Biggest Shopping day of the Year....Means I'm Working

Not much really to say, ALCO was pretty busy today, thoguh the $49.00 VCR was kinda a bust. As you can see I'm tinkering with my blog a little bit, putting up Zach's prank call thing and whatnot. I work tonight at Target and they say the pulls will take forever due to the madness at thanksgiving. Zak and I talked about Target and whatnot, it was all good. I guess it's the same shit there as well, damn flow team, blow team, no talent ass clowns, sorry. I have thisweird urge to go shopping, maybe at the mall, i just want to yell at people and push people in the crowds, and maybe get some good deals on items on sale. I think my writting style is really sucking, i thought i could write a little better than this, lordy this is crap.
I would work 100 Hours
I realized that I want to work well over 80 hours around X-mas time, only because it will be very much possible. Target is already having people go over 40 hours a week, and depending if it is a holiday week at ALCO i can get over 40 there. i think the ultimate would be to get triple digits with hours. Probably get 45 from Target and 55 from ALCO. It will be easier now that ALCO's hours are til 10 for X-mas, but yes, i want 100 hours in one week, which would be harder to do on the week of X-mas, because neither place is open, but i think that would just be a day of rest, i know i can do this, it is my new goal, how sad is that?

Thanksgiving at the Baiel's

Well the day started off a little late for myself, Target didn't let out til 630 or so, but we had everything done. On the way home I saw a huge line circling from the front doors of K-Mart out into thrie parking lot, almost made me want to go and join them, but I didn't. Not much happened from that point til 3 when zach called me and asked what i was doing, he demanded my presence over to his house for thanksgiving at 4, so i went. I enjoyed the dinner, in fact it was a great time. They had a lot of food, food i liked which is a rare thing because my family used to make a bunch of crap food and i would only eat half of it. I even tried some of the game hen, which tastes like greasy chicken, but very good. I think Zach's dad liked the wine a lot as well, ha ha. After dinner we took a look at the new craft room, aka zach's old room HA! Then Barcus and Duncan came over and we went to the truck stop where we met up with George and Salai, later to come was Jimmy C, then Twan, and then Anne. We also saw Joe and Melissa, opps, Steph sitting in Non-Smoking and we each took our turns harrassing them. Around 830 we headed up towards Merrillville to go to K-Mart, but that was a bust seeing how we had only 4.2 minutes to run around the store trying to find the deals, George ended up buying some Out-of-the-package-75cent underwear, hahahaa. Then off to Meijer round the corner. In the 45 minutes we were there i spent $90, ouch, well it was the $35 Blue Spiral X-Mas tree which knocked it up so high. I bought a couple cases of the 24 case pepsi on sale for $3.68, amazingly great deal!!!! So now i have a stockpile of Pepsi and Coke products, to quote Barcus, "that's more pop than Costas has" After that we headed back to the truckstop where we got together with Jill and Jorge, and Heather came shortly after. Seeings it was after 11:00, running on very little sleep, and had to be at work at 6am the next day i went home, the others headed off to Denny's in Merrillville, i know back and forth, back and forth, but hey, it's us. and so ended one day...

No Snow, Angry Face

Well, yesterday it snowed, i hate the snow. And to make matters worse, as the snow fell, it hit the streets, warmed, then froze, causing the streets to be slippery as hell, The roads were terrible around 10:00, but apparently that was only in lowell, as some of the workers came in saying it was fine by then until they got into lowell. Way to go lowell, kill your inhabitants. My car was sliding all around, and i didn't feel too safe in it, even with the traction active thing on. I think Jenny could have handled it better, i always did love that car. Lucille just handles way to differently and i don't know why. Speaking of Lucille, her 50,000 mile warrenty is coming up soon, cople more trips to work and she'll be spent. Maybe I should get a new car......As for Turkey day, well Target has this plan for us to be out of the store very early, maybe around 3, so that blows the RtC early morning thing. So instead I'll just go home, go to sleep and that'll be it. Noone is supposed to be out and aout on Thanksgiving, leaving there respected houses and such, so i don't think anyone will be coming over here to bother me. I really don't want to go over to my grandparents, i mean old people, who are family, grrr. And i know if i go, they'll try and have m say grace, this will be the fifth year now they have tried. it just pisses me off. I refuse, then when i say i'll do it, i just make a mockery of it, never saying thanks for anything good, just thanks for all the bad stuff, never saying god this or that, and not amen, but the end. Well we'll just see what happens, til then..

Still Nothing

"When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose" so that's basically where i am. All the college fucks are returning, causing havoc in lowell agian, yet, they haven't come looking for me yet....i don't know whether that's a good thing or bad thing. They come back to town and think us working folk can just drop everything and run amok with them. I don't know, a lot of things still upset me, but what am i to do, I beat the shit ot of george and likea dog he never learns his lesson and always comes back for more. I'm getting te feel i wish i were dead. So i have had people ask me what I'm doing for thanksgiving this year, like is some big holiday or some shit, and i tell them and then they shut the fuck up. The people i know more than others wherein i could squeeeze myself into dinner are all going out of town this year, but i don't really care, i wouldn't want to squeeze in anywhere i didn't belong, at least i can see things like that. Then there's people i really don't know offering me to go with them, ehh, for one i hate my family, two; i'll be dammed if i am going to spend my off time with someone else's family. god damn, and to think, this is just going to happen agian in a month from now, grrr, the agony. I really hate this season, I really do...

This Ever Happen to You?

Do you know what has received my attention lately, weird occurances, please, let me explain. It's the situation wherein let's say you and a colleague are chatting away, and one of you recollects a certain someone randomly, then the other person asks, "yeah, whatever happened to him?", only for him to appear/call/whatever in a short amount of time. Like today I was driving home from Target, and as I get close to rt 2 on 41, I think, "hmmm, wouldn't it be weird to see Kristen drive by one day, I mean she goes to work in the morning, i return from work in the morning, it could happen." Well as I get into the turning lane, rt 2's traffic crosses and coming northbound on 41 is a blue pontiac sunfire, well low and behold it's Kristen. We waived and i drove past her seeings I had the light first, and went about my day only to blog about this. Which reminds me of a Gilligan's Island episode..i used to watch the re-runs as much as possible, and i got to thinknig one day, how come their were no children on boaard, sure enough but 30 minutes after that thought i am watching and the crew find an islander boy, whom only later is sent by the crew in an airballon to rescue them, which of course never happens. but the fact that i was thinking about it, then it happened just freaks me out. It's like we're in the Matrix or some shit, well that's all.

Take Two

Well my mother had a bit of car trouble Friday night, not 2 hours into the trip and the trans goes out. So i guess they tried to call me, but I was at work of course, so bill came up and hauled the car (Jenny mind you) in on Sat. Yes, if we all remember correctly that trans was just put in but a year ago, irony at it's best, and thanks giving last year was Friday's date this year, haha. Apparently dispite the first failed attempt, they are heading back down on Sunday, so once agian Thanksgiving is cancelled for me this year. I will probably be heading to RtC right after working Target, so around 7ish, plus RtC is only open til 2 that day, shucks. If anyone cares to join me, it may be a nice little thing, if not, oh well, I'll just get my usual.

No Thanksgiving?

Well my mommy just told me that she's taking her vacation this next week, leaving Friday night(tonight) and won't be back til sunday next week. sounds good so far, but then i realized next week is thanksgiving, WTS? So i am supposed to have thanksgiving with me and my dog, how fun. I'll be dammed if i am going to make a turkey. so what to do for dinner, well that can be solved with two words, hot pockets, hell yes hot pockets, i may even buy the expensive ones. well come to think of it, it will be another holiday, so anothewr nightly trip to RtC, just to be there on every holiday this year. well, later, i got nothing

Follow Up...

Well after some discussion, it has been said that tangible items as well can never be replaced. think about it, you loose your arm, you get some plastic piece of shit, you lose your keys, they're gone, lose your information on your C drive, it's gone basically life is all about loosing everything, and life therefore is the process by which man tries to hold onto what he has the longest, before the inevitable losing. i mean think about it, we all have life...until we lose that as well, then it's all over.....

Don't Lose Me on This....

If you lose something that is intangible, can you ever get it back? my answer would be no, i don't think it's possible, maybe i'm just crazy, but let me continue before you commit me. Let's say you lose your sight, you can't regain that to what is was, through medical advances, it will never be the same, and you'll only be able to define shapes and all this other wierd shit. You can loose your memory, a lot of people when they get drunk, but you can't regain it fully back, as you grow older that's something you know you will lose. What about your artistic ability, you will always be able to draw as well as you do now, or write a book, or tell a joke, if you loose that, you can't regain it, they are as good as gone. Virginity, once you give that away, you can never have it back, "born agian virgins", that's as bad as "born agian christians", which brings up another point, if you lose faith in god, can you regain it? it's also intangible, so shouldn't the answer be no? most people who "find" "god" "agian" say they feel "it's" presence more than ever. so if they lost something intanible, then found it agian, that means they never lost it in the first place because you can't get something back that is intangible. grr, i've been up way too long to make this a solid arguement so what we have here is just the shards of what could be a great theory, who knows, give me some break time, and i'll whip something into shape, then again the thought may slip my mind, and a thought is also intangible.....

ZACH!!!!

So the question that is skipping through my mind is "why is it that every morning that I go to look at my blog is it NOT THERE!!!???" I mean it's the only time i get to go online, due to work, "family", and other crapass things, it saddends me. I don't ge to look at my pretty blog, read any of ZACH's comments, because he's the only one who make them (insert sad face here), i don't even get to see my weather bitch and see what slutty clothes she has on for the day...grrrrr. i suppose he could yell at me for not blogging in awhile, i do appologize for it, but i haven't had the time, sorry. plus i have these great ideas, but they fly out from my mind like a leaf escaping the pile next to the road as i swiftly drive by. Hmm, i have had a LOT on my mind the past couple weeks as well, some sad, lot confusing, others just there. I'm even behind on writting in my "Bitch Book/Random Book of Thoughts/Book of Random Thoughts/Blue Day Book" whatever, so many thoguhts, so little time. sorry...

Is this possible??

So It's early in the morning on Monday, and I have come to realize after leaving Target a few hours ago, that I have already racked up 16+ hours for this week, AND IT'S ONLY MONDAY. Ok, keep in mind that i also work another 6 hours at ALCO on Sunday for Customer Appreciation Night. Well, that's basically my life, work and a lot of it. I still have 3 more nights to work at Target and I know i will get overtime, so now the question is, do i tell someone about it and get sent home early on Friday night, or do i let it slide, saying i didn't catch it and get overtime....hmm, i'll go for the overtime, i'll take the bitching. (you see, Target is a stickler on overtime, so i will defiantly get bitch at for not watching my hours, though they are the ones making the schedule) So yeah, that's it for this entry, later.

Something to think about

Well, I got a job offering, a little late i know, plus it's not really worth my consideration, or is it? Back in the day, when i had only one job, I was applying everywhere, one of the places was for Fed-Ex, I did it online and they have been sending me emails once a month about no job openings yet, until yesterday...They offered me a job as a courrier, not a dog that's a terrier, anyways, starting pay is 13.99 an hour, any where from 20 to 30 hours a week, 5 days a week or so. sounds good so for, but they job location is in Buffalo NY. what the shit i say. One, I don't like the cold, two, well, i wouldn't mind moving, it is a nice distance away, but still. Well I'll let ya guys know what's going on, as soon as I find out, hell, most of you will probably know before i do so fill me in on it will ya? Til then

Yeah, well...

Well time to play catch up, or ketchup, or cats up, or sex, whatever. Well over the weekEND a lot happened, but what i will say is only part....I visited Zach and stayed the night, sleeping on the floor, i enjoyed, not knocking him or anything, it was nice to sleep on the floor, he tried giving me more blankets to put underneath me, but i wanted to sleep on the hard floor, it's been awhile. I got to eat at Utopia finally, and got to see Purdue for the first time, i had a good time, Zach took pictures, I took some pictures as well, though my flash on my new camera is dead, grrrr. So i want to buy a camera, a nice camera, but if i am going to spend $600 on a still camera, i might as well get a camcorder for that price yo. Hmm, any input? As i said in my blog before i didn't go into ALCO on sunday, well i did, but I saw George then quickly left without anyone noticing, ha. I saw the school's play only because people were pounding it out of me, it was alright, short, but still worth it. My mom raised me on liking plays, even musicals, did she want me to be gay or just trying to cultivate me? Basically i did a lot of driving in those days, and a lot of driving around town on sunday without cause Then it was Monday...
I took that long trip down to Muncie to see Brooke at the Academy. Talk about a trip, lordy I almost died trying to get on 69North from 465, i mean it was all my fault, well, partly the sign places for not telling me about the exit til 1/2 mile from it and having me switch in 4 different lanes the whole time, but i made it there, in 2 and a half hours mind you, and it was really easy to get to her dorm/quad/place of staying. I would say it was probably the easiest college campus i have drove around in, then agian it's safe to say that BSU is a small college, not small, but small mediocre size, not a Purdue or UofM. Well she showed me around down there and i like Bennie, some statue thingy, i got more gloomy day pics. Brooke and I worked everyting out, well i hope, and we are good now, i hope it stays like that. Muncie is a hole, it has an Aldi's and Big Lots, damn ghetto hole. Well on the way back i realized i was alredy in Lafeyette and it had only been one hour, good god i made it home from BSU in 2 hours, and i like to go slowly at night due to the darkness, ha!

Time Will Fly

Well I found out I have til next year or so before we are out of this house. Yeah, basically we are here til after X-Mas. At least now I have a time frame. Hmm, what to do what to do. Well, maybe I could do like Zach, leave this town of Hell, I mean Lowell, head out somewhere, Lafayette, Muncie,... get a job and apartment there, but who knows, all this is crazy to me. Well, if anyone wants to influence me, go right ahead, I'll take all the input possible, find me jobs, apartments for any part in the world, i'll take it. til then

Am I getting the 6th Man Award?

So I noticed on the ALCO schedule my name has moved, but not in a good way. For the managers we have a little setup that goes from longest/most important from top to bottom. George only gets put on the top because unfortunaly he has the title of store manager. Next is Donna, true second in command, next is Sharon, onlt because of longevity, next should rightly come me, has before, but as of lately he has put Judy in front of me, which would make me 5th. Now we all love Judy, at times, but she can't perform half as nearly operations as myself, granted she has "been there" since the store opened (one day a month worker). I didn't complain until now. Tony K. is now ahead of me, sure he has been there for 3 years, but only a group manager for 3 months, agian can't perform as much as me, and can't even dress nicely for a manger's position, and George hates his laugh. So that makes me last and least, worthless number 6. Well from now on we'll just see what number 6 will do. That's right, nothing, piss me off, i'll do nothing, i'm not good enough. No office work for me to do. I'll stand around twiddling my thumbs, why not, i'm the loser leftover. Well i suppose it's alright, it'll be the last time HE puts my name on the schedule.....

A Clockwork Blue

If we could turn back the clock for just a second to this time last week, approximatly, where in i made the comment how i was planning to do something crazy/outrageous/whatever in a week. It was fueled, if not ignited last Saturday and finalized as a complete action(s) to be on Sunday. The intensity of such crazed event was magnified when i came to realize that as of Friday at 4 i was not due back to work till 11 on Sunday. Throughout this week i have been changing my thoughts and intuitions as to what i could possible do, but the main basis for the notion was still the same, outlandishenss.One hint I will gove to you the reader is that I won't be in on that fatefilled Sunday to ALCO at 11, i'll be too wrapped up in my weekEND. Should you be worried, yes; should you be fearful, depends who you are; should you be prepared, no I like it better that way. And a word of advice, don't come looking for me, you won't find me; don't try calling me, i won't answer; if you do happen to see me this weekend, don't consider yourselves lucky. I know i'll be enjoying my weekEND, won't you???

Soooo.....

Well , I had some stuff to say, but it is way too early for me, haven't had any sleep, and am a little disorrientated. now this is upseting me, why can't i remember, and don't say it wasn't important. Hmmm, oh, one thoguht on my mind would be if i were to commit suicide i would be the first ot die from the 2001 class, how sweet would that be? Zach always talks about who will be first, might be a title worth holding....George said something to me as i left his apartment yesterday, " alright, well be good....i heard you are" that was a little disturbing to me, i guess it's better than him saying, "i know you are", but still the fact remains, how would he get such information? I'd surely like to know who i was good with and when, i mean it's not like i have had but one person in my life for the past 2 years, ,and nothing before that...bastard, probably just fucking with me. I hate him, though he will love this statement, i also hope he loves the bloody nose i gave him. why must i be such a violent person....oh, maybe because harm is the only way to correct continious shittyness. now i'm not saying vilonece should be the first reaction, althoguh we seem to all think it is at times, or at least feels right. start slowly, then bust a kneecap or two. Yeah, i should have been in the mafia, always wanted to be. Had i stayed living in Lynwood i would have gone to work at The White Rose Inn, a local high class resturant operated by a gang. ....I just realized that i work from 8 to 4 Friday at ALCO and don't work agian til Sunday @ 11 at ALCO, i have Friday night and Saturday off, wow, amazing. I should go somewhere, but where wants me is the question. I did have a trip south planned out, but that kinda fanned out. Maybe further south? why would i go anywhere for just a day, i just have to come back to my hell on Earth called life. And what';s with this sudden boom of Blog-age, all these people now have blogs: Brooke, Vince, Lucille, Kendall, and the list continues, oh well, such is a thing, good luck to all those, and keep up on the up keep. I'm done talking in circles, out.

November 5th 1955

Of course all the majot BTTF buffs hold this date in their hearts. If you have no idea as to what i am talking about, you need to be drug out into the street and shot gang-lnace style. sorry. here's a little fun fact:
November 5 was the same date of time travel in Time After Time (1979), which is the story of H.G. Wells following Jack the Ripper from the late 19th Century to San Francisco of 1979. It stars Part III's Mary Steenburgen as a woman Wells meets in 1979 November 5 is also BTTF co-creator Bob Gale's father's birthday. In fact, Bob's father inspired the original movie, in a way. While looking at his father's high school yearbook, Bob wondered - if he went back in time and he and his father were the same age, would they be friends?
Well I can't wait for December 17th to arrive, I will have a BTTF overload and have no idea what to watch first, commentary, deleted scenes, ..., whoa.

What's the Difference Between a House and a Home?

Well, looks like I am the new "Zach Baiel", yes, I am being kicked out of my own home. But it's not just me, it's my mom as well. You heard correct, the whole family is being thrown out on the streets, thanks to crooked lawyers and evil people. So now I must go apartment hunting, if i wish. what to do what to do, oh what to do. I don't know what else i got left here. Does anybody want to live with me, i'm never home, basically it will be a place to rest my head for a couple hours a day. Oh yeah,. and my mom will be going to Misourri more than likely, so i am here all alone. Where do i go from here? Do i make a trip to California like Zach would have wanted? Or maybe go East. Hmmm, do i change my whole identity, fake my death, or actually do die? So many decisions, so little time. Oh well, such is life, so you on the other side

Just Some Thoughts...

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
~Bobby D~

Taste of Wilco, more than food to sample....

So after work last night/this morning we decided to go to RtC, hell yes Donna. she got to pick the place and she loces RtC, almost as much as i do, so we ate there, but we had that really bad old lady waitress, pissed me off. Not much really happened there, mike was actually able to decypher a page out of my journal book thingy and added some comments and insight, i was amazed. let's just say he knows rfish girl. So i went home, tidied up around my room, though you can't really tel and headed out towards the plazza. I realized it was Wilco's sample day and decided I had to go and eat for free! Well i arrived shortly after 10 and that was when it was supposed to begin, but they were still setting up, and while the coke guy harassed me i met up with Jamander. You know i actually enjoyed his company, never spent more than 5 minutes with the kid, but by the end of our stay he was boasting how we were seperated at birth, though years apart. well we walked around, he seemed to know a lot of people there, or maybe that's just him. we met up with some girl who dated duncan, and after careful thought, it's all being pieced together, but we don't know each other. she thought it was odd that i knew him for 3 years and we never met, i don't know people, not even when i meet them face to face once, i don't meddle in others afairs. what i thoghut was funny is when she asked my name i said jason angus she had no clue, then i said, well maybe just angus will ring a bell, then she knew. damn i hate people, and the fact that i am known by my last name. well jamander and i left, that was at noon, only for nate and i to return at 430 or so. Nate liked the fact that everyone there knew me, he said i should run for office, i was well humored. There was a girl giving away pepsi blue, i loved her for it even though the vanilla coke cures cancer...anyways i called her amandal after reading her name on her jacket. most of the vender/sampler people were from the dance team/pom squad and like 12, well older but you get the idea. Wehn we told Mike F about the little shin dig social event gonig on next door he literally knocked me down and ran outside, but we were a little late, the shut down promptly at 5 and it was already going on 517. instead i got him a free taco from taco bell when he went on his break. Around 7 teresa came in to tell me that we shouldn't see (see as in be around see, not date see) each other and how i shouldn't be with someone like her. freaked me out, who ever said anything about dating/seeing/whatever with her, we talked about duncan and that was it, strange people...but she gave me all her contact information as well, sounds like a movie or for nate's sake, a sitcom where in at that point the crowd would yell, "watch out Angus!" Later we built a huge stack of X-Mas lights in Jenga formation. I took pictures, commented that no human being could stack boxes of lights like that, mike shook a stick at the 24,000+ lights, then we had the Jenga competion between nate and mike. i got some great pics and a crowd did form. not much else really happened for the night, jimmy never showed up at the store, that pissed george off and we all parted to our respected places of rest. And so i say good night to all of you.....

"No, stuff sucks"

Yeah, so I am in this mood, it seems that i can almost write some songs right about now, maybe it's time for another story.
Well, I'm getting ready to leave ALC for my nap/break/rest and George just turns on me. He statrs flipping out and yelling, "God damn i fucking hate you, i fucking hate Jason Angus" Beats me why, i didn't say anything, i was just getting ready and asled why my coat kept getting moved. Then he says, "I hope i don't retunr from ohio this weekend, i hope i die, so that my last workds to you would be, i fucking hate you jason angus" i hope he doesn't think this will get to me, because it won't, if anything that kinda brings a smile to my face. the fact that he got pissed at me for no reason whatsoever and said he hated me. HA! Hell, i'd want to be the last image in his mind as he gets into an accident or whatever it is he will do to die this weekend. Though i am not the cause of his death, that would be the ultimate: me causing anyone's death, it's still something to think about, and i soo would go to the funeral. I don't think he would be able to get into heaven with such a grudge in him, hmmmmm.
So get this, Jenny, the friend of George's that reminds him of me, will make in one day, a 6 hour shift, as much as i make in one week working 70 hours. That sickens me, think about it for a second.......in 1/12 of my week's work schedule she's equivalent to me. God, if that doesn't make me want to end my life i don't know what would.....You can't always get what you want, but people will die trying for it. I am literally killing myself with this terrible scheduling i am putting myself through, and for what? money? damn this capitalistic soceity. Working 70+ hours a week was a lot easier when i worked at Costas and ALCO, my schedule was from 8 to 10, all day, and the stores were moments apart, but now i got this night shift shit and it's just no good. I should have stayed at Costas at this rate, if it weren't a hole of a store, going out of business and just plain shitty. I'm a good, hard worker, willing to work 60 hours a week to receive a nice fat paycheck, but i'll never have anything like that. Everybody else will succeed and i will stay in my cesspool of working in minimun wage jobs. God i suck. I have failed and that is all i can continue to do. I don't even know anymore what i want, I give myself this illusion that i actually like working these crazy hours and putting in 70 hours a week, at least i have tricked myself in some what of a good way, it's something i need to do. What, what could i possible do. oh, i just realized this isn't my personal journal, sorry, you don't care. ok, the only two things i could possible ask for this X-mas would be my death or winning the lottery, solves my problems either way. but these a such quick fixes, we're supposed to work for what we get, which kinda ties into "you can't get what you want, you get what you deserve thing". Haven't i worked hard enough, don't i deserve something? And people wonder why i hate religon. blow me. one day i tell you, i will go insane, won't that be fun? hmmmmm anything else? Bob Dylan's Po Boy? sure....