Thanksgiving Traditions....
finally posted


















"smack that"

Marry X-mas...
only child style...

no, marry like in a chick's name you moron...

so it's Christmas, and that means...well, nothing much for me. i was totally going to ignore the day, just rake it up as some normal Sunday (yes i know it's Monday but i feel as if i were to think about it actually being a Monday i would then start mourning Tumbleweed and wanting Comedy Caravan to fill the void..neither of which are possible today). But then, then i was woken up by text messages, starting as early as 8am, wishing me a merry Christmas - well it would have been a merry day had i not been interrupted from my sleep state...

but i suppose being woken up from my sleep is actually what i am looking for lately...it seems as though my weird dream phenomena streak is continuing...for all week I've been troubled by dreams that seem all too surreal, the people, occurrences, emotions felt...ughh, it's enough to make me not want to go to sleep at night, or take pills to make me not dream - but i love my dreams oh so much, it's always fun to wake up in the morning and remember those crazy little details of all the strange happenings of when you were unaware...

but these dreams, these dreams can burn...an obvious psychological deduction would be that there's a lot unresolved issues in my past i had repressed..something that has been bottled up to the point where it is exploding in my subconscious...

you know, i do the best i can with what the people give me, i can't change the way people think, or the way they act, all i can do is try my best, giving them multiple opportunities to fix things..after that it's out of my hands..i just wished my mind thought that as well...

so back to this commercialized day...i had to explain the significance of this day vs new years to some foreigner i met in the rec center..he was confused as to why things were closed and nobody was going out today, but on new year's everything is packed.

so my day consisted of sitting around watching movies all day...i made very very few phone calls, maybe three, one included was my mother...and she talked to me for an hour..notice the way i stated that, she talked to me for an hour, rambling on and on about any random thing possible and giving the most over needed detail to only go on longer than needed...the highlight though came from her response to my x-mas dinner...

my dinner, well, all day meal - eggnog, 5-cheese freschetta pizza, and ice-cream = two kinds....ohhh, and then i cracked open a bottle of my wine (only because i saw people in one of the movies drinking a beer and suddenly i had the temptation to have a drink myself, can we say alcoholic?)

another highlight came from when i called amber out for not paying attention to me on the phone..she tried to make a comment on a topic that was being discussed, but it came a little too late, i let her finish her statement and rebutted with 'nice save but i've already changed the subject, care to comment on that?' ohhh, you know she's supposed to be the one who loves me, i expect TJ not to listen to me because he never pays attention while on the phone, and i know when i'm talking to him i'm really just saying it for my own benefit...but amber? really? come on! for her sake she will say at least she tried to humor me and comment on the topic that was being discussed mere moments ago, but we all know how i am and she knows how to keep up

so the movie's on the docket are Red Dragon, American Psycho, and possibly a third depending on how much time i spend online and playing NCAA..great huh? fuck it's a beautiful life...











"well, just don't spike the eggnog - why not? - cuz you said you were all alone, so there wouldn't be anyone to appreciate your drunk - that's why i got a cell phone mother"

I Don't Want Kids...
well, not currently..

as in for the future i would not like kids....

i should really discuss this with my wife first, but i'll continue anyways...so lately i've been in this mood where i really do not want to bring a child into this world.




Marry X-mas...
only child style...

no, marry like in a chick you moron...

so it's christmas, and that means...well, nothing much for me. i was totally going to ignore the day, just rake it up as some normal sunday (yes i know it's monday but i feel as if i were to think about it actually being a monday i would then start mourning Tumbleweed and wanting Comedy Caravan to fill the void..neither of which are possible today). But then, then i was woken up by text messages, starting as early as 8am, wishing me a merry christmas - well it would have been a merry day had i not been interrupted from my sleep state...

but i suppose being woken up from my sleep is actually what i am looking for lately...it seems as though my weird dream phenomena streak is continuing...for all week i've been troubled by dreams that seem all too sureal, the people, occurances, emotions felt...ughh, it's enough to make me not want to go to sleep at night, or take pills to make me not dream - but i love my dreams oh so much, it's always fun to wake up in the morning and remember those crazy litle details of all the strange happenings of when you were unaware...

but these dreams, these dreams can burn...an obvious psychological deduction would be that there's a lot uneresolved issues in my past i had repressed..something that has been bottled up to the point where it is exploding in my subconscience...

