So Here's a Story....
so last night i had to work at target, i make my usual rounds, stopping at Strack N Can Til to buy my drink and a snack for break 1...well tonight, for some reason i was in the mood for chocolate milk, normally it's a fruit drink or something, no pop, and nestle's chocolate milk was on sale so i said what the hell...i get to my car i pop the top and drink a bit....dink on my way to work....where i meet up with Jen...yadda yadda yadda...so we're making out and she comments how bad the taste is of my mouth, so she hands me a stick of gum, fruit strips i beleive...so we continue, then all of a sudden she starts getting sick...and sicker..finally she quickly runs away from me and starts throwing up...now i'm thinknig what the hell, i'm i really that disgusting of a kisser....i always thought myself to be pretty good, maybe too much tonguel action for her or something..who knows...so i grab my milk and wait for her to come back after she is better......she makes her way back holding her stomache, still looking sick..and then she notices the milk i am holding...she says, "wait, were you drinking that before yuo got here..and before w started making out.." and isaid "yes"...then this is great, she goes, kinda yelling, " i'm lactose intolerant you idiot!"
how great of a story is that?!?! i soo want to make that into a movie!!! ZACH!!!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Craziness...
and no, i wasn't on anything at the time....
wow, last night was crazy...for some reason i was really hyper....i was that normal crazy jason angus..have been that wild in a long time, felt good too, and many peopl got kicks out of it.....chris the night manager, arly saying he wanted to d oa drug test on me, came by agian and i asked how he was, h asid good now, probably refering to our singing in the aisles, and i said yeah, attitude is contagious..he responded with, i hope i don't cath that....
of course i did catch some Zzzzz's on first and second break...after telling a couple stories.....everyone seems to erally love it when i'm in a good mood...and they are very sympathetic on most subjects coughwhatcough...yah, but i was singing, wearing some cocked army looking hat, singing rap songs, i was called the jew from malibu..aka jamie kennedy or something like that, yeah it was all too fun last night..who knows how long this high will last....
oh, so i think the heat has been turned on here at C21, the other night i was messing with it, yet it was still cold, i think we all remember that post....i just had a fleeting idea, or is it an idea of fleeting, fleetwood mac, whatever, TBA....
want to thank everyone for their support with me on this certian subject...it's funny howe i want to make a comment, i'll make you research this one, but Reinhard Heydrich treated his guests a little bit more nice...and he liked the violin as well..i know that's a very low comment, but damn this history channel...why must i watch hours at end of it....but i love it so, just like the forensic files and all those shows...
and no, i wasn't on anything at the time....
wow, last night was crazy...for some reason i was really hyper....i was that normal crazy jason angus..have been that wild in a long time, felt good too, and many peopl got kicks out of it.....chris the night manager, arly saying he wanted to d oa drug test on me, came by agian and i asked how he was, h asid good now, probably refering to our singing in the aisles, and i said yeah, attitude is contagious..he responded with, i hope i don't cath that....
of course i did catch some Zzzzz's on first and second break...after telling a couple stories.....everyone seems to erally love it when i'm in a good mood...and they are very sympathetic on most subjects coughwhatcough...yah, but i was singing, wearing some cocked army looking hat, singing rap songs, i was called the jew from malibu..aka jamie kennedy or something like that, yeah it was all too fun last night..who knows how long this high will last....
oh, so i think the heat has been turned on here at C21, the other night i was messing with it, yet it was still cold, i think we all remember that post....i just had a fleeting idea, or is it an idea of fleeting, fleetwood mac, whatever, TBA....
want to thank everyone for their support with me on this certian subject...it's funny howe i want to make a comment, i'll make you research this one, but Reinhard Heydrich treated his guests a little bit more nice...and he liked the violin as well..i know that's a very low comment, but damn this history channel...why must i watch hours at end of it....but i love it so, just like the forensic files and all those shows...
Monday, September 29, 2003
Zeptember!!!!
And the Feel that I get, When I Look to the West....
so yes, Zeptember is coming to a close....i didn't really notice any significant changes in the amount of air play for zeppelin, but oh well, it was a holiday that lasts a year for me.....
oh..to go with a post from a couple back, about life being fucked up..guess who i saw today....whitney castle....yeah i had to say hello as i passed by her, normaly we don't say anything, and kinda hide after seeing each other, but this time i walked by and said hi, she acknowledged, it was nice...which makes me think, what happened in that situation to make everything go wrong...i coulda swore everyone trying to hook us up at the end of junior/beginning of senior year...don't remember all those calls zach? ahh but who knows, life's little mysteries i am everso lucky to be involved with.....
so i have this hair tie thingy on my left index finger, in lieu of the ring that once was there....it's nice, i do take it off at times, trying to get uesd to that...but the thing i love most about it, it smells like a woman.....every now and then i'll give it a quick sniff, like a cocaine snort, and get my high from it...gets me a little excited as well....ife's little pleasures i guess....
zeppelin endorses cadaliac....i would like one.....a nice 4 door of course, maybe in the very distant future.....
"it's like history erased itself" or like "being erased from history"..hahaha...anyways, yes indeed, history has been erased, or at least edited in a fashionable manner...almost makes you think she still has an tear drop's worth of love for me...ahhhh, so heartwarming, or maybe she didn't like the onslaught of abuse from my loyal readers, in any event i'm moved....
speaking of moving.....who moved my cheese....is a book...things i don't normally read...but i was told to buy that book....dealing with change...i needed 15 cents for the tol road today, wasn't there an alternative route.....well i've got more to say, but sadly enough i have to go to target...til next time!!!!
And the Feel that I get, When I Look to the West....
so yes, Zeptember is coming to a close....i didn't really notice any significant changes in the amount of air play for zeppelin, but oh well, it was a holiday that lasts a year for me.....
oh..to go with a post from a couple back, about life being fucked up..guess who i saw today....whitney castle....yeah i had to say hello as i passed by her, normaly we don't say anything, and kinda hide after seeing each other, but this time i walked by and said hi, she acknowledged, it was nice...which makes me think, what happened in that situation to make everything go wrong...i coulda swore everyone trying to hook us up at the end of junior/beginning of senior year...don't remember all those calls zach? ahh but who knows, life's little mysteries i am everso lucky to be involved with.....
so i have this hair tie thingy on my left index finger, in lieu of the ring that once was there....it's nice, i do take it off at times, trying to get uesd to that...but the thing i love most about it, it smells like a woman.....every now and then i'll give it a quick sniff, like a cocaine snort, and get my high from it...gets me a little excited as well....ife's little pleasures i guess....
zeppelin endorses cadaliac....i would like one.....a nice 4 door of course, maybe in the very distant future.....
"it's like history erased itself" or like "being erased from history"..hahaha...anyways, yes indeed, history has been erased, or at least edited in a fashionable manner...almost makes you think she still has an tear drop's worth of love for me...ahhhh, so heartwarming, or maybe she didn't like the onslaught of abuse from my loyal readers, in any event i'm moved....
speaking of moving.....who moved my cheese....is a book...things i don't normally read...but i was told to buy that book....dealing with change...i needed 15 cents for the tol road today, wasn't there an alternative route.....well i've got more to say, but sadly enough i have to go to target...til next time!!!!
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Cold as Hell..Wait..Damn
Cold, Colder, Coldest....
well this is completly random.... i'm really cold, which is prohibitibng me from sleeping..i know i said in a previous post i was tired, which i was at the time, but the temperature is a dropping and i can't get to sleep....i don't think the heat has been turned on here yet....and it's really damn cold to sleep in the car, though i have done it before while it was snowing...i guess i'm going to have to get some blankets out of storage....
let's see...i noticed i just got blammed for TP'ing Brooke over the weekend, fat chance to that i say...of course i tried to make a comment on her Xanga in response to her post, but she has my named blocked so i'm not able to, well since i know she reads this (at times) i'll give the jist of it: she said it was a crappy job, and we all know how we (ie old school pity party) did tp's...at least one package of 24 rolls per person, with at least 3-4 people doing a job...i would never embark on a TP'ing alone, there wouldn't be any fun in that..plus there would have to be AOL discs, bean bag filler, clay pigeons, salting of the earth, moving of cars, and anything else we could get our hands on..and i doubt all that was there, if i wanted to get her, i'm sure it would be one hell of a job, but i'm not that vigilant towards her, but for some reason she thinks so, don't want to ruffle the feathers of someone who has some of your things and owes you others, i mean put yourself in my shoes, i just try to talk to the girl, she's the won't who's anti it all...i don't know if that's all, but there that was at least....
looking at people's profiles/away messages...kendall must be feeling kinda down: Why won't you speak to me, what happened? horrible night, please make the morning better...(break)I can't speak, I'm lost for words, I can't hear, the silence burns a whole inside of me, that I can't fill for the life of me. I can't see, I'm blinded by the things you say to me are lies. I can't feel, feel you near, and that's because you were never here. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? I put my trust in you, but life can change. You lied to me, you let me down, you turned this smile into a frown and now you're the only reason why, I find it hard to sleep at night. I'm feeling sad, feeling blue, I think of the past times spent with you and now there's nothing left to say, so I just turn my head away.hmmmm i wonder if i could ever relate to that feeling?????
ok....so there's a random slogan generator website i found, basically you type in your name and it pulls out the products name and replaces it with yours, funny for the first three clicks...."It Needn't Be Hell With Jason." "Builds Bonny Jason.""Get More From Jason.""It's the Bright One, it's the Right One, that's Jason""Sweet as the Moment When the Jason Went "Pop""
i think a lot of it sounds all too sexual for my liking....
going with sexual, funny conversation......
Girl: Wait, you use your left hand to...[not said, but understood, fingering]
Me: Well...yeah...naturally....i do play the guitar...
god, is that only funny to me???
and off that note, duncan asked me how to pronounce a certain word, i guess they were having trivia wars at his house or something, which led to the discovery of this site, i like how it talks about eatern vs western beliefs, particularly buddhism
and that's all i got for now, going to lay down, honestly...oh, and have you been noticing double titles, one bolded the other italicised, yeah, double thoughts, hidden thoughts, whatever
Cold, Colder, Coldest....
well this is completly random.... i'm really cold, which is prohibitibng me from sleeping..i know i said in a previous post i was tired, which i was at the time, but the temperature is a dropping and i can't get to sleep....i don't think the heat has been turned on here yet....and it's really damn cold to sleep in the car, though i have done it before while it was snowing...i guess i'm going to have to get some blankets out of storage....
let's see...i noticed i just got blammed for TP'ing Brooke over the weekend, fat chance to that i say...of course i tried to make a comment on her Xanga in response to her post, but she has my named blocked so i'm not able to, well since i know she reads this (at times) i'll give the jist of it: she said it was a crappy job, and we all know how we (ie old school pity party) did tp's...at least one package of 24 rolls per person, with at least 3-4 people doing a job...i would never embark on a TP'ing alone, there wouldn't be any fun in that..plus there would have to be AOL discs, bean bag filler, clay pigeons, salting of the earth, moving of cars, and anything else we could get our hands on..and i doubt all that was there, if i wanted to get her, i'm sure it would be one hell of a job, but i'm not that vigilant towards her, but for some reason she thinks so, don't want to ruffle the feathers of someone who has some of your things and owes you others, i mean put yourself in my shoes, i just try to talk to the girl, she's the won't who's anti it all...i don't know if that's all, but there that was at least....
looking at people's profiles/away messages...kendall must be feeling kinda down: Why won't you speak to me, what happened? horrible night, please make the morning better...(break)I can't speak, I'm lost for words, I can't hear, the silence burns a whole inside of me, that I can't fill for the life of me. I can't see, I'm blinded by the things you say to me are lies. I can't feel, feel you near, and that's because you were never here. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? I put my trust in you, but life can change. You lied to me, you let me down, you turned this smile into a frown and now you're the only reason why, I find it hard to sleep at night. I'm feeling sad, feeling blue, I think of the past times spent with you and now there's nothing left to say, so I just turn my head away.hmmmm i wonder if i could ever relate to that feeling?????
ok....so there's a random slogan generator website i found, basically you type in your name and it pulls out the products name and replaces it with yours, funny for the first three clicks...."It Needn't Be Hell With Jason." "Builds Bonny Jason.""Get More From Jason.""It's the Bright One, it's the Right One, that's Jason""Sweet as the Moment When the Jason Went "Pop""
i think a lot of it sounds all too sexual for my liking....
going with sexual, funny conversation......
Girl: Wait, you use your left hand to...[not said, but understood, fingering]
Me: Well...yeah...naturally....i do play the guitar...
god, is that only funny to me???
and off that note, duncan asked me how to pronounce a certain word, i guess they were having trivia wars at his house or something, which led to the discovery of this site, i like how it talks about eatern vs western beliefs, particularly buddhism
and that's all i got for now, going to lay down, honestly...oh, and have you been noticing double titles, one bolded the other italicised, yeah, double thoughts, hidden thoughts, whatever
Complicated...
and is no way directed to who you think it is....just in general...
i don't know how to start this off, i could start with different things, but i'll just go with whatever comes off my fingers...every wonder how things turn out like they do, or rather why things turn out like they do? like how you start talking with someone, getting to know them, maybe you astart liking this person...then just a bit down the road they exclude you from the picture, maybe not fully, but they gto someone else..then come down the raod even later and those two have been together for a couple months and they are madly in love with each other....like in high fidelity where john's first girlfriend starts making out with another guy, only years to come they end up marrying, and nobody remembers john's character as being the first boyfriend...
it's wired because you always hear people say, "well if you would have told me back then i'd be here now, or something to that extent, i'd never beleived ya" and that's absolutly true, you can't predict the future of what may come, you can only expect things to happen based on generalities and habitual outcomes...
life is so messed up, and everything around you just makes things worse and more complex...i suppose you could disect thigns one at a time...but i doubt you'll ever get an answer...
i'm sorry, i'm getting distracterd and very tierd...so i know this post will not make any sense....
but even in the world's disorder, there are patterns...maybe it's just my life, maybe other's have this too, but do you ever notice patterns that happen in your life, or how one situation reminsd you of another..how your life is just like a cirlce, in that you are moving on this circle which itself is moving on a plane, so that there are intersecting points, but they aren't the same way traveled, it's a different path, so as to not make it the same thing, new people or places, but same concept, and off of these new points there can be intersecting points from the traveled circle life..and these points seem like something before, which is all based off that one original happening..it'd look like if you were to draw a cirlce, but very slowly moved the paper to the side as you did it.....
but how/why do they turn out like they do....you are expecting them to maybe go a certian way, then all of a sudden it's not....i mean all the right ingrediants were there to have caused somethign, in which it did, but it goes askew somewhere in the process...
wow, things are interesting...
and is no way directed to who you think it is....just in general...
i don't know how to start this off, i could start with different things, but i'll just go with whatever comes off my fingers...every wonder how things turn out like they do, or rather why things turn out like they do? like how you start talking with someone, getting to know them, maybe you astart liking this person...then just a bit down the road they exclude you from the picture, maybe not fully, but they gto someone else..then come down the raod even later and those two have been together for a couple months and they are madly in love with each other....like in high fidelity where john's first girlfriend starts making out with another guy, only years to come they end up marrying, and nobody remembers john's character as being the first boyfriend...
it's wired because you always hear people say, "well if you would have told me back then i'd be here now, or something to that extent, i'd never beleived ya" and that's absolutly true, you can't predict the future of what may come, you can only expect things to happen based on generalities and habitual outcomes...
life is so messed up, and everything around you just makes things worse and more complex...i suppose you could disect thigns one at a time...but i doubt you'll ever get an answer...
i'm sorry, i'm getting distracterd and very tierd...so i know this post will not make any sense....
but even in the world's disorder, there are patterns...maybe it's just my life, maybe other's have this too, but do you ever notice patterns that happen in your life, or how one situation reminsd you of another..how your life is just like a cirlce, in that you are moving on this circle which itself is moving on a plane, so that there are intersecting points, but they aren't the same way traveled, it's a different path, so as to not make it the same thing, new people or places, but same concept, and off of these new points there can be intersecting points from the traveled circle life..and these points seem like something before, which is all based off that one original happening..it'd look like if you were to draw a cirlce, but very slowly moved the paper to the side as you did it.....
but how/why do they turn out like they do....you are expecting them to maybe go a certian way, then all of a sudden it's not....i mean all the right ingrediants were there to have caused somethign, in which it did, but it goes askew somewhere in the process...
wow, things are interesting...
New Chapter...
