New iPhone?

did you really...
..could it be true

yes, yes i paid $300 for something i already had

sooooooo, what's the fuck..why would someone who has so vehemently hated the iphone, gone out and bought, literally the same thing..paying good money for something they already had? well, long story short, it's not the same.

the iphone 3Gs should have been the first iphone that apple put out, this phone is worthy of having a label associated with apple. the first phone was a crapshoot - i don't know if i ever posted my extreme dislike for that piece of shit on here before, but one of TJ's friends once asked for a review on it as they were doing a paper on the phone right after it came out....we both wrote our responses, each response totaling close to two thousand words, when come to find out the paper only had to be 750 words, lol.

the second phone that apple introduce was a joke of an update. after one year they hadn't resolved much of any of the the problems with the original...and what i hated most probably were the tons of people that would some pick up their first iphone and rally behind it, as if they were supporters the entire time...as if this 3G phone was actually better than the first...people would soon fall from their self-proposed pedestals...

so now two years later from the release of the original and where are we..3Gs? what the fuck does "s" stand for..super, stupid, shit, stellar...in my opinion, "shoulda been the first, oops"

out of the box the "s" looks exactly like the 2nd generation 3G, but you know the old cliche saying of "don't judge a bitch by her rack" from the get-go the feel is different...the screen has a new coating on it that is noticeable to the avid iphone user...the response time to finger movement is amazing (one thing i have praised apple about is their ability to have a great touch screen interface, very response, no hard hitting needed, no delays, nothing from the competition can *coughcough* touch it) the applications also load a lot faster as well, as a new processor and o/s were installed in the "s". the bluetooth capabilities are now legit-no longer do you need that little box attached to the bottom of your phone for stereo-the camera has had a major overhaul allowing for focusing and now video, and the list can go on...

i love how the 3G'ers are all pissed and refuse to recognize this phone as superior to theirs, but truth be told in side-by-side comparison, it kicks it's ass...my suggestion - if you have the original, get the "s" ...if you have the 3G, get the "s" ...with video capability and soon mms messaging on a faster network, it's like an actual phone...you know, like the one you had before you tossed it aside and got that shitty iphone..do you remember....

ahhhh, i can't wait to have mms to have a real phone again, but in the meantime, i am actually happy with my purchase....











"32gb White please, and no funny stuff..i don't want to chuck this phone through your window like i did with the last one"

What's Today's Name?!

oh right..
i think someone forgot...

don't take that, or any attitude with me on today

so today i worked a double....the only break i had was in between my check out at 315 and pre-shift at 4..wow.... *side note - i love the fact that my workplace/management is the only place i have ever worked at where the doubles come in on their second shift before the other half starts their first...that's right...doubles will work 1030 & 4..whereas singles will stroll into work at 530...everything has already been done for them and they are gonna close, get the most covers, and also make the most money...probably more than any double did on both shifts combined..while working a lot less hours for it....fair, not really.

so it's after pre-shift and a few of the single-shifters are actually here at 4 today, wow. so naturally i am slow to start up with an real work...i'll play "polish" in my section, stand up at the host stand to see where i am at and what my tables need to be set for, but as for lemons/butters/whatever...that's for the fresh people who just got here...

i try to avoid the alley as much as possible early in the shift - that's when people are doing their sidework and will rope anyone that comes near them to help out. now this is a problem because the path out to the bathroom or to the back dock is right through the alley...so if you were in need to smoke, potty, whatever you have to walk right through the line of fire so to speak...you cannot linger in the alley, or talk amoungst other co-workers..your time in the alley needs to be as minimal as possible...you need to quickly dart through there as if you are on a mission, because, well, you kinda are...

now, this is easier said than done....the alley is like a vacuum, and as much as you intend on avoiding it, there are only so many places you can stand and talk for so long, you'll eventually find yourself in the alley, leaning on something and talking...i don't know how many times i swear i've woken up to someone asking me to help them out, realizing i wasn't at the bar like the last time i remembered...

