The Climax...
....over and over

it's a hit:
I'd hate to say how clutch it was for my interaction to happen here, but this is what really sealed the proverbial deal for us, I would have humbly say...

So we're dancing, and Amy's friend Heather, who had been in and out of this dance scene - running round the basement doing whatever, comes back to our area of the floor..and I'll be honest, I was trying to get near her as we danced just as Neil had been trying with Amy...but then in this one very instance, it happened..a simple lock of the eyes and BAM! it was over.

Heather and I danced, but in such a cute/come get me/hot/seducing- yet no way it was incredible..we were acting out the song as if we were in a video or some shit, it was great. at first I was just happy that somebody would actually want to be acting the song out with me, because that's never happened before, not a simultaneous getting into a song orchestration...but then the dancing led to a little bit of a tease and then I realized, oh shit..I can make a huge move here..and I did..I had to claim my territory and mark her as mine..in the only way you can in a dance...

as she had her back grinding into me I just looked at the Kneeler with outstretched arms shaking my head in disbelief....after a couple more booty shaking songs, and more time to close the door on this deal, my lady friend exited for a moment and I went up to Neil saying something needs to be done, we need to make this move now. I also said my Huge line, but I'll save it for the quotes post coming up in a bit...

our decsion was to take the girls out to eat, get them in a comfortable setting where we could talk to them, interact on a more personal level..just a stepping stone away from the house, which is the next move...

SnS was a clutch move, thanks again to Spaulding aka Brownie...lots of huge lines were thrown done and Brownie was the grandmaster of conversation..he even get Neil the in by letting Amy know how to take care of the boy..heather and I shared a shake and it was the cutest little thing possible..

so that lead us back to our place...an literally it was only moments we were in the house before the situation arose for us all to get in the tent together..there we blew their minds once again, what with the ride in my car and now where I sleep at night, my world is a crazy place and a shock to all..until you get to me and then it's the norm...so we talked for a bit, but people started to get tired and for a moment there was 4-way action in the tent, but Neil and Amy went upstairs to continue their chats...leaving Heather and me in the tent of crazyness...

yadda yadda yadda..

Time passes and the alarm I set as we entered the tent went off...there was a lame moment I had and shared my thoughts with Heather...and then there was a nice cuddle session..but whatever...the alarm meant it was time for the girls to go...yeah, it was only 6am but the girls needed to head back to the hotel to pack up and get on the road...

oh, did I forget to mention these girls are on the Blues Clues Live Tour...right, Amy is "Tickity-Tock" and heather is "Blue".....that's right, I made out with Blue...my life is complete....



but wait, there's more...

Best Ever...
...the beginnings

So then it was Friday..and that's where the real 'fun' begins...

so I finally rolled out of bed, a little later than I had wanted to, but everything was alright..I still had time to get things going...

of course one of the first things I do is get online...wait no, that's a lie...it's not mandatory first thing..I get to it when I get to it, I've really taken myself away from any bad online habits I may have had..so it's not the immediate first thing I do, but I get to it...that's a start...anyways...so I'm checking people's away messages to see if anything interesting is going on that I should know about, and it seemed about half of the messages I checked were all pertaining to what type of day Friday was to them...for some this Friday, or day in general, was real crappy..and conversely the others were happy about it being the weekend....so I put up my initial away message letting people know just how confused I was about what today was supposed to be, and said whatever, make your own decision..then went about what I needed to get done...

after all the was completed I made my own conclusion that Friday was going to rock my face off...I knew from the starts it was a good day all in all..I had no idea it was going to be as fucking huge as it turned out to be...but ironically enough, as I left for work I changed my away message to say that Friday was going to be fucking great day...

I got to work, people were asking about the upcoming Saturday night party..I helped them with directions and other questions like, "How much?"..."well it's four bucks a cup to drink all night...but for a girl who sleeps with me it's only two and a quarter.." yeah, I rock....and with my mind still on Saturday nights events, Brittany was very helpful by allowing me to switch shifts with her so I did not have to close and could get home and get an earlier start on things...

so 10 came and I left work with only twelve dollars in my pocket, whatever, fuck it..I wasn't going stay any longer than I already had and I didn't feel like being a bitch, so I left and went home...Jim reminded me of the house party going just down the road where c-slot was playing...so I ate, changed and left for that at 11...

alright, so there was a party, and to be perfectly honest with you..I really do not like parties...I'm more prone to seem 'liking it" at parties I have only....basically if I'm out of my house bubble, fuck the world I'm anti-social...one good reason I told myself as I stood around with folded arms was, "I hate parties, I hate people, why, because they're not talking to me...mainly I don't know anybody so I can't have a security blanket to snuggle with...

Coinslot played, it was enjoyed by the crowd...everyone says it was their best show ever, I wasn't, and never, pay attention..I just notice mess-ups and no harmonica for "Joe Kewl"..so yeah, I couldn't give you an honest answer for this show...I dug the lights? but yeah...let's get to better times...

so there was this hottie red-head chick (note that I said hottie red-head chick...what's that about, I hate red-heads....but she was actually kinda attractive in that type M girl way...whatever) who was totally getting down to the funk, or as I like to call it, the C-Factor...ok I just made that up to waste space...anyways this girl, Amy, was into the Kneeler..they talked, and I had this great shot, but somebody walked right in front of me..grrr..I totally had this perfect image thing going, it was intense..anyways...things were going down then C-slot was asked to play a second set..by this time everyone was pretty much wasted so they were allowed to freestyle and just jam without having any repercussions of people hating them..

personally I like the freestyle jazz-jam sessions, whatever..the highlight though was the fact that Neil broke so many strings so many times they gave him an electric acoustic to play with..and he did that and more, rocking out hard wrapping up the last song on the ground with the crowd swarming around him...what a sight...

and it was the during the second set that I actually started to warm up to the party..Spaulding and I had a fucking great time playing our air instruments...we rocked out just as hard as they did...

so then after that rock out it turned into dance party time...and yeah, here we go....this entire time has just been a build up for Amy wanting the Kneeler, now would be the crucial moment to let all loose...foot loose....

we danced and we're having a good time, but things weren't going anywhere, or so it seemed..things weren't going as they 'should have' or how Neil 'would' have liked, totally unlike most situations in the past...she was timid, or just playing hard to catch, but anytime Neil would get by her to dance she would spin off to all areas in the basement...I watched as this went down and was trying to help the Kneeler out playing scenarios in my head...we were on the same wavelength and we had brief talks while she was away about how "something needed to happen"..and then, out of the blue, it did...

Greatest Day Weekend Week of My Life Just Rocks...
...for real ya'll

yeah..yeah, I really don't know what to say...these past several days have been spectacular...I couldn't love and hate my life all at one time...it's fucking brilliant...