...or should i say, revised chapter
alright...well let's start off with yesterday.....i can't really remember what happened in the morn', but i do remember being very bored...oh yeah, i got rudly awakened here at the office, then i bummed around....after finally starting to go stir crazy i made calls...as i stated in that post...then later i made one more call to vince, he was in town!!!! so i came over and we played monopoly...and played and played...good god how it was the highlight of my day...i've been wanting to play monopoly for awhile now....but yeah the game lasted to the wee hours of the night, with elizabeth being victorious, even after the bankrupt merger of A&W...
after the game had ended, so cliche to land on boardwalk with a hotel on it as the game ender....we sat around and read, then we took note how we had to be the lamest group of 20 year olds around, sat night, sitting around reading...i looked at my watch and commented how we should have been wasted by now, with others adding in dancingv naked on the table and such..good times.....and then that's all she wrote, how tired asses crashed in our respective places..i think it was the thrill of monopoly thart wore me out....
so then that brings me to today...sleeping my life away agian, grrrr but lindsey met up with me, for what who knows, i just kinda sat around here in the blue room, showed he the journals i read, then she played with my phone and i showed her my pics online.......she would ask who is that, or i would ask her do you know who that is....seeing who she knew started to mess with me....she knows billy, and about the breakup, and i guess they hang out and talk about cars within their group..she knew duncan...even went to his open house..which i did not attend, and i don't remember why, i know there was a reason...work? then she recognized the name baiel...then she knew barcus, this sent an instant signal to me, i kept qustioning how she knew him....and after all the talks it cam out she knew me before this time...whereas i thought i just met her at alco....i sat in shock, i didn't know what to say...this damn person knew me before i thought we met...it's not stalkerish, just a fault on my part for not remembering meeting her before.....but then everything started to fit into place, which scared me even more...like the comment, "oh yeah, you're the one who likes the squirrels" which sh made after seeing a card i bought...remembering to a time when we met and seinfeld was on or something......and then the comment, "oh, and i bet you take salt shakers as well" remembering a conversation either from me, or someone else about my collection of salt shakers......admn, it's a small world after all...and i got to remember people a little bit better, even if we did meet for 10 minutes..
so yeah, life just got a little more fucked up....that's all from this blue box, i'm hungry
...or should i say, revised chapter
alright...well let's start off with yesterday.....i can't really remember what happened in the morn', but i do remember being very bored...oh yeah, i got rudly awakened here at the office, then i bummed around....after finally starting to go stir crazy i made calls...as i stated in that post...then later i made one more call to vince, he was in town!!!! so i came over and we played monopoly...and played and played...good god how it was the highlight of my day...i've been wanting to play monopoly for awhile now....but yeah the game lasted to the wee hours of the night, with elizabeth being victorious, even after the bankrupt merger of A&W...
after the game had ended, so cliche to land on boardwalk with a hotel on it as the game ender....we sat around and read, then we took note how we had to be the lamest group of 20 year olds around, sat night, sitting around reading...i looked at my watch and commented how we should have been wasted by now, with others adding in dancingv naked on the table and such..good times.....and then that's all she wrote, how tired asses crashed in our respective places..i think it was the thrill of monopoly thart wore me out....
so then that brings me to today...sleeping my life away agian, grrrr but lindsey met up with me, for what who knows, i just kinda sat around here in the blue room, showed he the journals i read, then she played with my phone and i showed her my pics online.......she would ask who is that, or i would ask her do you know who that is....seeing who she knew started to mess with me....she knows billy, and about the breakup, and i guess they hang out and talk about cars within their group..she knew duncan...even went to his open house..which i did not attend, and i don't remember why, i know there was a reason...work? then she recognized the name baiel...then she knew barcus, this sent an instant signal to me, i kept qustioning how she knew him....and after all the talks it cam out she knew me before this time...whereas i thought i just met her at alco....i sat in shock, i didn't know what to say...this damn person knew me before i thought we met...it's not stalkerish, just a fault on my part for not remembering meeting her before.....but then everything started to fit into place, which scared me even more...like the comment, "oh yeah, you're the one who likes the squirrels" which sh made after seeing a card i bought...remembering to a time when we met and seinfeld was on or something......and then the comment, "oh, and i bet you take salt shakers as well" remembering a conversation either from me, or someone else about my collection of salt shakers......admn, it's a small world after all...and i got to remember people a little bit better, even if we did meet for 10 minutes..
so yeah, life just got a little more fucked up....that's all from this blue box, i'm hungry
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Anybody Seeeeeeen Myyyyyyy Paaaaaaaants.....
Well, due to a DC error, we didn't get a truck last night...and it was a sight to see over 20 people in the backroom doing pulls...in all we got out early probably 2 or so, who knows...
good conversations arose during this short time..too tired to type it all now though....but there was a confrontation betwen angie and myself....we were bth doing the snack pull, and thus we were down the same ailse, and that's when we got a talking....two totally different stories..and i'm the bad guy in hers of course..something along the lines of not talking to her the next time we worked together..though by that time i had already heard from others shit she was saying, so it was all really 12 fold....
the test came yesterday to prove to what extent i would still do for her, and take the results as they are...it's funny though because that question ran through the minds of the people who i told the story to, but they kinda knew i would lean the way i did, just like a ring....
can't express my lazy-day-ness without my hoody.....it's 4 am i'm beyond bored...can't i be doing smething???
***makes phone calls***
yeah, that accomplished nothing.......wel i don't know what i'm gonig to do in the mean time...normally i don't have enough time..now i got way too much...damnation...
Well, due to a DC error, we didn't get a truck last night...and it was a sight to see over 20 people in the backroom doing pulls...in all we got out early probably 2 or so, who knows...
good conversations arose during this short time..too tired to type it all now though....but there was a confrontation betwen angie and myself....we were bth doing the snack pull, and thus we were down the same ailse, and that's when we got a talking....two totally different stories..and i'm the bad guy in hers of course..something along the lines of not talking to her the next time we worked together..though by that time i had already heard from others shit she was saying, so it was all really 12 fold....
the test came yesterday to prove to what extent i would still do for her, and take the results as they are...it's funny though because that question ran through the minds of the people who i told the story to, but they kinda knew i would lean the way i did, just like a ring....
can't express my lazy-day-ness without my hoody.....it's 4 am i'm beyond bored...can't i be doing smething???
***makes phone calls***
yeah, that accomplished nothing.......wel i don't know what i'm gonig to do in the mean time...normally i don't have enough time..now i got way too much...damnation...
Friday, September 26, 2003
What you want out of it....
ohhh hell...so i know what i have to do, what i should do, well, it's the best option, but i'm not at that point where i have the motive to do it...call it bad timing but what can ya do...
lets see....moses talked to a burning bush, jesus talked to a fig tree, and zach talked with his special plant..people everywhere talk to their plants to help them grow....
it's friday and i work agian...but tomorrow i have off, and sunday...doesn't mean a damn thing to me..or anyone i know.....
well except that fact that i can't display my lazy day-ness with my favorite lazy day wearing hoody, you know which one i'm talking about, the soft grey aero one, yeah...bastards...i think someone may have it......
speaking of having things that are mine....how do you go about asking for something back that is yours....i mean, yeah, it's yours, they tried to pull an unsolved mystories and vanish off the face of your world, you in the mean time are bored and need those things back to entertain you, what do you do...and what kind of irrational response is over my dead body? i was being nice, i even asked for some back.....ohh what to doo....
Barcus and his posse honked and waved to me today, that was nice....
it's raining...i like the rain....
wow.....that's all i can even say after that phone call..then my return call....yeah, that just proves why a phone call won't work...it's funny because i knew she was in a panic and was freaking out..and you know i would have dropped everything at that moment to do anything possible for her... my heart still yerns for her, i want to see her be safe, i care too much...i asked for her to call me when her ride arrived to ease my mind that she was ok, she refused, and as i was on the phone with her, her party did arrive, and she said, oh their her and hung up...once agian without even saying goodbye....wow
i'm going to sit in the rain now.....
ohhh hell...so i know what i have to do, what i should do, well, it's the best option, but i'm not at that point where i have the motive to do it...call it bad timing but what can ya do...
lets see....moses talked to a burning bush, jesus talked to a fig tree, and zach talked with his special plant..people everywhere talk to their plants to help them grow....
it's friday and i work agian...but tomorrow i have off, and sunday...doesn't mean a damn thing to me..or anyone i know.....
well except that fact that i can't display my lazy day-ness with my favorite lazy day wearing hoody, you know which one i'm talking about, the soft grey aero one, yeah...bastards...i think someone may have it......
speaking of having things that are mine....how do you go about asking for something back that is yours....i mean, yeah, it's yours, they tried to pull an unsolved mystories and vanish off the face of your world, you in the mean time are bored and need those things back to entertain you, what do you do...and what kind of irrational response is over my dead body? i was being nice, i even asked for some back.....ohh what to doo....
Barcus and his posse honked and waved to me today, that was nice....
it's raining...i like the rain....
wow.....that's all i can even say after that phone call..then my return call....yeah, that just proves why a phone call won't work...it's funny because i knew she was in a panic and was freaking out..and you know i would have dropped everything at that moment to do anything possible for her... my heart still yerns for her, i want to see her be safe, i care too much...i asked for her to call me when her ride arrived to ease my mind that she was ok, she refused, and as i was on the phone with her, her party did arrive, and she said, oh their her and hung up...once agian without even saying goodbye....wow
i'm going to sit in the rain now.....
Feelings......worst song of the 70's
well here's the update zach has been asking for....i hope it's not harsh....
so yeah, i went to the movies, is that supposed to mean something, well it didn't mean anything to you back then, so why wouldn't it mean something with me now, whoa, sorry...yeah, it was completly random what happened that night....here's what i know about her, nothing, literally, and i'm content with that....she spends a lot of time on her cell phone, 2-waying for the love of god, damn nextels, and she has a lot of guy freinds...now i don't know about you, but a girl that has a lot of guy friends usually have somethign wrong with them, in some senes, eaither really fucked up in the mind or really fucked up in the...well you get my point...i guess it's all in how you raise your oils and waters, but yeah....
she knew a lot about cars..maybe too much for my liking...i thought it was funny how her dream car would be a toyota supra....i remember when i had a liking for that car as well, twin turbo, sleek design, stopped making them in 97 or so, targa top of course, and pretty chrome wheels....yeah that was awhile ago, don't know if i would own one now though......but back to cars here, she drives a stick, i'm sure that messes with me a bit, after getting past all those sexual references as well...and she drives fast, only seen her drive once, but i took note of how reckless it was....that's not a good thing.....
and so i got a call from this girl last night....i wasn't expecting a call, and when i knew it was her i was like what the hell....i seriously thought about asking her why she called me, but i figured that to be too rude..i mean honestly, why would someone call me, unless they wanted a favor, but be damned if they just wanted to talk....
oh on an even weirder note....she asked me where i was when i called, i told her it was the office...and from there it went into the story of me being homeless...she didn't believe me at first saying, "everybody has a home"....and then i thought home is where the heart is, and i don't even have a house....so i was talking about how great my blue room was, beleiving in my own propaganda...then she says....that she would like to hang out or visit me in the blue room sometime...damn i hate people..what does she want from me, why the call, the hanging out, grrrrr, why can't people just be upfront and tell it like it is...oh wait, i'm still dealing with a situation like that....
on a livelier note...last night i worked at target...don't i always...and randomly irene started scratching my back.....god how the sensation of touch just overwhelms me with delight.....she soon stopped after seeing the look on my face, btu said she'd do that every 15 minutes or so to keep me quite or calm or tame or whatever...but yeah, it's kind of a double edged sword...i hate to be touched by people, well most people...but i also love to be touched..somethign as simple as back-scratch, or slight rub on the back..yeah......i miss being touched....
that's all....
well here's the update zach has been asking for....i hope it's not harsh....
so yeah, i went to the movies, is that supposed to mean something, well it didn't mean anything to you back then, so why wouldn't it mean something with me now, whoa, sorry...yeah, it was completly random what happened that night....here's what i know about her, nothing, literally, and i'm content with that....she spends a lot of time on her cell phone, 2-waying for the love of god, damn nextels, and she has a lot of guy freinds...now i don't know about you, but a girl that has a lot of guy friends usually have somethign wrong with them, in some senes, eaither really fucked up in the mind or really fucked up in the...well you get my point...i guess it's all in how you raise your oils and waters, but yeah....
she knew a lot about cars..maybe too much for my liking...i thought it was funny how her dream car would be a toyota supra....i remember when i had a liking for that car as well, twin turbo, sleek design, stopped making them in 97 or so, targa top of course, and pretty chrome wheels....yeah that was awhile ago, don't know if i would own one now though......but back to cars here, she drives a stick, i'm sure that messes with me a bit, after getting past all those sexual references as well...and she drives fast, only seen her drive once, but i took note of how reckless it was....that's not a good thing.....
and so i got a call from this girl last night....i wasn't expecting a call, and when i knew it was her i was like what the hell....i seriously thought about asking her why she called me, but i figured that to be too rude..i mean honestly, why would someone call me, unless they wanted a favor, but be damned if they just wanted to talk....
oh on an even weirder note....she asked me where i was when i called, i told her it was the office...and from there it went into the story of me being homeless...she didn't believe me at first saying, "everybody has a home"....and then i thought home is where the heart is, and i don't even have a house....so i was talking about how great my blue room was, beleiving in my own propaganda...then she says....that she would like to hang out or visit me in the blue room sometime...damn i hate people..what does she want from me, why the call, the hanging out, grrrrr, why can't people just be upfront and tell it like it is...oh wait, i'm still dealing with a situation like that....
on a livelier note...last night i worked at target...don't i always...and randomly irene started scratching my back.....god how the sensation of touch just overwhelms me with delight.....she soon stopped after seeing the look on my face, btu said she'd do that every 15 minutes or so to keep me quite or calm or tame or whatever...but yeah, it's kind of a double edged sword...i hate to be touched by people, well most people...but i also love to be touched..somethign as simple as back-scratch, or slight rub on the back..yeah......i miss being touched....
that's all....
Slow Train Coming.....
so as i sit here in my blue room, sounds of the outside catch my attention rather easily...as we all know there are train tracks about 100 feet from the building, and the train traffic is heavier at night as well.....well everytime a train comes by, i stop what am doing, turn around and lean towards the window and just watch..and more and more i'm actually thinkni about hopping on it and seeing where it takes me, no gas money yeah......but then the hard part would be trying to get back...that's to say i would want to...it's just a thought, if you don't hear from me for an extended length of time, that's where i'll be.....
so as i sit here in my blue room, sounds of the outside catch my attention rather easily...as we all know there are train tracks about 100 feet from the building, and the train traffic is heavier at night as well.....well everytime a train comes by, i stop what am doing, turn around and lean towards the window and just watch..and more and more i'm actually thinkni about hopping on it and seeing where it takes me, no gas money yeah......but then the hard part would be trying to get back...that's to say i would want to...it's just a thought, if you don't hear from me for an extended length of time, that's where i'll be.....
Thursday, September 25, 2003
**UPDATE**
this just in, Billy Chipowitz, aka Adam Willis is no longer engaged...and has a new girlfriend...and something to do with spending so much time with her, rent monies have been paid by billy....more details as they evolve...
so what the hell, just as everybody decides they got their one, they end it just as quickly...wasn't billy supposed to marry that bitch?? weren't we all supposed t go to that wedding..oh lordy.......yeah so i now feel in the twilight zone or something, everything is being flipped around...this is all too much, why's everything got to be messed up....
this just in, Billy Chipowitz, aka Adam Willis is no longer engaged...and has a new girlfriend...and something to do with spending so much time with her, rent monies have been paid by billy....more details as they evolve...
so what the hell, just as everybody decides they got their one, they end it just as quickly...wasn't billy supposed to marry that bitch?? weren't we all supposed t go to that wedding..oh lordy.......yeah so i now feel in the twilight zone or something, everything is being flipped around...this is all too much, why's everything got to be messed up....
You Want the Truth...You Can't Handle the Truth..I Denounce Your Truth Handling Abilities You Non-Truth Handler...but here it is anyways, be prepared....
Also, one of the saddest lived stories I can recall....
So here's a little something for you, though a blog about it is extreme in some words, other won't think so....so if you are anonymous, i suggest you take a seat if you wish to continue to read.....
And away we go...
So as we all know i like to do things for people, if they call upon me i feel as if they had some reason for donig so, i'm reliable to them, they know i can help them out, and that's what i like, having the ability to be there for people, helping them out, whatever they, little things to big things, seeing them walking and giving them a ride if just down the street to lendfing them $500, if i can do it, i usually will...now of course there has to be a build up to get to that big favor as mentioned before, but if you call upon m for a small thign, everything works out fine and you'r nice about it, i'm more likely to do agian for you.....
enter lady k....well, i don't like to hide the truth, so lady k, as cool as a name that is, will be revealed as kodee, brooke's sister...now i've done little things for her before, given rides places, taking her to the bank, little things like that, and it's all cleared by her mom so it's not like a little rondezvous...i do it to help out both of them, because of time contraints and the sort.....
so i was called upon yesterday to be informed kodee got her student id and whenever was a good time for me, i could take her to the bank to cash a check and get paid...well i was doing nothing at the time so i decided might as well get it over with now and then...
the events aren't all that relevant, trip to the bank, then to eat BK because it was whopper wednesday, hell she even bought, then to merrillville and the mall to kill time until she needed to be dropped off at her church in lowell at 7, no biggie...but during that whole time i'd have to say it was one of the worst excruciating experiences possible...
so here's where it gets sad, and it's at the very beginning of ther story as well......i make my was over to the house and knock on the front door as normal. i hear th door unlatch and is opened slightly, as a gesture to enter, and i did....but half way through the door i stop dead, frozen still holding the handle, not moving a muscle. a mix of emotions ran through my body, i stood speachless, i thought for a second..but knew it wasn't, finally she sees me out the corner of her eye and asks, "what?" a tremble comes from my lips as i say to kodee, " you look exactly like brooke" . she replies after a puase with, "yeah, i got that lot today" well looking straight on you knew it was kodee, but if she turned her head, or her face was partly covered by something, there's no doubt she could have been mistaken for brooke.
the rest of the day was completly torturous as well...put yourself in my shoes, the girl/guy you love won't talk to you, they left you, to your knowledge, for nothing at all, you haven't seen, spoken, or anything with them in a long time, you're completly devastated, the past still lingers on, you try to do what you can, but what is there to do...then enter a look a like, better yet it's a sister/brother..and becuase of that realtion not only do they look like the other at times, but act as well....
yeah, that was my world yesterday, like some sort of hell on earth, just as evil as my dream the other day, life is having it's fun with my world around me....every time i looked at her, i saw brooke, several times i had to wander off to another side of the store because it was messing with me too much. it re-opened the wounds in my heart, i was drowning in the flood...sheeven asked me a couple times if i was angery or mad with her, something seemed out of the norm to her, but i wasn't mad at all...but that was a questionb brooke would ask when we were at the mall as well....i don't know what attitude i give off, but i most certianly wasn't mad...oh the tie that binds...
so then the end was nearing, thoughts ran through my head...as we all know, or am sure heard, i'm just asking for closure on all of this..i mean yeah i would like to know what happened, why, all the details, but i know i won't ever get them, so i just want it to end, on a note rather than nothing, i want there to be a goodbye...something for closure...and because of all this, and everything that was going on yesterday, i devised a scheme to trick myself into giving m that closure..i know it seems far fetched, but i'm gasping for air....i figured that if i were to close my eyes and give her a hug, and then say goodbye, everything wold be fine...give the other person the goodbye, but your mind will think it's who it's supposed to be.. i know it sounds crazy, but there's where i left it, in my head..i never went forth with the idea, probably didn't want to bust out crying in front of kodee like that, crazy idea, i'll just keep waiting for the real thing to happen, and i'll wait....
