April Fool's

You just flashed the camera...yeah, who wouldn't for jason..it's not his camera...oh, well, that's what you get when you put Jason in charge...

Well this Thursday packed a lot on my plate..but who would have thought it would have ended like it did....

So let's begin with going to work..I was up earlier than normal, and made it there on time..I even managed to grab a couple outfits to change into since my day was so action packed...well I got to work, and though I brought a change of clothes, I forgot my apron...I walked in and told the managers and their response was to get everything set up and then go back home and get it...are you kidding me, they didn't have an extra?? they've got white aprons, ties, things for servers..but nothing ever relating to bussers...I remember having this problem whenever a new busser was hired...such lame asses...

whatever, I worked, and actually made good money in tip outs for a morning..got off at 4 and was crushed to find out the Wine Dinner I was going to attend, and was pysched about, was cancelled...so I had time to do something..so I went home and around 530 decided to WALK to Eigenmann for a research thingy..on the way I ran into Chris, he gave me a cookie and foiled my ploy to look like an average college student by saying, "what are you doing out..you don't have any classes...", then Neiler met up with me..we walked to the place..but it looked like it was gong to take awhile so Neil waited outside..I later called him to head to the house, it WAS gong to be awhile....

So I waited, finally getting out of there at 7:30, pissing my shit off...I walked back, Neil was anxiously waiting for my return...so we took off, me wanting to walk, but Neil really wanted food so I accommodated since he did wait for me and I drove. got to Brave New Deli, had the place to ourselves..as we walked in the counter girl was rejoiced to see we finally made it, she was going to mark it on her calendar had we not showed..but hey, they're open til 10....

oh, right before we were heading out, I met up with a Lowellian..who was friends with the counter girl...freaking weird...anyways..made it back to the house...never got a call back from Mindy so I didn't know if she got the message relayed to her, so I went to the OG to pick up my cake and there met up with some party/get together plans..

went over to Mindy's, which is where the party was supposed to be going on, and to pick up my cake, yeah, weird confusion..whatever...so backstory- as I was getting ready to head out from the house to Mindy's I got uber-depressed..and it only got worse through the night...and by night I mean within the first hour or so...we were watching Family Guy to kill time before more people arrived...I was such a depressed fuck it was sick...so then I asked, "why am I not drunk yet?" proceeded to pull a bottle of wine out of my bag and start drinking...and just to let you know, I killed that bottle in about two episodes of FG on DVD, so anywhere from 25 to 50 minutes...and as I polished off the last bit of the bottle, people had arrived..

so we were talking, we moved the party downstairs, music and all..by then the alcohol was kicking in full swing...I didn't have my phone on me, yet, so I grabbed Char's..and called this douche on this business card I found..then that was taken away from me so I grabbed Mindy's phone and called Alaina..by the end of that conversation Mindy had brought down my phone..and I started going to town

I made it through several names and Alaina actually showed up..I don't remember her telling her to come over, but whatever randomness is always good...but as for calling, I sat and called over 30 names from my phone alone in an hour..some people I got belligerent with, others were just nice long messages.whatever, it was great....

4:30 rolled around and someone decided it was time for bed...I think after I crawled up the stairs the girls took off my clothes? whatever the case may be, I crawled up in the bed, curled in a ball and was shivering...then Alaina and Mindy got in and I was in the middle of the snuggle-fest..by that time I was too faded to do anything about anything...I had four hands on me, kept securely in on both sides, and was warm..I passed out in three seconds..

WNDP26....
..what just happened???

So it may have been one of the weirdest emotional WNDP's to date...

So all day at work I had no idea it was Thursday, I mean I knew, but I didn't think it was, it felt like a Monday..probably the days off I had, but still. So at work I was thinking about what to do tonight...wanted to watch a movie, more or less go out, but nothing is out (and everyone and their cat wants to see Sin City...ohhh, artsy mother fuckers...) So when I realized it was Wednesday, I couldn't, and didn't want, to believe it..I just wanted to watch MacGyver or something..something tame..but that's not what happened...

I arrived to the house late, 11:00, thus missing the season finale of Ashlee, but was immediately happy when I saw Chris. Shortly after I walked in the door I got a call from Danielle asking me to pick up some things for tonight..so Chris and I took off (god I love that kid)...I asked him about the house, and it's a total go..I just have to reconfirm the idea into his head many a times, so it doesn't accidentally slip and leave me homeless..

made it back home, few more people showed up, but I still needed to make some calls..especially since the Kneeler wasn't there. Rain started coming down, everyone was on the porch..I made the offer to make out in the rain, and as I went to change my clothes (getting out of the work clothes I needed to wear for tomorrow) I was distracted several time..even after I changed my actions were elsewhere..by the time I actually made it out, the rain had nulled to a drizzle..o Amber and I started talking...people came out to the balcony, didn't notice us, those drunk bastards...then we hear, "move..I'm gonna hit you.." it was Neil, on his bike...faded as hell.

I don't know how he does it, but every Wednesday he manages to get himself more drunk than the prior week..and everytime as he leaves he always says the line, "I've never been this gone before..." ohh man..anyways...he walks inside, I hear the yell from the crowd inside, regaled at his presence...soon after I see him with lit candle on the porch, with the "let's do this" look on his face...god, why do they taunt me so...

So we got inside, and Neil actually wanted to get in on the action, so to speak...I mean it was Beer-thirty on a random Wednesday night, why not? so we got on the couch side-by-side, Danielle poured the hot wax over our bare chests while Chris took pictures...then it was Chris' turn..and then Danielle and Christa(?) got in on the action..and I converted four non-believers over to that side...Neil actually thought it was really hot, really hot..and everyone else enjoyed it as well...I know what I'm talking about...yes, even involving sexual activities..from the virgin (enter my favorite quote from the other night in here)..

that drunken charade went on for awhile, I obtained a camera and I had fun taking random shots...Molly was drunk, and belligerent..and in a few moments everyone was peacing out..Neil was up and gone in literally two seconds, and people just followed his exodus..a minor dance party lingered on the floor for a song or two, but then everyone left made their way to the porch..small and quick conversation was made..people not wanting to walk with other people..drunk people leaving and then coming back...yeah, random

I'll quote the official time of death at 2:00, though everyone finally got their asses off the porch fifteen minutes later...












Pies will be served at my wedding....and there are two people on the receiving end...

Sleepless Nights...
resulting in sleepless nights...

it's a chain reaction, cause and effect...one sleepless night causes the next to be sleepless for other reasons...

So all I remember from this morning was a lot of noises...phones ringing, alarms going off..just chaos. Mindy left at 8, I think, but Alaina stayed..and we slept in til 2. I think she skipped her one class she had for the day..the tent is just too damn irresistable...I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to the region like I had affirmed the night prior and decided to get on other things....

one of the phone calls was from work, they were requesting me to fill out some forms they sent to my email account, so that was on my agenda...of course I needed to print one of them off and send via fax back by today..so again Amber comes to save the day for me, printing out the document I needed, but she was not in good spirits today..I don't like Emo Amber, she seemed so angry and disdainful...I think I'd rather have emotionless Amber back...but there's nothing I can do, except for feel horrible about not being able to help in any way..whatever..

I donned the realtor look and went to the ReMaxx office just down the road to request information on the house I scoped out last night. I had my name badge on and all, it was hilarious. I got the information after I talked with them a little bit, pulling my real estate cloud right over them...I got the info and immediately wanted to go inside..I mean come on, it's day time, I'd be able to see things more clear and it wouldn't be as creepy...

so I got Amber to come over to go with me and we headed off...we got to the house, I walked around in the yard again, this time having information about the wrought iron fence that is all around..but I wanted in again. so we entered, and we heard those noises again, but of course in the daylight nothing could harm you..right? we came to find that it was indeed the smoke detector running out of battery power...just 20 of them, one for every room...we looked around, walked in all the rooms, off the balconies at the top, all around, it was great..the one creepy thing was nearing the end of the tour/look-around as we were in the library we heard a noise. it sounded like water..running water..someone was in the bathroom..and it was loud at times..but we stayed, I ignored it, and it went away, but it still was creepy..I mean, especially since the house has been vacant for awhile now and water just doesn't flush itself through a house randomly...

we left the house, went to the basement which can only be accessed from the outside, and it's not a basement, just a crawl space..which creeps me out more than anything in the world...after that we headed back, I got out of my realtor clothes and became scene...so scene it hurt..