I'll do this in parts, to save the lengthy one read, so bare with me..things just keep getting better...

The Windup:
So we had the WNDP (Wednesday Night Dance Party for those who are slow on the uptake...), it was good..a little more thinned out than the past two, so a little down, but that made for a more intimate affair..cool deal..but then of course we had the Paris Scandal, no fun, but I'm able to drop people off like nothing and move on, so that's what happened...it happened, I learned..just adds another cut to make me even more jaded towards people I open myself up to..

then it was time for Thursday, which is just as big of day as Wednesday....some may say that there's no hope for Thursday because it's inbetween the WNDP and the weekend, making it a Tuesday (for those of you fucks who hate Tuesdays...) but no no...you see I worked the morning shift at the OG, which was sucky because I don't make anything for tips, whatever....but I had lunch with the ingenuine Kim, which still delights me..later we went to Bingo, of course...I brought the new-comer Pete and even though we didn't win anything, we had a hell of a time, especially when we were talking game to each other and those within earshot...

After Bingo was time for Theater Thursday, the movie to be viewed that evening was Requiem for a Dream..I fucking love it...even though that's a movie you can only really watch once a year otherwise you're just going to be fucking with your head a little bit too much...we had the group discussion afterwards and all was well...

I suppose no transitions are funny, well to me, that's how it works in my world...the transitions are so blatant and put out in front of you it's not even normal, which makes it for a really weird, unnormal transition, or lacking one altogether...yeah...

Friday came..and yeah..Friday just opened the doors to everything that we've ever dreamt of...

It's Just Another Day...
..another moment to turn it all around...

So last night...yeah, last night...

Well, the social gathering was a little bit smaller than we have had in the past two weeks...but don't think this is a sudden trend..things happen and people disappear off the face of the earth, we live on...Come to think of it, Chris was a no call/no show..hmmm...anyways

So smaller, but still a ton of fun..the best was the "Thursday rally" as I called it...a 1am liquor run, it was crazy indeed...that gave us the clue that this party was going to last awhile...

at the beginning things were kinda lethargic..people were all sullen and just lounged out everywhere...but we kicked it up a notch and pulled it off...

until the closing time..I wasn't feeling right..so I decided to get a head start on cleaning up..in the process I found a Pizza Express cup with a dark liquid...upon the rustling of me grabbing it and shaking it up a bit I instantly knew the smell that arose and hit my nose..it was fucking Merlot..better yet, it was my fucking Merlot.....pissed I was that "somebody" was drinking my wine, I turned to the bar and noticed the entire bottle was missing...in short this is the second week in a row a bottle of Merlot was stolen off of the top of the bar..and we knew perfectly well who it was...

so I went about myself, cleaning..trying to calm down yet just being built up the entire time...then Neil came into the kitchen..he asked something like how's it going, or we need to kick it up a notch..something along those lines and I just said to him straight faced,"I want this to fucking end now!" he was shocked, he came to me and I explained what had happened...and at the crucial moment where I blame Paris and his group of 'friends' he walks in....and in perfect timing my voice raises with an outstretched hand pointing finger dead at Paris...

everybody left the kitchen and started getting their things...and that's when the confrontation happened...I accused, and rightfully so, Paris and his gang of hoodlums of stealing my wine. I had actual proof from Pete that Paris took cups from the opened bottle of Merlot last week..I was going to confront him about this last night, but then this all happened and was the perfect segway into it....

He tried some bullshit excuse saying that I said he was "ok, he was covered" which was completely untrue..AND even if it were true, that statement would only apply to the liquor I was bringing in from the liquor run....when have I ever said to anyone, "oh no it's cool, whatever liquor at the bar is free game"..NEVER, because it's fucking ridiculous..I have my stockpile back there..if somebody wants some...sure, for a fucking fee...unless you're fucking me, you ain't getting free booze...especially from my stash...

so in the argument I cut my hand with a knife and started bleeding all over the place...I ignored Paris and went about being the excellent host I am and said goodbye to everyone who decided it was time to leave....I made my way outside (you can still follow the blood trails) and said goodbye, thank everyone, made them assured THEY are welcomed back no problem...as I started to walk in, Paris came out..I wanted to get away from Wednesday and just go to sleep...

he made talks about retribution for the glasses of wine the stole, yet said nothing of the sorts to replace the stolen bottles...and was more or less taken aback by my accusations that he was involved with it....I still ignored him, saying whatever and proceeded upstairs to inform the house mates just what MIGHT happen, and then tended to my wound...

when I returned downstairs he and Neil were gone..I finished cleaning and went to sleep an hour later....

To be honest, I'm not one for confrontation..I'll be the first to strike, I'll lay it all out on the table..but once I say what is on my mind or how I think things are..that's that...I have to leave, if I even hear the slightest bit of an argument...there's no telling what I'll do...I know I'll fucking lash out because I'm so enraged..but that's me...and by me being the bigger person and walking away, that's better for you in the end, no really...you may end up dead by my hands dare you try to uphold your false ties...I get so pissed and everything gets to me....I'm sorry

so I choose other methods....there's the beginnings with talks...that will proceed to notes..and then, well, you don't want to know step three.....had I not been so dizzy already last night and for the moment rational, we may have seen step three...

so what is there left...well Paris and his friend's are banned from 412....even if they do pay up the money they owe for the bottles, it won't do them any good really....if the money gets here quickly, then Paris may be allowed back within a few months....but whatever...everyone suffers their losses..this is yet again another case where somebody has taken advantage of me, thank god it's not that fucking bitch.

and I'm out.

Promise Keepers..
..and those who know what to say...

So the following is a comment made to me by a very lovely little girl whom I adore to no end...

"Jason, I promise you, promise, that as soon as my boyfriend and I break up, I
will be down there, in your tent, that very weekend, no kidding around..."

wow....that's all I can really say...and if that doesn't want me to root for the breakup I don't know what does...

but that's not my style, that's not how I roll...I'm not one of those types of people who makes it their objective to break up a relationship..I'm not a homewrecker, I don't want to be any more involved with what's happening than I have to be...I just want the girl, I'll have her once you're done with her, I'll wait quietly on the side and not influence any deacon here whatsoever...I don't need any more people on my list of people who actively hate me for no reason...

but if you take a look at my past record, you will see that that very stance I'm talking about above is just what I do...there have been several instances where there has been some girl I didn't know, just met, who I liked, and she ultimately liked me... and then found out there was a boyfriend in the mix....and by the time I find out about this boyfriend, the friendship has already set sail (HA, it's a pun on friendSHIP) it's too late to turn back and totally ignore this girl, we're midstream, nothing I can do....so I do what I can and take the flirting-self out of myself and just be myself..which is still damn near irressitable since we're talking about myself..I'm so fucking charming no matter what element you take away. And this is always the point in the girl and her boyfriend's relationship where things have started to get rocky for 'the last time'.