Also, one of the saddest lived stories I can recall....
So here's a little something for you, though a blog about it is extreme in some words, other won't think so....so if you are anonymous, i suggest you take a seat if you wish to continue to read.....
And away we go...
So as we all know i like to do things for people, if they call upon me i feel as if they had some reason for donig so, i'm reliable to them, they know i can help them out, and that's what i like, having the ability to be there for people, helping them out, whatever they, little things to big things, seeing them walking and giving them a ride if just down the street to lendfing them $500, if i can do it, i usually will...now of course there has to be a build up to get to that big favor as mentioned before, but if you call upon m for a small thign, everything works out fine and you'r nice about it, i'm more likely to do agian for you.....
enter lady k....well, i don't like to hide the truth, so lady k, as cool as a name that is, will be revealed as kodee, brooke's sister...now i've done little things for her before, given rides places, taking her to the bank, little things like that, and it's all cleared by her mom so it's not like a little rondezvous...i do it to help out both of them, because of time contraints and the sort.....
so i was called upon yesterday to be informed kodee got her student id and whenever was a good time for me, i could take her to the bank to cash a check and get paid...well i was doing nothing at the time so i decided might as well get it over with now and then...
the events aren't all that relevant, trip to the bank, then to eat BK because it was whopper wednesday, hell she even bought, then to merrillville and the mall to kill time until she needed to be dropped off at her church in lowell at 7, no biggie...but during that whole time i'd have to say it was one of the worst excruciating experiences possible...
so here's where it gets sad, and it's at the very beginning of ther story as well......i make my was over to the house and knock on the front door as normal. i hear th door unlatch and is opened slightly, as a gesture to enter, and i did....but half way through the door i stop dead, frozen still holding the handle, not moving a muscle. a mix of emotions ran through my body, i stood speachless, i thought for a second..but knew it wasn't, finally she sees me out the corner of her eye and asks, "what?" a tremble comes from my lips as i say to kodee, " you look exactly like brooke" . she replies after a puase with, "yeah, i got that lot today" well looking straight on you knew it was kodee, but if she turned her head, or her face was partly covered by something, there's no doubt she could have been mistaken for brooke.
the rest of the day was completly torturous as well...put yourself in my shoes, the girl/guy you love won't talk to you, they left you, to your knowledge, for nothing at all, you haven't seen, spoken, or anything with them in a long time, you're completly devastated, the past still lingers on, you try to do what you can, but what is there to do...then enter a look a like, better yet it's a sister/brother..and becuase of that realtion not only do they look like the other at times, but act as well....
yeah, that was my world yesterday, like some sort of hell on earth, just as evil as my dream the other day, life is having it's fun with my world around me....every time i looked at her, i saw brooke, several times i had to wander off to another side of the store because it was messing with me too much. it re-opened the wounds in my heart, i was drowning in the flood...sheeven asked me a couple times if i was angery or mad with her, something seemed out of the norm to her, but i wasn't mad at all...but that was a questionb brooke would ask when we were at the mall as well....i don't know what attitude i give off, but i most certianly wasn't mad...oh the tie that binds...
so then the end was nearing, thoughts ran through my head...as we all know, or am sure heard, i'm just asking for closure on all of this..i mean yeah i would like to know what happened, why, all the details, but i know i won't ever get them, so i just want it to end, on a note rather than nothing, i want there to be a goodbye...something for closure...and because of all this, and everything that was going on yesterday, i devised a scheme to trick myself into giving m that closure..i know it seems far fetched, but i'm gasping for air....i figured that if i were to close my eyes and give her a hug, and then say goodbye, everything wold be fine...give the other person the goodbye, but your mind will think it's who it's supposed to be.. i know it sounds crazy, but there's where i left it, in my head..i never went forth with the idea, probably didn't want to bust out crying in front of kodee like that, crazy idea, i'll just keep waiting for the real thing to happen, and i'll wait....
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Dreams and Reflections...
I've been having some messed up dreams lately...well not really messed up, just things I wouldn't expect from a dream, something that I didn't want to think about, something..who knows....
it's funny, but yesterday I had the greatest dream ever, and yet at the same time is was a terrible joke of a nightmare....I think it's possible, I would have doubted too, but I lived through it....I mean nothing bad happened in the dream, but it was a dream, and I actually realized it in the dream, and I could feel all emotion sink out of me..... let me explain the dream for ya...though I probably shouldn't.....
all I can basically remember is very little detail, but it lasted long enough for me to remember something....the characters, brooke and myself (yeah I know)......we were talking and laying in a bed, like maybe we just woke up or something, the room was bright...and she was smiling and laughing, and I felt soo happy, I don't know how dreams do that, but it felt so real...and as the dream went on, it seemed like nothing of this fallout happened..then I started thinking maybe it was just a flashback from the summer, before something went wrong..it was by then I knew it was just a dream....nothing more, and probably just a haunting reflection of the past. At that point I felt the sadness drop on top of me, I was hit by the train of reality...
I think I woke up right after that...feeling totally disappointed...I don't know what the dream means, remember the good times? or is it just my subconscious playing a sick joke on me..well whatever it could be, it still was the best and worst dream I've ever had.....
I've been having some messed up dreams lately...well not really messed up, just things I wouldn't expect from a dream, something that I didn't want to think about, something..who knows....
it's funny, but yesterday I had the greatest dream ever, and yet at the same time is was a terrible joke of a nightmare....I think it's possible, I would have doubted too, but I lived through it....I mean nothing bad happened in the dream, but it was a dream, and I actually realized it in the dream, and I could feel all emotion sink out of me..... let me explain the dream for ya...though I probably shouldn't.....
all I can basically remember is very little detail, but it lasted long enough for me to remember something....the characters, brooke and myself (yeah I know)......we were talking and laying in a bed, like maybe we just woke up or something, the room was bright...and she was smiling and laughing, and I felt soo happy, I don't know how dreams do that, but it felt so real...and as the dream went on, it seemed like nothing of this fallout happened..then I started thinking maybe it was just a flashback from the summer, before something went wrong..it was by then I knew it was just a dream....nothing more, and probably just a haunting reflection of the past. At that point I felt the sadness drop on top of me, I was hit by the train of reality...
I think I woke up right after that...feeling totally disappointed...I don't know what the dream means, remember the good times? or is it just my subconscious playing a sick joke on me..well whatever it could be, it still was the best and worst dream I've ever had.....
Stairway to Heaven...In Your Own Backyard
So i left off with alco...umm let's see.....well there's a cashier there that they call the girl who doesn't smile, but i'm damned if i can't make her smile...i guess that's just one of the characteristics i have, i can make many a people smile...which is great because i love to make people smile or laugh or just feel good......
oh, i had an "experience" at walgreens, but this is a two fold story....i'm telling this story to the girl who doesn't smile, begin..i'm at walgreens, just get out of the building and make my way to the alero, as i fumble to get into the car i notice a somewhat attractive female walking to her car just over from mine..she's takes notice of me, and i'm taking me time switching CD's or radio stations to get something good on before i go...i look over at the girl and she's looking in my direction..whatever, back to my music..now she pulls out and makes her way behind my car, slowing down right behind me, i look in the rear veiw mirror to see what is going on and she's still looking at me....i get nervous because that's the direction i have to go and i don't want her to think i'm following her..so i wait a sec then pull out...she turns to go behind the building as i turn to get on to rt 2...you see, she went out of her way to drive past me, crazy...
so i tell that story and no smile girl (lindsey) is sacrastically sympathizing with me saying "ohh she could have been the one" and shit like that....now the thoughts are going through my head, the one, meant to be.....i beleived in it once, lived through the holocaust, now no longer wish to beleive/remember, and can't inform the public of it either....but anyways...she's saying all this stuff and i remark quite simply, nah. and she's like right, she's not the one, you know how i know, because i'm the one....oh lordy....
later on i was trying to see if anyone wanted to go to the movies..i know it was a tuesday, but yeah, no waiting for the weekend, they're just days too...anyways, lindsay got wind and told me she'd go with me..i thought it was a school night, but who knows anything anymore...she even got off work early to go with because i had floor at C21 til 8, with a movie starting at 910.....
so this random person i don't know is riding with me to see a movie, wierd enough...and of course she really doesn't know who dylan, zeppelin, or the stones are...and i'm not in my car, damnation, so i couldn't have my fun torturing them with it..
at the theater i saw they had a DDR machine (running theme?) and heard the beethoven dance song, so i asked if she's ever played it and told her i would demonstrate...well i couldn't find the song, ran out of time so it randomly picked one for me....and i sucked..really badly....i did notice that the footpads were very worn and needed a lot of pressure to cause a hit on them....but in all, i remember why i hated it when i first played in michigan....i guess it's every other time with me, who knows..i'll stick to the ps2....mad an ass out of myself indeed....
so we saw dickie roberts former child star with david spade, got to love that man...and i enjoyed it, it was "nucking futs", his childhood catchphrase....and then there was the story about finding heaven in your own backyard, it was nice...oh, the past still lingers on..... one part during the movie, lindsey went to scratch her head, seeing this out of the corner on my eye, i turned and started to say something...but realized it wasn't her.....
on the way home, here's the great part....changing the radio stations, i heard the ending of the immigrant song..i tell her that was zeppelin, though nothing too great..then, two for tuesday, stairway comes on and all hell is let loose...i quickly explain to her the song, then crank it up and starting singing, of course sining the live version in parts because i like it (does anybody remember laughter?) i don't know if she enjoyed it, i don't care, it was stairway...the only thing she liked was when i said "yay" in my high pitched noise followed by some claps...
oh, and i had a missed call while i was in the theater from her, but seeing the M for mobile, i knew it wasn't her, getting overjoyed for nothing, these quick jumps with my heart are messing with me...i'm gonig to hav to edit my phonebook..
now the night ending, and this evening ended on a lot better not than the other movie outing, she realized it was a friendly affair. gave a quick hug and seperated....though she went to my left on the hug, totally throwing me off, but it was just a quick pat so all was well...
i've got more, nothing good i'm sure, but just some stuff worth ranting about but it'll wait....til then....
So i left off with alco...umm let's see.....well there's a cashier there that they call the girl who doesn't smile, but i'm damned if i can't make her smile...i guess that's just one of the characteristics i have, i can make many a people smile...which is great because i love to make people smile or laugh or just feel good......
oh, i had an "experience" at walgreens, but this is a two fold story....i'm telling this story to the girl who doesn't smile, begin..i'm at walgreens, just get out of the building and make my way to the alero, as i fumble to get into the car i notice a somewhat attractive female walking to her car just over from mine..she's takes notice of me, and i'm taking me time switching CD's or radio stations to get something good on before i go...i look over at the girl and she's looking in my direction..whatever, back to my music..now she pulls out and makes her way behind my car, slowing down right behind me, i look in the rear veiw mirror to see what is going on and she's still looking at me....i get nervous because that's the direction i have to go and i don't want her to think i'm following her..so i wait a sec then pull out...she turns to go behind the building as i turn to get on to rt 2...you see, she went out of her way to drive past me, crazy...
so i tell that story and no smile girl (lindsey) is sacrastically sympathizing with me saying "ohh she could have been the one" and shit like that....now the thoughts are going through my head, the one, meant to be.....i beleived in it once, lived through the holocaust, now no longer wish to beleive/remember, and can't inform the public of it either....but anyways...she's saying all this stuff and i remark quite simply, nah. and she's like right, she's not the one, you know how i know, because i'm the one....oh lordy....
later on i was trying to see if anyone wanted to go to the movies..i know it was a tuesday, but yeah, no waiting for the weekend, they're just days too...anyways, lindsay got wind and told me she'd go with me..i thought it was a school night, but who knows anything anymore...she even got off work early to go with because i had floor at C21 til 8, with a movie starting at 910.....
so this random person i don't know is riding with me to see a movie, wierd enough...and of course she really doesn't know who dylan, zeppelin, or the stones are...and i'm not in my car, damnation, so i couldn't have my fun torturing them with it..
at the theater i saw they had a DDR machine (running theme?) and heard the beethoven dance song, so i asked if she's ever played it and told her i would demonstrate...well i couldn't find the song, ran out of time so it randomly picked one for me....and i sucked..really badly....i did notice that the footpads were very worn and needed a lot of pressure to cause a hit on them....but in all, i remember why i hated it when i first played in michigan....i guess it's every other time with me, who knows..i'll stick to the ps2....mad an ass out of myself indeed....
so we saw dickie roberts former child star with david spade, got to love that man...and i enjoyed it, it was "nucking futs", his childhood catchphrase....and then there was the story about finding heaven in your own backyard, it was nice...oh, the past still lingers on..... one part during the movie, lindsey went to scratch her head, seeing this out of the corner on my eye, i turned and started to say something...but realized it wasn't her.....
on the way home, here's the great part....changing the radio stations, i heard the ending of the immigrant song..i tell her that was zeppelin, though nothing too great..then, two for tuesday, stairway comes on and all hell is let loose...i quickly explain to her the song, then crank it up and starting singing, of course sining the live version in parts because i like it (does anybody remember laughter?) i don't know if she enjoyed it, i don't care, it was stairway...the only thing she liked was when i said "yay" in my high pitched noise followed by some claps...
oh, and i had a missed call while i was in the theater from her, but seeing the M for mobile, i knew it wasn't her, getting overjoyed for nothing, these quick jumps with my heart are messing with me...i'm gonig to hav to edit my phonebook..
now the night ending, and this evening ended on a lot better not than the other movie outing, she realized it was a friendly affair. gave a quick hug and seperated....though she went to my left on the hug, totally throwing me off, but it was just a quick pat so all was well...
i've got more, nothing good i'm sure, but just some stuff worth ranting about but it'll wait....til then....
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Running Around....
Still Stong, but Becoming Weak...
So i took my car in to get it fixed today, yeah that's worth a story itself, but it's more of the events that have lead me up to here, pretty mazing shit....
so i headed up to sherrerville at a late start, around 10...and on the way there i totally forgot about the Tuesday morning office meeting..oh well...... so naturally i have to wait about an hour for them to diagnose it, then i got my rent-alero, he he...
first stop was target....upon entering the store i soon forgot why i ventured in...picked up an alarm clock that has blue LED's and another Johnny Cash CD....at the checkout the cashier's name was Melinda, i was quite happy...she was more talkative than any ordinary cashier, asking me what target i was from and such..so with that ice broke i commented on her name, yeah, we all remember the blue phone.....
so then i head on over to office depot, or is it max, i think it is depot, the one across the street next to meijer..anyways, all i neeed from there was a reem of paper...but as i pull in a white van is following me and screetches along next to me. i get out and one gets out all talking quickly, opening the doors of their van...they told me they were from chicago, tried to verify it with swift moves of paper and flashing the shirt logo, big deal..they said they had a delivery to make in gary, they wouldn't make it and wanted to sell me the stuff at a discounted price....home stereo equipment, they presented magazines the showed the prices of everythig they wanted to sell me...one was silent, he was the driver, the other was the quick talker, he even tried to walk me over to the bank to get money for it...the price on it was 3600...first he wanted a grand, i told him i had and would only give 60...he them brought me to the side and said he'd take 10%..i finally got out of it and and made my way into the store...yeah i did call the cops, call me a nark, the only reason why i did is because their plates were from conneticut...yeah....
so i visited with my grandma, i hated it at first, but then she asked a funny question, "how's Brooke" with those words i stopped dead in mid-drink of my pop, she quickly got the hint and from there started a rather different conversation with my grandma, she was trying to give me advice about it all, but her thoughts weren't all there, blame age, so nothing really was accomplished.."all's far in love and war" was a popint i brought up...well not war, damn geneva convention...on a side note, she wants me to do real estate in illinois..she really hates nancy., she knows some people and is going to call them up for me when she gets back from mertle beach.....
went quick grocery shopping....5 for 10 pizza's and .99 twelve pack coke with $10 purchase, hell yes....
made another trip back to target...my car should have been done by now, so i was killing time in the area....no it's not a new hangout, yet everyone i know from there was sadly enough working, i chatted with jen and her boyfriend in the break room until i decided it was time to go...4
ran around lowell for a good bit of time......now i remember why i don't drive a 2-door...a sports car would be all too fitting for someone like me...i've been doing burnouts, figure 8's, break torques, fishtailing, you name it, with this alero...they gave me a 6 cylinder this time, he he..yeah it has a spoiler and everything, reminds me of jenny, but she was more beast/man like, with her raised front end and such....but yeah, the car is great..as much as i hate it, i like it as well, hmmmm..
to be continued...
Still Stong, but Becoming Weak...
