SNOW DAY Part 1

more like blow day...
more like blow me...

it's kinda like a two-four-one...but it's really only two-eight...

it all starts with yesterday, err tuesday...i never got to talk about tuesday, and the only reason i note this is because tuesday was actually worth talking about due to the fact it was a decent day, or night rather...in the end...

of course it started out on a bad note, again with the no sleeping til late/can't get out of bed funk i've been in lately..which completely throws my day out of whack by not giving me enough time to do what i want to do in my day..whatever...so i sit and stew for a better part of the afternoon until it is time for me to leave for work..it's been snowing all day and my car is covered...

i'm leaving for work a little earlier than i normally would, or rather, i left my apartment earlier than i normally would..in the end i realize i should have 'left' a lot sooner..that way i would have not been late...

so i brush off the snow and do all that jazz, and amidst the digging out my car, i go in to start it - therein enters my problem...she turns over, but she won't stay started....now, i just bought a brand new battery last month, and i filled her up with a full tank last night..soooo what gives...

i sit there, and i crank and i crank...holding forward that key, hearing it turn, hearing the motor chug and chug...sometimes she'll take and i'll release the key and after a short few seconds, like a last breath, she putts to a deathly calm. i pop the hood, look inside - god only knows what for - i'm no mechanic, and it's too cold for me to check anything..so i jiggle this and that and continue to scrap off some ice...

i get back in the car, i try some more..i probably spend a good twenty minutes trying, taking small breaks here and there...cursing...then, like from a scene from back to the future as i bang my head on the steering wheel...she starts..kinda....i apply the gas as i turn her over...it works and i release the key, giving just the right amount of pressure on the gas pedal...as i ease off i can feel her start to die..too much, same results...sooo i basically had to feel out the car, knowing what she wanted when she wanted...after about a minute of this toying around i knew she could go on her own (off my life support) i released the gas and she started idling high..but i knew she was running right...

i made the call to work saying i would be late...honestly, had i not gotten the car started i probably would have just called off....given the way the weather was, the way it was not gonna stop snowing, i figured there was gonna be a lot of cancellations for the evening and me being there would just agitate me more...

i get to work thirty minutes late, just as preshift was ending..nobody questioned it at all..i found out what section i was in and went to work...as i was detailing my section and setting it up for the right amount of guests i found a penny nearby one of my tables...it was heads up..so i snatched it up and called it my lucky penny....how this would soon to be plausible...

from that moment on my night picked up...i at one point in the night was running five, yes five tables..a single, two deuces, a three, and a five...granted that was my entire night for covers, it was all i needed...one of my two-tops finished out at $600...and all my tables ignored the "Dirty Thirty" menu and ordered off the real menu..well, all but one..the five top..which were supposed to be the ones to order off the regular menu..such is life i guess....

now i was running around frantic, but keeping my server cool..i mean i'm always quick with my movements, but nobody can ever tell when i am truly weeded..not even me.....with five tables running, all at different courses needing different things and attention, i was still able to run food for people and do a wine presentation to a table..are you kidding me?! on top of all that, my SA sucked balls...i swear i could have done better without him, because...there wouldn't have been a difference..

all in all i ended the night with 1600 in sales, not too shabby if you ask me...i'll take that...and i'll especially take that on a random tuesday night....even more so during the "Dirty Thirty" menu....i enjoyed the part when one of our crappy servers that was in a section near me tried to take a fourth table and soapy told him he couldn't even run the three he had correctly, and i got to take the table...and then i told him, thanks for five!

i had just finished my cash out and took a moment in the office to unwind before i headed out as soapy and i would discuss how bad that server Jude really was...just then a server came in to tell us that the 10:00 reservation was partially arrived..and they were going to wait for their others before they ordered..but get this..after they placed their order they were going to go back to their rooms and have us call them when the food was ready...mind you, it's 1033, they are already 33 minutes late, and technically we are closed..(in reality we say we close at 1030, but as a service to our guests we extend those hours fifteen minutes after what we say...i know i know...why cant anyone tell the truth anymore?)

The chef is in the office and overhears all this as he is talking to his wife..he starts to make comments about how much he loves his life while mentioning something about putting a knife through someone's throat and him laughing at them...ahh, cook humor....he asks the server to get him a drink from the bar..this is about the time i decide to exit, and as i leave the office doors i, in my best chef impersonation, (as he does this weird high pitched noise when mocking people) say, "this place makes me drink" - soapy erupts into laughter as i hear chef muttering to himself...tonight, was a good night..

"hey do you know who my SA is back here - Oh it's me - Oh, well then that explains why i had to greet and water all my tables so far..." ~whoops

It's PeanutButter Jelly TIME!!!

it's like going back in time..
but you're just reading a blog...

it's moments like these, i wonder where the cameras are...

Today marks the 2 Year Anniversary of when the idea for the Triple Decker Peanut Butter, Jelly, and Honey sandwich was conceived! holy crap! and here's the proof in the pudding.

this finding came in light of yesterday's blog where i made mention to it being only two years ago from that day i was livin' it up in Piney Point Maryland with my pseudo-girlfriend and how it wasn't cold..well, after making such claims i went and searched my blog to see just what i was doing at that time...i made a bone-head error and set the time circuits for 2006 and found myself waking up to a different girl i wasn't supposed to be waking up to (who shall remain nameless..since everyone freaks out when i mention her) so i had to hit 88mph to jump ahead one year putting me back in good ol 19...err, 2007

as i read the days events of the 26th, i just kept on reading, reading til i got to the point i came across the pbj&h triple decker phenomenon....ok..it's more of a big deal to me than to anyone else...but every since that day, i have only made triple decker pbj's...it's just been a tradition i guess..and now....oh now i can happily recite the tale of how it came about, accuratlley recanting the details now including the date!

ohhh, what a day that was....











"i vaguely remember that...thank god i blog or i would have surely forgotten"

Ughhhhhh

i can't sleep..
i can't wake up...

if i could never have to sleep again and still function...35% of my problems would be solved...

today got off to a rough start...i didn't fall asleep until late last night, and in fact i had to go to the downstairs bed because it was so hot up top...that didn't make me too happy..so i wake up to my asstard of a roommate banging on something in the bathroom...this goes on long enough...how long is long enough...well, if it wakes me up, too long...it sounded as if he was hammering in nails to the wall, or banging some case against the sink...i don't know...he would later claim to have done no such thing...coool..the only people to use our bathroom is us and it apparently wasn't him...whistling...like that faggot always does....

ughhh...so i toss and i turn, never really getting any good sleep out of it...not wanting to get out of bed at any point because i haven't rested enough....i don't do anything on my list before work today...i just slowly get ready, pulling myself out of bed and into the shower..as i am dressing i get a phone call, normally i'd love talking to this person, but i had no time for it today..i was short and got off the phone on a bad note....

