Cheese and Wine
Hey it's me and i've got some things to say....why can't i live and let stupid things die, why must i hold grudges? my forgiveness level is virtually nonexistant, or if i do forgive, it is in the back of my mind only to reappear every now and then and eat away at me. grrrrr. another thing is, why am i so critical of everything else. as i said over the weekend, i don't try to do it, but i always find fault in something. i can't let someting go, i have to make soem shitty remark about it/them/whatever. i guess as of late it's been bothering me, go figure...oh you want to hear someting funny....i got carded to go into an R rated movie, what the shit? never in my life have i ever been asked to see my id. when they asked for it, i started to give them my michigan one so i could get my student discount, but they were like no, id with age on it, i was like, excuse me, and then pulled it out for them. yeah, i thought it was a crock...oh and last night i got called 3 times by the same number, in the end it wasn't a prank, they just were given the wrong number and finally got the right one, so they later called and appologized to me, it was funny....ohh and the comments are back up, so all if you could go back and make your posts on all the previous ones, it should be every blog on this page, thanks...
Monday, June 30, 2003
Friday, June 27, 2003
Mother Fuck
Dammit, just as i make an exciting new post, give great analogies, pose wonderful questions, and publicize it like no tomorrow, the F'ing comment system goes down. Bullmotherfuckingshit is what i say. Damn, damn , damn, it always happens. thanks klink family for fucking up my week, yeah bad enough i have to put up with blogger being down for a day,then you do your maintenance afterwards, convienant, grrrrrrr.......
Dammit, just as i make an exciting new post, give great analogies, pose wonderful questions, and publicize it like no tomorrow, the F'ing comment system goes down. Bullmotherfuckingshit is what i say. Damn, damn , damn, it always happens. thanks klink family for fucking up my week, yeah bad enough i have to put up with blogger being down for a day,then you do your maintenance afterwards, convienant, grrrrrrr.......
Thursday, June 26, 2003
UPDATE
I'm on a roll...
Well blogger fucked up on me during the first post of this, the one time i didn't copy everything before i hit the post button, why does this always happen? anways, like it says, i was on a great streak, i tripped and i was rolling..and nobody could stop me...except blogger, grrrr. So let me tell you about the most recent insights, revolations if you will...
Ok, so i've been working hard today, making posts and such, i even updated my Xanga. Hell i made a new post, triumvirate will be the word to use today, somewhat lengther than normal, but i think we all will enjoy it. but i also updated the picture, hell yes new picture to look at. and in lieu of the new pic, i also updated the subtitle, told you i was on a roll. I mean i want you to go and check it out for yourself, it's a thing of beauty, well to me at least. But i want all the comments from the posed question to go on here, under this posting because, well, i brought it up on here. (i know that sounds wierd, making comments on one blog about another, when they are both run by the same person, ay yi yi) but yeah, "what do you do when the light turns yellow?" it's worded a little diferently on my xanga, but still, what is your response. and it's more than just "how you drive" sort of thing, it's the way you live your life. think about it, that page with the picture and question are of philospoical brilliance. really i'm not crazy. take a minute and reflect on this question, then respond appropriatly on here. i know it is deep, please someone agree with me....
Check it, so in my updated post to the Blue35Tuesday Xanga, i also came up with a new analogy. i may not be as great as the first one, but nonetheless it's golden. basically it goes a little something like this...setup: you know how in horror movies, they actually mention it in Scream, or in video games the evil villian, bad guy, nemesis never die once, old cliche #42. the main characters rejoice after the first "killing" because they think they are free, then out of the blue when they least expect it, they have to fight it agian. well, basically that's what i'm saying love is like, rather love gone wrong, breaking up, giving your heart only for it to be crushed. You and your loved one call it quits, for whatever reason, and you go on fighting how badly you feel, you don't want it to end, or you're trying to figure out why, you're having trouble moving on. then after awhile you come to grips with it and go about your business, only to be struck down by it agian, out of nowhere the depression sinks back in and you're at square one. I know a few of you can relate to this, i've been seeing it happen and able to take notice of it as of late. for some reason i have been able to step out of the frame and look around at things, it's really interesting to see things once you've done that. If you don't understand, maybe the short story on my Xanga will help you out, but in all, i think it's an alright analogy, moving on...