but what do I do...I do the opposite of any other person in this situation, which would be go to all costs to make them break up and go in for the rebound kill..basically setting yourself up with the offense you helped put up....what I do is on the other extreme...I make them get back together, basically....I voice my opinion, telling the lady I'm not going to be the cause of this..no matter how much we may want each other, don't change horses mid-race just because you think you're tired of one....and you know what...they always get back together and their relationships are better than before..and they stay like that.

now for me..well, on my side it's good and bad.....it's bad obviously because I lost some really cool girl that had a potential to be datable, to being just reduced to friends, which isn't bad, but it's bad..but the good is that I was able to mend a relationship, making them see that they can work out things, don't be rash, don't be stupid, don't be like other girls I know...and the other benefit, nobody hates me in the end..well maybe slightly the boyfriend, all guys hate any other guys that are friends with, or talk to, their girls...

so the odds of this girl being in my tent anytime soon...I don't wan to say slim because I'd hate to jinx myself since I'm always right, but...we'll see....the odds of me moving in with her are probably greater....but then again, if she were to come down here for a weekend with me, then anything is possible, and I'd have to rethink anything that wasn't rational before....

so yeah, I'll be counting the days and just continue on with my life as if that promise was never uttered, just to keep myself sane...women...til then...

This is What Happens...
...when you twitch at night...

the following is a conversation..well in all reality it was a rant i just unloaded on my friend Dave..this came with no warning, just opened up his im box and went to town...this following a bored look on the internet...

*words have been cleaned up for readability purposes only...

Blue35Tuesday: you know..some people just need to be shot
Blue35Tuesday: i really hate college students
Mexico01: ?
Blue35Tuesday: why am i cursed with this 'trying to live the right way'
bullshit?
Blue35Tuesday: i mean honestly
Blue35Tuesday: i fucking hate parties, and people who get wasted every
weekend are worthless
Blue35Tuesday: THEY need to die
Blue35Tuesday: but sadly they will be the ones running the country in a few
years
Blue35Tuesday: and i will be taking their orders at a restaurant, or far
worse, McDonald's
Blue35Tuesday: why is it so damned important for me NOT to partake in these
stupid ass rituals
Blue35Tuesday: why can't i just live an immoral life like everyone
else
Blue35Tuesday: have a good time
Blue35Tuesday: fuck whomever i want
Blue35Tuesday: and not remember a good damn thing the next morning
Blue35Tuesday: because whatever, i've got to go to class
Blue35Tuesday: or maybe i'll just blow it off
Blue35Tuesday: it doesn't matter, mommy and daddy pay for everything so
fuck it
Blue35Tuesday: i don't have to work
Blue35Tuesday: i can just sit here and party on my parent's monies
Blue35Tuesday: it's bullshit
Blue35Tuesday: time of my life my ass
Blue35Tuesday: sorry..this just came to me
Blue35Tuesday: and your box happened to be the first i opened
Mexico01: heh, understandable
Mexico01: the world is set up stupid
Blue35Tuesday: god, i fucking click on a link in some bitches profile..i
get their fotolog
Blue35Tuesday: and all i see are pictures of them wasted
Blue35Tuesday: click their friends fotologs
Blue35Tuesday: same fucking thing
Blue35Tuesday: time and time again
Blue35Tuesday: how fun is it to take pictures while you are wasted?
Blue35Tuesday: is that what you want to remember..all the times you were
fucking drunk
Blue35Tuesday: honestly, take one pic, keep it, and there you go
Blue35Tuesday: sum up your entire fucking college career with that one
fucking picture
Blue35Tuesday: it would be more suitable and compact
Blue35Tuesday: but WHY can't I be doing this?
Blue35Tuesday: WHY do I have to give fuck about things?
Blue35Tuesday: is it because i know what the real world consists of..i know
what is lingering out there after their college lives...i doubt that is the
reason
-four minutes later-
Blue35Tuesday: i see you stole the subtitle thingy..nice
Mexico01: lol, it's inspired what can I say
Blue35Tuesday: i love you

so there you have it....my thoughts exactly...i felt it would only be truly captured correctly if i posted the 'conversation' and not tried to make it an actual post...

Re-Washed...
left out to dry...

this I found recently..so it's an oldie, but a goodie......well, an oldie where I come from...

Well I had a random thought for the day at work; Life is like a washing machine. Think about it, or I'm just crazy; you get soaked and drenched, agitated, spun 'round in circles, and in the end you may come out clean, but it all depends on what's in your load. Ha, if that's not not sane, I don't know what is. I mean it's negative until the possible uplifting ending. Maybe not what's in your load, but who's in your load. Now I can go two ways wit that one: the first being friends and family who are there for you and help you through your rough times. And the second; coming out clean and pure would have the connotation of having found God or Jesus or something spiritual in your life. Ok, now that I've explained it, I hope that makes me a little more on the level with ya.

but then there's the dryer...do you get the machine or are you left out to dry on the line...I never thought of that til now...I guess the dryer represents the afterlife and your disposition to that...the line is natural, so would that make it the nirvana...but the connotation of being left out to dry isn't a good one...the machine itself is never really a good image...machines taking over and so forth, cold and sterile futures....and the fact that it is a machine of heat..it uses hot air to dry the clothes giving the complete illusion of hell...

whatever, there it is, re-newed and recycled in two minutes....

Not the First...
we all know it's not the last..

Alright, just quickly..I don't get something, help me out here...

I don't mean to bitch about this..don't want to ruffle any more feathers...just want to let lying dogs lay...don't want to re-kindle the fire...you get the idea...

BUT..why does it seem, maybe it's just me here, but to some this is the first time anything 'bad' has happened...what I'm saying is, why are some people acting like it was their first fuck up?

because if this were the first fuck up, then yes, my actions would seem unreasonable, uncalled for, and inappropriate...but that is far from the case...

what I have heard and read the past couple days is compromise, talk things over, let us know what pisses you off so we can correct that...well, I did, and have been...for five months now, and look what is has gotten us...

this is how it progresses...it's not that hard to see....something happens, I talk about it..lord knows I will let anyone if something is pissing me off...but even then..it has to build up to be talk worthy...like there's something that goes on right now that irks me, hell, not only me but other house members as well..we just haven't spoken out about it...yet....well I know spaulding won't, and I've wanted to say something a couple times I saw it, especially the first couple times..but we'll see what happens...If I see it some more, you'll hear it, and sadly, I'll have people to back me up on it..so yeah....

so yeah, the build up, then the talks..then once those get ignored there's more build up, then there's notes, only because I know how much notes piss people off and I know that I have an excellent way of conveying thoughts into written form to get underneath the skin....after the notes there'll be more buildup, then yeah, who knows...

but let it be known, this IS NOT the first straw, conversely, it was the last straw....so don't act like this is all new to you..

