FAT Tuesday!!!
Time for Packazi's!

Partying like it's 1999....

wow, so what a day...it started out a little weird, waking up at 8 thirsty as hell..then going back to bed only to wake up two hours later for work..I called Rachann to make sure she was up and then I went to work..it was only moments later that I realized it was Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Packazi Day..and tomorrow being Ash Wednesday...

well, as shocking as it was to me, it was even more shocking to everyone at work..somehow this one "holiday" of sorts had almost slipped through the hands of the main party people. As soon as Brendan found out, Happy Hour was chanted throughout the alley...and Chase, chase came to the quick realization that he had forgot to make time for church tomorrow...him and I both, we both picking up doubles on a day we weren't scheduled.."Looks like our asses will be up at 6am.."

so after work everyone was excited to start with the drinking at 4, the beginning of Happy Hour (which for the record is illegal in the state of Indiana due to equal opportunity pricing...) However I was a late comer, had my haircut at 4 and then had to shower after that, of course, I hate those loose hairs and funky style it's in after the cut..so I blew off class and showed up shortly after 5..and that's where the fun began...

so I show up to Kilroy's and everyone is already tipsy..and everyone is giving me the third degree to why I came so late...I seriously explained it four times in a row, that's how off people were. started the day off with a double gin&tonic..got my cheeseburger with fries and moved on to my own pitcher of Blue Moon..we hung out there for awhile..it was nice to have a semi-diverse crowd..good times..

but by 730 we decided to move over to the jungle room, get a table there early before the crowd..and oh, did we get a table....we actually got the VIP section, the place in the back corner with the plush couches, the little game, coffee table, a server, and roped off section...it was cool - because we are cool. the thing I didn't like was when our waitress changed at 9, so did our drink specials..so we were arguing that, but we didn't want to make too much of a scene and get kicked out of VIP, so we hushed up, most of the people were really too drunk to care by that point..

at the jungle room, in the VIP section, that's when and where things got...crazy...I won't go into details, but alcohol was flowing and everybody was pretty much coupled up...and because of this, my "not gonna repeat last year" attitude made me get up and go over to see the band play. (for the record I had my chance wit a married woman and turned it down....again). I was over there for a couple songs, long enough to come to the conclusion I didn't like them and decided to go back..I was hoping that my dispersal may also make others get up and move around...and when I came back it kinda did, but not to the full effect I wanted it to. as I was walking up to the ropes Char comes up and starts hitting me..Immediately pissing me off..and we have a little discussion on the events that just happened...all was cleared up soon enough and it was about at that time we decided to make our move to somewhere we could dance (as if the jungle room didn't have a dance floor?)

so by 1230 we mossied on over to Sports, which let me tell you was a brilliant move...dancing yes! they've got this long and narrow stage thing that I guess you're supposed to sit on or something, but our group just climbed up on it and danced our asses off...we were the only ones who were really getting down into it, and the DJ was all about it, he kept dropping off free beers at our table. oh the love...couple of the funnier notes were that they refused to serve Rachann, they figured she was drunk enough...and she was..she really really was..I think she had her top off more than she had it on, let's just go ahead and say that...that girl had on so many beads I'm surprised she didn't become top heavy and topple over...love her to death don't get me wrong...but when she cock-blocks me, well that's another story..several times I'd be dancing with a girl that I brought up on stage wit me and then a few minutes later rachann would just barge right in between the two of us..and because it's a narrow piece of strip I couldn't really go around her and back to the girl..it sucked.

some other highlights were when this random guy wanted a picture of me..so he grabbed me, grabbed this girl, and took our pic..funny thing was, the girl nor myself knew the guy, nor each other..creepy weird...and then when I went over to Captain organ to get free stuff this girl starts talking to me and I interject with, "wait, are you one of the Captain girls, or some random girl I can actually hit on?" but she was a captain girl..and we continued to talk, and then Drapper walks up and says to stop hitting on his girlfriend..apparently, of all the Captain Morgan girls I chose to hit on and talk to, it's the one matt knows..amazing.

and then it became time for almost everyone to leave..about 2am, but Dane (the psychopath) and myself decided to stick around just a little bit longer..he was trying to hookup with a girl, and I was just going along for the ride...I thought I had very well found a girl, we were dancing, it was cool, all seemed to be gong well, and then she gets a call from her boyfriend...yeah..

so shortly after that we peaced out, giving that girl and her friend a ride home - during which the friend lit up a cigarette in the backseat of my car and then were accusing us of maybe raping them if we were to hang out wit them at their place...yeah, as I said, you bitches are lucky I don't stop the car right here...but they were cool and I didn't mean to be so much of an ass...when I dropped them off Dane was still trying to get wit them, then they came over to my side, opened my door, and gave me a hug..I was able to tell them their real names and they were very happy with that and gave me kisses on the cheek..I got Dane back in the car and I took him over to forest..

as for me, my night wasn't quite over..I went over to Kroger with the intentions of buying Packazi's..and I did just that..then when I got home I had a mental lapse and called mindy (note: she had originally called me at 130, I texted her back saying I was dancing at sports..) so I invited her over...she was asleep and didn't wan to get up..and I harassed her for the next 45 minutes..I think we had a little fight, whatever..things are just stupid, obviously, it's my life right....and so I slept alone, probably for the better?













"You know it'd be good Jason..."

The Follow-Up..
Cuz I love to leave you hanging..

for the record, nothing happened, as willing as we both were..I was way too tired to do anything, and that only helped my will power to not let anything happen...and we didn't even cuddle, because cuddling means something..

Saturday Night Live...
Eating it up while I can....

with nobody around I'm out and about like you wouldn't believe...