i went off to work....not happy, and knowing i would just become less happy (if at all possible) the moment my soul became sucked in by that place merely by walking in the doors...the night wasn't terrible...i was running four tables at one time...i haven't done that since...since....patio? good grief...out of practice for sure - which is the real sad thing...i remember a time, at my epoch, i could wait on ten tables flipping every 30 minutes with no real problem (mind you there was dancing in there every 20 minutes...but let's not talk about that)...ohhhh to be back in casual dining again....

i had my asshole for the night which caused me to lose the table i think...the man in position one on my pick-up booth was making shitty comments, implying to me and to the table as if i was somehow negatively effecting their dining experience...the man is lucky he didn't get the back of my hand...i'll let one comment go by overlooked, but the second...fuck you sir, fuck you.

the first interaction went down something like this:
Me: Alright ladies and gentleman, i know we still have that dessert coming but i was just wondering if i should go ahead and box that up for you, or if you had the room for it
*this being said because they ordered the "Dirty Thirty" special menu we have going on that includes soup/salad, choice of entree, two sides, and a dessert...and since they didn't eat all of their entrees i was simply making a convenient suggestion for them...
his response: well, how bout you bring them out so we can see the presentation and then you can box them up...

cooool..asshole....so i bring out the desserts...i am not trying to imply i am turning and burning this table, frankly..i don't care, it's not a table in my section so i don't need them to get up soon or stay for another hour...i don't care...i make my rounds check back..eventually i notice they have stopped eating...again i don't want them to feel rushed so i let them sit there and stew...just to make sure they didn't pick up a fork and start going at it again...no utensil movements, it's ok to go in...or so i thought..

Me: Alright, are we all finished here?
Ass: I don't know, are you all finished?
Me: Excuse me? AM i all finished?!
Ass: well looks like we are finished then
luckily the commotion in the restaurant was louder than normal and i don't think he really heard the tone in or my response what-so-ever...

whatever, since the table wasn't in my section, it really didn't have any effect on me...i mean i was already in a pissy mood...i'm not sure what was really stopping me from backhanding that asshole like he was my girlfriend....i mean he was rude, insulted me, and he would never break his conversation when i approached the table...wow, what was stopping me?

the night continued and i continued to server more Dirty Thirty's..the bane of the server's existence in downtown this week..i keep things somewhat lighthearted as my SA tells me i always can make him laugh..i mocked The Pickup Artist as i gave our food-runner Jesse tips on how to pick up women...that's about the time Hilary walked into the kitchen and asked what do i know about picking up woman...i retorted 'wait, wasn't i inside you?' - classic line from Waiting. i would also make a comment about one of the manager's preference on anal sex after i walked behind her for a moment..and then servers started to try to come up with double sexual meanings for the name "Jangus"...all in a days work...

after i got home i would later spend part of the night trying to convince people that i thought the Holocaust never happened..all because of this newslink video...and i say "the reasons why the 'Germans' didn't make the buildings designed to last long is because the Germans never built them...are you kidding me, German engineering is remarkable, Mercedes anyone...so these buildings would have for sure lasted the test of time...they were definitely built in a haste fashion by the Americans when they came barging into the motherland, errr, deutchland...." silly people...anything to make the Aryan race look bad...

obviously i'm kidding people.....

but the majority of the night would be spent, starring blankly at a computer screen...wondering why i can't fall asleep...knowing how much i'm going to hate life tomorrow when i can't wake up because i will not have fully rested...maybe i'll have another dream where i move to Florida...which for some reason in my dream is an island, like hawai'i......ohhh to think...this time two years ago...i was in piney point maryland..i had me a gf and it wasn't cold outside...

"tell me what this is from...'nobody puts Baby in a corner'?"

I Know it's Not Much

but i know you love me..
at least i got that..

soooo, what an awesome week

i really don't know what to say the highlight of my week was...could it be when my GM told me to 'check out the schedule' implying that he did me a favor by giving me more shifts because it was so busy this week and me realizing i was put on only for one extra night..a monday night at that... or could it be i had to pick up an SA shift so i could for the first time this year reach my sub-par money goal for the week..picking up an SA shit alone is retarded but given the fact it was needed, absolutely absurd...maybe it was the fact i was limited to half the cover counts on the busiest day we have ever had at the CG...or maybe it was when i couldn't work a shift this week without several refires or fuckups from the kitchen...the best of that statement is, i worked a breakfast shift today...how fucking hard is it?!

i talked with soapy today at work about reading my last post, about Mr B Hewey - i know..letting more people, management, know about the blog that really shouldn't - anyways..we discussed things briefly, she was in the middle of her inventory sheets and i didn't want to interrupt...she made a comment about the fraternization policies and she didn't want to get involved if it as something that was necessary..she also asked if i badmouthed the company to which i let her know that all names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, aka, me..

ohhh, how i hate these sunday mornings...i hate working breakfast in general...i never get any sleep...and then when i get home at 4 i am so tired i pass out..miss all my text messages, because people only text or call when i am sleeping, and now my day is ruined because A) everything closes early on sunday, ie 6pm, which is about the time i am waking up and 2) i will now not be able to fall asleep at a decent hour tonight...cooool

i really don't have much to say right now...i can't think clearly..i'm just haunted by the past....i had a running analogy earlier, but it slipped my mind...but here's a partial, quasi update to keep things going...i work tomorrow, so i'll do my best to get a post in..then it's wednesday through friday off...just me sitting around...waiting for my TV...waiting to watch these movies...drinking chocolate milk...wearing sandals when it's below freezing...cuz i'm dreaming of somewhere, anywhere, better than here

"i'm gonna Rick Roll your face off"

I Hate This Place

Mark it on the calendars..
first time in 09

wait...we aren't even out of the first month yet...ughh, this is gonna be a long year

Remember when i was on the cruise ship...and i hated life....i hated life so much that i coined the phrase, "This place makes me wanna go back to school" - that kinda carried over to CP the following season, although CP wasn't nearly as bad..i don't think...well, i came up with a new one today..good 'ol CGIndy to take the cake..."This place makes me wish i wasn't born" Yes, i found an establishment that i hate more than the cruise ship..

see, every restaurant job i have ever worked at has sucked balls..you know what...come to think of it....RR was the only restaurant job that i didn't hate...maybe at first, but it was my first restaurant job...it was like highschool all over again and i hated that..god, if i could only find the blogs i wrote about that place, what foreshadowing i would see for sure...sooo RR didn't suck or make me hate life, every job since then has at some point....some worse than others...

wait...if i look on a time line of my restaurants jobs charted as X and my hate for the place labeled as Y...it'd probably look something like this....

cooool....my hatred for a place is proportionally related to the older i get? hmmmm, that one needs some tweaking...

anyways....my reason for the hatred at CG is simple...the GM is a douchetool...now i know what you are saying...ohhh, everyone has one boss that sucks or blah blah blah....i really don't know what you'd be saying, i never listen to you anyways...well as my story goes...those who know me, and know me in the work environment...i'm what most would call a workhorse..i bust my balls day in and day out, giving it all i can..mediocrity and i don't get along...