So i took my car in to get it fixed today, yeah that's worth a story itself, but it's more of the events that have lead me up to here, pretty mazing shit....
so i headed up to sherrerville at a late start, around 10...and on the way there i totally forgot about the Tuesday morning office meeting..oh well...... so naturally i have to wait about an hour for them to diagnose it, then i got my rent-alero, he he...
first stop was target....upon entering the store i soon forgot why i ventured in...picked up an alarm clock that has blue LED's and another Johnny Cash CD....at the checkout the cashier's name was Melinda, i was quite happy...she was more talkative than any ordinary cashier, asking me what target i was from and such..so with that ice broke i commented on her name, yeah, we all remember the blue phone.....
so then i head on over to office depot, or is it max, i think it is depot, the one across the street next to meijer..anyways, all i neeed from there was a reem of paper...but as i pull in a white van is following me and screetches along next to me. i get out and one gets out all talking quickly, opening the doors of their van...they told me they were from chicago, tried to verify it with swift moves of paper and flashing the shirt logo, big deal..they said they had a delivery to make in gary, they wouldn't make it and wanted to sell me the stuff at a discounted price....home stereo equipment, they presented magazines the showed the prices of everythig they wanted to sell me...one was silent, he was the driver, the other was the quick talker, he even tried to walk me over to the bank to get money for it...the price on it was 3600...first he wanted a grand, i told him i had and would only give 60...he them brought me to the side and said he'd take 10%..i finally got out of it and and made my way into the store...yeah i did call the cops, call me a nark, the only reason why i did is because their plates were from conneticut...yeah....
so i visited with my grandma, i hated it at first, but then she asked a funny question, "how's Brooke" with those words i stopped dead in mid-drink of my pop, she quickly got the hint and from there started a rather different conversation with my grandma, she was trying to give me advice about it all, but her thoughts weren't all there, blame age, so nothing really was accomplished.."all's far in love and war" was a popint i brought up...well not war, damn geneva convention...on a side note, she wants me to do real estate in illinois..she really hates nancy., she knows some people and is going to call them up for me when she gets back from mertle beach.....
went quick grocery shopping....5 for 10 pizza's and .99 twelve pack coke with $10 purchase, hell yes....
made another trip back to target...my car should have been done by now, so i was killing time in the area....no it's not a new hangout, yet everyone i know from there was sadly enough working, i chatted with jen and her boyfriend in the break room until i decided it was time to go...4
ran around lowell for a good bit of time......now i remember why i don't drive a 2-door...a sports car would be all too fitting for someone like me...i've been doing burnouts, figure 8's, break torques, fishtailing, you name it, with this alero...they gave me a 6 cylinder this time, he he..yeah it has a spoiler and everything, reminds me of jenny, but she was more beast/man like, with her raised front end and such....but yeah, the car is great..as much as i hate it, i like it as well, hmmmm..
to be continued...
A Day Late and a...
well i meant to post this yesterday, but here it is now, out to the public....i'm happy....that's all, just wanted to let you know...it's one of those rare moments when there's a constant smile on my face for no apparent reason...hint to all, take advantage of it now, before it's too late.....
well i meant to post this yesterday, but here it is now, out to the public....i'm happy....that's all, just wanted to let you know...it's one of those rare moments when there's a constant smile on my face for no apparent reason...hint to all, take advantage of it now, before it's too late.....
Monday, September 22, 2003
What I.....
So yeah....not trying to ever pull a barcus, but the anonymous person kinda nailed me....right now I'm not in the position to be making such blanket statements...maybe I didn't clarify everything in the blog for length purposes, but I'm sorry...you know I'd like to dive into this whole thing, but my schedule is crazy and things don't happen around my schedule, I could tweak something somewhere..but yeah, I'd like to learn more about a lot of the religions...heck, when I get a chance the TV is on channel 59 (that's a religious channel, but I forgot the name..), granted they are usually doing a communion, but every now and then I can catch some stuff worth it...
something came up about religion last night at target I forgot to mention before, they were talking about hyles-anderson and other churches, I'm trying to rest, and of course my ears perk and then I'm all awake...something made me reference Jeremiah chapter 17...maibnly it's about not toiling on the Sabbath....and in light of all it this one guy, didn't like him too much just talking out his ass, got not necessarily mad, but something and then asked well what are, an orthodox Jew? Now I'm standing there in amazement, break is over and everyone had been leaving the room, and I was left not knowing what to say, I did say no and threw in some shitty statement to leave him with...I don't know...what was my point...
well with the baptismal thing as I said I just want people to follow something with passion, do it with passion, with a firm belief in it, whatever it may be...if you want to go to heaven and believe in god, well search for a religion and church that's going to be best for you...go all out in everything you do, give it your all..."if there's a job, be it big or small, do it well or not at all" and in order to live a happier life, do the things you enjoy, you're job you should be passionate about coughzachcough, but that doesn't happen often I guess, follow your dreams, whatever...
ok this is where I wrap it up....I don't know much, and I don't preach something unless I know it, as said before the offer is there, anonymous, if you wish to help me with it
p.s. dance dance revolution is not a real dancing game, no, not at all, despite the title....but in order to do alright you do kinda have to bounce and get in the groove with the music, no dance skills required, just some foot-eye coordination, something I know you posses as a soccer player...start slow, the fast songs will kill ya...and everybody sucks on their first several tries..I totally sucked at it when I first played, and hated it, yet their was something there that drew my attention to it....Come on, you remember when you had your DDR buddy icon....
So yeah....not trying to ever pull a barcus, but the anonymous person kinda nailed me....right now I'm not in the position to be making such blanket statements...maybe I didn't clarify everything in the blog for length purposes, but I'm sorry...you know I'd like to dive into this whole thing, but my schedule is crazy and things don't happen around my schedule, I could tweak something somewhere..but yeah, I'd like to learn more about a lot of the religions...heck, when I get a chance the TV is on channel 59 (that's a religious channel, but I forgot the name..), granted they are usually doing a communion, but every now and then I can catch some stuff worth it...
something came up about religion last night at target I forgot to mention before, they were talking about hyles-anderson and other churches, I'm trying to rest, and of course my ears perk and then I'm all awake...something made me reference Jeremiah chapter 17...maibnly it's about not toiling on the Sabbath....and in light of all it this one guy, didn't like him too much just talking out his ass, got not necessarily mad, but something and then asked well what are, an orthodox Jew? Now I'm standing there in amazement, break is over and everyone had been leaving the room, and I was left not knowing what to say, I did say no and threw in some shitty statement to leave him with...I don't know...what was my point...
well with the baptismal thing as I said I just want people to follow something with passion, do it with passion, with a firm belief in it, whatever it may be...if you want to go to heaven and believe in god, well search for a religion and church that's going to be best for you...go all out in everything you do, give it your all..."if there's a job, be it big or small, do it well or not at all" and in order to live a happier life, do the things you enjoy, you're job you should be passionate about coughzachcough, but that doesn't happen often I guess, follow your dreams, whatever...
ok this is where I wrap it up....I don't know much, and I don't preach something unless I know it, as said before the offer is there, anonymous, if you wish to help me with it
p.s. dance dance revolution is not a real dancing game, no, not at all, despite the title....but in order to do alright you do kinda have to bounce and get in the groove with the music, no dance skills required, just some foot-eye coordination, something I know you posses as a soccer player...start slow, the fast songs will kill ya...and everybody sucks on their first several tries..I totally sucked at it when I first played, and hated it, yet their was something there that drew my attention to it....Come on, you remember when you had your DDR buddy icon....
Pain..pain..it Hurts Her...It Hurts the Fuck Machine...
Well if it's one characteristic i posses, it's not learning..but i think that goes along the lines of being strongheaded, damn those rams...anyways last night i worked at target, and agian we got out quasi-early...and because it was the same crew who worked last night working agian, we decided to play some more games of football....
yeah so i'm in pain to begin with, yet i agree to play a couple games, which turned into a lot more than that...we finally left the parking lot at 7.....and agian our last games were very tiring, everybody just giving up, on the last play i just walked away from it all...out of tiredness, disappointment, and the shear fun of it all was torn from us by tim, even his own teammates were getting mad at him....but as for my latest injuries, trying running into a cart return in order to block/intercept a pass...yeah not cool. my knee hit it pretty hard and i probably should've iced it, but now it's hard for me to walk....suprisingly i think i fell once even with the rain, all was good though....except trying to figure out what to do with my soaked clathes at the end of play....
well i have tonight off, same for tomorrow, good thign, i'm really sore and this will give me plenty of time to heal....i bummed around sleeping all day today, not wanting to get up, so tomorrow will be the big run around day....
i want to see a movie, maybe tomorrow, there's a couple i want to see...and speaking of movies, quentin tarrentino has a new movie coming out, Kill Bill....i hope it is as good as all this hype..we haven't heard from the guy since Jackie Brown, which didn't do as well as most would have liked...but it's hard to follow your prize movie pulp fiction winning many awards and the most coveted movie award as well....
i think that ties everything up nicely..just going to rest and call it a day..if something happens, something happens, laid back jason....
Well if it's one characteristic i posses, it's not learning..but i think that goes along the lines of being strongheaded, damn those rams...anyways last night i worked at target, and agian we got out quasi-early...and because it was the same crew who worked last night working agian, we decided to play some more games of football....
yeah so i'm in pain to begin with, yet i agree to play a couple games, which turned into a lot more than that...we finally left the parking lot at 7.....and agian our last games were very tiring, everybody just giving up, on the last play i just walked away from it all...out of tiredness, disappointment, and the shear fun of it all was torn from us by tim, even his own teammates were getting mad at him....but as for my latest injuries, trying running into a cart return in order to block/intercept a pass...yeah not cool. my knee hit it pretty hard and i probably should've iced it, but now it's hard for me to walk....suprisingly i think i fell once even with the rain, all was good though....except trying to figure out what to do with my soaked clathes at the end of play....
well i have tonight off, same for tomorrow, good thign, i'm really sore and this will give me plenty of time to heal....i bummed around sleeping all day today, not wanting to get up, so tomorrow will be the big run around day....
i want to see a movie, maybe tomorrow, there's a couple i want to see...and speaking of movies, quentin tarrentino has a new movie coming out, Kill Bill....i hope it is as good as all this hype..we haven't heard from the guy since Jackie Brown, which didn't do as well as most would have liked...but it's hard to follow your prize movie pulp fiction winning many awards and the most coveted movie award as well....
i think that ties everything up nicely..just going to rest and call it a day..if something happens, something happens, laid back jason....
Sunday, September 21, 2003
Holy Water...
Well this is a wrap-up for Sunday's events....as i stated in the previous blog i was heading out to go to a Baptismal.....yeah let me explain...
well it was Irene's baby (Target co-worker) ...(She's also the sister of Regina from Target)...and as we all know Irene just came back to work from having her baby, and she's mexican and catholic so religion runs deep. Now she's best friends with Anne (ex-overnight Target employee) and therefore made Anne the godparent to the new born...i believe her name is Angelina.....so where do i come in? well being loved by all in the backroom they could never exclude me from an event such as this....another thing that may have swayed their choice is my religious talks on break.....or maybe they just wanted to feed the homeless boy....and i know irene's intentions were for me to meet with Amber, Anne's daughter...but whatever....
so it was a nice little setup....it wasn't a full body ermersion like how i like it, bt rather the sprinkl method used most commonly by the Catholics...i never knew this was such an affair, big ol white dress on the baby, this and that, it was nicely done....
Then afterwards the party was brought over to Anne's house where there was plenty of food and cake and everything....at one point after mingling with the few people i did know there (a couple other target employees were there as well) i kinda crashed on the couch downstairs, only because Anne told me too....of course they pulled a Zach Baiel and took a pic of me while i was sleeping...well kinda sleeping, just resting....
so just as i am about to really clunk out the kids who were playing the PS2 whip out these mats, i hear the beginning music of the game and breifly open my eyes..and to my suprise it was Dance Dance Revolution....i immediatly woke up and got on my feet calling out i had next game...oh my what a blast i had, i was able to do a excellent performance even though i was aching in pain from the football game....they got me on video dancing in circles around my opponents..i think in all 20 games i played i got like only 10 boo's, yeah i rocked..and the other people kept wanting to pick slow songs...it was defiantly great.....
so after i grew too tired to keep going, and seeing other people wanted to play i got off and rested my sweaty ass...only to bring out the guitar by irene's demand...i played and sang fro the baby in the living room, which grew in the crowd, and after i finished i got a round of applause, i was happy.....though irene wanted me to sing for amber, that never happened..shortly after my performance there i grabbed a piece of cake and headed out.....
oh, and i forgot to mention, i influenced someone to get baptised, how great am i? they were talking about how they were having their kids baptised and then they said they had never been...then i told them the shocking truth that if you aren't baptised, you won't be able to go to heaven..pretty intense, we talked it over and in the end their choice was made; they would get baptised on the same day their son would, awwwww....i think what i just did is called soul winning, but who knows.....
well that's all for now, my ass has to go back up to highland now, yup, workling at the bullseye tonight as well...and i'm moving slower than a slug..or is it more sluggish than a snail...who knows..night
Well this is a wrap-up for Sunday's events....as i stated in the previous blog i was heading out to go to a Baptismal.....yeah let me explain...
well it was Irene's baby (Target co-worker) ...(She's also the sister of Regina from Target)...and as we all know Irene just came back to work from having her baby, and she's mexican and catholic so religion runs deep. Now she's best friends with Anne (ex-overnight Target employee) and therefore made Anne the godparent to the new born...i believe her name is Angelina.....so where do i come in? well being loved by all in the backroom they could never exclude me from an event such as this....another thing that may have swayed their choice is my religious talks on break.....or maybe they just wanted to feed the homeless boy....and i know irene's intentions were for me to meet with Amber, Anne's daughter...but whatever....
so it was a nice little setup....it wasn't a full body ermersion like how i like it, bt rather the sprinkl method used most commonly by the Catholics...i never knew this was such an affair, big ol white dress on the baby, this and that, it was nicely done....
Then afterwards the party was brought over to Anne's house where there was plenty of food and cake and everything....at one point after mingling with the few people i did know there (a couple other target employees were there as well) i kinda crashed on the couch downstairs, only because Anne told me too....of course they pulled a Zach Baiel and took a pic of me while i was sleeping...well kinda sleeping, just resting....
so just as i am about to really clunk out the kids who were playing the PS2 whip out these mats, i hear the beginning music of the game and breifly open my eyes..and to my suprise it was Dance Dance Revolution....i immediatly woke up and got on my feet calling out i had next game...oh my what a blast i had, i was able to do a excellent performance even though i was aching in pain from the football game....they got me on video dancing in circles around my opponents..i think in all 20 games i played i got like only 10 boo's, yeah i rocked..and the other people kept wanting to pick slow songs...it was defiantly great.....
so after i grew too tired to keep going, and seeing other people wanted to play i got off and rested my sweaty ass...only to bring out the guitar by irene's demand...i played and sang fro the baby in the living room, which grew in the crowd, and after i finished i got a round of applause, i was happy.....though irene wanted me to sing for amber, that never happened..shortly after my performance there i grabbed a piece of cake and headed out.....
oh, and i forgot to mention, i influenced someone to get baptised, how great am i? they were talking about how they were having their kids baptised and then they said they had never been...then i told them the shocking truth that if you aren't baptised, you won't be able to go to heaven..pretty intense, we talked it over and in the end their choice was made; they would get baptised on the same day their son would, awwwww....i think what i just did is called soul winning, but who knows.....
well that's all for now, my ass has to go back up to highland now, yup, workling at the bullseye tonight as well...and i'm moving slower than a slug..or is it more sluggish than a snail...who knows..night
Any Given Sunday...
So last night was quite an event for myself....i worked at target, hate working Sat nights for lack of hours to be worked....and we got out early, around 3 or before...so there's a group of us outside, i'm doing my usual, looking over my notebook or playing with the guitar, and tim, kiel (yeah, that's how you spell his name), and jose were playing catch with a football...it reminded me of the times we played homerun derby out there.....
so there's me, the...how do you explain...well used to be jock type, now the geeky journal type...so i kinda wanted to play, and after seeing kiel being a dumbass and tim trying to showboat i decided it was time for me to get in there....
we played two on two and it was on hell of a game...early in the game my big ol shoes caused problems, twisting my left ankle, damn boots...so i did like we used to do back in the day, i kicked them off and ran around in my socks, yes on the pavement....the game lasted a lot longer than expected, play up to 3, win by 2...that ddin't exactly happen....and then i started feeling the effects of glass and everything else in my feet...just when my tolerence was almost up i remembered i had a pair of old basketball shoes in the trunk of my car....by then the damage was done, but it helped me out a lot...with or without shoes they said i was still one speedy bitch...
towards the end everybody was really getting tired and basically giving up..hell the game should've ended a lot sooner if we didn't get cocky and then blow our lead, but all was in good fun...when we were through i was utterly exhausted, i don't know how i used to be able to play for hours at end, btu damn, it makes me want to play a lot more....football and basketball, games you need to have nice footwork in order to be good..probably why i like them so much, baseball you can only do so much with, and you're nto in control of the ball in order to score, pretty messed up, soccer i suppose can go in the BB FB category as well....
that's all for now, i've got to go to a water submersing thingy....details ahead...
So last night was quite an event for myself....i worked at target, hate working Sat nights for lack of hours to be worked....and we got out early, around 3 or before...so there's a group of us outside, i'm doing my usual, looking over my notebook or playing with the guitar, and tim, kiel (yeah, that's how you spell his name), and jose were playing catch with a football...it reminded me of the times we played homerun derby out there.....
so there's me, the...how do you explain...well used to be jock type, now the geeky journal type...so i kinda wanted to play, and after seeing kiel being a dumbass and tim trying to showboat i decided it was time for me to get in there....
we played two on two and it was on hell of a game...early in the game my big ol shoes caused problems, twisting my left ankle, damn boots...so i did like we used to do back in the day, i kicked them off and ran around in my socks, yes on the pavement....the game lasted a lot longer than expected, play up to 3, win by 2...that ddin't exactly happen....and then i started feeling the effects of glass and everything else in my feet...just when my tolerence was almost up i remembered i had a pair of old basketball shoes in the trunk of my car....by then the damage was done, but it helped me out a lot...with or without shoes they said i was still one speedy bitch...
towards the end everybody was really getting tired and basically giving up..hell the game should've ended a lot sooner if we didn't get cocky and then blow our lead, but all was in good fun...when we were through i was utterly exhausted, i don't know how i used to be able to play for hours at end, btu damn, it makes me want to play a lot more....football and basketball, games you need to have nice footwork in order to be good..probably why i like them so much, baseball you can only do so much with, and you're nto in control of the ball in order to score, pretty messed up, soccer i suppose can go in the BB FB category as well....
that's all for now, i've got to go to a water submersing thingy....details ahead...