==>>Recap Thursday night, went out with the ladies on Kirkwood..and then on Friday celebrated Adam H's 21 Birthday, closing down the bars again..not to mention realizing that Bengi is a pretty cool guy to hang out with..

oh so the morning started off a lot better than I had imagined..I got up at the very last second I could, as normal, but after that I was awake and ready to rock..did make it to work a little bit late, what with the shower and all, but no matter, I was there...the morning was lame...we had a late rush as always, people were horrible tippers as always..nothing too exciting

I took a quick break to eat a bowl of Zuppa and win back my RockStar Energy drink from Doug who had stolen it..how'd I win it back..oh, I made him blush, which is a rarity...ran over to starbucks for Drappers pick-me-up and then it was back on the clock..and then it was the beginning of one of the worst nights possible...

so the transition from shifts that they were working on, didn't really work so well, and they pissed off Leah (who wasn't on the cock just yet and was trying to get something to eat..) my first table left me three on thirty..and then we ran out of spoons...spoons!!! then they were short staffed in the kitchen and that just crashed hard. the new manager was in the window to try and get things going pushing Ian to help with the line, but with 45 minute ticket times, not much could be done..that poor new manager has seriously been there for every night something completely horrible has happened, I feel bad for him and wouldn't be surprised if he just lost it one day..

everybody was in a bad mood for the most part with all this happening, and I was just trying to hide from it all, what with my blue card and all...funny thing was that earlier in the shift Ian asked me if I was ready to do the line again tonight, I asked if he was kidding, and he said he hoped so..but had they pulled me from the floor (for the third time in arrow) to cover the window and put Ian on the line before the crash, then things may have been slightly better..

whatever, I still had my tables to enjoy (or not enjoy) and on my last two I explained the significance of OUR Andes mints as opposed to the ones you can buy in the store..I also took a mint from their table to explain the demonstration and ate it in front of them..I got a kick out of it..

so after that I left the building, and as I got off the sidewalk onto the pavement I said one of those brilliant things I say when I get out of work, you know, those two short sentences with little to do with either one of them..god, I wish my voicerecorder wasn't broken or I had my phone because I totally forgot by now..it was amazing retarded though..something like "what am I doing, when do I work?...wait what, I'm leaving work to go home..ughhh" so then I ran home to eat a small bite, finishing up the pizza from Thursday, and then got ready to go out..first stop was to see my friend Chris' band, The Red Label, at a house party on 19th. I arrived just in time to help Chris with his bass amp, just like old times..and after a few it was time for the show. I t was their first show ever, so everyone was intrigued to see what they were like, even Carrie.

let me tell you, it rocked. I thoroughly enjoyed it..I wasn't too sure how the crowd would like it, all of them seeming to be into the last poppy punk fall out boy bad that played just before...but the crowd dug it...they even played some obscure covers from the Stones and Velvet Underground...my favorite was of course Dead Flowers..but aside from the covers, the original stuff was rocking just as hard, nice classic rock sound.

so the best part was when the closed with Rock and Roll, the crowd went nuts and demanded an encore..the band had already started to do their dismantling to allow for the next band to play, but the crowd wanted more...and let me just say this..I've never heard a crowd, a full crowd, nut just a couple of nuts, but an entire audience all want an encore from other bands (ie coinslot) so that was a really cool thing to see happen, especially for a first show.

after their performance everyone was telling them what a great job they did, and a couple of the band members thank me for rocking out so hard (that was during Dead Flowers), I told chris to keep me up to date with more concerts and events..and I should have told him to hook me up with carrie's roommate (the one that looked like LadyL)

so from there it was onto the next party, the one Chase wanted me to come to, and the one I promised I'd stop by for..and so I did..on my own I'm a man of my word. so when I got there, Chase was very excited to see me, hand me a cup with beer in it and told me, if anyone gives me crap, tell them I'm with him..it was cute.

I found Katie Combs and we spent the better part of the evening hanging out and talking..she felt more comfortable with me there, and vice versly the same...the night did get a little crazy when this girl found me to be very attractive, loving my sense of style and all (I mean who wouldn't?) well she's getting really close, and dancing kinda dirty..and then I come to find out it's Steve's ex-girlfriend Anna..so Katie and I talk about this, but then we head downstairs for flippy-cup, and things get out of control..so it's dark and this girl is all about hanging on me...and I kinda just let it happen, more or less in a state of shock..I don't want to do anything in front of Steve, let alone with him in the same building..and you know..I really don't want to do anything with any of my friend's ex-girlfriends....so then, then, this is good, Steve calls me over, and I start into my apology ramble and he stops me and says I can do whatever I want with her, whatever, just don't do it in front of him..understandable, completely...so then I try and hide from the girl...

I go upstairs, I find chase and let him know what just happened, but he says he completely has my back, somebody needs to do that Steve because he's so in the hole when it comes to guy code it's retarded...which, when you think about it..yeah, you know, he has crossed the line in front of me, so you know what..I'm a spiteful and vengeful bastard...I'll fuck her right in front of him....

so Anna finds me and we are talking, mainly her nibbling on my neck...and I may be the only person who can hold conversation with others while having this done onto. Chase took a picture to have for when I call him that picture will show..he also told me to shutup and enjoy that...priceless...

so after awhile of me saying how I wanted to go home, I finally get the chance to, an hour later than what I had originally said, but Anna asked if she was invited, I told her yes, and I brought her over to my place...oh, so I park my car, pulling it in reverse trying to get as close to the guy behind me as possible in order to make my wheel go behind the yellow on the curb and I pulled off one of the greatest park jobs ever...my tire was nicely tucked behind the yellow and my bumper was about half an inch away from the other guys bumper..I never even hit him..amazing, I know I rock....

so as we are walking around the corner to my place I notice that the apartment above me is still raging with whatever it is they do every weekend..so I decided now would be a good time to go and visit the neighbors..so we go up, are invited in, and are handed beers...we wrote on the passed out drunk guy, danced around a bit, and became spectators to some weird strip a than, with mainly the guys...I said I felt inclined to join in, but I don't think they knew we are still here.....

so after that we went back down, telling them not to be quiet, keep it rocking because I want to hear them still when I wake up in the morning..so downstairs I went, walked up to my receiver and turned the volume knob all the way over...Anna and I had a little dance party going for a bit and then I started to crash..turned down everything since it was now five in the morning, sat on the couch, talked, and then started to pass out...

and thus ended my night..