I made a sandwich and then passed out for a couple...why I was so tired is beyond me....when I came to, I saw the time, continued where I left off, going upstairs to find nothing on the TV, got online, started to write..but got a phone call for the invite for what is going to be a Tuesday tradition...

on the way over I got a phone call, from an infamous person..I was going to meet up with her had I gone up to the region..but I didn't go, and she actually sounded disappointed, so naturally promised her another time, even saying I had thought about going up when I got the phone call so I could see her and get my other stuff done in the morning..but remembered my plans I made earlier...

I went over to Mindy B's, there we gather for hanging out, though I don't like the group that hangs out with us..I want to watch Court TV, the greatest Heists and Forensic files..but everybody just wants to talk, lame ass. Mindy made snacks, I brought my own wine this time (as to not feel like a douche..) we all talked, played some games, not all the way through, we all have ADHD..then the sexual what if/would you books came out..and then sex was the heavy topic...Alaina was uncomfortable by this, poor girl...of course she didn't appreciate it when I put her phone down my pants..so yeah, she was not in the mood for all this...it was nearing 4 when all's started to leave..by that time Mindy was drunk and trying to seduce me in front of everyone there..so not cool..

I did stay the night..don't ask me why or for what (same thing in retrospect..). Mindy cooked me breakfast, actually it was lunch, maybe even brunch by the time we got out of bed..ok, yeah, definitely 3..it was nice, she always cooks for me, and I know that's her thing, but still, I feel like I'm using her for that, but I'm not..I just like food..ever hear of win a guy's heart through his stomache?...whatever...one thing I will say..I'm a cold person, I like lots of blankets...Mindy is a warm person, she has no covers on her, and likes to sleep naked at times...and for that conflicting reason, I told her no cuddling...was it that reason? I also told her no sex..we cannot have sex in this relationship, for as we all know, sex ruins all...I think this is how all my relationships will forever go from now on...til later..













"Wow, you're amazing for a virgin.....hell, for a whore you'd still be incredible...."

3 Way Cuddling..
..and another eventfully lazy day...

So for whatever reason I had another two days off in a row..leaving so many possibilities...

After a wild Sunday night I remained in the bed til 3..I slowly got myself out and showered (yeah, showered, even though I just took one the other day..wow....) this would come in handy later...I met up with Amber and we walked into town to go shopping. it was only our intentions to go to Urban, but it's a shopping trip none-the-less.

I purchased some clearanced items, mainly pillows..and the best was a shirt that said, "I am God"..yeah good enough for me. after that we split up, she had to go do something..you know..school stuff..so I walked back to the house with my purchases, then I walked to Subway..enjoyed their new chipotle chicken bacon ranch sandwich (wow that's a lot of nounal adjectives...) I tidied up my room, trying to keep up on it from the cleaning I did, then I went out for some more shopping...

At target I picked up some more cosmetics and a mirror (to finish me off) and then ran over to Staples for the dry erase markers....but on the way to target I was traveling down Atwater, not taking the Mitchell detour to bring me over to third to go up that way, for whatever reason..so as I get to the T I start turning left and notice the huge house in front of me..it looks really cool and all, then I saw the For Sale sign and did a double take..so as I came back home I stopped at the place to check it out (we all know what a huge fan I am of older houses..) Taking a look around just excited the piss out of me..it had like 6 doors on the main floor to try, and a couple of them were open...so I quickly made it back to the car and left - I'm not going into any vacant house alone...

so I get home, find the house online, my price guess was right (I rock), then I needed to print off a document I needed for tomorrow, but Jim's computer is acting up and the printer doesn't recognize any networking we may have..so I asked Amber to print it out for me..so when I went to pick it up I told her to come with me..I told her about the house on the way there, we walked around, but I wanted to get inside..so we went to the door I had previously opened and slowly crept in...there were two doors..one leading to the garage and the other to the house..naturally I tried the house, and it too was open! so taking baby steps we made our ways in..there were squeaky noises, loud squeaky noises..at first it sounded like re noise a smoke detector makes when the batteries are low..but then it got too loud, too inconsistent and closer...so we left...

I dropped off amber and went back to my place...two seconds after arriving here Alaina shows up...she said she was coming over yesterday, but changed plans and moved it today I guess....we played DDR, it was actually the first thing that really came out of her mouth..so we played, got damn sweaty and then rested..it's been awhile since I've played for an extended period of time. Then I made the comment on how she completed 1 of the 3 things people must do when they are my guests...which led to the tour...and ending up in the tent.

we were in there for about an hour until Mindy Bruce came over then it was back upstairs for the party? Side note, Mindy brought the leftover casserole from last Tuesday for me, I was soo happy... We started with some DDR, played Loser, I still frickin' love that game, and sat around talking for a good portion of the night - funny thing, I painted my toenails during this time...

I got hungry and Mindy grilled up some sandwiches for us to eat..then it was kitchen couch lounging time..it got close to 4am and Mindy said it was time to go..but Alaina reminded me about the tent and pictures..so we all headed down there and of course we didn't leave...once everyone got down in the tent, it was too warm and comfortable to leave, so I set the alarm for 8 and we called it a night...













There's a Big Spoon, a Little Spoon, and the middle...they're both...call them the bi-sexuals of spooning...

WNDP25...
..it's silver..and cold?

Oh, another week, another WNDP to keep us alive....

So I pulled another miraculous quick close and made it out of work by 1020, just in time to get back to watch Ashlee...ohh how I love that girl...this week's episode was pretty lame..she got a dog, which she wants to take on tour..so she'll probably kill it...and then she got that bastard Ryan a hampster, and he hates her, so whatever...

As 11 rolled up a knock was heard from the door...who knocks, honestly..so we knew it was someone new..another random MySpace person..he's in a band who's supposed to be playing with coinslot..whatever, it was nice to add new blood to the mixture...

Others gradually strolled in, Danielle who wasn't going to be present, eventually made it with her friend ( me thinks she wanted to see the surprise I had..) DDR was played, hookah was smoked, there was a huge snuggle session in my tent, I was on the phone for a majority of it..and in the biggest turn of events, Neil brought it back to the basics..brought it back home, down to it's roots....yeah, he was faded on a Wednesday Night!

I'm sure I'm missing out in a lot, but in all it was a great turnout..I was happy with the results, even with those who just stopped in for a second to say hi, that's all we ask....people had a good time...Neil and I came up with the greatest theory for the year about me..to be mentioned later..but all in all, yeah, I'd say it was good...

there were two pivotal conversations I had on the phone, the first was a happy call, the second was a call I received which was not so happy..and honestly, it's been such a long time since I've offered advice for someone, or they came to me seeking advice, I really had no idea what to do..for that I'm sorry, I do care, but I wanted to feed you things that would make you feel better, which may or may not be the right thing...but I'm always here for an open ear....


People left just as they had come, all at differing times...the official time of death would be 2:56, but Metal and Neil left around 4..Amber of course stayed, actually I forced(?) her to, well, told her she was staying...we needed to talk, especially after she throughout the line about me being misguided...

the evening ender in the tent turned out to be an interesting one...I swear, nothing is normal with me..well, thanks all for coming, see you next week..or any time in between you'd like to stop by as well....

Day Two of Three...
..how long does it take to destroy me...

And if it wasn't going to be yesterday, it was going to be today...

Today was a nothing day..nothing on the agenda, nothing to do..I woke up at 2, relatively early considering what time I actually passed out..but figured I was tired and went back to sleep and woke again at 4ish...(damn that 2pm wake up back to nap til 4 scenario keeping constant..) So then it was what to do with myself sort of mood....last night in a drunken stupor I left Jim a note asking if he wanted burgers on Monday, in actuality the note read, "Burgers? Heart AP"...funny thing because it was in the most perfect of handwriting, go figure...

so that's what I had on my mind...making burgers..the idea of bowling was tossed out again, but that amounted to nothing which actually angered me to say the least..been wanting to go bowling for god only knows what reason, but damn it, I can't go alone...no matter how drunk I was.. Burgers were good.then the band practiced and I watched TV..after that I got back online then realized what my purpose was at WalMart the other day and went back..Funny thing about that, I didn't park in the handicapped spot, probably afraid to after getting confronted on it last night (ok it's after midnight.on a Sunday, you tell me what a handicapped person is doing out at that time and I'll give up my spot..fuckers..) I mossied along, gathering my random items, and would you believe, I was carded to by some engine chemical for my car? The cashier told me I don't look near 22..(ughh, 22..)