I don't know what else to say..I'm still in shock..and yes, reflection of thoughts, whether you mean it or not, you have committed your crimes in your heart...just like adulterers.

Garden State-esque...
..still don't like the movie...

So I went on a little trip the other day...nothing big..needed cereal and do some other things...

I won't lie, I had a good time visiting..but I think that's the key term...visiting...anything else would seem too much? yeah, I missed somethings...mainly the familiarity of the area, what I probably miss the most is the roads, knowing my ways around and having the three options, whereas here I just got the one to drive around in...I miss the starr plaza sign with all the updates of when things are coming to town, plus the weather and time...and I miss having a meijer around...other than that..nothing really...

I found it funny how I didn't get carded in the hometown grocery store..just ramble to the cashier and boom, here's your alcohol...but then it happened again at Meijer..but that was probably due to all the pricing confusions...

but the best was when I walked into the vacuum of the town, an old work place of mine...and literally this is how the greeting went, "HEY, what's up....so who's 16?" commenting on a blog post that I had made only hours the night prior..yeah, funny shit...either I got some die hard fans, people who are as bored as shit on the internet, or full fledged stalkers...either way I'm content, people actually read this shit religiously, and that's all I could ask for..touching the lives of others in some way shape and form....

it seemed as if I were only in town for a little bit (and by town I mean the greater region) but I was there for a good length of time, and I still was not able to get everything I needed done or accomplished..sad indeed...it still feels as if I forgot something...

I was able to hit up the newly facaded RtC (WHY did not somebody tell me of this...) and had a good talk about love and shit of that nature....it was good

but all good things must come to an end, and yeah, it did with the return home...honestly I was happy to be coming home, but of course we all know what happened when I returned...

Goodab...
Badoog...

Alright, first things fucking last..I am, was, pissed....

Let me preface this story with...I was really in a good mood when I came home this morning, seriously I was...I was planning on leaving little notes of love all over before I went to sleep....was

and then I got home...

I arrive home, this after being up for 23 hours now, on 2 hours of sleep, at the conclusion of a dance party...but I continue....so I'm bringing Jim's car back, not driving mine mind you..and I turn the corner onto Ballantine..and in the swinging motion I start to turn into the drive...but I can' do it.....

Why, you ask? why would there be any reason in the world I would not be able to pull Jim's car into the driveway, the residence of vehicles whom don't posses a parking permit, was it a giraffe..a forcefield around the drive...an actual black hole which by driving into would have sucked me into the abyss of no return....close, it was Jessica's car...

Now I know what you're thinking..no big deal, there's another car in the drive..but that's where you lack the information to makes such judgment calls....you see, she's parked, illegally in my mind, in the drive..why I say 'illegally', because she does not have a spare set of keys on the "spare set of keys" keyring....And I know this to be true at that very moment I am pulling along side the drive...I know there was no possible way that anybody would have been that responsible enough to leave a spare set, or the actual set for that matter, on the credenza for me to utilize when I got home...

you see the problem here lies in the fact that Jim's car doesn't have a parking permit sticker on it, neither does mine, which means I can't just park this on the street and leave it there til god knows when..I don't want there to be a ticket, in general or in the case where I would have to pay for it..I'm not dealing with that type of bullshit..but that was just a precursor of what was to come...

so pissed I am, I decided to go inside the house, bring all my shit in and think about what to do in the process of unloading...but you know..I didn't even have that moment to have peace..soon as I walked in the door the foul smell of ignorance and incompetence floored me.

there was so much that was 'wrong' I won't even bother listing...just know that with every step I took, I found more and more shit that wasn't right..each room I entered was just a total disgrace, and all in all...it was a total disgrace towards me

----sidenote----yeah you're right, now that I think of it...it is a total lack of respect towards me, lack of value towards me, lack of caring towards me, it's beyond that they take me for granted ( I mean I know that's a huge part of it, but in this sense, no...) by doing what they do, they are basically saying, this is what we think of you...one big pile of shit. that might as well be shit in a shit box and wrap it up with shitpaper because that is the personification of me in their minds...there's a nice token of gratitude, thanks..

and I was also disappointed when my plans to watch a movie were foiled because Neil was sleeping on the 'wrong' couch...now, where do I get off saying it is the wrong couch, well listen up before you fucking speak again....my main point will be, and it's the only point I need to make, is that fact that the couch in the kitchen is in some way 'neils' couch'...he's the one who christened it, he has called it his couch, he has reign on the couch....but to just to top it off, and add in another thing that pissed me off...the ticking of the clock was too much for him, so he dismanetled it and removed the battery...seeing the chord hanging down, a stopped clock, and batteries resting on top of the mantel really settled well with me...I would only find out later that is was the noise of the ticking which made Neil go forth with those actions.....THEN DON'T SLEEP ON THAT FUCKING COUCH....it's simple, don't fuck with my shit...and if for some reason you do...don't let me see it, don't let me know about it, and don't make it so I can tell that it was fucked with....

Everyone who was home that morning needs to thank Spaulding, for he was the only reason why they weren't 'rudely' awakened by an air horn blaring, followed by a "House Meeting".

I retired down to my quarters with the quote to Amber, "alright, let's just get the fuck out of here so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore..oh wait, everything that's fucked up downstairs is just a reminder to what's becoming the worst morning of the year..."

Yes, thank you Amber for being with me this morning...keeping me more on the level, I mean who knows what I would have been capable of...but your presence brought a simmerness in me...and I'm glad you got a kick out of watching/hearing me go on in my outraged over fatigued state I was in...and even though I would have pased out like nothing since I was so pissed, you being there did make things better..sorry we didn't get to watch the movie....again....

the only thing I did do before I passed out, was make a series of notes for the degenerates to read when they awoke, hoping it would envoke the same amount of rage in them as everything else did for me...if not I wanted to break glass all over the floor and just make an even huger of a mess, only for them to walk on and bleed externally to match the bleeding I had internally...

and it did achieve it's goal..the notes went over 'well', or rather as I hoped, and there was a discussion, a tiff if you will, later that day when I returned home from work....I find it funny, but all the arguments I had and presented to them during this time, were matching ones Jim gave only earlier in the day, yet we hadn't spoke til just after the debacle..funny no....well at least I have three on "my side"

I'm sorry you feel as if you are living in Nazi Germany (god, why didn't we win....things would be so much better....),but I can't help the fact you can't clean up after yourself..that is a problem. having utter disregard for everyone in the house, maybe even universe, is a problem...thinking everything revolves around YOU and YOU are the only thing that matters, or even exists..is a fucking problem....I know you 'escaped' from home to get away from 'notes' and 'rules'..but you won't and can't have it your way til you are all on your own...live by yourself, do what you want...but as of right now the only thing you can do what you want to in and it won't effect anyone else is in your own fucking room....don't clean it, throw your clothes everywhere, make it smell as funky as you like it....just keep confined to that 11x11 cube of "(insert your name here)-reality...well, unless you're me, then you get a 5x7 space where everyone comes through and can what they want to it as well.....

so yeah...there you have it....what would have been a great morning quickly turned into a bottle-popping outlash at the ignorance of people and their disrespectful ways...

insert angry face here.

