It Only Has So Many Clicks...
yeah, words to live by....i went to unlock my car, keeping the key turned to the left for a couple additioanl seconds to unlock all the doors and as i go to pull open the backdoor to put the guitar in, it's till locked. so i figured whatever, reached in on the drivers side and hit the unlock button, didn't hear anything, pulled agian, still to no avail. i crawled in to the back and tried to open the door, it's still locked....so yeah i realzed after i dicked around with it some more, the power lock switch is busted, the controler on the inside, not the door or anything. but yeah, so of course i'm mad, probably like a $20 switch and 80 dollars labor, but i'll get it fixed...maybe that was what was wrong with my remote starter...who knows, that'd be bad ass if that got fixed, right in time for winter and sleeping in my car, ha..that's all.....
Friday, August 15, 2003
Jason, Tellin' It Like It Is....Turn Back Now
Well to tell you the truth, who knowsd what's going no anymore...well xanga is still motherfucking down!! My worms coem and go..on my computer that is, i get rid of it, it's still there, craziness...as for worms in my stomache, yeah everyone at target thinks i have some because i eat cookie dough raw..ooooooooh.. anywho..i've been hearing a lot of really good quotes and tis and that at work, or said to myself...let me think...well tis one chick said, "i'll be honest tell ya the truth some day" wow, those have to be ranked up there in the worst things to say phrase list. basic translation, "i'm lying to you, and have been, and maybe one day when i feel bad enough i'll tell you, maybe" these words shouldn't be spoken to friend family foe, it's just harsh. which brings me to my next topic, being lied to, or rather, not told all the details/leaving certain things out. i think some people just need to realize that when they think hiding the truth from someone will be better, it actually makes things a lot worse. i'd rather be told striaght up what's going on rather than be lead on by some carrot ^. i'd rather have things be out there in the open, to be aware, ten to have to find it out acciently and have worse feelings, because i'm telling ya, when you do find something out like that, no matter how small, or how petty it may be, there's a lack of trust, faith, confidence, and you wonder why this person is doing this.....vince and i had a simliar talk at steak and shake the other night..it seems as though he's a little more controling than i am on the subject, but i don't mind my girl to hang out with her friends. yeah i understand it's like a little escape, need to get away, but not really, new familiar atmosphere..and adequate time should be given to both parties, i can't think of a ratio, but it defiantly weighs on favor the the couple. of course if when i sak what are your plans for the day, and you reply with "busy, doing things, we can't see each other" and leave it at that, but you run amuck with your friends,well why couldn' you just say so in the first place? by doing that you just broke any bond that relationship had..but this extends into a friendship basis as well, two friends try to get together and then one backs out saying something stupid has come up, then you find out what they said was partly right, but are with other people...kinda makes you feel like you aren't wanted. maybe i'm in that mood because i feel i have been "told a different story" stupid people....speaking of stupid people, pop culture freaks are on the rise of people i dispise list....yeah everything has a list, and everyone's making it it seems. but there's this 24 year old from target who's a pop culture whore, it's like she's in highschool. this can be seen in the cd's she has in her car...yeah she has a lot, most of them being from soundtracks, or hit singles, terrible. i found all this out on sat night/sunday morning, had a bunch of extra time after getting out at target, so i did my normal sit in the parking lot talk a thon with a group and she stayed in on it, but first blasted her music from her car. lord was i disgusted. how can something such as that define you as a person? yeah i like whatever is popular at the current moment. and by liking what is "popular", accepted by an "elite" group of people, only confroms you even more. so you can only be defiend as a pop culture whore..changing every 2 minutes to a new style just because it looks cooler. i think it's the change part i personally hate about the pop culture scene, i hate change. and i hate it when people change, it's never for the better i'll tell you that much. or when people chage only to be different. well listen here fucksticks, you're different just like everyone else. deal with it, quit changing to be different..different, yeah that reminds me of those punk/alternative/emo freaks. bunch of digenerate, whiny, depressed, generation loser leftovers writing "songs" about how mommy only gave them $50 for the week instead of the normal $100. these songwriters wouldn't know feelings if it came up to them and ripped out teir heart, let alone how to express it down on paper. And these fucking freaks are revered as heros by the unintelligent, slack-jawed yokel whom have to wear black, or dye their hair, or god forbid, listen to these fucks such as the ataris, john mayer, alkaline maple, and other groups from hot topic that offer no basis for indiviuality except for conforming to "that" mold...yeah, their an emotional wreck alright, try my friend asian tony. i know exaclty how this poor soul feels, i went through a similar situation. i'm not sure what got me throguh it, so i don't know how to help him. all i can say is he's buddhist and one of their biggest beleifs is that you have to take the journey alone...that's about all i can offer. he called me last night in one of his worst breakdowns. i really didn't know what to say to him, and i couldn't be on for long, i had to work. i wish him the best..he said he needed a smoke, but didn't want to give in,but i but he drank it off..as for drinking, if someone were to see my computer desk they'd defiantly think i was an alcoholic.well there's my bottle of jack which i like to keep around for the smell, and then the shot glass, blue, which brooke got for me, next to it. then there's the bottle of wine i used when i cooked the lasagna, then the various types of malt beverages skyy, mike's hard whatever, bartels and james,...) from random people coming over and wanting a drink, friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, neighbors, enemies, but not really. if i get motivated i'll get rid of that soon, but i doubt anybody would care, but i'm not a drunkard, not an alcohlic, so must get rid of these, bastard people. oh yeah, so i was in somewhat rare form at target last night. after i get done with the truck i come to find i have the office pull, the longest one, and it's the only one left. that severly pissed me off, took over 3 hours with help mind you. so i was in pain, back killing me, aggitated because of that, and just overall quiet. somebody kinda got in my face in a half jokin manner and i just went off on them, i let them have what was on my mind, turned away just as i started to get their reaction, it wasn't pretty. then this kid kept talking, when he should have been backstocking...that's when suddenly after hearing him go no and on i turned around, which caught his attention, he asks, "is that backstock or to be pushed to the floor" a really stupid question, but anyways, i replied, "yeah, backstock..which is something you probably should be doing as well" he had a cought look on his face, then was all yes sir, non smart ass like, and i continued, "don't mind ya talking, please do so if it passes the time, but at least be working while you're doing it or it'll be less chatty, more scanny"he smiled and finally pulled his LRT out and began to backstock, yeah, it wasn't even in his hand, loser. it's funny because the kid respects me as his boss, i wonder if he thinks i am, and is always asking me questions about this and that, making sure he's doing it right and can goof off with me as well. it's a fun time we have there, most of the time, i try to keep everyone in a pleasant mood. well my temperment has settled a bit, time to shower....that's all...for now...
Well to tell you the truth, who knowsd what's going no anymore...well xanga is still motherfucking down!! My worms coem and go..on my computer that is, i get rid of it, it's still there, craziness...as for worms in my stomache, yeah everyone at target thinks i have some because i eat cookie dough raw..ooooooooh.. anywho..i've been hearing a lot of really good quotes and tis and that at work, or said to myself...let me think...well tis one chick said, "i'll be honest tell ya the truth some day" wow, those have to be ranked up there in the worst things to say phrase list. basic translation, "i'm lying to you, and have been, and maybe one day when i feel bad enough i'll tell you, maybe" these words shouldn't be spoken to friend family foe, it's just harsh. which brings me to my next topic, being lied to, or rather, not told all the details/leaving certain things out. i think some people just need to realize that when they think hiding the truth from someone will be better, it actually makes things a lot worse. i'd rather be told striaght up what's going on rather than be lead on by some carrot ^. i'd rather have things be out there in the open, to be aware, ten to have to find it out acciently and have worse feelings, because i'm telling ya, when you do find something out like that, no matter how small, or how petty it may be, there's a lack of trust, faith, confidence, and you wonder why this person is doing this.....vince and i had a simliar talk at steak and shake the other night..it seems as though he's a little more controling than i am on the subject, but i don't mind my girl to hang out with her friends. yeah i understand it's like a little escape, need to get away, but not really, new familiar atmosphere..and adequate time should be given to both parties, i can't think of a ratio, but it defiantly weighs on favor the the couple. of course if when i sak what are your plans for the day, and you reply with "busy, doing things, we can't see each other" and leave it at that, but you run amuck with your friends,well why couldn' you just say so in the first place? by doing that you just broke any bond that relationship had..but this extends into a friendship basis as well, two friends try to get together and then one backs out saying something stupid has come up, then you find out what they said was partly right, but are with other people...kinda makes you feel like you aren't wanted. maybe i'm in that mood because i feel i have been "told a different story" stupid people....speaking of stupid people, pop culture freaks are on the rise of people i dispise list....yeah everything has a list, and everyone's making it it seems. but there's this 24 year old from target who's a pop culture whore, it's like she's in highschool. this can be seen in the cd's she has in her car...yeah she has a lot, most of them being from soundtracks, or hit singles, terrible. i found all this out on sat night/sunday morning, had a bunch of extra time after getting out at target, so i did my normal sit in the parking lot talk a thon with a group and she stayed in on it, but first blasted her music from her car. lord was i disgusted. how can something such as that define you as a person? yeah i like whatever is popular at the current moment. and by liking what is "popular", accepted by an "elite" group of people, only confroms you even more. so you can only be defiend as a pop culture whore..changing every 2 minutes to a new style just because it looks cooler. i think it's the change part i personally hate about the pop culture scene, i hate change. and i hate it when people change, it's never for the better i'll tell you that much. or when people chage only to be different. well listen here fucksticks, you're different just like everyone else. deal with it, quit changing to be different..different, yeah that reminds me of those punk/alternative/emo freaks. bunch of digenerate, whiny, depressed, generation loser leftovers writing "songs" about how mommy only gave them $50 for the week instead of the normal $100. these songwriters wouldn't know feelings if it came up to them and ripped out teir heart, let alone how to express it down on paper. And these fucking freaks are revered as heros by the unintelligent, slack-jawed yokel whom have to wear black, or dye their hair, or god forbid, listen to these fucks such as the ataris, john mayer, alkaline maple, and other groups from hot topic that offer no basis for indiviuality except for conforming to "that" mold...yeah, their an emotional wreck alright, try my friend asian tony. i know exaclty how this poor soul feels, i went through a similar situation. i'm not sure what got me throguh it, so i don't know how to help him. all i can say is he's buddhist and one of their biggest beleifs is that you have to take the journey alone...that's about all i can offer. he called me last night in one of his worst breakdowns. i really didn't know what to say to him, and i couldn't be on for long, i had to work. i wish him the best..he said he needed a smoke, but didn't want to give in,but i but he drank it off..as for drinking, if someone were to see my computer desk they'd defiantly think i was an alcoholic.well there's my bottle of jack which i like to keep around for the smell, and then the shot glass, blue, which brooke got for me, next to it. then there's the bottle of wine i used when i cooked the lasagna, then the various types of malt beverages skyy, mike's hard whatever, bartels and james,...) from random people coming over and wanting a drink, friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, neighbors, enemies, but not really. if i get motivated i'll get rid of that soon, but i doubt anybody would care, but i'm not a drunkard, not an alcohlic, so must get rid of these, bastard people. oh yeah, so i was in somewhat rare form at target last night. after i get done with the truck i come to find i have the office pull, the longest one, and it's the only one left. that severly pissed me off, took over 3 hours with help mind you. so i was in pain, back killing me, aggitated because of that, and just overall quiet. somebody kinda got in my face in a half jokin manner and i just went off on them, i let them have what was on my mind, turned away just as i started to get their reaction, it wasn't pretty. then this kid kept talking, when he should have been backstocking...that's when suddenly after hearing him go no and on i turned around, which caught his attention, he asks, "is that backstock or to be pushed to the floor" a really stupid question, but anyways, i replied, "yeah, backstock..which is something you probably should be doing as well" he had a cought look on his face, then was all yes sir, non smart ass like, and i continued, "don't mind ya talking, please do so if it passes the time, but at least be working while you're doing it or it'll be less chatty, more scanny"he smiled and finally pulled his LRT out and began to backstock, yeah, it wasn't even in his hand, loser. it's funny because the kid respects me as his boss, i wonder if he thinks i am, and is always asking me questions about this and that, making sure he's doing it right and can goof off with me as well. it's a fun time we have there, most of the time, i try to keep everyone in a pleasant mood. well my temperment has settled a bit, time to shower....that's all...for now...
