Follow Up....

So now we are at the drive home....this is usually a time for me to reflect upon things....well it wasn't so good...though most drives aren't good to begin with, i think this one didn't settle with me as well...and only music more than half-way through the trip cleared my mind.....

one thought that went through my head was the list of people who have abandoned me in life....beginning with my father, then my mother, though sher would make periodic visits into my life every now and then..until ther final cut, my one and only girlfriend brooke, finances, jobs, and the list can go on.....my grandparents will follow soon enough, only using them now for a mailbox anyways, and i'm sure friends will come and go, they always seem to...

as for other things, i ask myself, why do i deserve this, any of this, what could i possibly have done to make this time so bad, was it somethign i did in a previous life, something i'm gonna do,...if it's for throwing the cat into the lake repeatedly, i'm gonna be mad.....i wanted to see if it could swim, yet i couldn't throw it our far enough each time, yet the cat came back to me every time...i'm not evil.....

Looking at Heather's away message could bring one hope...something along the lines of, if god gave it to me, god can make me through it...somethign likwe that, i can't quote it exactly, she just sigend offline...

on better notes, there is now a BLUE couch in my blue room at the office, hell yes....though i'm getting sick of this place, everytime i walk in here i am reminded for what i did this for, should say for whom, who encouraged me to do so, yeah..moving on, blue couch....

on my little drive to merrillvile, actually coming back on broadway, you know where the two roads merge to become one, yeah well some van tried to race past me, hell no is what i said....then at the next light a green car comes up next to me and tried to do the same thing from the turning lane...at the next light, there's that green car agian, so i look, it's a lady looking at my car, she turns and looks at me and mouths something to me with a smile, somethign like nice car, the light turned green and she turned away, i went straight...made me giggle, a compliment on my car...

in other events, i'm causing waves in the xanga ocean, i knew it would happen, and i pre-appologized for it....at the end of every war there's a few patriots who will fight til the end, giving it their all, throwing rocks, spoons, and whatever they can get their hands on....well in a simliar fashion i did the same thing, maybe a little dirtier of methods as well, but i think it can be justified to some extent, right?

that's all...