And last but not least, the update we've all been waiting for, the update to the first analogy posted earlier today about life and it's many pieces. ok so you got those little pieces and you're trying to get them together and one falls, what do you do? and everyone knows what they do, they try to rebuild, and once they get everything back into place, they put more attention to that piece that fell...but what happens, another piece falls. they put more attention to the first piece that fell, only to have another piece to fall. then once they rebuild, they put attention on the piece that fell more recent, with less, but still some attention to the first fallen piece, and agian another falls. this process happens over and over, why? hell, it could be that it's not meant to be together, or because the right amount of attention has to be proportioned to the whole, it needs to be balanced adequately, just like life. you can't put that thing together unless every piece has attention, and yes sometimes you need extra help with it, either friend, table, whatever, but it all has to be ballanced out. You can't live your life dropping everything to tend to one matter, leaving behind and forgetting about all those other pieces, less you want to take the extra time to rebuild those back up. I could give examples, but i think we all understand, ok maybe one, "college: need the correct amount of time to study and to party, otherwise you'll fail out", but you see my point. life is all about balance. think about it, balance, that has to be the strongest word, balance. crazy people are said to be unbalanced, your inner ear keeps your equilibrium in balance, it's what the world revolves around. maybe this is stronger to me because i can speak personally about this, and yes, i let some things make me way unbalanced, but to truly put everything into a perfect harmony and balance, is to understand beyond normal thinking, of how you can and can't exist at the same time, how there can be a truth, yet there can't at the same time, to think and understand this is a key principle of buddhism....
the last sentence was achieved after speaking with my favortie asian and his shock to what i had just said to him, so i give him the credit about the buddhist stuff at the end, though i did ask for his help on the subject because i thought it sounded buddhist. the end
P.S. So far I'm liking this new blogger, it's easy ot use, and, so far so good, we'll see how well it stays up though
I'm on a roll...
Well blogger fucked up on me during the first post of this, the one time i didn't copy everything before i hit the post button, why does this always happen? anways, like it says, i was on a great streak, i tripped and i was rolling..and nobody could stop me...except blogger, grrrr. So let me tell you about the most recent insights, revolations if you will...
Ok, so i've been working hard today, making posts and such, i even updated my Xanga. Hell i made a new post, triumvirate will be the word to use today, somewhat lengther than normal, but i think we all will enjoy it. but i also updated the picture, hell yes new picture to look at. and in lieu of the new pic, i also updated the subtitle, told you i was on a roll. I mean i want you to go and check it out for yourself, it's a thing of beauty, well to me at least. But i want all the comments from the posed question to go on here, under this posting because, well, i brought it up on here. (i know that sounds wierd, making comments on one blog about another, when they are both run by the same person, ay yi yi) but yeah, "what do you do when the light turns yellow?" it's worded a little diferently on my xanga, but still, what is your response. and it's more than just "how you drive" sort of thing, it's the way you live your life. think about it, that page with the picture and question are of philospoical brilliance. really i'm not crazy. take a minute and reflect on this question, then respond appropriatly on here. i know it is deep, please someone agree with me....
Check it, so in my updated post to the Blue35Tuesday Xanga, i also came up with a new analogy. i may not be as great as the first one, but nonetheless it's golden. basically it goes a little something like this...setup: you know how in horror movies, they actually mention it in Scream, or in video games the evil villian, bad guy, nemesis never die once, old cliche #42. the main characters rejoice after the first "killing" because they think they are free, then out of the blue when they least expect it, they have to fight it agian. well, basically that's what i'm saying love is like, rather love gone wrong, breaking up, giving your heart only for it to be crushed. You and your loved one call it quits, for whatever reason, and you go on fighting how badly you feel, you don't want it to end, or you're trying to figure out why, you're having trouble moving on. then after awhile you come to grips with it and go about your business, only to be struck down by it agian, out of nowhere the depression sinks back in and you're at square one. I know a few of you can relate to this, i've been seeing it happen and able to take notice of it as of late. for some reason i have been able to step out of the frame and look around at things, it's really interesting to see things once you've done that. If you don't understand, maybe the short story on my Xanga will help you out, but in all, i think it's an alright analogy, moving on...
And last but not least, the update we've all been waiting for, the update to the first analogy posted earlier today about life and it's many pieces. ok so you got those little pieces and you're trying to get them together and one falls, what do you do? and everyone knows what they do, they try to rebuild, and once they get everything back into place, they put more attention to that piece that fell...but what happens, another piece falls. they put more attention to the first piece that fell, only to have another piece to fall. then once they rebuild, they put attention on the piece that fell more recent, with less, but still some attention to the first fallen piece, and agian another falls. this process happens over and over, why? hell, it could be that it's not meant to be together, or because the right amount of attention has to be proportioned to the whole, it needs to be balanced adequately, just like life. you can't put that thing together unless every piece has attention, and yes sometimes you need extra help with it, either friend, table, whatever, but it all has to be ballanced out. You can't live your life dropping everything to tend to one matter, leaving behind and forgetting about all those other pieces, less you want to take the extra time to rebuild those back up. I could give examples, but i think we all understand, ok maybe one, "college: need the correct amount of time to study and to party, otherwise you'll fail out", but you see my point. life is all about balance. think about it, balance, that has to be the strongest word, balance. crazy people are said to be unbalanced, your inner ear keeps your equilibrium in balance, it's what the world revolves around. maybe this is stronger to me because i can speak personally about this, and yes, i let some things make me way unbalanced, but to truly put everything into a perfect harmony and balance, is to understand beyond normal thinking, of how you can and can't exist at the same time, how there can be a truth, yet there can't at the same time, to think and understand this is a key principle of buddhism....
