What is Love? (Part 1)

I think we all agree when we say love is conditional. but what makes us love someone? Do we love them for thier looks? for their ideas? love them in some more spiritual longing sense? Just how can a person complete you? Do you have to agree on every little thing in order to love that person? Can you not agree on hardle a thing, yet still feel compelled to live out your life with that one person? We've all heard that "opposites attract", hell it was a Paula Abdul song in the 80's, but how far along the line does opposites attract? does the song give us hope that you won't find someone who agrees with you on everythign? Is it a "take what you can get" sort of conotation? Ahh, i'm going insane trying to figure this out...ok so i asked a bunch of questions, i am in desperate need of all your input. in the mean time here's that song,just for you.......


Opposites Attract
(Oliver Leiber)

Baby seems we never ever agree
You like the movies
And I like T.V.
I take thing serious
And you take 'em light
I go to bed early
And I party all night
Our friends are sayin'
We ain't gonna last
Cuz I move slowly
And baby I'm fast
I like it quiet
And I love to shout
But when we get together
It just all works out

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Who'd a thought we could be lovers
She makes the bed
And he steals the covers
She likes it neat
And he makes a mess
I take it easy
Baby I get obsessed
She's got the money
And he's always broke
I don't like cigarettes
And I like to smoke
Things in common
There just ain't a one
But when we get together
We have nothin' but fun

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Repeat Chorus

Baby ain't it somethin'
How we lasted this long
You and me
Provin' everyone wrong
Don't think we'll ever
Get our differences patched
Don't really matter
Cuz we're perfectly matched

Repeat chorus twice

Raps:
I'm M.C. Kat on the rap so mic it
Here's a little story and you're sure to like it
Swift and sly and I'm playing it cool
With my homegirl, Paula Abdul

Nothing in common but this trust
I'm like a minus, she's like a plus
One going up, one coming down
But we seem to land on common ground
When things go wrong we make corrections
To keep things moving in the right direction
Try to fight it but I'm telling you Jack
It's useless, Opposites Attract

WARNING: This Blog is Pissy

Fuck I'm mad, very, very upset/angry, whatever
I'm hatefilled, or so I have been told
These new associates are going to face my whip next week
Fucking new associates
-------Not fucking in the sexual sense, fucking as in mother fucking god damn i hate them....
Am i selfrighteous?
george is an asshole
i wish harm/death upon people, that's not wrong is it?
i can make my tires peel out
i saw a fox by Evergreen park
if you hate/dislike/not condone actions by a group of people, why would you be sympathetic towards them if something bad haapened to said group?
Am i the one with tunnel vision, or have i been sent here to set right what once/is wrong?
They say Hindsight is 20/20..but what the fuck does that mean?
Why are there no good TV shows on anymore, and why don't tey have a set station for re-runs of the good ones???
Fuck it, i'm done, kill me now....

WHAT!?!?!

Ok, so i got another template, still in the works. one: it has to be blue, though hopefully not this queer blue, 2: i wanted a template with the archive links on the side, maybe then they will stop disappearing. b: Angry Face.

I feel like an aborted fetus, not even given the chance at life

So here are some random things that have happened so far....
1)The most crazed thing that has happened so fa is the fact that i almost burnt down my house with a piece of bread. so i made this garlic bread stuff over the weekend with my lovely brooke, and it was damn good. I had a litle bit left, but it was hard, so i thought reheating it with the melted cheese and whathve you would make it soft agian. I throw it in my Blue samsung microwave and meander upstairs for a second, come back not 30 seconds later to see that my room is filled with smoke! I make my way towards the microwave which has smoke just pouring out of it. i stop it and open it up to see that the bread had caught on fire and was burnt to a crisp. So now my room smellsreally bad, smoke was lingering in my basement for awhile. I left to go to work and forgot to leave a note of what happened...so when i got off of work, i had all these missed calls and voicemails. Lordy was my mom pissed, but she wasn't sure about what, ha. So i went home and explained everythign that had happened. She got an idea that i was doing crack in the basement from one of her online buddies.... Basement full of smoke, kinda sweet smell, and a nausiating smell on top of it. nope, just bread. the sweet smell was caused from the odor killer nuetralizing can i sprayed all over the place. well it still smells today and i have no idea how to get rid of it....any ideas???
2) on the way home last night to explain about the smoke problem i passed two lowell cops on route 2, knowing that there are onlt 2 cops on duty at night, i had free reign upon the rest of the way. so yes i did speed all the way home, whats new..but i turned onto nichols from costas road and proceeded north. as i came to the stop sign on main somethign told me to completly stop, and i did. As i got on the line i saw that one cop who likes to hang out there behind the bushes to catch people blowing the stop sign. You know what i'm talking about Zach. So luckily to my intuition or whatever you may call it, i got out of a ticket, yea me
3) well folks, i am going back for my second interview tonight, how K-Rad is that? I turned in my application and they did one interview with me on the spot yesterday! Yeah, well it looks like i might be having 2 jobs agian...now if only they payed well...well enough to have only one job? ok maybe not, looks like the hunt for the third job is still going on....
4)So yeah like i said I feel like an aborted fetus, not even given the chance at life. that's right, a fetus isn't a person, has no rights, has no feelings or emotions, and isn't truly living or alive. Damn those pro-lifers. anways..back to what i was saying....so i went to Aldi in Schererville and asked for an application. I said it was for the lowell store, then the DM told me that she has all the people filled in already for the lowell store. WTF I mean i did put in my application to have one on fill weeks ago, and went to get another one today, god damn. I didn't even get a chance to get my foot in at that place and i am already cursing it. to hell wit them, yes i said wit, i'm going to listen to Come Wit Me now, pissy ass song, gooddday...

