"I Found the Corner in the Round Room.....eat it"

so ok, randomness.....i've found myself laughing like a cat more and more lately, it's that "he he he he" sort of laugh, like the cat from the cartoon josie and the pussycats....

and on the topic of cats.....someone asked me, "what, cat got you tongue?" and i replied with, "well you're right about the pussy part".....it makes sense if you think about it.....

and off of that one......it's come to my knowledge that there are several people who "like" me...what the shit, honestly, do i need this? everyday there is a new twsit and turn...like today, girl L (the girl i want more than anyone else, she's the one using me as well) told me that her friend, lady c wants to fuck the hell out of me...well not so many words, but yeah, basically....now lady C has class with lady O..and apparently all they do in that class is talk about me....lady S is trying to hook me up with lady L, though lady S quasi wants me as well, but i tried telling Lady S that it's one of those thigns you just don't discuss openly, especially in front of both of us....like everybody knows uncle joe is crazy, but when they have a family dinner, nobody discusses it, it's just understood to leave it be...exactly the way lady L and me are.....everybody knows i'd F her upside down, but when we get together, i put all those thoughts aside and we just hang out....then later i may recap and be like, "oh, i just realized she was half naked and i did nothing about it"..yeah, even when ihave full oppurtunity to say or do somethign i don't...everythign gets pushed into the corner and we just hang out....and now lady S is trying to work her "magic" so to speak...i say don't toy with it....

and then lady O works with lady D and lady A, and they all like me, so then there's the fight between them, and who will i visit..it's all too crazy......i try to tell them i don't want a relationship, i'm not getting involved, i will not be labeld as a boyfriend, i just want to hang out ( but i guess there's nothg wrong with FtF..haha, just kidding) and poor lady O (the one i could love if i could)...i came to the realiztion of how much she likes me last night when she hugged me...well it was not a hug, and embrace...she wrapped herself into my arms, and likewise with hers in was..it was different, i haven't been held like that in awhile. she squeezed me, and that resulted in a the rubbing of the back embrace..but the clincher was the release...she did the slide into hook thign...you know, when you let go of a hug and start to pull away, the other, slides their hands down your arms and hooks onto your hands....and then she starred...of course i know what the stare meant, but luckily a kid interupted us and i departed.....

so how is it that i am the lust of these people... i mean honestly, it's me...i didn't try to woo them over, i didn't do a thing, i was just myself...and i know for a fact that that quality itself scares people away. so why now, why them, why me...it's absurd. it angers me as well, i don't want this now, i don't need this, it's like throwing a man who just ate, more food (well, except for Jimmy.."when do we eat next") he's full, he doesn't want anymore..that's how i feel, i'm full, i'm done, i don't want to eat that agian, now let's go watch a movie or run a mile.....

and as of right now, i'm being called upon lady D and lady O to come visit them, i'll stop there in a minute...and i've been writting in my little blue journal book agian...it's about that time..of course it's a pain in the ass because it takes soo long compared to this typing, and my handwritting has become more atrocious....so it's takes me awhile to get everything in there i want....and i don't have access to a computer to type in all hours of the day, hell, i'll even bitch about how in the backroom at target i don't have a pen and paper to write down my crazy ideas...and i don't want to carry around the damned voice recorder that's in my car ther, but maybe i'll have to.....maybe i'll leave a voicemail for myself about what i want to talk about..that's fucked up.....

that's all for now...i'm spent......