the last sentence was achieved after speaking with my favortie asian and his shock to what i had just said to him, so i give him the credit about the buddhist stuff at the end, though i did ask for his help on the subject because i thought it sounded buddhist. the end
P.S. So far I'm liking this new blogger, it's easy ot use, and, so far so good, we'll see how well it stays up though
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Great Analogy...
So i was talking with my favorite asian, tony, this morning. (oh funny side story, at kendall's open house, eating the fuit salad, i made some remarks about it and it's contents. well there were mandarin oranges in it, and i remembered that Tony is Mandarin. ok i thought it was hysterical). So we were talking about life, love lives, and everything else, and in retrospect of all this i came up with this great, brilliant?, analogy. now remember i had just woken up and instantly he's messaging me, i think he just woke up too, so this is pretty good for that circumstance. I made the comment how nothing in my life can be right all at once, bascially i was trying to state that as you solve or remidy one thing, something else goes amiss. then i made up this analogy on the spot to describe what i meant, and it's something i think we all can relate to as well. My life and what's been gonig on recently with it can best be related to when you're putting something together (like a model or anything that has come undone for that matter). You've got your fingers holding all the little pieces together (basically i am saying your life's problems are in your control, only you have reign over them, hence they are in your hand), and now all you have to do is screw it together, make it one (you want everyting to always be right, one entity, nothing wrong, all one piece), but, as we all know, there's always that peice that slips away, falls off, and so forth (i think this is selfexplanitory, solve one thing, there goes another).
now when i spoke to heather about this shortly after tony, she had some insight for this analogy
heatherlouise27: that's good...but it's not always just one piece, right now it seems like the whole thing just fell apart and now i have to start all over by putting them all together again...who the hell knows if things will ever be screwed together
heatherlouise27: matter of fact, i know they won't be, cuz that's not life
Blue35Tuesday: i don't think they ever will be, and that is how life is,
Blue35Tuesday: but you have to have help when putting it together, friends, family, something, to help you get things in order
heatherlouise27: ok, this may sound messed up but how do you know how they are to be put together in the first place? what shape should they take?
Blue35Tuesday: because of the ideals in your head
Blue35Tuesday: you think that's how they should be
heatherlouise27: should be? or want them to be?
Blue35Tuesday: yeah
Blue35Tuesday: both
Blue35Tuesday: we want them to be like that, and therefore think they should be like that, for our betterness
wow, fucked up conversations early in the morning. maybe i should wake up every morning with some sort of philospoical question and attempt to answer it, or not. if you have any insighteither make a comment, or do like the others and chat to me online, i think we all know my aim name. have a great day....
So i was talking with my favorite asian, tony, this morning. (oh funny side story, at kendall's open house, eating the fuit salad, i made some remarks about it and it's contents. well there were mandarin oranges in it, and i remembered that Tony is Mandarin. ok i thought it was hysterical). So we were talking about life, love lives, and everything else, and in retrospect of all this i came up with this great, brilliant?, analogy. now remember i had just woken up and instantly he's messaging me, i think he just woke up too, so this is pretty good for that circumstance. I made the comment how nothing in my life can be right all at once, bascially i was trying to state that as you solve or remidy one thing, something else goes amiss. then i made up this analogy on the spot to describe what i meant, and it's something i think we all can relate to as well. My life and what's been gonig on recently with it can best be related to when you're putting something together (like a model or anything that has come undone for that matter). You've got your fingers holding all the little pieces together (basically i am saying your life's problems are in your control, only you have reign over them, hence they are in your hand), and now all you have to do is screw it together, make it one (you want everyting to always be right, one entity, nothing wrong, all one piece), but, as we all know, there's always that peice that slips away, falls off, and so forth (i think this is selfexplanitory, solve one thing, there goes another).
now when i spoke to heather about this shortly after tony, she had some insight for this analogy
heatherlouise27: that's good...but it's not always just one piece, right now it seems like the whole thing just fell apart and now i have to start all over by putting them all together again...who the hell knows if things will ever be screwed together
heatherlouise27: matter of fact, i know they won't be, cuz that's not life
Blue35Tuesday: i don't think they ever will be, and that is how life is,
Blue35Tuesday: but you have to have help when putting it together, friends, family, something, to help you get things in order
heatherlouise27: ok, this may sound messed up but how do you know how they are to be put together in the first place? what shape should they take?
Blue35Tuesday: because of the ideals in your head
Blue35Tuesday: you think that's how they should be
heatherlouise27: should be? or want them to be?
Blue35Tuesday: yeah
Blue35Tuesday: both
Blue35Tuesday: we want them to be like that, and therefore think they should be like that, for our betterness
wow, fucked up conversations early in the morning. maybe i should wake up every morning with some sort of philospoical question and attempt to answer it, or not. if you have any insighteither make a comment, or do like the others and chat to me online, i think we all know my aim name. have a great day....
Monday, June 23, 2003
Don't Say You Didn't
Yeah, well tonight was one fucked up night, yeah i'm swearing, i'm fucking aggitated. well there's so much that happened, but basically i didn't end up gonig to RtC like i said i was going to, and apparently planned. yeah, but right now, i know they are there, and i know they are just talking shit right now. started by one individual, which got another going, and then they all chimmed in. hell they even got andy in it as well. it just fucking pisses me off, they have no idea what the situation is, yet they are quick to judge and put in their shitty little comments. grrr, fuck it. i'm so...i don't even know, like i said tongiht was a night from hell. all i know is i'm fuckng hungry and this is one pissy blog, there hasn't been one of those in awhile. well i guess those fuckers can make it up to me tomorrow (tuesday) if they so wish, or i can get them back, i do nothing all day tomorrow...century 21 cancelled their floor meeting, and i got myself off from alco, only to be ditched kinda, and i don't work at target, one hell of a fuckng day tomorrow, let's see what happens...this is your only redemption bastards...
Yeah, well tonight was one fucked up night, yeah i'm swearing, i'm fucking aggitated. well there's so much that happened, but basically i didn't end up gonig to RtC like i said i was going to, and apparently planned. yeah, but right now, i know they are there, and i know they are just talking shit right now. started by one individual, which got another going, and then they all chimmed in. hell they even got andy in it as well. it just fucking pisses me off, they have no idea what the situation is, yet they are quick to judge and put in their shitty little comments. grrr, fuck it. i'm so...i don't even know, like i said tongiht was a night from hell. all i know is i'm fuckng hungry and this is one pissy blog, there hasn't been one of those in awhile. well i guess those fuckers can make it up to me tomorrow (tuesday) if they so wish, or i can get them back, i do nothing all day tomorrow...century 21 cancelled their floor meeting, and i got myself off from alco, only to be ditched kinda, and i don't work at target, one hell of a fuckng day tomorrow, let's see what happens...this is your only redemption bastards...
Sunday, June 22, 2003
The Name's Dumass...
Ok, after a quick look over the "Let's See..." posting i noticed that as i was telling my quasi sleep-deprived story about being somewhat insomniac, i went on totally diffferent tangents and never really got on track agian.so yeah, i'm a dumbas, what can i say. see that's the reason why i don't make many casual postings, if i do, it's an event, also another reason why i don't read, i have ADHD, or something like it. I guess that's all for now, just ranting about myself being retarded, until next time, this is jason angus signing off.....
Ok, after a quick look over the "Let's See..." posting i noticed that as i was telling my quasi sleep-deprived story about being somewhat insomniac, i went on totally diffferent tangents and never really got on track agian.so yeah, i'm a dumbas, what can i say. see that's the reason why i don't make many casual postings, if i do, it's an event, also another reason why i don't read, i have ADHD, or something like it. I guess that's all for now, just ranting about myself being retarded, until next time, this is jason angus signing off.....
Damn....
Ha, she was right, i would fall to my little blog....well instead of talking about that, just yet, i'll talk about other random crap.....Oh so i think it is unbelievable the fact that my insomnia state might be coming back, but it's not really insomnia, it's a little different, let me explain...thursday=got some sleep til about 10, was up for a bit and tried to lay back down, due to unsettling things and phone calls and this and that i didn't clunk out til after 630, then got up at 915 and headed to the land of high to work at target for the evening, but also making a quick stop into RtC to see Andy and Vince. After work i had to take a fellow employee home in merillville, damn people, and then it was onto shopping at meijer. they were having thier saturdaze sales, i got 4 jack's pizza for 6.36! realizing it was well after 9 i quickly flew home where i tried shoving all the frozen stuff i bought into the little top freezer part, showered then it was onto nancy's. from 10 to 12ish she was giving some new agent orientation thing. she's...i don't want to say out of fear of the wrong people seeing it, but you all know what i think. Came home a little bit later and got things together here, got directions and a time for the comstock open house, so as i said in my previous blog, i wasn't able to eat. came to the conclusion that the open house didn't start til 3 so i had time to kill, not enough to sleep, but i wasn't tired anyways. so i headed up to office something or another and got some legal paper and other things i needed, then headed back to lowell. luckily there were signs and thus was able to find the place. i did eat, but it wasn't plate filling and i didn't go back for seconds. played a quick game of volleyball or so and then we all sat down. there were a lot of people i didn't know, no big whoop, i'm antisocial so it's ok, but more people came as the time passed. then entered Corinne (i think that is how you spell it, pronounced Core-inn) with the light coming from behind her i thought she took a stunning resemblance of my lovely brooke. Ironically enough she sat across from me and soon there after started to make conversation with me. even her personality reminded me of her, i quickly pointed this out to her and asked if she knew brooke, but she didn't. we talked, her about stupid things, me about my lovely brooke, it was good. i thought a funny thing that happened was we were taling then, for some reason i had to say my name, so i said jason angus, the first time everyone heard my name in full, but i was just saying it to one person, everyone over heard and it was funny how one by one everyone made a comment, first it was corinne, saying how she knew me, and other chimed in after wards, funny, but the clincher is someone whom i never seen before tunred to me and was like, "oh yeah, i remember you, i touched your hair" and left it at tat like i sould remember or something. what in the hell? ah well back to my main story..left there around 7, then laid down. got up at 930 and headed to target. crazy time, up for 22 hours on little sleep, then only getting 2 hours of sleep, and heading back out to target. got done with that and got home by 715, got woken up by a phone call at 1111 and then stirred from there on out til i got out of bed around 1230 and here i am. agian i am hungry as hell, but am holding out for that free open hosue food, kendalls' open house is today, but i am waiting for someone like vince to return my call so we can go over together, i hate going to these things alone.so it's about 3 and i think i'll wrap up this post. i've already ruined my day, but i won't talk about that, instead, i'll listen to music, later get free food, pass out agian, and then go to work, hopefully all my worries will wash away, or something of the sort. till then. hopefully i'll blog later, maybe tomorrow, yeah, i l*******, goodbye.....
Ha, she was right, i would fall to my little blog....well instead of talking about that, just yet, i'll talk about other random crap.....Oh so i think it is unbelievable the fact that my insomnia state might be coming back, but it's not really insomnia, it's a little different, let me explain...thursday=got some sleep til about 10, was up for a bit and tried to lay back down, due to unsettling things and phone calls and this and that i didn't clunk out til after 630, then got up at 915 and headed to the land of high to work at target for the evening, but also making a quick stop into RtC to see Andy and Vince. After work i had to take a fellow employee home in merillville, damn people, and then it was onto shopping at meijer. they were having thier saturdaze sales, i got 4 jack's pizza for 6.36! realizing it was well after 9 i quickly flew home where i tried shoving all the frozen stuff i bought into the little top freezer part, showered then it was onto nancy's. from 10 to 12ish she was giving some new agent orientation thing. she's...i don't want to say out of fear of the wrong people seeing it, but you all know what i think. Came home a little bit later and got things together here, got directions and a time for the comstock open house, so as i said in my previous blog, i wasn't able to eat. came to the conclusion that the open house didn't start til 3 so i had time to kill, not enough to sleep, but i wasn't tired anyways. so i headed up to office something or another and got some legal paper and other things i needed, then headed back to lowell. luckily there were signs and thus was able to find the place. i did eat, but it wasn't plate filling and i didn't go back for seconds. played a quick game of volleyball or so and then we all sat down. there were a lot of people i didn't know, no big whoop, i'm antisocial so it's ok, but more people came as the time passed. then entered Corinne (i think that is how you spell it, pronounced Core-inn) with the light coming from behind her i thought she took a stunning resemblance of my lovely brooke. Ironically enough she sat across from me and soon there after started to make conversation with me. even her personality reminded me of her, i quickly pointed this out to her and asked if she knew brooke, but she didn't. we talked, her about stupid things, me about my lovely brooke, it was good. i thought a funny thing that happened was we were taling then, for some reason i had to say my name, so i said jason angus, the first time everyone heard my name in full, but i was just saying it to one person, everyone over heard and it was funny how one by one everyone made a comment, first it was corinne, saying how she knew me, and other chimed in after wards, funny, but the clincher is someone whom i never seen before tunred to me and was like, "oh yeah, i remember you, i touched your hair" and left it at tat like i sould remember or something. what in the hell? ah well back to my main story..left there around 7, then laid down. got up at 930 and headed to target. crazy time, up for 22 hours on little sleep, then only getting 2 hours of sleep, and heading back out to target. got done with that and got home by 715, got woken up by a phone call at 1111 and then stirred from there on out til i got out of bed around 1230 and here i am. agian i am hungry as hell, but am holding out for that free open hosue food, kendalls' open house is today, but i am waiting for someone like vince to return my call so we can go over together, i hate going to these things alone.so it's about 3 and i think i'll wrap up this post. i've already ruined my day, but i won't talk about that, instead, i'll listen to music, later get free food, pass out agian, and then go to work, hopefully all my worries will wash away, or something of the sort. till then. hopefully i'll blog later, maybe tomorrow, yeah, i l*******, goodbye.....
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Let's See....
Well, this is a response, in blog form to a comment on my last post made by Zach. Ok, so for the first question, i'm not sure how long it will be, i'll make a general statement and say my house will probably be on the market for about 60 days. I am not off the ALCO payroll, yet, i still go in and work, and i think next week george has me down for a lot of shifts, i'll see what i can do. I haven't gotten any money from working with nancy yet, though she has, "given" me money for bringing the buyer george to them, she said that would be to cover some start up fees such as name badge, business cards and such. Target is target, i'm happy with them, but there's a new team relations person who is really stinging everyone on attendance issues, and i'm at the end of that stick as well, on probation and such and calling off for my ear infection. hopefully they don't fire me, i've seen 2 walk-offs since i've been there, and one person somewhat justifully fired, but still there's always the others that should be fired but somehow are still there. i see good things to come with this munster store opening. Sadly i haven't learned any songs on the guitar yet, i am stil trying to learn how to progress my chords, i really suck at that, but i got the intro to stairway down pretty well. in fact zach, i'm using methodists suck to help me learn progression, thanks. and last, but never least, brooke and i are, well brooke and i, we all know how that is. i love her very much, but at times it seems i just can't do enough to please her. i don't know what i can do, i make her mad, and she doesn't know why, but when we're good, we're great, i just wish we had more times like that.well that's all for now, hopefully that fills you up, now time for sleep....
Oh, side note, funny little story i thoguht i should add in, i've been hungry ever since i went shopping, and we all know that going shopping while being hungry is a bozo no no. that was at 8 or so, then i had to make it home to shower and change to go to the real estate training thing. so now it is 2 and i still have not eaten, but this whole time i've been telling myself everytime i say that i am hungry, i say no, you are going to an open house,, there will be food there. i told me mom not to let me eat, and as i sat here and blogged i made a post it note not to eat, free food awaits. so yeah i thought that was funny, i'm sure you all can picture that, well yeah, i'm off for my free food before i die, good day.
Well, this is a response, in blog form to a comment on my last post made by Zach. Ok, so for the first question, i'm not sure how long it will be, i'll make a general statement and say my house will probably be on the market for about 60 days. I am not off the ALCO payroll, yet, i still go in and work, and i think next week george has me down for a lot of shifts, i'll see what i can do. I haven't gotten any money from working with nancy yet, though she has, "given" me money for bringing the buyer george to them, she said that would be to cover some start up fees such as name badge, business cards and such. Target is target, i'm happy with them, but there's a new team relations person who is really stinging everyone on attendance issues, and i'm at the end of that stick as well, on probation and such and calling off for my ear infection. hopefully they don't fire me, i've seen 2 walk-offs since i've been there, and one person somewhat justifully fired, but still there's always the others that should be fired but somehow are still there. i see good things to come with this munster store opening. Sadly i haven't learned any songs on the guitar yet, i am stil trying to learn how to progress my chords, i really suck at that, but i got the intro to stairway down pretty well. in fact zach, i'm using methodists suck to help me learn progression, thanks. and last, but never least, brooke and i are, well brooke and i, we all know how that is. i love her very much, but at times it seems i just can't do enough to please her. i don't know what i can do, i make her mad, and she doesn't know why, but when we're good, we're great, i just wish we had more times like that.well that's all for now, hopefully that fills you up, now time for sleep....
Oh, side note, funny little story i thoguht i should add in, i've been hungry ever since i went shopping, and we all know that going shopping while being hungry is a bozo no no. that was at 8 or so, then i had to make it home to shower and change to go to the real estate training thing. so now it is 2 and i still have not eaten, but this whole time i've been telling myself everytime i say that i am hungry, i say no, you are going to an open house,, there will be food there. i told me mom not to let me eat, and as i sat here and blogged i made a post it note not to eat, free food awaits. so yeah i thought that was funny, i'm sure you all can picture that, well yeah, i'm off for my free food before i die, good day.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Hey, What Up Yo....
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know it's been awhile for me to update, or even go on a streak of steady bloggings, even my Xanga is behind. So what is going on with me, well somehow I am still living in my house, yes I am selling it, but I'm still here, i keep telling myself that it won't be for much longer so when it does happened, I will be prepared. I got started with my real estate thing, I work for Nancy at Century 21 Destiny Realty in Lowell, yay. Yeah, a homeless realtor, go figure. well my internet connection is being a bitch, can't load up thses pages worth crap. I'm not sure as to why I am donig this, I mean I have nothing to really say. I've taken some time off from ALCO, partly because i hate it and trying to get my feet wet in this realty thing, and since i've asked for some time off george has been a **insert bad word here** agian. apparently because i don't work at alco, he assumes i don't work at all, as shown here in this conversation:
gtvon (12:26:39 PM): i'll go eat something now
gtvon (12:26:45 PM): and then to work
gtvon (12:26:49 PM): you know what that is?
gtvon (12:26:54 PM): >:o
he's always said i can take 28 days off, and bla bla bla, yeah, i've said before i want to quit alco, it's pathetic. and since i've taken some days off i've loved it, i've been catching up on my sleep and everything, Ohh how i wish i could do this more often, i knw i've said this before, but i don't want to qork so much especially when brooke is in town, i want to be able to spend time with her. oh what a crazy world we live in. oh, and thanks to vince for letting me borrow your guitar, even though i'm still trying to make time to play it, sad face, well that's it, i'm gonig to sleep now...
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know it's been awhile for me to update, or even go on a streak of steady bloggings, even my Xanga is behind. So what is going on with me, well somehow I am still living in my house, yes I am selling it, but I'm still here, i keep telling myself that it won't be for much longer so when it does happened, I will be prepared. I got started with my real estate thing, I work for Nancy at Century 21 Destiny Realty in Lowell, yay. Yeah, a homeless realtor, go figure. well my internet connection is being a bitch, can't load up thses pages worth crap. I'm not sure as to why I am donig this, I mean I have nothing to really say. I've taken some time off from ALCO, partly because i hate it and trying to get my feet wet in this realty thing, and since i've asked for some time off george has been a **insert bad word here** agian. apparently because i don't work at alco, he assumes i don't work at all, as shown here in this conversation:
gtvon (12:26:39 PM): i'll go eat something now
gtvon (12:26:45 PM): and then to work
gtvon (12:26:49 PM): you know what that is?
gtvon (12:26:54 PM): >:o
he's always said i can take 28 days off, and bla bla bla, yeah, i've said before i want to quit alco, it's pathetic. and since i've taken some days off i've loved it, i've been catching up on my sleep and everything, Ohh how i wish i could do this more often, i knw i've said this before, but i don't want to qork so much especially when brooke is in town, i want to be able to spend time with her. oh what a crazy world we live in. oh, and thanks to vince for letting me borrow your guitar, even though i'm still trying to make time to play it, sad face, well that's it, i'm gonig to sleep now...
Saturday, June 14, 2003
Here's a Little Something I Thought Was Funny...
Ok, so Tuesday morning comes, just get off work at Target and headed over to Retail Rodeo, i mean ALCO because i was unable to place my order on monday. I'm there, so my thing and Geroge is being pissy once agian, part reason why i left early on Monday, so i told him in lieu of this I wouldn't be coming infor my tuesday night schedule, i don't want to be around in a place that treats me like that, the world does enough for me. He then starts bitching about how tight the schedule is, funny thing, he was just complaining on monday how we could afford to loose at least one person per shift each day, i laughed. then without even questioning why i needed the day off, he yells to me about how he doesn't think it is fair to take a day off to move my shit, yet let's think back to one week ago, he took off an entire weekend and a week's worth of vacation to "move" into his house. the reason why i put move in quotes is because he was given 9 days to get everything over into his house and unpacked, well everything's over yes, but it's all in the garage, and what's worse is that all his stuff had to be moved out of the apartment that first wekend, so what he did with the other 7 days is beyound anyone. once agian i chuckle. I don't know, it just angers me when people are hypocrites.well that's about all for now, i'm sure i'll ramble some more later
Ok, so Tuesday morning comes, just get off work at Target and headed over to Retail Rodeo, i mean ALCO because i was unable to place my order on monday. I'm there, so my thing and Geroge is being pissy once agian, part reason why i left early on Monday, so i told him in lieu of this I wouldn't be coming infor my tuesday night schedule, i don't want to be around in a place that treats me like that, the world does enough for me. He then starts bitching about how tight the schedule is, funny thing, he was just complaining on monday how we could afford to loose at least one person per shift each day, i laughed. then without even questioning why i needed the day off, he yells to me about how he doesn't think it is fair to take a day off to move my shit, yet let's think back to one week ago, he took off an entire weekend and a week's worth of vacation to "move" into his house. the reason why i put move in quotes is because he was given 9 days to get everything over into his house and unpacked, well everything's over yes, but it's all in the garage, and what's worse is that all his stuff had to be moved out of the apartment that first wekend, so what he did with the other 7 days is beyound anyone. once agian i chuckle. I don't know, it just angers me when people are hypocrites.well that's about all for now, i'm sure i'll ramble some more later
Thursday, June 12, 2003
Quick Little Things...