"Oh, when I said DDR, I meant Dance Dance Revolution..not the communistic movement..."

Wasting Time..
like it's my job..

let me just state I officially hate my computer....

you ever wonder why I don't post as much...here's a clue, actually two....1) I really don't ever have the absolute free time it takes to make the posts..I may have an hour to dick around, but that's catching up on my mail, seeing what others are up to, and checking eBay...and B) every time I actually do go to post, my computer craps out in the middle of it..and I lose everything..and then when I try to go back and re-write it, it's just horrible, not nearly as brilliant as the first time, and a lot of it is trying to recapture a mood I've already given out..so fuck that...

so here I am back at mindy's typing up this post, amoung others..today's just a lame day..I couldn't get anyone to pick up my morning shift tomorrow, and they didn't need me at all today..so I'm stuck here..not making money, and not really getting anything accomplished...story of my life...

Two shifts..
Two moods..

and of course, two princes...

so the Tuesday morning has started like many past Tuesday mornings have..me ion a good mood..why, can't explain it..but it's the one day of the week who's morning doesn't piss me off for one reason or another...I make it to work on time, tried calling Rachann several times to make sure she got there on time as well, but no answer..I did find her as soon as I got to the OG so all was well...

and my mood was good..again I had only two tables this morning...one of them being a twelve top that got sat as soon as I got there...and my partner..well she didn't arrive for another half hour, just as I was ringing in the entire order..whatever..I did give her some of the gratuity at the end because she did help me run some trays of food out there...but that was it and I was on my way home..was cut at one, and left at quarter til only because people were talking and pizza was ordered...

made my phone call to Mindy just to prove her wrong from the discussion we had the night prior...she was worried that I wouldn't be cut as a split and I may not make it out of the OG in time to go back to my apartment and pick her up..so we didn't stay at my house the night prior..but as always..I am right...

so I got back to my place, took a nap..got up, DDR'ed, showered, and made it back to work to host....funny thing, I was the last of the hosts to arrive, since I was a couple minutes late and we all were to show up at 4:30, but I didn't care because Steph put me down as a split, so no matter what I would be cut first..brilliant.

and it was slow..I spent most of the time just standing around or rolling..I think I only sat maybe a max of seven tables..my section went from four servers, to two after they made the spit cuts, but not me....so once I was cut, I was hungry and wanted to get my free meal from Doug..but there was nowhere to sit, so I decided to leave and just wait it out..

and wait I did....mindy called me nearing 11, as she was heading over to pick me up...so from ther we want and got a sandwich from McDonald's and some random crap from Taco Bell, the healthiest meal ever! and mindy must have been PMS'ing because she had a tone with me the entire time I was with her, not yelly, but short and mean..so good times...

I would just like to mention that the other night really was unsettling, it took a day to hit me, and I never mentioned it, but here it goes....the other night, Monday, when I was with the gang at Bear's, patty was..god, how do I say this without sounding all full of myself...she was hanging on me, but nothing to read into...she was just holding my hand and was pressed up against me as we stood there watching the debauchery take place...at first I kinda pushed her off..so conditioned to not let those feelings come out towards a girl, really the only girl I ever hang out with..ever...because if I act boyfriend-y with her she'll only get upset then and I'll hear about it later.....but I did warm up to it, and you know what..it does feel good to be held and hold someone back..damnit...I do want a girlfriend....a compassionate one..and not the fucking relationship I got now...you know, the one where I have a girlfriend without any of the extreme benefits...fuck that....













"I wanna have sex while driving my car tonight, anybody down with that..anybody..anybody....YOU!"

The Hits Just Keep on Coming..
Mondays are still #1...

The faith in the rally pulls through once again.

The dreaded Monday morning..actually not so much dreaded, just a precursor to the amazing events that will take forth that evening, like a crappy opening band that you have to sit through in order to retain the great seats for general admission to see one of your favorite bands..but this Monday was a little different...for whatever reason I was scheduled as a split, aka two shifts, aka I'd be working that night.

and with the curse of the split I had only two tables in the morning, pulling in a whopping twelve dollars. during my break I made it home to tidy up, do random chores, and fax in my UofM re-admission application...then back to work...

back at work, when Doug saw me and put two and two together, the fact I was working a night shift, and it was Monday..he immediately felt bad...and he made cuts as quick as possible..I did have a couple more than two tables for the night, but I think almost every one of them wanted the damned Bueno Festa Song..

so I was cut , my tables were just wrapping up and I headed on over to the Weed right on time at 8 just as if nothing had ever threatened it. I wasn't sure how big of an event it was going to be for tonight, a lot of people either weren't feeling up to it, or I left at the OG with closing shifts, so I asked only for a booth..they were all surprised.

soon after my arrival Matt B showed up...followed by Rachann, Patty, and Charlene..the five of us rocked our for the remainder of the night, with Laurissa showing up right at last call. I was actually hungry and decided to order food...I think I ordered the same exact dish as I did the first time Isabelle and myself went there, that one time when Rachel rocked our world...