so it happened today..and people were all hustlin' and bustlin' about trying to get caught up. lunch was decently busy so we were on lower supply than normal to start the evening off with. it wasn't really low, just out of the comfort range which the night crew usually walks into - ohhh, the ever long battle of who fucks over who the most.....does the night crew leave lots of silverware for the morning crew to take care of, or does the morning crew not give a fuck and leave lots of work for the night crew...answer, both. but the morning crew has the winning advantage in this scenario, those who work the morning shift have to set up the tables for the dinner shift; i.e. the party tables, where there are minimums to be had and what the servers are making is already known...money on demand and they didn't have to do a thing for it..

so today i'm trying to catch a little break and ignore the fools that just came in, but as luck may have it, i'm caught in the back doing minimalistic work. now i am working, polishing some glasses or silverware or what have you..but when it comes to the real tedious work of lemons/butters, eff all that....so the night crew is stressing and start to point blame on the lunch crew and that's about when i let loose.

i don't blow up, o, that would not be in the name or spirit of the day...i kindly remind everyone that it's thursday, or first reservations aren't for another 2 hours...everybody just needs to chill the fuck out..the work will get done, stressing over it is only gonna agitate everyone..

why are people like this...there was no time constraint, there was no need for people to start worrying about the lack of sets, i don't know it just bothers me and i'm done talking about it...










"di..did everyone forget what today is...do i need to remind them?!"

OverLoaded

overwhelmed..
but it's just right..

because if it's not all right at first, fuck it

And to think, when i started getting back into blogging at the beginning of this week, i originally had to 'pace' myself because i was a day ahead of my blogs...now, well, i'm like the bulls struggling to come back from behind...

so after all my visitors have come and gone it's time to get things right on my end..so, naturally i take on too many large tasks at one time...so with the induction of so many different things into my life, it's only fair to say it's causing a strain on me.

i want to keep writing, i would really like to write something every day - i get a kick out of looking at my blogger homepage and seeing all my posts, with all the dates they were posted next to it in a numerical succession...i know i've said before to others, if you want to write, then f'ing do it, so i really don't have an excuse..but sometimes i avoid writing because i know how long it actually takes to fully make a blog posting.. granted ideally i try to write a blog in one sitting, no interruptions, and definitely on reading back on what i wrote..it's hard when i'm sitting on the computer...people will only IM, or facebook chat me when i'm writing (and ughhhh, facebook chat is the worst - only because i am then locked into that tabbed page in my browser, not allowing me to go anywhere else..)

something else i tried to get back into this week was going to the gym...it's been since my sickness back in the middle of march since i was dedicated about going. since march up until last week i probably saw the inside of a gym for a count less than double digits - and it shows.

i'm an all or nothing type of person, i'll either do something fully right, or not do it at all...doing something half-assed or temporarily is a waste in my opinion. like there was a time i wanted a display shelf for my salt shaker collection, i had this grand layout of what i wanted. then someone suggested to me to make up something not as grandiose in the meantime to hold the shakers - i scoffed at the idea, why would i waste money, time, and effort of something that wasn't up to my standards, something i didn't really want, something that was just going to get replaced..

same goes for actions in my life, such as the gym...sure there have been days i probably could have made it into the gym, but that was only a couple times a week..the other days were chockabok full, so any weight training would render useless .... you see where i'm going with this...

so i like starting clean slate, cold turkey, big/powerful movements..and in the process of doing so, i can take off a little more than i can chew...starting blogging, and working out, and other things all on the same week, the same day, it can get a little hectic...i naturally take on more than i should, but i am able to handle it just as well...

like the other day it was lunch, and my manager asked me to pick up a table because the server it was assigned to couldn't get to it....picking up that table would make it my sixth table, mind you i have a VIP all the way in the back dining room too..so long story short, i pick up a sixth table no where near my section, because the other server couldn't handle his third...

did i stress..well, i never really stress or am in the weeds at work..i just have to work a little faster or manage my time a little more wisely...as it is changeable during your shift on the floor...

