Happy Leap Year Day!!!
Yeah, as the title suggests, Happy Leap Year Day...whoo hoo...another day...just another day :-
Here's some info for ya:
In the Gregorian calendar, which is the calendar used by most modern countries, the following rules decides which years are leap years:
1. Every year divisible by 4 is a leap year.
2. But every year divisible by 100 is NOT a leap year
3. Unless the year is also divisible by 400, then it is still a leap year.
This means that year 1800, 1900, 2100, 2200, 2300 and 2500 are NOT leap years, while year 2000 and 2400 are leap years.
This actually means year 2000 is kind of special, as it is the first time the third rule is used in many parts of the world.
In the old Julian Calendar, there was only one rule: Every year divisible by 4 is a leap year. This calendar was used before the Gregorian calendar was adopted.
Why are leap years needed?
The mean time between two successive vernal equinoxes is called a tropical year, and it is about 365.2422 days long. This means that it takes 365.2422 days for the earth to make one revolution around the sun (the time is takes to orbit the sun).
Using a calendar with 365 days would result in an error of 0.2422 days or almost 6 hours per year. After 100 years, this calendar would be more than 24 days ahead of the seasons (tropical year), which is not a desirable situation. It is desirable to align the calendar with the seasons, and make the difference as small as possible.
By adding leap years approximately every 4th year, this difference between the calendar and the seasons can be reduced significantly, and the calendar will follow the seasons much more closely than without leap years.
(One day is here used in the sense of "mean solar day", which is the mean time between two transits of the sun across the meridian of the observer.)
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Oh Here's Some More For Ya....
Alright...I just experienced the next group of the reasons why RR is killing me...it's so stupid you'll laugh...
I just walked into the kitchen, looked for some food, I think I washed my hands as well, and I was talking to myself as I looked for the food..as I exited the kitchen I said coming out, not any louder than what I was talking to myself like, just said it along with my conversation to myself..."coming out"..that's part of the things we have to say..like when you go in the kitchen it's "coming in", leaving, "coming out", if there's a corner you yell "corner" whenever you wash you hands you yell "hand wash" or "washing hands" and everyone around you has to repeat it...
so onto the hand washing thing..Whenever you enter the kitchen/DMO area, before you leave you must wash your hands..this is not good for an OCD person like myself..I once killed that little bug of constantly washing my hands every two seconds and look at me now..it's' back full force. I swear my hands are going to fall off because I wash them so much..
And what's funny is I find myself at times saying or wanting to say "hand wash" whenever I do wash my hands out of work. But it doesn't stop there, I also say any other little thing like "behind ya" and crap like that....and you know what I realized..things would be a lot better if people did do that at work, such as target..I'm always saying those things in appropriate places and times, and it actually does help...
alright..so that's still some of why RR is killing me slowly...more to come...
Alright...I just experienced the next group of the reasons why RR is killing me...it's so stupid you'll laugh...
I just walked into the kitchen, looked for some food, I think I washed my hands as well, and I was talking to myself as I looked for the food..as I exited the kitchen I said coming out, not any louder than what I was talking to myself like, just said it along with my conversation to myself..."coming out"..that's part of the things we have to say..like when you go in the kitchen it's "coming in", leaving, "coming out", if there's a corner you yell "corner" whenever you wash you hands you yell "hand wash" or "washing hands" and everyone around you has to repeat it...
so onto the hand washing thing..Whenever you enter the kitchen/DMO area, before you leave you must wash your hands..this is not good for an OCD person like myself..I once killed that little bug of constantly washing my hands every two seconds and look at me now..it's' back full force. I swear my hands are going to fall off because I wash them so much..
And what's funny is I find myself at times saying or wanting to say "hand wash" whenever I do wash my hands out of work. But it doesn't stop there, I also say any other little thing like "behind ya" and crap like that....and you know what I realized..things would be a lot better if people did do that at work, such as target..I'm always saying those things in appropriate places and times, and it actually does help...
alright..so that's still some of why RR is killing me slowly...more to come...
Glutton For Punishment...
Ohh man, isn't that title the truth..I am a glutton for punishment..in every aspect of my life, I think you all would concur to that, from my choices in life, to where I work, what I do, scars... It seems as if every little (ok maybe not little) thing I encounter in my life causes some sort of strife... Every obstacle gives me bruises, every path on which I travel has overgrown brush that scrapes my skin, and even the gemstones in my life cut my fingers with their edges.....and yet I still love it all....
I tell you, I hate working at RR, for many different reasons. Alright one, as I have mentioned before, it is completely bust ass work...if it was a person's only job..then they might be able to handle it...but if you have to work two jobs, like some of the people I know..then yeah we're going to die shortly.
Take last night for example: I was scheduled to work a double, no biggie, but it is a Saturday...going to be crazy...So I got to work at 11:30 I was given my section, A1, and I went to work...Now for the first three or four hours I was only covering two tables, the two tables the Hospos highlighted for my section, well there was a third, and I should have known better but it really didn't cross my mind...I would have liked to pick it up for that day though, afternoon tips suck...we're talking like three bucks...damn old people. So then I started working those three tables.at 5 Chris came up to me "reminding" (telling) that my section has changed to C6..and I said the person for A1 hasn't came yet..so I waited it out, figured I'd cover both til she showed, besides my tables were already occupied in C6 from the day server's people..so I was covered...but that's how it stayed for the rest of the night, me covering A1 and C6..it was insane..two completely different areas of the store to be covered...I told the people in C I would do my best, but if they want to pick up the table, just ask and I'll more than likely give it to them....So between the six tables I was averaging working four, mostly because one of the tables would be attached to another parties table so it eliminated one more table to watch for me...But there was a time I was actually covering all 6 tables..it was insane..When I went to the POS terminal and brought up my tables the lady behind me was just in awe...the screen was filled with tables...it was insane. So I worked a 12 hour shift with absolutely no break and no down time at all. By the end of the night I was sitting at my people's tables to take their order..and throwing in comments how they could stay for another three hours because I was tired of having so many tables...and actually most liked tat, they liked the fact they weren't being rushed out of their even though there were people outside waiting...I made them feel special in a way..
So yeah, bust ass work wit no breaks....I tell ya. I don't know how I will survive..but of course, because it is killer on me I will enjoy it in some sick little fashion and stick with it. Alright, I'll wrap it up here...I've got more..but I'll just put it in another post....man...pain....I'm worn out...
Ohh man, isn't that title the truth..I am a glutton for punishment..in every aspect of my life, I think you all would concur to that, from my choices in life, to where I work, what I do, scars... It seems as if every little (ok maybe not little) thing I encounter in my life causes some sort of strife... Every obstacle gives me bruises, every path on which I travel has overgrown brush that scrapes my skin, and even the gemstones in my life cut my fingers with their edges.....and yet I still love it all....
I tell you, I hate working at RR, for many different reasons. Alright one, as I have mentioned before, it is completely bust ass work...if it was a person's only job..then they might be able to handle it...but if you have to work two jobs, like some of the people I know..then yeah we're going to die shortly.
Take last night for example: I was scheduled to work a double, no biggie, but it is a Saturday...going to be crazy...So I got to work at 11:30 I was given my section, A1, and I went to work...Now for the first three or four hours I was only covering two tables, the two tables the Hospos highlighted for my section, well there was a third, and I should have known better but it really didn't cross my mind...I would have liked to pick it up for that day though, afternoon tips suck...we're talking like three bucks...damn old people. So then I started working those three tables.at 5 Chris came up to me "reminding" (telling) that my section has changed to C6..and I said the person for A1 hasn't came yet..so I waited it out, figured I'd cover both til she showed, besides my tables were already occupied in C6 from the day server's people..so I was covered...but that's how it stayed for the rest of the night, me covering A1 and C6..it was insane..two completely different areas of the store to be covered...I told the people in C I would do my best, but if they want to pick up the table, just ask and I'll more than likely give it to them....So between the six tables I was averaging working four, mostly because one of the tables would be attached to another parties table so it eliminated one more table to watch for me...But there was a time I was actually covering all 6 tables..it was insane..When I went to the POS terminal and brought up my tables the lady behind me was just in awe...the screen was filled with tables...it was insane. So I worked a 12 hour shift with absolutely no break and no down time at all. By the end of the night I was sitting at my people's tables to take their order..and throwing in comments how they could stay for another three hours because I was tired of having so many tables...and actually most liked tat, they liked the fact they weren't being rushed out of their even though there were people outside waiting...I made them feel special in a way..
So yeah, bust ass work wit no breaks....I tell ya. I don't know how I will survive..but of course, because it is killer on me I will enjoy it in some sick little fashion and stick with it. Alright, I'll wrap it up here...I've got more..but I'll just put it in another post....man...pain....I'm worn out...
Saturday, February 28, 2004
It's All About Who You Know....
Yeah, life, work, everything, is all about who you know..that's why it's good to have so many diverse friends. Everyone's always trying to get breaks, get their breaks, and are more than grateful when they find that special interest person who can help them out. The words, "hey man, I got a friend who can get us/you the hook up" Those are the words we long for. And actually we want that hook-up to be ours so we will continue to work with that third party hook-up, working through the middle man until it's a direct link..Hey it's all about the more people you know, and the more they can better you...it's everywhere...
well I'm having this experience at my new job. It started with a busser..and granted that's the bottom level of "hook-ups" you can get, I was happy with this little attachment. The kid reminds me of Mike Fisher, really he does. I think it all got started one night I wasn't busy with tables so I was busting other ones I walked by..Well it just so happened to be in his section. And whenever bussers see a server busting a table they get up on it and help them out or completely take over...Well he had a couple tables in his area and I kept going back to help him..So now whenever we are working, he'll come by and ask if I need anything, tables busted, wiped down, anything, even when it's not his section....I was happy with this..
then my next achievement would be getting the hook up with the hosts/hostesses/hospitality...yeah that's a weird mixture right there...Let's see you got the group of young girls 17-18, the two gay guys, and then a handful of older girls and ladies I guess you could call them....So for me, I got three of the older group working for me, the oldest of the three tries, but confuses my section up with others, it's alright, she gets me tables..The other two are alright..I don't know how much they've been working for me though..they kinda scare me in fact, always trying to give me a hug and such..yeah scary...And I've got one of the gay guys on my side..I swear he reminds me of mike jung, so I'm good with him...and then I got three of the younger girls on my side, although I think they are a little to out there to actually be on someone's side..either that or too whorey and are just playing everyone..whatever the case may be, I still got to work on them if I want tables...
then my final most success has come in the past two days...getting with the Expo's, they are the ones who get the food together, all the orders, and sends it out to the table..they have the direct connection with the cooks. Well mainly I got the connection with one, and am continuing to work on two more....but it's basically easy, all I have to do is run food for them and I'm good. It's great too because I can just walk in the expo line and ramble to this one person, she understands what I'm saying, and boom, I got my fry refill while others are standing there waiting...it's great...
so yeah..I'm getting the much needed hook-ups at work, making my work a little easier, and in full circle I help them out some how...I don't know, as Vince would say, it's my charm that wins them over...Hey, I can be charming when I need to be, especially when I'm new to you, I'm damned charming...A little honey can go a long way, so yeah..That's my story...
