Can't Say I Didn't Want to Wake Up....
Because I'd rather not go to sleep and dream agian...

Ohhhhh..so i stayed up almsot all night watching a movie, though it never seemed to end, i swear it took four hours, but it was by far one of the greatest movies i've seen..oh the movie, As Good As it Gets...(i'll be making a post why i liked it so damned much later) who'da thunk it would be as great as i thought it was....but that's just me..after watching i was hyped, but decided to crash anyways, it was like 6am or so....

so i lay sleeping, having one of my wierd dreams agian...it's like i'm in a new/different place, i have no idea what the hell is going on in the big picture of it all, but i'm just going through my motions, as the only way i would. i don't know why or how i get to the different parts/places in my dream, what leads me there and back or to and froe, but i am going, walking, doing the things "it" wants me to do, of course i don't really analyze all this when i'm dreaming, all i know is i have no idea what's gonig on, but i'm gonig with the flow, it's like everythings predetermined, yet it feels i still have control because i'm going thrugh my standard motions...craziness...anwyays, my dream turned into a nightmare, and it was the last bit of the dream as well, it was horrible, but i woke up, in a tizzy, and heard my phone ringing, how appropriate was it that "stairway to heaven" was playing through my phone....

so even in my dreams i cannot escape reality, my reality haunts me in ever bit of my life, it mocks me constantly. as if i thought my life as it is was bad enough, it gets it's kick to my balls when i'm sleeping, when i think everything will be fine...but it's not even safe to sleep...why must everything be an on going trauma...

well my hands are freezing, i'll get back to posting later, give you guys tim ti catch up on my (lengthy) posts.......til we meet agian....