so yeah, just wanted to give y'all a little heads up on what's been going on...that's all i got, i'm busy, lol










"i have more tables than anyone else....any everyone is running around like retards at a fun house"

It's My Business

..to give you the business...
it's not your business...

i think we are going out of business.....

i have a problem with the way i end my posts....it's either way too abrupt, or just continues without a real definitive ending, until i abruptly stop it..i guess i should pay more attention on how authors end their chapters, or look back to how i ended some of the posts i liked the most...either way, i'll come to a conclusion that i am just no good at ending things....

but let's move on....the other day i actually had a moment of inspiration that i am starting to work on...i was in the shower no less - it's funny to me that the shower is my little moment of zen..it's a time of privacy, in an enclosed small space all to yourself, water falling, like a baptismal cleansing not only your body, but your mind.. - wow, random of trackness..ok, where was i.....oh right, shower....so i was in the showering, don't ask me specifically what i was doing i don't remember, and i start thinking about a girl i saw earlier..

it was earlier that monday and i was joining some friends for lunch at a local eatery downtown - god i love local fare. so as we all were enjoying our creole cuisine a young lady and guy sit down at the open table next to us, well, it wasn't right next to us it was two tables over, whatever. the restaurant was small, with weird angles, making it hard to people watch - again something i love - but the couple stood out amongst the other hipsters (she was cute, he fit in), but it was more than that, they weren't eating..in fact they were filling out applications.

it got me thinking, well one should she get hired my body (and anybody within a mile radius of me) would end up hating me, as i would be there every day....and they would be fools not to hire her..but the other is what we are going for....obviously she is in need of money or something to do..and as you have gathered from my desire of tearing up my innards just just to catch a glimpse of her she must have some killer looks....put this together with my re-found passion of photography, therefore lack of a portfolio and you got yourself a killer scheme...

so my plan, in a nutshell would have been to approach said hottie, address her needs for money, and exploit that by paying her to be my model for some shoots....god, when put like that it sounds like an average episode of bangbus or something (she's probably not a slut though, let's hope, i don't have time for sluts..) but it got me thinking....i can't approach this chick out of the blue, tell her she looks cute and expect to exchange information with her...not without some credentials....

and just what might those credentials be...business cards, lol. i know, who would have thought something as simple as a piece of paper could have so much meaning or power, well, not the graduates i know...

so yeah...all this has got me in the process of designing my very own business cards and thinking about working on my website - which the latter is an actual plan from,oh i don't know, 2006? who knows, this may actually amount to something...and if it doesn't, i'll have another stack of business cards i can haphazardly hand out to people....and yes, this all stemmed from thinking about a girl in the shower, lol!










"business cards, it's the perfect way to pick up girls, it's so legit they can't say no!"

Presentation of Self

the masks we don
whether it's put on by ourselves or others..

a presence perceived is a presence achieved....

i'm not even sure how to begin this blog, but it's been a reoccurring topic and something on my mind for the past couple of weeks now - just what is people's deal? ok, now that's way too broad of a statement, but what i want to know is, what's with their skewed perception of yours truly.

i think it all started a couple weeks ago with an online conversation with a former co-worker. i started the conversation, which is something i don't ever do with this person, but i wanted to know what was going on - recently she had asked that i request her twitter friendship so i could follow her once again, i guess in one of her drunk stupors she accidentally deleted me. so i obliged and requested the ability to follow which went unanswered for some time. when i asked her about it she told me she was having second thoughts about me following her and vice versa.

whaaaat? second thoughts about having me follow her and her follow me? did we just break up or something, i don't understand....i ask for some sort of explanation (also knowing that there is no legitimate reason for this foolishness) and i received a long line of bull. as it turns out, in her opinion, she felt that after reading some of my blogs and twitts that she did not know me.

she went on to say that the person she read about was not the person she knew at work - the one who quote, had life in the palm of his hands endquote. she went on to say maybe she was in the wrong, maybe i was always like the person who blogged but she never saw it, never really got to know me..maybe it was her own fault, she created this allusion and character that she needed..she put a cape on me and gave me a false name, Chad. she created me as how she wanted to see me.