now another trait that i have which actually works to my benefit is boredom..some call it curiosity...i call it boredom, but whatever....i like to work different positions at my workplace..i can't think of a job where i wasn't able to do several positions (no comments from the peanut gallery please....) i always start out trying to figure it out on my own, then eventually management would give in and maybe i would get the official training in said position, sometimes not...

i'd like to call myself an MVP as being the most versatile person in that establishment....and with that training comes responsibility...and also getting called on my days off to pick up whatever shifts need covered...to which i will 90% of the time oblige to...

but not now...i feel so under appreciated..i feel as if when i get called in, it's not because they thought of me because i'm a great employee..they are just covering their asses and need any willing body...i don't get any respect out of going the extra mile, no gratitude, thanks, or love thrown my way - this of course said about only one man in general..the general manager, or managing partner..same difference Mr B Hewey...every other manager in the place (like scott or soapy) sees what i do, or rather what i did and what potential i had and really like me ((i think))- maybe i'm just tooting my own horn and this isn't at all true

i can't think of how i wronged this one man in particular - i know i say it all the time, that i don't know what i did wrong (its all a conspiracy) - but this time, like all the times, it's absolutely true...and maybe i don't always get along with the GM in my work places, but they always know how valuable of an assets i really am...i know i'm not perfect, i make mistakes, i loved being called out, i'm always trying to better myself...but..but if i don't know when, where, or how i messed up...how can i fix that (JADE!)

so at this point i say that he his holding a grudge for no reason...i spent the better part of my employment in indy where it was just a job, i'd walk in the door, put my 6 hours in, and leave...i had little to no interaction with those i worked with, stayed out of the drama, did as i was asked, and did my thing...what more could you want...i even thought for a second i may have a little bit of an advantage with the GM - what with both of us being republican and all..sharing a common ground..but nope..i got nothing...

that's all i got for now, there will be a part II...i'm heading to bed because it's 5am and i work at 8am...cooooooool

"i got your mission statement right here..."

Endorphin High

in pain
but happy?

sooooo, i overloaded myself on endorphins and..i feel...great? go figure..i had the day off, granted it started less than five hours into my sleep with a phone call asking me to come in for a lunch shift...which i let the voicemail take care of...yeah i know i need shifts...but a lunch only...ughh, crap on that..i originaly thought i was being called in for a dinner shift, but that was not the case, so no phone call back to work was needed...

the phone call was good because it woke me up from a scary dream...almost repetitious like i had it before, but whatever..i was up for the next three hours before i finally fell back asleep on the phone cool.

230 rolls around and i'm back up..why do i feel like ass...ughh, maybe i shouldn't have fallen back asleep...it takes me awhile to wake up and get going..a long time in fact...but once the ball gets rolling i'm on a move...a little jerking off before i head out the door to get my blood flowing and start this day off right! from the apartment its over to the tanning place, which is conveniently right around the block...it's probably been a good month plus in which i havent tanned - i know you could tell by my appearance - so i figured its good to start 09 off right, right?

after the 12 minute bake it's off to the gym - where i start with a 20 minute cardio bike ride...now here's what pissed me off...i was biking at 100 rpms and my heart rate was somewhere around 125 - granted i was on the hill course and also on level four - but as i read the little chart off to the side it said i needed my heartrate to be somewhere around 160 for 85% and a cardio workout...so i say, ok..let's put the pedal to the..carpet, apparently there's carpet in here....so i get the rpm's up to 130 or so, somewhere to the breaking point..any faster and my feet are gonna fly off this thing...i look at my heart rate, 105.....wait what? how are my rpm's and heartrate inversely related...ughh, i hate this...

from the cardio it was time for my back workout...i don't even know what i'm doing...but i think i'm doing it wrong because of the pain i am in..i love to push myself, and i love to max out on my last rep...sooo, my back...hates me...

i make it back home and i notice a spring in my step...i'm as happy as a...whats a good analogy...a dick in a vagina...and i'm about to throw up....i'm calling my grandparents, sending kissy faces online, i'm just having a good ol time...and i stop and ask myself...is this a typical state for normal people? i mean, my angry every day attitude is the norm for me...sooo, is this how normal people feel everyday, just content with everything?

let's see how long it lasts...

"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fly away - i'm content with that"

Flopped..

best orator ever...
i..er...fuck..

Obama flopped, way to fail even before being sworn in...hey liberals, your Allah is not a god, he goofed up but you're too blind by your hypocrisy to see that, "oh it was nice to see a president be human"- but when bush did something wrong, "What a complete idiot..i can't believe he's president" Way to RE-ELECT him fucktards...ughh, i'm done

read this, it's good










"I Barack Hussein Obama...still suck at life"

Old Habits..

keep coming back...
like an unwanted quest...

ughhh, new year, same old shit really....

i'd like to start off by apologizing, i had a good run at updating, but per usual, it didn't last long...i really do not have a reason other than my sleep schedule has once again gone haywire...i've been up to all hours of the night, whether it's staring blankly at a computer screen or then tossing and turning in bed for the remainder....i am not certain what sparked the lack in sleep again, but it's here and it sucks...

now you may say, well, if you are up all night, why don't you use that time to blog - fair enough - the reason is....let's try this...have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours...and do you remember how your brain functions...or how bout any time you've been so tired you barely make it to bed (ie falling asleep in the car or in line) - right, well, that's me minus the sleep....at those times at night i cannot function to my normal standards...and formulating words into sentences that people will read is quite a difficult task....

so tonight i am going to take one of my last two sleep aids...i'm hoping this chemical interference will put the train back on track...if not, well..i just wasted a pill i consider it's value to amount to its weight in gold...

so goodnight, it's worth a shot..

"i'm just a fuck up who's full of hate, lies, and bile"

Well...

nothing...
to say now....

this was originally going to be an angry post..but as the night grew on i became a little ill....first having a weird headache, and now, well, now my stomach is turning on me....so i can't fully get out all the anger at all the bastards i need to..so i'll save it for...tomorrow? who knows, we'll see...

another day off..another day of nothing...at least today was a little warmer - i got to go to the gym today, but that didn't necessarily make me feel good...in fact whenever i workout i feel like i am about to puke, never any fun...the TV repair man came over today - i swear this company, these guys, they were around when the first TVs came out..and i hate them...he replaced some things on the tv - a new motherboard and a new power supply (sounds like a computer) and after he got it back together....still had the same problem...coooool....so he took it with him

in all honesty i was hoping the tv would have been fixed for a day or so, so that i could call samsung and get someone else on the job to fix the tv...because the run around i have had with these amatuers is enough to make me pull out my hair...as gary said, glad you aren't paying for it - and even if i were, i wouldn't be in the end...

