HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!!!
yeah right.....

So what happened yesterday, that question I am actually asking myself..could there be worse of a day? To be honest, it ranks up there with last year as being the worst New Year's ever, but it was salvaged since I was awoke for the time change..but let's explain, but I'd probably rather not....

Alright, well the day started off a little bit confusing, still uncertain of who was coming and where to meet, but I got on top of things and made a couple calls solving any problems that were then faced. I then came to find out Zach would not be making the treck up north to join us in the evening's activities....when was the last time he came up to see us, not on some family outing, but to see us....not to sound bitchy or anything, but then I could throw the, "how many times have we came down to see him.." but then the real question is, which is more of an inconvenience..anyways he wasn't coming, two dropped from the party list.

So as the day went on, I received more and more calls about last night, I tried to straighten everything out, though the details were a bit mixed, but I think everything got sorted out....but then disaster struck, well at least for me....I called Brooke at 5, like I said I was going to, and even though I was going to call before that something told me to wait, yet I knew 5 would be too late for some reason....well in fact it was, she was on the road to Indy..out of anger and spite towards one of my blog postings she got up and left...this hurt me, but what killed me was when she said, "and you know the ironic thing is that I wanted to and was going to spend the evening with you.." and more sentences explaining so...but it was the post that made her change her mind..as I've always said, "I am my own undoing.." so the fact that I ruined my own night plans, I was the cause of my own hurt, hurt even more....I remembered she said she just passed Lafayette and then I asked the unthinkable, I said I know it's a lot and may not be right, but would you turn around for me..you're only an hour away, just turn around...she would have nothing to do with it..then I begged and pleaded with her, she finally hung up the phone, and it either went into roam or she turned it off..I was devastated....

to upset with myself to throw a tantrum, to sad to cry, I did what I do best, had a short spasm then got in my car seeking civilization........I found myself at alco and weirdly enough talking to Sarah of all people. I got a voicemail in the process and it was Brooke apologizing, but I knew it wasn't going to fix anything, even though she apologized and we both felt bad, she was still heading to Indy and the even was lost forever...

so I found myself driving around, the long and slow route to vince's, the place we were supposed to meet at 7, I arrived shortly after 730 only after receiving phone calls and forced over...When I arrived Andy, ince and Elizabeth were the only ones there, so I suppose I wasn't too late...Dewes called saying he would be in town in 20 minutes, I told him the game plan and he said just call when we decide to go to jimmy's....that would be the last contact from him the entire night....Barcus arrived after 8 bringing with him his sister, Terressa, and her friend. But just as soon as they arrived they were gone, don't know where to, but gone none-the-less...we finally got word from jimmy at 9 and made our way over...in the process of heading to jimmy's I called all who was not with us to meet us there, like I said, dewes was never to be heard from again....

along the trip we picked up Toni Clapp and he gang of sarah, becca, and elyise...awkwardness and feelings of uncertainty were only intensified when barcus returned with Teresa and his sister, losing one of the previous ones along the way I suppose. They started watching old movies of highschool projects we were all involved in, but that only lasted for so long. Vince and Elizabeth got up and left the room, never to return....they fled to their car and made a break for it..andy followed suite moments later. After some TV watching and not much else was going on to my knowledge, Barcus and his gang got up and left, however they said goodbye before they left...it wasn't long after that toni's group decided to make a run for it as well..so there it was, jimmy and me, what in the hell happened....

confused as to what the fuck was going on, we made our way back to vince's...we were both disgruntled and upon arriving asked if we should leave our jackets on because we might be moving again in 20 minutes....anyways we killed the remaining hour of the year there...sat around watched various people play video games, danced on DDR and then with 10 minutes remaining watched a very crappy countdown on Fox...Then we brought in the New Year with our "resolutions" and closed it with an hour long session of reading ghost stories from elizabeth's book.

Dewes never showed up (fifth time I've mentioned that..) Barcus never came around again, we changed our location enough to have mini-convoys to end the year, zach and anne weren't up, I was left kissing vince's brothers..it's where I should have been, but yet at the same time shouldn't have, least not without her. so once again I ring in a new year, still not up to any grandiose scale, but not the worst, ranking close, at least I know she wanted to spend the night with me....2003 sucked, terrible number terrible year....let's hope this one is a little better than, but as I can tell from how it was brought in, it will be similar to last year....but thanks to all who I was with, it would have been hell without you..and things are only as bad as you make them to be, and sadly I let things be bad, I should have gotten trashed....