Sweet 16...
..and it's not even March...

So the Dance Party of Wednesday Night turned 16 yesterday..and what a hit it was!

It was unexpected really..I mean the turn out last week was phenomenal...but what was left for this week? were we supposed to outdo ourselves and throw a more grandiose party..or were we supposed to let it fall to ruins all because of a little "setback"....

well it may not have been as BIG as last week, but it was still huge by any of our standards...the amount of people was just right...the temperatures outside were working for us and really prevented any hordes of people from excapading out to the wilderness were only damage could be done...

we had new people still, which fucking rocks my world, and we had more of the same, which makes me happy as well...Chris, the first person to come last week, returned again with all smiles...that's when we knew it was officially 'made'.

Dancing, hookah smoking, drinking, everyone packed into the kitchen, and we have ourselves a night...nothing more is worthwhile than looking forward to Wednesday Nights..to see just what will happpen...

I like the tradition we have started with the singing of "Happy Birthday" after a short speech is made...in honor of the next and newest Dance Party...

it was the Sweet Sixteen this week...so we had much to celebrate..

time of death: 3:34am ...and people say they are coming next week!!! they asked if we do this all the time...they say we fucking rock....and I was told I am one of the greatest mediators ever...that is my purpose in life, to bringing people together...wow.....

bah dah ba ba bah..I'm lovin' it!

One From the Good Book...
..the Sociology book...

Alright, so this just hit me, and I really don't know why it took me so long to actually see it, but that's the funny part of it...

alright, back in the day when I was in college (oh, god, that's going waaaaay back...) I took a sociology class...and I remember the very first thing we learned was how to look at things with a sociological eye (maybe not necessarily how to, but an understanding as to that was what we were supposed to be doing...). We read about the Nacirema tribe..learned about their 'weird' traits, habits, and lifestyle..only to realize that it was you and I (americaN) we were reading about, just through the eyes of someone who knew no better...

the example they gave was this, and I use it all the time because honestly, it's the greatest analogy every....you got this house, and all the members inside the house are living their lives in their fashion..the things they do and say are completely normal to everyone inside the house, whether it be playing around, what they talk about, goofing off, their habits, dance parties, whatever..it's their normal life, it's what they think is normal....BUT to people looking into the house from the outside, everything is out of place, things are not right, things are not 'normal'.

now there are several different reasons why people looking in have this differing opinion...one being that what happens in this house is not what happens in their own house, therefore making it different and not normal. another approach could be exactly that..what happens in this house isn't normal by any means, and you have a group of psychos living amongst each other...and another point is, it does not appear to be normal to outsiders because they are just that, outsiders..they are not living in the house and have not lived in the house, they have no prior knowledge of happenings in this house, so the events they encounter are only relevant in their minds to that time accordingly.

To sum it up justly, they have no prior knowledge to the backstories surrounding these people, only this group of people do...same thing happens to clicks of people....which brings me to an actual house, the house, this house...

You see, the thing is, we know people won't get it, and most don't..we know that people will be shocked by the things we do and say, and most are...but even those who are appalled by us, still love the house for everything that goes on inside of it. Few people do actually click with us, and that just adds one more element to the fire, which makes for highly explosive fun (god I sound like a writer for the hit new series on NBC....)

but the thing is this..yeah I know there is that element of the 'outsider' when new people are introduced o our world...but remember the second reason I gave for why others think things are abnormal....that's right....I believe that we are all a little bit psychotic here..which when combined with other members of the house, causes an eruption of abnormal activities...

every place you go into is going to be different, no matter what. why, because everybody is different, and you've never been there before, you have become the outsider...the things you normally do, are not the same as what house X is doing...granted, things may not be as crazy, they will still be different.....now, you can sum them up into categories (making you as a human feel better about your existence because that is what man strives to do throughout his life to feel as if he has some sort of significance and understanding...) you will have a group of people/houses/whatever that are bland, boring, and they will have s lot of the same characteristics...not much going on, nothing happens, nothing to do, nothing said....and at the other extreme you will have people/houses/whatever like this here...where there's always something going on, things are happening, or are going to happen, there's parties, drinking, gambling, dancing, non-stop comedy, and so forth...

basically what I am getting at is this, our house is different/abnormal/weird no matter how you slice it or try to justify it...outsiders are only more shocked and horrified by what they experience because not only are the things new to them, but the acts themselves are a bit out of the realm of normality....

just thought I would like the time to tie the two together..the whole 'house' sociological analogy with this actual house..yeah, I feel really good right now...

I wonder if I could write/make something about this house....

Plain Quotes...
..a bit girlie...

Alright, so this is how the story goes...this is a bit of a conversation I had just after a lady friend of mine departed...

X: Sooo, what's with that?
A: ohh, just some plain ol blonde haired partying
college girl....you know, just some average bitch...
X: annnnd you like that?
A: Ehh, not really, but it's something to do...

yeah, f'ing hilarious. it's sad but true, when things get out of your control, you will eventually go with the flow, liking it or not

but it's said that when a man is at his worst, his best work will surely arise...let's hope so...for both of us....

Today's Not a Holiday...
..unless you are Zach...