Thursday, August 14, 2003
*This is a Paid Advertisment*
So ever since I got this blog it's been nothing but trouble...i mean sure it's a good way to let off some steam, fill others in about your life, vent, put up crazy tests,vent, write songs or poetry, and more venting. but every now and then you can't please everybody and someone along the lines will get mad because they didn't see their name in any of your posts. i believe this happens to everyone, i know it does to me. So this post is strictly for the girl's over in the Wagner household, bailey, autumn, and (ca)sandra. well it was only bailey and autumn who made the comment about it, so maybe i'll jut stick with them, but (ca)sandra, here you are. yeah i know your name is sandra, but whenever i say it type it, i want to add the Ca, as in Casandra, sounds soo much cooler, maybe you should really think about changing your name, i mean now it just seems as if you are come cheesy half assed version of Casandra. sandra, that's for losers...to my bailey: yeah, you're vince's sister, and i've known you since i've known vince, how crazy is that? You liked riding ponies, now you drive one. barcus wanted your ass, now he's with someone lesser than you, yeah, he coped and settled with what he could get, that's funny and sad. so to the one who seems like the odd ball out inthe family, there you go bailey, i love you. Last, but not least, well maybe, alright no, to the one i love more, haha, autumn. yeah i love her for she's a little......slow. yeah it will probably take her about 5 minutes before she realizes i just made fun of her. i don't think i have anything really cool or funny to say about her..i mean i could always go off on a sexual tangent about her name being autumn, yeah i think i could pull that off, "she let her hair fall down her naked body just like the leaves fall from the heights of their tree." or, "she quickly changed her colors from the previous non-submissive, non-loving little girl to that of a sex-crazed nympho woman who could dominate me any day of the week" yeah, that sounds about right...so there you go girls, i hope this satifies your desire, and if you bug me agian about it in a couple months, you might be in here agian...for some reason tis sounds like a teen-girl-squad sort of thing......
So ever since I got this blog it's been nothing but trouble...i mean sure it's a good way to let off some steam, fill others in about your life, vent, put up crazy tests,vent, write songs or poetry, and more venting. but every now and then you can't please everybody and someone along the lines will get mad because they didn't see their name in any of your posts. i believe this happens to everyone, i know it does to me. So this post is strictly for the girl's over in the Wagner household, bailey, autumn, and (ca)sandra. well it was only bailey and autumn who made the comment about it, so maybe i'll jut stick with them, but (ca)sandra, here you are. yeah i know your name is sandra, but whenever i say it type it, i want to add the Ca, as in Casandra, sounds soo much cooler, maybe you should really think about changing your name, i mean now it just seems as if you are come cheesy half assed version of Casandra. sandra, that's for losers...to my bailey: yeah, you're vince's sister, and i've known you since i've known vince, how crazy is that? You liked riding ponies, now you drive one. barcus wanted your ass, now he's with someone lesser than you, yeah, he coped and settled with what he could get, that's funny and sad. so to the one who seems like the odd ball out inthe family, there you go bailey, i love you. Last, but not least, well maybe, alright no, to the one i love more, haha, autumn. yeah i love her for she's a little......slow. yeah it will probably take her about 5 minutes before she realizes i just made fun of her. i don't think i have anything really cool or funny to say about her..i mean i could always go off on a sexual tangent about her name being autumn, yeah i think i could pull that off, "she let her hair fall down her naked body just like the leaves fall from the heights of their tree." or, "she quickly changed her colors from the previous non-submissive, non-loving little girl to that of a sex-crazed nympho woman who could dominate me any day of the week" yeah, that sounds about right...so there you go girls, i hope this satifies your desire, and if you bug me agian about it in a couple months, you might be in here agian...for some reason tis sounds like a teen-girl-squad sort of thing......
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
This Sucks......
I want my Xanga to be up...i've got plenty of posts for it, but damn it, it's not there.....so yeh everything still sucks. got rid of that plugin, then i found a worm, got rid of that, or so i think, but things are still messed up....only hours left, how sad is that. umm i'm trying to get things going, want to do laundry before i'm in the great wide open. ahh but who knows, i want the xanag up, i have had this last post in mind for awhile....and my comments come and go, just try to refresh or soemthing....
I want my Xanga to be up...i've got plenty of posts for it, but damn it, it's not there.....so yeh everything still sucks. got rid of that plugin, then i found a worm, got rid of that, or so i think, but things are still messed up....only hours left, how sad is that. umm i'm trying to get things going, want to do laundry before i'm in the great wide open. ahh but who knows, i want the xanag up, i have had this last post in mind for awhile....and my comments come and go, just try to refresh or soemthing....
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
And to think......
It's quite humorous, well at least to me, that almost a year ago i made a little post on this Blog on August 16th, the third in a row for that day, and the first day of posting, and it was all about the name DAVE. I look at that post and I am brought back to a time when i could half ass write, well, at least it was better than it is now. my writing abilities have gone out of the ass and down with a flush. i wish i were able to convey my thoughts as well as i did back then, ahh the memories, but back to my point...so i hated the name dave then, now it's the name bob, and they all have one underlying link, there's only one thing that conects these two names together, like a bridge over a troubled brook. call me spiteful, call me a guy, call me human because that's the real reason, i hate when things like this happen, i'm not overly conscious on the subject, lest it be hidden from me, and i think everybody would in the same situation. i'm not looking for any input on this matter at hand, i know what's right, who's wrong, what's at fault, and who's lost. a lot of finger pointing will do you no good, those latter three statements also correspond to the three fingers pointing back at you, and for that i get a thumb's up. wow, i think i just impressed myself a bit. *good job jason* my personal gratification for the year, now i'm going to choke on my guitar, i'm writing a song with Am and Em, my favorite chords, and when together they make beautiful music of a sad, maybe angry if used correctly, but disappointing time, maybe even a love affair gone wrong...
It's quite humorous, well at least to me, that almost a year ago i made a little post on this Blog on August 16th, the third in a row for that day, and the first day of posting, and it was all about the name DAVE. I look at that post and I am brought back to a time when i could half ass write, well, at least it was better than it is now. my writing abilities have gone out of the ass and down with a flush. i wish i were able to convey my thoughts as well as i did back then, ahh the memories, but back to my point...so i hated the name dave then, now it's the name bob, and they all have one underlying link, there's only one thing that conects these two names together, like a bridge over a troubled brook. call me spiteful, call me a guy, call me human because that's the real reason, i hate when things like this happen, i'm not overly conscious on the subject, lest it be hidden from me, and i think everybody would in the same situation. i'm not looking for any input on this matter at hand, i know what's right, who's wrong, what's at fault, and who's lost. a lot of finger pointing will do you no good, those latter three statements also correspond to the three fingers pointing back at you, and for that i get a thumb's up. wow, i think i just impressed myself a bit. *good job jason* my personal gratification for the year, now i'm going to choke on my guitar, i'm writing a song with Am and Em, my favorite chords, and when together they make beautiful music of a sad, maybe angry if used correctly, but disappointing time, maybe even a love affair gone wrong...
GRRRRRRRRRR
Ok, this is really bullshit...just as i am fixing some of the problems, i'd say changing the batteries was probably the easiest, i did just buyu some AA's, but anyways, as i fix things, more problems occur. my icons now move, but my wheel scrolly thing still doesn't work. i still can't copy and paste, and now i can't use Ctrl+F to search for words on webpages. can't open up links that are on webpages, this pisses me off greatly. xanga is still down, or so on my computer. to think, it's screwing up on me in the final hours it will be on. which just means when i go to boot this baby/bitch up next time i'll be pissed because i will have forgotten all that is wrong.....why must i reformat every year? this is how i loose so much stuff on my damned computer...not much left to say.....
Ok, this is really bullshit...just as i am fixing some of the problems, i'd say changing the batteries was probably the easiest, i did just buyu some AA's, but anyways, as i fix things, more problems occur. my icons now move, but my wheel scrolly thing still doesn't work. i still can't copy and paste, and now i can't use Ctrl+F to search for words on webpages. can't open up links that are on webpages, this pisses me off greatly. xanga is still down, or so on my computer. to think, it's screwing up on me in the final hours it will be on. which just means when i go to boot this baby/bitch up next time i'll be pissed because i will have forgotten all that is wrong.....why must i reformat every year? this is how i loose so much stuff on my damned computer...not much left to say.....
It's Just Getting Worse.....
oh my, i've been up only for a few hours and everything seems to be going downhill at a very rapid pace. every little thing possible is going wrong, unforessable stupid little things, but tey are all adding up......like there's this web toolbar that has somehow installed itself onto my IE broswers, it is F'ing annoying, i think it's called intelligent explorer, some plugin i know i didn't download. that also caused this stupid box to appear on my desktop as well. speaking of desktops, my icons won't move. no they aren't locked, i've tried everything, but they just won't move. my batteries in my mouse were low, the webwheel feature on my mouse wouldn't work either. these annoying ass grey pop ups are pissing me off as well. when i try to comment on zach's blog about cameras in the classroom, i'm not able to open the pop up window to comment. i tried opening a new link, or letting itself open it, nothing. oh, not to mention my archives are gone agian, haven't had that porblem in ages, along with my comments, they got together and ran amuck to mexico or some shit, sounds like something i should do. xanga is also MIA, can't visit people's sites or update my own. oh and when i tried to copy and paste a post i had, well it wouldn't let me copy nor paste anything from anywhere, i tried all te commands, keyboard, mosue, eidt tab, everything.....that angredd me as well. so i virtually lost that, well i did take a screen shot with paint, maybe that will work. oh did i forget to mention that blogger is also f'ed up, i am typing being able to see only one line, i've refreshed and reloaded this thing like 12 times. the only thing to make this day worse, is by having me live through it. it's only 10:00 am, good goff. why me, why now?
oh my, i've been up only for a few hours and everything seems to be going downhill at a very rapid pace. every little thing possible is going wrong, unforessable stupid little things, but tey are all adding up......like there's this web toolbar that has somehow installed itself onto my IE broswers, it is F'ing annoying, i think it's called intelligent explorer, some plugin i know i didn't download. that also caused this stupid box to appear on my desktop as well. speaking of desktops, my icons won't move. no they aren't locked, i've tried everything, but they just won't move. my batteries in my mouse were low, the webwheel feature on my mouse wouldn't work either. these annoying ass grey pop ups are pissing me off as well. when i try to comment on zach's blog about cameras in the classroom, i'm not able to open the pop up window to comment. i tried opening a new link, or letting itself open it, nothing. oh, not to mention my archives are gone agian, haven't had that porblem in ages, along with my comments, they got together and ran amuck to mexico or some shit, sounds like something i should do. xanga is also MIA, can't visit people's sites or update my own. oh and when i tried to copy and paste a post i had, well it wouldn't let me copy nor paste anything from anywhere, i tried all te commands, keyboard, mosue, eidt tab, everything.....that angredd me as well. so i virtually lost that, well i did take a screen shot with paint, maybe that will work. oh did i forget to mention that blogger is also f'ed up, i am typing being able to see only one line, i've refreshed and reloaded this thing like 12 times. the only thing to make this day worse, is by having me live through it. it's only 10:00 am, good goff. why me, why now?