So then I went over to Amber's, handing out free Peeps to people in the process...that was a fun trip..for a bit of time they were arguing over finding a lost cassette of some recording..way to lose the tape Amber...anyways, I got a free banana cupcake which Amber wasn't ever going to eat..and I left the room in a tizzy all because Amber was going to try and go Vegan..LAME ASS...so I hurriedly got up and left on that note, with her stuffed dog still attached to my belt..I ran down the hall with it and in a brisk pace she came after..I made it to the stairs and I knew she hadn't thought out the process fully - and she had left her keys in her room, making it virtually impossible to come after me passed the hallway door...I eventually did give up the dog, she was almost in tears....which would be the second time I have cased her to cry in a three day time span..go me

from there I went to Mindy B's..I had called her up randomly and in a half sarcastic half real motive asked for food..(hey she said she would bring leftovers to me, and nobody jokes about free food with me..) so I showed up, we cleaned out her fridge in the process, some things had mold on them..it's amazing how people can't finish leftovers, it really is..so as I was finishing up the random food, she asked if I wanted to split some rice stuff she was about to make..uhh, of frickin' course...so she whipped up that and some chicken, added some cheese, put it together and I had another meal. she said she didn't like the way it tasted so I finished her bowl, and she gave me the rest to take home...(good god I seem to eat a lot don't I? fucking pig...)

And so we sat on the couch, watched TV, and it was those really cool episodes tat I like to watch too, you know the crime investigating ones..ohh yeah...and we talked about things...which was awkward and made her uncomfortable a bit, only because of who was in the house, whatever...yeah, I was able to get the answers I needed from the quick overpan she gave..4am rolled around and I headed out back home..to call it a night for myself...

going over there could be the equivalent of gong to the region to see Blue....it would have had the same motives, same hopes and aspirations....and consequently the same left downs...one was never achieved only because Mr Cynic beat up Mr idealist...but as the cynic was resting in his little throne, partying it up at the after fight get together, the idealist was out and about to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting town..had it been a couple days later I probably would have been wise and not went over, but I was still shell shocked from the cynic victant...there's nothing really left to be said other than I am the only cause of my biggest strives. my actions alone destroy what I build....













I'm not a concept. I'm just a fucked up boy looking for his own peace of mind. I'm not perfect.

First Day Off...
..restraining myself

What a Sunday..of doing nothing, which in itself is doing a lot....

So after a dramatic buildup at work, emotions high, and getting myself to sleep with tears, Sunday arrived with a tough act to follow. I remember waking up around, getting angry, then going back to sleep..only to wake up a couple hours later...I knew being awake wasn't the best thing for me to be doing...with me awake, anything could happen..things I may regret, and since we are already on a streak of hating myself, sleep would at least keep me tied down to one central location not harming anyone but myself.

as the time past, I grew more and more restless...the trip to the region which start with a faint knocking on the back on my mind, boomed loudly over every thought..hungry wasn't even safe from the ravage...the night prior I had sent a text message out, I had an agenda, a game plan, a verbal ranting attack, one tat I had been putting off for the past couple days...I got my response early morning, 6am or so, and therefore wasn't in the right mind set to get into it..but as I was pacing the house I was too afraid to call..I sent another text at 7 which got an instant reply..and my mood changed

and there I was standing between a cynic and a hopeless idealist, the latter always being the victor in these situations, always up for a flight on a whims; and the former usually taking home the I told you so trophy at the end of the tournament. What was I to do..the question that has been asked countless times, and every time more important than the previous.

And as the time tick tocked away, my packed bags anxiously waiting for me, the battle raged on, the coin was useless, and I just wanted someone to make a decision for me - but something I wanted to hear - which would be having this situation not exist because either way I didn't want to do it..it was horrible, I can't stress enough how psychologically plaguing it was for me..

in the end, I stayed here - of course there was still the option of leaving at anytime and making it to the region by 6am...so I had to distract myself..I went shopping and meandered around WalMart for the longest time. the trip wasn't a good feeling, only in the sense that riding in my car made me want to go for a drive....but the trip proved more than beneficial to me; it was there I picked up the MacGyver First Season DVD Set - which would only come in handy later..

I returned happy with my purchases..Amber came over and we ruined something precious...something I was finally appreciating...and then I got drunk and watched MacGyver in the process. Would you believe there are 6 discs for the first season, and four episodes on each disc...amazing. needless to say, I only made it through the first disc...by 7:00am as the last caper was foiled by MacGyver I was faded as could be, then ensued the drunk dialing...it was great because Monday was the first day of classes for IU and people would have to be up in a couple hours anyways..so for those said reasons, people were actually answering their phones..and they weren't too happy, though most did get a kick out of it, everyone calling me crazy..good times....

so I guess the highlight of the night, well, not for me moreso for Amber, was right after I concluded the drunk dials...I was getting up to use the bathroom and call it a night/day...so as I stumble to a stand, I turn from the couch and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the credenza across from me. Instant shock smacks me in the face..my hands automatically go to my face in the "oh my dad covering my mouth" fashion, and I whined...I was almost in tears...my idea of not looking at myself til I was completely faded didn't turn out to such a great idea..though I couldn't see being sober and finally seeing that any better either....

a lot was accomplished...I watched MacGyver (who I have the hugest crush on it the world..), I popped the infamous Cinnabon popcorn, had a Cool Whip fight, got blitzed, drunk dialed, ruined my beauty, destroyed people's lives, got very belligerent, and I don't even know what else...

then I decided it was time to go to sleep, I did enough damage for the day...but as I got into the tent, I thought it would be a good idea to make a few more calls..which turned out only to be one, and it was a most sincere apology to Mindy B..about how much of a horrible person I was...

and thus concluded the day...












we all know that the best lessons come from mistakes we have made

everytime i work i find a dime..

And It All Comes Crashing down...
..my existence is futile....

Can you believe, it's Saturday and I'm at here...to weep myself to sleep...

I got to sleep around 4ish last night..I was up on the phone for awhile, which is probably for the better since it was only one person I was talking to that night, when in reality there were several people that would have been dialed, and lord only knows what I would have said..so you can thank Amber for that....

I got to sleep in, not having to work til 4, which is a good thing, not only was I able to catch up on the missed sleep from this entire week, but I was asleep, and therefore not wallowing in self pity like I would be later....

work was horrible..all day I did not speak unless I was spoken to...I wouldn't even acknowledge people's existence, not on purpose, I was in my own little world, I really didn't notice people less they made an effort to come to me...I spaced out everyone and the background was just a blur to me..a blur hidden behind an every-now-and-then quasi-teary-eyed Jason. I was surprised, but only one person actually asked me what was wrong, that I seemed out of it (ok, there were a couple now that I think about it, but this one instance sticks out because I actually gave an answer...), so my response was something along the lines of, "I don't exist today..I'm just here to put my five hours in, that's all..but I'm not actually here.." I guess that's the nice way of saying you're dead to the world...

I did have a slight highlight, well two...towards the end of the night Jared found me and asked if I had a girlfriend, I scoffed...apparently one of the girls at the table last night at BDubs thought I was pretty attractive, and funny thing was Jared said knowing her and knowing who was going to show, he had an inclination she would be attracted to me, whatever that is supposed to mean..so I told him whatever, work something out, I don't care, play with it, whatever..so I guess we'll see where that goes, my money is on that I won't like her....

and the other highlight was at the end of the night, Brucer gave me her salad to eat, all because I said I wanted a tomatoe..and then I got a slice of pizza and random munchies off of Char's plate..free food rocks..and is probably the only thing that will keep me eating on this depressed fall-down..

