Re-Capping Your Ass...

Wow, another year has passed, good goff, it's already becoming a new year and I am still waiting for Christmas to get here, tells you how far I am behind on the times...so another year turns and what are we left with, just the memories of the year before, this is a re-cap of whatever happened in the year 2003 (crappy number to begin with...) and it could never be as great of a year as 2002 was, look at that recap..this one fails hardcore in comparison....

So after spending the New Year's all alone, this year got off to a very shitty start, which was just a forewarning of what was to come...2003, The Fall of Jason....

My posts were lacking in the beginning of the new year, and wasn't like the paragraphed shit I am producing now, so it is shit to read, but I'll do my best....New year came, then the first post came seven days later. Alco got a pepshit machine crushing all love for that place and beginning the destruction of me. ALDI opened, same day as inventory for ALCO, I still yet to go into the store... Rounding out that month was a somewhat hiatus across Indiana with trips to many a different places and me being a Karma Whore of sorts...

February brought a greater downward spiral unto my life, loosing what I valued most left me with many posts on the subject and pain...danced for favors, mother fucking BIGGS trip wherein we almost died, and just questioning everything, like where did I put my...

So then March rolled in, and despite the lies I still made my efforts, attempts, and trips to Muncie to see one certain person...one more month is all I thought was left, it's what I had always figured on, whodathunk I'd make it past 20...my bad dreams started here...things were getting worse, the bottom was giving way.... one last plea for my lovely....

April came and I turned 20, yippie....professed some more love to a sticky keyboard....more questions arose, but this about the past, or lack thereof, history deleted so nobody would know...but you can't rid that gut feeling...

May Daze, Wizard of Oz was performed at LHS, one of the several plays I saw that year..my gas posts started, damn the price changing bastards.....loosing sight and family ties weakened.. Gianotti at RtC and TPing all in one day.... I passed my real estate course with flying colors, I was on my way..to the ending, and went along with this post cursing my current job...and I suppose part two as well....... and there's nothing like a trip down to see some of your buds and sing "Tangeled Up in Blue" in the bathtub....

Brooke came back from her Strom Chasing across the midwest and we started spending time together....maybe too much..but that's all hearsay...my house went up on the market, the move was inevitable....I made an audio post...I suppose air was the highlight...the Asian Tony himself started making contact with me, and we spoke many a times during the summer months, trying tunderstand what it was all worth...he praised me many a times with my "great" ramblings...and who could forget getting carded at the R rated movie???

Great post to start July off with, though I don't think it was true....shot off some fireworks for a lonely fourth...the first of my posts to have multiple links, and to top that off it reached not only double digits in comments, but went for 22, good goff...shit hitting the fan crazy ideas....my slump began early, or premature some might say, added to the fact it was brought on by something that happened out of cycle...do you believe in love?? And the Asian man brought a close to the month of July with his visitation down to see me, then down to zach's after getting a snub at the county fair...

the Begining of my realization of my lifely irony...a stop at the virgin mary proved to be helpful for an elderly lady who crashed her car the night before, turning the world Cohen, one step at a time..And then the conspiracy thoughts ran through my head some more with a weirdo number calling my cell phone, hey, I'm a paranoid schizo, go figure....the computer, Ziggy 4 started dying...people started requesting their voice to be heard in my blog, so I had to make special arrangements to do just so, see it here...and this is just funny, it does have only so many clicks....and the 16th marked a one year anniversary for my blogging, go me keeping on track and such...and with a last ditch effort, I decided to give it my all, which proved not to work out so well...vince and I started our band with a concert tour kickoff of sorts, we grooved in all parts of Indiana that day....and my move out of the house along with saying "goodbye" to my mother, and the ending of all ties to her....and end the month with an outing, not a date..

And of course September, who doesn't love September, that's when my geniusness reaches its apex only to leave my depression cycle to begin..basically most of the posts in September have some underlying depression to them, so I'll spare youthe trouble....Kristen got married...my first news broadcast...give me your silence and your still giving me something, and results in a post...We sad our good byes to Johnny Cash and John Ritter, sad indeed...trip to terre haute, and more driving..and this is the month were I began posting like a mother, definitely the longer of archives..I won baptismal for someone who didn't know better and danced DDR style...my dreams started up again...one of my saddest days, why why why...billy's love affair ended, sad sad...a story to tolerate....I guess nothing too extravagant happened in Zeptember, but there was a lot of posts..damn

Green Wednesday was invented, online blog/comment fights ensues...still like this post, probably because of zach's comments defending me...the infamous and long waited exchange, turned deadly twice, but resolved at the end....last post, yeah right....depression hitting harder...girls..that's all I'll say...billy had a heartattack...then accusations of people fuking with my shit, if not you, then who??? more bad dreams...scary similarities...and that was about it for October, little things happened, but depressing sat in quickly, life sucked and I was still confused with everything, what is my place...

nothing like starting the month off with my double pumpkins..hell yes, lady through them out the window just recently though...my darkest post ever to date...mixed emotions...my computer got up and made me happy...threats were made at the school, but kriske has an alibi...ok, this is just obliterating, but she wore a skirt for me...she made the cut for this post...fuck you bruce....god, one of the greatest road trips possible, I completely loved it , long and enjoyable, too much to type, read it...even likes to kill me slowly...sweet...the holidays begin now....my realization and actually posting of something significant.....istarted wit my quoting phase in this month, good stuff really, if now I were only able to break it down and archive it like zach does....love actually the first time and a road trip that was...good enough....I made a lot of posts this month pertaining to my sanity, or lack thereof, in any case it probably wasn';t for the best....and then you got shopping the day after thanksgiving...

Which brings us to the last month, good ol December..or isit really? one a day posts were my newest thing, keeping you updating on any ol thought that came to mind, it's funny to think about it, when you first start off you don't know what to put, and things like I post now would seem meaningless, pointless to post,but you grow out of that, way to go me...snowball fight at target, hell yes snow....news coverage from the war front...yeah that little debacle was just crazy..and is still going on right now, lord only knows what will happen next...uh oh, the truth coming out...ccan you make out what is going on.....Saddam wasn't caught, it is fake, yeah me and my conspiracy theories...the beginning of my posting marathon..good goff....11 in a row, 12 for the day, wow.....only to e followed by the infamous letter to god....Christmas dinner with the baiel's, one of my family's, yay I feel loved...hurrah for Christmas...day one, day two, day three all with Brooke....causing me to post this one here...

and so there you go, and the last link of the year, yeah....I know I am forgetting things, still can't top last year, but the depression came harder this year, the winter is colder, I am homeless and all isn't well....next year?

I'm crying and I don't know who I can call....

Raving Quotes.....

I was gathering up people, talking up the New Year's Festivities, or lack there of them, for this year....and the first few people I spoke to all had their girls with them, Vince & Elizabeth, Zach & Anne, Dewes & Michelle,..so then dewes asks who am I bringing, "who's my date", I questioned the necessity of a date, but he explained, and then I was left with trying to think of someone...and then he said, "I have faith in you" speaking of obtaining a date, I questioned him even more, my ability to just randomly have a girl with me as my date in two days, it's me here..but anyways back to thinking...

so who should be my date? there was a comment made about bringing a certain someone, dave said he would love to see it happen, and i would love to see the pure irony that this would be the first new year's we had ever spent together and we wouldn't be together for this one, ha, I laugh..but I know she has plans....looks like another new year's alone, depressed....

Baby Quotes....
No Not Dead Baby Jokes....ok maybe a couple.....

So I was working at Target last night and was talking with this girl. it started out about getting furniture for her apartment, a single, moving out of a 2 bedroom shared with 6 people..and so on, then she mentions it'd be just her and her kid...when I responded with..
"so, what was the impulse to get a kid?"
then she said back, "it wasn't an impulse, just an accident" yeah she's 20 with a year and a half child, so yeah, impulse no, accident/mistake yes..but I thought it was funny how I said impulse because it was the first thing to come to mind...imagine, impulse to describe having a child, haha


ok, and here we go..

Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.

Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.

For more, go here, but I'll save my best for a more in person deliverance, god that is wrong....

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions...
The Flood Gates Have Been Opened...