Yeaaaaaa

Alright, the problem has fixed itself, go and comment like never before, you have no reason not to now.......

P.S. Comment or I'll kill ya...ok maybe not

Damn it...

Well as you can see, they Shout Out link is now Missing In Action. Please save your comments for when it returns, if it ever frickin' does. you might recognize that in the bottom left hand corner of the page the little warning sign is up, done with errors on the page thing, yeah, don't ask me what the fuck is going on, it's pissing me off though. oh well, i might blog later, if this thing is working, sad face

Pulling one out of the Book

Well not much has happened/is happening/ or is going to happen so i'm going to have to use one of my reserve blog ideas for today's entry. Give you a run down of my life. nothing is going on, i work, i go to work, whipdee shit, nothing really eventful happens, damn i suck.anyways here i go....
Reserve #1
Ok well George and I were at RtC, doesn't matter what day really, i mean we are there 5 out of the 7 days to begin with, and I noticed something, more or less I realized something. See, Mike and Glen were working, overlapping or whathave you, and whenever Glen would come from the back or anywhere near the front, mike would get off his can and pretend to work. Mike would even stop intermingling with the younger patrons as well. The only one enforcing any rules and discipline was Glen, he yelled at some Mexican who was filling up big 'ol soups cups up with pop to take and drink, glen told him to use a smaller normal, glass. So then it hits me, George is the Mike type manager, and I am the Glen type manager. I mean think about it. George and Mike do have this love for being amongst the teenagers. Glen and I are always bitching to our workers to get shit done and get it done right. I mean i thought glen was an ass, butI also had this liking for him, i knew something was up with him. Glen and I are both asses, but we are just trying to get the work done, and as we do that we have other peopkle like mike lally gagging around. Now I'm not saying George isn't a good manager, he just lets some thigns get away from him, such as discipline and enforcing and set of rules whatsoever. I mean you can slide with some shit, but once it starts building and or gets repeatitive, then that's enough, but maybe that isn't a big enough picture for George seeings how he likes to look at only the big picture, (Big Vs. Little pictures is another reserve so i will talk about it later.)
Well that's all for my rantings now, maybe something will happen and i'll be able to blog about it, if not, bite me

Sunday, Nothing to do on the Sabbath

Card
So i wake up this morning, around 1ish or so, and I got this E-Card and lordy was I happy. Finally some hate mail for me. Ohh how it is great to be feared and hated. Damn i smile. I truly feel loved, well hated, but yeah, you get the idea.
Brooke
So around 3 or 4, after just finishing up my shower and playing games online, Brooke comes over to say her goodbyes before she heads back to the Academy. We entertained each other for the day with stories and anecdotes. The best part of the entire get together was when we fell asleep on the couch. Now i have seen Zach and Anne sleep on the couch together and Laura and her boyfriend as well, I did not think it was possible unless you were right on top of each other, but, i was proven wrong. From where i was laying i had plenty of room, can't say for Brooke though, she was on the edge, ha. There only was one awkward moment, it was when i was dreaming and my whole body twitched, waking both of us up. She asked what was wrong, i grumbled something in my sleep and she just rolled over and faced me, and we went back to sleep. awwwww. besdies for the crazed waking up, i slept damn well and good, but we were finally awoken by the rining of the door bell from brooke's mom. we stumbled up the stairs and she departed from me.
The Leftovers
After wandering around my empty house, i started waking up and getting things together. Got online only to become addicted to some games, then the constant badgering of George. He finally requested my presence and i went to meet him at his apartment. He left, somewhat hurridly, towards the north. I don't think george had any direction, just wanted to go. up in Sherrillville, he started going to the back entrance to RtC, i told him it was way to early, somethign like 730, so we steared clear of that lane and headed further north for the land of high. Went ot Meijer for there new ad for it was sunday. Saw that lowe's was open, what the shit, how did we not know about it? anways...back to RtC we went, saw the early Sunday crowd, bunch of teenage fucks, glad we always go later. Got our crazy ditzy waitress Jamie, and yeah, well the rest is history....oh forhot to mention, i saw michelle Bates walk in and she went by our table to usethe bathroom, we conversed lightly then as she left i called Zach. While i was talking to him, Jamie the waitress grabbed the phone and statred talking to him, she gave the phone back shortyl, i started to talk with him, then he said, "give me a sec, i'm watching my movie" as he had stated earlier. Jus then Michelle walks by and i hand her the phone, she naturally asks him what's he doing, and he is starting to get mad that he can't finsih the movie, and he was so close, i just wouldn't let him, i guess you had to be there, HAHAHAHA.

Saturday in the park...