Yeah, life, work, everything, is all about who you know..that's why it's good to have so many diverse friends. Everyone's always trying to get breaks, get their breaks, and are more than grateful when they find that special interest person who can help them out. The words, "hey man, I got a friend who can get us/you the hook up" Those are the words we long for. And actually we want that hook-up to be ours so we will continue to work with that third party hook-up, working through the middle man until it's a direct link..Hey it's all about the more people you know, and the more they can better you...it's everywhere...
well I'm having this experience at my new job. It started with a busser..and granted that's the bottom level of "hook-ups" you can get, I was happy with this little attachment. The kid reminds me of Mike Fisher, really he does. I think it all got started one night I wasn't busy with tables so I was busting other ones I walked by..Well it just so happened to be in his section. And whenever bussers see a server busting a table they get up on it and help them out or completely take over...Well he had a couple tables in his area and I kept going back to help him..So now whenever we are working, he'll come by and ask if I need anything, tables busted, wiped down, anything, even when it's not his section....I was happy with this..
then my next achievement would be getting the hook up with the hosts/hostesses/hospitality...yeah that's a weird mixture right there...Let's see you got the group of young girls 17-18, the two gay guys, and then a handful of older girls and ladies I guess you could call them....So for me, I got three of the older group working for me, the oldest of the three tries, but confuses my section up with others, it's alright, she gets me tables..The other two are alright..I don't know how much they've been working for me though..they kinda scare me in fact, always trying to give me a hug and such..yeah scary...And I've got one of the gay guys on my side..I swear he reminds me of mike jung, so I'm good with him...and then I got three of the younger girls on my side, although I think they are a little to out there to actually be on someone's side..either that or too whorey and are just playing everyone..whatever the case may be, I still got to work on them if I want tables...
then my final most success has come in the past two days...getting with the Expo's, they are the ones who get the food together, all the orders, and sends it out to the table..they have the direct connection with the cooks. Well mainly I got the connection with one, and am continuing to work on two more....but it's basically easy, all I have to do is run food for them and I'm good. It's great too because I can just walk in the expo line and ramble to this one person, she understands what I'm saying, and boom, I got my fry refill while others are standing there waiting...it's great...
so yeah..I'm getting the much needed hook-ups at work, making my work a little easier, and in full circle I help them out some how...I don't know, as Vince would say, it's my charm that wins them over...Hey, I can be charming when I need to be, especially when I'm new to you, I'm damned charming...A little honey can go a long way, so yeah..That's my story...
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Work: Damn I hate It.....
So last night, well actually Monday night I got fed up with things...at Target. Yeah, my happy place wasn't so happy that night. I was overly giddy and hyper, yelling and getting people in an evangelistic way to follow me, all while working the line...then out of nowhere Stacey (who was scaning the truck and more or less upset about that) just started bitching at me about geting my stuff off the line....So I dropped everything I was doing and got my few boxes off..When a time came, I cleaned up my mess - moving the ladder and moving my PDT..Well she sees this and goes off on me again, telling me to stopping doing pulls, put down my PDT, get the shit off the line...I fire back at her with a question directed towards the other side of the line, "ok, where's my boxes..do you see any backstock....anywhere....where's my fucking boxes" as I paraded up and down the line looking for said boxes..there were none...so that ended my night...I said nothing as the remainder of the truck was unloaded...people knew it pissed me off....
so as I am in the backroom, pulling softlines of all things, chris walks by and asks his normal, "what's up?" I give him a glare..he asks me what pull I was in or something and I answered with that tone in my voice, he knew something was wrong and asked me...I replied, "what do I have to do or say to go home tonight..Because frankly I do not want to be here.." and we started talking, I told him "this is me being pissed off" though it was the restrictive holding things back, yet about to overflow and burst at the seemsand become violently angry pissed...He's never seen me upset before, he even made a note of it while talking..In the end I sent myself home...if I was to be treated like a nine year old, I was going to act like a nine year old...whatever got up stacey's ass is her problem, I "corrected" my end of it by removing myself from the picture all together..may seem kinda drastic, but hey, fuck it right?
So now we move onto RR...I tell you..I don't think I like it too much. To anyone who has ever waited tables, major props go to you...it is bust ass work, I shit you not. If you've worked at a slow place, well then congrats..you don't know what it is to serve a table then.... At RR everyone is accountable for everyone's tables...you see a table needs a refill, you get them one, even if it is not your table...your server may take our order, but they will not bring you out your food...they may get your drinks, depending on what they are. they will most likely not get your re-fills...So this is completely new to me..I, like most people, are used to one server, one person to worry about..but that isn't so...so then a question comes up, who do you tip..and if you tip the waiter, do the tips get spilt at the end of the night... No, you tip the original waiter, the one who brings you the bill and the money is his/hers, no splitting with other servers..because hey all do the same thing for everyone..getting refills/bringing out food/etc...so tip 'em
but like I said, I don't know if I like serving too much..I mean it's so incredibly fast paced, and I feel responsible like I should bring out the food and always get the re-fills and such...and then there's the fact I don't think about anything while I am there..I am off in my own little world...I am no longer jason..I am the sub-serviant bitch who takes orders and delivers....I forget about the outside world and all my troubles and cares..there's no time to think, honestly...Maybe it's a good thing..maybe people just need to keep themselves occupied with other things, other worries so thy don't have the time to over analyze every little thing, think things too deeply, ponder stupid ass shit like the meaning of life..Get over it, you're here now, do something about it.....
wow, anyways...maybe I don't mean all that, maybe I do..but that's that..work is sucking on all ends..everything is giving in..what is there to do? yeah, til next time..
So last night, well actually Monday night I got fed up with things...at Target. Yeah, my happy place wasn't so happy that night. I was overly giddy and hyper, yelling and getting people in an evangelistic way to follow me, all while working the line...then out of nowhere Stacey (who was scaning the truck and more or less upset about that) just started bitching at me about geting my stuff off the line....So I dropped everything I was doing and got my few boxes off..When a time came, I cleaned up my mess - moving the ladder and moving my PDT..Well she sees this and goes off on me again, telling me to stopping doing pulls, put down my PDT, get the shit off the line...I fire back at her with a question directed towards the other side of the line, "ok, where's my boxes..do you see any backstock....anywhere....where's my fucking boxes" as I paraded up and down the line looking for said boxes..there were none...so that ended my night...I said nothing as the remainder of the truck was unloaded...people knew it pissed me off....
so as I am in the backroom, pulling softlines of all things, chris walks by and asks his normal, "what's up?" I give him a glare..he asks me what pull I was in or something and I answered with that tone in my voice, he knew something was wrong and asked me...I replied, "what do I have to do or say to go home tonight..Because frankly I do not want to be here.." and we started talking, I told him "this is me being pissed off" though it was the restrictive holding things back, yet about to overflow and burst at the seemsand become violently angry pissed...He's never seen me upset before, he even made a note of it while talking..In the end I sent myself home...if I was to be treated like a nine year old, I was going to act like a nine year old...whatever got up stacey's ass is her problem, I "corrected" my end of it by removing myself from the picture all together..may seem kinda drastic, but hey, fuck it right?
So now we move onto RR...I tell you..I don't think I like it too much. To anyone who has ever waited tables, major props go to you...it is bust ass work, I shit you not. If you've worked at a slow place, well then congrats..you don't know what it is to serve a table then.... At RR everyone is accountable for everyone's tables...you see a table needs a refill, you get them one, even if it is not your table...your server may take our order, but they will not bring you out your food...they may get your drinks, depending on what they are. they will most likely not get your re-fills...So this is completely new to me..I, like most people, are used to one server, one person to worry about..but that isn't so...so then a question comes up, who do you tip..and if you tip the waiter, do the tips get spilt at the end of the night... No, you tip the original waiter, the one who brings you the bill and the money is his/hers, no splitting with other servers..because hey all do the same thing for everyone..getting refills/bringing out food/etc...so tip 'em
but like I said, I don't know if I like serving too much..I mean it's so incredibly fast paced, and I feel responsible like I should bring out the food and always get the re-fills and such...and then there's the fact I don't think about anything while I am there..I am off in my own little world...I am no longer jason..I am the sub-serviant bitch who takes orders and delivers....I forget about the outside world and all my troubles and cares..there's no time to think, honestly...Maybe it's a good thing..maybe people just need to keep themselves occupied with other things, other worries so thy don't have the time to over analyze every little thing, think things too deeply, ponder stupid ass shit like the meaning of life..Get over it, you're here now, do something about it.....
wow, anyways...maybe I don't mean all that, maybe I do..but that's that..work is sucking on all ends..everything is giving in..what is there to do? yeah, til next time..
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Oscar Predictions...
Ok, not talking Ghostbusters here (props to those who get that..) but the Oscar's are coming..and once again I'll make some prediction that will be horribly wrong...just as I said the White Stripes would get album of the year.well fuck to that, they deserved it straight up..but whatever....so here we go...
Best Actor - It's a toss up really, as much as I would love to say Bill Murray for Lost in Translation..I think it will go to Sean Penn in Mystic River...it's hard to say though..I mean Penn has yet to win an Oscar, being nominated four times...this will be Murray's third, in an underappreciated genre, comedy. I would love to see Bill win, but if he doesn't, it's going to Penn...
Best Actress - again, toss up..But I'll go with Charlize Theron barely pushing out Diane Keaton...history shall repeat itself, back four years ago when swank took the oscar from "american Beauty's chick" after loosing the SAG Award but winning Golden Globe..it'll happen again, it's a pattern....
Supporting Actor - Tim Robbins, only because it's a process of elimination here..and well, it just works out for him here..another mystic river actor here, but yeah, it shall be his, unless Penn gets it, then I wouldn't want to see the same movie get both actor and supporting actor..ok, it will be murray and Robbins...
Supporting Actress - Well some will say renee zelwhateverhernameis..but I don't like her, I'm sorry...her character's just annoy me...starting with Empire Records..something just disturbs me about her..so no oscar for her..We'll go with the crazed choice of Shohreh Aghdashloo..yeah you heard me..I'll spell her name right dammit...let's make history and honor an iranian actress...damn straight..ok I am an ass...
Director - No question about it - Peter Jackson...come on, three movies, nine hours, over a billion dollars in box office sales..it's in the bag, no more needed...