the man reaked of smoke...and i know my tv will smell just as bad when he returns it..just after the smell had finally disappated from the first trip, ughhhhh..but that was just one of the many things wrong with today

the people who were supposed to join gary and i to watch My Bloody Valentine 3D never replied back, and others, well they just didn't have time for us...and then to top it off one of my friends got super shitty with me - someone who not too long ago sat there by my side and told me of how much a fuck i wasn't, pretty much took back all of their words today...coooool, i love being called a liar, i love when my words get manipulated, i love when people think 'they have me all figured out' - know my 'game'. Look, if you knew me as a sarcastic bastard before, why can't you remember that for the present...you want to really know what my game is - i press buttons, i'm a button presser...i know what gets to you and i want you to man up and deal with it, enter me getting on you about it all the time....if you want to distort that into some falsity, well, go right ahead, i guess you really don't know me after all...

and another thing....sex....sex..you know what, this could be it's own post and i really don't have the stomach at the moment for it...let me say this really quickly before i go, fuck it, i really don't care after all...

great...now my head is starting to hurt..my sleep patern is back out of whack...what a great way to start off the year..month of january = 744 hours...i can probably do sleep in double digits....

"Soooo, does this mean we aren't getting married in 4 years?"

Privacy

your space..
nuh uh...

you can't look, so don't touch...

you know something else that bothers me...when i get this message "This profile is set to private. This user must add you as a friend to see his/her profile." this is the craziest thing ever...let me start by saying, every profile i have checked on the new app myspace has, the 'people you may know' tool in response to facebook's 'people you may know' tool has had this privacy setting on their profile...really people?! get a fucking clue!

ok, myspace and facebook are social networking devices..you are supposed to be able to make new friends, find old friends, network, date, etc...if you don't want the whole world knowing your credit card number...then don't put it out there - if you don't want people knowing your phone number..don't put it out there - if you don't want guys wanking it to pictures of you in your two piece bikini from your trip on spring break...too bad, keep putting them out there...

but seriously...if i am looking through profiles, trying to find people who have very picky and yet similar tastes - like loving home movies or parker lewis can't lose - but i can't because you have your stupid thing set to private..then what's the fuck?!

now now...i know some of you who actually know me well enough to stalk, er, follow me on other forms know i have a myspace..and for that matter, know that i have mine set to private - let me explain! unlike facebook, myspace does not have the option to 'accept' or 'ignore' an invitation request for a new friend. this comes in handy when i have people i don't care for or crazy stalkers trying to 'be friends' with me...

i wish i could make up the last one, but sadly it is for reals...there's really only one stalker i have that i actually fear - this person has been known to call or write my workplace and make outrageous claims to get me in trouble, for that reason i have tried to keep my distance from that person and keep as much information away as well..

when those particular people want to 'just be friends' on facebook i have found an easy solution..don't accept...don't ignore...pocket veto them...just keep that friend request there (this is especially implemented when you ignore their first request..) by keeping it there they no longer have the ability to request you again, and you can live your life without knowing how many times they tried to request your friendship..its win win...

but as for myspace....not so easy....i always fought to keep a myspace profile public..its what it is intended for...but then one day, out of the blue, i got a sense of paranoia...i don't know what it was, i didn't call my doctor, instead i went to my myspace settings and made my profile private...i think it was just a test at first, but then my fears became true....within 24 hours i had a friend request from my stalker...when i saw this request my paranoia was confirmed with a queasy feeling in my stomach..how long had they been on myspace...how much do they know...are my friends in danger...i did what any responsible person would do and notified my top friends (before it was randomized) and those who left comments on my wall...err, whatever myspace calls it

but that's just one person..and that's just my life....i doubt that everyone single person that has their profile set to private have a similar scenario...some crazed ex or stalker or whatever....that's just my life...so other people, chill the fuck out and make it public....

ps i understand people making private posts for blogs and things like that...journals and diaries and such usually contain content that is 'for their eyes only' - only makes sense..i have no qualms with that...

"This profile is set to private. This user must add you as a friend to see his/her profile."

Twitt This

i
hate

you know what really grinds my gears?

there's this application called "Twitter"..some of you may be familiar with it, i know i am blue35tuesday - but for those of you who do not know...what twitter is, essentially, is a quick blog. a short blog for the fast paced world...see, nobody now-a-days has the time to sit through the countless blogs tabbed on their bookmarks and read the endless dribble...what you need is a cliff notes version into people's lives, enter Twitter..

With Twitter you can make a post, follow friends or whomever, make replies to their posts, and send messages directly to people as well...now these posts are called "Twitts" and here is my problem...for some reason people have got on this 'kick' to call the posts "Tweets"....listen people..it's not called "Tweeter" it's called Twitter.....just like a program called "Blogger" allows you to make "Blogs" and not...'blarts'..you see my point..i fucking hate you all...

this post is dedicated to jillhanner..and thanks to her little shout out in her youtube blog.....

"it's fucking twitter!"

Too Cold

temps go down
anger goes up

and i do not have time for this....

ughhh, i hate the cold - i've said it before, i'll say it some more...the older i get the less tolerable the cold is - and a lot of people will scoff because i'm only in my twenties...well, you know the plethora of saying's, "Life is too short to deal with winter or drink cheap beer"

i hate the winter for a number of reasons, mainly, the cold...the cold affects every facet of my life and anything that makes me change my life i am not a fan of. Now i am a fan of layers and long sleeves, pants, etc - hell, when i was in hawai'i the only thing that made me not seem like a tourist was the fact i wore a jacket and pants when i went out in the 70 degree weather..just like the natives.. But what i hate is wearing too many layers, obtrusive layers, gloves that make everyday functions more difficult...bundling up..fuck all that..

and what i don't like is how simple functions or activities cannot be done...a simple task of taking the trash to the dumpster or getting the mail now takes too much effort, what with the getting 6 layers of clothes on when all you wanna do is lay around on the couch all day in your boxers...the thought of doing all that makes me not even do it...i wanted to put the xmas decorations back into storage that's connected to our patio, but it's taken me til now to do it because i never wanted to get bundled up for such a small project...

i'm sure the studies will show places where the temps drop to below freezing vs places that do not, you will see a significant difference in the rates of depression, and even suicide. now i've always said i would never want to move to california or florida or anywhere warm like that, that doesn't have the seasonal change i am used to - all in all because it would mess with my head to be celebrating xmas and have there be no snow on the ground...but you know what...fuck all that...

this is just a rant about how i hate the cold..i know most of you will just use the line, if you don't like it, then change it...well...it's in the works, so fuck all you

"If i can't put my top down on my convertible all year, i'm not living here"

Coooooool

a
lot

alright...so it's the new year and i've shat on all my resolutions it seems....