I should have stayed awake when i awoke at 930 to take my piss, but i thought since i had the day off, might as well sleep in and enjoy it, like George has been doing his entire vacation. Well then I hear this stomping around coming from upstairs, it's my mother and i know she is wearing her boots...anyways, she comes downstairs to tell me that if anyone calls for her, she's sick and asleep so she can't come to the phone right now. So i ask her where she is gonig, she gave me the one word answer i knew was coming, and headed up the stairs and out the door. So back to sleep...then my phone starts a ringing, i ignore it, then another call, so i went to the couch where my bookbag is laying whcih had the phone attached to it. Just as i get it all untangled, the hang up, grrr. So then it says i have voicemail, find out it was brooke who was pissed about something. So after taking a few minutes to gather myself and decide whether or not to go back to sleep, i finally called her. We conversed and i started growing hungry. I proceeded my way to the upstairs only to blow past the kitchen and headed straight for the compute. So as i am getting off the phone with brooke and put an away message up, my grandpa comes over, this is the second at least this week, lordy. So he offered me some pizza which eased his presence with me. He came over to sharpen the lawn mowing blade after i bitched to him about it, being bitched at from George about it, then he cut both the front and backyards. I then tried some more futile attempts on fixing my computer. After failing several times, i took my frustrated self to the working computer upstairs where i talked amongst my computer techies, aka zach. Well after conversing with him, we decided a trip to lafayette was in order. So quickly grabbing every little thing that goes with Ziggy, including the monitor, we headed off to I-65. We flew down there in under an hour, George got us lost several times, pissed me off damn well and good. Then we didn't know which apartment Zach lived in, A or B, grrr. But we called zach and everythign was good. He showed us around the apartment, very nice might i say, and started working on my computer. barcus and Zach diagnosed the first problem saying it is the power supply, as for the other problems they can't solve because they need it working. So the new PS i just got has fried out, wow. Zach proved this to me by hooking up his power supply, just the main motherboard connecter to my mother board and turned on my computer. that's when some freaky shit started happening. Zach took some pics of the craziness and we called it a day. All of his stuff was turning on along with my stuff, it was wierd. So we threw Ziggy back into Lucille and George made his way in the car, i guess it was time to go. so back to lowell we went. George was pissed the whole way back, didn't say a word, but did bitch about my speed saying, "72 would be adequate." So to please him i did around 85, what a bitch. As we got on I-65 i said i'd be in my house at 7:13, and about halfway home, I changed it to 7:14, and sure enough i walked in my door and got settled in at 7:14, crazy shit. So around Brooke shows up, what a suprise that was. Well i kinda figured she'd be in town, she asked me not to go anywhere Sat. night and told me to be back around 7 when i told her i was going to Purdue. So i was hungry, and i think she was too, so i decided to go to Wilco to get something to eat. While in thebakery section getting some bread some of Brooke's friends run up to her and tell her who they just say in the store. Well guess who was standing in line for the checkout, our ol buddy Mr. Lindsay. It was amazing to see that sight, i wouldn't have the balls to go out in public after being on th front cover of the paper for the week. The girls tried to refrain me from doing anything, but i told them i'd be good. On the way out he saw me, so i waved, i put his hand up in the air and waved back, but held it there, a sort of longing wave, all the way out of the building. the look on his face was sad, i wonder how many people and family have turned their backs on him. So then i got harrassed for waiving to him, and when we checked out even the reqister lady was mad, they said i'll be known as the guy who waived to mr lindsay, oh well. I did give Zach a call and left him a voicemail of whom i just saw in Wilco. So we went back home, made our velvetta shells and cheese and made my garlic bread stuff. Mmmm was it good. We actually had a good evening, it concluded around 1130 when i took her home. So as i was coming back through town i naturally had to stop at Goerge's,plus i had to tell him how i saw Mr Lindsay as well. So as we go out onto the porch to talk about things, we overhear this yelling. george tells me to have a seat. We come to realize it is his neighbors on the first floor having sex. God was it wrong. Good thing it only lasted for that short amount of time. After hearing silence for a couple minutes i decided to head home and put my Saturday to rest. the end

"Make like a Lindsay, and molest a child"

Yeah, well you probably all have heard now, Mr. Lindsay, the one everyone's been calling a faggot since the beginning of time, has finally been caught. I don't think this should come as a shock to anyone, he always had that fruity aura, no not an Aurora. I had him for a gym teacher, never liked him, always wanted my ass to swim even though i don't know how. Then I had to put up with him during any athletic event. Once agian, somethign has "rocked" our "little" town of Lowell. Damn I hate Lowell, it no longer can be called the "quiet, little town" it once was. Think about the past 3 years, and all that has happened. Yeah, exactly my point. And it's always the most outrageous things that happen, you can't even predict what may happen, or joke about things, because, it just could happen one day. Maybe an airplane will crash into the fields by the Lowell Plaza, maybe another huge downtown fire, maybe Aldi's will get completed, who knows...

LUCILLE

Yes, I got my car back monday, and boy am i happy, but yet pissed as well. It looked all purty and shiny, but there are some things still wrong with it, grrrrr. I will take it back to Lowell Body Shop on Friday and have them fix any repairs i request, then my bitching to other problems will go to my insurance company. Like the fact that i had a full tank of gas when i turned in the car, and they gave it to me on empty, fuckers, not to mention the ripped apart my blue light up dice, and the list continues. I'm just happy to have her. And not moments of getting in her and getting on the road, did i pick up my little sister and her friend and head northward. We tried to get to the CP courthouse by 430, but were a little late, which just made kodee pissed, not my fault might i add, we all know how I drive. :-) So in light of that we went to the mall, all was good, but i guess I'm not used to shopping with other people, it was amusing. I ended up getting a Cookies N Cream Mochochilla thingy, yea.

In the Evening...