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Hahaha...
alright, i beleive that was necesary......well i wnt into work last night, dispite not being scheduled but asked to come in anyways...i'm getting more and more little funny quotes happening to me each day.....if i only could remember them...
well last night i was kinda being an ass, only when approached, i didn't go out and be an ass, if you can up to me to either joke around or something, then i was an ass...and of course when i smell weakness i keep striking....when finally susan snapped at me and said, "god, i don't see how any person, or better yet, woman, could ever please you...always critiqueing somewhere" yeah that was funny, asw soon as she said that i busted up...yeah i know i expect a lot out of people, but i've been pleased before.....
then earlier yesterday, sitting and holding my guitar my phone rings, had to be 430, i answer knowing who it was...it was the cyclical little lady known to all as racheal bartels...yeah, i was actually tinking to myself the other night that she was about due for a call/email....so we just start talkingh, sghe explains that her phone has been turned off that's why she hasn't called this and that...when all of a sudden, i hear someone in the background and she asks if she can call me back later...and the call, much as i expected, never happened.....and you know me, i can't tell this girl off, i in a sick way loook forward to her timely in-tocuh's, it's kinda like the seasons..there's someone else i know that does that too, but i'm not expecting her call for another4-6 months....
and in light of all this, i've been laughing so much...not really hard laughs that make me hyperventilate, but just good laughs, and lots of them....of course the other half of my laughs have been randomly generated by shock, fear, acceptance, whatever..which is quite a treat to see, i'm working, then all of a sudden i bust out into a loud laugh...
getting long, let's end here......
alright, i beleive that was necesary......well i wnt into work last night, dispite not being scheduled but asked to come in anyways...i'm getting more and more little funny quotes happening to me each day.....if i only could remember them...
well last night i was kinda being an ass, only when approached, i didn't go out and be an ass, if you can up to me to either joke around or something, then i was an ass...and of course when i smell weakness i keep striking....when finally susan snapped at me and said, "god, i don't see how any person, or better yet, woman, could ever please you...always critiqueing somewhere" yeah that was funny, asw soon as she said that i busted up...yeah i know i expect a lot out of people, but i've been pleased before.....
then earlier yesterday, sitting and holding my guitar my phone rings, had to be 430, i answer knowing who it was...it was the cyclical little lady known to all as racheal bartels...yeah, i was actually tinking to myself the other night that she was about due for a call/email....so we just start talkingh, sghe explains that her phone has been turned off that's why she hasn't called this and that...when all of a sudden, i hear someone in the background and she asks if she can call me back later...and the call, much as i expected, never happened.....and you know me, i can't tell this girl off, i in a sick way loook forward to her timely in-tocuh's, it's kinda like the seasons..there's someone else i know that does that too, but i'm not expecting her call for another4-6 months....
and in light of all this, i've been laughing so much...not really hard laughs that make me hyperventilate, but just good laughs, and lots of them....of course the other half of my laughs have been randomly generated by shock, fear, acceptance, whatever..which is quite a treat to see, i'm working, then all of a sudden i bust out into a loud laugh...
getting long, let's end here......
Friday, September 19, 2003
Leather Friday!!!
haha yeah, so it's been a couple days since i'vee updated, oh well...and let me tll you, many a great thing have i forgot to write down that i wanted to blog about.....
how bout this...move over humpday, friday is leather day, sounds kinky don't it...and actually today in the almanac is talk like a pirate day, whatever that means. i know of one person that would get joy from this...
let's see, there's a hat..HAT....HAT, but i made a xanga post out of it....thought of more random quotes, but who knows 'em now..let me try...
girlK'sfriend: I love you
me:...(brief pause cuase i don't know this girl and stumbling over what to say)...well at least someone does
girlK:oh i love you jason
me: well, yeah, i know...*smile*
it'd be funnier if you knew who i was talking about though...
oh, so i got a haircut, my stylist(did i just say stylist???) hair cutter person made a comment about how short it has been compared to most times, yeah....and for the first time ever while getting my haircut, i felt like talking..and though sh doesn't realize what she knows, but i basically told her about my big announcement, and i think some other random person might know as well, ahh who cares really, every day something happens that causes me to not want to say anything....
on that note, i could always go for a public humiliation as a last stand, that'd be goldne and warrent anything further, yeah...
sorry, mind trailing....
so i'll do my best to try and remember things, though i don't know how to change that....but people don't change, they just go through phases, right? and during the big phases they either push everyone away, or the new person causes everyone to turn away...but i'm sure there's always one person that tries to hang on.....in a bigger picture, musicians.....they get popular, get a fan status of the sorts, then they always go through a synthy stage, or something similar, mostly synthy......this would scare away any would be potential fans, maybe lose some others because they don't like the newer music, but the true fans just smile and accept it for what it is..and in a jokingly smile laugh say to themselves...ok this is good, yeah, you've esperimented, now let's have the old guy back.."and chuckles afterwards asd they mutter this under their breathes.. maybe that's just how i feel about it.....
ok this is getting a little long, so i'm going....
haha yeah, so it's been a couple days since i'vee updated, oh well...and let me tll you, many a great thing have i forgot to write down that i wanted to blog about.....
how bout this...move over humpday, friday is leather day, sounds kinky don't it...and actually today in the almanac is talk like a pirate day, whatever that means. i know of one person that would get joy from this...
let's see, there's a hat..HAT....HAT, but i made a xanga post out of it....thought of more random quotes, but who knows 'em now..let me try...
girlK'sfriend: I love you
me:...(brief pause cuase i don't know this girl and stumbling over what to say)...well at least someone does
girlK:oh i love you jason
me: well, yeah, i know...*smile*
it'd be funnier if you knew who i was talking about though...
oh, so i got a haircut, my stylist(did i just say stylist???) hair cutter person made a comment about how short it has been compared to most times, yeah....and for the first time ever while getting my haircut, i felt like talking..and though sh doesn't realize what she knows, but i basically told her about my big announcement, and i think some other random person might know as well, ahh who cares really, every day something happens that causes me to not want to say anything....
on that note, i could always go for a public humiliation as a last stand, that'd be goldne and warrent anything further, yeah...
sorry, mind trailing....
so i'll do my best to try and remember things, though i don't know how to change that....but people don't change, they just go through phases, right? and during the big phases they either push everyone away, or the new person causes everyone to turn away...but i'm sure there's always one person that tries to hang on.....in a bigger picture, musicians.....they get popular, get a fan status of the sorts, then they always go through a synthy stage, or something similar, mostly synthy......this would scare away any would be potential fans, maybe lose some others because they don't like the newer music, but the true fans just smile and accept it for what it is..and in a jokingly smile laugh say to themselves...ok this is good, yeah, you've esperimented, now let's have the old guy back.."and chuckles afterwards asd they mutter this under their breathes.. maybe that's just how i feel about it.....
ok this is getting a little long, so i'm going....
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Realization....
I just came to the conclusion that i write a lot of lengthy shit...i mean if you look on this page you will see several posts that you have to scroll down quite a bit in order to read the entire thing.......so it makes me question, should i break up my thoughts even moreso with multiple posts.....i think everything is setup alright, hell, i'm even using paragraphs...well, any insights? do we like the long posts, are should i keep them short and sweet as to not distract any potential readers......come on, hit me baby...
I just came to the conclusion that i write a lot of lengthy shit...i mean if you look on this page you will see several posts that you have to scroll down quite a bit in order to read the entire thing.......so it makes me question, should i break up my thoughts even moreso with multiple posts.....i think everything is setup alright, hell, i'm even using paragraphs...well, any insights? do we like the long posts, are should i keep them short and sweet as to not distract any potential readers......come on, hit me baby...
Random....
I thought some of these things were pretty funny.....
"you don't drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there..."
and isn't the word STRESSED funny...i mean flip it around and you got desserts...maybe the things that got you down just need to be flipped around themselves....
and then you got; failure isn't a status, but rather an event....and you can always overcome an event....
why is my trunk popped open..brb.....
hmmm, that's all i got for now...the whole trunk thing threw me off, so i'm heading off of this post....and i'll leave you with this..i really would like to get my computer up and running agian, there's soo much stuff on there that i am trying to reference and get and whatnot, well at least i got the internet here, and maybe i'll get my computer up soon enough.....
i like the keyboard downstairs, it makes me think that my fingers are flying all over this thing, ok, that's it...
I thought some of these things were pretty funny.....
"you don't drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there..."
and isn't the word STRESSED funny...i mean flip it around and you got desserts...maybe the things that got you down just need to be flipped around themselves....
and then you got; failure isn't a status, but rather an event....and you can always overcome an event....
why is my trunk popped open..brb.....
hmmm, that's all i got for now...the whole trunk thing threw me off, so i'm heading off of this post....and i'll leave you with this..i really would like to get my computer up and running agian, there's soo much stuff on there that i am trying to reference and get and whatnot, well at least i got the internet here, and maybe i'll get my computer up soon enough.....
i like the keyboard downstairs, it makes me think that my fingers are flying all over this thing, ok, that's it...
Butterfly....
So I'm here at the office, got some hours to spare, just sitting here and all, watched SB over and over, decided to post.....
one thing i did forget to mention from this weekend was the discovery made by Elizabeth. i was singing and playing my guitar for them and she stopped me half way and was like, "ok, sing the melody...you're singing harmony, sing the melody" yeah, so then ince and i played and sang together, and indeed i do sing the harmony...i guess that is good, if i want to sing with someone else...
Talked with zach last night, it was a good time, random calls out of nowhere are always good, right? we talked about starting with our creative ideas and making movies....i hope this goes through, i know we both have crazy schedules, but we really want to do this so i hope the idea does fade away agian...
i found a piece of paper in one of my jackets, and everytime i have pullen it out in the last couple days, i look at the folded thing, say to myself, oh just a piece of paper, then push it back into my pocket......well last night i wanted to see what was on it, had to be in my pocket for some reason.....so after opening it up i quickly realized it was somethign i wrote weeks ago...in fact it was part script, part dialogue of something i was writting....well funny thing is it immediatly reminded me of something someone recently wrote in a posting....kinda funny to see life imitating art in this way right before my eyes...i wonder if i can write/predict some other things.....
work last night was great, well for the most part...as the truck was unloaded me and another person talked about many a thing..starting off with music, then on to cartoons, then TV shows, with just barely hitting movies, well john cusack...i knew more than i thought, and suprisngly they knew what i was talking about for the most part......the funniest thign was when they said, "wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too.." and my eyes lit up and was like, short circuit, and then they got happy because i was the first person they knew of to respond with that answer, which was correct in their mind....ohh good times..
oh, then we get on break, i notice my phone has two missed calls, at 12:59 and 1:02...now there was only one person ever to call me at those times...then it had a 312 area code, as in a calling card number, so in my brief moment of happiness decided to check my voicemail...however it was another female who hadn't been talking to me, my mother....and this is the reason why i hate my family...when i talked to my grandma about the check and monies larry and maryann would be getting back, i stated to her it had to be in one check, which causes a lot of problems....but i told her somethings i would try and do to get it straightened out...well i guess when my grandma told my mom, she stated things wrongly and then i get a call from my mother bitching at me about this and that, how she's not getting any money now or something, and she needs it to go to the doctor....and what did i do..knowing everything is all taken care of, i didn't call my mother, i didn't feel like trying to talk over her, getting into anyting with her, so yeah, i let it be...my grandma actually called me today and i quickly talked to her about it...did get a little impatient about the whole matter, but that was becausemy phone was ringing off the hook today while i was trying to sleep..so everything is fine..in that area...
i still suck at guitar, but what else is new.....
i think that's about all for now, i'm sure i'm forgetting something, i don't know what else to say...
So I'm here at the office, got some hours to spare, just sitting here and all, watched SB over and over, decided to post.....
one thing i did forget to mention from this weekend was the discovery made by Elizabeth. i was singing and playing my guitar for them and she stopped me half way and was like, "ok, sing the melody...you're singing harmony, sing the melody" yeah, so then ince and i played and sang together, and indeed i do sing the harmony...i guess that is good, if i want to sing with someone else...
Talked with zach last night, it was a good time, random calls out of nowhere are always good, right? we talked about starting with our creative ideas and making movies....i hope this goes through, i know we both have crazy schedules, but we really want to do this so i hope the idea does fade away agian...
i found a piece of paper in one of my jackets, and everytime i have pullen it out in the last couple days, i look at the folded thing, say to myself, oh just a piece of paper, then push it back into my pocket......well last night i wanted to see what was on it, had to be in my pocket for some reason.....so after opening it up i quickly realized it was somethign i wrote weeks ago...in fact it was part script, part dialogue of something i was writting....well funny thing is it immediatly reminded me of something someone recently wrote in a posting....kinda funny to see life imitating art in this way right before my eyes...i wonder if i can write/predict some other things.....
work last night was great, well for the most part...as the truck was unloaded me and another person talked about many a thing..starting off with music, then on to cartoons, then TV shows, with just barely hitting movies, well john cusack...i knew more than i thought, and suprisngly they knew what i was talking about for the most part......the funniest thign was when they said, "wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too.." and my eyes lit up and was like, short circuit, and then they got happy because i was the first person they knew of to respond with that answer, which was correct in their mind....ohh good times..
oh, then we get on break, i notice my phone has two missed calls, at 12:59 and 1:02...now there was only one person ever to call me at those times...then it had a 312 area code, as in a calling card number, so in my brief moment of happiness decided to check my voicemail...however it was another female who hadn't been talking to me, my mother....and this is the reason why i hate my family...when i talked to my grandma about the check and monies larry and maryann would be getting back, i stated to her it had to be in one check, which causes a lot of problems....but i told her somethings i would try and do to get it straightened out...well i guess when my grandma told my mom, she stated things wrongly and then i get a call from my mother bitching at me about this and that, how she's not getting any money now or something, and she needs it to go to the doctor....and what did i do..knowing everything is all taken care of, i didn't call my mother, i didn't feel like trying to talk over her, getting into anyting with her, so yeah, i let it be...my grandma actually called me today and i quickly talked to her about it...did get a little impatient about the whole matter, but that was becausemy phone was ringing off the hook today while i was trying to sleep..so everything is fine..in that area...
i still suck at guitar, but what else is new.....
i think that's about all for now, i'm sure i'm forgetting something, i don't know what else to say...
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Vegas Baby Vegas!!!
Hmmmm, do i really want to go to Vegas next year....does anybody want to go with me to Vegas next year.....we would leave the 29th of February and stay for about a week....
let's see..i don't fly, and i don't to fly, and i would need over a grand to go.....seems stupid to me, i'll wait....
where's my drazamine.....
Hmmmm, do i really want to go to Vegas next year....does anybody want to go with me to Vegas next year.....we would leave the 29th of February and stay for about a week....
let's see..i don't fly, and i don't to fly, and i would need over a grand to go.....seems stupid to me, i'll wait....
where's my drazamine.....
Surface Noise is Unavoidable...
So of course i did in fact forget to mention things....whether it be from my damned memory, or caused by the headache from wanting to sleep, either way i still forgot...and since when i remembered i didn't write them down, i still have nothing.....
well, i shortened up the aquarium rant pretty short, probably for the better i'd say...i think the thoughts that went through my head as i lived it were something along the lines of me wanting someone to hold...kinda sad and depressing....
and for my drive, i didn't mention how i thought it was a setback...yeah how rterrible is that, my trip and drive time was a setback, mentally....the drive was so not what i wanted that it caused me to go in the opposite direction...but then i got to thinking...nothing is really a setback, something may put you back in a simliar place/situation, but the path out will defiantly be a different one, and looking around at it for a second time will shed new light onto things..i don't know if i completly stated what i was trying to say, but yeah...just like NO is just a word, you haven't lost anything, you're at the same spot you were before, now you just have to alter strategy or whatever....right?
which brings me to my other topic, as i am experiencing these things, or thoughts go through my head, i think of brilliant statements and sentences to use in my possible future xanga or blog....the only problem is, i'm not readily by a computer when this happens and i am doomed to forget, how sad...
in other news that i forgot to mention, elizabeth made me a butterscotch bread thing...and it was in a ziploc baggie, he he....but i enjoyed it, just have to limit my intake of that....
so i got to thinking tonight...and yeah, these thoughts were controlled so i was ok, for the most part....i thought of some song ideas, lord knows i can't write lyrics though...i got "the snaggletooth blues" played on my elctronic gibson, ahhhh, but mostly i got short story ideas...and of course if it is a short story, i'd want to make it into a movie......well for the lastest work, i can't reproduce rain, not that i know of, so the timing of that movie would be up in the air, litterally.....
i feel as if i can convey more ideas through the medium of video than anything else, and i can get my ideas across a lot better as well...we'll have to see what happens....as for the music video movie...yeah, i'm ready for it, and i got ideas who i want to be the two main characters, pretty shady if you ask me, but hell will break for this one indeed...
oh..and as for my announcment, damn....i was soo anti even mentioning this stupid thing last night, i hated the idea...but after a bit of calming down, i'm back at where i was, i suppose that's good....i'm just afraid of what might kill it off completly....
well that's all for now, got to shower and sleep for a couple........
So of course i did in fact forget to mention things....whether it be from my damned memory, or caused by the headache from wanting to sleep, either way i still forgot...and since when i remembered i didn't write them down, i still have nothing.....
well, i shortened up the aquarium rant pretty short, probably for the better i'd say...i think the thoughts that went through my head as i lived it were something along the lines of me wanting someone to hold...kinda sad and depressing....
and for my drive, i didn't mention how i thought it was a setback...yeah how rterrible is that, my trip and drive time was a setback, mentally....the drive was so not what i wanted that it caused me to go in the opposite direction...but then i got to thinking...nothing is really a setback, something may put you back in a simliar place/situation, but the path out will defiantly be a different one, and looking around at it for a second time will shed new light onto things..i don't know if i completly stated what i was trying to say, but yeah...just like NO is just a word, you haven't lost anything, you're at the same spot you were before, now you just have to alter strategy or whatever....right?
which brings me to my other topic, as i am experiencing these things, or thoughts go through my head, i think of brilliant statements and sentences to use in my possible future xanga or blog....the only problem is, i'm not readily by a computer when this happens and i am doomed to forget, how sad...
in other news that i forgot to mention, elizabeth made me a butterscotch bread thing...and it was in a ziploc baggie, he he....but i enjoyed it, just have to limit my intake of that....
so i got to thinking tonight...and yeah, these thoughts were controlled so i was ok, for the most part....i thought of some song ideas, lord knows i can't write lyrics though...i got "the snaggletooth blues" played on my elctronic gibson, ahhhh, but mostly i got short story ideas...and of course if it is a short story, i'd want to make it into a movie......well for the lastest work, i can't reproduce rain, not that i know of, so the timing of that movie would be up in the air, litterally.....
i feel as if i can convey more ideas through the medium of video than anything else, and i can get my ideas across a lot better as well...we'll have to see what happens....as for the music video movie...yeah, i'm ready for it, and i got ideas who i want to be the two main characters, pretty shady if you ask me, but hell will break for this one indeed...
oh..and as for my announcment, damn....i was soo anti even mentioning this stupid thing last night, i hated the idea...but after a bit of calming down, i'm back at where i was, i suppose that's good....i'm just afraid of what might kill it off completly....
well that's all for now, got to shower and sleep for a couple........