Emptiness...
It's Tuesday..I should be doing alright, should....i woke up several times last night, i had the night off and i'm used to only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night, so i'll blame it on that. but why i didn't get up at any those times is beyond me, i just didn't feel like it was right. as i sit here right now, it took a lot for me to get out of bed only minutes ago, everything seems out of place, out of mind. this is a terrible feeling, i don't know what has casued this, but imagine waking up, and nothing is as it should be. it feels as if you are missing something, you aren't in te right place you're in a different dimension almost. this is killing me...sorry, i just can't get over whatever this feeling is. i'm on the verge of breaking down...i have nobody here, and i have nothing here.what went wrong? i don't know if i can handle this, for i don't know what i'm supposed to handle. if my keyboard were higher i assure you i would be banging my head agiasnt it right now, instead i'm just pulling out my hair. today is gonig to suck, and as much as i would like to sleep it all away i know i'll just be pissed at myself for doing so. i got nothing else....
It's Tuesday..I should be doing alright, should....i woke up several times last night, i had the night off and i'm used to only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night, so i'll blame it on that. but why i didn't get up at any those times is beyond me, i just didn't feel like it was right. as i sit here right now, it took a lot for me to get out of bed only minutes ago, everything seems out of place, out of mind. this is a terrible feeling, i don't know what has casued this, but imagine waking up, and nothing is as it should be. it feels as if you are missing something, you aren't in te right place you're in a different dimension almost. this is killing me...sorry, i just can't get over whatever this feeling is. i'm on the verge of breaking down...i have nobody here, and i have nothing here.what went wrong? i don't know if i can handle this, for i don't know what i'm supposed to handle. if my keyboard were higher i assure you i would be banging my head agiasnt it right now, instead i'm just pulling out my hair. today is gonig to suck, and as much as i would like to sleep it all away i know i'll just be pissed at myself for doing so. i got nothing else....
Saturday, August 09, 2003
Check it Out Check it Out Check it Out Check it Out Check it Out
Ok, that's actually a quote from Bubs on homestarrunner, but i like it....though it has nothing to do with what i'm posting. this post is actually for the little green buton you see to the left hand side, above the blogger button and above the weather bitch. scenario, ever been reading blogs at work, when you're supposed to be working? well ya click on that little guy running towards the door button and magically what you are viewing transforms into something else, you can pick and choose, i went with the excel document, try it out. i think it is pretty bad ass and i just like to click it for the schneel of it when i am at my house...
Ok, that's actually a quote from Bubs on homestarrunner, but i like it....though it has nothing to do with what i'm posting. this post is actually for the little green buton you see to the left hand side, above the blogger button and above the weather bitch. scenario, ever been reading blogs at work, when you're supposed to be working? well ya click on that little guy running towards the door button and magically what you are viewing transforms into something else, you can pick and choose, i went with the excel document, try it out. i think it is pretty bad ass and i just like to click it for the schneel of it when i am at my house...
Friday, August 08, 2003
Something Bad is Gonna Happen....
Ok, maybe this is just me and how my crazed conspiracy theory mind works, but here's a little story for ya..... for the past couple of days i've been getting this call on my cell phone, i thought it was weird when i read the number, but i continued to answer it anyways, i mean it was still somehow ringing. the number, 001-819, yup, that's it,. 6 digits, no area code, nothing, ringing in on my phone. so i go ahead and answer it, after picking up an automated chick comes on telling me the other party is on hold, please wait for us to connect, so i'm waiting, she's come back saying she's stil tryingto connect, then finnaly she appologizes for me waiting but wasn't able to connect, they'll try back later. i'm thinking it was some pay phone thing, somebody was trying to get ahold of me for whatever reason and it just wasn't going through. they have called at least 8 times, even today they called, i've only answered three of the times, that's when they first started coming in, and coming in all at once, now they're spread out. so now it got me thinking, the government or aliens have decided to call me because they want to abduct me or something, i have information for them, am the next anti-christ, who knows, so they cal and by putting me on hold long enough they can trace where the signal for the cell phone is going to. how messed up is that. they're using technology and my will of not answering the phone agianst me. this sucks, so if you don't see me soon, or i'm different somehow, this is why. funny thing, as i sit here and make this post, my power keeps flashing, pretty freaky.....
Ok, maybe this is just me and how my crazed conspiracy theory mind works, but here's a little story for ya..... for the past couple of days i've been getting this call on my cell phone, i thought it was weird when i read the number, but i continued to answer it anyways, i mean it was still somehow ringing. the number, 001-819, yup, that's it,. 6 digits, no area code, nothing, ringing in on my phone. so i go ahead and answer it, after picking up an automated chick comes on telling me the other party is on hold, please wait for us to connect, so i'm waiting, she's come back saying she's stil tryingto connect, then finnaly she appologizes for me waiting but wasn't able to connect, they'll try back later. i'm thinking it was some pay phone thing, somebody was trying to get ahold of me for whatever reason and it just wasn't going through. they have called at least 8 times, even today they called, i've only answered three of the times, that's when they first started coming in, and coming in all at once, now they're spread out. so now it got me thinking, the government or aliens have decided to call me because they want to abduct me or something, i have information for them, am the next anti-christ, who knows, so they cal and by putting me on hold long enough they can trace where the signal for the cell phone is going to. how messed up is that. they're using technology and my will of not answering the phone agianst me. this sucks, so if you don't see me soon, or i'm different somehow, this is why. funny thing, as i sit here and make this post, my power keeps flashing, pretty freaky.....
BOB: Big Ol Bastard!
Ok, so here is a little name game, actually name rant. I don't like the name bob, robbert, robby, bobby, whatever. Elizabeth, whatever you do, DO NOT name your child robert, i'd have to beat the crap out of him everyday for all eternity. yeah a little far but i really hate that name. I have yet to meet a nice bob, they're all jackasses. I'm talking about people with thier first name being robert, whatever they prefer to be called, if their first name is bob/robert/whatever, throw them to pile and burn like they did in auschwitz. the more i think about it, the angrier i get, i'm sorry. this doesn't go for people with the middle name of bob, i don't have any set ideals for those people, they are fine as far as i know. but by declaring your child's name to be robert, you have placed the worst curse on society, not so much the child, but anyone who comes into contact with "Bob". Robert, straight from the devil's mouth, like spitting acid from your tongue. every time i hear or say bob it makes me want to curse, but i think i already have by saying that damnable name. Ask yourself, what villainous people do you have contact with named Bob, think about them for a second and you'll understand what i'm talking about. I could present you with my list, but i won't, we pretty much know the same people....robby bryant, my father, my father's father, bob gerleiuski, robert i can't think of his last name, the list continues....it's kinda funny when you think about it, my allias of "bob johnson" would be the alter ego i hate, the evil, vengeful, bastard like person, like a jeckel and hyde sort of thing, then i suppose most people would say bob johnson is mostly present in me, haha F off. so yeah, that is all....
p.s. i don't tink this counts for famous people, though i could be wrong...
Ok, so here is a little name game, actually name rant. I don't like the name bob, robbert, robby, bobby, whatever. Elizabeth, whatever you do, DO NOT name your child robert, i'd have to beat the crap out of him everyday for all eternity. yeah a little far but i really hate that name. I have yet to meet a nice bob, they're all jackasses. I'm talking about people with thier first name being robert, whatever they prefer to be called, if their first name is bob/robert/whatever, throw them to pile and burn like they did in auschwitz. the more i think about it, the angrier i get, i'm sorry. this doesn't go for people with the middle name of bob, i don't have any set ideals for those people, they are fine as far as i know. but by declaring your child's name to be robert, you have placed the worst curse on society, not so much the child, but anyone who comes into contact with "Bob". Robert, straight from the devil's mouth, like spitting acid from your tongue. every time i hear or say bob it makes me want to curse, but i think i already have by saying that damnable name. Ask yourself, what villainous people do you have contact with named Bob, think about them for a second and you'll understand what i'm talking about. I could present you with my list, but i won't, we pretty much know the same people....robby bryant, my father, my father's father, bob gerleiuski, robert i can't think of his last name, the list continues....it's kinda funny when you think about it, my allias of "bob johnson" would be the alter ego i hate, the evil, vengeful, bastard like person, like a jeckel and hyde sort of thing, then i suppose most people would say bob johnson is mostly present in me, haha F off. so yeah, that is all....
p.s. i don't tink this counts for famous people, though i could be wrong...
Thursday, August 07, 2003
"Hallelujah!!!"
As we all know, my favorite asian tony came down last weekend to visit with me, and what a time we had. but of course because i drove he was subjected to my terms and conditions, my music and settings will stay, so F you, even the temperature is set in stone, right Jimmy C??? But i did my best to try and please him to an extent, changing cd's every now and then, i wasn't really in the mood for anything in particular which helped. but after the fair incident, i needed someting to suit the mood, it was leonard cohen. as i put the cd in i in advance appoligized for it, knowing how some people are, ignorant. so we're listening to the cd all the way down to lafayette when out of nowhere, tony says, "i like this" at first i thought he was joking, but he was very serious, he enjoyed not only the lyrics, but get this, the sound as well, haha, excellent. that's one more converted over to the "other" side, which soul will be next???
As we all know, my favorite asian tony came down last weekend to visit with me, and what a time we had. but of course because i drove he was subjected to my terms and conditions, my music and settings will stay, so F you, even the temperature is set in stone, right Jimmy C??? But i did my best to try and please him to an extent, changing cd's every now and then, i wasn't really in the mood for anything in particular which helped. but after the fair incident, i needed someting to suit the mood, it was leonard cohen. as i put the cd in i in advance appoligized for it, knowing how some people are, ignorant. so we're listening to the cd all the way down to lafayette when out of nowhere, tony says, "i like this" at first i thought he was joking, but he was very serious, he enjoyed not only the lyrics, but get this, the sound as well, haha, excellent. that's one more converted over to the "other" side, which soul will be next???