So that same night i went to the mall, George and I went out. headed for Best Buy and Circuit City. we dined in at the lovely Taco Bell, we had coupons of course. then headed to Meijer. Something sparked the novel idea of getting an Ouija Board. George insisted that they only sell them at Toys R Us do to the contraversiality of the "game". I knew better, it's Meijer, "A million reasons, a single store" yo. They had a spot for it, but were sold out, so we headed off to the Meijer in Highland. As we get into the parking lot, a car pulls up next to us, asn we see it's Salai's Mom! Ha, well not really, but yeah, you had to be there. So we went in, got the board, and thus proceded, quickly, homeward. We used it in george's apartment, and at first didn't seem to work. Now I'm all for the thing, i believe in it as much as you can, and i not to sure on George's part, but we just couldn't get it to speak anything but gibberish. So on our last attempt we finally got one. Some guy from cedar lake, totally freaked George out, and he said,. "jason, it's enough of this shit, i think it's time to stop, don't you?", and then the cursor went to "yes", then to "goodbye", fucked with George some more. little pussy, maybe he'll grow some balls and we can use it agian, til then i have to find some "willing" people.

It's True, Dr Pepper does make the World Taste better..and on the subject of soda, You do Get what You Deserve....

Well you see, this statement here applies to Mak Funcan's case. See Mak "stole" or allegedly "stole" a pop. Whatever the deal was, he made a confession and as the result of employee theft, was terminated on the spot. There's been other problems with the said employee, the pixie stick incidents come to mind, and so forth. Now, the company from which he was employed has an agressive law firm, who want to bring legal charges against him*defendant*. You see, the defendant was "narked out" by an employee, and for that results in a reward, minimum of $200. Well the reward money has to come from somewhere, the Loss Prevention Department has a budget too, so why not get it from the fucks who caused it. So now the defendant is bitching because he feels he has paid his dues by "leaving" the company, he says he will pay for the $.99 pop which was not paid for, but doesn't see why he should pay the $250 fine. Now the law firm is not just gonig after employees, but convicted thieves as well. Basically, it's you do the crime, no matter the size, you do the time/ pay the fine. Mak and Mach want to countersue the plantiffs, but they have no grounds whatsoever. My final word is, pay the fine before it goes to court and you make the molehill turn into a mountain, with you looking like the jackasses in the end...

P.S. It may seem that i am a little harsh on the subject towards the defendant, but then agian, he bitched on and on about how he thought I, his friend, was the employee whom narked on him...to make payments for my car none-the-less.......Sorry, I didn't borrow Dewes' knife for this one Mak, but maybe seems that you have..

If you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need, is what you need what you deserve?

So this is my comment to Kristen's comment, though why even bother trying to argue whatever it is i am about to say on deaf and dumb ears, just like fighting a loosing battle, for some reason i feel the need to, call it bordem, call it a last ditch effort, the rantings of a dying man, whatever it may be, i hope i enjoy it. Basically this will be me bitching about god only knows what, pointing out flaws in her ramblings and so forth. Well here i go, wish me no luck.
**Note, you may want to open up Kristen comment as I rant along, it'll help with the flow**
So i'm a stupid fuck, well can't really argue there, i think i have been coined that phrase before so we'll just move on shall we. As for the "not wanting to have anythign to do with you", well that is the current attitude, but weeks ago it was different, so whatever it is that i have done this time has obviously changed that. The phrase "I haven't done shit to you", well I, and most others including herself at one time, beg to differ. And then what is there to be a "little bitch" about, "a little bitch about it"it, what is this it she speaks of?... Apparently i treat people like shit, therefore i get shit on by others inturn. Well i think it goes that other people piss me off first, treat me like shit first, therefore I return the favor and treat them like shit, only from me it is more noticable because i am more proficient at it. I make my treatment noticable to the point of overbearing, i do this to get my point across, that they fucked me first. I have "very little" decent things to say about people, maybe i just hold people to higher standards, maybe i was raised that way, on higher standards, not to be some fuck, and i implement it upon others. Sorry for the fact that most people are scum, can't yell at me for it. I don't expect anyone to say "decent" things about me, i hope they say, "that jason sure is a fucker", somebody has to press these people to the grindstone. I'll take work for an example, i was trained to bust my ass every minute of the job, i sacrificed many a things for the company, it did little for my self benefit, but overall it was good. I hold the ASSociates that i work with to do the same, maybe retail is for the lazy fucks, and grocery is a real man's business..... I'm a bitch, yes, hardass no, ass yes. I don't see how venting my anger out on the lazy people i work with constitues being a hardass, i am their manager, i do tell them what to do, hell, even when i wasn't a manager i still told people what to do, what needed to be done, i was knowledgable. As for relationships, ehhh, I'm good *good as in content, i'm defiantly not cocky on the subject, sorry for the mis-confusion*. I am a Golden God, yes, I am a Golden God. I really don't know what all that is, I've never thought highly of myself, but whatever, i will parade around with the title, Golden God....... If no one cared about how i felt, or what i think, nobody would visit my blog, maybe the occasional accident, but when you got people like MrMexico01 clicking on the link every half hour to see if i have updated, that tells you they are obviously intrigued and very bored, yet still visit here. George speaks of me in his blogs, links me, and Zach dedicated an entrie blogging to me and me alone, does that mean he cares, well it wasn't a pissed blog at me, just the opposite, eh who knows. And I mean hell, you [Kristen] went here, when's the last time i ranted about you in my blog's, dedicated a blogging to you *until now yes i know*, you've received very brief mentions, so i don't know what you're so pissy about. Just what are these "messes" that you so speak of. I mean obviously i deserve the messes you say, but what, prattle, are they, is it my car, yes i wrecked my car,ok? .......Alright, don't waste anymore time on me, i'm not asking you to, sorry i got you so pissy in the first place, yet you never explained what it is that i did. You can easily email me, it's listed, you got my number, you know where i live, you know where i work, you have my schedule along with yours. Well whatever it may be, it's just probably that I'm an ass....If anyone's created a mess, i think that falls into your court, you ruined a friendship, though you didn't act alone. Does everbody deserve what they get, and if so, did you deserve what you got? As for messes, you've got plenty of your own, do you get yourself into them as well, or is it a third party, anyone but yourself. are we able to learn from our mistakes, or do we just keep on making them over and over agian. so to restate my title question, "If you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need, is what you need what you deserve?" Obviously you can't always get what you want, no arguing that. But if you try sometimes, you just may find, you get what you need. So if the Stones said it, it's got to be true, right? Basically, it's not the very best, you wanted something special, more than what you needed, but ni the end, you get just enough to get you by, you get an addequate dosage, which in all reality is all we should want. We should only want what we need, but we are greedy, that's human nature, Machiavelli taught us that. but our wants are endless, are needs are more controllable, only 3 things for human life to survive right? now on the whole othe issue of, is the bare minimum sufficient enough to be what you deserve? I soo took this the wrong way, but i can make some good arguments, hell an essay for that matter, on this topic. Some people need an ass-whooping *some think me*, do they deserve it, sure, to some people. will it help detour some of the problems that resulted in the ass-whooping? ya know know really, but are there other methods, must we treat people like shit, hurt them physically and emotionaly just to teach them a lesson? here's where Zach's A Clockwork Orange can come in. But hell, I'm done ranting, tell me what you think, and maybe, just maybe I'll write something up....Zach, I think this calls for an Essay subdomain if ya know what i mean, he he. I'm off to bed, but first I got to read my Ecclesiastes 4.61 along with 9.4, "A living dog is better than a dead lion". Adios....and you never would have thought I would quote the bible, oh the times they are a changin'