Monday, September 15, 2003
Follow Up....
So now we are at the drive home....this is usually a time for me to reflect upon things....well it wasn't so good...though most drives aren't good to begin with, i think this one didn't settle with me as well...and only music more than half-way through the trip cleared my mind.....
one thought that went through my head was the list of people who have abandoned me in life....beginning with my father, then my mother, though sher would make periodic visits into my life every now and then..until ther final cut, my one and only girlfriend brooke, finances, jobs, and the list can go on.....my grandparents will follow soon enough, only using them now for a mailbox anyways, and i'm sure friends will come and go, they always seem to...
as for other things, i ask myself, why do i deserve this, any of this, what could i possibly have done to make this time so bad, was it somethign i did in a previous life, something i'm gonna do,...if it's for throwing the cat into the lake repeatedly, i'm gonna be mad.....i wanted to see if it could swim, yet i couldn't throw it our far enough each time, yet the cat came back to me every time...i'm not evil.....
Looking at Heather's away message could bring one hope...something along the lines of, if god gave it to me, god can make me through it...somethign likwe that, i can't quote it exactly, she just sigend offline...
on better notes, there is now a BLUE couch in my blue room at the office, hell yes....though i'm getting sick of this place, everytime i walk in here i am reminded for what i did this for, should say for whom, who encouraged me to do so, yeah..moving on, blue couch....
on my little drive to merrillvile, actually coming back on broadway, you know where the two roads merge to become one, yeah well some van tried to race past me, hell no is what i said....then at the next light a green car comes up next to me and tried to do the same thing from the turning lane...at the next light, there's that green car agian, so i look, it's a lady looking at my car, she turns and looks at me and mouths something to me with a smile, somethign like nice car, the light turned green and she turned away, i went straight...made me giggle, a compliment on my car...
in other events, i'm causing waves in the xanga ocean, i knew it would happen, and i pre-appologized for it....at the end of every war there's a few patriots who will fight til the end, giving it their all, throwing rocks, spoons, and whatever they can get their hands on....well in a simliar fashion i did the same thing, maybe a little dirtier of methods as well, but i think it can be justified to some extent, right?
that's all...
So now we are at the drive home....this is usually a time for me to reflect upon things....well it wasn't so good...though most drives aren't good to begin with, i think this one didn't settle with me as well...and only music more than half-way through the trip cleared my mind.....
one thought that went through my head was the list of people who have abandoned me in life....beginning with my father, then my mother, though sher would make periodic visits into my life every now and then..until ther final cut, my one and only girlfriend brooke, finances, jobs, and the list can go on.....my grandparents will follow soon enough, only using them now for a mailbox anyways, and i'm sure friends will come and go, they always seem to...
as for other things, i ask myself, why do i deserve this, any of this, what could i possibly have done to make this time so bad, was it somethign i did in a previous life, something i'm gonna do,...if it's for throwing the cat into the lake repeatedly, i'm gonna be mad.....i wanted to see if it could swim, yet i couldn't throw it our far enough each time, yet the cat came back to me every time...i'm not evil.....
Looking at Heather's away message could bring one hope...something along the lines of, if god gave it to me, god can make me through it...somethign likwe that, i can't quote it exactly, she just sigend offline...
on better notes, there is now a BLUE couch in my blue room at the office, hell yes....though i'm getting sick of this place, everytime i walk in here i am reminded for what i did this for, should say for whom, who encouraged me to do so, yeah..moving on, blue couch....
on my little drive to merrillvile, actually coming back on broadway, you know where the two roads merge to become one, yeah well some van tried to race past me, hell no is what i said....then at the next light a green car comes up next to me and tried to do the same thing from the turning lane...at the next light, there's that green car agian, so i look, it's a lady looking at my car, she turns and looks at me and mouths something to me with a smile, somethign like nice car, the light turned green and she turned away, i went straight...made me giggle, a compliment on my car...
in other events, i'm causing waves in the xanga ocean, i knew it would happen, and i pre-appologized for it....at the end of every war there's a few patriots who will fight til the end, giving it their all, throwing rocks, spoons, and whatever they can get their hands on....well in a simliar fashion i did the same thing, maybe a little dirtier of methods as well, but i think it can be justified to some extent, right?
that's all...
Weekend With the Wagners....
ok, well I'm gonna consider elizabeth a wagner for the sake of whatevers....
so i had a closing on friday at 3....it went rather smoothly too, also brought in a $4,000 commision into the office...probably only going to see $2 of it though, hahaa..anways, from lowell it was off to Terre Haute....
Kinda had a late start, but all was well...when i arrived it was dark, just like before...matter of fact...remember what was going on last time...it was early February if that means anything...yeah, samne problems now as then, kind of funny.....
anyways back to the story...the apartments didn't have the ligfhts turned on, and in the morning i noticed what i drove through, not an actual path, but some randomly scattered pavement with bumps hills and everything else, but i made it ok...getting out of the car logic told me to go right for the stairs, and indeed there they were. after making it to apartment 59 with a warm welcome i was greeted and i handed them a bag of peaches as a house warming gift...
i think the rest of the night we played guitar, i got some food, they showed me vince's apartment and it was a night....
Saturday morning is where it got crazy.....we headed off to the guitar store and i found a pretty blue guitar.....thinking to buy it.....after looking around at all the older guitars we headed off for...Newport, KY....just across the river from Cincinnatti....
Reason for going, to see turtles at the aquarium! the parking garage was a little messed up with it's secret doors and such, but we found our way. this place reminded me of their version of navy pier...and it was nice...
inside the aquarium it was nice...but i was soon reminded why i don't do these things more often...now i hate to even bring this up, but this is just a social gathering for couples, i swear...everywhere you looked, you couldn't see past the two people kissing each other to see the damned fishes...the feeling of lonliness came and went, i think anger grew shortly after.....
but all in all it was good, but for some reason i have been getting very tired really early in the day, no matter how much sleep i have....this plagued me the entire weekend sleeping whenever i got the chance....
we walked around, got a brick to throw, then called it a day, i slept on the way home after eating at some resturant elizabeth liked....upon arriving back at the apartments i crashed on the floor....
sunday came, we ate freshly made square doughnuts, it was crazy..i'll post the pictures of my weekend on my xanga...later we went to the ISU library, ate a pizza that wasn't too filling, and agian i slept...i think i got up to eat a slice of pork for dinner, played guitar for a bit, tried to write lyrics, but slept...
monday, got up early, acrtually, no earlier than what i had been getting up, cleaned up the living room, then woke up the others for breakfast...the eggs were good, after all that was said and done i headed out for lowell...
highlights: vince's picture with the bell that did nothing, getting some home cooked meals, the bates motel, gnats, playing with the stitch stuffed animal at every waking moment...in fact i brought that damn doll with us on the trip, i slept with it and everything, i probably got more use out of it in the past two days then in it's entire life....i know brooke had one, but i never got the chance to play with it...i'm sure i'm forgetting some things, but yeah, that's that...
ok, well I'm gonna consider elizabeth a wagner for the sake of whatevers....
so i had a closing on friday at 3....it went rather smoothly too, also brought in a $4,000 commision into the office...probably only going to see $2 of it though, hahaa..anways, from lowell it was off to Terre Haute....
Kinda had a late start, but all was well...when i arrived it was dark, just like before...matter of fact...remember what was going on last time...it was early February if that means anything...yeah, samne problems now as then, kind of funny.....
anyways back to the story...the apartments didn't have the ligfhts turned on, and in the morning i noticed what i drove through, not an actual path, but some randomly scattered pavement with bumps hills and everything else, but i made it ok...getting out of the car logic told me to go right for the stairs, and indeed there they were. after making it to apartment 59 with a warm welcome i was greeted and i handed them a bag of peaches as a house warming gift...
i think the rest of the night we played guitar, i got some food, they showed me vince's apartment and it was a night....
Saturday morning is where it got crazy.....we headed off to the guitar store and i found a pretty blue guitar.....thinking to buy it.....after looking around at all the older guitars we headed off for...Newport, KY....just across the river from Cincinnatti....
Reason for going, to see turtles at the aquarium! the parking garage was a little messed up with it's secret doors and such, but we found our way. this place reminded me of their version of navy pier...and it was nice...
inside the aquarium it was nice...but i was soon reminded why i don't do these things more often...now i hate to even bring this up, but this is just a social gathering for couples, i swear...everywhere you looked, you couldn't see past the two people kissing each other to see the damned fishes...the feeling of lonliness came and went, i think anger grew shortly after.....
but all in all it was good, but for some reason i have been getting very tired really early in the day, no matter how much sleep i have....this plagued me the entire weekend sleeping whenever i got the chance....
we walked around, got a brick to throw, then called it a day, i slept on the way home after eating at some resturant elizabeth liked....upon arriving back at the apartments i crashed on the floor....
sunday came, we ate freshly made square doughnuts, it was crazy..i'll post the pictures of my weekend on my xanga...later we went to the ISU library, ate a pizza that wasn't too filling, and agian i slept...i think i got up to eat a slice of pork for dinner, played guitar for a bit, tried to write lyrics, but slept...
monday, got up early, acrtually, no earlier than what i had been getting up, cleaned up the living room, then woke up the others for breakfast...the eggs were good, after all that was said and done i headed out for lowell...
highlights: vince's picture with the bell that did nothing, getting some home cooked meals, the bates motel, gnats, playing with the stitch stuffed animal at every waking moment...in fact i brought that damn doll with us on the trip, i slept with it and everything, i probably got more use out of it in the past two days then in it's entire life....i know brooke had one, but i never got the chance to play with it...i'm sure i'm forgetting some things, but yeah, that's that...
Thursday, September 11, 2003
It's 2 a.m......Do You Know Where You're Thoughts Are?
So I think I have figured out this life thing.....yeah I know what you're thinking..why do you think you know the meaning to life...well I know the meaning of life rather....it's actually quite simple, if you try searching, then you're lost..it's one of those yoda things, you got to figure it out on you're own...and if I told you, you would want something more, that's why you have to do it yourself...
but as always I have bad timing....I have so bad of timing I'm surprised my car doesn't backfire..car joke referring to bad timing...whenever i try to do something, it always seems i should have done it sooner, or waited a bit longer...leave too early, should've waited a coupe more minutes...yeah well, maybe one day i'll catch a break..i hope this doesn't effect my music career and make me a beat off...god i could go 12 places with that comment...
i need something, not sure what, but just go with me here, maybe this trip down to Terre Town..haha, not gary...will be the trick, but who knows...maybe i won't return....
So I think I have figured out this life thing.....yeah I know what you're thinking..why do you think you know the meaning to life...well I know the meaning of life rather....it's actually quite simple, if you try searching, then you're lost..it's one of those yoda things, you got to figure it out on you're own...and if I told you, you would want something more, that's why you have to do it yourself...
but as always I have bad timing....I have so bad of timing I'm surprised my car doesn't backfire..car joke referring to bad timing...whenever i try to do something, it always seems i should have done it sooner, or waited a bit longer...leave too early, should've waited a coupe more minutes...yeah well, maybe one day i'll catch a break..i hope this doesn't effect my music career and make me a beat off...god i could go 12 places with that comment...
i need something, not sure what, but just go with me here, maybe this trip down to Terre Town..haha, not gary...will be the trick, but who knows...maybe i won't return....
Silence...
So what's going on....
Well, the Eagles are on tour, coming this way in a little bit...granted they don't have the greatest songs, I would still like to go to their concert..i think for the simple fact that i've only been to one concert in my whole life....
In sports, Sox lost, sad...It would be nice to have the world series here on the south side..and if it happened i would soo be there....though i think my inside connection for Sox tickets died...as did bulls tickets....but it would be a lot cooler to have a cross town classic for the world series...and of course we all know the south siders would win...damn straight.....
The silence is beaing broken in parts of my life, whoopee.....the co-worker from target is becoming a bit more open with me...no more cold looks, but yet we haven't had a full conversation...i guess in part i helped speed it up as well, when she broguht me backstock the other night, i could have gave her a cold look and said but one word, but was a little bit more warm to her....i think this is all for the better, maybe agian she will speak to me some time, if not no big loss, other matters are more important...though it did both me as to why i was getting such a treatment...
in other silence, i had a dream last night..funny how i say night when i really mean day....the part of the dream i remember was dealing with my mother...she was actually there in my dream, not like on the phone or anything, but rather there, ahnd i think she tried to talk to me or something along those lines and i, inturn, just yelled at her and pushed her away...don't know what made me so mad, but something happened, who knows...
and the brook is still frozen, standing still, not moving, i hear nothing come from her, i'd like for it to move again, at least a couple inches every now and then, like it did last week.......
I ate an actual peach last night.. regine gave me one because of my ranting and raving and wouldn't shut up because she had a peahc and plum....i brought in a plum to eat a day later, then she broguht in a peach for me last night.....yeah i know vince loves peaches, but i like touching them..so soft what fuzzy, i couldn't kep my lips nor tongue off of it...i think it's just the sexual aspect i like about it...although an apple still reminds me of gonig down on....
speaking of peaches....in the mall yesterday i went into some store, god only knows the name, and they had a Jones Soda cooler in the store, pretty cool eh? Well on the top shelf in the cooler was a drink called D'Peach Mode...as in DePeche Mode.. oh my dad was that great....for 12 reasons this is good....
For started the play on words is great....peaches are good as well...my lover vince loves peaches......another lover'd loves jones soda....depeche mode was a group in the 70's or so and sang the enjoy the silence.....on my 3rd floor dorm hall in michigan there was a giant depeche mode painting...and of course zak duncan introduced me to jones 3 years ago.....
so my question is, why didn't i pick this up....grrrr, for those reasons i should go back and but some for me and vince....yeah, i lika da jones...ever since the little trip to see bob dylan 3 years ago, duncan showed me what a good drink it was, i was happy.......but of course out of spite and many other things i had to hide my joys for it when i found out some other bastard liked it and leasding it up to my other lover introducing it to me...kinda complex, but nothing fro you to worry about, just didn't want to seem like i liked it out of spite, out of trying to help with conforming to somethign else, good goff that deosn' make sense but to me...
that's all, enjoy..
Enjoy The Silence Lyrics:Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
CanÃt you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence
So what's going on....
Well, the Eagles are on tour, coming this way in a little bit...granted they don't have the greatest songs, I would still like to go to their concert..i think for the simple fact that i've only been to one concert in my whole life....
In sports, Sox lost, sad...It would be nice to have the world series here on the south side..and if it happened i would soo be there....though i think my inside connection for Sox tickets died...as did bulls tickets....but it would be a lot cooler to have a cross town classic for the world series...and of course we all know the south siders would win...damn straight.....
The silence is beaing broken in parts of my life, whoopee.....the co-worker from target is becoming a bit more open with me...no more cold looks, but yet we haven't had a full conversation...i guess in part i helped speed it up as well, when she broguht me backstock the other night, i could have gave her a cold look and said but one word, but was a little bit more warm to her....i think this is all for the better, maybe agian she will speak to me some time, if not no big loss, other matters are more important...though it did both me as to why i was getting such a treatment...
in other silence, i had a dream last night..funny how i say night when i really mean day....the part of the dream i remember was dealing with my mother...she was actually there in my dream, not like on the phone or anything, but rather there, ahnd i think she tried to talk to me or something along those lines and i, inturn, just yelled at her and pushed her away...don't know what made me so mad, but something happened, who knows...
and the brook is still frozen, standing still, not moving, i hear nothing come from her, i'd like for it to move again, at least a couple inches every now and then, like it did last week.......
I ate an actual peach last night.. regine gave me one because of my ranting and raving and wouldn't shut up because she had a peahc and plum....i brought in a plum to eat a day later, then she broguht in a peach for me last night.....yeah i know vince loves peaches, but i like touching them..so soft what fuzzy, i couldn't kep my lips nor tongue off of it...i think it's just the sexual aspect i like about it...although an apple still reminds me of gonig down on....
speaking of peaches....in the mall yesterday i went into some store, god only knows the name, and they had a Jones Soda cooler in the store, pretty cool eh? Well on the top shelf in the cooler was a drink called D'Peach Mode...as in DePeche Mode.. oh my dad was that great....for 12 reasons this is good....
For started the play on words is great....peaches are good as well...my lover vince loves peaches......another lover'd loves jones soda....depeche mode was a group in the 70's or so and sang the enjoy the silence.....on my 3rd floor dorm hall in michigan there was a giant depeche mode painting...and of course zak duncan introduced me to jones 3 years ago.....
so my question is, why didn't i pick this up....grrrr, for those reasons i should go back and but some for me and vince....yeah, i lika da jones...ever since the little trip to see bob dylan 3 years ago, duncan showed me what a good drink it was, i was happy.......but of course out of spite and many other things i had to hide my joys for it when i found out some other bastard liked it and leasding it up to my other lover introducing it to me...kinda complex, but nothing fro you to worry about, just didn't want to seem like i liked it out of spite, out of trying to help with conforming to somethign else, good goff that deosn' make sense but to me...
that's all, enjoy..
Enjoy The Silence Lyrics:Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
CanÃt you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Taking Back Sunday..er..Taking Back Wednesday...I mean, Taking Back My...Nevermind....