Why do I do this to myself? This outcome couldn't be any better than the other route I'm sure. Either way you're still stuck with a problem, I guess you just have to weigh it all out...And even when I do decide which path I want, why is it that I find myself in the wrong lane going in the opposite direction. Something leads me to my demise every time, and I know it's not my brain I'm trusting, though you would think "he/it/whatever" would have some say in it, some voice...but then again it did, and all was well, the plan was working, maybe not to par, but it was working just fine and we were making it....but now look what you did, you went against everything we fought for, in one instance you threw it all away..and for what, to have this again, to feel like this again. Look we already went through all this in September, now's the time we start anew. And it's really funny, oh yes, how you can say all these things, saying how it's going to get better, implementing your ideas, only to backpedal your way to the beginning. I wouldn't necessarily call it wimping out, but it's definatly something. When will it end? Why is this such a powerful force that leaves you crippled every time. I'm in awe of the power and what it does to you, I don't know whether to look pitiful upon it or praise it for it's pure greatness...but I suppose there's a little bit of hate to love, or love to hate, heaven to hell, sweet and sour. And even if I could stop it, do you think I would? I mean you know what I've been doing, how I've tried to correct things, and you see how it all unfolded and gave out with one instance. Like I said, either path I choose I am going up the creek without a paddle and I'm damned that I don't know how to swim. The paradox that is my life...So do I continue to torture myself, put myself through these brief moments of bliss only to be left like a mangy dog in a dumpster, only for that bit of happiness I once knew and now desire. The short effect the sweet has on me is enough to overpower even the worst of sours I suppose. The cycle just repeats...and I'm content with it....

On the Third Day...

Well this wasn't a full day with Brooke, rather it was just lunch, only 2 hours or so...her extended family was there, nice group of people, i feel significant being around them, though current situation only allows for uncomfortablinty in myself, but's that me, who am i to impress. you know i can't say much really happened in those two hours, you got me...i gave brooke back her red shirt along with a bag of black & white M&M's, but the toils of my labor are futile, once again disappointed myself rather than her, i think she enjoyed the gesture..whatever....so why am i typing this up, what significance does any of this have, probably none to nobody else, but i didn't want it to end that quickly, i guess i didn't want to say goodbye

Target: Special Ops..

Yeah, as you may have just read in my last post I said I went to the warehouse last night, and in fact that makes two nights in a row....but no I'm not the new warehouse bitch, I'm more of what you may call a "cleaner" or "cleanser" or "problem-fixer", or hell, just special ops...

whenever there is something major that needs to get done, something important, something needed quickly, who do they call in...me, that's right, me.

When the four electronics pulls were over ten hours long who did they ask for help....when they rearranged and reorganized the stockroom who did they ask.... when it was July and inventory time came who was asked to be on the prep team.....when we are short handed in the backroom who does the double truck by themselves....and most recently, when the warehouse had 20 pallets of transition that needed to be backstocked, who did the call in....

yeah, those are all me...so yeah, I guess I'm somewhat of a special help to them, when the shit hits the fan they just need to push that emergency button and here I come...at first I'd think I was loved, but then I quickly realize it's just me being used again

Is It September????
Because I feel like it....

Last night was interesting, yeah i worked at Target as always, but it was different, in a special sort of way....

so I was had to go to the warehouse (post to come in a minute....) and so it was stacey k, andrew, and myself spending the entire night there basically...and stacey and I got to talking, boy let me tell you, it was something...I went through and was able to recap two years worth of events in just a couple hours..she probably got more than she expected, but then again I left out a lot of details as well.....

but what I'm getting at is the point of it was nice to finally talk to someone again, about things...I haven't been able to do that in awhile or so it seems, maybe only a couple months, and maybe I haven't really needed it as of late, alright from time to time yes, but overall not really, not until the past week I'd say...

and you know the funny thing is, no matter who I talk to, no matter what spin I put on it, everybody's response is the same...hell I don't even know what the point of me talking is anymore, I know what the answers are..but I think it's for others to figure out and search for...I guess retelling everything is helpful, makes me remember things I had forgotten about, but then again, that isn't a good thing at all...

so why must it be that I ignore the advice of everyone, even myself...and even when I start to think about it and follow through, I always give up on it, I turn my back on myself, I disappoint everyone, but I think it is expected by now and for what...nothing at all

I hate my life and my writting inability, the end. damn

Two Days Straight.....
Double Dosage

So again I was with Brooke, she called seeing if I was up to anything, of course I wasn't, so I went over to get pick her up..I wasn't doing anything was I? And of course my ass statement of the night was, "probably would have been better if would have just cut our winnings yesterday and called it quits..." that kinda gives you the idea of how it went....

let's get this out, I don't try to be an ass to her, I don't do things on purpose to make her angry, why in the hell would I want that..an angry Brooke is not a friendly Brooke, I try to appease everyone, especially her....So I'm sorry if I made you mad, once an ass always an ass?

well in the midst of the making her upset and this and that we traveled up to merrillville, drove around but our indecisive asses couldn't findanythig to do, we did, however, go to the mall for a quick run around, but then it was back to her house.....there things started to settle and by the end of the night I think it was better. not much happened there, we watched the ferret run around and then trading spaces marathon..but the night ended abruptly when I had to leave for work, always the case right.....I

A Day with Brooke.....

Whodathunk I'd ever use that title again..though one word is still missing, I'll deal with it, but this is an account for the day's events, enjoy...

so I finally caved with my stance of not getting together with her over break, she gave a convincing argument, or I just have no balls, whatever the case may be, call it a Christmas present for her of sorts I suppose..anyways we decided to meet up at the Wendy's in Sherrillville for lunch..this was at 1:40 or so....we ate, and spent two hours in there talking..yeah there were awkward moments as well, but that's normal...there was a chase scene out in the grass of the parking lot that went on for sometime, nice run around game of I stole your keys sort of thing...and you know the first thing that came to my mind when I caught her *~@flashback@~* to a time long ago, back when I worked at costas, and the battle for the bananas....

after eating we didn't want to just call it a day right then and there, so we decided to try and see a movie, not the word try....we went over to showplace and came to the realization there wasn't crap playing, yet the parking lot would have made you think otherwise..so then it was to AMC in Merrillville....this was the first SNAFU of the evening...the problem occurred when we arrived at different time at the parking lot..I got stuck in traffic but was ahead of of Brooke, so when she arrived, she got there before me, but had the impression I should have been there...and to top off the confusion she had earlier stole my phone and I'd forgotten all about it, so I was thus unable to call and communicate what was going down....I eventually got to a payphone after waiting outside for over 20 minutes, I guess we just missed each other too she leaves as I enter...

so we finally met up after the call and headed to best buy to use the bathroom (we both had to go since wendy's..) barcus was working and I chatted with him...he sold me on a new phone in the process as well...funny thing we saw brooke's stepbrother nick there as well, random....so we had some time to kill before our movie started so we decided to go "eat" at TGIFriday's....the waiter sucked so that stirred the waters a bit, but things got better...then it was off to the movie, "Love Actually" good good movie, I recommend it to anyone...

so then at the end of the movie (ending at ten) I brought Brooke back to her car in the AMC oarking lot( we saw the movie at lowe's, I know, hard to follow..) but another problem came about, I was supposed to work that Friday night and therefore needed a red shirt, and you know me, I don't just wear red for any ol reason except to go to work in..but luckily Brooke had on a Brand New shirt on (not brand new, but the group brand new, though I am assuming it was brand new..anwyays) so I was allowed to borrow that and the night was complete, but that also meant another encounter will occur, there was a long hug given, and then a kiss on the cheek.....and we parted our ways..and yes I had to fly to work because we were back on the old schedule since Christmas has passed....

So if there's any doubt, there's still the one person who has the power to make me drive anywhere to see her, see a movie twice, see a movie in the theater twice for that matter, and make me late to work..on a double truck day as well..and she still thinks I hate her.....

"Last Christmas"

[Chorus:]
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
(whispered) Merry Christmas,
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
and meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

[chorus]

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
Oh my I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A girl under cover but you tore me apart
You tore me apart, ooo-ooo
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

[chorus]

A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A girl under cover but you tore me apart
[Spoken] Maybe next year,
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.