"Life Sucks and So Do You, Fuck Off!!!" ~ Screeching Weasels

God does life suck....So I got ditched on being picked up for work yesterday. George just didn't come, so I slept in, not like they needed me, the truck wasn't due til Friday, so he had me work Friday, today, for the over 800 piece truck, grrrr. Hey guess what, still no car, even though today was the day it was to be mine, uh uh, got to wait til next week. Lordy was i pissed. I did go to the body shop and demand to see my car. I told the lady who called me she has the worst job possible. It was being detailed, she had the pastey look to her, but it was her, i smile. One thing that made me happy was in the body shop as i walked in i heard Zeppelin playing, then when i went to where my car was the Stones were playing, hell yeah, at least they have good taste in music, or maybe it was a sign? Tonight is Rolling Stones night, but not for me, I'm not good enoguh to be blessed with tickets, or good looks for that matter, but that's a whole other subject. So i appologize for the terrible rambles of yesterday, no structure whatsoever to my thoughts, and it was all one big ol paragraph, well actually it did break mid thoguht to a new paragraph, but that was merly an accident. From the looks of this blogging, it's gonig to be just like yesterday's, sorry agian. I messaged some person who has been reading my blog and subprofile and found out they are from highland. They use the words "yo" and "quality", now that's just fucked up. Apparently they started out reading Zach's Blog, then got to my link. They even asked me about the Jackie chick, well to quote them, "druggie chick", hahaha. My mood is, i want to see it painted black, i want to see the sun blotted out from the sky, yeah, i'm an angry fuck, well just mad, upset, emotionally distraught, physically tired, and tired of this bullshit called life. Brooke's mom and kodee my sister say me walking last night, that was a little awkward. She gave me an envolope, but not any ordinary envolope, it was a Fuch's envolope, he he. My last blogging reminded me of my Trying Manifesto thign I wrote several years ago. Maybe I'll post that up in some time. I'm glad I haven't made any plans lately, I'd be more pissed than I am. I hate Dewes. Conquest-White, War-Red, Pestilence-Black, Death-Pale. You can't always get what you want. I got my pictures back, that was good i suppose, they smelled good at least. I hada talk with my mom last night about relationships, it was weird, i was giving her advice and whatnot. Brooke's roommate is indeed a bitch. Every September/October I get into my moods where i hate my life, and like clockwork, though not orange, i want to die. would somebody please make it stop..oh shit, people actually read this, i'm not crazy, not crazier than any of you, admit it, i just want something new, i want to statr anew, ending seems so final, though at times i ask for it, maybe half heartedly i mean it, but damn, anything but this. Halloween candy finally came in, it's a little late in the year, but not too late, we'll have that out by Tuesday at the very latest. I do appreciate everybody's comments on the last blogging, thank you. Well I rambled no enough, I'm done, good day