i've always been this person who blogs the true horrors and pains of life..but also who celebrates when there are victories...life is a tragedy, all you can do is laugh. you know, maybe i wasn't the man behind the blog when she saw me...i had wet feet for the better part of the first year, fresh out of CP - and now i realize that's exactly what a new environment does to me, it evokes a raw form of emotions....i'm new to a place, a strange in a strange land if you will, and that high gets me more riled up than internet users and a newer version of some social networking site...

i suppose i do come out the gates running strong, ready to take on whatever is thrown at me with such a vigor for life - maybe more like an excited puppy to be in a new place, i think would best describe me. trying to take in as much as possible, trying to claim everything as mine, starting anew, clean slate, another chance to do it all again, but hopefully differently this time. and of course as time goes on, i lose the vigor, things fall into place, but not as i would like..and around that two year mark i get that too settled unsettling feeling that makes me feel like i am wasting away, slowly dying with nothing to show...so i pack up to start somewhere else, new, again..to feel alive once more hoping that this leap, will be the right leap, home.

i'm sure there will be some things to add to on this post, but that's all i got for now...









"No one knows what it's like, To be the bad man,To be the sad man, Behind blue eyes"

Ok Ok Ok Ok

I know, i know..
don't hate

it's working..dirty seconds - said in ugly spanglish accent

alright, here we are again, a lack of updates and another sunday trying to play catch up..which reminds me of a joke...a pappa tomatoe, momma tomatoe, and kid tomatoe.....anyways, i digress

of course as i finally plop myself in front of my computer all bits of stories and whatnot flies away from me like the lint and dust from the cushions. i really do want to get 'back on track' as much as i know that statement to mean. and what i'm about to say will upset a certain person, but dammit you can't please everyone, so i have stopped trying....

i had a visitor for the past two weeks, and although i appreciate having people that want to spend time with me, it's the same story of girlfriends past told time and time again. situation is people enter my world and then my world, as i knew it, ceases to exist. whenever i have had visitors/girlfriends/whatever i sacrifice myself and my rituals, the betterment of myself, for the other person...i know i'm not the only one to have ever done this...how many times have you had some sort of daily ritual, whether it be school, work, working out, yoga, whatever; that, when someone else enters your realm, the former is skipped out on.

now i am going to receive some heat from this, but no offence, i'll blame myself..i try to make time for the newer element by sacrificing every little thing in world....i'll take off of work early, i'll skip the gym, i'll not get the mail..i try to make the most out of the other persons visit, that, by the time it is over i m almost relieved, which shouldn't be the case...

and yes, i hear over and over "you don't have to do all that, you can do what you normally do" but people don't say what they truly feel or think..so i know better..i know they don't want to sit around while i run my errands or do whatever after they just sat around for the past 8 hours while i was at work...

but it isn't limited to visits, as the most recent case may suggest, it's girlfriends in general....girls really do equal money times time (and therefore the root of all evil..)... sure i grew up as an only child, sure that's how i like things, sure that's what i am used to - and sure i may be a republican..it all adds up to me not being a fan of changes in my life that i lack control of.

what am i getting at...simply i am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life....because i have spent too long giving up parts of my life for other people only to not have them in the present..i guess i need to look out for number one...but in that process you'll be called selfish - those are just some of the contradictory quotes i've questioned while growing up - and still if you're real you'll be called jaded, if you hide it, you're called fake..efff it.