From Tumbleweed it was on to Comedy Caravan at Bear's. alright, now I will be first to admit that I never really ever wanted to go to this comedy caravan..maybe a slight inklingly once in awhile, but the mere thought of the horrendous jokes and non-humor that would be thrown out at a drunken college audience who want to hear fart jokes never sounded too appealing to me...but I went.

we cam in on the middle of this one comedians act, and it was actually pretty good..I remember char yelling out to him that she was going to mary him...foreshadowing...and following him was the headliner, this 50 year old man...who took awhile to warm up to for his use of profanities I felt was for more of a shock value than anything worth meaning. but from what we saw from those two comedians, it was a blast. after the show we sat for a little bit and were all talking, rachann almost giving me head at the table..and as patty and I are talking, turning our backs for virtually a minute, the place has thinned out and now rachann and Charlene are talking to those very two last comics we saw...

the older one split out of jonestwon while he could, but the first comedian, the one Charlene said she was going to marry, well, he wasn't so lucky. and so there we stood, well, there patty and I stood, watching this debauterious event take place..Charlene practicaly throwin herself at the guy..and then, as if it couldn't get any better..this creepy old guy walks up to rachann and starts talking to her..the line we heard was him mentioning how he was wearing his sister's sweater...so there patty and I were, stuck in the middle with creepy sister sweater man to the left and Charlene wrapping her drunk legs around a very funny man to our right...so we did what any couple of people would do in this situation..we added to the craziness and started to kiss...nobody saw it, and nobody would ever know...it was awesome.

(For the record I would just like to state that yes it indeed was my idea to add the the irrationalities of the situation and start kissing the person standing next to me, However, it was only meant to be a kiss on the check for I didn't want to cross any boundaries with Patty, though ideally making out was the off-the-wall idea I had in my head to make the situation as complex as possible..and of course after it happened you got the shocked Jason trying to valididate the actions by stating he only was going for the cheek and getting the response of, "I know, but I gave you that instead"...)

So it was about that time when we decided to pull the now making a fool out of herself char from the helpless victim of a Hairy Bear - and this is where it gets tricky. like dealing with my baby rats, I had two mindless drunks both trying to go in opposite directions. rachann was parked by me and was quite a distance aways, and Charlene was right next to the building..so I walked char to her car and quickly made the deduction she was not going to drive by any means. so I called patty over to take char to her house, I would follow and take patty the rest of the way home..and somehow rachann was going to fit in there as well....well, as I made my way to my car in hopes of finding a stumbling or passed out ontop one of the vehicles rachann, I found neither rachann nor her car there...great, I just let a drunk slip from my hands and onto the roads...

so I made a call to rachann asking her to call me as soon as she got this in order for me to know that everything was ok..I followed patty in char's car to char's place, dropped her off, and then proceeded to take patty the rest of the way home. we talked briefly in my car, me making the joke about how I didn't have to take her home right away, especially after the little kissing session. but she explained even though as much as she wants to, that the timing just isn't right at this moment (story of my love life) she's dealing with a lot of complicated situations from ex's to deaths in the family and she doesn't want to make matters worse by fooling around with me and in the end grow feelings and attatch herself to me...I then said messed up relationships is my specialty and all I know.

so I let her go and swung around to 37 to head home..and then I get the brilliant idea to test my car- you see, my car has been acting up lately, rather it's been sounding a little off to me, and I just wanted to test it up at high speeds to see if it could indeed make it on a long trip, such as one to the region that is past overdue..so I go, get it up to 85 and start to bring it back down, rather coast, and all sounds good to me so for..then my radar detector goes off, and I hit the brakes a little just in case it's not going off because of the stores I am passing...and sure enough, in my rear view mirror I see the lights of a squad car in the distance...so I keep coasting until I make it to the 2nd street exit and I decide to pull over..and wait..it takes him a bit to get to me but he eventually does, and I'm calm as hell during all of this.

he comes up and asks me if I knew how fast I knew I was going and all that jazz, but it gets better with the following.. "What kind of plates are those?" - "Indiana" - "Indiana? I meant what kind of plates are those!" -"They are Native American plates in support of my Native American Heritage" - "Oh" and it even gets better with this "How's your record, when's the last time you got a ticket?" - "April 2nd 2004" - "For what?" - "Speeding, in a speedtrap" - "A speedtrap?" - "Yeah you know, one of those places that cops always sit because they know nobody actually does or in this case can do the speed limit, it was in St John, where it goes from a 55 to a 35 in a heartbeat right on a hill. Not only that but I was singled out of the pack because of my out-of-state plates, cars were passing me, but because I started out ahead of them at the light I'm speeding..and I would have been in court to contest it too, but I had to work and couldn't make it - logistically it was impossible for any of us to be speeding.." he came back to my car and told me that the speed I was going was worth a ticket (well duh, you told me it was I was doing 72 in a 55) but he was going to let me go with a warning..he never even questioned the alcohol smell on my breath...

so in light of those events I had to stop off at mindy's to tell her about it all and how I didn't get a ticket while I was "drunk" Boo-ya!













"If you can't Fuck & Drive, you can't Fuckin' Drive!"