i need to get back in the habit of doing this.....like for reals....i know i keep saying that, but my intentions are good..i suppose. now that there isn't much going on in my life, i should have all the time in the world to do something...but that's the funny little thing about life..when i was working two jobs i would have killed to have more time off to do things...then i had one job and did less things..and now i have a job i work two days a week and do nothing but sleep, grab my tits and stare at my ass all day...i don't have the motivation for things that i could care less about...or wait, things that are trivial, or...things that...i don't know

so let's start blogging again - despite those who may stand in my way - and let's do more...i started hitting the gym on a regular basis before the year ended...but now it's sporadic and inconsistent...i need to start doing that again...you know i was told, or overheard, or something one time that said, "it's funny how you stop doing all those little things you used to do for yourself once you get someone else in your life" now i'm not blaming cpydi's visit for my gym attendance going down, but it's true, when you start adding more variables into the equation, something's gotta give...

i wanted to "be nicer" this year - get your laughs in now...you know that shit didn't last long at all...the problem i have is that people be stupid...i have no tolerance for people because i know what they are capable of. i expect top notch performances out of them everytime, sure people fail and make mistakes, that's what makes us human, but it's the ignorance that really gets under my skin. when people do shit that pisses me off, i think i take it to heart, and my way of dealing with it is letting them know how pissed i am, i don't come off nicely...

for example...my douchetool of a roommate gary is responsible for the trash...let me go on record right now and say he's the one who gave himself this responsibility, i continue. now when the trash gets full...it sits..and gets fuller, as in overflowing...then eventually the bag gets removed and placed next to the garbage can...but no bag replaces the old one....so then trash gets thrown into the can, and all around the old bag...*(side note, on two occasions we have actually taken all the trash and piled it up around his bedroom door so he could get the hint to take it out)* i see no reason for the lack of action and naturally i get pissed...he defends himself saying, he'd take care of it when he got back from *insert random place like gym or work or eating* so my offense goes on and start making shity comments...my counter-defense is that taking care of the trash is a chore NOT to be completed when it is convenient for you, but rather when it is needed. it's not like cleaning out your room which only effects you, this is something that ripples down to everyone...you couldn't just stroll into your 4pm shift at 515 because you were out doing other things..no, work is a chore, taking out the trash is a chore and you will jump when they give out the orders....what an asshole...

but then, here i am, i'm the asshole because i just called someone out on something, called then an asshole, made them look like a doofus..i guess i have no tact for confrontation when things get in my opinion, retarded.

i don't know where my high standards for others came, i hold high standards for myself, i know what people are capable of, i know what people should do, or at least what i think i know what people should do..greater good and all that shit, and i just hate it when people can't excel to that level...

i try to make people better themselves all the time as well....even though in the end i realize i just bring out the worst in everyone. if i see someone has a sincere desire or passion to do something, i turn into little motivator larry (ok, i just made that up, i don't know what i am talking about with that name...) i think it stems from the fact i have no passion, i don't know what i want, so i live vicariously through other people...wanting them to reach their goals with a little help from me, giving me a sense of accomplishment...

like the chick on the cruiseship who envied me for writing everyday, i kicked her in the ass and got her going..that's all people really need, a little bit of a motivational kickstart and they are on their way....it's like in physics, sure you may only need x amount of force to keep an object moving consistently, but that initial push is greater than the minimal continuing force..all because of the coefficient to static force....wait, when was i last in physics...

i helped a girl a week ago, i think...she doesn't have a driver's license and has never really driven a car. when she has, it's always been just practicing with someone who doesn't have the time..well, i've been told i have the patience of Job, or a saint, or something meaningful like that...of course, the way i help it's always impromptu...the person then feels on the spot..but i feel that this is best for the lesson...if that person can really trust you, then there should be no problem with the teaching..i have the patience, just listen to me...once the person tries to give up or says they can't, i lose my patience and become a bit more aggressive..like when i told her to park in the handicapped spot and she said no and tried to exit the car - with a lean over onto the brake pedal i put it back into drive...she parked the car in the end....

i guess if it's one thing i can do, it's make people feel comfortable around me - feeling comfortable gives way to a sense of trust whether false or real it's apparent none-the-less...i've always heard the best pictures come from when a client feels comfortable with the photographer..that's partially why i thought i would always do well in that field..

i guess that's why people fall in love with me so fast too...feelings of comfort...feelings of trust...the close intimacy...

well, my mind sucks right now so i'm taking a sleeping pill to clear the conscious....

1 - If you were to die today, would your life be complete?
2 - well, yeah, I mean, I’d be dead, I couldn’t do much after that...

It's a New Year

new beginnings..
not really..

yay...a new year, a time for new...things?

so i brought in the new year a lot better than i brought in '08...granted it was not completely how i wanted it to be, but, a step up is still a step up, and that's all we need right, baby steps? i was with friends, i wasn't at work, i drank champagne, i had balloons fall on me, i kissed a girl at midnight, all things good, just one element missing really. speaking of kissing a girl...i think..i think that this was the first ever new years i've rung in by kissing a girl, a legitimate kiss and a legitimate girl

looking back i can recall countless times of me and a girlfriend supposed to be spending the end of the year together, but for whatever reason, through whatever arrangements, it's never worked out...'01 through '04 the bitch of an ex always started a fight with me and would purposefully not be with me on that time..this would later come to bite her in the ass in '06 when she tried to come down to btown and 'redeem' herself for years prior...i blew her off, it was unannounced and we hadn't spoke in a long time..it was just weird...that's not how a romance story begins...

ughh, sorry, off topic...last year i rang in the new year with douche tools in a restaurant bearing my own name, away from all forms of family or friends or lovers...i vowed to never work on NYE again, i'd take the hit to my bank account on that one and call it a night...i need to have some sort of normal life..

my new years day really consisted of nothing...i watched football games, felt bad to be apart of the big 10, built a gingerbread house, and just enjoyed the days off...i toyed with new years resolutions and sayings...what's popular seems to be "Fine in '09" - honestly i don't know what that means, i'm content with '09 as long as it is better than the year prior....a resolution i'm gonna try is, "being nice in '09" - we will see how long that lasts...especially after i already made a girl cry because i "put her on the spot" - whatever...i just try to help people, and its usually an awkward situation...maybe i'll stop being a better person in hopes to be nice...what a twist...