I went home..I didn't go out, I actually don't think there was anything going on..I think everyone took a night off....well, tomorrow's Sunday, everybody should be returning back from the glorified Spring Break..and me, well...I don't know where I'll be for three days...











Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.....

Partying Day Number....
ehh, who's keeping count anyways...

So yeah, after a week filled of random get-togethers..the weekend is here to party?

So the party's throughout the week were really something...I mean anything before Wednesday was just crazy, maybe even a warm-up of sorts...then you got the traditional WNDP, obviously that was going to take place..then the next day was Irish Day, so there was no way alcohol wasn't going to be consumed and parties partified...and then maybe you'd want to stop and take a break from everything, but you can't..the weekend is here, you must go out and party like you would do any other weekend....oh man...

so it's Friday, and most of everyone had been partying the entire week, and it soon became our phrase that I cleverly coined, "Soo, what are we doing tonight..." in a very Go-esque fashion..yeah, we all remember the end of the movie the guy asks that question after the one hell of a crazy night they all had....yeah, same thing here...

I worked yet another double, again as busser in the morning and hosting at night - I think that's why I have a fixation with hats..because I wear so many in everything I've ever done...anyways, nobody had any grand schemes for this evening in the morning, no pre-planned parties..but later in the evening talks of an outing at BW3's were mentioned..now it was weird because I heard it as Ben W was trying to get people together for this..then I heard how Jared was pulling it together later...and then as I left people were asking me what time they should go, so I made an executive decision to meet after 10? yeah, I felt not so proper giving out the time, but I figured I was cut, I would therefore be out of the loop, if we had a solid time out, people would adhere to it...whatever...

I got to BDubs shortly after 10..I didn't see anyone at first, but then Jared came up to me and brought me to the table. a nice table for 12, so far it was Jared and his group of friends..so in realty I was hoping somebody would be there soon...Mindy showed up not to shortly after me, which was good (or maybe not?) so I moved down by her, since I knew her and I had the trivia module thing that she was so into the other night we were there...

more people came, and we continued to make the table longer and longer, it was quite a sight to see..I hit on the waitress, of course...I think the best line was, "so Corrie, do you have a boyfriend, because I was wondering or not to put my phone number as your tip.." yeah, I had a few drinks in me as you could tell...but the coolest thing was, she said she did have a boyfriend, but would still call the number...god, I don't remember anybody being that responsible since...me - yeah, we all remember the number Asian Tony's girlfriend acquired for me from the Showplace 16 concession stand worker girl..whom I still talk to this day in fact..when I was still dating Brooke, but called to set things straight..yeah, people like that rock....

another thing of the night, so in the very beginning I moved down by Mindy, which was the end of the table...and as more tables were put together, it soon became the middle, and by the end of the night, now was the opposite end..hey, shutup, I got a kick out of it...my fucking story, get off it...

the night went well, except for maybe the conversation Mindy and I had...I mean I'm glad we got to talk about it..but at the same time the self-analyzation and breakdown of myself, only led to the emotional breakdown I would have later..I think it was the straw on the camel's back..too much drama in too little time..lacking any substance worth caring for in my life right now..whatever the case may be, I went home and after a phone call, cried myself to sleep...










Breakups are like broken mirrors - trying to fix it will only result in more pain....

Happy St. Patty's Day...
because I refuse to say that name..

Yes, the day where everyone is a little bit Irish...even the dirty Kikes...

So you'd think in any normal situation, after the extreme drama that happened only hours ago last night, nobody would be wanting to party...but it's March 17th, and you can't not party on this day..it'd be like not wearing green..on..this..day....anyways parties were to be had...

I worked a double, and the topic of discussion on everyone's tongue was the instance that happened the night prior..I had to retell the story countless times, but there was a swing to the story and Leah made the sway to make Kurtis out to be some crazed fool..They both had the day off luckily, but both came in at separate times to talk to the managers about working opposite..tensions were high....

whatever, I worked as a busser in the morning and hosted at night with an hour break in between...I was in good spirits oddly enough..and hosting only makes me happier since I get to greet..plans to get together tonight were spreading by the time I left work...and when I got home, only more ideas came about from Jim and Maria...well, my partying arse hasn't been getting much sleep as of late, were talking like two hours every 12 hours? yeah, so being involved with all that drama the night before, the drama that ensued in the tent, no sleep, working a double...I passed out for a couple hours while plans were going to actually amount to something....

well as I was sleeping Asa called me telling me a group was at Yogi's, which wasn't the place we were all supposed to be going to originally, but whatever...I called him back, realized it was his house, and then called him back on the number he called me on the first time Mindy's cell...Mindy had already left, and from the way she made it sound, the crowd was thinning out at Yogi's anyways..so whatever...

so I felt like I had missed out, my St. Patty's day was over...Jim, Maria, and I did make a quick run over and into the abandoned house across the street..yeah, the basement light was still on, but it was still creepy...

Then I remembered Matt was having a party, and since I was dressed I felt the obligation to go out..as I was thinking it over, I got a text from Alaina, who ironically enough I was just about to text message, even weirded was the fact her message was , "What....." like she was anticipating me to text her...crazy..so I found out she was at Lauren's, and that's where everyone else was too, so with that confirmed knowldge, I was on my way...

got to the party, you know...typical OG party...OG people...drinking....I guess the highlight was the huge Hookah on the living room table...oh, and the fact that anyone could smoke Hookah, marijuana, or anything else in the house...but cigarettes...oh no...go outside for that....whatever, fucking hippie potsmokers....

for whatever reason I felt some need to stay, even as he crowd thinned out, I stayed, no intentions on any hookups believe it or not, but I just felt like staying....I did eventually take care of "Bruce" who got drunk on wine...there was a mini-dance party that raged for a good hour or so...then Lauren decided she was tired and wanted to sleep, so everyone picked up and left around 5-6ish...with the exception of Brucer and myself....

and I'm a horrible person....

I woke up at 10 that morning, again after getting only a couple hours of sleep, realized I still needed to get back to the house on the east-side of town, then to the OG on the west-side by 1030...well, needless to say, I made it, and I rock for it..











The value the world sets upon motives is often grossly unjust and inaccurate......

WNDP24!!
OG Party...

Well, what a night...there seems to be more drama at the OG than on the OC.....

http://portfolio.iu.edu/kchender/Leah_s_Message.wav







The Bible, Luke 15:11-32. Parable of the prodigal son......it's about forgiveness....

Tuesday's My Day...
Picking it back up....

So for the most part, today was a very productive day...

I think it was to make up for the horrible day I had yesterday, well, continuing with the salvaging idea..I woke up late, it was 2:20, so yeah, definitely late..but as soon as I woke up, othing but productivity on my part...I got my haircut, came back here, showered, shaved, did my taxes, filed my FAFSA, made a blogpost, applied to some jobs, and was off to work by 4..under two hours and I totally rocked out during that time...

at work everyone noticed something different about me...the thing about the haircut is I actually got it cut when I needed just a touchup, not a full fledged haircut..so of course it wasn't too noticeable to anyone since I style it like a madman to begin with..some noticed the forward push it had, nothing like I've done before..but they still said something was off...then I filled them in...I shaved, everything off my face...

yes, so now I'm back to looking like I am twelve again, yippie for getting carded for R-rated movies..everyone likes the look of course, the baby-face and all..so whatever, I just don't like the fact I look so young, now there'll be no doubt in anyone's minds that I'm still in highschool...

So after work there was a party, funny thing about that is as soon as I walked in the doors at the OG the greeter asked me if I was going to Ryan's (the kid who was having the party..) and then that was the question on everyone's minds after that....I did have plans for breaking into the abandoned house across the street and watching Home Movies, but I guess we'll see what happens....