So i had many things to blog about, so much stuff has been going on the past week, but i haven't had any time to blog about them, and because it goes so far back and the newer stuff relies on the older stuff, and i can't remember all the details, it will go without being said, instead here are just some random statemtns that are/went through my mind in no order whatsoever.....
Brooke is back, yay. i know now why i can't eeat candy, i've been really tired lately, i saw this coming, my radar made a new noise the other day, one i haven't heard in my 3 years owning it.deep, the target in highland is hiring, yes that's right all you people who need jobs, i learned the A chord, i suck, i am partly to blame, the Matrix 2 is crap, the dogs are gone, i'm running out of time, i drove without my glasses, i need to get adequate sleep, but i'm not liking the dreams i've been having, does everybody know, why why why, doing laundry is expensive, sometimes the pain is too much, but then agian i'm still here, so it hasn't reached "enough" yet, 3 hours shifts? that's funny, i don't know what else, i forgot everything i was going to say as i sat down screw it i'm donw, there's a post for you...
So i had many things to blog about, so much stuff has been going on the past week, but i haven't had any time to blog about them, and because it goes so far back and the newer stuff relies on the older stuff, and i can't remember all the details, it will go without being said, instead here are just some random statemtns that are/went through my mind in no order whatsoever.....
Brooke is back, yay. i know now why i can't eeat candy, i've been really tired lately, i saw this coming, my radar made a new noise the other day, one i haven't heard in my 3 years owning it.deep, the target in highland is hiring, yes that's right all you people who need jobs, i learned the A chord, i suck, i am partly to blame, the Matrix 2 is crap, the dogs are gone, i'm running out of time, i drove without my glasses, i need to get adequate sleep, but i'm not liking the dreams i've been having, does everybody know, why why why, doing laundry is expensive, sometimes the pain is too much, but then agian i'm still here, so it hasn't reached "enough" yet, 3 hours shifts? that's funny, i don't know what else, i forgot everything i was going to say as i sat down screw it i'm donw, there's a post for you...
Thursday, June 05, 2003
MWHAHAHAHAHA
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Very High |
| Schizoid: | Moderate |
| Schizotypal: | Very High |
| Antisocial: | High |
| Borderline: | Very High |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | High |
| Dependent: | Very High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
I Feel Like Shit
Ohh, I am in a terrible condition. I don't even know where to begin. Let's go with waking up...whenever it is that i do wake up, i am in much much pain. My entire head throbs in pain. opening up my eyes to see what time it is hurts, followed with sharp shooting pains in my temples. my jaw hurts, and i can feel this pain extending to my ears. I toss and turn, rolling over to get comfortable, but nothing is achieved. This happens everytime i wake up. if i am asleep and something wakes me up, i cannot fall back asleep. I may have been asleep for 15 minutes and still have 6 hours to go, i can't fall back alseep. i try everything to get back to sleep, and when i finally do, it's only moments before i have to get up, and getting up is impossible. this goes round and round. it makes me want to cry at times, i'm not sure what is causing this, but i want it to stop, i cannot function properly with iths going on, i drag through thr day, wishing i could go to sleep, and when i do get to lay down, i can't. it's like a terrible hangover that won't go away. ahhh, that is all, goodinght.
Ohh, I am in a terrible condition. I don't even know where to begin. Let's go with waking up...whenever it is that i do wake up, i am in much much pain. My entire head throbs in pain. opening up my eyes to see what time it is hurts, followed with sharp shooting pains in my temples. my jaw hurts, and i can feel this pain extending to my ears. I toss and turn, rolling over to get comfortable, but nothing is achieved. This happens everytime i wake up. if i am asleep and something wakes me up, i cannot fall back asleep. I may have been asleep for 15 minutes and still have 6 hours to go, i can't fall back alseep. i try everything to get back to sleep, and when i finally do, it's only moments before i have to get up, and getting up is impossible. this goes round and round. it makes me want to cry at times, i'm not sure what is causing this, but i want it to stop, i cannot function properly with iths going on, i drag through thr day, wishing i could go to sleep, and when i do get to lay down, i can't. it's like a terrible hangover that won't go away. ahhh, that is all, goodinght.
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