"Hoooouse"

Peace, I'm Outta Here

screw you '08
and whatnot

out wit the old, in with the new, auld lang syne, and all that same ol shit people say

so the year is officially coming to a close..."something great in '08"...i remember saying that...i don't remember that actually happening..i suppose a lot happened..but then again a lot can happen in a day, a week, a month..a lifetime...it's all a point of relevance really...

sooo, let's recap the year to the best of my ability....

started bringing in the new year at work, in the hole, sans girlfriend, sans best friend, only surrounded by coworkers, holding a phone, almost in tears because it was probably the worst way to ring in the new year to date...i vowed to never having to work new years at midnight again...there was a break, then a trip to florida where i found out disney world is the happiest place on earth..when you're drunk...

my first time ever being there thanks to faulty promises made by my mother...so i went with my boyfriend...ears and bears, medieval times gave me soup, i watched a dog get beat for no reason, and i made us look like tourists as we drove with the top down in 60 degree weather...but sadly we had to return to reality which settled in as we stepped off the plane into the cleveland airport where the snow and twenty degree weather blew over my sandals...i tried to secure my stay in ohio, for the greater good..but that deal went south, err west, err, i went west...back to indy..

through convenience the west and i got back together...i made the transition to food runner at my job and found a place to officially live...i continued to work two jobs and travel back and forth to the hole...at one point i was traveling the 70 mile trip without brakes on my car...my birthday came and i worked a double, but in the end all was well...the girl i was dating went back to CP for the summer, which opened up a can of worms..

i quit my job in the hole as they needed me less...jade came over to spend a day with me and even though it started out well, by the end of it we were telling each other to fuck off and die...july fourth spent in chicago - not a really fun time, but i tried to make the most of it..later in the month came a trip to CP which panned out nicely, even made a stop over in the rowdy to visit TJ...

i finally became a server after the race in indy and TJ came out to indy...we looked like idiots trying to get scalped tickets for the Dark Knight release...bad planning as always led to us watching the movie in a regular theater and not IMAX. i began biking to work, but it lasted only a month up until my bike got stolen from work..on a shift i wasn't even supposed to be at technically.

i made a trip out to see my grandparents out in MO, too late to see my dog one last time though..school started but that doesn't concern me...september 11th proved to be a date of significance when the girl i was dating decided then we should break up...two days later she fucked someone else....this allowed for me to rekindle things out east..but the winds of change would soon blow that out too

i looked for an outlet and found it in various forms...i started hanging out with people once again which soon led to the move from the crazy cat ladies place - that and the fucking cat box was put back outside..i grew up a bit and tied myself down by signing a lease for a year on the southside of town.

through a series of mis-events and anomalies a new bond was formed with a girl on upsetting terms. a first date to hold a record for the ages and another michigan loss to oswho..not to mention a michigan season not worth mentioning..the holidays came and i hated them more than i did the years prior, naturally...the economy fell, work got slow, i began to work less, and an unqualified black man became president of the united states free world...

so 08 turned out to be a crapshoot...i'm sure i missed a bunch of other events but i don't remember anything...sooooo....whatevs....

"what's the quote of the year?"

My Holiday

What's cooler than cool?
the region!

Cold just got colder, and pitch black just got darker...

what a crazy weekend... how i survived with my sanity or killing something is beyond me...it all started on saturday..in typical jangus fashion i was trying to cram 3 days worth of activities into 6 hours - so naturally that made me a little behind schedule - although how is it a schedule when it's destined to fail and makes you push back everything all day long..i guess it's plan of sorts...

so after running around all day long, getting in a quick leg workout, buying presents, cheese, wine, whatever else i headed off on my drive, behind schedule of course....what time i lost during the day i was making up on the drive..getting closer and closer to my goal, NWI...i breached the time change, the point of no return..i thought i was gonna make it..i thought wrong...

after hitting the 230 mile marker, less than 10 miles from my exit, i run into my first problem - the one that started the avalanche for the problems to come...i feel a little loss in control in the steering, i feel a rumble, i know what is going on...i pull off to the side of the road...I-65 doesn't leave much room in the margin, but i do the best i could to get over..or so i thought...i see my tire is flat, upon further inspection..it's shredded...coooool. i get out the jack and throw on my spare - doing so makes me very nervous...my hazards keep deciding to randomly turn off, my car is black, it's already dark out, and my heels as i kneel down are inches off the white line..

i stare into the oncoming traffic as i change tires...this just made me lose all the time i had made up...ughh, back behind schedule...i hop back in the car and continue my drive...i'll deal with the tire tomorrow..not even a minute on the road, i barely got my car up to 70 before i felt a shake and a rumble again - maybe, i think to myself, i just didn't tighten my lugnuts enough, i was in a hurry...i pull over, and as i open the door i hear the hiss of my spare....again, another tire blown..i chuckle because, well, what was there to do...

i make a call to the b's and they come and pick me up...luckily like i said i was less than ten miles from the exit...the party can start now that everything weird has just gotten things going...the next day the temperatures plummet to negative four degrees...with wind chill it's negative retarded degrees..i decide to get my car towed now, as opposed to last night..another mistake...because the car has sat in the open plains with hellishly cold wind ripping through it, my car is dead, battery, engine, whatever, dead...i know this even before heading out when the cars in the driveway at the house are frozen solid and won't start either..

the car get's towed back to the house, it is dead, i call off from work..they aren't too happy..i'm not happy...i'm missing out on two of my five shifts for the week...and not only am i loosing out on that money, i've got to go out and buy shit for my car....cooool...best trip ever...

so we get z's car started and around five he heads on back to lafayette..just in time too because that's when we lost power...so, cool, it's below zero and we lost power..i love going to the region...

i took a nap, and looking back, that is probably the worst thing you can do when the power gets out...ok, here's my logic = i took my nap and i woke up a couple hours later, waking to a colder house, and awake...sooo, next time, i'll stay awake as much as i can, gathering up all the blankets, making a fort, light candles in the fort..then when the time comes...many hours later, ball up and sleep..with like twelve coats...by the time i wake, maybe power will be back on? it was probably 5 to 6 hours before the power came back on..the temperature got below 60...

i was cold and hungry....mind you, i came dressed for 40 degree weather, the temperature i left indy with...and mind you, i only packed for a trip that was supposed to last a night, hours if that...my phone is dead, my car was dead, the power was dead...amazing...

the next day i get a tire for my car, no replacement for the spare, but oh well...the temperature has gone up...it's only like 10 but, with no wind like on I-65 and negative temps i am content...so after all is said and done i try to jump my car...no go...i leave the cars hooked up for what seemed like an hour, trying jumps intravenously in between..no go....then i pull out the battery, out of the back seat, and take it down the road to get it tested...over an hour later, the battery is ruled to be no good....and the only replacement they have is the most expensive one they carry....cooooool....i guess it was time for a battery, the old one was the car's original...

i'd never taken a battery out of a car, and i've heard all the horror stories of batteries exploding, people getting shocked...so i am weary of the whole process...here's tools, go at it....somehow, with Divine intervention i made it work...i put the battery in, and it started...oh my god...i was ecstatic..i quickly said my goodbyes, probably forgot somethings, and got on the road...mind you the inside of my car had frost in it...

got gas before i got back onto the highway, used the hot food i purchased to defrost my windshield and got on the road...all i wanted to do was get back to indy...probably the first time i've ever said that phrase...but it was monday night and i wanted to watch the bears play...

sped home, grabbed 20 arby's sandwiches, and made it home in time for kickoff...somehow?