That's right, I said it..what, you want to fight? ohh, you can't, because certain stores are closed, and others aren't..the most confusing day of the damned month, if not year..some call it a holiday...black people don't have to go work because of their color, so they become lazy..but I just said they were black people, so let's not be redundant....

damn, nothing pisses me off like a day that some want to call a holiday, and others say no...let's just agree and either close the stores and banks, or keep them open...same for schools...IU = no classes..but just a bit north at UofIndy = first day of classes...what the fucking shit??!?!

so we come to the agreement, this is not a holiday...so some person had a dream...what of it, so did Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz...but you don't see me parading myself around with a fucking rainbow..NO, and you know why, other than the obvious fact that the fucking homos ruined a perfectly good sign of God's love for us by tainting it with immoral homosexual activity...

jesus christ...anyways, Zach and Anne, Happy Anniversary guys...yeah, I remembered

Everythings' a Joke...
..so laugh it up while you can

Alright, now, some may find this wrong, disturbing, or just crazy, but I am in that mindset where everything is a fucking joke to me....and to be honest, that's pretty much how I've lived my life, everything has been a joke..maybe not everything has been shits and giggles, though close to it..I'm quite certain everything has been done as some form of a joke..and the results are hilarious as always....

for example...when people were actually asking about my Wednesday night party, I couldn't help but break into hysterics when confronted about it...people would ask what time, where it was at, or just what was it about, and then you would have me trying to give a normal response broken through the giggling...

and the most recent event has been the haircut...so I got my hair trimmed, whatever, it may be styled differently, but people like it, as they always seem to do...either I'm a golden god when it comes to deciding things or people are just all plain and can't see past their own noses when it comes to giving actual good advice...

anyways, the haircut, people will comment on how they like it, and me, yeah, I go into the, "what this, this is ridiculous.." and just start keeling over in laughter at them...mumbling some inaudible comments about how much of a loser they are for liking this joke....

so yeah..I mean it's good to laugh at things right? I mean it's keeping a positive outlook on life..and it's making you live a little bit longer...ughhh

and when it comes right down to it...the more you change, the more you stay the same...this was the same exact theory on how to live your life I had some eight years ago...laugh everything off...you'll feel better about it and still be in good spirits in the end....

I'm turning into the old Jason, but how old school can we get???

god I fucking hate people...
..when really its self-loathing I preach

ughhh, I just woke up..and it feels as if everything is out of place, weird feeling...and I've got this headache like thing where it feels like I'm drunk, but not in the good drunk sense, the overly drunk coming down off of everything type of way...but I didn't drink last night, unless someone forced booze down my throat as I napped...

I just took a poop, that will be every day this week, that's enough to piss me off

on the brightside I won a game of bingo yesterday, but the pot was split with two other people, whatever...

the internet is probably only used for good 10% of the time...I mean think about it...I guess I'm glad that I can actually say I'm in that small portion, what with trying to unite everyone through a common medium...but then I make something like this, an online journal where I rant about my eyes not being blue, and yeah, brings me back down to the scum level of society...

god, and when it comes down to it, this is just bullshit...I'm so..pissed isn't the right word, that implies that I'm uber-angry....and upset with splashes of disappointment, feelings of being let down, and utter distain for the general populous

can I tell you I officially feel like a worthless piece of trash..add in really frickin' stupid as well...and the reason, because I don't go to college...how fucking sad is that...

but what's more sad is the fact that I really won't go anywhere with my life..everyplace on the face of this ridiculous planet requires you to have been schooled with a degree in some bullshit courses..well excuuuuuuuse me!

there's too many thoughts running through my mind...and honestly, I'm about to cry

this is a totally messed up feeling and yet can't explain things worth crap..

I just try...things never amount to anything anyways, when will I ever learn...people are set in their ways and don't want to break pattern, I don't blame them..new things frighten most, look at crystal pepsi...and what really gets me, is that no matter what I've accomplished or succeeded at, I will always know my own faults, and won't feel like I've succeeded at anything, there'll always be somebody better and I'll just be a failure again...

I want to take a walk..

and coming up on some old crap posted in the abandoned xanga
Q: What do you hate?
A: What Is And What Should Never Be

I think I need to go back to sleep, never should have gotten up to begin with....close myself off to "jason-land", the real reality of life..it isn't all glamorous like you think....

Words Can't Do Justice...

Rocking Wednesday night...

Yeah, just know that Wednesday night was a hit....fucking crazy times, crazier memories...I can't believe it...I'm still in awe......

wow...

and at 2:30 we close the doors, goodnight...it's been real

World Domination....
..one step at a time..

So everybody who knows me, that reads my journals anyways, knows that whenever I start posting online tests it's for one of two reasons...I've run out of things worthwhile to actually say and just want to make posts...or I have too much stuff to say, too little time, and just want to make a post for that day....funny how it reaches both ends of the spectrum...and generally it's the former..not this time!

anyways, as I said, there is a lot on my plate..and I fucking love it..talk about burning the candle at both ends (that's for Asli in case you want to keep track....), but this is in all fun and games..

So over the weekend I was a little bored, had nothing better to do so I was perusing the internet, a very likely thing for me to be doing....well there's this thing called Myspace....it's just one of the many (too many) friend-linking internet social things out there..the whole thing pisses me off, but I digress...so in a moment of sleep-deprived, late-night, hunger-induced clarity, I did the most brilliant thing done to date...I made this....

That's right...an inanimate object known as a house has a Myspace account...but this isn't the first time I've made an online webpage devoted to something not 'alive'..remember somewhere over two years ago I had this one....once again I was way ahead of my time (always will be living in the wrong life..)

but this time the online world has had a revolution....this social networking..yeah...just look at our friends...yeah, there's 300 give or take there...and most of them are from Bloomington...and I'll let you know we have had well over 600 actual page views....and I just made this thing...

not even within 12 hours I had over 100 friends, comments, and two girls over at the house....a couple days down the line and I have what may be the hugest party 412 has had to date! oh yeah, if you are reading this, you are invited....and I made an event invite thing, wherein we have already 6 confirmed people coming, 30+30 friends on the not positive, but we'd like to check it out group, and only 16 have replied with an absolute no...

but why are so many people are friends...because it's so random and intriguing, how can you deny a house a friendship..this is an entirely new type of warfare....I rock!

oh yeah, and I invited the OG...

and the funny thing about this is..we do this every Wednesday, or so everyone thinks...I mean we do, but nothing to this extreme....so who knows what will come of this, only good I know....

I mean this will be a great time to meet and greet a new group of people...it'll be fucking awesome I can't even tell you....

and on top of all this...I've got hook ups with DJ's and I am booking shows for people? yeah, call me the next TV Mike...Bloomington watch out..Jason just blitzkrieged you

I wonder if Hitler ever took little naps because global conquering is so damn tiring...

Following in the Footsteps....
...and taking over!

this couldn't be any truer as of late...

I AM 83% EVIL GENIUS! I am pure evil. I lie awake at night devising schemes of world domination, and I will not rest until all living souls bend to my will. Take the EVIL GENIUS test at Fuali.com

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
living, loving....

That's right, I'm going to wish James Patrick Page on his 61st birthday...wow, he's an old bastard..but he can still rock my world

Born: January 9th, 1944 in Heston, Middlesex U.K.

I'M NOT GAY!
..told you

I AM 70% METROSEXUAL! I am styling. I may have a bunch of fashion sense, but my macho man side leaks out here and there (mainly out my nose, I should buy some nose hair trimmers for Christís sake!) Take the METROSEXUAL test at Fuali.com

My Other Resolution...
..this one goes to george...

