Helpless...

so I just got this....as i sit pondering why i wake up every morning/afternon/whenever, wondering what to do with myself, i gathered this....

ok here's some quick facts...barcus and i are once agian friends, don't remember what the last scuffle was even about, but who ever does....and based off of what i just said, that implies we've had our difficulties with each other, fights, bickering, whathaveyou, all before, and agian who knows what about....then things get better and we hang out...and for the past whatever we've been hanging out more and more..this facet might be also helped by the fact that barcus and zak had a recent falling out...but whatever the case may be, barcus and i have been having more heart to heart talks or something to that extent...or maybe i've just been putting things together and seeing relationships between the two lives, but here is my conclusion: we are both hopeless romantics clinging onto the one hope that gives us the time of day.

wow, and i take a step back from that comment...but for those of you out there who can actualy look at and see both lives acting simultaneously, you have to see that.....i mean i can make the reference towards barcus, and i know that has been said to me about my ways as well, but until now it has hit me....that conclusion keeps ringing through my head and i keep laughing, i lke it. so what causes us to do so, the want to be needed, the need to be wanted, having something, wy is this so important that we keep tossing our hearts around, and that brings up a question of love....we aren't in love, we're just happy to have found someone to spend the day with, but when that fails, look out, we coming falling into a depressive stupor as well....i'm not going into it, nothing i say makes sense...but if there was help available for this, i would take it, this deals with too many different things and involves just more than myself..depression i can do whatever with, it's just me there, but this thing, two people at a time get hurt, and will it ever end...i thought it did, but i was wrong......wrong to think, wrong to love, wrong to be, i was wrong and always will be...now, leave me be....