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
"We're getting the Band back Together...."
Yup, you heard it, we're getting the band back together, well not actually the band, we never had a band, but the band of brothers rather, the crew, the posse. yeah, we have to put aside any petty grudges and come together, we need you for this. why are we asking for this, to reminice? no, maybe a little, but we need the chemistry of the crew in order to produce real life scripts and dialouge. Zach has come across some information on a short film festival, and we want to enter. it needs to be sent it by september 12, so we really need to crunch to get this done, writting scripts filming, editing and the such. we are starting as soon as possible, if you want to be a part, just let us know. thank you.
Yup, you heard it, we're getting the band back together, well not actually the band, we never had a band, but the band of brothers rather, the crew, the posse. yeah, we have to put aside any petty grudges and come together, we need you for this. why are we asking for this, to reminice? no, maybe a little, but we need the chemistry of the crew in order to produce real life scripts and dialouge. Zach has come across some information on a short film festival, and we want to enter. it needs to be sent it by september 12, so we really need to crunch to get this done, writting scripts filming, editing and the such. we are starting as soon as possible, if you want to be a part, just let us know. thank you.
Monday, August 04, 2003
Holy Mother of Sounds!!!!
So I was sitting at my computer, doing my thing, geting bored, trying to remember wht i wanted to blog and xanga about, yeah iu had two ideas and they are now gone..so i'm sitting here and i went to high with my mouse and my SoundBlaster Live! task bar dropped down, i looked at it for a bit, then i saw it had some options, in lies the fun. well it has these effects you can mess with to make whatever noise your computer generates, or music playing throguh winamp sound like, such as comeing out of a cave, underwater, carpeted hallway, stone room, and so forth. but the two that really caught my attention were the ones called "drugged" and "psychotic". yeah listening to songs with those effects is messed up. i was listening to angie when i started to mess with this, so natuarlly i had to play some zeppelin, he he. so now, if you ever want to listen to the music and have the effects of been stoned without the hastle of getting and paying for weed, just click the option on the taskbar and have some fun...next will be pink floyd......
So I was sitting at my computer, doing my thing, geting bored, trying to remember wht i wanted to blog and xanga about, yeah iu had two ideas and they are now gone..so i'm sitting here and i went to high with my mouse and my SoundBlaster Live! task bar dropped down, i looked at it for a bit, then i saw it had some options, in lies the fun. well it has these effects you can mess with to make whatever noise your computer generates, or music playing throguh winamp sound like, such as comeing out of a cave, underwater, carpeted hallway, stone room, and so forth. but the two that really caught my attention were the ones called "drugged" and "psychotic". yeah listening to songs with those effects is messed up. i was listening to angie when i started to mess with this, so natuarlly i had to play some zeppelin, he he. so now, if you ever want to listen to the music and have the effects of been stoned without the hastle of getting and paying for weed, just click the option on the taskbar and have some fun...next will be pink floyd......
Sunday, August 03, 2003
The Virgin Mary....
So as I was coming home, geting out sorta early from Target, 6 or so, doing my usual route down 41 cruising at 70 i pass by the Virgin Mary, now as we all know this is my time to have my religious moment for the day. I was thinking about stopping, but passed that idea for i needed to get some sleep because asian tony was coming down today. So as i am taking my look at the statue, i notice a car off on the service road next to it, no big deal, probably just the farmers or something, until i noticed the car's front end was up in the air. In my very jason-esque manner, i did my U-turn at 231 and 41 and headed back. when i pulled up there was somebody already there, but i proceded to see if they needed help or anything. The lady handed me a card for a towing truck, so i called for one, saying they'd be there in 45 minutes, and the guy who was there before i decidd to get on with his way. It was really amazing what she did, apparently she was coming from Crown Point and wanted to visit the statue at 1am, crazy. but in the confusion of not being aboe to see te right roads, she took the serice road next to the statue, i'll admit, it is near impossible to get to the Virgin Mary at night, the entrances are not lit up and you have no idea where you're aiming for. So she has to be flying down this service road which extends straight for a good 150 feet becasue at the curve there was a huge concrete sewer drain pipe thing. she nailed that, knocking that over and under her car, propping the front end of it in the air. i say no signs of skid marks on the ravel road whatsoever. i havea pic on my xanga, it's funny. so i stayed and conversed a bit, then figured it was appropriate to the call the police, she didn't want me to so i had to sneak to my car to do so. the cop came and we waited...and waited. a little time frame for you: i arrived on the scene at 6:20, called for the tow at 6:22, cop came at 6:45, re-called for the tow at 7:00, re re called for the tow at 7:30, called for our own tow at 7:45, our tow arrives at 8:00, gets her out and i am back on the road at 8:17, yeah close to 2 hours there talking and whatnot, when i should have been sleeping.....
i'm always helping out..oh, the cop said he passed by the statue in the morning and noticed the car but thought nothing of it, then felt bad for not stopping and praised me a little. yeah i can rock at times....
So as I was coming home, geting out sorta early from Target, 6 or so, doing my usual route down 41 cruising at 70 i pass by the Virgin Mary, now as we all know this is my time to have my religious moment for the day. I was thinking about stopping, but passed that idea for i needed to get some sleep because asian tony was coming down today. So as i am taking my look at the statue, i notice a car off on the service road next to it, no big deal, probably just the farmers or something, until i noticed the car's front end was up in the air. In my very jason-esque manner, i did my U-turn at 231 and 41 and headed back. when i pulled up there was somebody already there, but i proceded to see if they needed help or anything. The lady handed me a card for a towing truck, so i called for one, saying they'd be there in 45 minutes, and the guy who was there before i decidd to get on with his way. It was really amazing what she did, apparently she was coming from Crown Point and wanted to visit the statue at 1am, crazy. but in the confusion of not being aboe to see te right roads, she took the serice road next to the statue, i'll admit, it is near impossible to get to the Virgin Mary at night, the entrances are not lit up and you have no idea where you're aiming for. So she has to be flying down this service road which extends straight for a good 150 feet becasue at the curve there was a huge concrete sewer drain pipe thing. she nailed that, knocking that over and under her car, propping the front end of it in the air. i say no signs of skid marks on the ravel road whatsoever. i havea pic on my xanga, it's funny. so i stayed and conversed a bit, then figured it was appropriate to the call the police, she didn't want me to so i had to sneak to my car to do so. the cop came and we waited...and waited. a little time frame for you: i arrived on the scene at 6:20, called for the tow at 6:22, cop came at 6:45, re-called for the tow at 7:00, re re called for the tow at 7:30, called for our own tow at 7:45, our tow arrives at 8:00, gets her out and i am back on the road at 8:17, yeah close to 2 hours there talking and whatnot, when i should have been sleeping.....
i'm always helping out..oh, the cop said he passed by the statue in the morning and noticed the car but thought nothing of it, then felt bad for not stopping and praised me a little. yeah i can rock at times....
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Irony at It's Best....
So as I lay here, trying tot sleep admist all the cals from asian tony updating me where he is at, my mind gets on memory lane and takes off at the Bad Times exit. I tell him the sad story and to look for a certain town... It was August 1st 2001 and I was leaving Ann Arbor after a week of Freshman orientation, good times. I headded out early as I was to meet with Brooke upon my arrival back in Indiana. I was still in Michigan, but 30 miles from the boarder when my transmission fried. It wa a terrible time, actually over three hours in that damn place, from truck stop to police station. why it took my parents three hours to go about an hour's worth of trip is beyond me, and the ride home was another two. so all in all the day was completly blown, but here's what i want to point out....since yesterday was an "anniversery" if you will, it seems too ironic that my point can be made twice. So here it my point, brooke was supposed to come over and visit with me or something of the sorts, well she never came over, never called, nothing, I was totally left in the dark..speed ahead a couple years to yesterday. actually the night prior, i called brooke on my way to target, she commentedhow she worked til 4 on that day of the first. well i tried my damndest to get ahold of her yesterday, never did, she never got ahold of me either. I come to find out from her sister she left the phone at home and spent the night with her friend. yeah...i really hate the end of july..at least my other curse didn't happen...yet....
So as I lay here, trying tot sleep admist all the cals from asian tony updating me where he is at, my mind gets on memory lane and takes off at the Bad Times exit. I tell him the sad story and to look for a certain town... It was August 1st 2001 and I was leaving Ann Arbor after a week of Freshman orientation, good times. I headded out early as I was to meet with Brooke upon my arrival back in Indiana. I was still in Michigan, but 30 miles from the boarder when my transmission fried. It wa a terrible time, actually over three hours in that damn place, from truck stop to police station. why it took my parents three hours to go about an hour's worth of trip is beyond me, and the ride home was another two. so all in all the day was completly blown, but here's what i want to point out....since yesterday was an "anniversery" if you will, it seems too ironic that my point can be made twice. So here it my point, brooke was supposed to come over and visit with me or something of the sorts, well she never came over, never called, nothing, I was totally left in the dark..speed ahead a couple years to yesterday. actually the night prior, i called brooke on my way to target, she commentedhow she worked til 4 on that day of the first. well i tried my damndest to get ahold of her yesterday, never did, she never got ahold of me either. I come to find out from her sister she left the phone at home and spent the night with her friend. yeah...i really hate the end of july..at least my other curse didn't happen...yet....
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Asains Attack Lowell!!!
Well, actually just my favorite asain coming to lowell for the weekend, then maybe a couple others days in the next month as well. so i gave him directions on how to get here from michigan, ahh i remember giving directions from lowell to michigan not to long ago.but as we all know i am the master of directions, right zach, they were so amazed by the detial i gave them when the visited me, yeah, i'm great giving directions, maybe someone else could pick up on that, **coughedcough** i actually gave him two sets, told him to take whichever he prefered, but yeah, if all goes well he will be arriving saturday sometime, then it's off to lafayette to see zach and party it up down there, yeah. hahaha. but if he doesn't make it sat, i will be upset, but he'lll be here sunday he says, so whatever, we'll just see what happens. oh, if you go to his new website, you'll see just how asian he really is, lordy it's funny. but yeah, that's all for now, my weekend sounds like it will be fun filled full of friends and such, there's only one person missing from it i really want apart of it.....
Well, actually just my favorite asain coming to lowell for the weekend, then maybe a couple others days in the next month as well. so i gave him directions on how to get here from michigan, ahh i remember giving directions from lowell to michigan not to long ago.but as we all know i am the master of directions, right zach, they were so amazed by the detial i gave them when the visited me, yeah, i'm great giving directions, maybe someone else could pick up on that, **coughedcough** i actually gave him two sets, told him to take whichever he prefered, but yeah, if all goes well he will be arriving saturday sometime, then it's off to lafayette to see zach and party it up down there, yeah. hahaha. but if he doesn't make it sat, i will be upset, but he'lll be here sunday he says, so whatever, we'll just see what happens. oh, if you go to his new website, you'll see just how asian he really is, lordy it's funny. but yeah, that's all for now, my weekend sounds like it will be fun filled full of friends and such, there's only one person missing from it i really want apart of it.....