Sympathy for the Devil

Well damn, isn't this pathetic...I've got nothing to ramble about it seems. All too often have I had thoguhts, ideas, comments, questions, and other bunches-o-crap that I say to myself, "Hey, I'll have something to blog about tonight" yet never have the time to do it, or just plain out forget what it was. When I make it home at night, whatever hour it may be, my mother is using the internet, pissing me off, delaying my time to use, to the point where I fall alseep, only to wake up the next day, forgetting everything from the day previous, and having to go to work. Nothing is happening in Lowell, apparently Zach is visiting for the day or so, maybe I'll see him. Work is work, nothing I can do about that, though I am still trying to get a second job. Through the week I've had the revelation of week timing, apparently "the first of the week" really means, Wednesday or Thursday, and then when, let's say on a Wednesday, someone speaks of "later this week", it means Thursday or Friday. Damn people piss me off, I just want my Lucille back for the 25 days that I'll still have her. I did drive by the other night and set the alarm off, little things that humor me. So now everyone and their dog is getting a blog, and we all spend our pathetic little lives on making ours, and reading others, commenting on others at times, just to see how much everyone's lives suck compared to yours. Then there are the people who asy they have no time, yet their name is always online, or others who blogs just suck who spend all day online unidle. so yesterday was September 11, and what did you do? with a little more information and better planning, I may have been burning a flag. you know, I'll be as happy as peach pie when in three years we all will have forgotten about the Terrorist attacks. It happened, people died, whoop-dee shit, let's move on, America isn't as great as ya'll thought now is it? And another thign, why don't people comment? I mean I know who is visiting my blog, I have a tracker on it, but it's the same people over and over agian, not to discourage those who do comment, I love you Zach, and thoguh George you smile too much, your comments are appreciated as well.
So yeah people, when you read, i know you have things to say, there's this thing at the bottom by my name, it says, "Shout Out" and you click that and then you can comment, it takes but 30 seconds for the whole task. And you only have to fill out your name once, it remembers you each time you comment, wow. So tomorrow is Friday the 13th, I have the night off, the Rolling Stones play at Comisky Park, I don't have tickets. I would have liked to see them play, one of the few remaining groups that I could stand watching. I've only been to one concert, last year, Illinois State Fair, Bob Dylan...yeah, we all know how that went. I want to see the Stones, I looked for tickets online, ebay, i am even so tempted just to drive up there and buy some scalped tickets on the spot, just to get in the doors. My computer is still without it's power supply, damn well sent that thing in 4 weeks ago, i guess time is one thing that is defianly NOT on my side. It's not that I'm impatient, nor have instant gratification problems, it's just that I get dicked around. Lucille would be the excellent example of this,...if you're told one time table, and then are given a totally different one that is more than twice as long, dropped onto you at the last minute, then yeah, you'd be pissed too. And guess who else is going to be in town tonight, Vince Wagner, with is lovely bride Elizabeth, well girl partner person, yeah. And guess what else, they have tickets to the Stones concert for tomorrow. Can life rub my face in shit any more? I'm sure it can, and I'll be waiting. It seems that's the only thing I can do, wait. I'm waiting for Lucille, have been for the longest time, waiting for my power supply so I can boot up Ziggy 4 agian, waiting for my life to get on track, though that may be forever, waiting for my failures to come to me, yes that's the one. Waiting for my failures to come to me, repeat that phrase, I may not know what my failures will be, when they will come, or to what effect they will have, but I'll be waiting, maybe not ready to handle them, but ready for their arrival. It's kind of like "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best", but the exact oppoiste maybe? Preparing for nothing, which could be good, nothing bad happening is always good, things keeping on track, on pace, on rountine, is good. Hope for the worst, not true out hope for the worst, just think ahead, think what could be the worst, all the possible failures. by thinking out ahead of time what may fall through, orcrap out on you, that is planning in itself. when it does happen, it won't be a shock to you, you've already seen it coming, you knew what was gonig to happenm, how it was gonig to happen, and what your future reactions will be. You'll be able to handle it better, and be able to take on the next downfall. My night tonight will consist of a car-less evening, sleeping, and god knows what else.
P.S. Yes I know Tuesday's entry is just 4 dots, I wanted to cheat the system and make a mock posting to get the timestamp of Tuesday, then blog a little bit later of the day's events. Well it backfired on me, and I never got to blog about whatever it was I wanted to blog about. So I'll leave it, for all to see, in my archived history of Bloggdom, yeah whatever

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Festardo

So work started off slow as can be, but before you knew it, it was already 5:30 and we hadn't even began counting down. Some humor was brought on to the day, the ALCO photos came in yesterday, but we just got around to seeing them today. Many a great pics were in there, the night Donna almost killed Justin, the adventures with a steam roller, the best damn pissing wall a grand opening had every seen, and plenty more. *I smile* So it was a crazy/busy day, my best cashiers Kelsey and Rachel were on top of things, he he. I broke their knife virginity and showed them how to cut open boxes, gave them a personal tour of the law-away room, and helped out with other things. Travis was busy pissing off George, and Mike F was busy keeping up conversation with himself. Then my mom and grandpa walk in, i could hear my mother talk from aisles over. then she argued with me over some clearanced merchandise, i ended up tellinhg her, " you know what, that item is still in our store, it's not for sale today" a legal loop-hole i learned along the way. Some nearby customer heard me and probably thought i was an ass, which really i am, but anyways. My Stack-O-Pop was getting kinda low so I had to buy some while they were still on sale this week, only to find out Meijer has a better sale going on, $1.97 for a 12 pack, oh well, such is life. We got out of work at 630 and headed up north to the Land of High. Walked around Meijer, saw the poor coke lady filling coke agian, i think she's been there for the past 2 weeks, the sale just won't end and she can't go home. I bet they pull up a new semi for her and drive her empty one away. So until the Meijer crazed coke sale ends, this poor delusional woman can't go, maybe we should start a fund for her or something of the sorts, a support group would be nice. So we make our way over to good ol RtC, and I'm thirsty as all hell.I asked for my coke no ice along with my refill for it, it's a good thing too, our refill quota just wasn't being filled, no pun intended. Jami did salvage the night, she leaned in with us at our table, talked to us for a bit, and gave me my butterscotch pudding with extra whipped cream pilled high and a cherry on top. I continued to eat my fries that camew with my "Chicken Parmesan Sandwhich" with no onions, but instead had green peppers and no sauce, what the shit. I did have J* mi take it back, but they said that's how it comes and added some sauce for my bitch ass. She asked if i have ever ordered it and i replied with yes, all the time, it is my regular. Anyways, so I'm eating my fries, not finished with my meal so i can't start my dessert, and Jami comes by and gives me a sad face because i haven't touched the pudding. So i made a little note in ketchup, not blood this time but it did bring back memories, on the plate saying,"thank you, with a smiley face" She was so happy by this she went running around the restuarant showing everyone, even mike. I ate the pudding, she said i had made her night better, i told her to get some rest, seems as if everyone is getting sick or something at RtC, and headed off. i get into George's truck and I notice that in fron of us is a girl, not any girl, but FishGirl. Hahahaa, so I laughed and pointed this out to George. Only moments later i realize that her license plate says, "FishIV I" Oh lordy did this make my night, I screamed so loudly that i think she heard me and we took off, but i did get a picture of the license plate, of course. So we went home uneventfully. Get home, get online and Joe Stefek seems to be in a pretty pissy mood. Apparently i warned him for not being idle and he went nuts, so when you see Joe online, send a kiss from me throguh you to him. thanks.