Merry Christmas to All And to All a Goodnight....

You know, the holiday season is the greatest time of the year, think about it..and the commercialization of the birth of jesus makes it all worthwhile. Stop for a second, do you think a greater part of the population would be able to get by these cold, dead winters if there wasn't a filler in there, like all these "holidays"? Temperatures drop, people shut themselves inside, nothing moves in the dead of winter, others fight to stay warm, birds flock south, other animals hibernate, everything is bleak and depressing. But wait, then comes a little something to make life a little more worthwhile, enter the holidays. To think, this is the one official time of the year where world peace is sought by all, those bell ringers are annoying, but this is the only time of the year where they can be acceptable, and hell people give money to them as well. Familys get together, people share in the love of each other, and on one special day people exchange gifts they bought for each other....do they deserve these gifts, are we forced to get them because of some social stereotypical event..whatever the case may be, everyone gets gifts...people open up their hearts to a lot more people at this time of year. Customers fill the shopping malls across America, boosting sales (something along the lines of a 3% increase, which may not seem like a lot, but this happens for weeks at end, and take Target's normal $100,000 days and times that by three, there you go, that's the holiday season for you....)as I said, boosting sales, creating jobs, keeping a standing economy, all is good...

And just why do we do this? some may think it is because we are celebrating the birth of the son of the creator...yeah, maybe that's why it was done before, but now-a-days people could give less a crap about it..alright, some may still do everything in his name, but as for everyone else, we do it because it is the standard, it's traditional, no matter what religion or belief you have, the holidays are for everyone to spread the love that is in their heart. it's a time of giving, sharing, loving, in a way, spreading the warmth to go over the numbness of winter. so yeah, do it to stay alive, to keep joy in everyone's soul, do it because it is commercialized, thank the heaven's for it, everybody should share in the warmth and love of each other, it's the holidays....

enjoy

Day Before Christmas....

So what happened the day before Christmas...not much really. I woke up late, starting off the day poorly, but I didn't take much of that wind, so I went about without. I avoided the family, but to honest, I don't remember if my grandma said Wednesday or Thursday at 5...I mean people would think Thursday, but out family always celebrated on the eve, long story I'm not really sure why to be exact...so yeah I didn't show up in illinois, I think my mother was even up, ehhh whatever....

well I did go out to hallmark and purchase my grandparents a card, I haven't the slightest what to have gotten them, so a card will suffice..made a stop into alco to see everyone, what a crowd was working, and after that drove by the clapp's to yell obscene things at her as she played basketball...

well I got there, and she had just finished playing, but upon the sight of me driving round she got out. we ended playing a little one on one, damn it's been too long since I played ball I thought. But anyways I won both games, I'm just a badass I suppose. yeah she lost, and she's a sore loser, I was getting fouled like a mother too..I suppose I should have let her win, I mean she is a girl, but I can't lose right?

after that Madeline fed me, she's good for that...I think that's about 12 in a row now, something like that.....food was good, crap I just realized I didn't finish my hot chocolate, crap...afterwards I wrapped presents for Toni because she hates to wrap...and I, the eminem of gift wrapping, get a kick out of it so I was more than happy to oblige....we started to watch pirates of the Caribbean and then Vince called, so it was onward to his house....

we played guitar til Dewey came, Vince liked my rendition of "Runaway" by Del Shannon, I think it wasjust the "wa wa wa wa wonder" or the "why why why why why"'s, but it was all good..We sang together and Vince always likes that, because I sing in harmony, cursed me.....

after that it was onward to the north..yeah first stop was good ol RtC..but it was brief, the place was packed, so we kept going, passing Steak and Shake, which was closed, but we were going for Meijer....we got to the light, we looked on to the parking lot..it was completely empty..he had to drive in...and yeah, meijer was closed, til the 26th at 6..that was then when we knew the world was coming to an end....so we headed back for RtC hoping it died down in that short amount of time..but it hadn't, and upon further inspection we saw nothing but male waiters, (as opposed to female waiters, or male waitresses....) so yeah, we undoubtedly felt the need to leave...and back home we went.....

we made a stop at the Virgin, surprised to see nothing was happening there for the evening. Vince and I decided to make a pilgrimage from Lowell to her one day in the summer, sounds like fun. And then I dropped Vince and Dewey back off at Vince's and headed back round to the clapp's...I picked up Toni and we went just down the road to the midnight mass, I almost got Vince to come with but he opted not to when dewes said he wasn't going...the service was good, I think, only have one other to compare it to and that was three years ago...and at the end of the evening I bolted like a bat out of hell, I just couldn't stay, I needed to leave, that's all I can say really....and here I am, goodnight

Target and all those who perish within...

alright, so I've been working at Target, god I love the holiday season ,and there's this one girl, seasonal, who makes me feel bad for anything sexual I've ever said..let me explain....

alright, little background you all should know, the way I talk is a bit, hmm, how do you say, over the top? I've always talked shit in a sexual realm. it's always been my nature to come off really strongly in a sexual tense, I don't do it on purpose it just comes out....and because of this people have always thought I was some sex crazed, got a lot of it, mofo..couldn't be further from the truth. I remember telling brooke when we first met, something I usually have to do when I meet new people, don't take my sexual talk seriously, it's just my ramble, I mean nothing by it, sorry if it offends you..so now that the basics have been cleared up, moving onto the subject at hand...

so there's this seasonal girl at target who I swear must be my duplicate. she says things, or motions for things, just anything she does is wrong and I feel awkward. I see so much of myself in this girl it's scary (let alone that last statemnt could be taken sexually...) I now feel how everyone else has always felt, I'm sorry about it all...

here's a scary thing that happened just last night: I walked out from electronics to scan the risers and she was in right by in a health and beauty ailse (H&B to those who are smart) and shesays, "hey, I got something for you..." and I pause, taking a look around, see and grab a box of condoms sitting misplaced on an endcap, and as I turn and say, "well here's something for you" she is grabbing a box of condoms from the peghook....what in the hell are the odds of that, damnation, yeah I was a little scared at that point, but yeah, you see my point here?

so once again I am sorry for coming across as some sex-fiend, I do apologize though I know it won't/can't stop, oh well....

My Christmas Wish.....

Terrifying Quotes....

Alright, yesterday I was taking kodee to her basketball game at the deathhazard highschool, and I guess I promised I would attend as well, ok, so on the ride to a certain someone came up in discussion..and I spoke of how I was still living in fear of an expecting call, justa call in general, but maybe for a meeting or something else, maybe just to bitch at me, who knows, but I was living in the glory of it being several days and still no call..so then she says, "don't worry, your time will come" the most eerie thing she could have said to knock my ass right back into the realm of fear, damnation. so until that time comes, I'm here, trying not to think about it and just be, but when I least expect it it will happen right, hmmmm.

Family Dinner....

So this past Saturday was the Baiel's family holiday dinner, and I was invited, yay. It was a joyous occasion, and I had a lot of fun. I got to see james' art in person, that was really amazing....the website does no justice, hell they look like pictures on the internet, but they are hand drawn, it is really an amazing thing to see, way to go man. Dinner was excellent as well; there were various foods to choose from, game hen, twice baked potatoes,...yeah I was happy. Then later came the gift exchange, which was cool as well, it was the pick a gift/steal a gift type...and everyone wanted my plaid wrapped gift. the limit on the gift was a dollar, which made things a lot more interesting. well the person who got my gift, I ended up getting theirs, it was in a blue bag, come on..so that was funny. I think overall everyone enjoyed the present that came with the plaid wrapping, hell yes bobble head dog. After all the was said and done, we watched the grinch, the original, and I fell asleep on the wood floor, I was tired, being up from the night prior and such, but I woke up as soon as the movie ended..and that's basically how the night went out, just everyone sitting in front of the TV, everyone passed out and then woke up at the same time an hour later, it was funny, and then we all called it a night. thanks for the great time guys!

