Permission To...

Ahh well crap, what do I need permission for...well I think it originally was going to say, permission to Rant....but that's not the case, my fingers bear dead weight and fatigue is rapidly setting in elsewhere..

I had a lot of opportunities to do things tonight, whether it was trip to Indy, trip to Lafayette, trip to the hangout with the RR crew, and some other things...I chose to stay here and well, what did I do....

I just chuckled..ok, now the best part was what I was chuckling about: hair...whatever, had to be there I guess...

lets see, driving around, thrifting, sitting in a basement with a group of people who all love each other..that's the everyday thing..oh, and better yet, having the night off from target when there is a double truck, yeah there's my highlight for the week...well, thus far, I mean there still is friday into saturday...

I guess that's what I need permission on, Friday night...permission to have a good time, permission to seal the deal maybe..yeah, we'll go for that last one..

Pete and I had a good heart to heart tonight, good times. it's funny because we are so sympathetic to each others past problems and current positions; we're leading different lives yet with the same set of obstacles in a way...such a short entry here for this and I apologize, but it definitely deserves more than what I just wrote..

Pete will be leaving soon, well soon enough that is....come august he'll be leaving...on a jet plane...for that we are both certain.....but in the case of me, well anything is possible, even I know that....with as much positivity that my plane will be en route with his, I can be just as certain it will be going the opposite way as well, it's all up in the air, yay ( note the sarcastic undertone on that yay)

I get online..take down my away message and people suddenly come back, come unidle, get online...what's the deal..I think I should go now..

so alright I'm going....ummm, if anyone wants to go to the show, just let me know..though I'll make you drive seperate, no picking up people this time...I've got plans for after the show, so unless you got a ride home from it, be my guest, I'm doing my thing....goodnight ladies and gentlemen...

It's Been A Long Time...

Alright..here we go..not much to say, I'm here, typing, just for..some reason.....

Ummm, everyday I work in a day closer to I don't..and what I mean by that is, every day I work is a closer day til I get fired, ha yeah.....Pete and I lovingly joke about it....but it's not only at Target, that damn bird is fucking around too...

basically things are getting out of hand, and I'm fed up, I've been voicing my mouth like no other, making everything a battle, in reality causing more problems...I'm good for that aren't I...yeah, I've been called into the office at target for saying things that were out of line..apparently I can't call some one dyslexic (even though I am) nor can I call my bosses mother fuckers....oh well, it ain't stopping me....

and reddy, oh man, I go in, do my thing, and get shit for doing something I shouldn't, whatever it may be, I'm not sure, rules change every day and only certain people enforce certain things....basically they have over hired and the novelty of the restaurant is running thin so they need to cut back on the labor, hence more firings, I've already seen 4 in the past 48 hours.....

so what else is new, I can honestly say not much without everything thinking more of it, so yeah....

it came as a shock to see she's listening to Muse, that blew my mind, especially after the comments "we" have made the past week, mainly because the group saw them in concert on friday, interesting...

speaking of shows (I originally typed shoes, which reminds me of something funny..) this Friday..ehh ehh, come on, you know you want to go....Actually you might want to hold back, til the next show...this one will most definitely be sold out and they'll have to stop letting people in again...so come if you want, come with me and I'll be sure to get you in..ironically enough it's at the Muse...

so yeah, if you need me, call, just because I may not be "around" doesn't make me unavailable, just call, it's always worked before...if anything you're pushing me further away, so whatever...

Stuck inside of mobile with the memphis blues again...

Well I should be off again, random here and there's, doesn't matter where really those who are in the know can still reach me.....and quite frankly this post didn't achieve anything I wanted it to, and I smell roasted marshmallows...

Ohhh For the Love of....

It's 4-20, whatever that means....insert all obligatory comments here....yeah, glad we got that out of the way *rolls eyes* on a lighter note, Happy Birthday to Hitler....everyone else, enjoy your day...I know I will *smirks with slighted eyes*

This Just Is...I Don't Know

This is my dance..look at me go...doing my dance, hell yeah...