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Monday, July 28, 2003
The College Student's Guide To Instant Messenger Etiquette
1) It is required to offer all IMing partners some kind of farewell before signing off of Instant Messenger completely. One must wait until all parties have said goodbye before signing off.
2) One must use indicator of sarcasm and/or humor after making like comments, i.e. Smiley Face or equally appropriate laugh symbols.
3) One must inform the other party if one must take a leave of absence from computer terminal. Feel free to use any abbreviation necessary. i.e. AFK, BRB.
4) Serious topics can only be discussed in an Instant Messenger environment under the following circumstances:
If said relationship is primarily based on online communication.
If said relationship is newly formed.
If serious topic is very embarrassing.
5) Be aware that all information in an IM conversation has the ability to be saved, pasted and/or forwarded to at least 237 of the IM partner's closest friends.
6) One does not reserve the right to get angry if any Instant Messenger information is shared with the general public.
7) It is recommended to wait at least one minute or the time it takes for screen name to leave boldfaced state before messaging buddy.
8) Wait a minimum period of 10 minutes after initial IM before accusing party of IM avoidance. If, after 10 minutes, buddy has not been reduced to his/her idle state, one reserves the right to be offended.
9) Be familiar with the status of all buddies, such as people you will never IM, people you don't actually know, or people you stalk. Make certain each buddy is separated according to status, as to avoid accidental IMing.
10) One cannot be the initial IMer consistently over a short time period. After a maximum of 3 initial IMs, one must refrain all IM initiating until other party initiates an IM interaction.
11) ONE MAY NOT SIGN OFF MID CONVERSATION. However, if there are circumstances beyond your control suck as getting "logged off" or "booted," one must offer an explanation upon the next IM interaction.
12) Recommended time between each response is a maximum of 1.5 minutes. If user provides reasonable explanation (i.e. slow server, external events, or multiple IM interactions), response time can be extended.
13) If involved in a particularly intense IM conversation, all other IMs must be terminated immediately!
1) It is required to offer all IMing partners some kind of farewell before signing off of Instant Messenger completely. One must wait until all parties have said goodbye before signing off.
2) One must use indicator of sarcasm and/or humor after making like comments, i.e. Smiley Face or equally appropriate laugh symbols.
3) One must inform the other party if one must take a leave of absence from computer terminal. Feel free to use any abbreviation necessary. i.e. AFK, BRB.
4) Serious topics can only be discussed in an Instant Messenger environment under the following circumstances:
If said relationship is primarily based on online communication.
If said relationship is newly formed.
If serious topic is very embarrassing.
5) Be aware that all information in an IM conversation has the ability to be saved, pasted and/or forwarded to at least 237 of the IM partner's closest friends.
6) One does not reserve the right to get angry if any Instant Messenger information is shared with the general public.
7) It is recommended to wait at least one minute or the time it takes for screen name to leave boldfaced state before messaging buddy.
8) Wait a minimum period of 10 minutes after initial IM before accusing party of IM avoidance. If, after 10 minutes, buddy has not been reduced to his/her idle state, one reserves the right to be offended.
9) Be familiar with the status of all buddies, such as people you will never IM, people you don't actually know, or people you stalk. Make certain each buddy is separated according to status, as to avoid accidental IMing.
10) One cannot be the initial IMer consistently over a short time period. After a maximum of 3 initial IMs, one must refrain all IM initiating until other party initiates an IM interaction.
11) ONE MAY NOT SIGN OFF MID CONVERSATION. However, if there are circumstances beyond your control suck as getting "logged off" or "booted," one must offer an explanation upon the next IM interaction.
12) Recommended time between each response is a maximum of 1.5 minutes. If user provides reasonable explanation (i.e. slow server, external events, or multiple IM interactions), response time can be extended.
13) If involved in a particularly intense IM conversation, all other IMs must be terminated immediately!
A Nice Conversation Piece...
The following is aconversation I had with Steph over the weekend, well kinda, but here is how it should have basically went....
Steph and zach are talking about some guy steph knows and he's calling her wanting to get together, enter me....
Me: "So wait, you don't beleive in love at first sight?"
Steph: "No, how can you?"
M: "It's a feeling you get, like I think I like that person"
Z: "Yeah, like hey I want to talk to that person, like he night be a cool person or something"
S: "And what about when you're wrong?"
M: "I've never had that problem, your gut instincts are hardly ever wrong"
Z: "Yeah, exactly. I mean he could be the one Steph"
S: "No he isn't, and besides he lives in philadelphia"
Z: "So.."
I interupt...
M: "So wait, you don't believe in love at first sight, and you don't beleive in a long sitance relationship?"
S: "No"
M : "Then you my firend do not beleive in love, what you believe in is settling down with someone you really really like"
Well that's the truth is it not, think about it, if you don't beleive in those fairy tale movie esque qualities, then you can't beleive in the fairy tale movie esque feeling of love and doing anything for that love, maybe it's just me...
The following is aconversation I had with Steph over the weekend, well kinda, but here is how it should have basically went....
Steph and zach are talking about some guy steph knows and he's calling her wanting to get together, enter me....
Me: "So wait, you don't beleive in love at first sight?"
Steph: "No, how can you?"
M: "It's a feeling you get, like I think I like that person"
Z: "Yeah, like hey I want to talk to that person, like he night be a cool person or something"
S: "And what about when you're wrong?"
M: "I've never had that problem, your gut instincts are hardly ever wrong"
Z: "Yeah, exactly. I mean he could be the one Steph"
S: "No he isn't, and besides he lives in philadelphia"
Z: "So.."
I interupt...
M: "So wait, you don't believe in love at first sight, and you don't beleive in a long sitance relationship?"
S: "No"
M : "Then you my firend do not beleive in love, what you believe in is settling down with someone you really really like"
Well that's the truth is it not, think about it, if you don't beleive in those fairy tale movie esque qualities, then you can't beleive in the fairy tale movie esque feeling of love and doing anything for that love, maybe it's just me...
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Post with No Name
So it's after 830 and here I sit, power went out this morning, so I had to turn off my computer before the back-up power supply went out as well, but it was funny to see all those lowell F'ers not online for once. so with nothing else to do i slept, though I didn't really want to. I was hoping for a day to do some clearing up, but it rained and for soem reason I wanted nothing to do with it, very odd. my dreams agian didn't help me out at all, no ghosts this time, but oter hurtful things, hell, even costas was in my dream, yeah, scary shit. Oh, even my blog was in my dream, in fact it was my last post, but the link for evil spirits was different, it was a link to like winners of Jr. Miss or some other girly pagent, crazy. i woke up several times, but had no idea what time it really was, just darkness everywhere. brooke called me i think twice, but my memory is fuzzy. she's knows somethings wrong with me, but i just keep blowing her off because i don't know what to say. i think part of my problem is the fact that we won't really see each other in these last 2 weeks, and when we do, well, yeah, problem number 2, but i can't go into all these things with her, i'm just a bastard who will sit here and rot. another reason why i'm made is my tought process is messing up on me, if i have something to say, and someone says something else before i say it, my thought is completely gone, all i'm left with is a little note saying, yeah i was here. this has happened more often than it should be, I don't think that's a sign of anyting, just me. and for anyone to say i've changed, good god does that piss me off. everybody knows i'm not a fan of change, so ten why would i do so? i'm still the nmessed up person i've always been, nothing nor nobody can change that, i'm me, if you think i've changed, well then you didn't know me. people anger me, and my friends are many miles away, or will soon be, for about 9 months i will go back to having nothing, suprisingly it's a little less than what i have now. i don't know why exactly i am rambling all this unto you, I'm defiantly not asking for sympathy or pity,maybe it's just if you see me and i'm acting down or a little different, this is why, sorry to trouble you with all this garbage, i'll try to get back to something soon....
So it's after 830 and here I sit, power went out this morning, so I had to turn off my computer before the back-up power supply went out as well, but it was funny to see all those lowell F'ers not online for once. so with nothing else to do i slept, though I didn't really want to. I was hoping for a day to do some clearing up, but it rained and for soem reason I wanted nothing to do with it, very odd. my dreams agian didn't help me out at all, no ghosts this time, but oter hurtful things, hell, even costas was in my dream, yeah, scary shit. Oh, even my blog was in my dream, in fact it was my last post, but the link for evil spirits was different, it was a link to like winners of Jr. Miss or some other girly pagent, crazy. i woke up several times, but had no idea what time it really was, just darkness everywhere. brooke called me i think twice, but my memory is fuzzy. she's knows somethings wrong with me, but i just keep blowing her off because i don't know what to say. i think part of my problem is the fact that we won't really see each other in these last 2 weeks, and when we do, well, yeah, problem number 2, but i can't go into all these things with her, i'm just a bastard who will sit here and rot. another reason why i'm made is my tought process is messing up on me, if i have something to say, and someone says something else before i say it, my thought is completely gone, all i'm left with is a little note saying, yeah i was here. this has happened more often than it should be, I don't think that's a sign of anyting, just me. and for anyone to say i've changed, good god does that piss me off. everybody knows i'm not a fan of change, so ten why would i do so? i'm still the nmessed up person i've always been, nothing nor nobody can change that, i'm me, if you think i've changed, well then you didn't know me. people anger me, and my friends are many miles away, or will soon be, for about 9 months i will go back to having nothing, suprisingly it's a little less than what i have now. i don't know why exactly i am rambling all this unto you, I'm defiantly not asking for sympathy or pity,maybe it's just if you see me and i'm acting down or a little different, this is why, sorry to trouble you with all this garbage, i'll try to get back to something soon....
What's the Real Deal with Bill McNeal???
So I am thinking I'm in some sort of slump, but I don't recall ever having a late July early August slump, normally everything is fine at that point, except for three years in a row of car troubles happening around that point( cursed curse) I mean I was even moping around at the Sox game Friday (yesterday still in my head) as I mentioned in my Xanga, but I was totally enjoying it, just couldn't show it. So today (really yesterday, but I'll just say Saturday) I figured I just needed rest, sleep cures all right? well except laziness and other things, but sleep should do the trick, by the time I'd wake everything would be forgotten and I'd be fine. Think agian, sleep only fed it. And not only did sleep make things worse, but during my sleep I had dreams, or should I say nightmares, yeah nightmares, I had nightmares. There were a multitude of dreams, but i can't remember what order they were in or where they broke, they just ran together. I remember they made me depressed in the dream, I cried or felt like crying, sometimes I was in my old house, sometiems here, renting out parts of them as well becasue they were made into one house, and brooke was there but she was saying things which only made everything worse. and then there were ghosts, god i am so terrified of ghosts, but only in my dream, I mean I have always wanted to go to ghost sites and be a parapsychologist. but for some reason ghosts are in my dream and they are always evil spirits, always doing some sort of harm, and I think this time I was going to die. eek. at one point I thought they were gone, but then as the parapsychologist came over his detectore thing was going crazy and the whole house was haunted, not just one room. I don't know what any of this means really, I've always thought my old house was haunted, but I didn't think about that at all yesterday or any time recently. So there must be a lot going on, I don't know what is going on really. At work tonight Wendy asked me if I wanted to go to the warehouse with her after everyone left, normally I would say yes becuase I hate the fact that we're there on saturdays for only a couple hours, but i told her no, it would be best for me not to be around people at that point because earlier i went off on a coworker for writting on my car, which I had warned them about many times prior. I don't know, it's just something that makes me erally mad, probably because it's harder to get off. i'd rather have someone piss on it then write in the dirt messing up the paint and all. Well I'm hoping tomorrow is nice, I just want to sit outside and look around for a bit, maybe go driving out in te country and whatnot, just someting to get away from it all, or clear my head, or find direction. I'm getting a little tired, though I'm afraid to fall asleep knowing that it will probably mess with me some more, but at this point I'd say if I were to fall asleep, I'd be lucky to not wake.