Movie - Again, LOTR, I'm sorry, it has to be...though mystic river should be coming in second, not a close one tough, only because of its heavy support from the actors..though Lost in Translation has the biggest emotional punch per dollar being a small budget and all..the others, I'm sorry, it's nothing...
so there you have it...my predictions..if I'm right...somebody owes me a dollar...if I am right on every single one...all my readers will bow down to me, and maybe I'll get one of you doggy style while you there...ok maybe not..but still I suck at predicting these things so yeah, no worries on your part...
Ok, not talking Ghostbusters here (props to those who get that..) but the Oscar's are coming..and once again I'll make some prediction that will be horribly wrong...just as I said the White Stripes would get album of the year.well fuck to that, they deserved it straight up..but whatever....so here we go...
Best Actor - It's a toss up really, as much as I would love to say Bill Murray for Lost in Translation..I think it will go to Sean Penn in Mystic River...it's hard to say though..I mean Penn has yet to win an Oscar, being nominated four times...this will be Murray's third, in an underappreciated genre, comedy. I would love to see Bill win, but if he doesn't, it's going to Penn...
Best Actress - again, toss up..But I'll go with Charlize Theron barely pushing out Diane Keaton...history shall repeat itself, back four years ago when swank took the oscar from "american Beauty's chick" after loosing the SAG Award but winning Golden Globe..it'll happen again, it's a pattern....
Supporting Actor - Tim Robbins, only because it's a process of elimination here..and well, it just works out for him here..another mystic river actor here, but yeah, it shall be his, unless Penn gets it, then I wouldn't want to see the same movie get both actor and supporting actor..ok, it will be murray and Robbins...
Supporting Actress - Well some will say renee zelwhateverhernameis..but I don't like her, I'm sorry...her character's just annoy me...starting with Empire Records..something just disturbs me about her..so no oscar for her..We'll go with the crazed choice of Shohreh Aghdashloo..yeah you heard me..I'll spell her name right dammit...let's make history and honor an iranian actress...damn straight..ok I am an ass...
Director - No question about it - Peter Jackson...come on, three movies, nine hours, over a billion dollars in box office sales..it's in the bag, no more needed...
Movie - Again, LOTR, I'm sorry, it has to be...though mystic river should be coming in second, not a close one tough, only because of its heavy support from the actors..though Lost in Translation has the biggest emotional punch per dollar being a small budget and all..the others, I'm sorry, it's nothing...
so there you have it...my predictions..if I'm right...somebody owes me a dollar...if I am right on every single one...all my readers will bow down to me, and maybe I'll get one of you doggy style while you there...ok maybe not..but still I suck at predicting these things so yeah, no worries on your part...
Monday, February 23, 2004
What the..who knows for what..
Alright..so why do people intrigue me so? Why am I offended by stupidity in the masses yet somehow are drawn to them like a moth to a flame? Why do we as humans, feel the need to analyze every little thing, well not most but some...Is it really essential to life..While we are out nit-picking every little thing, trying to figure out all the questions and making more questions, are we missing life in general..What is the real purpose...what is going on. I just get so frustrated with things sometimes..I mean it is in fashion of my character to do these things, but am I supposed to? Are we supposed to overcome our foibles? Are they really wrong, and to whom? Aren't we, in trying to correct these "wrongs", actually conforming to a mold. Making everyone the same, is that what we are supposed to be doing..doing with life, doing with lives, doing with our life? Religion, Governments, and cliques. Maybe the Nazi's had something..maybe we are supposed to be some superior race, I don't know about the blonde hair blue eye thing, but I'll go with it just because I am...
But yeah, we are "made" with our problems, our dysfunctions, and everything else, or abilities and inabilities..just like everyone else. Why do we feel the need to change that? That's what makes you you, not somebody else..hell even twins have something different about them..but this is getting me off my original point..
Why do I analyze things, try to categorize things, is it to better understand things, make me feel better, like I have an edge on it, I know what's going on..well not everything can be categorized, can be defined (again, why do we feel the must to define things, describe things..(like pain for example, you can try to describe it, but unless someone has experienced something similar, you really can do it justice.) feelings emotions, you can be empathetic, only because you aren't in their shoes..everything in your world is based off of your reactions to them..everything is different to everyone else..that's why you can't use a global system to generalize things with...yet we try...are we trying to be homogeneous?)
So why do I do this..I keep asking the same question, try to get me back on track..it's not working is it? I'm not gaining any knowledge from it, not that I can tell, if anything I just get worse...questions drive the hole deeper..and I'm off on a tangent I have no idea how I got on....to be honest, there's also been a delay in this typing..the first paragraph was interrupted..then I typed some more, then I left...then I came back and started typing again..you know how that gets me..
so people intrigue me..I wonder so many things about them, what they are thinking, why they think that..what goes through their minds..what causes them to make certian decisions...If you could make some process tree for each person, on each thing, that'd be badass..it could be done too...
then again I also like to analyze dreams...but again any "globally" used definition or symbols can only go so far..sure they work on a very general basis, but again, for each and every person it holds a different meaning...Everybody needs psychologists, we need more of them too..not just crazy people need them...everyone could use them, and it would greatly help the field of study..by making it all fit into some category of generalizations...anyways...yeah, I'm done for now, I got nowhere...
Alright..so why do people intrigue me so? Why am I offended by stupidity in the masses yet somehow are drawn to them like a moth to a flame? Why do we as humans, feel the need to analyze every little thing, well not most but some...Is it really essential to life..While we are out nit-picking every little thing, trying to figure out all the questions and making more questions, are we missing life in general..What is the real purpose...what is going on. I just get so frustrated with things sometimes..I mean it is in fashion of my character to do these things, but am I supposed to? Are we supposed to overcome our foibles? Are they really wrong, and to whom? Aren't we, in trying to correct these "wrongs", actually conforming to a mold. Making everyone the same, is that what we are supposed to be doing..doing with life, doing with lives, doing with our life? Religion, Governments, and cliques. Maybe the Nazi's had something..maybe we are supposed to be some superior race, I don't know about the blonde hair blue eye thing, but I'll go with it just because I am...
But yeah, we are "made" with our problems, our dysfunctions, and everything else, or abilities and inabilities..just like everyone else. Why do we feel the need to change that? That's what makes you you, not somebody else..hell even twins have something different about them..but this is getting me off my original point..
Why do I analyze things, try to categorize things, is it to better understand things, make me feel better, like I have an edge on it, I know what's going on..well not everything can be categorized, can be defined (again, why do we feel the must to define things, describe things..(like pain for example, you can try to describe it, but unless someone has experienced something similar, you really can do it justice.) feelings emotions, you can be empathetic, only because you aren't in their shoes..everything in your world is based off of your reactions to them..everything is different to everyone else..that's why you can't use a global system to generalize things with...yet we try...are we trying to be homogeneous?)
So why do I do this..I keep asking the same question, try to get me back on track..it's not working is it? I'm not gaining any knowledge from it, not that I can tell, if anything I just get worse...questions drive the hole deeper..and I'm off on a tangent I have no idea how I got on....to be honest, there's also been a delay in this typing..the first paragraph was interrupted..then I typed some more, then I left...then I came back and started typing again..you know how that gets me..
so people intrigue me..I wonder so many things about them, what they are thinking, why they think that..what goes through their minds..what causes them to make certian decisions...If you could make some process tree for each person, on each thing, that'd be badass..it could be done too...
then again I also like to analyze dreams...but again any "globally" used definition or symbols can only go so far..sure they work on a very general basis, but again, for each and every person it holds a different meaning...Everybody needs psychologists, we need more of them too..not just crazy people need them...everyone could use them, and it would greatly help the field of study..by making it all fit into some category of generalizations...anyways...yeah, I'm done for now, I got nowhere...
Sunday, February 22, 2004
So I'm Dying, Agian...
Well this has been going on for a couple weeks now, a couple equaling two, I suppose I could have just said that, but anyways..
So here's my deal, my damn stomach is killing me...literally killing me. I keep having this pain, it fucking hurts, the stomach feels like it is going to rip itself out and eat somebody Alien style...In a way it feels like I am hungry..And whenever I get the pain I try to eat, thinking I am hungry, but I'll start chowing down and boom, no matter what I can't finish it...I'm not hungry, and not I feel even worse, I feel like I am going to throw up..So along with the normal stomach pain of it ripping out, now I got the pit of my stomach going to up-chuck everything I just ate back out....
here's an example of when I could actually eat...I woke up, said, hey I'm hungry..Now if you know me, you all know I do not eat breakfast..very rarely do I , it's just not my thing...maybe a bowl of cereal if it is mid-day, but yeah....So I said I'm hungry...I decided to eat a bowl of oatmeal, thinking it will expand in my stomach and I'll be good...Well I ate that..then I ate a bowl of cereal..followed by a banana...a leftover piece of pizza, 2 eggs, four pieces of toast, random snacks, and I still felt like I was hungry...
even as I type this my stomach is aching for something...I've only had this two other times in recent history..about the same time of the year my senior year...and 10 months later when I was in college..I would attribute this to stress, wouldn't you? But what has got me soo stressed..more stressed than normal? I mean yeah I've got stress, but I handle it, it's all good..what has happened recently to push it all over the edge and cause this sickness? I really don't let things get to me, stress is never really a thing in my life, I just let it go behind me, I've got things to worry about, but being stressed out is something that really I don't partake in...so what the shit is going on? What will make me better? Why oh why is my stomach in soo much pain..ok that's enough, I'm going to find something to eat..
Well this has been going on for a couple weeks now, a couple equaling two, I suppose I could have just said that, but anyways..
So here's my deal, my damn stomach is killing me...literally killing me. I keep having this pain, it fucking hurts, the stomach feels like it is going to rip itself out and eat somebody Alien style...In a way it feels like I am hungry..And whenever I get the pain I try to eat, thinking I am hungry, but I'll start chowing down and boom, no matter what I can't finish it...I'm not hungry, and not I feel even worse, I feel like I am going to throw up..So along with the normal stomach pain of it ripping out, now I got the pit of my stomach going to up-chuck everything I just ate back out....
here's an example of when I could actually eat...I woke up, said, hey I'm hungry..Now if you know me, you all know I do not eat breakfast..very rarely do I , it's just not my thing...maybe a bowl of cereal if it is mid-day, but yeah....So I said I'm hungry...I decided to eat a bowl of oatmeal, thinking it will expand in my stomach and I'll be good...Well I ate that..then I ate a bowl of cereal..followed by a banana...a leftover piece of pizza, 2 eggs, four pieces of toast, random snacks, and I still felt like I was hungry...
even as I type this my stomach is aching for something...I've only had this two other times in recent history..about the same time of the year my senior year...and 10 months later when I was in college..I would attribute this to stress, wouldn't you? But what has got me soo stressed..more stressed than normal? I mean yeah I've got stress, but I handle it, it's all good..what has happened recently to push it all over the edge and cause this sickness? I really don't let things get to me, stress is never really a thing in my life, I just let it go behind me, I've got things to worry about, but being stressed out is something that really I don't partake in...so what the shit is going on? What will make me better? Why oh why is my stomach in soo much pain..ok that's enough, I'm going to find something to eat..
I Don't Get It...
Well i suppose this works...i mean i already wear them to begin with...what do you think?
Well i suppose this works...i mean i already wear them to begin with...what do you think?
| ||||
Definitely Wrong Place, Wrong Time...
Alright, so as some or most of you know I do have a second job again, go me I suppose. It's an alright place, but when it comes down to it....I shouldn't be working there, most likely not. It would strictly be a place to go to and eat, maybe think, "hey it would be cool to work here" and shit like that...but all in all it's not my atmosphere. And when I say atmosphere, I mean the people I work with...Most of us were hired because we are loud, outgoing, people people, and so forth..and that's who I work with. Now try to remember those people throughout your life, in highschool and the latter years..yeah, generally they were stupid ass people, no cream of the crops here. I'm talking the "I'll do it to be a cool sociable person"
After work last night, a large group decided to go to BW3's, funny that the owner of RR is the owner of bedbug as well....Ok, and I decided to go..I was thinking to myself, well I don't know a soul that I work with, everyone else seems to know at least a couple people, so I got to make my attachment to at least one so I can "fit in" a little more at work. Well, correction, I kinda do "know" one person, fact she's the one to invite everyone to Bdubs, but she has such an ADD problem it's not even funny, so I need to find someone else more or less, john would have been that person, but didn't work last night..Anyways...
so yeah, Bdubs last night..well let me take you through the situation I work in before I get into it...Ok, so I'm a server...there are like maybe 7-9 guy servers, granted there are maybe 10-15 guy busers & hospos, and of course the cooks are all guys (20 or so?) but for the past week of training it's just been the ?8? guys...and totally outweighing the other side are the girls....there are so freaking many of them. I'd say there's around 70 girls, probably 100 once you count all the other departments, but for servers 70 works..maybe I'm a little high on my numbers, but it's still outrageous. Ok so let's do a little recap of things..
We have more girls to guys, and everyone is a stupid outgoing imbecile..and if you ever met a guy like that, you know they are the most fucking annoying things possible, usually cocky, arrogant, think they are funny as hell, just all-around fucks..I'd say there are 2 or 3 that aren't like that, but you don't notice them at all. So yeah not a somewhat intelligent soul to be found....
so of course since I am working with a group of said guys, they form these little bonds with the other guys and such..Throughout all of training I kept hearing, "so which one do you think is the hottest" or "which one you gonna bang?" and it continues *rolls eyes* but the clincher here, was last night a Bdubs..as the group dwindles down we moved from our party table to a booth..as the girls get up to use the bathroom, the two other guys that are with me lean forward towards me and start talking, "alright, one of us is gonna be sucking on ?connie's? titties by the end of the night, we're all in on this, even you a'ight?" something similar to that, even right now I continue to shake my head in dismay.
ohhh my..last night I sat at the table, I was taking everything in, didn't say hardly two words, somebody mentioned a simpsons episode I spoke, I wanted a refill, I spoke, maybe an occasional nodding of the head, but really, I was just absorbing the situation. I don't even think I had anything to say, granted I was tired and had a headache, I just didn't have any thoughts together on anything..they were trying to get me to talk every now and then, but like I said, there was nothing for me in the conversation..I was just enjoying being a sponge.
I mean granted, they are all idiots, I like having that sociological eye and just sitting there watching it all. I really think that's the only thing that's going to get through working there. I mean so far everyone I've come into contact with has given me a chance to judge them..either from the ditzy hospos, or wearing to much make up, having a huge gap, talking about going to jail, doing said illegal things, having fake ID's..I feel this is part of the highschool crowd I was never a part of, and for a reason. Work shouldn't be too much of a problem, I got there, put in my 6 hours or whatever and leave..it will be the after work social functions that will be a little off.
I'm not sure if any of this made any sense, as I typed it, nothing seemed to be coming out in the order I wanted it to, nor like I had planned it too..it was a rant in my head that was never really given a chance to develop, hell I haven't even mentioned any of that to anyone else yet, so nothing has been nutured..I do apologize for it's incoherence..I'll work on that....
Alright, so as some or most of you know I do have a second job again, go me I suppose. It's an alright place, but when it comes down to it....I shouldn't be working there, most likely not. It would strictly be a place to go to and eat, maybe think, "hey it would be cool to work here" and shit like that...but all in all it's not my atmosphere. And when I say atmosphere, I mean the people I work with...Most of us were hired because we are loud, outgoing, people people, and so forth..and that's who I work with. Now try to remember those people throughout your life, in highschool and the latter years..yeah, generally they were stupid ass people, no cream of the crops here. I'm talking the "I'll do it to be a cool sociable person"
After work last night, a large group decided to go to BW3's, funny that the owner of RR is the owner of bedbug as well....Ok, and I decided to go..I was thinking to myself, well I don't know a soul that I work with, everyone else seems to know at least a couple people, so I got to make my attachment to at least one so I can "fit in" a little more at work. Well, correction, I kinda do "know" one person, fact she's the one to invite everyone to Bdubs, but she has such an ADD problem it's not even funny, so I need to find someone else more or less, john would have been that person, but didn't work last night..Anyways...
so yeah, Bdubs last night..well let me take you through the situation I work in before I get into it...Ok, so I'm a server...there are like maybe 7-9 guy servers, granted there are maybe 10-15 guy busers & hospos, and of course the cooks are all guys (20 or so?) but for the past week of training it's just been the ?8? guys...and totally outweighing the other side are the girls....there are so freaking many of them. I'd say there's around 70 girls, probably 100 once you count all the other departments, but for servers 70 works..maybe I'm a little high on my numbers, but it's still outrageous. Ok so let's do a little recap of things..
We have more girls to guys, and everyone is a stupid outgoing imbecile..and if you ever met a guy like that, you know they are the most fucking annoying things possible, usually cocky, arrogant, think they are funny as hell, just all-around fucks..I'd say there are 2 or 3 that aren't like that, but you don't notice them at all. So yeah not a somewhat intelligent soul to be found....
so of course since I am working with a group of said guys, they form these little bonds with the other guys and such..Throughout all of training I kept hearing, "so which one do you think is the hottest" or "which one you gonna bang?" and it continues *rolls eyes* but the clincher here, was last night a Bdubs..as the group dwindles down we moved from our party table to a booth..as the girls get up to use the bathroom, the two other guys that are with me lean forward towards me and start talking, "alright, one of us is gonna be sucking on ?connie's? titties by the end of the night, we're all in on this, even you a'ight?" something similar to that, even right now I continue to shake my head in dismay.
ohhh my..last night I sat at the table, I was taking everything in, didn't say hardly two words, somebody mentioned a simpsons episode I spoke, I wanted a refill, I spoke, maybe an occasional nodding of the head, but really, I was just absorbing the situation. I don't even think I had anything to say, granted I was tired and had a headache, I just didn't have any thoughts together on anything..they were trying to get me to talk every now and then, but like I said, there was nothing for me in the conversation..I was just enjoying being a sponge.
I mean granted, they are all idiots, I like having that sociological eye and just sitting there watching it all. I really think that's the only thing that's going to get through working there. I mean so far everyone I've come into contact with has given me a chance to judge them..either from the ditzy hospos, or wearing to much make up, having a huge gap, talking about going to jail, doing said illegal things, having fake ID's..I feel this is part of the highschool crowd I was never a part of, and for a reason. Work shouldn't be too much of a problem, I got there, put in my 6 hours or whatever and leave..it will be the after work social functions that will be a little off.
I'm not sure if any of this made any sense, as I typed it, nothing seemed to be coming out in the order I wanted it to, nor like I had planned it too..it was a rant in my head that was never really given a chance to develop, hell I haven't even mentioned any of that to anyone else yet, so nothing has been nutured..I do apologize for it's incoherence..I'll work on that....
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Yup....
Just as the 50 degree weather took away the snow..this morning a fall brings it back....crazy weather....
So this ting is working again..there's a new commentation system...but will the readers return? Better question, will I continue to post here? I like what I have been doing, so I guess as always time will tell...
I've been very busy lately, I still have a lot of things to post about, I have tomorrow morning off, so maybe I'll get to it then..in the meantime I'm doing laundry...
ohh man, I've been up for almost 4 hours now, and what have I done....nothing really, just a little bit here and there..man I feel worthless. maybe it's all that work that makes me feel as if I'm not ding anything I am nothing... I'm going to shower now..
ok, well that is all..more to come...
Just as the 50 degree weather took away the snow..this morning a fall brings it back....crazy weather....
So this ting is working again..there's a new commentation system...but will the readers return? Better question, will I continue to post here? I like what I have been doing, so I guess as always time will tell...
I've been very busy lately, I still have a lot of things to post about, I have tomorrow morning off, so maybe I'll get to it then..in the meantime I'm doing laundry...
ohh man, I've been up for almost 4 hours now, and what have I done....nothing really, just a little bit here and there..man I feel worthless. maybe it's all that work that makes me feel as if I'm not ding anything I am nothing... I'm going to shower now..
ok, well that is all..more to come...
Friday, February 20, 2004
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Happy Valentine's Day???
Yeah, well ok, must I go ahead and make a post soley based on this "holiday"? Seems all too crazy to me, I'm single, aren't I? I don't have anyone special to celebrate it with...She's here this weekend, but is with her friends and family, something I don't want to interrupt. I did get her a present, actually I got something for everyone that is there, but I'm a little worried to bring it to her. She says she has something for me, which I wowed by, so yeah...it seems like there has been more talk about this day around me, moreso than in the past..maybe people aren't directing the entire conversation at me, but I'm involved in it..makes me wonder...
and don't get me wrong, this "holiday" doesn't make me mad, doesn't upset me, doesn't ruffle my feathers like it does to some people...I could care less, but that's just my apathy kicking in... Sure it may seem stupid, unless you are in grade school and you wonder if Angelina has a crush on you or feeling similar of that towards her...But lovers should be romantic..moreso than just on one day...I think there's too much pressure, especially on the guy, to get/do/go out on something...
Valentine's is by far over-rated..god, you should see how much random shit target has, it's utterly amazing just what the marketing geniuses thought of...I'm just waiting for Sweetest day to become as "popular" as V day.
And the term, V-day...others have shortened it to VD...day...which is totally redundant...Valentine's day day...that's like saying ATM machine..or PIN number...god I have society for it's stupidity...
but yeah..I think lovers should go simple...do something more than normal on this day, do something special for the both of them...even if that is sitting at home, watching a movie while eating Velveeta shells and cheese together...Maybe doing a movie marathon...or you're guys' favorite movie....the first move you've seen together...so forth....Celebrate your anniversary far more than V-Day...Yeah it's a romantic sort of thing...but your anniversary is more important..unless your anniversary is on V-Day...or you met on V-Day, purposed on V-Day..yeah, than you're screwed...
alright, well that's all the rambling for now...this won't update til may of 2005 so enjoy it once it arrives, til then, I'm gone...
Yeah, well ok, must I go ahead and make a post soley based on this "holiday"? Seems all too crazy to me, I'm single, aren't I? I don't have anyone special to celebrate it with...She's here this weekend, but is with her friends and family, something I don't want to interrupt. I did get her a present, actually I got something for everyone that is there, but I'm a little worried to bring it to her. She says she has something for me, which I wowed by, so yeah...it seems like there has been more talk about this day around me, moreso than in the past..maybe people aren't directing the entire conversation at me, but I'm involved in it..makes me wonder...
and don't get me wrong, this "holiday" doesn't make me mad, doesn't upset me, doesn't ruffle my feathers like it does to some people...I could care less, but that's just my apathy kicking in... Sure it may seem stupid, unless you are in grade school and you wonder if Angelina has a crush on you or feeling similar of that towards her...But lovers should be romantic..moreso than just on one day...I think there's too much pressure, especially on the guy, to get/do/go out on something...
Valentine's is by far over-rated..god, you should see how much random shit target has, it's utterly amazing just what the marketing geniuses thought of...I'm just waiting for Sweetest day to become as "popular" as V day.
And the term, V-day...others have shortened it to VD...day...which is totally redundant...Valentine's day day...that's like saying ATM machine..or PIN number...god I have society for it's stupidity...
but yeah..I think lovers should go simple...do something more than normal on this day, do something special for the both of them...even if that is sitting at home, watching a movie while eating Velveeta shells and cheese together...Maybe doing a movie marathon...or you're guys' favorite movie....the first move you've seen together...so forth....Celebrate your anniversary far more than V-Day...Yeah it's a romantic sort of thing...but your anniversary is more important..unless your anniversary is on V-Day...or you met on V-Day, purposed on V-Day..yeah, than you're screwed...
alright, well that's all the rambling for now...this won't update til may of 2005 so enjoy it once it arrives, til then, I'm gone...
Monday, February 09, 2004
What Do You Want Out of Life??
I had to stop everything I was doing, I felt a rant coming on and didn't want to lose sight of it...so hopefully I can still achieve what I wanted only moments delayed..
What do you want out of life? Is life what you get out of life what you put into it? Well, when I try to define that statement the first ting that comes to mind is the damn beatles, yeah they suck, but they said something like, "the love you take is equal to the love you make"..and I guess that can go several ways, but back to life....No, it's not..yet, maybe so...Yeah, I suppose the more you put into life, the more effort, you have a better chance at getting more out of life, but that's just like flipping a penny..you got a 50/50 shot..And if you actually get five heads in a row, does that make the probability that the next one will be tails? Well, chance has no memory, you still have a 50/50 shot at getting heads, or tails for that matter....But chance has no memory, or does it...Don't we seem to think that in the end it all evens out, even through all the chaos of life, it all has purpose, a self balancing equation in the end...And the rarity of getting several heads in a row is lessened by the more occurring balanced equation of 50/50...Like I said, a rarity...We play to have that chance, a bit of a mix up, a glitch in the system..Damn prospects...
like zach said, the idea of prospect is so intriguing and controlling in the human mind, you give a man the possibility, though very bleak, that something may happen, he'll strive to make it so. Nobody should really play the lotto, your chances are one in a million, if not more...That's all chance, timing, having the heavens align perfectly for you, sacrificing a sheep, etc....But I play because there's that chance, hey, it may happen, and if not...Well maybe next time, nothing lost, nothing gained...ok, maybe a couple dollars a week, but every now and then it balances out when I have several winning numbers and a powerball, all is even and I continue....I have this great line that I am actually using for the movie Townies, it goes something like, "well I take pride in these numbers..I play them every week, they are special to me, full of birthdays and anniversaries..they're mine?And so special and unique the damned machine hasn't picked them yet.." so yeah, I take pride in those numbers, they all mean something to me, so they're mine, if they get picked I suppose the uniqueness of them will be lost, but what will be gained is a hell of a lot of money...compensation, balancing out....
so were the beatles right, love you take=love you make...Do I take a lot of love? I am under the impression, maybe false, that I give a lot of love, I do a lot for love, I do things for those I love..Is it equal to what I get back? Everything has to be, on different playing fields of course...it's all a big circle, and everything comes back...maybe not three fold, but it comes back, so I suppose you should always pay it forward...in one area that you lack in, you possibly well might pay attention more to another...it'll all even out..the same team doesn't win every game, every championship....but somebody does have to win every now and then....
So are we supposed to gloat and parade ourselves around like no tomorrow in our accomplishments? Are we supposed to be withdrawn and sluggish when the world's not spinning like we think it ought to for us? No, it's more than 50% "luck", chance..things may happen to fall for you, things may happen to fall on you, whatever the case, don't stop and look around, just keep going..you'll reach the end soon enough..and when you do, I hope you took a moment to take in life's best things..I don't know, I'm done...
read more with this.....dance
I had to stop everything I was doing, I felt a rant coming on and didn't want to lose sight of it...so hopefully I can still achieve what I wanted only moments delayed..
What do you want out of life? Is life what you get out of life what you put into it? Well, when I try to define that statement the first ting that comes to mind is the damn beatles, yeah they suck, but they said something like, "the love you take is equal to the love you make"..and I guess that can go several ways, but back to life....No, it's not..yet, maybe so...Yeah, I suppose the more you put into life, the more effort, you have a better chance at getting more out of life, but that's just like flipping a penny..you got a 50/50 shot..And if you actually get five heads in a row, does that make the probability that the next one will be tails? Well, chance has no memory, you still have a 50/50 shot at getting heads, or tails for that matter....But chance has no memory, or does it...Don't we seem to think that in the end it all evens out, even through all the chaos of life, it all has purpose, a self balancing equation in the end...And the rarity of getting several heads in a row is lessened by the more occurring balanced equation of 50/50...Like I said, a rarity...We play to have that chance, a bit of a mix up, a glitch in the system..Damn prospects...
like zach said, the idea of prospect is so intriguing and controlling in the human mind, you give a man the possibility, though very bleak, that something may happen, he'll strive to make it so. Nobody should really play the lotto, your chances are one in a million, if not more...That's all chance, timing, having the heavens align perfectly for you, sacrificing a sheep, etc....But I play because there's that chance, hey, it may happen, and if not...Well maybe next time, nothing lost, nothing gained...ok, maybe a couple dollars a week, but every now and then it balances out when I have several winning numbers and a powerball, all is even and I continue....I have this great line that I am actually using for the movie Townies, it goes something like, "well I take pride in these numbers..I play them every week, they are special to me, full of birthdays and anniversaries..they're mine?And so special and unique the damned machine hasn't picked them yet.." so yeah, I take pride in those numbers, they all mean something to me, so they're mine, if they get picked I suppose the uniqueness of them will be lost, but what will be gained is a hell of a lot of money...compensation, balancing out....
so were the beatles right, love you take=love you make...Do I take a lot of love? I am under the impression, maybe false, that I give a lot of love, I do a lot for love, I do things for those I love..Is it equal to what I get back? Everything has to be, on different playing fields of course...it's all a big circle, and everything comes back...maybe not three fold, but it comes back, so I suppose you should always pay it forward...in one area that you lack in, you possibly well might pay attention more to another...it'll all even out..the same team doesn't win every game, every championship....but somebody does have to win every now and then....
So are we supposed to gloat and parade ourselves around like no tomorrow in our accomplishments? Are we supposed to be withdrawn and sluggish when the world's not spinning like we think it ought to for us? No, it's more than 50% "luck", chance..things may happen to fall for you, things may happen to fall on you, whatever the case, don't stop and look around, just keep going..you'll reach the end soon enough..and when you do, I hope you took a moment to take in life's best things..I don't know, I'm done...
read more with this.....dance
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Just Cheking....
Well this is yet another test to see just if everything will post...so if it does show up at 6:45 on sunday, then yay..if not oh well.....so what have i been doing in the meantime, i mean blogging is a natural part of life, blogging and bitching go hand in hand..well i've been making entries, just not on here....it's not the pretty little thing it used to be..i remember when i was actually blue in the background....well now that zach has taken the site down, i wonder if i can steal his layout...yeah that'll work..maybe i'll even try this moveable type thing, see what it's all about....well a couple posts were made on the xanga, others somewhere else....maybe i'll post them for all can see one day, until then, everything is "fine"....
Well this is yet another test to see just if everything will post...so if it does show up at 6:45 on sunday, then yay..if not oh well.....so what have i been doing in the meantime, i mean blogging is a natural part of life, blogging and bitching go hand in hand..well i've been making entries, just not on here....it's not the pretty little thing it used to be..i remember when i was actually blue in the background....well now that zach has taken the site down, i wonder if i can steal his layout...yeah that'll work..maybe i'll even try this moveable type thing, see what it's all about....well a couple posts were made on the xanga, others somewhere else....maybe i'll post them for all can see one day, until then, everything is "fine"....
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
No Balls..Growing Up..What is It???
So ZB has decided to shut down his site, collegesucks....of course now I'm hiding his name because I don't think he wants any publicity..Anyways..So what's the deal....has he grown up and realized he needs to tame his wild acts down if he wants to maintain in today's society..Has he realized (and became overly paranoid) about his website content relaying back to him through his job so much he has to take it down..realizing the officials he works for would look down on what he does in his spare time (possible?)
or has his conspiracy theorist mind over worked itself and caused this tizzy to occur..Is he just making a mountain over a molehill..I mean he knows that they have no repercussion if they ever were to find and ever to get mad about it....If all that happened, and they did in fact get upset over it, what's the very worse that could happen..look down on him and question his credibility....Maybe if he was a newer employee, but from what he says, he has taking the place by storm, responding to calls and requests the moment they come in, unlike all the other employees...Would they turn their head away since he is a good employee....
I mean at no time does zeebee ever talk about the place where he works, doesn't name it or anything..He talks about his other life....and at no time does he incorporate or penetrate his website into work...He keeps the two lives separate with a restraining order on each....
so what do you think...is he over reacting, is this needed, is it a part of growing up, throwing aside your once fought battles and subcumming to the man and his ways...We always thought you were the fighter zach....I don't know if I can offer you the Heimlich Maneuver for you this time....
So ZB has decided to shut down his site, collegesucks....of course now I'm hiding his name because I don't think he wants any publicity..Anyways..So what's the deal....has he grown up and realized he needs to tame his wild acts down if he wants to maintain in today's society..Has he realized (and became overly paranoid) about his website content relaying back to him through his job so much he has to take it down..realizing the officials he works for would look down on what he does in his spare time (possible?)
or has his conspiracy theorist mind over worked itself and caused this tizzy to occur..Is he just making a mountain over a molehill..I mean he knows that they have no repercussion if they ever were to find and ever to get mad about it....If all that happened, and they did in fact get upset over it, what's the very worse that could happen..look down on him and question his credibility....Maybe if he was a newer employee, but from what he says, he has taking the place by storm, responding to calls and requests the moment they come in, unlike all the other employees...Would they turn their head away since he is a good employee....
I mean at no time does zeebee ever talk about the place where he works, doesn't name it or anything..He talks about his other life....and at no time does he incorporate or penetrate his website into work...He keeps the two lives separate with a restraining order on each....
so what do you think...is he over reacting, is this needed, is it a part of growing up, throwing aside your once fought battles and subcumming to the man and his ways...We always thought you were the fighter zach....I don't know if I can offer you the Heimlich Maneuver for you this time....
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
The Talk of the Town....
Vol. 3: Dime Store Lament
Sally, wonÃt you see me?
I know I canÃt tango or feel my way through darkness
but I can cook omelets.
I can put sausage in them if you want, honey.
Anything.
I heard that youÃre thinking of going to the ball
with a boy with a fancy car that can play loud music.
CanÃt my mandolin please you?
I put on an inch nearly every day.
IÃll be there soon, I promise.
One time I saw you kiss a boy underneath the cottonwood tree.
The seeds were floating through the air and it made me sneeze.
But the setting sun and the summer romance, it made me cry.
I told you it was my allergies, but it wasnÃt.
It was the baseball game and the country music and how far
I was from it all.
IÃve offered you my fanciest poetry and the whitest posies.
Piano promises and polite innocence are all.
IÃm sorry.
From the Cock of the Walk....
Vol. 3: Dime Store Lament
Sally, wonÃt you see me?
I know I canÃt tango or feel my way through darkness
but I can cook omelets.
I can put sausage in them if you want, honey.
Anything.
I heard that youÃre thinking of going to the ball
with a boy with a fancy car that can play loud music.
CanÃt my mandolin please you?
I put on an inch nearly every day.
IÃll be there soon, I promise.
One time I saw you kiss a boy underneath the cottonwood tree.
The seeds were floating through the air and it made me sneeze.
But the setting sun and the summer romance, it made me cry.
I told you it was my allergies, but it wasnÃt.
It was the baseball game and the country music and how far
I was from it all.
IÃve offered you my fanciest poetry and the whitest posies.
Piano promises and polite innocence are all.
IÃm sorry.
From the Cock of the Walk....
And not only that....
But check this out...I made a post, and it's not there...well not as I type up this one..what the hell..I made a post around 230 today (Tuesday) and it's not up now, 800...and who knows when this one will be published..and once it does go through ya'll think I'm crazy or something....well ok....
so today's date 02-03-04..how badass is that? Am I the only one who gets off on shit like this? It almost makes me want to be some sort of numerologist...like in the movie Pi..Anyways...Elizabeth brought up the good point I obviously overlooked, this won't happen again..well not in our lifetime..so don't just pass this up as another mere "date", it's something special..at least to some, so make it special yo..
oh, and this is great..I realized this the other night....but once again I predicted a future outcome in my life...Oh man when I realized what was going on, wit the proper wording, it all came to me..Damn my thoughts and everyday routine being used as an escape goat..Wow, thank you again..
I had a dream last night, crazy but not as messed up as elizabeth's dream...Anyways..It was something similar to what I've had before..Actually this would make it the third time I've had this dream, but it was a lot different from the first two..I think the beginning and endings were what makes them work together....But basically involves me and someone else (I'll give you two guesses who)...And the setting is on a boat, like a big cruise ship sort of thing...It's somewhere I've been once before, somewhere I had to or was forced to go..some school thing maybe, like Hoosier Boys State....but this time it's her turn to go..she's there for some reason, and either by coincidence I'm there as well, either on vacation or something like that...When I learn our paths have crossed I begin to do anything in my power to stay aboard, go to the same places, extend my trip plans, etc....
at first I'm afraid to go up to her, I try to get good timing, seeing if I should even show my presence, it's not spying, but I'm intrigued..Towards the middle/sometimes end, we eventually do meet up...and that's when my conscience gets to throw everything at me..In retrospect, the dream was an accumulation of the past three months..it was really messed up..It's something you just had to be there, it wasn't short, very long and drawn out, and I lack the details to type it out..I don't even think I could give a verbal presentation of it, but who knows...just parts that stuck out in my head I suppose....Feeling when I woke up: not good enough....
Another day gone....but I work tonight...got some things done, but half way doesn't really count now does it...still in the dark on a lot of things..got some mail sent out..planning my trip to Lansing (Illinois) sometime soon..very soon, well at least it needs to be done soon..I'm still playing the damn intro..I've organized somethings....the things I want to are in a place too cold to do any work in..so that's that...Good day
But check this out...I made a post, and it's not there...well not as I type up this one..what the hell..I made a post around 230 today (Tuesday) and it's not up now, 800...and who knows when this one will be published..and once it does go through ya'll think I'm crazy or something....well ok....
so today's date 02-03-04..how badass is that? Am I the only one who gets off on shit like this? It almost makes me want to be some sort of numerologist...like in the movie Pi..Anyways...Elizabeth brought up the good point I obviously overlooked, this won't happen again..well not in our lifetime..so don't just pass this up as another mere "date", it's something special..at least to some, so make it special yo..
oh, and this is great..I realized this the other night....but once again I predicted a future outcome in my life...Oh man when I realized what was going on, wit the proper wording, it all came to me..Damn my thoughts and everyday routine being used as an escape goat..Wow, thank you again..
I had a dream last night, crazy but not as messed up as elizabeth's dream...Anyways..It was something similar to what I've had before..Actually this would make it the third time I've had this dream, but it was a lot different from the first two..I think the beginning and endings were what makes them work together....But basically involves me and someone else (I'll give you two guesses who)...And the setting is on a boat, like a big cruise ship sort of thing...It's somewhere I've been once before, somewhere I had to or was forced to go..some school thing maybe, like Hoosier Boys State....but this time it's her turn to go..she's there for some reason, and either by coincidence I'm there as well, either on vacation or something like that...When I learn our paths have crossed I begin to do anything in my power to stay aboard, go to the same places, extend my trip plans, etc....
at first I'm afraid to go up to her, I try to get good timing, seeing if I should even show my presence, it's not spying, but I'm intrigued..Towards the middle/sometimes end, we eventually do meet up...and that's when my conscience gets to throw everything at me..In retrospect, the dream was an accumulation of the past three months..it was really messed up..It's something you just had to be there, it wasn't short, very long and drawn out, and I lack the details to type it out..I don't even think I could give a verbal presentation of it, but who knows...just parts that stuck out in my head I suppose....Feeling when I woke up: not good enough....
Another day gone....but I work tonight...got some things done, but half way doesn't really count now does it...still in the dark on a lot of things..got some mail sent out..planning my trip to Lansing (Illinois) sometime soon..very soon, well at least it needs to be done soon..I'm still playing the damn intro..I've organized somethings....the things I want to are in a place too cold to do any work in..so that's that...Good day
Well Here It Is...
So this is my first post in awhile..well it seems lie awhile to me...since I've had a lot of down time and been in front of or near the computer for most of it....Why weren't there a gazillion posts then? Eh who knows, I'm more or less afraid or tired to do it all right now, something like that..
I guess I'll bitch what appropriate timing the blog malfunctions are....The comments go down (not in a good way either...) and that damn weather chick is MIA, so what's up, is this all a conspiracy against me, something to make me realize all my posting is futile and worthless, something to get me to stop...ehh who cares
damn the apathetic mood I am in, though it may confuse some to say "laid back" mood, but whatever the case. I've got a bird that whistles, I've got birds that sing..Now which song will I make this be, it all falls on this last lyric...and I'll go with the on that in playing on winamp, the one I was originally thinking of until I started typing and saw the similarities to others songs...I have a baby, won't do nothing ...oh, buy a diamond ring..But I like the Corrina Corrina ending right now personally, I just wanted to throw Zeppelin into the mix..
you know the sad truth of the past couple days is as I sit here, I am compelled to pick up the guitar and play the intro to stairway to heaven, don't ask me why, but every 10 minutes I got Corrina in my hands and I'm playing the intro..over and over..I suppose the good thing is that I occasionally mix it up from the album version to the live one off of the song remains the same....
doo doo doo do do, do do. dooo do, do do. doo do, do do. do, do do do do do do do, dooo doo dooooo
ok, that was nice..Anyways, I'll end this here, I have to go for a minute..randomness..
But I ain' a-got Corrina, Life don't mean a thing..ok there it is...
So this is my first post in awhile..well it seems lie awhile to me...since I've had a lot of down time and been in front of or near the computer for most of it....Why weren't there a gazillion posts then? Eh who knows, I'm more or less afraid or tired to do it all right now, something like that..
I guess I'll bitch what appropriate timing the blog malfunctions are....The comments go down (not in a good way either...) and that damn weather chick is MIA, so what's up, is this all a conspiracy against me, something to make me realize all my posting is futile and worthless, something to get me to stop...ehh who cares
damn the apathetic mood I am in, though it may confuse some to say "laid back" mood, but whatever the case. I've got a bird that whistles, I've got birds that sing..Now which song will I make this be, it all falls on this last lyric...and I'll go with the on that in playing on winamp, the one I was originally thinking of until I started typing and saw the similarities to others songs...I have a baby, won't do nothing ...oh, buy a diamond ring..But I like the Corrina Corrina ending right now personally, I just wanted to throw Zeppelin into the mix..
you know the sad truth of the past couple days is as I sit here, I am compelled to pick up the guitar and play the intro to stairway to heaven, don't ask me why, but every 10 minutes I got Corrina in my hands and I'm playing the intro..over and over..I suppose the good thing is that I occasionally mix it up from the album version to the live one off of the song remains the same....
doo doo doo do do, do do. dooo do, do do. doo do, do do. do, do do do do do do do, dooo doo dooooo
ok, that was nice..Anyways, I'll end this here, I have to go for a minute..randomness..
But I ain' a-got Corrina, Life don't mean a thing..ok there it is...
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Nobody Feels Any Pain....
That has nothing to do with anything, just a song that was playing a moment ago..So there seems to be this misconception of me, of who I am...and it extends to everyone who knows me...