"there's no place like home"

I Want a Hippopotamus for Xmas

well, that's for you...
me..are my ears on straight?

here's a winner for ya...

sometimes i wonder why i do the things i do - sure i've gone through life being able to justify every single move i've taken..i just wished i didn't have to at times. this time i ask myself if what just happened was a very 'natural' response or was it the right thing that i actually meant to do for once.

if i understood me, if just for a moment, life would be different..but i don't have time for that sort of thing, one of the many mysteries...it's much easier understanding others than it is yourself.

i've been talking with Jade lately, well, talk is an exaggeration, we've sent a couple emails back and forth in the past month..i feel as if maybe she's known me the best, which is comparable to having a live bomb in your hand...it's good if you know how to throw it and use it to your advantage, but you never know when it's going to go off...i've had my fair share of problems with her and i think right now i am keeping a safe distance, even though we both have stressed the acute apprehension with a warm embrace..

"..i did what i did, it feels wrong, i feel bad, and i feel like i am still an asshole...was it the right thing?"

and then there are a lot of times i just have no idea what is going on...i feel this a lot, mainly all the times in arguments with girls...god, the ex would tell me all the things she thought i was doing wrongly, she'd be so upset, and i'd just sit there..i'd say my piece one time..the fight would continue and be brought up again, i wouldn't repeat myself because obviously that did a whole lot of good..so i just said, "i don't know what to say", because, in all honesty, i didn't know what else to say...she was upset for some irrational reason that i tried to tell her otherwise, it didn't work, and i wasn't about to stop hanging out with friends because she had a complex...

maybe understanding people is harder than i thought...people will bitch at me, bitch me out, try to call me out, and i just sit there..let them type away all their dirty little thoughts, and when they are finished they want a response, so i throw up the standard, "ok, cool" and i leave. i don't have time to be bothered by things i don't understand..if i did, i'd go to school and take chemistry..hell, i would have taken chemistry, but no, i didn't have time for that shit...

then people get mad because i 'ran', and you know what i tell them.. well, it's easier to leave than be left behind

the reason why i love Vanilla Sky so much, ill-fated relationships..trying to make the other people in his life happy..it doesn't work out, does it...as much as i may like saying it, i think i found my vanilla sky.

what's interesting is, sure i like being the asshole, i can't go a moment of my life without being an asshole, sometimes it just comes out too naturally - like tonight when there were several of us polishing win glasses right after we finished polishing silverware and making our sets, one of the closing servers said, "ok guys it's really great that your hitting up the glasses like that, but we've got..oh, about four racks of silverware we need to work on" - as the disgruntled faces started to form i quipped back with, 'glad you can count Dracula'..the heads that turned back to me...

but what i don't like is when i can control whether or not i am the asshole...if i can go through something whether it's faking it or whathave you, as long as i am not being an asshole to people, i am happy...that's what makes certain things in life so hard...whichever road you take, regrettably you're gonna be called the asshole..and i've always avoided that road because in this instance i can control that..i get to be the asshole enough in life, if i can go a time period where i'm not, i'll do it....but, naturally, it ends up, i'm the asshole..

oh i'm the asshole, I'M the asshole?!?..oh wait, right, i am

i never meant to do any harm, i never do..i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to make you cry, i never meant you cause you trouble, i never meant to lie so this is goodbye

"You were missed, David. It was Sofia who never fully recovered. It was she who some how knew you best... and like you, she never forgot that one night where true love seemed possible."

YOU!

and me
and everyone we know

So i figured since i talk so much shit, i should be able to back it up, enter: The Gym...i'm just a scrapper anyways, but what i lack in strength i make up for in...retarded determination...sure i'll get hit the majority of the time, sure i'll be bloody, sure i'll be knocked on the ground...but if it's one thing you all know about me..i'll keep standing back up....

so, i figure i'll add some muscle, gain some weight, get me to some sort of a healthy level and be happy...speaking of happy..working out is a blast...i'm probably the only person who can go to the gym, work out to exhaustion, and be smiling and giggling like a school girl

so i take these multi-vitamins twice a day, because i was told to, and it has made me piss super bright yellow - it's like a highlation of piss on the yellow brick road...i bet if i were to turn off the lights it would still emit light...i have to wear sunglasses to piss..do not look directly at the stream...

speaking of piss....i piss so much now it's retarded...after my workout today i swear my bladder failed, i felt like my grandpa, having to piss every thirty minutes...it is like a night of drinking, after i break the seal my body tries to rid itself of all the liquid in my body to replace it with alcohol...and not to mention waking up 5 hours after i fall asleep and have to piss...i need a bed pan...

speaking of hospitals, TJ is in the hospital this week, sleeping on a cloud, eating the walls which are made of candy, having half naked scantily clad nurses answer his ever beckon call...man...fantasy land ohio...i'm glad i left

and had to get a real job and have my heart broken..fuck ohio and it's candy cane stripper poles..i'm living it up in 50 degree one day 20 the next indiana..where the purdue butterface girls go back home to their farms, the IU girls go back to New Jersey..where NWI means 'No Where in Indiana' or 'we're really chicago..honestly...'

come to think of it....southern indiana doesn't even exist to me...i mean..bloomington isn't really southern indiana...but it's the place furthest south i've really spent a large amount of time in..i mean, i've been two evansville once or twice..i've been to aurora indiana, both were for boats coincidentally enough..well, kinda...the end result at least..

conclusion...indiana sucks...and even though i probably said it last year, i don't want to spend another cold ass winter in the midwest...i absolutely hate..i'd probably sell my soul to not live in this weather anymore..i've done my time, now let me go...

"sure jesus can walk on water, but i can swim through land"

I Hate the Cold..

jews, blacks, homosexuals
..and holidays

i feel as if i am stuck inside of mobile with those memphis blues again...

one liners...that's all it seems to be, that's all we seem to remember...parts of movies, books, life...maybe twitter has it right all along...140 characters is all you need to sum up something, anything more and i won't remember

i voiced my opinion about my shitty scheduling today at work, but it wasn't like i rehearsed it as it was sprung up to me at random while on the dining room floor..so i couldn't blow up or threaten anyone without a guest within earshot of me hearing it all...i remember part of the conversation going "well, what's your schedule look like this week - crap..a big pile of crap - *shocked* crap? - yeah, today consists of 2 of my 5 shifts this week....." hopefully something gets done..

not gonna lie, i was shitty to start my shift off at work today...walking into that place made me hate my life a little more - it's all the stress of not having a decent schedule or decent shifts on top of it..it's bad enough the economy sucks right now, i'm working minimal hours during the 'good' time of the year with the shittiest shifts...coooool...all i want for xmas this year is everything

i don't fear the man who has everything to lose, rather i fear the man who has nothing

i cant wait for this holiday season to be over...i said it last night, i'll say it again, fuck xmas...i think i am becoming more and more of a scrooge every year because every year i have less and less to be thankful for or celebrate..i remember saying "something great in ohh eight", and it's almost fucking over...xmas is next week....i work both xmas eve and xmas day..i think i did last year too...i wish i could just sit at home alone and watch movies like i did two years ago...that was a good xmas...

but i learned from last year..having to work on new year's eve...i wanted to be with my best friend, my girlfriend, i wanted to be in chicago....i made sure to get NYE and NYD off...but, i don't think anything other than having those days off will happen..i guess take what you have, or can get, settle...settle..because, ehh, what's it worth to you anyways...

i hate how my room turns into a sauna at night...i turn off the heat for the apartment and the place will turn into an icebox, except my room..i'm halfway tempted to open my window...i mean i've opened all the vents all the way in the house and closed off mine..yet, nothing but 80 degrees and me waking up in a sweat

well, funk all this...i'm retarded and picked up a shift for tomorrow when i was supposed to go to the auctions..

i am my own undoing

"Fuck Wheat Thins!"