Eighty-Six'ed
you and everyone we know...

one of the worst Saturday's to work..and I took it all in stride...

the morning was retarded as ever..wake up and there is snow on the ground...get to work and I'm in bianco, a Saturday morning classic now...so that means I have to put up with large tables, making large tabs, but leaving small tips..annoying, yes. I got into it with this lady who asked for our minestrone with just the broth and shells...after I told her that was virtually impossible, our soup has very little shells at any given time, and as for broth..virtually none...she goes into a rant about how that's how she always gets it at Greenwood...I snapped and told her this isn't Greenwood, we do things a bit differently here..

she didn't like that..she was also the one who ordered the "chicken with broccoli and alfredo sauce", to which I asked did she want the chicken con broccoli substitute alfredo sauce, or chicken alfredo add broccoli? she freaked out and started pointing at her menu...turns out she wanted chicken alfredo add broccoli..to which I charged her for the broccoli....

I somehow turned out $85 from the morning..and worked straight through into the night..I being tina's replacement at 4, Leah S being my replacement at 430 and Leah S having her replacement come in at 430 as well...a little tricky, but we pulled it off...

so the night was retarded as I stated...we ran out of coasters...glasses (using anything we could get our hands on)...small togo containers....grated cheese...and steak pieces for the Alfredo Steak Gorg and the Mixed Grill...and not to mention this was the new manager's first Saturday night by hisself..yeah, good times....

and not to mention the host staff was pissing off everyone in the world...well except for me..I didn't have a problem too much, but others were going to kill someone...Leah in particular...

the night ended, making only $90, and I stopped by mindy's to pick up the rest of my clothes...went home, accidentally took an hour nap, showered and then sat around..I didn't want to go back to Mindy's for food...it would have just been stupid....













"Man, fuck this shit..."

Why Do I Do...
..anything?

it was a day of something..just what is the real question....

the morning got started early and with a rush...I woke up and had to run home to make an over the phone interview by 9:30...my plans of course were to wake up earlier than that to wake up and have my voice in the best possible condition for this....so on my way home I'm singing and talking the entire ride there....

I make the call and it all goes well..although the guy was a little bit negative about the whole situation..I just look at it as though he was offering personal experience into it, which makes reality harsh...whatev's.....so the outcome, Michigan, excuse, the University of Michigan is going to let me come back....

I'll give you a moment to take in that statement...

better? so after that I passed back out...only to wake up to an alarm I set to wake up mindy..for I forgot to set one before I left in the morning....and then back to sleep..then it was time for me to get up and go off to work....

when I got there they asked me who I was working for...great, I'm not even on the schedule..for some reason I had a feeling I wouldn't be serving tonight..turns out they took me off the schedule to put me in the window...my first real, full shift in the window..and on a Friday night...awesome...

it went well, the cooks tortured me a little bit, like the one time they let all the food pile up in the window, then sold me twenty tickets....and then they continued to pile more food and ending up pushing off a dish and having to remake that...but I kept my cool the entire time..

after work I was tired and started some laundry...mindy and I were asleep by 1 easily...and it was the 1:30 drunk dial I got that woke me up, and kept me up..I knew it was going to keep me up, so I got up and switched over the loads of laundry and watched TV...I actually finished all my laundry and passed out by three on the futon...it was also the realization I shouldn't be in bed next to mindy that kicked me out, not my wet clothes...

4am comes and so does mindy, she gets up, goes to the kitchen for a snack and then wakes me up, pulling me back to bed...I go, only because sleep is good, and it will all stop once I close my eyes.













"I'm only going [to UofM] to get away from you.."

Rest Day...
..regret day..

Every wake up with that feeling of regret in the morning...

knowing that what you just did was probably the stupidest thing ever, and would just rest and push back all that had been accomplished, yeah well, welcome to this morning....woke up in mindy's bed, didn't feel too bad at first, but then it hit me, late as usual, what I had just done...but I did remain somewhat strong..I didn't cuddle her, not even in the morning when I really really wanted to..and I stayed on my half of the bed for the better part of it al..our legs did criss-cross, but whatever...of course that little bit of touch is just as detrimental as any other...

so we get up, well after 3..and we decided to get the day started...it was exactly at four that I put together the time, the day, and what I had missed..I was supposed to go to RnR History II at 415..and since I missed Tuesday's class because of V-Day, I wanted to go today...but indeed I did not..mindy is a horrible roll model for going to class..she didn't go to class this morning either...

so we grabbed food and headed to my place so I could change clothes..but once we got there we turned on the TV to an awesome show about breaking into people's houses on the discovery channel..and after that we took yet another nap..

from there it was to the mall, buying more clothes, and then a brisk walk through target, NOT actually buying anything for once..somehow.

and then it was on our way to K-Roger and then to the Big Red for some Sherry...where the clerk girl smoking outside confronted me about my car. She first asked me if it was a stock engine..and then asked if I had a V-8 in it...then told me that it sounded really good..with such a country accent, it was adorable.

Another Double Down...
..and it's a flop...

The last of the doubles, with an insult to end with...

As always I meant to get started with the day a little bit earlier than when I actually intended to wake up for the last minute to get ready to go to work. whatever..8am is too early..and in light of that wake up, by the time my alarm actually goes off I'm just getting back into my sleep..whatever..

off to work I go, working in the morning for mindy, and I get to have a follow. megan follows for me for less than an hour, and right after she goes back to classroom I am cut...and then I wait..and wait. so my tables are sticking around, talking..my first table is the last one I have now...so I sit in the back of Ecco, and sit in on the classroom with Caty. Finally by 2:30 my table gets up, and I'm running out the door...

I get home, and call some places, not expecting to have this time off, not thinking I would be considered a split, but got the balls rolling on things. but I wanted to get back to work early..Something before 4 just in order to pick up tables for those wanting to leave from this morning. made it in there by 3:50, plenty of time..and as I pull up I roll up along side Jeremy Stone..and as I get out of my car I am startled by J.Stone and his appearance. His hair is bright Blue!