you know, i do the best i can with what the people give me, i can't change the way people think, or the way they act, all i can do is try my best, giving them multiple oppurtunities to fix things..after that it's out of my hands..i just wished my mind thought that as well...

so back to this commercialized day...i had to explain the significance of this day vs new years to some foreigner i met in the rec center..he was confused as to why things were closed and nobody was going out today, but on new year's everything is packed.

so my day consisted of sitting around watching movies all day...i made very very few phone calls, maybe three, one included was my mother...and she talked to me for an hour..notice the way i stated that, she talked to me for an hour, rambling on and on about any random thing possible and giving the most overneeded detail to only go on longer than needed...the highlight though came from her responce to my x-mas dinner...

my dinner, well, all day meal - eggnog, 5-cheese freschetta pizza, and ice-cream = two kinds....ohhh, and then i cracked open a bottle of my wine (only because i saw people in one of the movies drinking a beer and suddenly i had the temptation to have a drink myself, can we say alcoholic?)

another highlight came from when i called amber out for not paying attention to me on the phone..she tried to make a comment on a topic that was being discussed, but it came a little too late, i let her finish her statement and rebutted with 'nice save but i've already changed the subject, care to comment on that?' ohhh, you know she's supposed to be the one who loves me, i expect TJ not to listen to me because he never pays attention while on the phone, and i know when i'm talking to him i'm really just saying it for my own benefit...but amber? really? come on! for her sake she will say at least she tried to humor me and comment on the topic that was being discussed mere moments ago, but we all know how i am and she knows how to keep up

so the movie's on the docket are Red Dragon, American Psycho, and possibly a third depending on how much time i spend online and playing NCAA..great huh? fuck it's a beautiful life...











"well, just don't spike the eggnog - why not? - cuz you said you were all alone, so there wouldn't be anyone to appreciate your drunk - that's why i got a cell phone mother"

I'm Taking November/December Off!
wait, what? who ha?

I've danced my last dance, had my fun with mary - jane, and any other girls names you can think of, lived like a rockstar minus the alcohol but plenty of STD's...now what?

For many people, it's hard from them to grasp the concept of "taking a month off" - who does that? Well, I don't know if it's been done before, but I sure as hell am doing it now...Why you ask, just because...

As I stated in the opener I've had my fun this summer, one of my better ones, so where do we go from here. I did have plans of going to Florida, but those fell through into the dark shades of other people, never to be found again. That did put a sting into my "invincible" drive I was riding. I got greedy and started believing in my own propaganda, and in reality this "month off" is more of a distraction of failure for me to regroup. It's only a momentary setback into the life that is Jason Angus, I'll be back on my feet in no time, somewhere- anywhere, with anything being possible.

School? Why does everyone in the world want me to return to school...is that something that we all must do before we die...well, I attended, it wasn’t my cup of tea, so I left. Does that make me any less of a person who did graduate -possibly. I've always viewed the lesser, stupid, majority of people to be not up to my standards - and god help them should they have not did well in school...ever walk down the hall and smell that stench in the air, the air of ignorance and stupidity...yeah, well I hated them and I always thought I would be better than the mass and attend (and graduate) at some prestigious university.

Enter UofM. Sure UofM is a great school, highly selective to get into, even though it is a public school with over 30,000+ students...but, I wanted some quick path to my degree, not this run around elective bullshit that had nothing to do with anything besides pissing me off. That and the fact that the times, they were a changing. What once used to be something esteemed, now it appeared that any 'ol Joe-fuckface was graduating with some sort of degree in LS&A...

So now what? What lies before me...as I have always stated I'm a jack of all trades yet a master of none, so where does that place you in life? Of course I'd like to have some sort of career path that provided me with a lot of money - yes I am that superficial...but that's only because I have these crazy spontaneous needs that want to be fulfilled. I mean I have bought a new phone ever year and a half now going on six years, and these are always the expensive top of the line phones too. I'm a gadget freak what can I say.

But I also want to be ale to have fun in my job. If not have fun there be able to do what I want in my free time, whatever that may be - again providing the financial situation to allow for this to be possible.

So it seems I'm stuck behind a rock and a hard place - not wanting to go to college for anything, yet realizing you just about need that today like in the past you needed a high school diploma to do anything...don't get me wrong, I love to learn about new things, I'm just not the self-taught man. I mean sure I'll pick p on things but I prefer when people sit down and explain things to me (kinda sounds like school eh?)

