I Hate You, But I Love You....
I just became your sucker....

ohhh, well this can be a lengthy, never ended problem/post/plea for help....and so for that reason it must be told....

so now I move you to the topic of lady l, the lovely lady l, whom I adore, could love, and is tied around her finger....that all sounds pretty intense as I read it back...so yesterday was the first time that I got...not mad...maybe not let down, but something happened needless to say...

one of the thigns that shocked me the most was while we were driving to god knows where, she mentions how she heard mr t had a small pe..dick (she doesn't like the word penis) I laughed because I knew of mr t's boisterous accounts of his dick, so I laughed...then it went into the whole so what if he does have a small dick (I myself having a small dick feel the right to stand up for those who ride in the same boat as me) and then it came out that lady l says size does matter, and it's not how you use it or anything like that...well these shocking statements, let alone from her, had my head spinning....a battle started to form, I trying to defend the use and techniques over size and pain, but eventually bowed out coming to the conclusion I use my tongue to do my work rather then my dick..so that settled that.....

but from there on out lady l turned into a little bit of a bitch...I don't remember actually what else went down, but I remember starting to dislike her more and more....and later that night I fell asleep in the passenger's side of my car as she drove the remainder way around, just so I could escape whatever it was that was going on.....

and as I dropped her off she even made a quasi-scene walking away saying something like, "yeah I know you hate me" and me actually calling out, "oh you know I love you" in that "I don't need to be truly sincere here because you know it's true and you're the one acting stupid" tone....

after that I started gathering my thoughts, I probably do love her more than she realizes, even though she may know certain things about me, I don't know if she really understands I have some sort of wired feelings for her......

I know remember making a playful shot at her last night about how I'm just like a booty call to her, I drop whatever it is I'm doing to meet her needs....I don't know if she got the trueness of it all, but it did hit her pretty hard, causing her to say she'll never call again...low and behold call comes in today, she stops by to see me, we hang out as normal...

it was funny though, mr t was with us, and lady l headed to the bathroom or something, and he asked me, 'ok you know I think she's hot and I'd fuck her, but god damn how do you put up with her all the time....and she's sooo loud..." I gave him a sterilized look, then he put together a little something in his head as I saw the light bulb go on and he replies, "ohhh, shit I forgot, you put up with (he didn't say anything)....he paused, shook his head,I mean you can put up with anything" my glare turned a little colder as my eyes became more slashed, but a smirk appeared from the hidden corner of my mouth, I knew what he meant...

so all in all, she reached that hurdle of where "I hate you" lies....and now that she has crossed over that I can now say she is truly a friend of mine...funny how that is, but I think everyone I've know that I can call a friend has reached that point, and even though you may hate them so much you don't want to see them again, it never happens that way...look at zach and I, we had our share of times when we could have killed each other at the drop of a hat, but we're good now...I can't recall a girl ever reaching this with me, when it gets to that point we both head in opposite directions never looking back...ehh it will be fun while it lasts I suppose....