My Car is Dirty

I just went to my car, and I knew it was getting a road worn look to it, but damn, this thing is in terrible condition. Now my car is, or shall I say, used to be, black...but due to the crazy snowy (or not so snowy as some would like...) weather, my car has a new shade of some random color..it's pretty bad, even the windows are all messed up..i cann't remember when it looked this bad....but it's funny...I think the funnier thing about it all is the things I say to myself, like in this occasion. I'm sure every thing is a lot funnier when you're there and actually know what's going on and you hear how things are said, but it my monotone voice I said, "my car is dirty...like my soul"...and whenever I say stupid things like that, it makes me stop and think, what the hell is wrong with me

This is Really Interesting.....

Well, apparently my "Letter to God" Post stirred up a bit of emotions and controversy over the weekend...it even caused enough concern to make this post from zag..wow all I can say to that is wow....it's amazing to see how friends can come through for you..but if anyone is wondering what the post is about, just ask me, I think it was taken the wrong way by several out there, but whatever, it was good, sorry for any confusion, and once again zach, thanks!

Hmmmmm...?>?>?>

Alright, well it seems as thoguh Blogger didn'y publish my posts from the other night, wel whatever, i still have them on here, so noting was lost in theory....it didn't help that i was offline for a stint as well, but i'm back, kinda..so since i have the posts, i''l just republsih them on those days i missed, i think it evens and averages out, well here we go...

Pissed....
more than a urinal puck

Yeah, I'm raging right night, about what you ask...many a things...god I fucking hate people...as I type my fingers tremble from all the blood flowing through my body so quickly...yeah, been going through the stages, from angry, to pissed, to violently getting angry, to the I'm too tired to even think about it...those latter spells don't last for very long, but I am calm during those durations, somewhat...I've been cleaning..yeah cleaning cause I'm pissed...on the verge of smoking some cigarettes as well, but that won't do any good, will it? I'm just really surprised I haven't passed out yet...I suppose though if I were to sit down and rest, I'd be out quicker than a light..but in the mean time I will continue riding this madcoaster and see where it takes me...damn my foot hurts...

P.S. what comes around goes around, beware of flying shit

104.3
Playing All Jason, All the Time...

So I was out and about in my car traveling and such, just the normal run around, but as I flipped through the preset stations, I noticed a familiarity in the playlist on a certain station. Yeah, just about every song that Oldies 104.3 played was, on my oldies cd...honestly, I thought someone took my cd or something, the coincidences were just too fitting..i don't know if they were in the same order as I have mine in, but still...now I understand it is called my oldies cd, and I was listening to the oldies radio station.. But how often has this every happened, never to my recollection. Now I'm not paranoid over it or anything, I just thought it was kinda funny, at first I thought the radio station was playing certain songs to make me feel blue, knowing what songs I would relate certain memories to..but then it continued, and this was throughout the night as well, even after commercial breaks and me changing the channel listening to other stuff, running into stores, eating, doing whatever it is I do...all the songs went with the cd and, well, my oldies likes...ok, just rambling...

Let's Do This Shit.....

So yeah, anybody want to witness a fight, yeah a good ol high school style fight? No admission will be charged, bring your own snacks, guaranteed to last 4 rounds. Also bets may be placed, and will be taken at time of the fight....the contenders: in this corner, the man with no name, rather I mean a fake name, the stereotype to fit all Roberts, hailing from the unfriendly confines of "We're better than the world Academy", Leal.....and in the other corner, with an unprecedented record for pissing people off, the man in blue with a death wish, Jason....

So what am I rambling about, who shot who in the what now? Ohhh, it just is a little something from a conversation I had with brooke the other day. We were talking about what a lying, good for nothing person she turned into (ouch, stabbing for prune juice...) and I was throwing some hard stones at her, when she hurls out this line out of nowhere, "leal could kick your ass and make your piss come out your nose" still, looking back on the topic, it was completely random, maybe she was angry and that was all she could come up with...but I embraced the idea full heartedly, I stayed on the topic and rambled on and on about it, she eventually walked away from the computer because she probably realized the stupidity of the comment, but I want an ass beating, it would be glorious..she also says she wants to kick my ass, but that's different, wouldn't be able to fight back...though if we got a chick involved we could have a double header, Leal Vs Me, and Brooke Vs Some girl who is in my side...hell we could make this a tag team match, how great would that be?!?! Ohh shit, who's in for it, it'll just go better...

so this is my outburst.."Come on, let's get this shit going, time/place, we'll be there ready to kick some ass....and I'm bringing my own hearse for I know I'm crazy and will fight to my death....hell yes risen!" kinda sounds like the undertaker, but yeah, I want to do this shit more than ever.....come watch my ass get beaten to as bloody pulp, hell, bring a camera so I can watch it later....I await your reply you spineless fucks.... **smiles**

Quote Ali, A(h)me, A(h)ceeee

So last night at Target, of course, I was working the line (again, of course) and it is moving really really slowly, we're talking like one box at a time shit...so anyways to make things pass by, we started fighting over the single box that came down, then throw it around on the line or at each other, it was fun while it was harmless. So then it got into this friendly little war once another guy started throwing them as well, the person I was attacking said, "Jeff, you're throwing boxes at me now?" and so I said, "yeah, it's 5 against one now.." they looked confused at me, and Jeff replied "I just threw a box, I'm not on any side here.." so then Amy said, "ha, see, I got (and she starts naming the people that walked by) on my side, all you got is yourself....Rob alone could beat your ass..." so then I said, "well that may be true, but that's only one ass, there are still four more to kick....lovely thing about multiple personality disorder.....you beat one of me down, you still have to face the wrath of the others..." So then she says back, "ok, rule number one, don't get into fights with crazy people, no matter how many times you kick them, they never stop coming back, it's an endless battle..." yeah, exactly..so this goes well with my next topic.....

December 17th....A Good Day

Today is December 17th, and for some reason its existence makes me happy. One of only two days in December, the other being December 11th, that make me happy and have some sort of significance to me. Each day has several reasons for being a good day for me, I won't go into details...and actually I can only remember two reasons why today's date is important to me, where as I can think of several for the 11th's. Yeah, and I probably was doing just the opposite on the 11th, thinking of why the 17th was so important to me....oh well. So this is in tribute to both you days..way to be!

Dear God,

Hey yo it's me...umm, I'm not sure really how to do this, but I'm giving it a shot in the dark. And I know we haven't gotten along in the past, but here I am telling my secrets to the one person you're not supposed to tell your secrets to...(that's kinda a joke..it's from a great movie, I think you should get it....) Well, let me say Happy Eary Birthday to your son, though he's really you and you are him, so happy birthday to both..whatever...yeah and another thing is, we celerate it December 25th, yet we all know that wasn't the date of the birth, wired, but yeah.....so they say this is the greatest time of the year, and yeah I agree with them, I like the holiday season, the hustle and bustle of the crowds, people asking for world peace, it's all good..but isn't it a little too funny, some sort of wired irony for you, but this season is also the highest time for suicides, kinda makes you wonder about things...never mind that statement....

well they also say you work in mysterious ways, yeah I defiantly see that one coming through...but isn't that statement in itself a cop out resposnse...I mean look at it this way God, we here on earth can't explain why you allow for such horrible things to happen to people who "don't" deserve it so we just say you work in mysterious ways, and that all will prevail in the end, good things come to those who wait..but I don't know if you realize this, our generation hates waiting, look around, you'll see signs of the McDonaldization of the world, it's craziness. Alright, example, pretty simple one as well too, but sex: it has been said, that one must/should wait til marriage to have sex...this goes for several reasons, it's about love and a bound and yadda yadda yadda, another time another place..and I agree, well used to agree with it, now, now I could give less of a rat's ass about it, I used to be a fantasy virgin, it was something special, but it's all hopeless, I don't see any reason to wait anymore....now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to go out and have sex right now, I don't care to, but I sure as hell know better than to wait it out til marriage..I mean look at it, the odds of me loosing my virginity to my virgin wife are as good as me winning the lottery, twice...it's all foolish to try to have those ideals now-a-days, ask around, you'll find people fucking for any reason, any where, with anyone, just because....you see, they are tired of waiting, they figure why not just get it now, why should they wait to have this pleasure when they can get it now at no risk/charge/loss..waiting's the hardest part, but just why are we waiting? I think everyone has lost that reason, and all you see around you is a chaotic state society is in...but what can you do..well I think it is about time for another flood, but that's the old you, you're not as wrathful as you used to be, you got soft on us man..come on smite some people.....

