You Want the Truth...You Can't Handle the Truth..I Denounce Your Truth Handling Abilities You Non-Truth Handler...but here it is anyways, be prepared....
Also, one of the saddest lived stories I can recall....

So here's a little something for you, though a blog about it is extreme in some words, other won't think so....so if you are anonymous, i suggest you take a seat if you wish to continue to read.....

And away we go...

So as we all know i like to do things for people, if they call upon me i feel as if they had some reason for donig so, i'm reliable to them, they know i can help them out, and that's what i like, having the ability to be there for people, helping them out, whatever they, little things to big things, seeing them walking and giving them a ride if just down the street to lendfing them $500, if i can do it, i usually will...now of course there has to be a build up to get to that big favor as mentioned before, but if you call upon m for a small thign, everything works out fine and you'r nice about it, i'm more likely to do agian for you.....

enter lady k....well, i don't like to hide the truth, so lady k, as cool as a name that is, will be revealed as kodee, brooke's sister...now i've done little things for her before, given rides places, taking her to the bank, little things like that, and it's all cleared by her mom so it's not like a little rondezvous...i do it to help out both of them, because of time contraints and the sort.....

so i was called upon yesterday to be informed kodee got her student id and whenever was a good time for me, i could take her to the bank to cash a check and get paid...well i was doing nothing at the time so i decided might as well get it over with now and then...

the events aren't all that relevant, trip to the bank, then to eat BK because it was whopper wednesday, hell she even bought, then to merrillville and the mall to kill time until she needed to be dropped off at her church in lowell at 7, no biggie...but during that whole time i'd have to say it was one of the worst excruciating experiences possible...

so here's where it gets sad, and it's at the very beginning of ther story as well......i make my was over to the house and knock on the front door as normal. i hear th door unlatch and is opened slightly, as a gesture to enter, and i did....but half way through the door i stop dead, frozen still holding the handle, not moving a muscle. a mix of emotions ran through my body, i stood speachless, i thought for a second..but knew it wasn't, finally she sees me out the corner of her eye and asks, "what?" a tremble comes from my lips as i say to kodee, " you look exactly like brooke" . she replies after a puase with, "yeah, i got that lot today" well looking straight on you knew it was kodee, but if she turned her head, or her face was partly covered by something, there's no doubt she could have been mistaken for brooke.

the rest of the day was completly torturous as well...put yourself in my shoes, the girl/guy you love won't talk to you, they left you, to your knowledge, for nothing at all, you haven't seen, spoken, or anything with them in a long time, you're completly devastated, the past still lingers on, you try to do what you can, but what is there to do...then enter a look a like, better yet it's a sister/brother..and becuase of that realtion not only do they look like the other at times, but act as well....

yeah, that was my world yesterday, like some sort of hell on earth, just as evil as my dream the other day, life is having it's fun with my world around me....every time i looked at her, i saw brooke, several times i had to wander off to another side of the store because it was messing with me too much. it re-opened the wounds in my heart, i was drowning in the flood...sheeven asked me a couple times if i was angery or mad with her, something seemed out of the norm to her, but i wasn't mad at all...but that was a questionb brooke would ask when we were at the mall as well....i don't know what attitude i give off, but i most certianly wasn't mad...oh the tie that binds...

so then the end was nearing, thoughts ran through my head...as we all know, or am sure heard, i'm just asking for closure on all of this..i mean yeah i would like to know what happened, why, all the details, but i know i won't ever get them, so i just want it to end, on a note rather than nothing, i want there to be a goodbye...something for closure...and because of all this, and everything that was going on yesterday, i devised a scheme to trick myself into giving m that closure..i know it seems far fetched, but i'm gasping for air....i figured that if i were to close my eyes and give her a hug, and then say goodbye, everything wold be fine...give the other person the goodbye, but your mind will think it's who it's supposed to be.. i know it sounds crazy, but there's where i left it, in my head..i never went forth with the idea, probably didn't want to bust out crying in front of kodee like that, crazy idea, i'll just keep waiting for the real thing to happen, and i'll wait....