V-Day...
Let's Not Even Go There...

Lame Monday...
..but it had it's moments...

yeah, to sum it up, today was pretty lame, but there were some highlights did shine through..with this reminder....

it started out like any monday morning after a night of being up on the phone til 5 telling the one you love you don't want to ever speak to her again..

Weird Feelings..
not going anywhere...

just one of those days you wished the earth would swallow you whole...

so only getting an hours worth of sleep, I didn't quite wake up on time for my appointment..when I finally got out of bed to go, it was 8, just a half hour past the red zone..which I believe is the start of feeling the way I do currently..you know, the no-selfworth feeling..yeah.

mindy got up and went to work..it wasn't til 3 I pulled myself out, and with the thought I wouldn't see her, but as I was getting ready she waltzed in, tried to make conversation with me..but I told her I wasn't in the mood..I continued to get ready and she gave me a hug goodbye..was too good/running late to give me a hug this morning, but now...whatever..fuck that..it just pisses me off...don't try to be there for your "friends" when they've finally given up on you...

I continued home, and I actually accomplished a lot in the little time I was out and about...I called some places about getting my tire for stupid Lucille..and I actually found a place that had a used tire that only cost me $25..as opposed to the $200 I would have had to spent on a new tire that would have thrown off my steering even more...I tried to reschedule with my appointment, but that didn't happen - I went to the post office, only to come to find I had to go to the post office on the other side of town for some reason - went to Pier 1 to get my price adjustment - stopped in at the furniture store to see they had sold my dining set - and to make matters best, the speakers that were sent to me, won't work...so all in all, the the means were better the end result..I was happier with the fact I did all this, than the fact that it all turned out so crappily...

at home I sulked, dave called me and we spoke briefly..he was making sure I was still alive from Monday night..and from that point on I continued with this weird, worse than floating through life feeling..I couldn't keep an actual thought in my head, I had a really bad indecisive ADD going on, my head hurt and I didn't feel as if I were really here, and my neck is in soo much pain..I just want to sleep without the hastle of waking up.













"Oh, I see you got a $15 ticket for driving drunk last night I found on the windshield of my car..."

Messy Monday...
a death wish...

So despite what I though, this may have been the most drunk I've ever been..

started off the afternoon with a little work-a-thon, not really I only had a whopping four tables yet still was able to walk out after tip out with $42. I wasn't in the best of moods, mindy tried talking to me, but I really didn't want anything to do with it.

so after work, as I was leaving, mindy walked out at the same time, she was going with Chantel for whatever reason, and told me to call her after margarita Monday..I told her I couldn't do that...so after we parted ways I sent her a text message saying I'm in asshole mode because that's what I believe I believe is the best way to get things accomplished, and that I thought it best that she leave me alone for awhile..

after that moment I was on a mission..I was home, I never took a nap, though came close at one point - while online I was pleased to see several away messages all informing others of the wondrous day is was today..so I put up my response to it all, "killing the week early and drowning the past in tequila, somewhere in the middle I will rest"..all too true in the hours to come...

I arrived at 8, as we had all planned, and I waited for others to show..it wasn't til 830 or so when Drapper came in..and again it was the two of us sitting at a large table. while we were waiting this little kid was entranced wit me, kept looking at me, until he started crying...I would call him a cocksucker later...others eventually arrived, and it was a more intimate gathering unlike last time - which was fine with me, except for the arrival of a certain someone..one who I had bit my tongue not to go off on the entire time..if it weren't for his sulking state I would have laid into him (Adam K)..

I was making the standard drunk dials, I even called ALCO for Elizabeth, whom put me through to just about everyone in the store..slightly professed my love, key word there, and continued to drink...when it came time to head out, closing down the place and all everyone ran off as I went to say goodbye to Chase, who opted not to sit with us since an old friend whom he hadn't seen in awhile was in town... we all got up, they asked if I was cool to drive..I knew I really wasn't perfectly fine to drive, but I didn't want to leave my car anywhere other than my place..

so out in the parking lot there was a struggle, as I ran to my car, chase followed me in his car, got out and tried to take my keys...as I rolled down my window to talk he reached in..again with the struggle, and in the process we hit the windshield wiper lever, and the fluid started to spray all over him. well, as funny as this was to me, I continued to do it, and it made him give up on the keys and follow me over to Yogi's (all with the help from racheal bartels)..I had really just wanted to go home, but they convinced me to go to the other bar to sober up and then drive home..whatever...so we get in..I'm there for a only a couple minutes before whatever reason unbeknownst to me, I decide to call mindy and let her know how drunk I am...instantly mad at me, she tries to keep me on the phone as she is now coming to pick me up..knowing that I fucked up, not supposed to see her again I grab my shit, say goodbye and head out home..

so I'm laying on my futon, talking to Dave, and Rahcann keeps calling me, telling me mindy had just been there looking for me, when all of a sudden the doorbell rings, but it sounds so surreal that I say it's the TV..and then Mindy is right in my face, scaring the crap out of me...so I hang up the phone and she starts hitting my head, making a comment about how that won't feel as bad as a windshield..so to get her to stop I lunge at her and bring us both crashing into the floor...at that moment I realize moving was a bad idea..so I get up and proceed to the bathroom..where I begin to vomit...

a glass of water was handed to me to drink, I ask for a straw and the TV to be put on the Cartoon Network...only one of my requests were fulfilled - that being the straw..so I continue to argue about having the TV put on the Cartoon Network to watch Home Movies and more alcohol to go with it..mindy says something about not until I finish my glass of water, so I take it from her hands and dump it into the toilet..then I proceed to tell her I'm going to break the glass..I start tapping it on the toilet as a precursor to what I will do, but a piece chips off, which makes me pull back and smash it into the side of the toilet, shattering the glass in my hands..causing cuts and me to bleed.

mindy tried to get me to get up to go with her back to her place, but I wasn't moving..she had to take Fabi home and didn't want to leave me like that..I told her to take away the glass because I wanted to cut myself with it..she thought I was joking, then ripped the pieces out from my clentched right fist. I ask for more alcohol and tell her it to be wise she remove and cleaning products from underneath the sink, I would drink those too..I even tried to choke on my own vomit, but to no avail...

she left and came back, only to drag me to bed..the entire time I told her how she shouldn't be here, how she wasn't supposed to be here..it was horrible, she called me a mess, and tried to convince me on living..