"Search til the end, when you do you'll realize you're at the beginning"
So I am thinking I'm in some sort of slump, but I don't recall ever having a late July early August slump, normally everything is fine at that point, except for three years in a row of car troubles happening around that point( cursed curse) I mean I was even moping around at the Sox game Friday (yesterday still in my head) as I mentioned in my Xanga, but I was totally enjoying it, just couldn't show it. So today (really yesterday, but I'll just say Saturday) I figured I just needed rest, sleep cures all right? well except laziness and other things, but sleep should do the trick, by the time I'd wake everything would be forgotten and I'd be fine. Think agian, sleep only fed it. And not only did sleep make things worse, but during my sleep I had dreams, or should I say nightmares, yeah nightmares, I had nightmares. There were a multitude of dreams, but i can't remember what order they were in or where they broke, they just ran together. I remember they made me depressed in the dream, I cried or felt like crying, sometimes I was in my old house, sometiems here, renting out parts of them as well becasue they were made into one house, and brooke was there but she was saying things which only made everything worse. and then there were ghosts, god i am so terrified of ghosts, but only in my dream, I mean I have always wanted to go to ghost sites and be a parapsychologist. but for some reason ghosts are in my dream and they are always evil spirits, always doing some sort of harm, and I think this time I was going to die. eek. at one point I thought they were gone, but then as the parapsychologist came over his detectore thing was going crazy and the whole house was haunted, not just one room. I don't know what any of this means really, I've always thought my old house was haunted, but I didn't think about that at all yesterday or any time recently. So there must be a lot going on, I don't know what is going on really. At work tonight Wendy asked me if I wanted to go to the warehouse with her after everyone left, normally I would say yes becuase I hate the fact that we're there on saturdays for only a couple hours, but i told her no, it would be best for me not to be around people at that point because earlier i went off on a coworker for writting on my car, which I had warned them about many times prior. I don't know, it's just something that makes me erally mad, probably because it's harder to get off. i'd rather have someone piss on it then write in the dirt messing up the paint and all. Well I'm hoping tomorrow is nice, I just want to sit outside and look around for a bit, maybe go driving out in te country and whatnot, just someting to get away from it all, or clear my head, or find direction. I'm getting a little tired, though I'm afraid to fall asleep knowing that it will probably mess with me some more, but at this point I'd say if I were to fall asleep, I'd be lucky to not wake.
"Search til the end, when you do you'll realize you're at the beginning"
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Take that Jerks!!!
Ok, so yesterday i went to Burger King, of course it was Whopper Wednesday. so i'm at the counter waiting for my whopper no onion and chicken tender things when in walks a couple that sends a shiver down my spine. i remember these freaky people from the days when i worked at costas, and let me tell you i have met some of the strangest people becasue of that store..anwyas, this is the freaky couple wherein i most often notice the lady, i wouldn't really recognize the guy if it weren't for her. she's the somewhat short, bright red lipstick on, hair all over the place and colored diffferently throughout the lengths, kinda a orangish red is what she is going for yet whit at the part on top. she's a bigger lady and hobbles and as well. but the thing that makes her more distinct than anyone else is what they do to you, yeah they are the pamphlet passer outers. i knew my time was coming, they walked up behind me, started to make conversation and such like they normally do, but i knew i wasn't going to ake any of their shit. so as my order came up, i said that's me, and they, in normal fashion, went to shake my hand, i oblidged adn then they went to stick their paper in my hand, i quickly pulled away, leaving just enough gap during the handshake to escape, kinda hudinii-esque. i put my hand up in the NO style, then shook it as i said these words..."sorry, i'm old enoguh to think for myself" then walked away..it was amazing!
Ok, so yesterday i went to Burger King, of course it was Whopper Wednesday. so i'm at the counter waiting for my whopper no onion and chicken tender things when in walks a couple that sends a shiver down my spine. i remember these freaky people from the days when i worked at costas, and let me tell you i have met some of the strangest people becasue of that store..anwyas, this is the freaky couple wherein i most often notice the lady, i wouldn't really recognize the guy if it weren't for her. she's the somewhat short, bright red lipstick on, hair all over the place and colored diffferently throughout the lengths, kinda a orangish red is what she is going for yet whit at the part on top. she's a bigger lady and hobbles and as well. but the thing that makes her more distinct than anyone else is what they do to you, yeah they are the pamphlet passer outers. i knew my time was coming, they walked up behind me, started to make conversation and such like they normally do, but i knew i wasn't going to ake any of their shit. so as my order came up, i said that's me, and they, in normal fashion, went to shake my hand, i oblidged adn then they went to stick their paper in my hand, i quickly pulled away, leaving just enough gap during the handshake to escape, kinda hudinii-esque. i put my hand up in the NO style, then shook it as i said these words..."sorry, i'm old enoguh to think for myself" then walked away..it was amazing!
Everybody Knows the Ballad of Frankie Lee Buying a Stairway To Heaven in the House of the Rising Sun on Desolation Row Next to Positively Fourth Street at Closing Time
so yesterday i was listening to the radio to kill time as i sat in the office twiddling my thumbs..oh i have been starting to play a little on the computers, making comments and such, homestarrunner and whatnot, yeah it's all good..but as i was saing, i was listening to the radio and i heard Peter frampton's Baby I Love Your Way, ok bad enoghu it's peter F'ing frampton, to quote high fidelity, but it was a female version, so i'm listening to it, then all of a sudden the words are different, i sit there and think, wait this isn't right, then i finally catch on, they started singing lyrics to freebird. so now i'm all confused, then i'm thinknig maybe they'll rock out, but then it went back to baby i love your way. ok can someone please help me figure out why they put those two songs together, is there some musical secret i did not know of, or this is just some mystery and more songs should be put together to sound better?
so yesterday i was listening to the radio to kill time as i sat in the office twiddling my thumbs..oh i have been starting to play a little on the computers, making comments and such, homestarrunner and whatnot, yeah it's all good..but as i was saing, i was listening to the radio and i heard Peter frampton's Baby I Love Your Way, ok bad enoghu it's peter F'ing frampton, to quote high fidelity, but it was a female version, so i'm listening to it, then all of a sudden the words are different, i sit there and think, wait this isn't right, then i finally catch on, they started singing lyrics to freebird. so now i'm all confused, then i'm thinknig maybe they'll rock out, but then it went back to baby i love your way. ok can someone please help me figure out why they put those two songs together, is there some musical secret i did not know of, or this is just some mystery and more songs should be put together to sound better?
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Speaking of......
Yeah, speaking of the Illinois State Fair, would anybody like to go this year? it is a tradiation in the making or myself, this will be year number 3 for me. jimmy i'm looking in your direction if you are around. hell you could make it an event by far, why not, take 2 days, i don't care, whatever.....zach, i know you need a break from everything, come on, ted nugent is playing there.. it's august 8th through the 17th. who doesn't want to see the butter cow??? zak, i don't think you ever got those pics for your mom, we could get them this time, he he. we could also listen to boston, or hootie and the blowfish, or the symphonic pops orchestra of chicago...yeah it will be a good ol time guys.....
Yeah, speaking of the Illinois State Fair, would anybody like to go this year? it is a tradiation in the making or myself, this will be year number 3 for me. jimmy i'm looking in your direction if you are around. hell you could make it an event by far, why not, take 2 days, i don't care, whatever.....zach, i know you need a break from everything, come on, ted nugent is playing there.. it's august 8th through the 17th. who doesn't want to see the butter cow??? zak, i don't think you ever got those pics for your mom, we could get them this time, he he. we could also listen to boston, or hootie and the blowfish, or the symphonic pops orchestra of chicago...yeah it will be a good ol time guys.....
To Go, or Not To Go, or its it TOGO's?
So Tony, my favorite asian has given me an offer i couldn't refuse, well ok i can refuse it, in fact i'm questioning what to do about it, that's why i'm posting...anways...he has asked me to come down to NC to drive up with him to UofMichigan, and he'll pay for the plane ticket. ok here's the catch, we all know i do not fly on planes, good god i'm i deathly afraid of them, but problem averted, he said i could take a greyhound, if i could endure the 16 hour long ride...yeah if i can stay up for many hours past 24 on little to no sleep driving across indiana 4 times over, yeah i can do tat...anyways i got to drive up to michigan with him, so what's the difference, on the plus side i'll get to stretch out and whatnot, unlike driving, though my ass will be feeling the hurt after it is all done. another good thing is i will have plenty of time to write my thoguhts and whatnot, he he, yeah.....ok so i got things planned, august 4 through however many days it will take to drive all around, missing out on some good fair days, hopefully not the illinois state fair, it's a thought.....
So Tony, my favorite asian has given me an offer i couldn't refuse, well ok i can refuse it, in fact i'm questioning what to do about it, that's why i'm posting...anways...he has asked me to come down to NC to drive up with him to UofMichigan, and he'll pay for the plane ticket. ok here's the catch, we all know i do not fly on planes, good god i'm i deathly afraid of them, but problem averted, he said i could take a greyhound, if i could endure the 16 hour long ride...yeah if i can stay up for many hours past 24 on little to no sleep driving across indiana 4 times over, yeah i can do tat...anyways i got to drive up to michigan with him, so what's the difference, on the plus side i'll get to stretch out and whatnot, unlike driving, though my ass will be feeling the hurt after it is all done. another good thing is i will have plenty of time to write my thoguhts and whatnot, he he, yeah.....ok so i got things planned, august 4 through however many days it will take to drive all around, missing out on some good fair days, hopefully not the illinois state fair, it's a thought.....
Just For the Record...
Ok, I really hate it when people post AIM conversations in their blog, now i know sometimes they are funny and whatnot, but especially the lengthy ones need to be stopped. Now yes I realize i did this only a few posts ago, would have liked to edit it at the time, but i needed to post it quickly for i was on the go, and didn't want to go back and mess with it. so yes, i stress people please stop with the madness, it's over-used, over-rated, and frankly, i just don't get it. i would rather read, "sdjfhraejhfLJFhbvilvasldublsvdhfvblfdv hdfjgtaeoirle8w75vb " than have to sit through reading some stupid aim conversation that only you and the person you were talking to will enjoy. i really regret ever having posted tat one with zach now, but i think it's a combination of both that and other people's that is just eating away at me. i'm done venting now...maybe...