so yeah, everyone gets what they deserve..in the end, whenever that may be, also you never make us bear more than we can handle..I've heard that before and I think it's a crock of shit...ohh and you know it too, I mean if people weren't pushed over the edge like they are by all the shit they face in a lifetime, they wouldn't snap correct? some people deal with things different ways, but when it's too much to handle, they burst..they go off the deep end, whether they go crazy, kill people or commit some other crime, or just take their own life...now that sounds like too much to bear to me. you must know what are limits are, I mean you are the great Creator, so then why would you have us take on more than we should, what does it prove, is it some sick game for your enjoyment, and at who's expense? Alright, here'sa situation, though not good, but made up on the spot, deal with it....you're an employer and you have people working for you and you tell them that if they keep their loyalty towards you, no matter what happens, they will justly be rewarded with something as great as heaven could be as a reward...you tell them they can't buy any products from the competion, they oblige, so then you raise prices on your items, and reduce their pay...you start taking away more and more of their benefits and hell, you rape and murder their wives...do you think they are still going to work for you? not in any dimension of the universe I'd ever want to be aprt of. I mean that end reward would have to mighty grand to put up with all that shit....

so what's this all about God, well I'm asking the same question...you see, I'm in this little rut here, whether you or myself got me here, things aren't getting better. I'm barely above water, if you count the top of my head, and I guarantee by January 2004 if things continue to go like they are, I will be completely sumerged. so from there what, well as I just said I give myself only a month to "keep afloat", or stay alive in other words. now I'm not asking for the moon, there's nothing there, but maybe just for some direction, lord knows I need that..whoops..I mean, yeah....I need something here, I can't last much longer....they say everybody has a purpose, can that actually be true..or maybe I'm thinking it a little more graniose...I suppose someone's purpose could vary from something large like being president to something crappy as being a bum on the streets..I guess it's the chaos theory for ya...but I, like a majority of the people, want something big from my life, I want to make a difference somehow, I want something..honestly what am I here for, what is my purpose, or am I just supposed to besome worthless statistic?

Regards,

J.C.
(no no, not Jesus Christ...come on, it's funny....)


P.S. I have a friend who wants to play you in Poy Poy for a battle for the universe..I don't have any crazy requests like that, I know I'm going to hell ( if this isn't already it..), but I could ask you one question, and if you weren't able to answer I would have the right shoe, and I'll even give you a headstart on your response, so you got a month to answer me this, "Why?"

Music......
Part 12.2

so yeah, this is completely random, but I was just sitting here listening to winamp cycle through it's laylist of songs, and the White Stripes came on.....yeah, good shit.....so I hear they have been nominated for Album of the Year for the Grammys..and so here is my prediction, they will win it..I can't remember to be able to list the other albums, but yeah, they got it, I feel the sympathy with them for making the album on like 50 bucks...plus the other artists aren't anything special either (Outkast, Evanescence, Justin Timberlake, Missy Elliott)..so yeah, there it is, my prediction...but what's in a grammy nomination, I hear they're giving them to anyone (category 52...he he he)......

Not Fair.....
Part 11.5

I just made a post, number 11, but be damned if it didn'y load to the server..and it freaked out before i could copy it...not justifying it with another similar post, i'm going to bed....

Wow.....
Part 10

So I think this is my wrap-up (or should I say rap-up...) for this blog-a-thon...let's see, I've been posting since 4:10am and it is now 7..wow, that's three hours of posting....damn, and I only made 10 posts..but I suppose some have extra length to them, so it's all good....I checked and saw that zach commented on a couple already, hell, even anne did..thanks guys..I love comments, I could be a comment whore if I cared more about it, but I'll take what I can get and enjoy what it is worth.....but yeah..you know I have forgotten something here..who knows what it could possible be though, but I know something is off...oh, I sped up my processor and now my CPU and motherboard run 6 degrees warmers, there we go...but yeah I think I am finished here..I know I will be posting later, so I'll just add it to the day, and maybe I'll actually hit that 12 mark....hmmmm

Smarter than You Smell.....
Part 9

yeah, this is a short little post about the funny things I've been doing that use common sense that surprise me.....

like for instance, I was driving and heard something rolling around behind my seat, as I reached around for it, it was just off the tips of my fingers, and the other hand had no chance of grabbing it either...so you know what I did, while I was reaching for it, I quickly swerved the car left then right, and tada, it rolled it right my hand, and this was all in a matter of seconds for me to figure it out...no playing around, can't grab it, I'll continue because I'm stupid sort of thing, oh no, it was all good.....

or how about this one, this is just funny....but sometime when I sit in my chair I just plop down, and find myself in a really weird positions all leaning to one side or so...then people will start talking to me online, or I'll decide to make a blog post..but when I reach for the keyboard I come to realize the my fingers are basically fixed in a none-moving fashion, my arms are pinned to where they can't shift ever so slightly to type the rest of the keys on the side of the board...so you know what I did, instead of repositioning myself, I decided to start swiveling in my chair..yeah, it's hilarious to see, just these quick little jerks back and forth, all to hit the right keys...

so yeah, it's these little things I am finding myself doing more and more..am I gaining common sense..if so, that means I am loosing my book smarts...oh what a world, I'm becoming dumber, yes it'sa slow process of dumbing....oh lord, my friends, if you love me, please kill me I become as stupid as the average person....also if I become a vegetable and can't perform certain functions on my own, spare me the suffering and just pull the damn plug.....

Laughing with Organized Crime
Part 8

So last night, after the trip to the truckstop and the lion's den, Tony decided he wanted to watch sopranos, part 2 of season 4 of or something..whatever, so we went to family video, got in right before they closed and searched...well some jacks had already took the copies of both DVD and VHS, and they were the only ones out, how?…appropriate....so then we were trying to figure out something else to watch since we got all hyped up about watching a movie (though sopranos would have been nothing for me, who knows what it is even about...)so twan found cheerleader ninjas or some crap in the new releases, god help me I don't even want to know..and we continued looking just in case something else popped out...since I figured sopranos was something to do with mafia and the sorts,Ii suggested Scarface...and as it went, we decided upon that, yay...

yeah,I purchased the super deluxe gift pack edition, the one in the huge black case with the two dvds and other special features..yeah I really went out on a limb paying the 50 dollars on a movie I had never seen, but let me tell you, ohh I am glad I spent the money, best investment ever....well not really, but you see my point....

we watch the movie and yeah, I enjoyed it...it may have seemed a little long, but then again I had been up a long part of the day, so maybe I was just tired and was hoping ti would end quicker allowing me to go to sleep..but I loved the movie....andthee best thing was, it was also funny...it had it's one liners, and it had twan and I busting out laughing on the ground ever now and then...but it would quickly bring us back with some shocking twist of plot or chainsaw...ohh I can defiantly see why so many people liked it, it is one badass movie...and sure, there's the one part at the end of imbreeduios love, but that's cool I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing....

but yeah, if you like gangster movies, you have to see this one..and when you do, invite me over,I'll bring my copy and we'll watch it..it's defiantly a movie I want to see again. I'm telling you, it ranks right up there with reservoir dogs...no joke.

Something I hate..I Swear to make this short....
Part 7

Alright, I mentioned this before, but never went into it....one ting that I do not enjoy is falling alseep with my clothes on. I'm talking my everyday, I could get up and nobody would be the wiser, looks like he passed out sort of thing. for starters, when I go to sleep, whenever it maybe, I like to wear a shirt and my undies, no more , no less (well maybe....)

I hate socks...I will not wear them to bed, hell, it's one of the first things off me when I do arrive at my destination. I remember as a kid not wearing socks when I went out to play, I think I only wore socks to school because they forced them on me.....but no matter how cold it gets, the socks come off...and sleeping with shoes on is a pain as well..I'll wake up in the middle of my passed out state just to take off the shoes and socks.