I've always wanted to do something big with my life, right now it seems as if I'm living the dream - but it's everyone else's dreams I am living, I've got to figure out what mine are and start living those. Until that happens I'm just gonna be searching everywhere possible, doing everything possible in hopes that I may be able to track it down...I won't know what's right until I eliminate all the other options.












"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

Best Win Ever…
..oh, and lots of drama…

Seriously the best comeback in sports history happened last night

Let’s get right down to it, matt drapper was hosting a little “Finals are Over/I’m Graduating” Party at his place, and naturally TJ and I were invited – rather this was one of TJ’s infamous moments of, “Oh yeah, forgot to tell you but we’re going over to Drapper’s tonight”, and because I carry absolutely no clought in this relationship I just roll with the punches.

So we get to Drapper’s with the pretense that if it’s just Matt jerking off with Adam and his girlfriend we would be leaving at 2 – which gave us 22 minutes…luckily however the party was not a bust (well, not yet)…we were greeted and almost instantly challenged to Beer Pong Vs the House Champs – drapper and his friend…

TJ won the series of Rock/Paper/Scissors, which ultimately decided who was to go first in the match for the title of the world. Our team name – The Jedi’s, and the irony of the teammates would come from our attire – TJ was wearing his Ohio State Sweatshirt and I my UofM hoodie..ohhh the comradery. The game got off to a promising start, TJ striking first making it one cup one the second round, but it was answered right back by the House Champs. The House Champs would then go on an unabated streak that finally ended with my first score of the game, but by then it was our 8 Cups to their 4 Cups, and both TJ and Drapper had lost interest in the game…but the other kid and I decided to continue on in the spirit of the game and drinking – I was willing to go down in a ball of flames before throwing in the towel…

The game continued on at a slow pace, with both the other kid and I not making any of our shots, but that would soon change and as would The Jedi’s ‘Luck’, or rather force. All of a sudden the game clicked for me and I utilized the force to hone in on the skill of throwing a ping-pong ball into a plastic cup. I was starting to make one ball every round, with the other shot just barely missing – one literally went into the cup and bounced right out, robbed – and it was usually on the first shot I got it. In four rounds of play the Champs (with Drapper coming into play every now and then to finish me off) were able to match me on three accounts – that made the score Jedi’s=4 Champs=1…and this was when the true champions were born. It was my turn, I fired the first ball and made it (as I said it was wasn’t uncommon for me to make the first shot in this series), but almost immediately I fired the second ball. The other kid didn’t even have his hand out of the first cup when the other ball went in. I was ecstatic, not only did I just bring the game within reach, making it a close game 2-1, but by making both shots Team Jedi regained possession of the two balls. I ran to TJ to tell him of the news and gave him a ball to throw.

Happy to know that we still had a chance at victory he threw and made it in! Seeing him come off the bench in this clutch moment and knocking out the first cup, I passed on my ball to him for another shot. Feeling the pressure he threw it up and it just missed. The Champs now had a chance to knock out their last cup and shut us out. With a 1 – 1 game a lot of options were available to us that were running threw my mind. Even with a virtual make by the Champs we still had some outs to tie it up. Drapper was first to throw getting really into the game now since he saw how badly their lead was blown. His toss was up but it was way over shot! TJ and I were doing everything possible to distract the Champs attention as they threw. The other kid threw right after Drapper and his bounced shortly before the cup! Now TJ and I both had the balls and were ready. TJ again fired first with a rocket straight shot and it went in! We went into a premature celebration forgetting about the possibilities the other team still had. Drapper took one of the balls to attempt to make in, but missed! Then someone mentioned how I still had yet to throw from our turn when TJ knocked out the last cup.

So there I was, the pressure was on, with this shot I could shut out The Champs possibility of an overtime. If I were to miss the Champs would still have the other kid as an option to make the shot, putting us in sudden death, but the Champs would not be able to win in that round with a miss from me seeings how Drapper had thrown in an attempt to tie moments ago. So shifting over to my right in the doorframe and pushing back the crowd in the kitchen with my left hand I raised my right hand up holding the ball between my thumb and index finger…knowing I didn’t have much time before those behind me in the kitchen would get restless as drunks get and stumble their way out and into me I fired a shot similar to the fashion that of TJ’s…it was a bullet and it was dead on! With that shot we sealed our victory and the celebration began. I jumped up and down twice, with the second bounce being caught in midair by TJ, where he began to hump me against the wall..we were victors and it was amazing.