"you're a vacation when i didn't need one"

Empty Units

putting an end..
..to the means..

closing the doors in more ways than one in two places....

this past week i did something i've been meaning to do for a long time....it was officially wrote down on my "ToDo List" for after the summer of '06...three years in the making, three long years of pulling the idea off the shelf, blowing the dust off of it, and putting it right back there... this week it all came to a close.

it started last friday when i decided to put my thoughts into action - without fully knowing my schedule i went ahead and made calls to get the balls rolling...i called and got a storage unit right here in indy - literally a block from my current apartment. then an order was placed for a uhaul to be taken one way from the region. the balls were in motion and a lot of stress built up.

monday morning i acted on the calls and great plans and headed to the region with one goal in mind...never look back. for the past three years i have wanted to consolidate the two storage units i have spread out across the state...two storage units, two different time zones, two different eras in my life....all coming together.

i started my mission on the oldest part of my life, the storage unit i have had the longest, also the furthest away. some time in 2004 is when i put my region life into a 5 by 8 by 12 box, sealed from top to bottom, without my ability to go in there and go through things - except the filing cabinet i left at the front door.

i reserved the second smallest truck which i figured would allow me to fill it with either storage unit with ease...looking back i think i could have used the smallest truck, but it would have been jam packed..this one gave me some leeway..

moday.one day.up to the region. load up. drive back to indy. unload. that in itself was a task, thankfully i got the night off from work, not that i don't need to work, i just couldn't do all that in one day and survive.

the next day was on to btown, this time the round trip would solely be in the uhaul. the btown storage was a bit different...a very large unit with a lot of excess room..things scattered about - a place i have been going in an out of like it was my girlfriend. on a sad note, the storage unit also was home to the random things TJ left behind when he was abruptly removed from btown back in the beginning of 2007 - i don't even know what his boxes consist of.

wednesday morning i spent unloading the truck of the stuff from btown and organizing it with the things from the region. i was disappointed to find out that most of the things from the region storage were slightly water damaged...this put a damper on my fiscal plans as i hoped to sell certain items such as dressers and pool tables i had - instead i had to pry open the wooden drawers of my dressers to reveal and sort the findings.

and what was most tragic about that was, the items that were inside the drawers were moist as well...my main gripe was really the only thing i wanted out of that storage unit, the drawer full of pictures....pictures ranging from my childhood and baby pictures, to all the random pictures from my pityparty/high school days...

but now it's all together, in one location...granted i need to go through everything - i still plan on selling/throwing away a lot of things. i will be saving money having everything all in one place, and should i ever move, everything is is one location, one location that is actually supported by PODS.

but deeper than all that is me closing two doors of my life at once..with the removal of having a storage unit in the region, and with a lack of family in the region i no longer have any ties to that area...same goes for btown - although i still have my POBox there for the time being, that's a small price to pay in comparison to the huge storage unit.

by emptying out those containers, i've moved on with my life..this is just the first step of me getting it the fuck together?










"it's easier to leave than to be left behind"

National Doughnut Day!

if america runs on dunkin...
..consider me Usain Bolt

donuts, is there anything they can't do?

so today is national doughnut day..the first friday of june every year....i don't know the story behind it, why that day in particular, i just roll with it. so i made a mission to hit up the three major doughnut shops on the southside; DD, KK, and Long's.

my first stop was my beloved Dunkin Donuts. They had a promotion for the day, if you buy any drink, you get a donut for free..alright, i have time for that..although this is very similar to their standard everyday promotion of buy a coffee and get a donut for free...whatever, DD is my favorite, i think i like the cake versus whatever everyone else uses..

the next stop was onto Krispy Kreme. now unlike DD, KK had no signage or banners or anything informing people that it was NationalDonutDay, so i was skeptical...already having a dislike for KK this was not going to go over well with me...now i'm sure what it is i don't like about KK, but if i had to say i think it was everyone's overhype about a sub-par product..that i didn't grow up on KK, but rather DD reminds me of weekends spent with my grandparents...that DD is part of my life whereas KK is an infiltrator...well, lucky for them they were celebrating the holiday..all you have to do is walk in and get your free donut of any kind...this is similar to their "when the light is on, come and get a free donut" - granted it's just their standard donut, it still is an every day thing...none-the-less i am happy with my blueberry frosted donut and we are on to our third and final stop.