Anyways, I'll explain that one in a second...wait, I forgot what I was going to say..

Oh, so people loved my last away message, it brought on a lot of, "huh?"'s, I'm being mildly random with a pinch of madman....

Oh, let me gripe about this....I finally start posting again, and the first person to comment was..Travis Lane? Go figure, I didn't even know he knew about my site, well partially, but still..he even made comments on my Xanga...but I suppose that got the ball rolling and people are starting to comment again...

Speaking of commenting, the last person who commented, anonymous, go figure, I don't know who you are, thanks for what thought...what's going on, am I being stalked??? Anyways..I'm cool wit it..

Happy dance...

I've had the urge to play guitar, don't ask me why..but haven't fulfilled it..yet....

Been listening to Cohen again...and as I listen to my self compilated CD I ask myself, what the hell was I thinking when I put together the order of the songs...do I smell some more of my highly demanded compilation CD's??? I know I am a badass when I want to be..but just what is my mood here....not ready yet, let it work....

Oh...Suzanne, yes, definitely listening to Suzanne by Cohen...I think the lyrics are brilliantly linked into my life right now, well in two parts, ha..yeah yeah....


Oh my, if only some people knew my "little secrets" like the others knew..I mean, they aren't secrets, just little tidbits of information about myself I tend to throw out every now and then...Impartiality to certain things...what all the noises meant...It's hard breaking into two worlds 20 years in the making and making them together, but hey..

my rambles are completely utterly incomplete...

it's so going to storm...I shouldn't have made my way back here tonight....well I guess I'll wrap this bad boy up and sit out in the thunderstorm, and look to the sky with my thoughts of, whatever it is I think about....very indecisive, but good mood.....

Oh My God....
Zach and Milgram Together....

So I just read this article here...involving a prank-phone caller who says he is an authority figure, a company official or police officer...and people do what he tell them to, over the phone..

Of course you an do your own searching for Milgram on Google...but yeah, it's almost the same thing...obedience to Authority....

See, these "experiments" should not be deemed "unethical"...the are very valuable findings..I still can't believe they condemned Milgram for doing what he did, yet saying it was ingenious of him at the same time, using his findings today in their theories..

in order to get "correct" and "true" findings for experiments such as that, you cannot tell the "victims" involved what is going on..I mean come on..I can rant all day about that but I won't....you see my point...

but yeah, I know this pranker is no psychologist, though if her were it would be great....but anyways, enjoy the article....

Trying to be someone you're not, in hopes of attaining something you can't have....

That random thought fluttered into my head, well the beginning part of it at least..as the thought came the "answer", the last part there, came as well...

I love it when that happens...it finishes my thought before I even have a chance at it...well I guess there's some explaining if you're not me, which I believe the majority of you people are..maybe...

so I made a Xanga post today, what in the hell was that for, who knows, randomness...anyways...

so how often do you find yourself doing just that? I don't put up fronts FOR people..and I guess I don't do it for myself either..I mean you do have a couple exceptions....things you tend to do or not do to ease a situation, like not swearing in church...random example, but you can kinda see wearing in driving...

So I consider myself to be a random person, some will say this more than others, all depends on my mood really..but random, in that crazed sort of way, that's me....

then why does it seem as if I am a bit more tame lately..hell there's a lot of things going on, things I normally would bend over backwards for, but everythings flying over my head like a jet plane..I can't actually say it's like water off a duck's back, because in reality I'm not seeing everything, so the plane metaphor will do....

why am in this state, what the hell is wrong with me....I had a mini-vacation..I want to take more I'll tell you that....though this was thee most unproductive weekend ever...I blew so much money, and really don't remember on what...

if you try too hard, you'll find yourself further than before...but where's the line between trying too much and not going all out for it....beats me, play it by ear....

wow, I'm getting really random with this aren't I?

paragraphs breaks....you like that????

oh god, the familiarity...the spot...the head thing...it's weird...

and speaking of weird, well let's go with crazy...how's comes this time it doesn't work?

wow...the damned title keeps staring at me, what..what...why you looking at me like that....

alright, enough one liners, I'm through....(and yes I see the irony of saying I'm through with the one liners, and this being one in itself..shudup)

So Let's Get To It...