P.S. It's now custom that George rips ass on all new associates....isn't that right Kelsey??? Hahahaha, I laugh

P.P.S. Festardo is a word i thought i heard George say, when in all actuality, he said bastard-o, well i like saying it, with an italian accent of course....definition to come later

Walking's a Bitch

Well basically nothing happened, I worked my 8 to 9 shift-er-oo. I was all to myself in my food plan-o-gram, got to build shit, tear down shit, it was fun, and it took my all day. I had some help at times, Kelsey Brown and later Nate. Gave some reviews on the new associates, nice little power trip. A hell of a lot o trees came, i don't smile George.
*sidenote...George, do you really have to put "i smile" in everything? jesus fucking christ yo! you don't smile, ass.*
Ok so where was i..hmm, people anger me, new associates are getting off too easy, and I have to be the one to crack the whip around here. the only one running a tight operation at night is my bitch ass, when george works he lets too much shit fly, and he WONDERS why the kids are lazy, good for nothing fucks. Another ASSociate that lets thigns go is Tony-fucknig-K. But that's a whole different argument entirely. Then of course the harlot who pissed me off last night, also worked tonight. Grrr, and then people commenting on my pissy-ness only made things worse. It's Saturday and these broke ass people want their checks early, I'll be damned if i am cashing them. Then Jenanne high as a kite comes into the store, she's the only person left that questions my reign upon the frontend, i can't wait til the day she's gone, fucknig up tight, whiney-ass day cashiers, fuck up my routine, ha........ok so at the end of the night i wished everyone to burn in hell, grabbed my book bag and walked home from ALCO. Yes i know my house is over 3 miles from ALCO, and yes my bookbag weighs a fucking lot, but god damn i was pissed. Made it back to my hosue in 45 or so minutes, took my shower, and i was beat. For one it was hot, then i had my hoody on with hood up, and my heavy ass backpack, so yeah, i was a little tired.I chatted with brooke til all ends of the ngiht then fell asleep, luckily not on the phone with her.
P.S, Where were Duncan and Barcus, we were all supposed to do somethign sat night, but I did not hear one word of them, looks like i get ditched agian.

Fucking Fridays....

So I had the day off today, but I wanted to be nice for a change and decided to wake up at 8 and help unload the truck. Well that was fine and dandy, and I went back home at 10 to sleep my day away. Just as I get into a deep sleep, that F'er George wakes me up and tells me to come into work. Grrrr. So I go back to work at 4...I guessthat was ok, not like I had anything planned, I'll be damned if i go to the football game, but anyways...Worked sucked tonight, the two biggest goof-offs were worknig tonight, well the play around when they work. Travis is the instigator, while Mike L is too busy talking about my sister. I gave them their one week reviews, my highlight, and also did some bitching at them. I was basically to myself the whole night, doing my damned clearance letter, which caused a huge black magic marker spot on my favorite grey/gray sweater. On top of all that *no pun intended* Kristen worked tonight, first time I have "interacted" with her in weeks, though i said but 7 words to her tonight, it'll be tough tomorrow when i have to work with that *insert bad word here* tomorrow night, with my 8 to 9 schedule. Ehh well if anything happens i'll blog about it.
P.S. I got a call about Lucille, they appoligized for their neglagence, and maybe I'll see her next week, but haven't I heard that before???

No Truck???

So as the title reads, no truck today.Yeaaaa, or wait, boooo, that means we'll be a day behind. well fuck. So i decided to come in late today, no reason to be on time with 3 other managers being there, and work a partial day today, and come in to help the truck unloading tomorrow. For dinner tongiht George and I threw a deep dish pizza in the oven. sounds good doesn't it? But when the deep dish piza is nothing but cheese, no meat, it ruins the evening, lordy did it suck. And i was so frickin' hungry too, so i ate about half of it, complaining the whole time.....on a lighter note, brooke is extremely pissed off at me, something about my profile, me loving kodee more than her, taking thigns too seriously, ahh who knows. All i know is that i get bitched at for everything, such is life, i am used to it. So i talked to Kodee online last night as well, yeah, she's my sister if you haven't figured it out, a sister, i love her as if she weer my sister, not as a fuck buddy or anything else you can come up with. Hry, growing up your whole life devoid of family can be a tramatizing experience. I now have a sister, a sister who claims she is my sister back, none of this me crazed ambition calling someone a random thing wherein they know nothing about it. Oh lordy i am ramblnig now....ok, so I'll blog tomorrow, I'm getting me some sleep. AP

P.S Thank you ZACH for commenting on my blog, i love you. As for everyone else, why? As for the person who didn't leave their name, thank you for your constructive criticism, but please leave your name from now on.