I don't like to wear pants when I sleep, though I can get away with it at times....maybe it is a loose pair of pants, or those orange ones from the Sadie Hawkins dance...but if I sleep with my pants on, the wallet and everything else has to be out, otherwise I'll just get mad when I poke myself with the thousand random toys in my pockets (we all remember the chirpy incident) but yeah, no pants, not even shorts liked to be worn....

shirts...shirts are fine, less they are long sleeved, then it gets in my way..and layers...good goff do layers anger me.... some how I always manage to roll around the right way to where when I roll again, I go to get up, I'm stuck in some submissive paralysis that hudinei himself couln't escape from....so shirts, short sleeve and baggy... I have those select nighty shirts picked out, so it's all good.....

and sometimes...sometimes I'll wear my jacket and fall asleep..though this more often happens with my overcoat than anything else...but I think that stems from the fact that I naturally wear the overcoat as some form of robe...yes, even over the t-shirt and undies, I will be wearing the jacket as a robe, go figure..normally the jacket actually allows for better sleep than if I were dressed and without the jacket, don't exactly know why, but it just does, so only a little gripe towards it if any at all....

oh, glasses...I don't like to fall asleep with my glasses on...if you ever see me asleep with the glasses on, it's a mistake that I'm sleeping..that usually occurs when I am dead tired but don't realize it til I stop. and normally when this happens I try to catch myself and take off the glasses...but where they end up also can determine just how tired I am..sometimes I'll just hold on to them, that's funny to wake up to....other times I'll lay them next to me, and how I don't crush them is beyond me..still others I'll just lay them on my chest, and usually wake up the same way...and if I am lucky, I'll actually be able to put the glasses on a table or stand, something out of harms way....you glasses wearing fools should know what I'm talking about..but as for you contact non-geeks, I don't know how it works with you..I think it goes something along the lines of waking up and your eyes burn.....

hmmm, is there anything else....well I like my watch and ring and any other jewelry off as well, but it doesn't disturb me as much as everything else, and those are simple little things to remove anyhow, so no real harm to cause for my sleep deprivation anywho....

but my point was, the uncomfortableness of sleeping with your clothes on...I'm not for it, no sir, not at all...when I wake I feel so out of place, not knowing where I am, distorted sense of reality mixed with dreamland fantasies. and I don't get a good sleep out of it either, never before have I ever felt refreshed, it was a waste of my time as I figure it....and I love it when I wake up in a panic...you know..the, "oh my god, what time is it, what day it is, where am I, am I running late, I'm dressed, how long have I been sleeping..." sort of thing..god that adrenaline alone is enough to kill a man...but that is my little rant about sleeping without getting rest all because you didn't get naked....

If You're Into Kinky Sex....
Part 6

After we left the truckstop is when things picked up a bit...we headed across the street to the new store that just opened up, right where that fireworks place used to be next to Burger King....yeah it's called the Lion's Den, and get this, it's an adult superstore....holy hell has it raised people's tempers. It basically went up overnight, nobody even knew about it, it was amazing....so lowell and many people are pro-testing in anger towards the new store, I can see why, but the thing is, lowell doesn't have jusrisdiction on it..they registered through merrillville, hell they even got a merrillville phone number, how brilliant is that? anyways back to what I was saying..what, that was what I was saying...so we entered...it was kinda small and I had no idea where to begin, obviously they could tell I was a little out of place..especially when I went to the wall and stood there for awhile only to realize I was looking a dildos...anyways...oh yeah, they card you as soon as you get in, no matter how old you look, it is crazy. but I looked around..things are expensive....but they have a lot to offer I suppose, can't really compare it to anything else. I did find something that made me smile, I was even tempted to buy it, but had no reason, it wouldn't even make sense, but it would have been a christmas present..yeah, she would have loved it as well, I mean we did talk about such a thing, and god it would have rocked, but yeah...oh what was it, edible body paint.....yeah......ok out of that fantasy....they had "cool" things in there, iespecially liked the sex swings and the copies of the Kama Sutra. I will have to buy something from there eventually, maybe a whip or something of the sorts..ehh who knows...I won't be able to go alone though, I feel wrong for being there...oh, the one thing I thought was amazing, and zach would appreciate this, the employees of the place were smoking, right there in the store, I was like, wow...if only zach could see this...if he were still in lowell, I would say he should apply there....but all in all, that was that, ok moving on (maybe after a shower...).....

Truck Stops for Broken Record....
Part 5

So after 10 and the closing of alco (and stealing of the display, he he) we made our way to the truckstop. It's been a long time since I've been there..well as far as I can remember...when was the last time, and if it was recent, then it sure wasn't memorable..and this will probably escape from my memory as well...not much happened there, I mean it is still the same thing, they changed the menus, lowell townies can still be found eating there (good goff I'd be one of those...) not much to really say, I didn't even enjoy the coffee tonight, nor my apple crisp ala depeche mode pie thing, oh well. but I suppose the reason for this post is merely for glotation..yeah I made up that word.....but you see, barcus has been talking about nothing but going out for coffee, but was he there tonight, nope..now don't ge the wrong idea, I'm not hating him, I do enjoy his company and hanging out with him..but he has a job now, he's "back" or hanging out with teresa again, so any "my time" (good god I just said my time, when I meant to say hanging uot with others time....) has virtually vanished...so then wouldn't I be welcoming him to this not so eventful outing..well you see we saw each other yesterday, and yesterday I made another request for the tape recorder, and well come today I still don't have it, so therefore no plans were made..I know it's a shitty thing to do, and once he gives it back to me I'll end up feeling bad or something (damn the conscious..) but til then I'll be angry about it..I think the main thing that has me is the fact that I founda bunch of old tapes I wanted to review and hear what was on them....but once again I'll have to wait.....

To Drink or Not to Smoke...but yet Smoke.....
Part 4

Alright, this is a very very bad habit for me..and yeah it occurs wherever I am at, but it reaches level of craziness when I am at my computer...I am talking about my intense levels on pop intake....I don't know how to explain it, but as I sit here, hacking away at the keyboard, surfing the web, reading crap, or just listening to music, I go through many many cans of soda....I don't do it intentionally, it's like a reflex...but when I think about it, I convince myself that I am thirsty so then I need the pop..I go through cans so fast I am finished with one before I am even comfortable in my chair...then I try to bear it out without a pop, but that just leads to edginess and quick static hand movements..and then I'll get up and grab some more pop..but only one at a time...I know I got off the pop kick for awhile, I didn't need it, in fact I still am trying to kill it, at work I drink some form of juice, whether orange or fruit punch, something different, maybe every now and then I might grab a two liter, but those are rare occasions...I get my fix when I'm not at work....but as of late I've been seeing my bag-o-cans fill up quicker than normal....

so what to do what to do.....well I inadvertently found a solution, serendipity what? you see, I put a cigarette in my mouth, just the left hand corner and I let it sit there...maybe slightly sucking on it making sure it stays in my mouth, but nothing more..of course we all know I don't smoke, so there it sits...of course it is a flavored one, change between mandarin mint, midnight madness (got to love the taste of champagne in a cigarette), or some Turkish Royals (Roy- Als as I call them, like a French quarter pounder...)so has it worked...damn straight....this is actually working wonders..though I may appear funny with a cigarette hanging out my mouth, it kills the reflexive pop lust..so as long as I can remember to put a cigarette in my mouth whenever I sit at a computer, I will be fine, just leave it here by my computer and hopefully it will remind me......my only concern is, can I still get lip cancer from just holding and un-lit cigarette there???