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Become an online stalker. Get your resolution here

well, online stalker...adding everybody in the world to my Myspace account and xanga...same thing

What a Waste....
..Ewe array

Alright, so today's a new day...

Fuck you Neil, yeah, that's right I said it...that little bastard...I can't wait til I'm on speaking terms with him so I can call him out on his own bullshit...no excuse...whatsoever....

so on a better note, this is actually really badass, but I've got Winamp open, it's playing my music and whatnot, and if anyone who knows me knows I keep it on random play (less I want to hear an artist straight through..I get into those moods..but for the most part it is random...like me...) so random play yes....well it made it through a couple techno songs, then it got to the killers...and it has been on them for several songs already...it's not going in any order, but just playing The killers...and let me tell you..it's killer....

and off of that note, I had a good day overall I'd say...I went to the VFW and played bingo for the first time in my life...it was amazing....I couldn't believe understand the connection between "bingo" and "social low-lives"....I think it is just a cover, getting all the white trash and other homeless joes together in one room at one time...I guess an equivalent concept would be playing poker at an AA meeting...it was really weird....

but I fucking loved it...I swear I have to be the oldest young person in the world...I sat across from this guy who I called my older counterpart. and everybody there was smoking, the room was as foggy as 41 in St John on any given night..of course as soon as I left I reeked of smoke, surprisingly I could smell it after coming out of it...and in a way it made me want RtC everso badly....funny thing with that is...they have this concession stand, and so I ordered coffee because there were free re-fills, I wanted a pop, but you can't pass that up...so as the numbers are being called, and I am dabbing all 10 of my cards blue I hear from my side a very familiar sound...the sound of something being poured...I looked and my cup was refilled....it was amazing...this is the New RtC....

so I'm going to look more into it...I know the VFW has them on Thursdays and Saturdays and the American Legion has them on Tuesdays and Sundays....so yeah, we'll be having some fun and blowing lots of money in no time...

got some calls from people thinking I was in the "area", that was cute..made some calls..that was fun...tried to do pushups to prove a point...yeah, that sucked yet was fun...I need to do laundry before work tomorrow, along with other things...I feel as if I am forgetting something, or need to do something....grrrr I hate that feeling....

so the weekend is here, again...classes start Monday, people go back to their respective places of living...I think having everyone back will be nice...yeah.....

well whatever...I'm off, maybe I'll think of it or just do something random and forget...

..and yeah, I'm not even going to acknowledge that it is neil's birthday..bastard...

Oh Yes it's Wednesday Night....
...and the party's here on the south side....

Alright..so it's Wednesday night you know what that means...

well we thought we had Ghost Hunters and all of those other shows we watch on USA, but no..not this week.. I guess they are waiting for the new season to start..whatever, give us re-runs at least....

and then you got number 14 for dance parties..which at first looked to be doubtful..but what is this...Neil's birthday is the sixth..so that means at midnight he can legally go into bars...yeah, this is major....we spoke earlier and we told of plans with Paris and Laura Cooper...bar hopping...and partying back here...reviving the almost snuffed out dance parties...

and here's the best part, I'm going to go to the bars with him..yeah, this will be something..I never go to bars, I think it's only when people turn 21 is when I actually enter these establishments..that and for the band...or maybe that special someone, HA.

but yeah, I will be happy to see something actual come of this Wednesday night...I mean I didn't do jack today and pushed everything off til tomorrow, and that offset my plans...but then the realization of Neil's birthday, well yeah, I just had to be a part of it obviously..so out with my plans and in with the new...so how apt to change I am...I am really a genuine person..

well, that's about it...two days off in a row makes me happy...now it's party time...update tomorrow...

I'm Turning Into What I Always Thought...
Uncle Jason....

So due to the miraculous invention of the computer and the internet, communicating has become so simple...

lately I've been talking to an old friend of mine, Laura S....we remember back in the days of Lynwood, don't we? anyways, we were really good friends, even after she moved we stayed in touch and she had several "parties" or gatherings, I mean we were kids back then, the definition of party has changed in our lifespan....anyways, we all know about laura's parties...the kiss....the ghosts...yeah, then I went to my first school dance with her in Aurora...in '98? only to by an Aurora in '02? and she live I Lowell now in '04?

yeah, so right after I moved to Bloomington she moved to Lowell....had she actually moved in before, and I knew of this..things could possible be different..but let's not talk of that....

so as I was saying..we've been talking, getting back into the swing of things, updating each other with our lives...she always comments how I could come live with her in Lowell...I suppose if things got grossly out of hand in my life I have that as a fall-out, really wished it had come sooner but anyways....

so she has this kid, Lexie, who is..three or so..who knows...but she sends me pictures and everything...and yeah..I realized that I have now become Uncle Jason....that one title I always thought I would be appropriately cursed with, rightfully so..well my 'dream' has come true....I am officially Uncle Jason to someone...so I guess let the trend continue...

can't believe it...only 21 and already an Uncle...already dubbed uncle....

Realizations of Ga-Ga
towels and flags...

Alright, so we all know that for whatever reason I am ga-ga for Kimmy...we're talking like it's back in elementary (well maybe middle school for some..), just a little kid type of crush, it's retarded and stupid...if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the type of thing where you'll be having a crappy day then all of a sudden that person will walk into the room (or come onto her shift) and instantly your mood changes and you have this big fucking smile on your face, not like a smirk, not a shit eating grin, only when you suppress it, but in normal stance, it's a full fledged smile that is hard to break or hide....

So now that you understand, take this into consideration...I get the feeling that she doesn't feel the same way about me...in fact, I'd put money on it. Come to think of it, she acts nothing like any of the other girls at work...they are more...what's the word I'm looking for...it's a feeling and it's hard to describe..the other girls are more 'wanting to be friends', more 'open', less of a guard, not in defense mode..compassionate and friendly...I'm not saying she's not friendly, but it's a combination of things really...I mean most of the other girls actually like me, like me because they "like" me, but that's another subject..Kim, nothing..I don't get it....

so because my New Year's resolution of sorts was to not be that way, social I'm saying..well and dating, I'm basically going to kill the ga-ga-ness...I'm gonna try, it's going to be hard if I actually try to do it rather than letting it just happen because you I believe you are supposed to let things take their natural course..but whatever...

and the other thing...I came to the conclusion that this "want" for a girlfriend is completely out of the question, for several reasons....alright, so if I were to get a girlfriend, obviously she would have to fit to me and all those damn qualifications..I'm a picky bastard...once I obtain said girl, I'm going to want to keep her....I'm not looking for no floozy, a one night stand, nothing stupid like that..it's not the life I want to lead, so yeah...if I get girl, I keep girl..fair enough....