we pull up to long's bakery, the quote staple for donuts in indy endquote. again, no signs or anything making note of the holiday, so we head inside..there's a line so i think this must be a good indication, then again, everyone "loves" long's so it could just be that..we make it to the front of the line and i ask the lady behind the counter if they are doing anything special for the holiday made just for them...the lady is aware of the holiday, but apparently long's doesn't acknowledge it and therefore are not doing anything special in terms of pricing or give-aways. i preceded to make a scene, quoting the quote mentioned earlier in this paragraph, and leave letting them know this was the final straw...i would officially be boycotting Long's - again, another dislike for another donut shop because people claim it to be better than anything else..how dare they..

the only donut shop that could rival DD would be Square Donuts based out of TheHole..sure they are KK like, but the shape is what makes them...they opened one in Btown and for those of you who have yet to try them...seriously do...granted the one in Btown has erratic hours, if you see they are open with the sign on, go in, you will be amused and happy!

but like all good things, my holiday must come to an end...sure it is friday, but i'm scheduled? this will be the first friday i have worked since...valentine's weekend? so i suit up and head on in...but are there donuts at work..no....ughhh, i'm losing faith in people...











"today is what day? -- FUCK YEAH DONUT DAY!"

I Was Told To Write

..and i do what i'm told...
..unless i don't want to do it...

i guess it depends on how you come at me

alright, back at it by popular demand...well, not really back..just another blog post for you....i know i have slacked off in the past week or so, but as i have always said, and will continue to say, "once things start happening in my life, i no longer have the time to tell them" so here is an impromptu post

i guess i do have things to talk about, but i'll post them later, i promise...after receiving some text messages telling me i need to start writing i decided to take the, advice...i guess my time away was enough time for people to catch up on my daily blogs from weeks prior.

it's summer, or something close to it - so the money is going away in the restaurant business..unless you work at some travel destination, save up and live minimally is what they are saying...i am once again going to be hunkering down in indy for the summer, no cedar point or cruise ship or crazy things like that...yet.

it's a shame too, i have a lot of trips planned for the next month...multiple trips to chicago, trips to see people in CP, trip to LA and road trip back, trips out of the country....where are my funds for this...oh right, some wench in TheHole getting beat by her drug abusing boyfriend has all my money...sweet.

in other news i am taking a stab at this photography thing - again by popular demand...i'm taking a couple of classes on tuesday and wednesday for the month of june. i don't know what to expect of this, i am eager to learn, but i think i want more one on one training...i hate groups...i hate being told, "go out there and shoot" - i can do that anywhere, anytime, without paying...

so i have already taken the first two classes...what i have learned so far is that it's all about lying, i mean selling yourself...saying you shoot the best pictures in the world....so i started perusing the books that my instructors had of their portfolios....and i came to a realization, something they actually mentioned...i can do this..anyone can do this...

here's the thing..average people don't have the 'eye' of what's good and what's bad..they are just happy to see themselves in pictures on their wedding day or whatever...as i scanned through the pictures i was critiquing every one of them..good, overexposed, grainy, etc...but it made me start to think...if i were to shoot people's stuff, only i would be the disappointed one with my work..

and what's with my friends not knowing that i am a photographer...there was one time a friend on facebook had a status update, "HELP, i need a cheap photographer asap" - of course many people responded with who to go to, who they know who does photography, and i naturally respond with, "i hate you" who got the job, little ol me...the girl loved her photos and used them in her brochure for her company..and asked me to do another photo shoot for her in july....granted i am happy to help my friends out while gaining a little experience, she - in my opinion - over paid me..apparently she had me charge $75 an hour..and she bought me breakfast..i made out like a bandit...

now, as a friend i wouldn't charge people that..but normal people...up the rates! i don't like to discuss money with friends..it's a favor, i don't like to accept money from friends, even though it is a business, it just makes me uncomfortable..i scratch your back, you scratch mine...i'm sure in the future i'll need your assistance with something...now people who are no longer my friends, see above, then i will take your stupid as to court for the four thousand you owe me...but, that's only because you ended the friendship...

so that's all i got for now, i'm heading into work...work work lame.










"..yeah, but i have to give you something more than $20, i woke you up earlier than normal -- i know, that's why i doubled it"