I eventually fell asleep, but we all know I would just wake up in the morning..














"What did you do to that child - I think he was looking into my soul"

Puppy Bowl II...
..with Kitty Halftime show

the brilliance just keeps on coming...

oh today, what a day..insert a rolling of the eyes right there please. today sucked, completely sucked..I think it's just a wind-down from last night, a little bit of the leftover garbage..but still, it persits. after getting barely to no sleep it was time to go to work..I was really regretting switching with Darrel at this point, but it needed to be done.

work was ridiculously stupid. it was slow yes..but that little Stephanie girl kept me full..but as the clock ticked on, I grew more and more tired..and once it was completely dead, my last table was getting up ( actually that was a half hour long epic..they got up to use the restroom, came back, and then the guy stood at the table..wanting to leave but the bitches wouldn't shutup..) so finally at 230, no tables at all..I am ready to be checked out..and I wait..and I wait..and they aren't seating me....

my replacement was to be in at 400...but then something happened and they were taken off of the schedule..so I didn't have a replacement, didn't have a table, and it was now pushing after 330...the managers ask me to stay on til 430 or so..for what, to piss me off...

so just before 4 I get double sat, and yeah..it wasn't worth my time at all...$5 on $40 and $6 on $50...and I got around 5 or so....complete waste of time..so I had to stop by mindy's to get the rats and pick up some of my last things..so by the time I get home I crash on my bed, lights on everywhere..music blarring..until 830, when mindy calls me asking for her keys, so she can leave work..riiight, I never returned them and she has the stupid car so she needs keys to get in..ok...so I wake up, kinda throw on some clothes and drop off her keys to her..and she stands there, trying to make plans with me..me, wanting to to do anything with her of course but biting back on my tongue because a change needs to be in order, so I sit there not really saying anything..a scene I react all too often...

we part ways and I wind up here at my house...finish watching up the game, eat some hot dogs, the puppy bowl and whatever I can cram into my vision. phone calls are made back and forth between mindy and myself..the last taking the longest with the least amount said. we both want to hang out with each other, but we both know it's not the healthiest thing to do...and neither of us will say or admit it. I make the point that if we both know the "best" option will hurt both parties and we both don't want to say it, or act it out..doesn't that mean something?

nothing more is really said...she grows tired and decides to call it a night and see me in the morning.













"Herro, Asuka, I was wondering if you had Derivery?"

Not yet..
wait for it...

don't worry, the things from last night won't hit me til...tomorrow?

I'm not going into anything...people are stupid, people are shady..people don't make sense...luckily all this flucuates every thirteen seconds..but the big ideas haven't hit me yet....

I worked a double, oddly enough it held my mind and kept my attention..worked for only a couple hours in the morning, got cut as a split then went back to mindy's..I laid there til it was time for me to go back to work, woke her up as I left since she had to be there only 15 minutes after me...

after work I figured I'd give it a shot, a chance to turn it all around..but that never happens...

this is all you get....













"insert floating through life emotion here"

Ditched?
what happened?

I can't even catch a break when I don't want it...

So after giving in the night before, I woke up next to the warm familiar body I've been longing for..turkey sandwiches are best served warm, like a Manhattan...we slept in til 3ish, mindy missing yet another day of classes. I got ready to go to work and we parted ways...

work was lame, another fill-in manager, a female this time. I don't even know if she truly worked for Darden, she kept asking ransom questions and was really intrigued by the way we did things..weird...work started off very slowly, but it eventually picked up..we were on a wait, but I had the family table, so my life sucked. the family table did get sat at one point, with five, with the potential to be five more..and because they just sat me as they were seating the family table (and my other table was expecting one more on the way but had ordered their food) I had Matt B take lead..and in fact I never really caught up with him because of my tables being so darn confusing..the family table stayed a five and therefore I was bumped from ever having it.

Fabian came in, was supposed to sit in my section, but somehow Chantel got ahold of him and brought him to 433, the table next to my two top I was serving to have a third table...so a little irked I dealt with it..she got hers though, a five top was to be seated at 311 thus giving Chantel a fourth table, but this was spoken in front of the manager and it didn't fly well with her..so they gave it to me instead..HA..funny thing is, I still picked up a fourth table just moments later...

Matt B was cut earlier and left with fire in his ass..I was so pissed to see his tables not even bussed, pre-bussed, or any of the sidework completed...and he only had two tables to take care of since I took his third as my fourth...I was everso pissed...

and then Chase got them to cut me as a split, thinking that I truly was a split, but soon found out I was not..but let it slide since I had my "date" to go on.. and then..ohh, and then....