Ok, I really hate it when people post AIM conversations in their blog, now i know sometimes they are funny and whatnot, but especially the lengthy ones need to be stopped. Now yes I realize i did this only a few posts ago, would have liked to edit it at the time, but i needed to post it quickly for i was on the go, and didn't want to go back and mess with it. so yes, i stress people please stop with the madness, it's over-used, over-rated, and frankly, i just don't get it. i would rather read, "sdjfhraejhfLJFhbvilvasldublsvdhfvblfdv hdfjgtaeoirle8w75vb " than have to sit through reading some stupid aim conversation that only you and the person you were talking to will enjoy. i really regret ever having posted tat one with zach now, but i think it's a combination of both that and other people's that is just eating away at me. i'm done venting now...maybe...
HA, I'm insane....
So you know those pop up's when you're online, and at first it says "about:blank" in your toolbar and for the page itself, well i have no clue what it means, like i'm sure most of the internet surfing public out there, so zach help us out...but that's not the reason for this post, the real reason is i could've swore that it just said "all about blank", which to me is funny, don't know why, i laughed, and am still laughing, i think it has to be the way i am saying it, try it different ways, "all about blank" .Ya know, like it's "all about blank" ok this has to be the most meaningless post ever, sorry
So you know those pop up's when you're online, and at first it says "about:blank" in your toolbar and for the page itself, well i have no clue what it means, like i'm sure most of the internet surfing public out there, so zach help us out...but that's not the reason for this post, the real reason is i could've swore that it just said "all about blank", which to me is funny, don't know why, i laughed, and am still laughing, i think it has to be the way i am saying it, try it different ways, "all about blank" .Ya know, like it's "all about blank" ok this has to be the most meaningless post ever, sorry
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Damn Idea....
Anyone who has lived a life knows what an adveture it can be, face everyone has problems, granted some people more than others, but everyone at some point in their lives has come across troubled water. hell even rich people have problems, like which half a million dollar car they should buy next, but seriously i'm talking about real problems faced by people like you and i. Some people can fake throug it, falsifying their reality to make it through each day, ehich is basically like what i've done. i've tricked myself into thinkng that everything is alright at the current moment, when, only the opposite is true. I know that's not healthy, and it will make my reality only harder, but maybe that's the idea, whatever gets you through it all. some hide behind flimsy beliefs, like everything will sort itself out, others seek religion, whatever gets them through it. So while faking my present state, zach is going through yet another tumultuous turn in his life, and i have been reading on his blog, as you should be right now. So he IM's me today and we begin to talk about how much life sucks, when almost immediatly he mentions the idea, and i whole heartedly back him on this idea. now let me explain what is going on....zach and i have always had this idea to write a book, mainly on political structrings, organizations, philosophies, etc etc. Then last year zach started with his crazy ideas to travel around, becoming this sort of drifter, moving to canada and other things. So i ran with this idea, coupled it with an idea that was running in my head, and then the "idea" was born. What it is exactly is just this; we would travel across the country documenting our interactions with people from all over. we would find out basically what makes them them, their beliefs, ideas, values, morals, everything. and of course we would be writing in journals, videotapping, recording all that happened. it would be the sociological study of the century, maybe even never ending. we would be able to write a book, and of course i'd foresee a movie deal out of it. it's original as all hell, don't you think so. all i would want is some financial backing on this, maybe a publisher, producer, unniversity, anything really, we're non profit.
zachjb42 (3:25:09 PM): SUp!
zachjb42 (3:25:13 PM): How's it going friend?
Blue35Tuesday (3:25:20 PM): i'm good, how are you?
zachjb42 (3:25:32 PM): Doing pretty shitty.
zachjb42 (3:25:35 PM): Life just blows.
zachjb42 (3:25:36 PM): In a slump.
zachjb42 (3:25:44 PM): I feel a little bit better now that the house is clean.
zachjb42 (3:25:49 PM): I just spent 3 hours cleaning.
zachjb42 (3:25:50 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (3:26:08 PM): So what's up?
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:15 PM): wow
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:18 PM): noithing
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:20 PM): i'm sitting here
zachjb42 (3:26:22 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:26:28 PM): Now I am just sitting here...
zachjb42 (3:26:30 PM): I needed a smoke.
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:35 PM): hha
zachjb42 (3:26:42 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:26:46 PM): I got a craving.
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:46 PM): life sucks
zachjb42 (3:26:51 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:26:53 PM): That it does sir.
zachjb42 (3:26:58 PM): I might not be able to go back to school.
Blue35Tuesday (3:27:04 PM): i read about that
zachjb42 (3:27:05 PM): They totally fucked up my Financial Aid.
zachjb42 (3:27:12 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:27:22 PM): So now I am totally pissed and in the same situation that I was last year.
Blue35Tuesday (3:27:30 PM): they just teased you with it
zachjb42 (3:28:05 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:28:06 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:28:12 PM): We should really start writing our book.
zachjb42 (3:28:17 PM): Just our observations about things.
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:28 PM): ha, that'd be bad ass
zachjb42 (3:28:34 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:28:43 PM): We could publish it through one of those DIY publishing things.
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:46 PM): i'd love to be able to sit around and observe shit like that
zachjb42 (3:28:47 PM): It's realitivily cheap.
zachjb42 (3:28:54 PM): Plus we could sell it on Amazon.com
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:57 PM): if only we would have win the lotto
zachjb42 (3:28:58 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:29:00 PM): And get paid.
zachjb42 (3:29:01 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:29:09 PM): I would love to travel the country and just chat with people...
Blue35Tuesday (3:29:20 PM): hell yes
zachjb42 (3:29:36 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:29:40 PM): That would be awesome.
zachjb42 (3:29:52 PM): I was looking into starting a non-profit organization.
zachjb42 (3:29:58 PM): Getting some grants and the like.
zachjb42 (3:30:04 PM): I would love to just research things.
zachjb42 (3:30:10 PM): Write papers or discuss my findings.
zachjb42 (3:30:15 PM): Just how felt about certain things and why.
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:10 PM): yeah, i wonder if we could pitch the idea to a company
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:18 PM): both a book company and movie
zachjb42 (3:31:22 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:31:27 PM): I wonder...
zachjb42 (3:31:31 PM): That would be pretty cool...
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:32 PM): they could make a movie out of it, and they would pay us a bit to do i
zachjb42 (3:31:48 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:31:51 PM): That would be awesome.
Blue35Tuesday (3:32:58 PM): i wonder...
Blue35Tuesday (3:33:06 PM): i would totally be up for it if we had the backing
Blue35Tuesday (3:33:18 PM): i mean, what do we have to loose, really
zachjb42 (3:38:03 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:38:04 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:38:06 PM): Nothing.
Blue35Tuesday (3:43:37 PM): so do you think it is possible to pitch this idea to someone?
zachjb42 (3:44:12 PM): It might...
zachjb42 (3:44:18 PM): We could investigate it.
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:25 PM): i think it is worth it
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:29 PM): the time has come
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:40 PM): this is our opportunity
zachjb42 (3:44:50 PM): Perhaps...
zachjb42 (3:44:54 PM): Let's investigate it.
Blue35Tuesday (3:45:05 PM): doors don't close without windows opening, otherwise the presure in the hosue would be too great
Blue35Tuesday (3:46:15 PM): you see what io'm saying is, our lvies suck, doors have closed repeatedly on us, and unless you don't take this chance, what may be our window, we will end
zachjb42 (3:47:02 PM): True.
zachjb42 (3:47:33 PM): Let's go for it...
Blue35Tuesday (3:47:47 PM): :-D
Blue35Tuesday (3:50:50 PM): hell, we may even get some unniversity and their sociology department to back us
Blue35Tuesday (3:55:35 PM): sorry, my computer restarted
zachjb42 (3:56:25 PM): That's OK.
zachjb42 (3:58:28 PM): http://www.pitching.com/pitching_secrets.php
zachjb42 (3:58:50 PM): Perhaps he could teach us how to pitch...
zachjb42 (3:58:58 PM): LOL
Blue35Tuesday (3:59:05 PM): :-$
zachjb42 (3:59:23 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (3:59:29 PM): But seriously, here is a good place: http://www.ifebp.org/bookstore/pbinfobk.asp
Blue35Tuesday (3:59:44 PM): that was the only face i could think of appropriate
zachjb42 (3:59:56 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (4:00:26 PM): We need to find a publisher that publishes books like ours.
zachjb42 (4:00:33 PM): What are some books about traveling America...
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:05 PM): hmm, i'd say it's more a sociological type book as well
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:14 PM): i'm not into books so i have no idea
zachjb42 (4:01:24 PM): Neither do I.
zachjb42 (4:01:29 PM): I like books, just don't read'em.
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:50 PM): i think i will take a trip up to barnes and nobles in a bit
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:55 PM): maybe we should call G as well
zachjb42 (4:01:59 PM): http://www.blackwellpublishers.co.uk/asp/sociolog.asp
zachjb42 (4:02:05 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (4:02:10 PM): What's his phone number?
zachjb42 (4:02:13 PM): Or you could call him.
zachjb42 (4:02:17 PM): I'll keep finding publishers.
zachjb42 (4:02:25 PM): So what else do we need to look up.
Anyone who has lived a life knows what an adveture it can be, face everyone has problems, granted some people more than others, but everyone at some point in their lives has come across troubled water. hell even rich people have problems, like which half a million dollar car they should buy next, but seriously i'm talking about real problems faced by people like you and i. Some people can fake throug it, falsifying their reality to make it through each day, ehich is basically like what i've done. i've tricked myself into thinkng that everything is alright at the current moment, when, only the opposite is true. I know that's not healthy, and it will make my reality only harder, but maybe that's the idea, whatever gets you through it all. some hide behind flimsy beliefs, like everything will sort itself out, others seek religion, whatever gets them through it. So while faking my present state, zach is going through yet another tumultuous turn in his life, and i have been reading on his blog, as you should be right now. So he IM's me today and we begin to talk about how much life sucks, when almost immediatly he mentions the idea, and i whole heartedly back him on this idea. now let me explain what is going on....zach and i have always had this idea to write a book, mainly on political structrings, organizations, philosophies, etc etc. Then last year zach started with his crazy ideas to travel around, becoming this sort of drifter, moving to canada and other things. So i ran with this idea, coupled it with an idea that was running in my head, and then the "idea" was born. What it is exactly is just this; we would travel across the country documenting our interactions with people from all over. we would find out basically what makes them them, their beliefs, ideas, values, morals, everything. and of course we would be writing in journals, videotapping, recording all that happened. it would be the sociological study of the century, maybe even never ending. we would be able to write a book, and of course i'd foresee a movie deal out of it. it's original as all hell, don't you think so. all i would want is some financial backing on this, maybe a publisher, producer, unniversity, anything really, we're non profit.
zachjb42 (3:25:09 PM): SUp!
zachjb42 (3:25:13 PM): How's it going friend?