Illegal Activity in the Caribbean.....
Part 3

So we all know that when a big movie comes out, stores have displays for them, and movie buffs like to get their hands on as many as humanly possible, where as fans like to do the same, only for specific movies..so therein you have the conflict...arena: ALCO battling today, and many days to come the contestants Nate Vs Jason....yeah, now here's me, if there's a movie I appreciated and really liked, yeah, then I'll want the display..it's such a rarity though, I mean I hardly ever get out to see a movie in the theater, and the ones that I do are "mediocre" in nature, lacking themedia thrust that would allow for alco to acquire such a display..while nate gets his dirty little paws on anything that hits the floor...but this rivalry doesn't begin today, this goes way back, a long long time ago~~~~

I had just recently started working at alco, actually this may be couple months down the road in fact, but not several...anyways, the ocean's 11 display was made, I liked the way it looked, all 3-D and pretty, I figured, well I saw it in the theater, I have both DVD's already, why not have something cool like the display tp add to the collection...so I "claimed", though not the correct way, I didn't know there was one, I figured word of mouth was good enough, but it seemed to be that you had to deface the back of the display by putting your name on it..and then when nate say it he quickly asked for a marker, and as always I am my own undoing, I gave him one..well from there he ran over to the display and put his name on it..I tried to argue with him, he had his points and was correct, and I had my valid points, so who was right??? well the F'er got the display anyways...

months down the road Sweet Home Alabama is on display...and nate iswondering if he wants it or not....he finally decides to write his name down, but says he really doesn't know if the life size Reese will work for him.....so when I took down te display, I took Reese with..and we all know about Reese, yeah she's in the trunk now, but she's had her moments....



anyways, so he came to the conclusion I "stole" it from him, and that now all of a sudden he wanted Reese...well them I figured we were even, he took my display, I took a piece of his, remember, he still has the rest of the thing, I just have Reese...then comes the Lizzie McGuire display, and of course Jason has to have that right? When I put my name on it, it was well into the week so everyone had their time to claim it if they so chosed...but when the display became emptied, nate ran off with it......I even got a nice ransom letter for the damned thing..but the laugh is on him, not only did I get the same (well, different but similar) display, I got a big one from target, ha, shows him....anyways, to the present we go....

so new movies are released ontuesdays, for those of you who don't know..freaks, so when I went into alco, mind you early in the morning that fateful Tuesday, I walked over to the display, only to see nate's name already on it.....I figured I was beat..but then I wondered how he got his name on it so quickly, he didn't work that morning, so when I asked around I got the answer, the horrifying truth that lay in a underhanded deceiving moce....he opened the display box up days prior to the release and put his name on it.....this is a bozo no-no in the war on display claimers....I remember going through the rules with nate a long while back, back when spiderman was released..and the deal was it had to reachthe sale floor to put your name on it, no backroom/behind the scenes claimage..of course this went into many many different outtakes and scenarios...but that was one of the rules..and he broke it....

well that brings us to yesterday, and needless to say, the display was emptied and brought to the back of the store....nate didn't work that Sunday, and as a form of punishment (yes I am a self-righteous bastard) took it upon myself to do so, and grabbed the display...and now I have it....it's not anything special really...the fucks who put it together threw out some of the pieces because they couldn't follow directions...so the sides are useless, but I the toppers is still good and worth it.....now there's one person who I know who would love to have it, and yeah she probably would have gotten it too (remember I never do for myself) but if anything I'll probably end up giving it to her sister....

Nick.....Where Are My Pants?!?!
Part 2

So what did I do today, hmmm, oh yes, I did laundry, which is really an odd thing. why did I do laundry, or why is it so weird you are probably asking, well I just did laundry on thanksgiving, might seen like awhile ago, but I know for certain I can go a lot longer than this without a wash, I am still sick, and I only will wash my clothes after a recent washing if and when I get better, but that is not the case....I guess maybe I was bored, something came over me, I wanted to smell the mountain breeze again or something....and I washed everything, whites, lights, darks, yellows, reds, sheets, blankets, and towels, yeah that's like eight loads right there..holy shit, it was, haha I'm brilliant..anyways....I also found some clothes in storage in the process, so those needed to be washed as well....but here's what got me, did you know, now I didn't even know this, but I have 7, count them 7 different pairs of khaki pants..possibly more, but 7 that I have found and wear, oh and ass one more, I forgot to include the pair that I wear to target every night I work....not to mention I also have the 5 pairs of jeans I wear.....that's a lot of leggage coverings if you ask me....well, just how many pairs do you readily have on hand?

Alright, What the Hell....
Post 1

So yeah, an update...i suppose if you call mindless ramblings that nobody cares about even though i do this every 4 hours an update, then yeah, it's what it is....and you know what...i'm breaking this shit up too, you're getting like 12 posts instead of one long one.....hope you enjoy this.....

Well How Bout That....

Yeah, closed for maintenance really means Klink Family sucks a nut.....yeah apparently in their little updation they lost all the comments on the blogs..yeah they warned it may happen, but shouldn't they be a little more professional about it and try a little harder...I guess it couldn't come at a better time either, people finally start commenting on the damn thing, hell even Toni left a message, and now it's all for naught...so thanks, thanks again..I guess in light of my last post, you rained on my parade..fucking thanks....

P.S. Yeah I know it's a free thing offered, but still, isn't that all comment systems...I suppose this one could be great but it's struggling with it's own limitations ad a mediocre commenting system....

Reign on the Parade....
And I'll Rain on Yours Too....

So this just in, well I was just informed of this, but "apparently" the US caught Saddam... allegedly this happened last night some time, I didn't hear anything on the radio though, but I get the calls today, so whatever..I'm checking cnn.com right now..but let's just get this out right now. It's all a hoax, a fake, not real, sorry, but I know the world will believe it. Yeah this is my little conspiracy theory....once again I feel as if I am that guy in the horro movie who knows more than they should and will be the first to go....but here it is, while I can get this out.....but take a look at the timing and situation of this all...the bush administration has been countlessly attacked in the latest primary debates, moreso for this "war"..sure it was a smooth move on Bush's part going to have thanksgiving with the troops, that was all planned out, but the latest attacks were too much for them to handle, so they had to move forward with their step process a little faster and bring saddam's "capture" at a sooner date...what better way for the US to spend their holiday season than with the "end of a dark era" why not do it on christmas day, a little too corny, even for the plan makers in washington, though it would have been the "gift everybody wanted", they thought more into it than that....bring in saddam before the holiday is over....that way people will spend more during the holiday, boasting the economy.....I guarantee to see sales increase today and throughout this week, moreso than the regular holiday shopping would have brought...in fact, I'm so sure of this I will bring in the numbers of TY and LY of target at the end of next week...and even though you are supposed to do more for TY than LY, it really hasn't been the case this year, sales are stagnant and people are still weary to buy in this economy...let's see what this charade of a capture will do. So yeah, it's a fake, deal with it, just like more than half the shit that goes on in washington, fake fake fake...try the moon landing, but that's a totally different topic of discussion. So hate to be the scrooge of this holidaous uplifting news, but yeah, the truth is hard to bite and I know nobody will believe...enjoy

Missing Days Like "I Miss You"

Yeah, another day slipped by without a post from me...well it was never my intention to make a post everyday, but come close to it..and I think just as of late it seemed like it was the norm, a post everyday...but I've been letting a couple get away....am I too lazy to post or too busy doing other things, depends....but I feel as if I am making up for it, or giving the readers a break, I mean hell the other day I had three posts, so it just depends..today will probably be the same, keep the average up, ha...

so let's see, how's this for starters, I left target Saturday morning at 10:15...yeah, an 11 hour shift, how crazy am I? I was in electronics the entire time as well, though there was somebody in there (not really helping...) I still was in there talking to myself...the backroom left at 7, leaving lots of shit still needing to be backstocked, I told them I was staying til 4 in the afternoon, so they let me, since electronics really should be clean every night, yet we've been carrying over everynight all week. so martha and I stayed..she annoyed me even more that last hour from 7 to 8 with her mindless ramblings about her parrot....probably wouldn't haveanooyed me so much if she were actually scanning things in, instead of standing by my ladder or tub talking away.....well she left at 8 and I was free as a bird. of course that's when the store opens and as soon as I sstuck my head out the electronics stockroom I was mauled by customers asking questions. God I enjoyed it, I looked like a day person as well, with my red target shirt, khaki pants, and even my "Skittles" nametag, all was good...I think I'm the only overnight person to want to stay til the customers come so I can harass, or be harassed by them (I'm a glutton for punishment)....so I went back to my cell and closed the door, now I was safe yet secluded, free yet held hostage, funny way to look at it..and I continued to backstock by myself for another two hours (I earned a break, yet I never took one, probably should have...) but yeah, I cleaned that shit up and all was good, I left at 10:15 like I said, many people surprised to still see me there that late/early, god I rock.....