Alright, I was going to ramble on about my Birthday events this and that, but there's no time, well least not right now, I've got other things on my out to bitch about....

Alright, I will say this, Vince was in town and his presence was a big enough birthday present to suite me..even tough I know he wasn't here for my birthday exactly, it was his spring break, but you get the point I'm making anyways....

so like I said, Vince was in town, but where was everyone else, where were you guys??? That's my main gripe....I don't know what to say really, I think I may be more hurt by it than he is (if he is at all) I mean honestly, do you people not know how to act like townies? I mean sure..when people come back to town, there's some animosity, "how dare they think they can waltz back into our lives and drop everything for them" I know, I went through it all....but you eventually break down those walls and spend at least one frickin' day with the person. and especially by the third, fourth, and fifth person to come back, you should have warmed yourself up to the process anyhow.

So I tried to visit with the guy as much as I could, and thankfully I had my weekend vacation deal going on so I could do that...but earlier in the week proved a little bit more difficult, what with work and all...and yeah, I would "ditch" Vince at 10 in the evening to visit with other friends who were providing me with room and board...no hard feelings though...but when we made calls to others, they wouldn't answer their phones, or would answer - have to see what was going on - then never call us back. Kudos goes to jimmy who did come out with us, yay...everyone else can burn...

so Vince, this is an outpour to you...I know you are thinking about whether you should stay in Terre Haute this summer or come back...it's obvious these townie fucks aren't appreciative of what's going round them and they've all fallen into the wrong tree...so I'm sorry, I apologize on behalf of the townies, and those ruining our reputation...stay away...stay away for as long as you can, and take the words of bob, never look back.

Happy 21 Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me...Happy Birth-Day you sexy son-of-a-bitch. Happy Birthday to Me....

Really, in all honesty, had you heard the way I said it, it wasn't narcissistic at all...

04/04/04

How badass of a date is that?!?!? yeah, I like it..and it's a Sunday, Palm Sunday....I remember when my birthday was on Palm Sunday, a certain Jimmy C left a present for me on my car..god that rocked.

Speaking of dates....get this one, I go to Target and look at my schedule, I only got three days...and then I find myself asking, why do I have off the 8th through the 12th...and I look closer, better yet, why does it say I requested off the 8th through the 12th..so then they dig through the forms to find the "alledged" requests off...and yeah, apparently it's my birthday or some shit....

Go to Red Robin, same thing, don't remember the requests off, but yeah, now I got what seems like an eternity of bumming around doing nothing...wow...

and yeah, I really don't expect anything from anyone, I know I won't get money or presents or things I need...maybe a card from my grandparents, a call from someone who remembered..you can't always get what you want, yeah I know that one...

>>you know, for being such a fucking bitch.....

someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told them it doesn't matter, just try to let me have a good time....I guess, doesn't matter, I got everything I need?

oh, my mother...god do I have stories...well she "got" me a card..I say that with a doubt in my voice, the card did have her handwritting on the inside, but the envelope, that was my grandma's..so it makes me wonder if my mom got a card, or my grandma got the card and had my mother sign it..hmmmmm

so yeah, many many days off from work....legal to do whatever I please...let's see where I end up

Does It Really Matter What I Did Last Night???

Nahhh, didn't think so

though I suppose some of the words could be change around and create a new question...

Hey dude, cut the crap, I mean honestly.....you can only send so much of the vomitous love in our direction, sheesh...

And anything I would say today, nobody would take seriously..I mean it's April Fool's Day, so I'll just have to wait til next time...but you'll get yours, don't you fret...

bastards....

So before I....well, yeah, where do I want to go..never been on a plane before....I still get a tingle when I see them fly above me....but I've got to use these things before I..well..yeah....I men come on, me and a "spouse" fly for free, who wants in on this...I heard we can even get discounts at hotels to the places we go..if not, let's just stay up for 48 hours and enjoy it all..damn straight...

I'm out for now, good tidings..