Then the drama happened..something with someone….drunk people who like to start things that were forgotten and put rightfully so in the past…So TJ, Joe, Steph, and myself all departed to Yogi’s, leaving the drama behind and going somewhere else where we weren’t the enemy..

After all that, my night came to a close..well kinda..i got back to the apartment and watched Swingers with commentary then went over to the nice rec center to read and type this up…










"I made her a drink!”

Greatest Night Ever....
..ever...

for reals, this monday night was the saving grace for this entire 2 month off drought...

Internet Down..
be back later...

no, for reals..talk about good timing

in the meantime, enjoy this craziness.....

http://media.www.bsudailynews.com/media/storage/paper849/news/2006/11/28/News/Do.They.Have.What.It.Takes.To.Be.Muncies.Finest-2509539.shtml?sourcedomain=www.bsudailynews.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com










"for reals?"

Fucking MTV!!!!
why's it got to be so hard...

and why does everything suck tonight/this morning

So after the fucking geek patrol left the rec center i had the liberty of changing the channel on the tv...just flipping through and i came across the mTV channel...a band was playing that caught my attention..they weren't anything really good, but it was synthy with a decent drum and bass beat...so it had potential...i waited patiently watching the entire video without being distracted by anything to catch the group's name..well guess what, mTV doesn't like to put the names of the artists or song title for the videos they are playing...if you are lucky they'll post it at the beginning, but that really doesn't help out that much if your eyes aren't glued onto the screen..i can be sitting here, a song will start with some slow and quiet introduction, when it finally gets going i'll look up, but the title will be fading...and then there is nothing at the end of the video...

what the fuck is wrong with the world, honestly, things shouldn't be this hard....whatever happened to waiting a few seconds, showing the title and all that jazz, and then at the end of the song, putting it up again...and there was a show once, i remember this, that had the artist name and song title up there for the entire song...what the shit people...

i even went so far as to look up on mtv.com to see if they listed the currently played videos or something like that..nope, no such luck...today has not gotten off to a good foot, and it has yet to start..











"i'm gonna throw this macbook across the room..."

This! is why I don't Post!!!
..fucking blogger...

fucking piece of shit false sense of security....

so i was typing up a blog and perusing the web at the same time, yes i know i hate to get interrupted or stop once i get going but this wasn't too vital, i was just trying to get into sync...anyways, i was looking at some videos, finding more of me dancing at CP, and one of the videos killed my browser and there it all went..all 8 of my tabs...wtf mate!?

so i re-open firefox and bring up my blogger account...go to the posts part and use the tool to "recover post" and what does it do...nothing...still a blank canvas for me to post on...wow...way to think that the recover post tool may actually work and my post may not be lost...

you know, this happened last night as well...so this just makes me really mad now...fuck this shit..











"fuck blogger....i quit"

Am I in a Timewarp???
..or is the world just stupid...

somebody just tell me what's going on, i just woke up...

Alright so i know that my day/time was all messed up, but for reals, this is just weird...so yes i got up really late today, who even knows what time 6pm? but in all fairness i went to bed at 11am, just as others days were beginning, or about to, mine was ending....i guess it's right there where the problem begins and thus is my timeline for punishment, follow with me...

i eventually wake, do whatever it is i do...3am rolls around (for the record i wrote out the three and followed it with am, yeah, try to do that and make sense...) and TJ strolls in so i gather my things and start to head to the rec center with the hope that the geek squad or any individual member was not there...as i exit the apartment TJ makes a comment saying that the geeks should be long gone by now since it was so late, they have their geeky things to do and would be asleep...my mind instantly flashed to the scene in Back to the Future III when Marty is concerned about running into the movie theater Indians and Doc tells him he isn't thinking fourth dimensionally......so once i make it to the rec center those Indians will be in the past...

well check out these mother fuckers, i walk into the rec center lacking a sense of worriedness and who do i see, well the whole flippin' gang was there - Geeks 1 & 2 along with Geekettes 1 & 2 - and to top if off they've been drinking...the effeminate Fred look-a-like geek #2 being the drunkest...great...i was about three seconds away from covering my balls and going to the rec center across the street, but i persevered and stayed...partly because i am lazy and the fear of going to the rec center i've never been in before just scared me into staying...and it looked like the geeks were finishing up..hopefully...