now the thing with that is, I am in now way shape or form ready to settle down, and there's not a single person that could make me settle down...I live from place to place..I move around too frequently....who even knows if I'll be here next year, not just this house, but Bloomington, or Indiana for that matter..I have wild and crazy dreams, and I live my life accordingly..I'm not saying I'm not ever going to settle down..I'll have some mid-life crisis and want a family...but til that happens things just look doubtful. I know that there is nobody on earth that would be able to put up with the way I live...being so willing to change because of me, for me...I mean I wouldn't move for her less I was ready..I'm not ready to do other people's will...if they want that, that's fine they can go on without me if that is their descion..I'm such a bastard I know, but I'm just going through the point where I'm trying to find my meaning and find myself...if that's through someone else, god that's fucking lame....

so yeah, why is it that in relationships there's always one who carries more weight....we can even broaden the term 'relationships' and just say in general...why is it the one you love doesn't love you back the same way....and I know what you are going to say, if you haven't already...but when two people love each other and get married and raise a family and love and yeah...bla bla bullshit...no matter what you say or how you slice it love is a conditional thing and varies from person to person...I love you, but am not in love with you...how many people have heard that one before....

but yeah...some people just really like the other person...some people are completely crazy for someone...you know the feelings aren't the same...nothing is 'perfect' like that, like I said, somebody is always pulling more, carrying more, doing more of the work..in essence, loving more...

basically what I am getting at is...if I am ga-ga for a certain person, and I get nothing back from it, no potential, then it's not worth my time..I do not want to have to convince somebody to be ga-ga for me..I don't want things to settle before they realize they like me, I want them to see me and be intrigued and want more...they want to hang out, make an effort to do so and yeah, things happen...

now the ironical thing about all that is I just describe what I don't go for? for whatever reason, when girls come up to me and I can tll they want me, it does nothing for me, I usually do not like them back...they plan all there's dates to hook up, exchange numbers, this and that, but yeah...I'll go ahead with these things because "I'm a nice guy and like to hang out with people" (wow, I don't even know what's going on...) but I am, and will never be, attracted to them...in fact it may, and does, piss me off....

so the complexity of me is beyond anything perceivable...I like girls taking initiative, I want a girl to outright like me, go ga-ga for me....but yet if you look at my past track record, it doesn't appear to be so....it's always been some bitch, who doesn't like me, who hates everything I do, incompatible to the T..and yet I like them?

I just want things to work out...is that so unfair?

The Day That Would Not End...
Parts 1 & 2...

oh man, what a tiring a long past two days it has been, let me tell you what's been up...

Part 1: New Year's Eve
so I get to work at 12, and soon realize I am, and will be the only busser on til 5, and even then only one more person (whom I really do not like) would be on and it would just be the two of us, since I was working a double...well we basically got out asses handed to us and did the most of what I could do, for the most part I was keeping up, just a couple tables behind, but I was busting (or is it bussing) my ass off...

the funny part was the fact that time did not move that day...it went by so slowly it was a joke...we were on a wait pretty much all day and there was no letting up...I ironically dubbed it "The Day That Would Not End"...the irony in it being the last day of the year (I'm brilliant..)...but I soon found out the next day was no better....

the day only progressed and the addition of the second busser at 5 gave some relief ( I was finally able to use the bathroom). I worked til 1030 or so, made it home and Danced maybe a half hour or so only to rebuild a sweat that was there early..I felt completely nasty and just had to shower....by the time I was finished with all that it was nearing the 1130 mark..a pizza that I was cooking while I showered (yeah I know, what of it, I'm talented but wouldn't trust a sole to do that...) was ready for consumption, and I finished off a bottle of wine..then Kurits stopped by and we went off for the evening, returning home close to 4

Part 2: New Year's Day
Woke up at 8 having to be at work at 9..and working a double again...I was in way too high of spirits for it being early in the morning, especially after a long night like New Year's..but whatever..that mood quickly changed over to a pissy introverted Jason and once again I worked my ass off being the only busser on til 5..a funny conversation I had with the manager on duty went something like this..."Hey Tom, it says I'm scheduled til 3 and the next busser to come on is at 4.......which is me; so do you want me to work through it" everyone around laughed. he said he'd get me a break in at 5...well 5 came and went and I took no break, my break was having the other busser came on (same situation and people the night prior..funny) Tom found me and asked if I took a break, I told him I'd eat after my shift, when I would finally get to relax and he was alright with that..

but that's true, I don't want to eat and be bogged down because I have food in my stomach when I have to go back out there and work another shift..930 came and I cut myself like the night prior...I ordered my food and it was completely comped by Tom; reasoning, because I busted my ass after having it handed to me two days in a row...yeah I rock. so I lounged around in the back of the place eating my food, others gathered and we had good conversation...I made a killing in tips working that double shift though, very happy. I was glad that it was close to an end...the final step was coming back at 9 today..but working just one shift and getting off at 3...with a busser coming in at 12 and 2...oh man today was a simple day...and when I clocked out I had 47 hours...haven't seen overtime hours in awhile, but it is very nice...

so it is the new year..and yeah, the two longest days of last year and this year are over, now we can move ahead....

"Alive in '05!"
irony is what we are shooting for...

alright, like last year I have an official motto, but unlike last year I'm actually going to remember what it is and what it is about..

so my official motto for 2005 is "Alive in 'o5"....

followed by my New Year's Resolutions....

Become more of an ass, calling people out/telling it like it is for what it's worth (relates back to the first one), and becoming more reclusive

When I told other people these I got a couple different responses..like, "is that healthy" to where I responded with, I've been doing it all my life, I'm just making it more aware for everyone else...

and the best was in correlation with the first resolution (being more of an ass..) I got the response..."is that possible" to where I replied...I am Jason Angus, hell hath no furry like an angry Angus..basically I'm canceling out any good...

so there you go, the motto is pure irony to the resolutions and they way I'll be living my life in this year....

just being more of an ass.....whatever is on my mind you're going to hear, if it pisses me off, I'm gonna let you know...

kinda plays into number two; I'm gonna let you know how I feel..like when I get cut early in a night..I'm just going to parade around for a bit yelling out that I'm leaving, give me your money...I have nothing to hide and "I'm not gonna lie"

and the third...I've moved things yet again, making things closer to me, and the basement like basements I've had in the past...I'll be at work a lot, and the times spent at home will be downstairs with whatever it is I do..and I'm not going to date...it's just fricking ridiculous...

so there you have it....you can cram it with walnuts '05!

*I mean honestly, what the fuck kind of yeared number is '05..anything special supposed to happen...there's no election, no olympics, no leap year, I didn't graduate..oh shit I should have...fuck!