Take that Archives...

Ha, so after some confusion, and loosing everything, and getting depressed, just a little tinkering with it all brought me luck. Yup, I now have all my archives there to be adored. So go ahead, look, one day I'll make it look pretty like Zach's, too much for one day already, and while you're enjoying some old posts, making some comments yo.

ALRIGHT!!!!Finally something I'm happy about

Ok, so i Finally got comments, took me awhile, but thanks to Zach agian, I love you, we got it working. It's the thing called "shout Out" at the bottom of my postings by the time and such. Pleeeeeeease i am begging you to go back to any bloggings and post a comment, yes, back post for me and I will be ever so happy. and well, make posts for future blogs to i suppose. anyways, yes, i'm a golden god, that is all.

Tuesday...Blue yeah

Ok, start off my day with Brooke visiting me...interupting the very end of my shower, luckily i was finished. we ate lunch and talked for a bit, then i had to go to work. not even at ALCO 3 minutes and the entire front end, softlines, and operations department are having a war. Phyllis is pissed, so pissed that she told me she was gonig home right at 330, she ddin't care. Sharon's bitching because becky is register back up this week, and sharon needed someone to help in softlines. Donna and i were finishing the showcases and were adjusting everythign there, lordy it was crazy. But life went on and things got better. George had to get his market plan finished today because mr. mathis will be grading him tomorrow, so he was in a little panic all day..not to mention had a burn mark by his eye that he refused to tell anyone about. So Mike L. worked agian, this time his attitude had changed, now he was making comments on how hot my sister is, asking for her phone number and everything. I warned him that if he thought i was ever an ass before, he couldn't imagine how much of an overprotective ass i am about my sister espsecially when she's in the cheerleading outfit. >:o Kelsey Brown overheard this and took offence to it, then i explained my sister was a cheerleader and that lceared everything up. Thog she was confused when i said who my sister was, she was like, "not kodee morgan?", and i said, yup, sure is, and she was all "i never knew". It's fucking fucking with the new people...though i think kelsey may have caught on by the end of the night.

P.S. Everyday I get a call about Lucille, but still they have no idea as to when I'll be seeing her agian.......I miss her :'(

Monday..Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Sister....

Alright, an all-dayer at ALCO on holiday pay. Saw some of the parade, but due to it's starting in 8 different places, we really didn't see much. Then it started raining, ha i laughed at the poor souls that had to actually walk in the parade. So the weather-retail-player that i am, quickly ran and got all the umbrellas and ponchos i could find and brought them to the front. Boy howdy did they go qucikly, hehe. I did at one point have to venture out in the rain and got an up close viewing of the parade, the reason for this was my sister was walking in the parade right in front of ALCO and she wanted that i see her . So my day went on after that, the parade ended, the sun came out, la la la. So 6 o'clock comes and decide to head out on my break over to wilco to get me some grib, when in comes my sister. I had to stay in the store with her to make sure she got my 10% employee discount and to let everyone know she is indeed my sister. So Mike L., a new hire, makes a comment to me somethign along the lines of, "Hey Jason pimping it", and i turn and yell at him, "that's my sister yo!", he then felt bad about it. So alter as I am eating, he comes up and appologizes for his comments. Then he tries justifying that he only saw a glimpse of her and such. Then I ask him how old does he think she is, and he said a college girl, but the cheerleading outfit threw him off. Then I yelled to him, "It said LMS on her vest!!!" Then agian with the Oh My Dad appologetic face. Yeah so that was fun. Another highlight of the night was when I found a button of some kid in a baseball outfir in a cart i was pushing. I grabbed it and pinned it on me as if he were my own, then that's when it started this huge custody battle. nicole claimed he was her kid, I said he was at least half of mine, and it went on all night like this, we weer coming up with names and everything, insanity...

Dinner and a Movie

So last night was pretty interesting....Well I finally made it home from work at 330, lordy was I dragging, and was hoping to get 2 hours of nap time in. I called Brooke to see when she was coming over so i knew for sure how much time i had. She told me thatdue to other plans we wouldn't be able to meet on Sunday, so I would have to cook my dinner for her tonight, damn, i hate late notices, so i said fine, i was so unprepared it wasn't funny. So i instanly got off the phone with her and starting going at it, making lasagna. Now the thing here is that I have never cooked anythign in my life before, and I was trying to make lasagna from scratch. All in all it went pretty quickly, and wasn't hard to make at all. I had George doing some finally running around town to get the everso needed ingreediants for me. Thanks. Jus tas i was done throwing it all together brooke showed up. I slapped it into the oven and started her off with the viewing of Reservoir Dogs. I hopped into the shower, the much needed shower, especially after work and now cooking.Came out, watch the movie a little more, and decided to check no the dinner. Ii was about finished so I got the garlic bread all made and threw that into the oven as well. Got out the dishes, lit some candles, it was nice. I called her up when it was done, and cut a slice for her. Now here's my mistake, I didn't let the lasagna set for the 10 minutes it needs to, I forgot all about, and henceforth had runny lasagna, not too runny, just saucey, yeah. It was good though, and the garlic bread was fucking awesome. Afterwards we went back downstairs and finished watching Reservoir Dogs . After that, more entertainment with my reading of "The Blue Day book" Lordy do I love that book. So after that I gave her my second suprise, she loved it, then things went downhill..............