so i sat at the table surfing the web to block out the geeks touching each other, i went to a high school that didn't have walls, i've been trained to tune out anything...so online i noticed something even stranger....it appeared as if people were living as if it were afternoon...i read many away messages that went something like "eating lunch brb" or "off to work, back for dinner with the girls" and so forth...but those were away messages for people who had them, as in, there were plenty of people online without away messages and were not idle..

so here i am, after being up for only a couple hours or so, going to sleep in the afternoon and waking up in what appeared to be the same time...i don't find anything more disturbing than being confused by time....this wasn't to the extent of what normally gets to me...like waking up after accidentally falling asleep, looking at the clock, seeing it says something like 1030 and you were supposed to be somewhere at 8...but it's 8 as in the next day, you're still on the same day you fell asleep in, you don't need to get ready for school or work or anything like that...and that little bit of panic and stress makes the nap you just took null and void...

so i got nothing left to say, and i have no idea where i was going with this...it's actually 830 in the morning as i finish up this post...when i started the original one at 330...yeah, this is the third time i have wrote this post, getting only to the same point every time...and you all know how much i hate re-writing a post....











"Who needs clocks, because when i'm with you, time stands still..."

I Am Powerless...
it's like kryptonite..

I'm i getting old or am i losing it?

So december is here, yay...whatever











"When I was faster I was always behind..."

A New Post for the Ages...
..it'll be lost on everyone

the more things are possible, the less likely we are to do them

ughhhh, so i got to get back into the groove of writing, in some form or another. At Cedar Point i lost the access to blog so i took up the age old art of writing down..with pen and paper...but the season grew on, i got busier - both with work and my social life - and writing died...you'd think with more going on in my life i'd have more to write about, but no, the two are inversely related...

anyways, when the season went to weekends only i had a good four days of relaxation at a time..time to pick up the journaling once again..but low and behold i was having problems with the system. any blog i tried to upload wasn't going through - even old posts i had saved as drafts back before i left for CP weren't going through...this troubled me for some time...i started implementing the "Notes" option on Facebook as some sort of blogging device...i liked it for the simple fact that if people were to read their news feed it would tell them i had made a new note and they should go and check it out...reaching out to a larger group of people in a community where they already were....but it wasn't until thanksgiving when i finally met up with the man himself zach baiel when he told me what my problem was..something along the lines of the FTP server address had changed, whatever.

So now i'm back..but better than before, hardly. this way of movable type is lost on me still...i'd like to get back into it all...i mean i have had the inkling to start writing again, and when i say writing i mean like something worthwhile - all my past ideas that are now collecting dust i want to blow off and rekindle a fire with...all those little movie ideas and everything else..it's what i want to do, yet i'm not ready for it - if i were to attempt anything now it would be pure crap....

ughh, but what's the use, this is more therapeutic than anything else - i guess i'll have to just keep on keeping on and we'll just wait and see what comes out..











"Your efforts will go on justly rewarded"

Do I Care?
..cuz i thought i did

but i suppose the real question is, how did i get left out, or let myself get out?

So i like to peruse the internet, it's becoming a friend of mine lately, and one of the many things i like to check out is facebook - who's not guilty of that? well i get the news feed - because i fucking like it! - and i notice something that seems a little off to me. i'm always seeing little news feeds about how this one group of my friends all comment on each other's walls, are adding pictures of each other, and planning events. these people i worked and partied alongside with at Cedar Point...we were a close nit little group, hell, my CP baby's momma and CP wife are in this group i'm talking about, but it seems as though my connections with the group have been cut. I can't explain it...i mean it's not like the distance thing is a factor, you got people from all over still talking and meeting up...

so it got me thinking...is this a bad on my part...did i not try to keep in contact with anyone...you know what, no, i'm not taking the blame for this...i've probably made the last contact with all those people anyways, i did my part, reached out my hand..if they don't wanna respond to it, to hell with them....

ohhhhh, which brings up another major pain i am dealing with....the lack of response from people i try and talk to...but i will save that for another day...

anyways, i've lost all my thoughts, and this wasn't very coherant, but i need to start writing again.....ughhhhh











"ughhhhhhhhhh"