Chantel pissed me off yet again..Chase was a split, and was cut..but decided to stay on, to allow for others to get cut, and take a 20 top that was going in Ecco..and as the manager and Chase tried to figure out who else would take, they came to Darrel...well this was fine and well..and then the party went down to 15, so even better..but then, then chantel came up to them and said "you know you can only have a max of seven guests per server, since it's 15 you need one more..." if I were Chase, I would have been going to jail for punching a bitch out cold..are you fucking kidding me..he un-cut himself to help take a party, helping everyone out..and then they go and pull that shit...are you for real???

the night wasn't a total loss, not yet, I got to work with Shady Lady..we talked, she mentioned how she hadn't seen me in awhile and missed me. and at one point while we were talking I brought up getting together sometime..maybe have a Valentine's Dinner together, basically asking her to be my Valentine..she said yes, and also commented how she had promised two other dinners as well, and she was going to spread them out..to have three nights/dates. I made a comment about whoring herself out in order to get free meals..and we quarreled with this and I think I took back my dinner date with her..who needs competition with two other guys when I have a hard enough time battling myself...

so on my way home I had a message to call mindy, she was freaking out about the rats..so we talked.apprently the docile and retarded Walley has attacked Gus, the mean one..went for the jugular and everything..so mindy got another cage and split them up. and then we talked..apparently Mindy had these big plans to get drunk with Fabi, Leah, and Adam K...whatever, she's just doing that because of my date..my date by that time I didn't want to go on...so I told mindy that if she needed a ride home, since she was taking a cab there, and if she wanted to makeout with me call me..only if these two conditions were to be true, not one or the other (ok..maybe the other...) give me a call..you know...she takes my complete seriousness so well..it makes me wonder....

so then I tried to text Laurissa and find out what she was doing.."getting ready for a wonderful night out"...ok, so I left some messages...then later the away message changed to "out *smiley face*" sooo, I texted Rachann to see if I was being blown off...but Rachann insisted that she wasn't trying to blow me off, and that they were all at yogi's and I should get over there...well little known fact, mindy had kinda joked around about whatever I do with Laurissa, don't go out to the bars since she'd be out there too..and she didn't want to make things awkward..

so in light of all this utter crap, I decided to go grocery shopping, the one thing I can do that still makes me happy, expect for when I spend every litle bit of cash I had on me...90 dollars later and I still don't know what to eat...

so by the time I got home from shopping, I had told Rachann and Chase that I'd probably stop by the places those two were..but my neck was cramping up, which made me even more tired..so I cooked a pizza and watched TV..then Adam K called me..wondering how the date was going on...telling me he didn't think it would work out..well, this little bit of "fuck off" wakes me, makes me call Rachann and I go to Yogi's

Well, I get there, she's outside talking to this guy I waited on yesterday morning, and then Adam Spaulding pulls up to drop some friends off..we all talk and then Laurissa comes out, and she's just as drunk as Rachann..and as I try to talk to her, this douche in an orange shirt comes up and does the whole "invade" thing..like he's been trying to work on this girl for awhile and doesn't want his efforts thwarted by some random guy trying to take advantage on the drunk girl..well in his mind...so I'm gearing up for fight or flight, the latter prevailing, then I get a call from mindy..she wants me to come over...and we'll end there













"come play with me"

Cold Turkey Sucks!
I mean sandwiches...

you know, you'd think I'd learn by now...

So it's the first of the month, a good pre-start to what I hope to keep going for the entire month..WRONG. So I go to work, mindy was surprised to see me for I picked up a shift for Robyn. Mindy was in one of the worst moods I had ever seen her in, and it's funny that I was in a decently good mood..our moods are directly inporportional to one-another.

the first thing she says was how it's cool that I am not talking to her..and I say my favorite double negative line, I'm not not talking to you...HA..apparently some of the text messages she sent me I actually didn't receive, which makes me think about what if I were to have received them, what would I have done with all that guilt of trying to take time away..

everyone at work asked me what was wrong with mindy, if we were fighting, and so forth..so by chance we got off at the same time and we went over to her place to talk things out..and talk we did, apparently I've been misinterpreting the situation, not fully understanding things, and possibly just overlooking things as human nature..whatever the case, it finally got through and I promised to make a difference..of course by then it was getting late, 4, I still needed to run to my house and be back to work by 430...

I had picked up a host shift with the promise of being first out and a free meal from Doug...I did so because, well, I needed the money and didn't make jack at lunch..it was a pretty busy night to be honest, we had a lengthy wait list, mainly two-tops, but still..I had at least four servers with four tables.. Elizabeth came in to say Hi to Drapper and me..and speaking of Drapper, that bastard was a moody little bitch all night, so I just stopped seating him after he complained about his third table....

I had a section to seat that consisted of three people..nine tables..so I got bored real quickly and started seating the entire dining room...it was fun, at one point I even took lead and then wanderer...but my night came to a close, not as soon as I would have liked, I was home by 830..and by 9 I was dead tired and decided to take a quick nap...

well that didn't happen, I got up at 1130, knowing damn well it would be virtually impossible to pump out two 4000 character essays on shit I didn't even care about in thirty minutes..only realizing later I had an hour and a half, but whatever....so I played DDR, showered (mainly because I reeked of Jimmy Johns) and started to get on with my night...

THEN mindy called, bored because of her night and wanted to do something..everyone else was asleep or doing something else...so she turned to me, and I reluctantly had her come over..with Taco Bell of course..my night was already ruined from missing my deadline, I had nothing left to offer, so why night kill it completely..

Mindy arrived with the Bell food and we watched Home Movies, talked, then finally decided to put The Blues Brothers in...we got an hour into it all and somehow it was already 5am..so because mindy had a 9 o'clock class she HAD to go to, we decided it best to go to sleep..

and there you have it, the end of the night, the end of a short lived run...the end..













"If he were my son, I'd kill him..and if I were his son, I'd kill him...shutup...."