I'm sure to different people you are perceived differently, maybe you're quicker on your wit one day, or maybe you are just having a bad day, week, whatever...people won't have the same idea of who you are....
so to clear the record here's a little something...I am not infallible. Yeah I know it may seem like I put up some front where I am all high and mighty, nothing gets to me, I am godly..It's not true....
but even in that last statement there are falsities to who I am..Things bother me, things get to me, and it obvious just what they are...Now granted I don't think many of you have seen me cry, and if you have then wow..Most of the time people know I am crying about things either through away messages or blogs, things of that sort..So I guess it is implied.....
what person am I to you? If I knew the answer to those questions, maybe we could see some similarities and work with that....
I know one thing that would be a running theme, and I at times am proud of it...but if said by the wrong person, then I feel like shit...that one thing would be that I'm "crazy/different/weird/etc"...Yeah, it used to be good to know I was a little off the wall, off from the norms throwing in a little mix...But to what extent are people casually throwing that phrase out, to what extent do they mean it?
like the other day for example, I was at Barnes & Noble talking to Debbie P. From highschool, she apparently works there..Anyways, I made a comment, something about owning a four player chess board and her response was, "you're weird..that's something like you would do..I always knew you were weird.." (not a direct quote, but something along those lines...) of course I replied with something like, "yeah I know, I just play the game and see how long it takes everyone else to find out.." But it struck me then, I had just started conversation with this person, and they had already labeled me crazy, on whatever level....
I don't know, I used to like it and all, thinking I could/might actually be crazy in the artisitc sort of way, like a writer/painter/whatever...but I know that not to be the case..I was just hoping, making it so in my mind, all these times.....
one way I try to be clever is in my ambiguity, there's a lot left to be desired once I get through typing, whether it be a blog or away message (hell you can disregard the last 5 posts I made recently because they were only for me...Sometimes I do that, just to get things off my chest, to make me feel better, nobody will ever understand them....) but I feel or think I can be clever by making the readers mind do all the work...Sure it may seem like I'm pushing you one way, but that's too obvious, and totally not what I was going for...
I guess it's that wonder that builds my character, people think I'm doing something I'm not, pining over something I'm not, all because they lead themselves to believe it..I leave so many holes in what I write that you can't help but think to make it true..true wasn't the right word, I'm not lying to the world, I just had a different meaning for the words I wrote..It's like I made a trail and I'm seeing if you are going to follow it or not..Maybe it's some horrible psychological game I play..
anyways, I'm sorry for it all, from now forth I'll try to be more clear about things..If I ever make a blog post where I'm totally off the wall and I know it's not for anyone but me, I'll forewarn you to skip over
as always I am my own undoing, I believe that statement full heartedly, I ruin what I try to achieve, I push away the one thing I care most about, I kill myself..I see it all the time, and it's not intentional, it just happens, like there's no way around it....
but yeah, I'm sorry I seem so depressed at times...everyone is entitled to to whatever, right? I don't know...(I'm not emo, ha)but maybe I'm more apt to show my depression than I am my happiness..Am I seeking sympathy, someone's attention (what is your major malfunction...Did moma not give you enough attention when you were a baby?!)I don't know...people know when I am happy, I can pin point some things, but I guess I'm just a depressing sort of person that nobody wants to be around...
so what's with all this..ahh, long story, self-realization that was long overdue...Let's see how this pans out...
That has nothing to do with anything, just a song that was playing a moment ago..So there seems to be this misconception of me, of who I am...and it extends to everyone who knows me...
I'm sure to different people you are perceived differently, maybe you're quicker on your wit one day, or maybe you are just having a bad day, week, whatever...people won't have the same idea of who you are....
so to clear the record here's a little something...I am not infallible. Yeah I know it may seem like I put up some front where I am all high and mighty, nothing gets to me, I am godly..It's not true....
but even in that last statement there are falsities to who I am..Things bother me, things get to me, and it obvious just what they are...Now granted I don't think many of you have seen me cry, and if you have then wow..Most of the time people know I am crying about things either through away messages or blogs, things of that sort..So I guess it is implied.....
what person am I to you? If I knew the answer to those questions, maybe we could see some similarities and work with that....
I know one thing that would be a running theme, and I at times am proud of it...but if said by the wrong person, then I feel like shit...that one thing would be that I'm "crazy/different/weird/etc"...Yeah, it used to be good to know I was a little off the wall, off from the norms throwing in a little mix...But to what extent are people casually throwing that phrase out, to what extent do they mean it?
like the other day for example, I was at Barnes & Noble talking to Debbie P. From highschool, she apparently works there..Anyways, I made a comment, something about owning a four player chess board and her response was, "you're weird..that's something like you would do..I always knew you were weird.." (not a direct quote, but something along those lines...) of course I replied with something like, "yeah I know, I just play the game and see how long it takes everyone else to find out.." But it struck me then, I had just started conversation with this person, and they had already labeled me crazy, on whatever level....
I don't know, I used to like it and all, thinking I could/might actually be crazy in the artisitc sort of way, like a writer/painter/whatever...but I know that not to be the case..I was just hoping, making it so in my mind, all these times.....
one way I try to be clever is in my ambiguity, there's a lot left to be desired once I get through typing, whether it be a blog or away message (hell you can disregard the last 5 posts I made recently because they were only for me...Sometimes I do that, just to get things off my chest, to make me feel better, nobody will ever understand them....) but I feel or think I can be clever by making the readers mind do all the work...Sure it may seem like I'm pushing you one way, but that's too obvious, and totally not what I was going for...
I guess it's that wonder that builds my character, people think I'm doing something I'm not, pining over something I'm not, all because they lead themselves to believe it..I leave so many holes in what I write that you can't help but think to make it true..true wasn't the right word, I'm not lying to the world, I just had a different meaning for the words I wrote..It's like I made a trail and I'm seeing if you are going to follow it or not..Maybe it's some horrible psychological game I play..
anyways, I'm sorry for it all, from now forth I'll try to be more clear about things..If I ever make a blog post where I'm totally off the wall and I know it's not for anyone but me, I'll forewarn you to skip over
as always I am my own undoing, I believe that statement full heartedly, I ruin what I try to achieve, I push away the one thing I care most about, I kill myself..I see it all the time, and it's not intentional, it just happens, like there's no way around it....
but yeah, I'm sorry I seem so depressed at times...everyone is entitled to to whatever, right? I don't know...(I'm not emo, ha)but maybe I'm more apt to show my depression than I am my happiness..Am I seeking sympathy, someone's attention (what is your major malfunction...Did moma not give you enough attention when you were a baby?!)I don't know...people know when I am happy, I can pin point some things, but I guess I'm just a depressing sort of person that nobody wants to be around...
so what's with all this..ahh, long story, self-realization that was long overdue...Let's see how this pans out...
I Just Don't Understand....
I think that's all I have to say on that topic...I mean sure, I can sit here and wonder...but my head hurts, and has been for awhile, the headaches are coming to me more and more, I don't think they are necessarily caused by any certain thing, but maybe I'm overlooking those details...
I do suppress a lot of things come to think of it, huh, you were right....of course I probably said I didn't in some sort of natural defense, but that's just the way I am..
I don't know, I can't explain myself, there's a lot of things I've either taught myself, or was taught to do..Maybe it was something I learned not to do, "it wouldn't do any good to cry over spilled milk" sort of things..
so what do we do, what you follow I suppose is what makes you a certain person..What do you go with, gut instincts, logic, faith, your heart...just what do you follow....
and after you follow it, do you regret it, should you regret it, can it be wrong..if it's something you usually follow, can it be wrong? And if it is wrong...would you want it any other way..would you rather have followed something else, and lived in that doubt of what could have been....
How do most people sleep at night...are the conscience filled as much as mine is..and it's not like I'm saying it's filled with bad things like guilt or mine wrong doing....but other people's.
you know life would be simpler with a little help in certain departments..help from others in these departments would be greatly appreciated, but usually the harder to fight off topics can only be helped by less and less people, they're inversely related I assume...
alright, so what fate am I doomed to, well I think I pretty much got it down..I mean I'm living it now aren't I, ha, joke..well, kinda....I suppose if my reality wasn't enough torture, my dreams would be that nail in the coffin for it all....There's no escaping anything, no matter how much you suppress it all, it'll only come back to haunt you, in everyday events, in your sleep, everywhere, kinda like these lyrics..."You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me" ....hell, this test even thinks I suppress things..."A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death "..yup
so I lost what I was saying..but yeah..I know I must occupy my mind with something else to stop feeling this though...later
I think that's all I have to say on that topic...I mean sure, I can sit here and wonder...but my head hurts, and has been for awhile, the headaches are coming to me more and more, I don't think they are necessarily caused by any certain thing, but maybe I'm overlooking those details...
I do suppress a lot of things come to think of it, huh, you were right....of course I probably said I didn't in some sort of natural defense, but that's just the way I am..
I don't know, I can't explain myself, there's a lot of things I've either taught myself, or was taught to do..Maybe it was something I learned not to do, "it wouldn't do any good to cry over spilled milk" sort of things..
so what do we do, what you follow I suppose is what makes you a certain person..What do you go with, gut instincts, logic, faith, your heart...just what do you follow....
and after you follow it, do you regret it, should you regret it, can it be wrong..if it's something you usually follow, can it be wrong? And if it is wrong...would you want it any other way..would you rather have followed something else, and lived in that doubt of what could have been....
How do most people sleep at night...are the conscience filled as much as mine is..and it's not like I'm saying it's filled with bad things like guilt or mine wrong doing....but other people's.
you know life would be simpler with a little help in certain departments..help from others in these departments would be greatly appreciated, but usually the harder to fight off topics can only be helped by less and less people, they're inversely related I assume...
alright, so what fate am I doomed to, well I think I pretty much got it down..I mean I'm living it now aren't I, ha, joke..well, kinda....I suppose if my reality wasn't enough torture, my dreams would be that nail in the coffin for it all....There's no escaping anything, no matter how much you suppress it all, it'll only come back to haunt you, in everyday events, in your sleep, everywhere, kinda like these lyrics..."You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me" ....hell, this test even thinks I suppress things..."A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death "..yup
so I lost what I was saying..but yeah..I know I must occupy my mind with something else to stop feeling this though...later
While I Was on the Subject...
Alright, the death post thing got interrupted several times, and the very beginning of this post got disrupted as well..I can't help it people talk to me online....Anyways, so who knows where this one will go....
I think I was going to reference zach for the most part..I think the first thing that comes to mind with death and what justifies a good person or not all comes from the "Jeff Wein Incident" which way do you go in that situation....people stood by the man's character and said he was a good guy, went to church, involved with the kids, a great man...and then there are those who stand opposed to that saying he was mean to the kids he worked with, gambled his life away, and then of course killed his immediate family...
so then, "which side of Santa's list does he go on?" that would be from Zach....yeah he was a good man all his life, he just had this minor infraction, so is he good? Does one bad thing rule out all the good things....But maybe an extreme bad thing like this could make him to be a bad guy, could the one last event be a marker for his entire life..But it doesn't fit..So just where do you decide to stand?