So today is today, whopper Wednesday indeed, otherwise known as hump day to some of the sexual perverse.....
I noticed I made like 6 updates yesterday, sorry fro that...They really need some breathalizer test or something so that I don't blog when I'm tired...Type too many random things and whatnot....
Oh..I thought of a pretty cool music video for one off my songs, yeah I'm more talented in the eye pleasing department that the writting...the songs may suck, but I got the videos....so the video I'm writting down how I want it to go, and I will probably use it on my "hubcaps and candybars" song....yeah, don't ask, but it's keeping with the folk writting like Elizabeth suggested...the title itself will make one person's ears perk.....
ummm, couldn't find the "what's up doc" DVD at the mall, they said they would have to order it for me, I'll keep on looking....
you ever have a breakdown moment...like you want soo badly to tell someone how much you love them...like you'd call them up at the very second, despite everything else, and just say I love you....then more than likely hang up...yeah, those feelings suck....
on a lighter note, blogger is improving little by little, I'm liking it.....
so..I'm good...just questioning some things....I have my list, but is that what I want, or just another cop out......damn it all, more delays fro the announcement....
waltz....
So today is today, whopper Wednesday indeed, otherwise known as hump day to some of the sexual perverse.....
I noticed I made like 6 updates yesterday, sorry fro that...They really need some breathalizer test or something so that I don't blog when I'm tired...Type too many random things and whatnot....
Oh..I thought of a pretty cool music video for one off my songs, yeah I'm more talented in the eye pleasing department that the writting...the songs may suck, but I got the videos....so the video I'm writting down how I want it to go, and I will probably use it on my "hubcaps and candybars" song....yeah, don't ask, but it's keeping with the folk writting like Elizabeth suggested...the title itself will make one person's ears perk.....
ummm, couldn't find the "what's up doc" DVD at the mall, they said they would have to order it for me, I'll keep on looking....
you ever have a breakdown moment...like you want soo badly to tell someone how much you love them...like you'd call them up at the very second, despite everything else, and just say I love you....then more than likely hang up...yeah, those feelings suck....
on a lighter note, blogger is improving little by little, I'm liking it.....
so..I'm good...just questioning some things....I have my list, but is that what I want, or just another cop out......damn it all, more delays fro the announcement....
waltz....
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Oh...
Forgot to mention, I'm leaving for this weekend, as earlier stated in a previous blog, but , mentioning it now....elizabeth have vicne call me some time...i will be down this weekend....
i feel i need to be loved right about now, and since there is no love in lowell, or this northwestern area, i'm coming down to where it is...love doesn't come to you, unless you're lucky and give it up or away for something else, so i'm off to see my vince, guitar in tow....
Forgot to mention, I'm leaving for this weekend, as earlier stated in a previous blog, but , mentioning it now....elizabeth have vicne call me some time...i will be down this weekend....
i feel i need to be loved right about now, and since there is no love in lowell, or this northwestern area, i'm coming down to where it is...love doesn't come to you, unless you're lucky and give it up or away for something else, so i'm off to see my vince, guitar in tow....
Alright....
so i noticed the over use of the word whore coming from my mouth and words i type....
like i said earlier today, it's one thing to be a bitch, it's another to be a whore" i forget what i was talking about, beiong really tired makes you say things you don't remember to well.
and of course ya'll know my little game i play adding -lit to the end of words...so whorelet would naturally become harlot, yeah...
least i'm not a man whore...seems to be a popular subject....
i don't know, i'm really tired, it's not out there to offend anyone, hell i don't even know why it's other there, so i'm sorry..
tired, bye
so i noticed the over use of the word whore coming from my mouth and words i type....
like i said earlier today, it's one thing to be a bitch, it's another to be a whore" i forget what i was talking about, beiong really tired makes you say things you don't remember to well.
and of course ya'll know my little game i play adding -lit to the end of words...so whorelet would naturally become harlot, yeah...
least i'm not a man whore...seems to be a popular subject....
i don't know, i'm really tired, it's not out there to offend anyone, hell i don't even know why it's other there, so i'm sorry..
tired, bye
Too Much...
Yeah, so last night i actually got out of Target at a decent hour...made it to a shower and a change of clothes all before 6, actually just at that time because i pulled in the C-21 parking lot ready to leave for our seminar thing....
It was my turn to parade around town like a whore....actually i did make 4 dollars dancing for nancy, you know me and those dares...
so it was a motivational speaker thing, many speakers all telling about how you can do it...and for a spluit second i almost believed them....now i'm not saying i am always looking down on things, or seeing faults everywhere possible, but i'm not that easily manipulated, or brainwashed rather...of course they all did have one re-occuring theme to mention...
but it was fun, it was at the united center, first time i was ever in there, and actually was on floor level, hell yes under the court...it seemed small, but then agian i'm used to ball parks...
i'm really tired not having much sleep today, minutes if any, so i'm going...
Yeah, so last night i actually got out of Target at a decent hour...made it to a shower and a change of clothes all before 6, actually just at that time because i pulled in the C-21 parking lot ready to leave for our seminar thing....
It was my turn to parade around town like a whore....actually i did make 4 dollars dancing for nancy, you know me and those dares...
so it was a motivational speaker thing, many speakers all telling about how you can do it...and for a spluit second i almost believed them....now i'm not saying i am always looking down on things, or seeing faults everywhere possible, but i'm not that easily manipulated, or brainwashed rather...of course they all did have one re-occuring theme to mention...
but it was fun, it was at the united center, first time i was ever in there, and actually was on floor level, hell yes under the court...it seemed small, but then agian i'm used to ball parks...
i'm really tired not having much sleep today, minutes if any, so i'm going...
Monday, September 08, 2003
It's Never Too Late For Caltrate....
Hello, thank you fro tuning in, my name is Jason and I will be bringing you the latest news that has happened in the wee hours you all were sleeping........
As you were just informed moments ago, Jason is indeed crazy, and this little entry here dosn't help...it's all too obvious, ever present, and therefore no longer current news....
Moving into current affairs....I've been shopping at Strack N Van Til a lot more now, Meijer ticked me of not having a wide choice of fruit drinks like limade, and a higher price for when they did...so to my belief a, what i would presume to be a somwhat attrtactive, girl who works there kept eying me as i walked in the store, or left. i started having that feeling i get at miejer when the security guys follow me around, you know what i'm talking about..anyways, she approached me last night saying, "you look familiar" of coruse my natural reaction is to say i'm sorry, then she asks is your name Jason...feeling a little bit of deja voo from last night i say yes. She then says, "are you jason angus, and you worked at alco?" yeah, that's me alright...it turned out to be Lacey, on of Kristin Baker's friends whom i apparantly met at one point. afterwards i also met up with her mother who works there as well....small world indeed....
**Commercial** CaltrateItÃs never too late to start building and maintaining strong bones. Along with a healthy diet and regular exercise, the calcium in CaltrateÆ can help reduce the risk of osteoporosis and may even help reduce the risk of colon polyps.* Make Caltrate part of your Life....
On to a follow up story. A couple weeks ago we ran a story about how Brooke wasn't returning my calls. i inturn, gave her the space she needed, and bid my time, painfully might i add. bring you to the present...well it's saturday night and i'm working, 7 minutes before break is announced and i get a call from brooke...she doesn't leave a message and i'm left wondering should i call hr back or not on break... fearing waking up her roommate or soemthign else, i bit my tongue and called the next day..wherein i actually spoke with her. call it the highlgiht on my day if you will, but we spoke, though briefly it seemed, she left to work on some homework...i told her to call me whenever she has some free time....and now tonight's poll in question is, since the 2+ week ice was broken, do i call her back in a couple days, or do i sit by the phone and let her call me....on to sports
Actually, it was a sad day in the sports world...Bears lost their season opener to the 49'ers...when i saw the final score, i was like, ok, 49 that's the team...what's the scor..oh 49 to 7 is the score..sad..bears haven't had this bad of a start since 74....in other sports news i saw this kick ass game of basketball, it was played with trampolines and thus dubbed slamball, on ESPN or somethign....whatever you do, catch this if you can, even if you aren't a sports fan, you'll like it, i guarantee it...
Now's it's time for stupid quotes by Jason.....just a minute ago I was sitting here while someone used the computer....i grew tired of sitting here waiting and in an act of desperation i actually said, "i'm going go to the batthroom..yeah, I'm bored enough to do that.." plain stupidity...
Let's go to the weather forecast... well you can take today's forecast and duplicate it by four because that's pretty much how it's gonig to be up to thursday. Partly cloudy skies highs in the low 80's, evening's bringing moderatly breezy air and cooler temperatures. But as the weekend approaches we can kiss this nice weather goodbye. high probability of thunderstorms raging through the entire weekend bringing in a cold front, so if you had any plans to go to Terre Haute or Indy, chances are you'll be spending your time indoors. now back to the news..
In a wrapp-up of events, former ALCO employee Kristen Manns' wedding was this weekend, marking the first in my public book to go down with a wedding. Others are on the list as well, thoguh we can scratch one off for a different reason as well. The soon to be newly weds Zak and Escarlen are no longer, in what appears to be a mutual split, they have called off any wedding to be and gone thier seperate ways. Zak can be found back where the love is, living with his parents in that place called home...
Well that's all the time we have today, thank you for joining us, stayed tuned for more updates about stupid pointless things...til next time I'm you're host Jason Angus, and I'll be waiting patiently with the phone in my hand for you to call...you know you want to brighten up my day Brooke....
Hello, thank you fro tuning in, my name is Jason and I will be bringing you the latest news that has happened in the wee hours you all were sleeping........
As you were just informed moments ago, Jason is indeed crazy, and this little entry here dosn't help...it's all too obvious, ever present, and therefore no longer current news....
Moving into current affairs....I've been shopping at Strack N Van Til a lot more now, Meijer ticked me of not having a wide choice of fruit drinks like limade, and a higher price for when they did...so to my belief a, what i would presume to be a somwhat attrtactive, girl who works there kept eying me as i walked in the store, or left. i started having that feeling i get at miejer when the security guys follow me around, you know what i'm talking about..anyways, she approached me last night saying, "you look familiar" of coruse my natural reaction is to say i'm sorry, then she asks is your name Jason...feeling a little bit of deja voo from last night i say yes. She then says, "are you jason angus, and you worked at alco?" yeah, that's me alright...it turned out to be Lacey, on of Kristin Baker's friends whom i apparantly met at one point. afterwards i also met up with her mother who works there as well....small world indeed....
**Commercial** CaltrateItÃs never too late to start building and maintaining strong bones. Along with a healthy diet and regular exercise, the calcium in CaltrateÆ can help reduce the risk of osteoporosis and may even help reduce the risk of colon polyps.* Make Caltrate part of your Life....
On to a follow up story. A couple weeks ago we ran a story about how Brooke wasn't returning my calls. i inturn, gave her the space she needed, and bid my time, painfully might i add. bring you to the present...well it's saturday night and i'm working, 7 minutes before break is announced and i get a call from brooke...she doesn't leave a message and i'm left wondering should i call hr back or not on break... fearing waking up her roommate or soemthign else, i bit my tongue and called the next day..wherein i actually spoke with her. call it the highlgiht on my day if you will, but we spoke, though briefly it seemed, she left to work on some homework...i told her to call me whenever she has some free time....and now tonight's poll in question is, since the 2+ week ice was broken, do i call her back in a couple days, or do i sit by the phone and let her call me....on to sports
Actually, it was a sad day in the sports world...Bears lost their season opener to the 49'ers...when i saw the final score, i was like, ok, 49 that's the team...what's the scor..oh 49 to 7 is the score..sad..bears haven't had this bad of a start since 74....in other sports news i saw this kick ass game of basketball, it was played with trampolines and thus dubbed slamball, on ESPN or somethign....whatever you do, catch this if you can, even if you aren't a sports fan, you'll like it, i guarantee it...
Now's it's time for stupid quotes by Jason.....just a minute ago I was sitting here while someone used the computer....i grew tired of sitting here waiting and in an act of desperation i actually said, "i'm going go to the batthroom..yeah, I'm bored enough to do that.." plain stupidity...
Let's go to the weather forecast... well you can take today's forecast and duplicate it by four because that's pretty much how it's gonig to be up to thursday. Partly cloudy skies highs in the low 80's, evening's bringing moderatly breezy air and cooler temperatures. But as the weekend approaches we can kiss this nice weather goodbye. high probability of thunderstorms raging through the entire weekend bringing in a cold front, so if you had any plans to go to Terre Haute or Indy, chances are you'll be spending your time indoors. now back to the news..
In a wrapp-up of events, former ALCO employee Kristen Manns' wedding was this weekend, marking the first in my public book to go down with a wedding. Others are on the list as well, thoguh we can scratch one off for a different reason as well. The soon to be newly weds Zak and Escarlen are no longer, in what appears to be a mutual split, they have called off any wedding to be and gone thier seperate ways. Zak can be found back where the love is, living with his parents in that place called home...
Well that's all the time we have today, thank you for joining us, stayed tuned for more updates about stupid pointless things...til next time I'm you're host Jason Angus, and I'll be waiting patiently with the phone in my hand for you to call...you know you want to brighten up my day Brooke....
Saddistic, Depresing, WWF Influenced, or just Jason Angus...
So the other night at Target, probably last night, i can't remember really, everythign's a blur..even with all the sleep i have been getting....anyways...people come to work, and they usually bring along some riddle or somethign crazy from the children's homework for us to solve for the kid....
so they ask me the question..."name two occupations that begin with the letters U and K"..maybe one more, but i'll stick with those..
And you know what my first response was, almost immediatly.....Undertaker...yeah, got a strange look for a split second, but thn the person was happy to have an ocupation...thne they ask me for one more....took me a little longer, but then i said, Urologist...
so the first response i would have top say is saddistic, the latter, myself....just a bit of humor for ya'lls
So the other night at Target, probably last night, i can't remember really, everythign's a blur..even with all the sleep i have been getting....anyways...people come to work, and they usually bring along some riddle or somethign crazy from the children's homework for us to solve for the kid....
so they ask me the question..."name two occupations that begin with the letters U and K"..maybe one more, but i'll stick with those..
And you know what my first response was, almost immediatly.....Undertaker...yeah, got a strange look for a split second, but thn the person was happy to have an ocupation...thne they ask me for one more....took me a little longer, but then i said, Urologist...
so the first response i would have top say is saddistic, the latter, myself....just a bit of humor for ya'lls
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Wedding Daze
Yeah, yesterday was eventful....i could go on telling how bad ass everything was, but in all, i don't think anyone would understand my facade of hype....
Kristen's Wedding was yesterday...the reception was the bowling alley...and so when i went over to alco mike suggested we should go on his break, and we did just that. i bought a wedding card, we signed it and headed around the corner. this marks the first time i have ever been in that bowling alley, go figure. didn't make it that far into the actual bowling alley, there's a side room we were rushed into. it was a nice little party, reminded me of any reception i've ever been to...and instantly i was greated by a (had to be drinking) Danielle, Kristen's friend and co-worker from ALCO. she was happy to see me, maybe too happy, but everything was ok. the warm greeting reminded me what freidnds are for, she showed me around, directed me to the food first, m,ade some coomenmts about the husband, made us sign a book, then grabbed the bride for us. afterwards she pulled me aside and whispered to me, "and there's the dance floor, go out, have some fun and dance, plenty of cute single girls down there.." i stayed by tghe food, dropped off the card in a cool little box and the bride came her way...apparently everyone was suprised to see me there, probably because i wasn't directly told about the whole thing. time grew short on us, and i had to take mike back to work for his break was over, and i wasn't going to return alone...plus i had to work at target that night....
and speaking of target....it's always nice to know you're so well known by the general public....i get into work and wendy tells me i have to train some new guy, alright if i must...so i meet him, he seems like a cool guy, i introduce myself being zany as my normal self is, and go through the fubnctions of the LRT with him...after we seperate in our aisles one apart, he quickly comes over to me and says...."you wouldn't happen to be from lowell would you? and of course i say yes. and then he says, "and you name is jason right?" and i'm likie, sure is..and then he says, "are you the jason angus?" in the flesh i respond..of course followed up with a why? he tells me he's gheard stories about me and this and that....apparently he's PETE, debby pioth's pete, well was her pete..and he also knows dan chesner...small world...oh and what's funnier is during break i have him sit with us asnd we're telling about we indirectly know each other, and i'm also debating whether or not to call brooke back, didn't know if she called from her room, if her roommate was there, if it was too late, going back and forth with all the different options...he remarks...hey, now that you mwention it, the name brooke sounds familiar....so apparantly my life story is well known by a large mass of the public..got to love that....
and yes, i didn't add in paragraphs to this post...two ideas, bite me.....
Yeah, yesterday was eventful....i could go on telling how bad ass everything was, but in all, i don't think anyone would understand my facade of hype....
Kristen's Wedding was yesterday...the reception was the bowling alley...and so when i went over to alco mike suggested we should go on his break, and we did just that. i bought a wedding card, we signed it and headed around the corner. this marks the first time i have ever been in that bowling alley, go figure. didn't make it that far into the actual bowling alley, there's a side room we were rushed into. it was a nice little party, reminded me of any reception i've ever been to...and instantly i was greated by a (had to be drinking) Danielle, Kristen's friend and co-worker from ALCO. she was happy to see me, maybe too happy, but everything was ok. the warm greeting reminded me what freidnds are for, she showed me around, directed me to the food first, m,ade some coomenmts about the husband, made us sign a book, then grabbed the bride for us. afterwards she pulled me aside and whispered to me, "and there's the dance floor, go out, have some fun and dance, plenty of cute single girls down there.." i stayed by tghe food, dropped off the card in a cool little box and the bride came her way...apparently everyone was suprised to see me there, probably because i wasn't directly told about the whole thing. time grew short on us, and i had to take mike back to work for his break was over, and i wasn't going to return alone...plus i had to work at target that night....
and speaking of target....it's always nice to know you're so well known by the general public....i get into work and wendy tells me i have to train some new guy, alright if i must...so i meet him, he seems like a cool guy, i introduce myself being zany as my normal self is, and go through the fubnctions of the LRT with him...after we seperate in our aisles one apart, he quickly comes over to me and says...."you wouldn't happen to be from lowell would you? and of course i say yes. and then he says, "and you name is jason right?" and i'm likie, sure is..and then he says, "are you the jason angus?" in the flesh i respond..of course followed up with a why? he tells me he's gheard stories about me and this and that....apparently he's PETE, debby pioth's pete, well was her pete..and he also knows dan chesner...small world...oh and what's funnier is during break i have him sit with us asnd we're telling about we indirectly know each other, and i'm also debating whether or not to call brooke back, didn't know if she called from her room, if her roommate was there, if it was too late, going back and forth with all the different options...he remarks...hey, now that you mwention it, the name brooke sounds familiar....so apparantly my life story is well known by a large mass of the public..got to love that....
and yes, i didn't add in paragraphs to this post...two ideas, bite me.....