Just Sore

gearing up..
for the wind down..

I'm trying to get back on track with this blogging thing..it seems, even though as much as i may have bitched, things went a lot better for me...i was getting better schedules, better shifts, life was just shitty...now..well, now everything is shitty, even my piss...

i'll go back to "day-logging" because as long i am ranting and telling my daily run-arounds i'm doing something...and isn't that what most blogs are anyways...isn't that what made 'the waiter' so famous...so i'll turn around to my back pages, stealing something from myself, a road traveled many a times that has proven to have worked for me...

this holiday season has really been lackluster for me and my restaurant...besides being only schedule 3 days - granted it is 5 shifts - suck ass shifts - i haven't worked a Friday or Saturday night in over a month...i've been scheduled more lunch shifts than dinner shifts every week, and now that the lunches are projected to be busier than dinner, i have but two lunch shifts...it's like they are maliciously trying to fuck me...

i've been starting to go to the gym...i'm not sure what has really motivated me, maybe it's the guys i live with going all the time, maybe it's something to do because i don't work any more, maybe i can try out for the Detroit lions next season...nahh, they've got a good team...browns would be more up my alley..

an addendum to my last blog - no physical 6 packs..you can have abs of steel that's fine, you can be in shape, cool...but defined muscles are such a turn off - in addition to the family thing, the mother's must like me...only in my history have two mother's of girls i was seeing not liked me...i no longer speak to those two girls (like mother, like daughter...no matter how much you say you aren't like her...) - i said it in my comments but in highschool we had a system take the girl's IQ and subtract her weight, the higher the positive number, the better she scored..no cat lovers..must love dogs....

i hate that my right calf keeps twitching...i hate being in pain, but i get a kick out of what i do i guess...i hate the cold..it seems as if every year i experience the cold, the less i get used to it and the more i come to hate it...this makes me believe any possible thought of moving to the city i so love would never happen...love conquers all, except temperature...

i hate that these daily vitamins turn my pee into highlighter yellow...i swear it's worse than radioactive...i bet if you turn off the lights you'd see my piss glowing in the dark.. a nice trail from the bathroom to my room - you know, because i walk around naked, and i don't shake it when i'm done..i just let it drip as i walk back into my room...

my TV is busted, came that way, so now i am having a technician come and take a look at it tomorrow...coooool...if anything goes right for me, it happened in the past...

for those of you who were kept up to date or followed the drama that was my exgirlfriend, you missed yet another great chapter into her book about two weeks ago...as much as i would like to say, that's the last you've heard from her..just like a horrible B horror movie...the evil monster never dies just once..so she had her sequel...but what scary movie ends on just two..

that's all i got for right now...tomorrow i work a double, so coool...one of my three days, two of my five shifts, seven out of the nine things in my life that are causing my stress...

"if you're gonna do what you want, why even ask other's for their advice"

Report Card

Do's and Don't Do's
what's your grade?

there's been talk and speculation about 'what type of girl is a jangus girl' - and despite some of the insulting remarks and pathetic conclusions i decided to break the silence. most of the time i'll have people point out the scarf and chuck taylor wearing while listening to some unknown band on her ipod scene girl, and as much as y'all may think it it fits..it's only so much...i love music more than the next person, and i have my own sense of style which may not fit the social norm, but two negative magnets don't attract - those people are good to talk to about things i can relate to, go to shows with, be friends essentially..but date, no. now there is no set in stone qualifications so i don't want you to hold this against me, but i digress...

* Must have worked in the service industry - preferably a serving position - mainly i don't want some rich bitch who has no sense of money or understanding for the 'people under her' - it's all about compassion really..and serving is one of the hardest/easiest things to do....i go out to eat a lot and a bitch that is, well, a bitch, is no bitch for me...

which leads me into the next point

*midwest girl - girls from the west coast (ohh, i'm generalizing here..) have a less appreciation for things - that's why they don't have winter...and girls from the eat coast...well, we all know the term JAP..again, no appreciation or understanding...

*i'm a boob man...pretty much any size..granted there are cutoffs for to small or too large, yes, there can be too much of a good thing..now i can appreciate a good ass...but i guess i really dont have the full comprehension on what a 'good ass' really is...i like cleavage and bouncing bosoms..

*i like my girls shorter than me...but i do like them short short, like 5'1" or so...maybe that's weird...but i like petite girls...small, short, little frames - any bit of fat frightens me, or sickens me..i'm sorry, it's shallow, but one of my biggest fears in life is to become large..like my mother...

*hair and eye color are irrelevant - granted, brown hair should have curls...i am partial to brown curly hair (of course it needs a bit of blonde in it) - but blonde hair should be kept straight..and platinum

but these are mere physical features..let's not get too superficial

*i need my girls to have some sort of artistic outlet - painting, photography (preferably not that....), singing, dancing, whatever....something creative

*which leads into..the girl must have some sort of intelligence...she must not be as dumb as rocks..must be funny, understand all forms of humor - sarcasm especially
*must have some sort of personality...when i introduce her to my friends, she must not sit there quiet all night...begging for my attention..she must be able to hold her own...

*she wants me in her life not because she needs me, but because she wants me

*basically i'm looking for an attractive girl, attractive by my standards not the typical 'guy whatever' standards..cute to me..who likes to laugh, has a sense of sarcasm and self worth..some dignity and class also go a long way, but are humble to their roots..be fun, but not necessarily the center of attention all the time, swallows, likes children and is good with them, has strong family ties - granted i know everyone has their problems with their family but i'd like some sort of roots, uses 1 or 3 exclamation points, not 2!!!, someone not finicky with their heart and someone that won't be with others, someone to keep it real, not needing to spend an hour getting ready before going out to the grocery store, someone who keeps her promises and pays her debts, trusting and trustworthy, makes me better myself/brings out the good in me (wherever it is..), has her own taste in things but is willing to try new things, sooo i guess open minded with her own sense of individuality, mentally stable (yeah right, if she has a vagina she's pretty much already counted out on that one..) and i'd say someone who understands me, but that is to a certain degree because nobody will fully understand me, not even myself..so as close as you can get really...and i'm probably missing a ton of other things not to mention some obvious things..soo i apologize

"It's so funny that we set qualifications for the right person to love,
While at the back of our minds we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception."