I Guess I'll Never Understand

It's funny how while on my way to taking the trash to the dumpster i'd come across another soul in distress. Walking by a girl sitting on the curb, burying her head while holding a phone I can barely make out the conversation over the sobs with every breath she takes. There's anger in her voice..she always feels let down..she's a whirlwind of emotions and I fear that my scene will be coming up in the next twenty minutes.

it's a scene that occurs all too often, no matter where i've gone certain results are always the same. I've learned that if you see someone stationary and it looks like they are holding a phone, leave them alone…the conversation going on is not one you'd want to interrupt. It's weird but it's true, when people break down, they'll come to a stop in order to do so. Occasionally you'll get the person who is so in rage with whatever is going on via the tele that they stand up, shout, and use gestures…always with the gestures, mainly pointing…what they are pointing at or whom i still don't know - of course those are extreme cases, and it's usually fueled by anger rather than sorrow..because when your world collapses, so do your legs.

I'm back in my room before i know it - angry i accidentally napped, restless now that i did, trying to find food not really because i'm hungry but because i'm dreading a phone call. There aren't many times in life i've ever been speechless..i always have something to say - granted probability points to me saying something assholey, it's not always the case - but right now i feel as if i'm running out of things to say, only because at the fear of becoming a broken record, i've said them all before. even as i sit here in front of my computer, i'm left with nothing to type…guess it's not that important.

***unfinished***

Best Worst Day Ever

yesterday..
was a mind fuck

and it all started with my button coming undone

Saturday was one of those days…on of those days you want to tell everyone about..you rush to call/text/find any of your friends..and when you finally get a hold of one..you don't even know where to begin..you try to start rambling, but it doesn't make an sense, less sense than normal that is - and that in itself is a feat. After all was said and done, when I finally given up rather i didn't know whether to go for a walk to clear my mind or to lock myself up away from everyone so the weird shit would stop happening…yeah, saturday was that day.

my first weekend with having a roommate - yes, still angry about it - so i wake up to him rustling around, turning the TV on, and watching a DVD..it's not until the final thirty or so minutes I actually wake up and start watching it too. The movie ends and it couldn't have done so at a more perfect time, i look at the clock and see that i still have twenty minutes before the chow hall closes - amazing because last weekend i somehow managed to make it to the chow hall only once..and that was for dinner, definitely not brunch. I hop down from my bed and start to gather my clothes i carelessly threw under last night. Shirt on, hood on, shorts o-..wait..my first snag of the day…this should have been the indicator that i was in for a crazy day. the button popped off and went clear across the room - no i'm not a fatty, it id't bust when i tried to get it on like that…it just popped when i went to grab ahold of it….should have saw this coming though, i did just cut a super long IP from it the night prior….

Adapt and overcome right? So i zip up the shorts and throw on a belt, making sure it's nice and snug - who needs a button anyways?! So i gather myself, continue getting dressed, and head across the street…I'm excited that i actually made it to the chow hall before they closed on the weekend and overlook my missing button as i sit down with my food, soon realizing i'm still not fully awake..

it's the weekend so i do my weekend ritual of walking down to the NEX's food court to steal some wifi - the internet provided there is the best i've had in several months, so i make it a point to go only on the weekends to pay bills, make updates, surf, chat, whatever….it's with this unprecedented speed that i'm capable to do things that i typically cannot do during the week with the internet provided at the lounge across from the barracks. It's with that freedom, coupled with time to kill, and a conversation i had just this past week that would soon provide the mind fucking i wasn't ready for…

but let's step back for a second…upon walking into the food court i run into one of my sergeants…i do not know how to act when i come across these guys when it's "after hours" i think i may have said hey man, or something along those lines…it's tricky because..i'm in civvies..he's in civvies..we are at a food court..of course i recollect myself and properly call him sergeant as we depart..but i always seem to have this problem

i ordered subway, but it was just to get the drink - i know that sounds backwards, but subway is the only establishment in the food court that has fountain beverage service..so if i am going to sit there for some time, i might as well have the option to get refills! And i know you're thinking, why not just get the drink? Well, it you make it a meal, it comes with cookies and a sandwich! which i know i will eat later at some point…in fact i used that (now) classic line to someone in line later as i was getting said refill - lady behind the counter asked, "would you like to make it a meal", and i blurted out, "oh do it, it comes with a sandwich!"