Friday, September 05, 2003
Hapiness....
No, not the movie, sorry Zach, but maybe i'll actually get to watch it one day....
today's Friday, i have the day off from target, yay...i want to be productive today, do thigns, go out, go up north, haven't been to the mall in ages..though i suppose i'll be up there wednesday, but still, best buy, something...
oh i know what, i'll straighten out the fret board to my/vince's guitar, get it re-strung, i think he wouldn't mind that...unless i strung it for a left handed person like i want to....
Not too much gonig on, but for some reason i'm in an overall acceptance mood, though this is still disturbing no matter how you look at it....
ohhh...i'm a gambling man now, yeah, after watching many a hour of ther poker tourney's, we've started playing...i won last night's pot, $5, yeah i rock....but tonight there will be more people, and therefore the pot will be bigger....great time to chat, smoke cigars, drink a little something something, and have a good time...i feel like i'm in my mid 30's....wish me luck...
working on my speach for my press announcement, it'll be good, just give me some time...
you know, if i restring the guitar to be left handed, i would have to buy a right handed guitar to compansate if i sucked at lefty, hmmmm.....
techno makes the world taste better...i mean makes me happier...and glowing light sticks are cool....
the weather's getting cooler, time to wear my jackets, hell yes, never been so excited before, don't ask me why either...i'm so gonig to be wearing the brown leather jacket which nobody likes, yeah, and play guitar.....
you know, my life is becoming more and more sterotypical of some bum homeless person, the guitar, the gambling, the homelessness.... i'm so writting a book, i think i have the time for that right, just need to get some mindy's ( I think that's what they are called) to further the persona of bobby D....
well that was pretty long and i didn't have anything to say, well i suppose i did if it was this long, oh well, going now....
No, not the movie, sorry Zach, but maybe i'll actually get to watch it one day....
today's Friday, i have the day off from target, yay...i want to be productive today, do thigns, go out, go up north, haven't been to the mall in ages..though i suppose i'll be up there wednesday, but still, best buy, something...
oh i know what, i'll straighten out the fret board to my/vince's guitar, get it re-strung, i think he wouldn't mind that...unless i strung it for a left handed person like i want to....
Not too much gonig on, but for some reason i'm in an overall acceptance mood, though this is still disturbing no matter how you look at it....
ohhh...i'm a gambling man now, yeah, after watching many a hour of ther poker tourney's, we've started playing...i won last night's pot, $5, yeah i rock....but tonight there will be more people, and therefore the pot will be bigger....great time to chat, smoke cigars, drink a little something something, and have a good time...i feel like i'm in my mid 30's....wish me luck...
working on my speach for my press announcement, it'll be good, just give me some time...
you know, if i restring the guitar to be left handed, i would have to buy a right handed guitar to compansate if i sucked at lefty, hmmmm.....
techno makes the world taste better...i mean makes me happier...and glowing light sticks are cool....
the weather's getting cooler, time to wear my jackets, hell yes, never been so excited before, don't ask me why either...i'm so gonig to be wearing the brown leather jacket which nobody likes, yeah, and play guitar.....
you know, my life is becoming more and more sterotypical of some bum homeless person, the guitar, the gambling, the homelessness.... i'm so writting a book, i think i have the time for that right, just need to get some mindy's ( I think that's what they are called) to further the persona of bobby D....
well that was pretty long and i didn't have anything to say, well i suppose i did if it was this long, oh well, going now....
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Here....
So I'm here, doing good doing good...work was work, enjoyable...i really don't have much to say....maybe a couple things....
This Red Cavalier guy is sprouting around the web...well on xangas that is....i think he made his first appearance on my Xanga with a comment on a bumper sticker a red cavalier had on it....and now he's harassing other people as well, well the coment towards me wasn't harassing but still....he derived the name from the damn pic....so i know the person must know me, and therefore reads this as well, so if you do, make a comment on here....we're wondering who you really are...
moving on....
Zach, I am calling upon you for some help on a little project, it'll be fun, and i'm sure you'll get a kick out of it too....so iof you're interested, leave a coment or call me.....
funny how there used to be only one person who called me after 10pm.....then came in asian tony.....but now, two totally different people are taking that spot.....damn, why must i be the protector...
well that's all for now....working on my public announcement, sticking with the origianl idea, as is well
So I'm here, doing good doing good...work was work, enjoyable...i really don't have much to say....maybe a couple things....
This Red Cavalier guy is sprouting around the web...well on xangas that is....i think he made his first appearance on my Xanga with a comment on a bumper sticker a red cavalier had on it....and now he's harassing other people as well, well the coment towards me wasn't harassing but still....he derived the name from the damn pic....so i know the person must know me, and therefore reads this as well, so if you do, make a comment on here....we're wondering who you really are...
moving on....
Zach, I am calling upon you for some help on a little project, it'll be fun, and i'm sure you'll get a kick out of it too....so iof you're interested, leave a coment or call me.....
funny how there used to be only one person who called me after 10pm.....then came in asian tony.....but now, two totally different people are taking that spot.....damn, why must i be the protector...
well that's all for now....working on my public announcement, sticking with the origianl idea, as is well
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Well...
I was going to tell you that I was actually having a good day, i know i've been dragging this depressed thing into the ground...but overall i say topday was good, nothing bad happened, thoguh i can't recall anything great happening, it was just there, minus bad stuff. laqst night was alright, i don't if i didn't let things bother me, or what the deal was....i know i went through the 5 steps of whatever, denial, acceptance, this and that about 100 times, funny shit. it\s whopper wednesday and i'm good....well i was, of course i always have to have something knock me back to reality...it's funny how one little thign, one word, or rather a grouping in a sentence can slam you to a halt, like hitting i brick mailbox doing 70 in your car, you stop dead in your tracks. your heart falls to the pic of your stopmache, beatting every now and then and with such a force it makes you jolt as well. you won't die from this, oh no, you'll suffer some more...all the while the brick structure is fine, standing tall, mocking you..
there will be a public announcement made by me.....though i think i am going to scrap the original speach......
I was going to tell you that I was actually having a good day, i know i've been dragging this depressed thing into the ground...but overall i say topday was good, nothing bad happened, thoguh i can't recall anything great happening, it was just there, minus bad stuff. laqst night was alright, i don't if i didn't let things bother me, or what the deal was....i know i went through the 5 steps of whatever, denial, acceptance, this and that about 100 times, funny shit. it\s whopper wednesday and i'm good....well i was, of course i always have to have something knock me back to reality...it's funny how one little thign, one word, or rather a grouping in a sentence can slam you to a halt, like hitting i brick mailbox doing 70 in your car, you stop dead in your tracks. your heart falls to the pic of your stopmache, beatting every now and then and with such a force it makes you jolt as well. you won't die from this, oh no, you'll suffer some more...all the while the brick structure is fine, standing tall, mocking you..
there will be a public announcement made by me.....though i think i am going to scrap the original speach......
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
Like a Bird, On a Wire...
So another incident wherein my vehicle is the result of an animal killing....this happened yesterday, in the same area it always happens, actually the same road i killed the first bunny..
i just dropped of Fischer's keys at Brooke's, she wasn't there, so i have yet to see her, even though she said she would see me on labor day weekend...ahemcoughcough...so i'm driving, talking to myself or listening to music, when all off a sudden this bird comes flying up out of the grass and kinda angled for me. well it hit the corner of my windsheild pretty hard and flopped to the ground. you know me, naturally i braked, threw the car in park, parking at a funny angle, turned on tghe hazards and went running down the road towards the fallen bird. i got to it and the birtd was still alive, though not moving, just breathing and opening it's eyes every now and then. i tried to see if by getting close to it would make it move away, it didn't.
several cars passed by me, but i stood in the middle of the raod not allowing for the bird to get hit...i didn't want it to die like that...so i made a dash sprint back to my car where i popped the trunk to get somethign to move the bird out of the way...frisbees and a towel. when i got back a car drove by me and stopped...it was an elderly couple and asked if i was alright, i told them the story and they asked if they could do anything, i told them i had everything under control. they drove away and i began to pick up the bird...
as i am picking the bird up with the frisbees and towel, he\s not moving anynmore....i doubt it was the fear of me that made him not move, he was dying, or did die...so quickly i picked him up and brought him to the side of the raod in the grass...i laid him on his back as i put him down...and as i did this i told him why, it was to give him one last look at the sky before he died. i stood before the bird, had my moment of silence, then walked back to my car. no other cars phased me as they passed,, i had entered my own little world, almost horrific ending, walking back to a car parked on the side of the road, trunk open, hazards flashingm, long extended blinking of the eyes corresponding with the flashing lights, hearing nothing but the beating of your heart, the fall of your footsteps, only intensified by the pounding of bass coming from the techno music within the car. why does my life feel like i'm the bird...
So another incident wherein my vehicle is the result of an animal killing....this happened yesterday, in the same area it always happens, actually the same road i killed the first bunny..
i just dropped of Fischer's keys at Brooke's, she wasn't there, so i have yet to see her, even though she said she would see me on labor day weekend...ahemcoughcough...so i'm driving, talking to myself or listening to music, when all off a sudden this bird comes flying up out of the grass and kinda angled for me. well it hit the corner of my windsheild pretty hard and flopped to the ground. you know me, naturally i braked, threw the car in park, parking at a funny angle, turned on tghe hazards and went running down the road towards the fallen bird. i got to it and the birtd was still alive, though not moving, just breathing and opening it's eyes every now and then. i tried to see if by getting close to it would make it move away, it didn't.
several cars passed by me, but i stood in the middle of the raod not allowing for the bird to get hit...i didn't want it to die like that...so i made a dash sprint back to my car where i popped the trunk to get somethign to move the bird out of the way...frisbees and a towel. when i got back a car drove by me and stopped...it was an elderly couple and asked if i was alright, i told them the story and they asked if they could do anything, i told them i had everything under control. they drove away and i began to pick up the bird...
as i am picking the bird up with the frisbees and towel, he\s not moving anynmore....i doubt it was the fear of me that made him not move, he was dying, or did die...so quickly i picked him up and brought him to the side of the raod in the grass...i laid him on his back as i put him down...and as i did this i told him why, it was to give him one last look at the sky before he died. i stood before the bird, had my moment of silence, then walked back to my car. no other cars phased me as they passed,, i had entered my own little world, almost horrific ending, walking back to a car parked on the side of the road, trunk open, hazards flashingm, long extended blinking of the eyes corresponding with the flashing lights, hearing nothing but the beating of your heart, the fall of your footsteps, only intensified by the pounding of bass coming from the techno music within the car. why does my life feel like i'm the bird...
"You seem like a nice guy..but here's a little bit of advice....."
So, ever hate it when people just know something is wrong wtih you? Well I've been getting that more and more often, well basically the past week or so. I'm not acting any different than normal, working steady, if not harder, doing my thing, not moping around or slacking, but i'm kinda keeping to myself as well. i guess one draw back is somethign does have to get messed up, work hard, keep to self, or work slowly yet kinda are still yourself, whatever.
so people have been noticing, and asking what's up. is something wrong, did i make you mad, this and that, people are concerned i guess, apparently i have to always be the life of the party for the backroom, can't just work hard and be quiet. so they know something's up, but can't erally put their finger on it, and i just go about my business as if everything's fine....
For break today, instead of sitting in the normal training room, i took my all my stuff and went in the corner of TSC where nobody could find me. one thing i thought was funny was it didn't take but a couple minutes for people to see the guitar was gone and start looking for me...yeah people who actually cared went to find me when i wasn't in the normal place, unlike some inhumane fucks i know..grrr..sorry...and another funny thing with that is more than half of those people are in the training room because of me, i know that may sound arrogant, but it's the truth, let me explain....
we always used to sit out at food avenue, then when we had food events we would go to the training room. well it kept on flip flopping every day wehere we would sit, so i finally got tired of moving around, like talking with the normal two people who sat in the training room, and lowe and behold, those who used to sit with me at food avenue, now only sit in the training room. i think we have 15+ people there on average a night, that's a good chunk, especially for that room.
even after break, my back room team lead started taslking to me as we threw up boxes, asking me where i went, iof everything was ok, this and that...then she goes, "you know you're the only reason why i started sitting in there to begin with" somethign along those lines...but it's true, you started debating, talking, voicing opinions on this and that, and it draws a crowd..people litteraly come to sit just for the expirience..../and now that i got a guitar, they want a concert every night, though those unapreciative F's don't like the music i like...
but from aside all that, i do my thing..no big deal...i mean it's killing me inside, and only some can see that come out in me....as for the silence treatment, still receiving it from everyone listed before...my mother i could care less about, she'll come around if she does, i made an effort at the time of silence, then she took off, i movce on....as for the coworker, i made the last effort for contact, after she took off one night, i called the cell so maybe she would be able to voice an opinion in a more private surrounding like on the cell phone, she didn't answer, nor replied back to the voicemail..so everything is justified in my mind and i will now play this thrid grader game of silence treatment, both with my mom and the coworker, whom i really don't have to work with....but i will not play the game with brooke...i'm sorry but we are past this, w should be able to talk to one another, or give a final statement, anything...
how do you think i feel to find out that she is in town for the weekend, from her sister...and not getting a phone call saying sh's in town, or a suprise visit..adn when you call her, it sounds like she's mad at you for doing so, and says she has to go, and just repeats that over and over, then finally says goodbye and hangs up. i don't efven know if i did something wrong, she won't even tell me let alone talk to me. she spent more than 72 hours here in lowell, only minutes away from me..and she avoided me at all costs...
so when somebody says, give them space, or give her space, or somethign along those lines, what the hell does that mean? what, stop trying to figure out why the person won't talk to you, is mad at you, whatever, so that it is easier to forget about you and move on to someone else..wow, that was a lot of venting right there..once agian my pre-appologies are conming up right now, and now's time for the present appologies..and we're good..
i'm sorry, i'm just so confused and lost and...and...my november's closing in on me agian....
So, ever hate it when people just know something is wrong wtih you? Well I've been getting that more and more often, well basically the past week or so. I'm not acting any different than normal, working steady, if not harder, doing my thing, not moping around or slacking, but i'm kinda keeping to myself as well. i guess one draw back is somethign does have to get messed up, work hard, keep to self, or work slowly yet kinda are still yourself, whatever.
so people have been noticing, and asking what's up. is something wrong, did i make you mad, this and that, people are concerned i guess, apparently i have to always be the life of the party for the backroom, can't just work hard and be quiet. so they know something's up, but can't erally put their finger on it, and i just go about my business as if everything's fine....
For break today, instead of sitting in the normal training room, i took my all my stuff and went in the corner of TSC where nobody could find me. one thing i thought was funny was it didn't take but a couple minutes for people to see the guitar was gone and start looking for me...yeah people who actually cared went to find me when i wasn't in the normal place, unlike some inhumane fucks i know..grrr..sorry...and another funny thing with that is more than half of those people are in the training room because of me, i know that may sound arrogant, but it's the truth, let me explain....
we always used to sit out at food avenue, then when we had food events we would go to the training room. well it kept on flip flopping every day wehere we would sit, so i finally got tired of moving around, like talking with the normal two people who sat in the training room, and lowe and behold, those who used to sit with me at food avenue, now only sit in the training room. i think we have 15+ people there on average a night, that's a good chunk, especially for that room.
even after break, my back room team lead started taslking to me as we threw up boxes, asking me where i went, iof everything was ok, this and that...then she goes, "you know you're the only reason why i started sitting in there to begin with" somethign along those lines...but it's true, you started debating, talking, voicing opinions on this and that, and it draws a crowd..people litteraly come to sit just for the expirience..../and now that i got a guitar, they want a concert every night, though those unapreciative F's don't like the music i like...
but from aside all that, i do my thing..no big deal...i mean it's killing me inside, and only some can see that come out in me....as for the silence treatment, still receiving it from everyone listed before...my mother i could care less about, she'll come around if she does, i made an effort at the time of silence, then she took off, i movce on....as for the coworker, i made the last effort for contact, after she took off one night, i called the cell so maybe she would be able to voice an opinion in a more private surrounding like on the cell phone, she didn't answer, nor replied back to the voicemail..so everything is justified in my mind and i will now play this thrid grader game of silence treatment, both with my mom and the coworker, whom i really don't have to work with....but i will not play the game with brooke...i'm sorry but we are past this, w should be able to talk to one another, or give a final statement, anything...
how do you think i feel to find out that she is in town for the weekend, from her sister...and not getting a phone call saying sh's in town, or a suprise visit..adn when you call her, it sounds like she's mad at you for doing so, and says she has to go, and just repeats that over and over, then finally says goodbye and hangs up. i don't efven know if i did something wrong, she won't even tell me let alone talk to me. she spent more than 72 hours here in lowell, only minutes away from me..and she avoided me at all costs...
so when somebody says, give them space, or give her space, or somethign along those lines, what the hell does that mean? what, stop trying to figure out why the person won't talk to you, is mad at you, whatever, so that it is easier to forget about you and move on to someone else..wow, that was a lot of venting right there..once agian my pre-appologies are conming up right now, and now's time for the present appologies..and we're good..
i'm sorry, i'm just so confused and lost and...and...my november's closing in on me agian....
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