Let Me Tell Ya a Little Something Something.....

i'm glad i didn't make thids post at any one time yesterday, because there were too many updates..so here it is now...slightly...

yeah so the time was around 11, waking up at 9 for some crazy reason, but paced around, waiting nervously.......well it kinda started with those sunday posts, the nervousness that is.....just as if i were only hours from my execution, this is what it was like, making bloggs, trying get pleas and pardons, waiting anxiously...i even started to get sick....i was a mess indeed...

so i decided i was going to go through with it and started looking fro a shirt and locket...of course this probably was the worse thign to do at the time....enter storgae unit, go straight for the drawer o' her things....i read all the cards, look through everything, and you know how i am, had to organize every little bit of it, making me go through every little thing in there...so it was sad, very sad indeed...after the process was done i picked up and headed for her house...

i arrived at 1:10 or so, i guess that's fashionably late, who cares....it was kinda awkward at first, she showed me the box of my stuff and the microwave, she could have kept it for more use, but she said liz had one, ok....after that things got better, to me at least,even though there were a couple moments when i knew it was over, this was it, the last goodbye...she showed me all the new animals in the house. i could tell she was happy because she was talking about her animals...she has a sugar glider..damn her, ha. everything was going great....

in light of how good i was feeling, i reached into my pockets and gave her back the shirt and necklace, she was happy to get back the necklace i could tell from the way she seized it rfom my hands....but that was the end of the goodness.....but a few moments later everything went to hell, she demanded i leave, my stubbornness wouldn't allow for it, especially since everything was going just fine 20 minutes ago....we argued and bickered back and forth..it had to be the worst fight i've ever had with her, i even had to raise my voice to her, such a shame.....thigns were said by both parties, whether they were meant or not, the intent to hurt was there....i could tell you i was strong and didn't let the thigns she said effect me, or i can tell you otherwise, but anyone who knows me knows how i really feel....things did simmer down a little bit, but she was still angery...finally at around 2:30 she asked me to leave agian, and i did. i asked if we could be down with the fighting, call it over, what's done is done, truce in a matter of words...she agreed, when i asked for a shake goodbye, not a hug/kiss/whatever, she didn't want to touch my hand, apparently they were disgusting with their longer than normal finger picking nails...i picked up my boxes, tocuhed her head, and i was gone...the end1

i found myself at alco, met up with barcus who was picking up teressa, or so he thought..after he parted i went and put the DVD's in the cases back at storage, i wanted to retunr the cd cases of brooke's and the box back to her sometime.....i winded up back at alco, visiting among the crew who wanted to see me, talking about random things, then the phone rang, it was her..apparently i forgot something at her house, i offered to come by and get it and drop off her holders and box, but she said she was comnig into town, i told her to call me when she was here....

i made my way out to the parking lot and played my guitar til she arrived..she pulled up, honked and i grabbed the box out of the front seat....i made my way to the car and i noticed what i had "forgotten", it was an "anniversery" gift i left in her room awhile back...she tried to hand it back to me, i utterly refused, there was no way i was going to take that back..it was for her, made just for her...if she gave it back, i would make it to be back in her room before she knew it...i told her to keep it as a parting gift, i couldn't do anything with it, it was hers....at first she said she was goign to throw it away, and not even open it..but she finally said she would open it and give it away to someone else..i was happy with that response and said that's fine.....in a way i knew after seeing what it was, she couldn't really give it away, but who knows....so after that quarrel i tried to close her door, she wouldn't move her leg, and i didn't want the door to hit her leg, i asked her a couple times to move it, but to no avail. i leaned in with my arm to initiate a move of her leg, and she yelled at me not to touch her and slammed the door.....the end2

so i stumbled back into alco....i sat at register two, head down....i even started to cry, everything i tried to do was wrong, and that was it...olivia was nice and she tried to cheer me up, she of course new somethign was wrong, she says she always sees me happy, and always gets a hug, but i guess i forgot today, who knows...i was sad.....i didn't want to talk about it really, there was nothing to say, it was over, ok, we plsit the differences, now let's move on, so i tried to focus on other things....

8:30...making a sandwich, chicken sandwich that is...my phone rings.....and it's brooke...she opens conversation with "thank you"....she was thanking me for her gift..i asked if she liked it, she did..i asked if she was going to keep it..she was, i was completely happy...everythign prior now erased with those words...i made short conversation, and then we ended the chat...it was good, i was happy, the end....

oh, so her gift, i bought her a star...there is now a star named after her out there...there's cordinates and everything..the intent was whereever she was, either it be school, lowell, whereever, i could always anxiously wait for night to fall, then look up and see her...i guess it's still the same, it's the only way i can see her now.....

so to me it ended on that good note, everythign else that happened, whatever...she said thank you, she meant....she's a good girl, honestly....i think she was just throwing the shit because she knows that's the type of game i normally play, don't take ot out on her...but yeah, to any of those who will be going to college with her, or fellow academites(i don't think anybody readds this anways), take good care of her, she's special, and a great person..and for the people who comment on my blog/xanga/whatever....let it end here, see her back, yeah she's walking away, so get off it....let lying dogs lay sort of thing.....goodbye and thank you...