I was last to leave work, so I quickly made it here, saw nobody was around, and figured plans for the night were cancelled, so I headed to Ryan's, figuring people would be there since it was after 11...I did my best to figure out the crappy directions and made my way in the general area where he lived..when I got inside, I was the first OG person there...fifteen minutes passed and Ryan asked me if I could go out on a liquor run for him, not a problem - I'm used to it...we get back, they all go in the back, I walk around to the front on my phone and then I notice this car driving around slowly...at first I thought it was an OG person trying to find it or parking..but the car came back and pulled up next to me, it was a B-policeman..

we chatted, asked some questions, I let him know what was going on, I was the very charming and understanding Jason, and he departed...went back inside, more OG started to show up..then Ryan's friends brought in a Hookah..and not two seconds afte that the cops were at the door asking who brought the drugs in..

this definitely was a party/buzz kill because now there were two Bpolice outside, and even after the explanation and visual of what a hookah was, they stayed outside chatting it up for a good part of the night...

the cops did eventually leave, what seemed like after an hour, and all was well..typical party, people drinking and hanging out...but here's what I didn't get...so everyone is having a good time, there was free alcohol provided, the cops were gone, we were sitting around talking...then they get the idea to move to another location, back to Adam's...

now this was the game-plan for if the cops were going to continue to stay, but they left, and time has passed in between as well...then for whatever reason they must have said, "this is lame" or "this place is dead anyways" and got up and left...I followed just to see what could possible be better than staying at Ryan's...

So I went to Adam's..and yeah, it was the same thing...only less alcohol and a smaller place...the TV was on and half the group was watching the music video's while the rest bitched about the OG...now that was lame...I was one of the last people to leave however..probably out of fear that as soon as I left they would start talking shit about me just as they did about everyone else who left prior...that, and to watch over Alaina who had been drinking, but was ok enough to drive in a few..so yeah, wanted to check on that....

I left, came back here, and yeah, that's the night in review...a lot accomplished in a little amount of time, then a random party to get things going for the week...












Stars are like friends; there's always some around, you just need to find your favorite one.

3.14...
..a Pi gone bad???

So it was Pi day....it's not the 15th of March..things should be ok..right?

So the day started off with an earlier than normal wake up - 10:30, finally rolling out at 11:15 or so...hey, it is my day off, spring break, I can do whatever the fuck I want...anyways, even though it was my day off, I wanted to get an early jump on things..so I got to the bank, deposited some money like a good boy I am and then I was off to the store..I was told my phone was supposed to come in today..I was excited, perfect timing..

well the exit from the store should have been a foreshadow of how things were to come..I open the door, leave the store, and try to walk away..but there's these two little steps, insignificant little unnoticable steps...and I trip like none-other. I don't even know what I did, but as soon as my footing went askew I said in my head, "oh, that's not right.." and I totally tripped over myself..stumbled trying to regain my steps and not fall on my face..and crashed into my car three spaces away. upon colliding into Lucille, I immediately turn and look to the car parked two spaces back where a lady was sitting in the parked vehicle, obviously witnessing everything that just happened...so out of pure shock I say, "did that just happened?..what the hell was that..did I just fall?" and she was in totally awe of the situation tried answering back through her semi-cracked window thus allowing for a mutter to be heard...but I did eventually make out "are you ok" to where I responded with "

so yeah, as I got into my car, toe throbbing and a bit confused, I hoped that this was just going to be the one downfall for the day, getting it out early, and the rest would be as great as a piece of pie....

I ate at this placed called Mama's, which from the name you would never guess was Korean food..I knew of the place before I knew of the name, so don't think I was mislead in that sense...I met a coworker there at 130, when we were actually supposed to be meeting everyone else there at 300, but the lady wanted to get the lunch special price so I figured I'd accommodate to her needs and by the time were finishing up our meal, the others would be showing up as well. And that is exactly what happened..we both stayed til four and we left while the rest of the gang hung out for a little bit longer....

the food was good...the funniest thing of that dining experience is when I ordered my food and the waiter said, "do you know what that is?" and I was like yeah..and started regurgitation the description the menu originally gave me..and then said, yeah I have no idea...and he said, "the dish, the smell and look of it may be intimidating for an American Caucasian.." and I was like whatever, it's what I picked from that tricky menu I'll take it, so he said good, stick wit it, good...ahh, good times...

so then after I left everything started falling through....I got a phone call from Ms. Amber, and she had bad news to bare...I had sent her on a wild goose hunt favor, and her being the nicest person who wants my cock ever, gladly obliged and did my bidding (ha..) And though she came through with her part..the end product was not what we had hoped for...so it just made things get pushed back to April...and thus making a region trip for the 20-22 almost needless....almost, hinging on one person...

THEN, an online chat happens Heather aka Blue went back on her promise for us to get together on the upcoming Sunday (that's the 20th) saying things might be awkward...you see, she, or as she has told me, has randomly hooked up with some guy in the tour...whether this was a recent ting or something that has been being dragged out the entire time is beyond me, she's more than likely still a bitch in my mind...so then I explained that we promised to get together that Sunday just to hang out, as friends, wit the slight inclination to see if anything could work out between us, friends, nothing, something more than friends..you get the drift..but to start, we would be friends.....and then I went into this rant on how, if she can't even muster being around me because she's with someone else, and would even go back on a promise..that's not a friendship, we don't have a friendship of any kind and she can basically fuck herself in hell, because at least I was the one trying...

so we went round and round with it...never came to any actual end, so we left it as we'll discuss later...bunch of shit in my mind...but when I think about it....the most recent time I can think of when she actually called me first was that drunk dial, wherein she said, " I miss you" and that was like a week and a half ago at the most...wow, what a kike....

so then I went back to the store, they said they would call when my phone came in..but we all know how jenk the phone I am using now is, and so I really don't know when people are calling me..so I figured I'd go into the store, just in case they tried to call and I didn't get it...but to much my surprise, the phone didn't come in, apparently their orders have been messing up for the past two weeks and they keep hoping that the shipment will come in, every single day...

And then I called the employment agency about an assignment they had setup for me...I was happy at the thought of being able to finally have two jobs once again...well, as the day would have it, the job required some traveling and clashed with any hours I could even come up with at the OG..an 11-7 job, what kind of bullshit is that, honestly...

And on top of all that, there was going to be a DDR marathon with Alaina and myself..but because on Saturday I told her I'd get her number on Sunday when we both worked, and then Sunday she got cut before I got to work..we never had the chance to cross paths, exchange numbers, and have ourselves a day of dancing...

So I tried to pull this one out of pit that the day had fallen in, I wasn't going to go down without a fight..I got on my phone and started calling around to see if any place within a 200 mile radius had my phone..now, this phone is special because it hasn't hit sale floors of stores yet, yeah for me being up on the technology and having the best shit possible...but I found a place, right here and damn Bloomington..without hesitation, I got in my car and left...only to come back 15 minutes later with my new phone...

there was some other random little things that went on after that..Jim suggested bowling, and right as he ended his sentence I was already saying yes..he could have said just about anything there and I would have said yes...Jessica took me to this grocery store mart place down the road so I could pick her up some wine...and after that, the build up of my hectic, sressfilled day came to a crashing end with a nap...that lasted til 11 or so....

bowling never happened, I never watched Pi, ate a pie, nor made the concoction Pi...but I did get online...finished a conversation where it left me with no reason whatsoever to return to the region this upcoming weekend...and as soon as that fizzled out, another conversation started along the same grounds as the one I just left....wherein again I was asking some fucking bitch if she did in fact want to be considered friends, or toss everything to the wind and say fuck off for good...

apparently my attitude didn't allow for the conversation to continue, that and homework...but I'm sure that's the last I'll really ever hear from that...I hate shams, I hate people, it's ridiculous, but just remember, even though you may mean the world to me now, I can drop you faster than a sack of potatoes..

some may argue if you can forget about, or turn on someone that easily, did you ever really care for them...that's a bullshit response I'll tell you what...it's me we're dealing with...I live on both extremes at the same time..it may not be possible, but you never met me....so....either get in good, or I'll hate you with a passion...and there is no middle ground...







Faith in Chaos....

How About This...
..I just don't fucking care...

Alright, here's a quick rant to let out feelings, and then not care again...

So everybody's got their issues, everyone watches something...as of recent Jim has been the Toilet Paper Nazi, and to call him a Nazi is not a derogatory thing, it's not a cut down but rather places him on a pedestal above the rest...maybe overlord would be a better term? Anyways, somebody likes to use the last of the TP and not replace it with a new roll. It's not a difficult task, the extra TP is on the other side from you and used roll...and a better thing to point out is, just how is it that miraculously - no matter how many squares are left- it just so happens to be he right amount for them to use it all up, and not need another roll brought out..are these lazy fucks also practicing poor hygiene?

So there's that rant, at least someone knows what's it like to want to live like humans and not be able to achieve that...one of the last things that I care about shouldn't even effect me at all, but it definitely strikes a chord with me....I don't know who it is, but whenever I go to the bathroom, the toilet seat is up! you know, I thought it was just an old wives tale how guys left the toilet seat up..and I thought after all those jokes were made in the early 90's all guys got the hint and were able to move past that..but no, not here...everytime I walk into that bathroom and see that seat propped up, it devalues me as a male..I think to myself, "Gee, way to fit the stereotype you worthless fucks." I mean seriously, how fucking hard is it to even nudge the seat so it falls closed..your hand is right there when you flush the toilet - what the fuck is your deal?

And I know something as simple as this shouldn't bother me, and as I said, it's one of the last few things I actually have some feelings toward, even though it isn't even that rational...and of course my biggest argument is, "if it's such a small or simple thing..why can't it be fixed" life is made up entirely of the little things..it's all you need to worry about, it's all you need to care about. big things can fuck themselves, you have no say, input, or involvement in changing big things...nothing's bigger than the little things...something that can be easily changed, should.

So as you heard me say a couple times already, I really lack any bit of caring on what goes on in this house. Trash on Saturday's, I don't care..whatever. I live in my world - I ignore pretty much everything til I get to the basement. Crumbs on the counter, mediocrely cleaned stove, things in disarray...whatever..if I can get to my place without noticing them, we're all good...

I had someone over, really quickly, we were just make a quick stop here, and the best conversation happened.

"You said nobody was home right?"
"Yeah..why?"
"Do you live with children"
"No..why?"
"Well they must have been in a hurry or something, I just noticed peanut butter out with no lid, used utensils on the table, cups everywhere..."
"You're right, children would have the decency to clean up after themselves..."

and that makes me embarrassed to have people over. any other place I've been to since living here has kept cleaner (with some exceptions to the dorms I've been to, but that's justified since it is their bedroom, and bedrooms have the tendency to get a little more messier than the rest of the house..) Sure you can argue there are five plus two living here, but in all respect, shouldn't that mean there are five people to actually clean?

S - When did you stop caring? And why?
B - Same answer to both..couple months after living here.
S - Fair enough.

In all honesty, I'm looking forward to being homeless and living out of my car again..anything else to keep me somewhat more sane...

The World Was Saved Again...
..only by technicalities....

Oh what a night...but in a time-relative graph, not much happened....

So the day started, what, it's a Saturday right..ok, so yeah...I remember sleeping in; not because I didn't have anything to do, not because I wanted to, not because I just wanted to die, I did it to prove a point? maybe I just wanted to get some rest in since my days are sooo hectic (yeah right, give me a hectic day and I'll show you what's up..)

I went to work..that was fun let me tell you...it was Brittany's last day, it made me sad. of all the bussers, I really wouldn't want her to go. it's not that she busts her ass the most, I mean she does her fair share, but she can also slack off, like the time she read a book for her entire shift..but that's what makes her her, and thus likeable....anyways, I'll have nobody left at work to get me through it a little easier...of course her distractions were only bringing me back in my reality which I'd rather face out of work...complex but I like it like that...

so anyways, we started with this "Table Countdown" at around 5:30ish, which all in all was this little countdown game where after 50 tables of bussing, we would stop...Each table counted as one point, the family table and tables put together - if they needed two servers - equaled 1.5 points, and tables that we helped each other on were half a point. And you had to get to exactly zero, or you would reset...so no -.5 or anything like that...

it was mainly a test for chip, who came in at 6, because either way he was screwed - he either worked super hard to not allow us to get to zero, or, work as normal, let us get to zero and then he'd have to bust his ass...and as stupid as all this sounds, he was actually going along with it...as soon as he got on, he was claiming all the tables, and anything we were working on he would help us on...it was frickin' hilarious..

well needless to say, I got to zero first; so I took a bathroom break, checked my voicemail, checked my schedule, got a drink, ate a breadstick, and then I started running food. I maintained not bussing a table for a good half hour, if not longer, before yha-yha was cut and I had to go back to work. funny thing was Brittany finished her 50th table and took over scrapping for yha-yha and sent him to the floor while I was running food..it was awesome.


Oh, so one of the highlights of the night was I got four scratch off cards at OG - it's some lame game they are doing - if servers sell alcohol and wine and whatnot they get some scratch off card which could win them free food and whatnot...so I got four cards and each of my cards said "Free Fun Apparel" or something like that. I gave one of the cards to Brittany as a parting gift. when I got to pick my shit out, there wasn't much left..I grabbed some shirts and then Tom picked up this one item and said, "this will be up your alley" . it was a black and red Jim Beam bowling shirt. I said, "are you fucking kidding me...that's soo mine" yeah, this shirt is so cool, if only it were my size...

and the night came to a close - it was really slow from 8:30 on. I stayed to help chip get out of there quicker...but there was one point in which I threatened to walk out...you see, servers were being cut, the night was starting to wrap up, and I had only nine dollars from three servers so far for tips....and this count of my money that I did was when half the people had already left, I was pissed - as I should be, it's a frickin' Saturday night, I made my quota of 30 dollars for the night, which is completely undershooting a Saturday night closing shift....well, technicalities came into play. My dinero count at the end of the night was $23..then Tom gave me $5 one of the shirts I picked out, and Cassidy gave me some of her pizza - which I said would be good for her tip out - a couple dollars...sooo, given those terms, I made just over $30..and I didn't quit...and the world was saved yet again.....

So I got back home, changed and went to the OG party which was a spontaneous "everybody's gone, us losers who stayed her need to hang out' sort of thing. I had wanted to just stop in, say my hello's , and leave...but I knew that wasn't going to happen - well it all depended on who was there in all honesty. So I arrived, Brittany ironically enough was just getting out of her car as I pulled up so we walked and found the place together. not much really was going on..mainly people bitching about the OG..that got old fast. it continued, more people added in, and then out of nowhere Brittany suggested we play spin-the-bottle...and you know, honestly, I don't ever recall a serious moment at some party I've ever played this game, so naturally I was down...it's been a couple weeks since I kissed someone; I needed this?

we played, and we played this for over an hour, it just kept on going...though it seemed like the same people kept kissing the same people, so that was lame..I kissed the same four people the entire time - three girls and a guy. funny thing about that, guys always have to protest their heterosexuality before they kiss another guy. so nearing the close of the game, guy on guy kissing was somewhat normal, less dramatic, and just happened. the best part was I just finished kissing alaina, which was a little out of place - I went to end the kiss, but she kept gong, she I went with it, and then she eventually pushed me off? I didn't understand that transaction, but whatever. so as I get pushed back, I spin, the bottle gets hit and stops and lands on Mat, and on the high of the long drawn out tongue lashing I just had, I grabbed mat and shoved my tongue down his throat. the place went into an instaneous uproar, it was fucking hilarious.

after the bottle game ended we started reading from this book - one of those sexual orientated "who would you, what would you, what's the.." sort of things..yeah...nothing really happened after that...something came up about cuddling, and I asked Alaina if she wanted to be a cuddle buddy, and she said maybe some other night, and of course I was going to get to the root, no bush-beating here. So then i asked about Sunday night was possible, if she worked Monday morning or not..she lied, but I called her out on it..and then the topic got to DDR, and she's been meaning to come over and play with me. so she said we should definitly get togetherat least once some time this week to play; so then i say, "you don't work Monday, I don't work Monday - all day DDR-a-thon..and then maybe a cuddle session.." she gave a hesitant look so then I jarred in with, "What, it's not like I'm going to try and fuck you." and she started dying laughing..you see while the sex book was being discussed, we had a conversation about being a virign..so you see, it was a reference....back to that conversation..about not having sex..yeah...whatever...anyways, I cleaned up a bit for the drunk host, took home some cans in the process, and now I'm here, wide a-frickin'-wake...

so, how was your night?

19570.05

my debt as of today

New Beginnings...
Same results...

Well, my sister created an online journal yesterday..good for her...

now the more puzzling question of why I still call her my sister...I guess old/bad habits are hard to break...plus it would be hard to explain how a girl six years younger tan you is one of your friends?...you know, without getting into any of the harsh details involving things you would rather not bring up and have pushed in the back of your mind, hoping one day you'd forget about...but you don't regret it, because you've moved on....wow, what a rant that was...

anyways, I hope she keeps it up, the best of luck to her...she's young and has all sorts of time on her hands..and it is a great tool as well...not only does it help you keep track of your life, but it will keep your writing skills strong..and maybe actually develop them further...I mean look at me...wait, I still suck at life, so whatever...look at people who write books off of their blogs..

and in respect of keeping her life private from the vultures who read my journal, I have made the executive decision to not provide a link...there are some creepy fat bastards out there who like to stalk people..and I'd hate to bring anymore innocent victims into my mess...good day....

WNDP23!!!
..what just happened?

So a late start and a quick finish..what's the fuck?

This was a...different WNDP to say the least, but not in a bad way...Ever since I was awake today I had thought to myself, I want the dance party to happen, but in all honesty, I just want to sit..I'm fucking beat - emotionally and physically. And ironically enough, Neil wasn't even in the mood for it, as I found out later in the day from an earlier conversation where he said he wasn't even going to stop by...but its really a two-fold answer: you see, one he may not have been in the mood for it, but the main reason, two, is that he's a big fucking drunk bastard, and we just cracked on how he was sober for 2 of the 7 days last week...so he made a vow to himself that he was going to stay sober all week...and in order to accomplish that he would have to refrain from public endeavors such as going out, lord knows he won't drink alone.....

and may I say, that was a nicely long winded run-on sentence if I do say so myself...

anyways, I worked in the morning, got home and realized I had a lot of time to kill before any of the 'normal' plans were to happen...so I decided to cook hamburgers, and also tossed out the idea of going bowling...but bowling went nowhere yet burgers were made...I tried watching TV and realized TV sucks...I organized some of my paperwork down here..wanted to take a nap all this time, but did not...played Donkey Konga and then it was 10:30

Watched Ashlee....geez, why doesn't she realize Ryan Cabrera isn't interested in her...I mean come on, he's just using her lime light to excel his own career...whereas I adore her....I mean come on, we have matching phones - it's meant to be......

Nobody was over while I watched Ashlee...whatever..I left the room and when I returned (11:10) people were now in the living room..what's with the late arrivals people..and they were the first ones...more people eventually trickled in after 12, and Neil was a no-show, bastard.

so it started with everyone watching TV...that last a good while, then the scrabble board got whipped out, then the others played DDR, and I played Donkey Konga..there was a lot of action in that little bit of time.

I eventually tired of DK, and at the same time the scrabble group called it quits and left..then Kurtis left shortly after a round of DDR ( I still need to fix one of the pads...)

And with the rush of people leaving everyone else decided to leave as well....so the official time of death was 1:33, amazing.....

I wasn't the only one feeling off, I think everyone was either anally sore from mid-terms or just fatigued in general..maybe hyped up for spring break, whatever..our hearts weren't truly in it but people came anyways...and that's what makes it.....hell even that bastard from across the street came over in a drunken stupor...twice in fact, even played DDR...lameass....

so all who came, thanks a bunch, you guys keep it alive...if you didn't show, it'd just be me, drunk, on the floor, doing the Curly shuffle....picture that....

Read While You Wipe...
a shitty idea....

Alright alright...horrible pun, but what can I say..I rock none-the-less....

So I was just thinking, they have prints on paper towels..they have those scented toilet paper rolls...how bout go one further..put actually print on the toilet paper. I mean come on, people like to read while they are dropping a load, it's a fact, don't even try to deny it - you do it too!

but this is where it gets a little askewed....my idea of what to put on the rolls..what text would be on there..that's where we get a little....well, just hear me out...

So I want to put the bible on an entire roll of toilet paper.

Alright, so you got the obvious - wiping your ass with the bible, ha ha...whatever, for those who hate god, who hate organized religion, who hate the ficticous bible, well..there you go.

and for the holy rollers out there, this is your perfect opportunity to have time to read part of the bible!

and just think of the marketing for the product...I mean we all know how long the bible is, just imagine the other companies trying to compete with that..."our roll is so long it can hold the entire bible, whereas the other leading brands barely make it to Ezekiel"

Home Movies..
..the first season..

With a day off and nothing planned, what is there to do?

that statement alone should win some sort of award, for brilliance of course, but we'll just move right along and I'll continue with the story while the academy gets together to present the award at the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Achievement in the Field of Excellence

I slept in, of course, that seems to be the norm for me as of late..got up making a sandwich, trying to kill off the old bread since I bought new bread when I really didn't need it...Jim came home within the final bites and asked if I was hungry, seems to always happen like this. He had some crazed idea to get a new type of pizza, had some coupon or something, sounds good to me....

when I told him I was down, and that I didn't have work to worry about, plans changed. The idea that we have been sitting on the back burner for the longest time (well, not the longest - that would be the S'mores idea..) but yeah, the idea that has been more feasible just never has taken place..we were to implement that...the idea, Home Movies Marathon: Season One.

For those of you not familiar with HM, it was a cartoon, made in the same styling as Dr. Katz, aired on the Cartoon Network - Adult Swim - but like all good shows, cancelled and now has an underground cult following...

Anyways we started watching the first disc of three right around 7:30, and coincidently so did the drinking...Our plan was to take a shot of Spaulding's special mix vodka at the beginning of every show, and while we were watching we would be drinking our normal drinks. Drink of choice for us tonight was Jungle Juice - Half a bottle of Everclear and a gallon of Blue Raspberry Thirst Rockers, a new concoction for us.

We only made it through a disc and a half, so about eight out of the thirteen episodes - before Jim was ready to call it quits and go home with Maria..I think I could have kept on going, but with my partner gone it seemed pointless to continue, especially since we are supposed to watch the series together...so I guess for that reason I will have to let it slide, everybody knows my tortuous fascination with sitting through an entire series of something....ehh, anybody remember my relentless asking to sit through the bible series with me....

I made some phone calls....but nobody was answering their phones....actually two people did, the first didn't think I was drunk and the other person, who ironically said, "hey I haven't heard from you, you only call when you're drunk" also had no idea I was drunk..lame ass....

and it was an early night for me...I think a made it to bed shortly after 12, un-frickin-believable...

but I'm gonna come right out and say it, I'm not a fan of the Everclear Drunk; and my reasoning may not seem like the norm. Ok, so you drink the Jungle Juice, you can barely taste the alcohol (and in all actuality right after we took that first shot and tried the drink again, any alcohol taste had completely vanished...) - and I'm all about not tasting alcohol when I'm drinking, makes things easier, especially for the fact that it gets you faded quickly...but the actual drunk stage you become when drinking Everclear, that's what I don't like. Alright, so I know I am drunk, my body knows I'm drunk - and that actually helps my brain know I am drunk...but there's a question of if I am really drunk or not....alright, so as I said, my body is drunk, it doesn't feel right, maybe a little upset, maybe I'm slightly dizzy, hungry, struggling to walk straight kinda...but my mind, it doesn't do things drunk people would do...it doesn't get loud, doesn't get belligerent, doesn't try to hit on anything that moves....my speech isn't slurred, in fact I think it gets better and more coherent, and I'm not dong any stupid actions (like running into the blinds yelling something about the FBI and pulling out a fake gun from my pocket..)

basically what it comes down to, I don't feel sloppy...people don't know I'm drunk, there are no drunk qualities...anybody would let me drive home, but I would*kinda* know not to...I mean I would think I was drunk, but how drunk...all these other skills are fine...it's quite confusing....I wanted to feel trashed, I want to feel haggard...I don't want clear thoughts in my head as I am trying to escape reality...come on....

Coke with Lime...
coke..with lime...

yeah, just as you read it, as I said it, as the commercial stole it....

So I tried the new Coke with Lime today, and let me tell you I like it...I fully endorse it! I was a little skeptical about it, because we all remember how horrible Coke/Pepsi with Lemon or Citrus or whatever the fuck they put in it was...yeah, that shit tasted like shit..and I am not a fan of Vanilla Coke out of the can, unless it's a day old, flat and warm..but whatever, I'll give anything a try..so I opened the bottle, took a sip and wow, I was amazed in so many ways, but subtle ways... my response literally went like this..

"wow...tastes like Coke.......with Lime"

now I know that doesn't sound convincing, or maybe evens sounds stupid, but try it, and think of those other shitty concoctions they've made before...this is actually what it says, Coke..with Lime....I couldn't be happier..I have a new mixer!!!













"Coke with Lime tastes like Coke.....with Lime, amazing I know"

Party til 5...
...Ram'daguy

What an amazing Saturday we had..and it all happened because of something I shouldn't have done?

Alright, so the story goes, I slept in..and when I realized I was sleeping in, I made it official and slept in longer. I mainly had no will to actually get out of bed, no reason, nothing got me going...this the day after I talk about how I can usually convince myself to roll out of bed within those last few crunch seconds before I can barely make it and about to be late....

I think I finally rolled out around 3 or 3:30, regardless...Coinslot was still here, but they were getting ready to leave..until they read their email. the party they were going to in the region was cancelled, all plans were now as empty as Neil's hopes and dreams. Neil never wanted to do the Region show to begin with; and when things fell through at the last moments he was so angry and yet at the same time had such a burden lifted from his shoulders. He quickly tried to re-salvage plans to go to Memphis to see the Blues Clues ladies, but as fate would have it, time was not on their sides...

everybody's gone and I'm left in the house, left wondering if I should actually make an appearance at work or not. then, I see someone walking up our sidewalk and stairs...it's not Spaulding..and it's not Neil (who said he would be back in 10, but we all know how that really goes..).I wait, hear no knock; so then I open the door with the pre-planned phrase already coming out, "the doorbell doesn't work"..and as those words are being mumbled, my eyes caught sight of the greatest prospect to come from the WNDP's. That person is Chris; and no, not the fat one who used to be in Coinslot who rocked the harmonica/piano/guitar/backup singing like none other...

Chris came in and settled down, we talked, it was a good time. the punk even brought us a peace offering for not being around for so long, a bottle of wine (straight to my heart). When Pete and Jess got back, Pete instantly knew who Chris was and was surprised to see him once again, whereas Jess still had no idea who is was, saying something looked different about him - him who she remembered him. Well the only thing that could really be attributed to being "different" about the kid is the fact that he did the unthinkable and joined a fraternity...yeah, what a shame....funny thing is, he'll be living in the frathouse just down the road from us, literally one minute away walking time that is....

Neil eventually returned and was happy to see the return of Chris

S'mores...
the camp-out...

So Thursday wasn't my typical uneventful non-working day, things happened indeed.....

I'm not gonna lie, I did sleep in til somewhere around one o'clock, would have been longer too I assume had I not been woken up and the words, "god, I even gave you a couple hours before I came back over" ring through my head....

so I got up (eventually) after deciding what to eat..which was a complex, round-about process believe it or not...I was so hungry threrefore I knew I needed to eat...but I was so hungry it was clouding my thoughts, making it near impossible to decide just what to eat for breakfast...as I tried to think, the hungrier I got...made the connection, good....in the end, French Toast was the victor (those bastard Frenchies...), I suppose that'll be the only time in history those words will ever be muttered....

next was the beginning of the official camp-out day...there had been a chance idea thrown out to make yet another trek to the region, but that was lost in the wind..probably for the better, right? anyways, amber and I quickly made it our goal to get this "Night on Fire"...maybe it was just me who was really pushing for this, I slightly remember grumbling the words, "I just want to start a fire" all night and this morning...so we went outside, just ten feet from the house, and collected rocks, leaves, and twigs..

We came back inside, I grabbed this pan/sheet/whatever I got from an estate auction and we headed to the basement. next to the tent, there I assembled a miniature camp fire rock pit, it's the cutest little thing, and thus making my camping experience complete for all future nights...for the record, I'll go ahead and say making a fire, one that actually is consistently going, is quite the daunting task...I'm still not sure how to go about making a "correct" fire, but we managed to get by, being extremely ghetto and using crumpled up bits of paper after our supply of leaves and sticks burnt out...

but in the end, we did roast the marshmallows, we did make s'mores, and we did manage to completely fog up the basement - along with adding a nice woodsy-burning smell to my clothes down here...next time we will be a little bit more prepared, get more and better supplies, and move the fire to the "Coal Room"..which we haven't used for anything else...*shifty eyes*

So after that we cleaned up...I'm sure I bored my guest to tears with my endless rambling and clicking on my computer, playing random TV show tunes for her...

our next adventure was to the Brave New Deli - wherein on Thursdays between the hours of 5 and 10 they offer all you can eat homemade soup and breadsticks for $3.50 and you just can't beat a deal like that...so there it was Jim, Maria, Amber, and myself vasking in the glory that was the homemade soup and holding friendly conversations...which turned into, "would you do X for X amount of money"...yeah....this soon became the downfall of the table and heterosexuality as we know it..well, almost...

Came back to the house...discussion of "the offer" spread like wild fire and everybody had input on it, amazing...nothing amounted to it, yet, so instead Amber and I decided to play Loser, one of the best board games ever..it's quick and fun..and you find out things about the other players in a cute fashion...Amber "never loses at board games", whatever...the first game she did win, but on the technicality that I kept landing on the challanges..and in the second game the roles were reversed, she landed on the challenges and I won...same score...so who's beating who now....

anyways...Amber and I watched Go...god I love that movie..we stayed up til the wee hours of the morn and passed out in the tent like we always do..yay for today!













"It's kinda like you and me here..I mean come yesterday whodathunkit?"

WNDP22....
Comin' Back...

So this was the test to see if we could throw the switch and make things like they once were....

Alright, let me just go off on a little rant first.....people, just because the store closes it's doors at 10:00, doesn't mean you can come in ten minutes before closing, and doesn't mean because you have the entire restaurant to yourselves gives you the right to stay any longer...get the fuck out, let me get home...only on Wednesday nights..any other time, I don't give a fuck...

this will be the second Wednesday in a row I have missed the Ashlee show because of numbnuts coming into the OG as we are closing....don't they know we have already started closing up and shut most things down? whatever..I'm just mad because I don't know when MTV actually airs the re-runs of Ashlee...

so yeah, I arrive back at 412 at 11, same as last week, and people were already here, that's always a good sign to me at least...walking into a party.....

Again, the numbers were weak, I'm actually not quite sure who we were even missing to be honest..I just think we lost some of our clout, our street cred when word accidentally slipped out that WNDP's were over for good...way to build up everything only to destroy it Neil....anyways.....

but it went on regardless, which is always the plus...Neil was a little out of things, and started to not feel it early on...it's a funny interaction we two have...when he's all about it, I'm doing my own thing, usually wanting the world to die, and when he isn't into it - I do nothing but try to get him off and rally. generally, that's the only time you'll ever see me really getting down at a WNDP, is when Neil isn't quite feeling it...we work together in mysterious ways; I mean for obvious reasons, if neither of us are feeling it, there goes the whole thing, down the shitter, and lord knows I won't stand idly by and let that happen...

Neil went instantly into his defense of not feeling it because people weren't on the dance floor...so I took action, turned off the TV, turned on the party lights, and had DJ Jess workin' the tunes....after that everybody was getting down and it was like old times....

nobody ventured into the living room, people were either dancing or smoking hookah and talking in the kitchen...it was a glorious return to the right. Neil did cut out a little early, he was dead tired; I acclaimed his fatigue of him being out of shape - saying it's been a long time since we threw down on the dance floor as long as we did...

the party continued, group singings of LA LA and Since You've Been Gone, along with the crazy dancin' styles of Tunak Tunak Tun...

I picked up where Neil left off, which concluded with me laying on the porch starring up at the green light with an unashed, already smoked out cigarette hanging out of my mouth proving only to be a wrong thing to do, making me even more of an emotional wreck...I guess that is in typical Neil fashion.....

it was 2:28 when everyone left, good times were had, but the main point was that we danced like we haven't danced this year, getting us back on track (hopefully) for future WNDP's...

see you next week....