***unfinished***

O.T.F.

One..
Time..

Fuuuuuck

Not DTF or DTET or DTDT or any other jazz, but OTF…if that's not a phrase, well it is now..that's right, you heard it here first, OTF, One Time Fuck. This, basically in a nutshell, is applicable to such females that are only good for one single event of sex. Now, in my defense I am unaware if such a thing exists in the female community directed towards males, so I will continue with my single-sidedness.

The One Time Fuck. It's really a difficult matter to discuss because it in itself is such a simple idea…basically there are the girls you marry and the girls you fuck..and as a sub-category for the latter, the girls that are only good for one fucking.

These are the girls that in someway intrigue the male species, the ones that maybe aren't their type…they consist of the extremists in most cases - i know you're lost, let me explain.

My friend and I were out in the hipster part of town and decided to dine at a local pizzeria. Our waitress fit the mold of the clientele who would actually take claim as being a resident of that area. She had the tattoos up the arm, the piercings, dark framed glasses, hand me down clothes, and whatever else she could afford from Urban Outfitters to be seen (scene). She wasn't sexy by any means, but she was probably the best looking female in a fifty foot radius and so something was compelling about her..she was different…this was noted by both myself and my dining companion.

"Damn, she's sexy..I'd pee in her butt," and it was with this statement from my friend that made me see the woes of our ways..we were duped into wanting to have sex with this creature. Right then and there I created the title's phrase, "NO, she's only good for a one time fuck", and I continued to explain. You see, you'd have sex with her, it'd be whatever, but when morning came, and she pulled back the doors to her closet it'd reveal a lot more than just clothes…well, actually, just clothes..but her entire wardrobe would look like she skinned a 70's couch..and that little outfit that you thought was so sexy the day prior would just be replicated again in order to create the character she has been playing…

This is not someone you could continue dating…her colored hair you thought that was 'sticking it to the man' and all of her other little rebellious ways would soon grow old as you wanted her to grow the fuck up…being a scenester is only fun until you realize the bills need to get paid and you need to get a real job…but this bitch's warped sense of reality would only prevent you from wanting you to take her out in public, taking her to your parents..and essentially, continue seeing.

I went social deviant route, but it works for all OTFs…the really hot blonde at the beach - if she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend who's out in the water surfing, she's gonna cheat on you too..or the girl you meet while waiting in line who ends up being really fucking dumb..or the girl in the coffee shop who is just a complete bitch..or the girl at the concert who's a druggie..and let's not even get into the "bar girls"..these types of broads only warrant a one time dicking..enough for you to fulfill your sick and twisted fantasy, and then realize the horrible truth.

And that's exactly what it is, some sick fantasy. Guys want to bang "that chick" - and that chick is any chick at that random point..from the sexy cheerleader to the dominating hardcore slut…ohh, click, now you're catching on. These women are not the women we wished to be with, but because of sick libidos we want to fulfill random urges and therefore we are drawn to them..they aren't sexy, they aren't anything special..they are just random pokemon and we are in the pursuit to catch them all.

This is why we ask our women to role play, to fulfill these urges so outside forces aren't so tempting. And for those women who blatantly refuse to go along with the role playing it's as if you are telling your man to sleep with another woman.

It works both ways i'm certain! If my girl were to ask me to dress up as a cowboy and shag her rotten, you god damn right I would…you know why, because I wouldn't want her going out shopping at the grocery store, running into a guy in a 10 gallon hat with snakeskin boots and all of a sudden getting her pants wet about it. You have to nip that shit in the butt.

Now of course I'm not saying that everyone in a relationship is going to cheat on their significant other because they saw a firefighter or librarian…but those urges are there..and people need to be aware of that..and if you really loved your lover, why wouldn't you want to please them so their minds don't wander.