Well if you are the Lord, then your judgment is easy, he's going to hell, he did wrong (killed his family and himself..) he will get his punishment for those acts he committed..So then one is to say, wouldn't all the good things he did give him less of a charge? Maybe it was a slip?....
I don't know, I don't like how the justice system in America works, I mean capitol punishment isn't enforced enough, it's too lengthy of a process, it's just ridiculous..Let's follow the example of Texas ya'll.....People get off and away with too much shit...I mean I look around and it's almost as if we are living in an anarchist environment..There's so much shit going wrong with the world today I'm just waiting for another flood...
but look at us, the human race, we never learn, one flood got our attentions for a little bit, but we're right back to where we began, but we're living in a time with a non-wrathful god, so we're screwed...Humans have soo many flaws it isn't even funny...
so what, we should take it upon ourselves to re-instill that fear of god into the people, we need to start making examples of people, start throwing the book at everyone possible....Look we have the technology today to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt who the real killer/raper/guilty party is in more than 95% of all crimes, so then let's use that to our advantage....
I've said this before and it's pretty bold and yes it has some contingencies, but out right I say, "you kill someone, you should be killed too" now of course that doesn't go in cases of self defense and things like that, I'm talking murder one shit...I think if you intentionally kill someone and you are proven guilty, it's goodbye for you, do you want AC or DC? Now some say that's harsh, people can change and be forgiven..But those cases are small, and half of them aren't sincere, so to hell with them, literally...
Same goes for people who inadvertently kill people because of their own negligence...like in the case of a recent car accident.....If anyone in the car "deserved" to die, the driver would get the apple for that one, I don't know about the other two victims, don't know what their stories are, but the driver, as I explained before, had many faults against him...And because of his poor decisions and actions a fellow friend of his was killed..You know the funny thing is I heard he was on suicide watch..You know if I were the one to be on watch, I'd hand him a belt and turn my back....but then again, that might be getting off to easy, but appropriate...
you see the ting is we let people off too easy, and then they become a burden...Our jail cells are vastly over populated..Are too many people doing wrong, or are we just not handing down judgments like we should...I'm not trying to be self-righteous here, I'm just saying we made laws and have the power to do what we want with them....If we choose to make laws and let people slip slide their way out of any little loophole they can find, and we let them do that...just what good are we doing for anyone? Why punish only a minority of the people and let so many get by with only slaps on their ....
Granted I know that only God may judge people, and his decisions are final, but that's all about the after life..We still have some power over what goes on all around us...and if we're wrong about something, maybe shouldn't have hung joey bob because he was truly and sincerly regretful, then god will do with him as he pleases..It's like getting a judgment from one court, then going for an appeal in another...We're just pushing you through the system, just like school....
and you know, once we start enforcing our rules like we should, our jails will become less full (part of the problem solved, now all we have to do is work on the standards of living for most of them and tune those down a bit...), causing less of a burden on the taxes; and people will get the hint.."Hey, they do mean business, let's not fuck around anymore.." because honestly, half of the crimes are committed because the fucks know they will get either away with it or off easy..So let's make a stand and vote yes for the death penalty!!!
See you in Hell you bastards!
Alright, the death post thing got interrupted several times, and the very beginning of this post got disrupted as well..I can't help it people talk to me online....Anyways, so who knows where this one will go....
I think I was going to reference zach for the most part..I think the first thing that comes to mind with death and what justifies a good person or not all comes from the "Jeff Wein Incident" which way do you go in that situation....people stood by the man's character and said he was a good guy, went to church, involved with the kids, a great man...and then there are those who stand opposed to that saying he was mean to the kids he worked with, gambled his life away, and then of course killed his immediate family...
so then, "which side of Santa's list does he go on?" that would be from Zach....yeah he was a good man all his life, he just had this minor infraction, so is he good? Does one bad thing rule out all the good things....But maybe an extreme bad thing like this could make him to be a bad guy, could the one last event be a marker for his entire life..But it doesn't fit..So just where do you decide to stand?
Well if you are the Lord, then your judgment is easy, he's going to hell, he did wrong (killed his family and himself..) he will get his punishment for those acts he committed..So then one is to say, wouldn't all the good things he did give him less of a charge? Maybe it was a slip?....
I don't know, I don't like how the justice system in America works, I mean capitol punishment isn't enforced enough, it's too lengthy of a process, it's just ridiculous..Let's follow the example of Texas ya'll.....People get off and away with too much shit...I mean I look around and it's almost as if we are living in an anarchist environment..There's so much shit going wrong with the world today I'm just waiting for another flood...
but look at us, the human race, we never learn, one flood got our attentions for a little bit, but we're right back to where we began, but we're living in a time with a non-wrathful god, so we're screwed...Humans have soo many flaws it isn't even funny...
so what, we should take it upon ourselves to re-instill that fear of god into the people, we need to start making examples of people, start throwing the book at everyone possible....Look we have the technology today to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt who the real killer/raper/guilty party is in more than 95% of all crimes, so then let's use that to our advantage....
I've said this before and it's pretty bold and yes it has some contingencies, but out right I say, "you kill someone, you should be killed too" now of course that doesn't go in cases of self defense and things like that, I'm talking murder one shit...I think if you intentionally kill someone and you are proven guilty, it's goodbye for you, do you want AC or DC? Now some say that's harsh, people can change and be forgiven..But those cases are small, and half of them aren't sincere, so to hell with them, literally...
Same goes for people who inadvertently kill people because of their own negligence...like in the case of a recent car accident.....If anyone in the car "deserved" to die, the driver would get the apple for that one, I don't know about the other two victims, don't know what their stories are, but the driver, as I explained before, had many faults against him...And because of his poor decisions and actions a fellow friend of his was killed..You know the funny thing is I heard he was on suicide watch..You know if I were the one to be on watch, I'd hand him a belt and turn my back....but then again, that might be getting off to easy, but appropriate...
you see the ting is we let people off too easy, and then they become a burden...Our jail cells are vastly over populated..Are too many people doing wrong, or are we just not handing down judgments like we should...I'm not trying to be self-righteous here, I'm just saying we made laws and have the power to do what we want with them....If we choose to make laws and let people slip slide their way out of any little loophole they can find, and we let them do that...just what good are we doing for anyone? Why punish only a minority of the people and let so many get by with only slaps on their ....
Granted I know that only God may judge people, and his decisions are final, but that's all about the after life..We still have some power over what goes on all around us...and if we're wrong about something, maybe shouldn't have hung joey bob because he was truly and sincerly regretful, then god will do with him as he pleases..It's like getting a judgment from one court, then going for an appeal in another...We're just pushing you through the system, just like school....
and you know, once we start enforcing our rules like we should, our jails will become less full (part of the problem solved, now all we have to do is work on the standards of living for most of them and tune those down a bit...), causing less of a burden on the taxes; and people will get the hint.."Hey, they do mean business, let's not fuck around anymore.." because honestly, half of the crimes are committed because the fucks know they will get either away with it or off easy..So let's make a stand and vote yes for the death penalty!!!
See you in Hell you bastards!
This Isn't Good....
And no, it doesn't deal with death..well, not in the same sense as before.....
So how do I spend my nights and days off, well doing nothing good that's for damn sure...but I'm not doing anything..They say idle hands are the play toys of the devil, well, yeah, I believe that to be so...look what I've done in the past hours.....Anyways
So what exactly did I do with an entire day off, well I didn't do any where that's for damned sure, I sat around, like a loaf (though not bread, I ran out...) I read blogs, but didn't read my books, look over them, look over at them, maybe picked them up, but didn't actually read them, what a waste..Oh that reminds me, this is for a different post...
so here we go with what was on me......The things I do, wow....There are things we should do, things we know we should do, things other people know we should do, and still, it never happens, why? I should've taken your advice, but why can't I? I mean I know I knew better, hell I do now as well, why does this keep happening, why do I let it happen...
as I sit here, looking over it all, I come to the conclusion that there is no way to pin a guilty tag anywhere in here...I have every piece of evidence one could want, granted there would be some pieces missing, but given everything else it's almost irrelevant, and very doubtful that would be a missing link in this web of lies..I can't ever fathom how it happened
I suppose the only person in the murder who really knows what was going through their head was the killer (and I suppose the victim if they happen to pull a Lizzie Borden on you..haha, axe joke..splitting of the head..haha..ha..)but yeah, only one person knows what happened, why it happened, all the little details, and unless they come out and give the information, everyone else is left to speculate what happened....And I suppose this is how bad rumors get started..too many ideas with not enough details, so anything sounds good...
so now I'm just babbling...not a good thing, not at all....especially when I've been up all day, running low on fuel and being powered by my own hidden conscious..Yeah, well disregard this post just as I will, not only the post but every little thought that caused it, suppression..couldn't have described it better myself....
***trying to lock this one back into the vault, or the ghost chamber...let's just hope nobody pulls the plug again....***
And no, it doesn't deal with death..well, not in the same sense as before.....
So how do I spend my nights and days off, well doing nothing good that's for damn sure...but I'm not doing anything..They say idle hands are the play toys of the devil, well, yeah, I believe that to be so...look what I've done in the past hours.....Anyways
So what exactly did I do with an entire day off, well I didn't do any where that's for damned sure, I sat around, like a loaf (though not bread, I ran out...) I read blogs, but didn't read my books, look over them, look over at them, maybe picked them up, but didn't actually read them, what a waste..Oh that reminds me, this is for a different post...
so here we go with what was on me......The things I do, wow....There are things we should do, things we know we should do, things other people know we should do, and still, it never happens, why? I should've taken your advice, but why can't I? I mean I know I knew better, hell I do now as well, why does this keep happening, why do I let it happen...
as I sit here, looking over it all, I come to the conclusion that there is no way to pin a guilty tag anywhere in here...I have every piece of evidence one could want, granted there would be some pieces missing, but given everything else it's almost irrelevant, and very doubtful that would be a missing link in this web of lies..I can't ever fathom how it happened
I suppose the only person in the murder who really knows what was going through their head was the killer (and I suppose the victim if they happen to pull a Lizzie Borden on you..haha, axe joke..splitting of the head..haha..ha..)but yeah, only one person knows what happened, why it happened, all the little details, and unless they come out and give the information, everyone else is left to speculate what happened....And I suppose this is how bad rumors get started..too many ideas with not enough details, so anything sounds good...
so now I'm just babbling...not a good thing, not at all....especially when I've been up all day, running low on fuel and being powered by my own hidden conscious..Yeah, well disregard this post just as I will, not only the post but every little thought that caused it, suppression..couldn't have described it better myself....
***trying to lock this one back into the vault, or the ghost chamber...let's just hope nobody pulls the plug again....***
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