what else happened..oh after that I was wide awake, go figure, bouncing off the walls wherever I went....and since I had the day off I could stay awake and do as I pleased....I took a shower and then afterwards picked out my clothes, now this is the funny thing..you should have seen me trying to decide what clothes I wanted to wear..I had the pants picked out (a pair of worn looking blue jeans) and a jacket (my original gray overcoat) and had to make my ensemble of the rest based off of that...it was funny.....but what gets even better, I spent all this time critiquing every outfit, actually doing my hair for once, and you know what I did, laid (laid isn't the right word to use in a chair, but yeah) went to sleep in my chair after the first 30 minutes..got to love that...after waking up feeling uncorfotable and partially cold I went and laid down....only to be awoken by my crotch vibrating, not pleasant let me tell you..yeah the phone was ringing...

it was, (should I say, one of the lovelies? or would that just piss you off..) well anyways I was just waking up so I was out of it, but luckily (and I love this girl for this reason..well that and because it reminbds me of someone else...) there wasn't much for conversation, a lot of pauses, now that's a conversation to me..basically we were both bored, me just waking up to thre boredom, but bored none-the-less...the silence allowed for me to gain back my senses and occasionally throw in a tidbit every now and then..so then I say this brilliant line, "well I'm boring and unoriginal, you just want to watch a movie?" seeings that's usually the first thing for activity that's on my mind when I wake up in a darkened room with a girl (whether on the phone or in person I suppose)

so I went and picked her up, and to my surprise it was snowing, god yes snow! the roads were slippery as hell, but I enjoyed it, but didn't enjoy the slow drivers..driving slow is alright, but 25 in a 55 is ridiculous...anyways, snow, yeah, I was happy....ohh, but you know what I missed, the damn parade of lights that Lowell had..yeah I wanted to see that shit, it usually makes me happy, suffering the bitter cold to see a slow ass parade of crappily made floats with rope lights on it....

so anyways, we rented Bruce Almighty, yeah, can't remember the last time I've seen Jim Carey in a film...I went through the, "he's a sellout earning too much money, I miss the old In Living Color Jim" phase right around liar liar...speaking of liars..wait that's another post....but yeah, I enjoyed this movie, it was still Jim Carey, but a good movie none other....but here's the thing, I felt awkward...why you ask, well you should probably know by now..but I was watching a movie (darkened room sort of thing), with a girl that I do adore (knowing certainly well that nothing is going to happen either now or in the future), but it wasn't the right girl I suppose. maybe it's just me, and maybe I put too many fixations on certain things, who knows, but routines and things of that nature feel off when it's with someone else. I mean if it were up to me i'd be spending the rest of my short-lived life of movie watching with her, it would only seem right..but that's all gone now. so then there's this girl and me watching a movie on a couch, ha, I laugh at the mere thought. but it was best that we stayed on opposite sides on the couch, as much as I wanted to hold her, I probably would have been doing so for all the wrong reasons, then again who am I to say anything, some people can just pick up and start anew like that...I really wanted velveeta shells and cheese with the movie....

so yeah movie done and we're on our way, but we get stopped by barcus and teresa. after a lengthy conversation wherein I meandered the falling snow dancing and spinning in the streets, falling at times and singing my free wheelin' bob dylan (now it would have been great to have posed and a picture taken like on the ocver of the album itself, the ideals of love...) but after that whatever I dropped he off and went about my ways..and barcus/teresa found me so I went off with them driving around, I was in the backseat serenading them with my guitar, hell yes live concert...so that was good and fun..and it ended my night, ironically enough at midnight..yeah basically it stopped there...I may have stayed up a little bit longer, but I know I passed out sometime thereafter, never changing my clothes therefore sleeping an uncomfortable sleep...and here I am...

'Rounding Third and Heading for a Heartbreak
what the shit does that mean? ohhh I get it.....

So I'm rounding down the rest of my free time on my Friday night before I head to target by doing what...well besides visiting some lovelies, I'm blogging, yeah that's my life, how fun and exciting....

so what do we got here....well I was just informed online that Toni clapp was nominated from LHS for the Lilly scholarship...I wonder what sad depressing story she gave.....

I also want to thank my infomatives for calling me, midday mind you, to tell me the latest gossip of Lowell high school, glad to know I got the quick connections, I love you all.....

and speaking of gossip/rumors, you got to love how word can spread so fast..but as always I am ready to battle, always with a quick witted defense...but it's just that I have to wait til I get on that defensive end where I have to fight back on my stance...which I was allowed to do tonight on several areas..you got to love the one-sidedness of all these things, and the truth always has to fight it's way not people's minds..but you know what they say, it's harder to spread the truth than it is a rumor (or you're legs you fucking bitch...) but that's all hearsay anyways.....

and you know what I noticed, I've been getting comments..hell mother fucking yes comments....but just to clarify, the comments aren't necessarily about what I post..but that's ok, comments make me happy, especially when others get in on it too....thanks to all who make my happiness possible.

speaking of happiness, a kudos goes out to Liz on making sites like this known to me (well, not particularly to me, but rather listed in her profile, so be it, I enjoyed it....) So I got this idea..and I know Zach you would want to be apart of it, but I want to go to the Cadillac dealer, where they also sell the H2, and get a group shot of everyone giving all the cars in the lot the finger..sound good?

And to end it with this note..I just saw Barcus and Teresa out driving together (I think barcus was actually driving this time) and I thought...Bastardos...yeah, that's the only way to sum that one up....thery still have my tape recorder..and it's not like I use it everyday or anything, but when I have gone to sue I, it's not there, and I bitch..and barcus has said on several occasions,, "oh, I'll go get that" or "I'll get that next time" and even Teresa has said she'll "give it back as soon as possible", left as an online message for me...but you know, I'll bitch til I'm blue in the face (wow, that'd be pretty cool actually...) because they have my tape recorder, someone still has my Nero CD (possible brooke), salai still has my WinME disc, Kodee has my American History X DVD, I finally got back my sweatshirt, but the list can continue.....you know I'm going to have to start taking people's virginities here, already got a couple, I'll just add it to the collection...Thief level 35....Battle, roll damage, shit.....

Music playing on Winamp: Too Tight (on random play, but for all you bitches out there..hahaha)
Music playing in my Head: Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance ( I like the woos)
Music I'm playing for You: Like a Rolling Stone (think about it...)
Music I'm playing for everyone else:Closing Time (Get up and dance....)
Music Barcus' mind is on: One More Cup of Coffee (yeah, he's been wanting this for awhile...)

Bullseye...

oh yeah, so target's been good lately..i think once you look over the everyday bullshit, anything can be better, right? Also it gets better when you bring certain people to the backroom...with the past couple of days of getting behind (again) we had to pull certain people from flow over to the backroom, enter tony, jeff, and pete.

these guys are great. pete i know indirectly through kwinn, debbie pioth, zach b, among others....jeff is pete's friend and is engaged to michelle bates..and tony is tony...went to TFNorth so knew the area i grew up in....so it's asmall world..but it's not those connections which make everything better, its just our personalities which get us through the night...we tell everything from WWII conspiracy theories to dead baby jokes. pete's good with the latter part of that and tony would be the beginning part of the sentence..i'm in between (like always...haven't i mentioned this before...) i swear, our anticts don't ever stop, we bring it to the breakroom where others might decide to join in on the conversation, usually the case...but it's just nice to know that there are others that you can shoot the shit with who feel like you do..it makes working not seem like working, i mean obviously you are working, but you couldn't care now that your mind is on something worthwhile....ehh just a thought...

oh one gripe that tony and i were speaking of last night was the lack of hotties on over nights..hah yeah i know, but still, we argued that dayside gets everything, including the girls. we argued that it would boast moral and make people work harder, we had valid arguments for these positionsas well...but it's true, we really don't have any eye candy for overnights..like that's the first thing on mym ind to begin with..hell if anything that's that last thing i need, soem bitch ass girl to try to get with...but at times it would have it's moments....

and on the topic of girls....i think one day somebody is going to hear omeithng, or see something and take it the wrong way, and me and the backroom will have a sexual harassment lawsuit agaisnt them....i guess it's the overnight comfort thing, so i suppose it's beter we are overnights because we do get away with things like that..but just watch out fo any future posts and don't be suprised if i will be saying, "guess what i'm being sued/got fired for.."

and of course there's much more to go into..like the 20 different quotes from last night, but it'll wait....