So, I'm not blaming any one person for causing this, I'm just here to spread the good word, making people aware of such randomcies in life. And yes, this was a blog about the direct correlation to erratic urges of people you randomly see out in public and role playing in the bedroom.

Soooo, who wants to play Civil War Hospital reenactment…i'll be the amputee victim...






"Hi, your personality and presentation of self is nothing i would ever want out of a partner, and frankly I find your existence to be quite annoying - whatever character you've created and decided to live everyday as is a triumph against all normalcies in life and i can only hope and pray one day you wake the fuck up, however that being said it compels me enough to want my dick inside of you just once..i cannot explain as to why, maybe it's my self-expressive or rebellious side peaking out, me being completely absent minded going against the grain, but i know for certain come tomorrow i'll never want anything to actually do with you again"

Why I hate The..

oh crap, can't say it..
but you know..

that Service thing I'm doing…yeah…that thing

So I hate the Corps because it's like being a Jew, an Orthodox Jew to be correct….though I'm not really how correct of an analogy this really is, it was the first thing that popped into my head..but let me continue. So as stupid it is to be a Jew, it's as equally stupid to be a Marine. So for those of you who don't know, the Orthodox Jews are the ones that celebrate Sabbot, or the Sabbath…basically that small period of time in the week where you have these "rules" and "guidelines" you need to follow in order to be a good Jew or do god's will or some crap. During this time, from the sunset on Friday to sunrise on Sunday, this group of people are forbade from doing such random tasks as turning a light switch on…and the list goes from the complete idiotic as dialing a phone, to using money, to traveling or working…what really gets me is that idiotic spectrum…the "no turning on lights" or "writing down something with a pen" or "dialing a cellphone"….if you ask a Jew why, they tell you it's because you're not supposed to be working or worrying about things, you're just supposed to relax. Well I on't know about you, but with so many ridiculous rules in place I'd be constantly worrying that I was breaking one of them…"oh shit, i just sneezed, can i do that?"

The Corps has equally as stupid of rules…especially when it comes to the uniforms..sweet jesus. While being in uniform is like partaking in Sabbot, you can't do anything! For those of you not in the Corps, let me explain, and I will not be exaggerating by any means..While in uniform you cannot…walk and drink…walk and eat..walk and use a cell phone..walk and adjust your uniform..carry things in your right hand..carry things on your back, such as a backpack..have things in your pockets…and if you were in service uniforms, don't even think about carrying a wallet in your pocket! Yes, that prior list wasn't simply the "flashy" service or dress uniforms…it pertains to the cammies as well..which is what most of us wear every single day, for hours at time because they are our work uniforms.

And I get it, the reason for all these rules on both the Corps and Jew sides is keeping with traditions and so forth..respecting the heritage that comes along with calling yourself a jew or Marine.."respect the uniform" i hear constantly as a junior Marines does something they are not supposed to..and just shortly after that another junior Marine who has been brainwashed will make a comment about "looking heinous" or some derivative about how "we didn't join the army"..when deep down inside we are all saying, really, what the fuck.

I'm not asking to reinvent the wheel here (ugh, one of my most hated sayings and I do not know why I just used it..too much hate in this blog), but what I'm asking services, of any nature, to do is, get with the times. Hey Jews, you want to not worry about the mundane, bullshit life and not work..it's called taking a vacation…not segregating yourself out of the community wherein that type of lifestyle is not conducive to living a normal, healthy, social life. Hey Corps, we understand you're the hardest of the branches of service, the best of the best, etc…but you don't have to justify these obsolete rules, standards, traditions, or whatever as a validation for keeping around a non-needed branch of service. It'd be like if I wore a condom on my dick all day long after having sex with some chick…nobody can see it, it's only hurting myself…but I already know I fucked the broad, so why do I need to have this questionable antic as a form of a reminder..people will know by the way i, err you perform..got lost in my analogy..lol.

Short in point, it's stupid to be either a Jew or a Marine.






"..don't both have grooming requirements too?!"