Blue35Tuesday (3:25:20 PM): i'm good, how are you?
zachjb42 (3:25:32 PM): Doing pretty shitty.
zachjb42 (3:25:35 PM): Life just blows.
zachjb42 (3:25:36 PM): In a slump.
zachjb42 (3:25:44 PM): I feel a little bit better now that the house is clean.
zachjb42 (3:25:49 PM): I just spent 3 hours cleaning.
zachjb42 (3:25:50 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (3:26:08 PM): So what's up?
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:15 PM): wow
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:18 PM): noithing
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:20 PM): i'm sitting here
zachjb42 (3:26:22 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:26:28 PM): Now I am just sitting here...
zachjb42 (3:26:30 PM): I needed a smoke.
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:35 PM): hha
zachjb42 (3:26:42 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:26:46 PM): I got a craving.
Blue35Tuesday (3:26:46 PM): life sucks
zachjb42 (3:26:51 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:26:53 PM): That it does sir.
zachjb42 (3:26:58 PM): I might not be able to go back to school.
Blue35Tuesday (3:27:04 PM): i read about that
zachjb42 (3:27:05 PM): They totally fucked up my Financial Aid.
zachjb42 (3:27:12 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:27:22 PM): So now I am totally pissed and in the same situation that I was last year.
Blue35Tuesday (3:27:30 PM): they just teased you with it
zachjb42 (3:28:05 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:28:06 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:28:12 PM): We should really start writing our book.
zachjb42 (3:28:17 PM): Just our observations about things.
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:28 PM): ha, that'd be bad ass
zachjb42 (3:28:34 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:28:43 PM): We could publish it through one of those DIY publishing things.
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:46 PM): i'd love to be able to sit around and observe shit like that
zachjb42 (3:28:47 PM): It's realitivily cheap.
zachjb42 (3:28:54 PM): Plus we could sell it on Amazon.com
Blue35Tuesday (3:28:57 PM): if only we would have win the lotto
zachjb42 (3:28:58 PM): Yep.
zachjb42 (3:29:00 PM): And get paid.
zachjb42 (3:29:01 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:29:09 PM): I would love to travel the country and just chat with people...
Blue35Tuesday (3:29:20 PM): hell yes
zachjb42 (3:29:36 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:29:40 PM): That would be awesome.
zachjb42 (3:29:52 PM): I was looking into starting a non-profit organization.
zachjb42 (3:29:58 PM): Getting some grants and the like.
zachjb42 (3:30:04 PM): I would love to just research things.
zachjb42 (3:30:10 PM): Write papers or discuss my findings.
zachjb42 (3:30:15 PM): Just how felt about certain things and why.
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:10 PM): yeah, i wonder if we could pitch the idea to a company
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:18 PM): both a book company and movie
zachjb42 (3:31:22 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:31:27 PM): I wonder...
zachjb42 (3:31:31 PM): That would be pretty cool...
Blue35Tuesday (3:31:32 PM): they could make a movie out of it, and they would pay us a bit to do i
zachjb42 (3:31:48 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:31:51 PM): That would be awesome.
Blue35Tuesday (3:32:58 PM): i wonder...
Blue35Tuesday (3:33:06 PM): i would totally be up for it if we had the backing
Blue35Tuesday (3:33:18 PM): i mean, what do we have to loose, really
zachjb42 (3:38:03 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (3:38:04 PM): I know.
zachjb42 (3:38:06 PM): Nothing.
Blue35Tuesday (3:43:37 PM): so do you think it is possible to pitch this idea to someone?
zachjb42 (3:44:12 PM): It might...
zachjb42 (3:44:18 PM): We could investigate it.
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:25 PM): i think it is worth it
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:29 PM): the time has come
Blue35Tuesday (3:44:40 PM): this is our opportunity
zachjb42 (3:44:50 PM): Perhaps...
zachjb42 (3:44:54 PM): Let's investigate it.
Blue35Tuesday (3:45:05 PM): doors don't close without windows opening, otherwise the presure in the hosue would be too great
Blue35Tuesday (3:46:15 PM): you see what io'm saying is, our lvies suck, doors have closed repeatedly on us, and unless you don't take this chance, what may be our window, we will end
zachjb42 (3:47:02 PM): True.
zachjb42 (3:47:33 PM): Let's go for it...
Blue35Tuesday (3:47:47 PM): :-D
Blue35Tuesday (3:50:50 PM): hell, we may even get some unniversity and their sociology department to back us
Blue35Tuesday (3:55:35 PM): sorry, my computer restarted
zachjb42 (3:56:25 PM): That's OK.
zachjb42 (3:58:28 PM): http://www.pitching.com/pitching_secrets.php
zachjb42 (3:58:50 PM): Perhaps he could teach us how to pitch...
zachjb42 (3:58:58 PM): LOL
Blue35Tuesday (3:59:05 PM): :-$
zachjb42 (3:59:23 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (3:59:29 PM): But seriously, here is a good place: http://www.ifebp.org/bookstore/pbinfobk.asp
Blue35Tuesday (3:59:44 PM): that was the only face i could think of appropriate
zachjb42 (3:59:56 PM): LOL
zachjb42 (4:00:26 PM): We need to find a publisher that publishes books like ours.
zachjb42 (4:00:33 PM): What are some books about traveling America...
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:05 PM): hmm, i'd say it's more a sociological type book as well
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:14 PM): i'm not into books so i have no idea
zachjb42 (4:01:24 PM): Neither do I.
zachjb42 (4:01:29 PM): I like books, just don't read'em.
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:50 PM): i think i will take a trip up to barnes and nobles in a bit
Blue35Tuesday (4:01:55 PM): maybe we should call G as well
zachjb42 (4:01:59 PM): http://www.blackwellpublishers.co.uk/asp/sociolog.asp
zachjb42 (4:02:05 PM): Yeah.
zachjb42 (4:02:10 PM): What's his phone number?
zachjb42 (4:02:13 PM): Or you could call him.
zachjb42 (4:02:17 PM): I'll keep finding publishers.
zachjb42 (4:02:25 PM): So what else do we need to look up.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Something I Thought You Should Enjoy As Well
From: Song of Love and Hate-Diamonds in the Mine
The woman in blue, she's asking for revenge,
the man in white -- that's you -- says he has no friends.
The river is swollen up with rusty cans
and the trees are burning in your promised land.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in the mine.
Well, you tell me that your lover has a broken limb,
you say you're kind of restless now and it's on account of him.
Well, I saw the man in question, it was just the other night,
he was eating up a lady where the lions and Christians fight.
And there are no letters in the mailbox
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in the mine.
(You tell them now)
Ah, there is no comfort in the covens of the witch,
some very clever doctor went and sterilized the bitch,
and the only man of energy, yes the revolution's pride,
he trained a hundred women just to kill an unborn child.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
oh no, there are no, no grapes upon your vine,
and there are, there are no chocolates in your boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in your mine.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in your boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in your mine.
From: Song of Love and Hate-Diamonds in the Mine
The woman in blue, she's asking for revenge,
the man in white -- that's you -- says he has no friends.
The river is swollen up with rusty cans
and the trees are burning in your promised land.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in the mine.
Well, you tell me that your lover has a broken limb,
you say you're kind of restless now and it's on account of him.
Well, I saw the man in question, it was just the other night,
he was eating up a lady where the lions and Christians fight.
And there are no letters in the mailbox
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in the mine.
(You tell them now)
Ah, there is no comfort in the covens of the witch,
some very clever doctor went and sterilized the bitch,
and the only man of energy, yes the revolution's pride,
he trained a hundred women just to kill an unborn child.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
oh no, there are no, no grapes upon your vine,
and there are, there are no chocolates in your boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in your mine.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
and there are no grapes upon the vine,
and there are no chocolates in your boxes anymore,
and there are no diamonds in your mine.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Hmmmmm.......
Well I had something to blog about, been wanting to since last time, but now i forgot, so i'll just blog about whatever.
Apparently Elizabeth, Vince's love, and I, Vince's first love, are one in the same, at least personality and test wise, maybe that's why he loves us both, and it'd be true for the fact that we both fell for him, interesting. i guess since i wasn't around at Rose i wasn't able to fullfill his needs and thus found Elizabeth. pretty messed up concept....
So i've been working at Century 21 Destiny, it's fun i suppose. I mean the people are nice and when things happen it's good. I just hope to get some clients, then i'll really be having fun. But until that happens i guess i'll sit around and answer the phones, you'd be suprised what crazy calls i get. if only i had interent access or a computer at my desk, then that would be the life, i don't think i would ever leave. I'd be able to surf the web, update blogs, read the news, have a hell of a time, just afraid to do it on the company computers.....
Once agian Powerball has rolled over and the jackpot is 250 million. damn that's a lot of money, i'd like to win the lottery, but not that much. If i were to win, you'd be seeing a lot of hand outs. But until that happens, i'll be the one taking handouts....
Oh, my favorite asian Tony is thinknig about coming up to visit me. interesting, we knew each other for one semester at UofM, i mean we hung out a couple times, but after i left we didn't really speak for a year, then out of the blue he's all IM'ing me and whatnot. we've had several long phone calls, the longest being 2 hours, with some dead air of course, i was running around lowell. But i enderstand where he is coming from, i've felt the pain he is feeling now. I think that is why we have been able to come together like we have. but he's battlnig school, lost loves, life, lack of money and everything else I, and a few others have faced already. In a way i think he looks up to me, like he idolizes me, that's cool i suppose. but he's always posting things i said and stuff like that, like i'm some sort of inspiration oh well....
And I must add in here somewhere that brooke and i have been spending some tme together, it was rough a little bit ago, but now things are getting bettter, yay...
So as you can see, I've added a lot of links, though i can't quite do it like zach does, putting every little word as a different link, grrrrr.
well that's all for today, see you next time...that sounds so stupid for an ending...
Well I had something to blog about, been wanting to since last time, but now i forgot, so i'll just blog about whatever.
Apparently Elizabeth, Vince's love, and I, Vince's first love, are one in the same, at least personality and test wise, maybe that's why he loves us both, and it'd be true for the fact that we both fell for him, interesting. i guess since i wasn't around at Rose i wasn't able to fullfill his needs and thus found Elizabeth. pretty messed up concept....
So i've been working at Century 21 Destiny, it's fun i suppose. I mean the people are nice and when things happen it's good. I just hope to get some clients, then i'll really be having fun. But until that happens i guess i'll sit around and answer the phones, you'd be suprised what crazy calls i get. if only i had interent access or a computer at my desk, then that would be the life, i don't think i would ever leave. I'd be able to surf the web, update blogs, read the news, have a hell of a time, just afraid to do it on the company computers.....
Once agian Powerball has rolled over and the jackpot is 250 million. damn that's a lot of money, i'd like to win the lottery, but not that much. If i were to win, you'd be seeing a lot of hand outs. But until that happens, i'll be the one taking handouts....
Oh, my favorite asian Tony is thinknig about coming up to visit me. interesting, we knew each other for one semester at UofM, i mean we hung out a couple times, but after i left we didn't really speak for a year, then out of the blue he's all IM'ing me and whatnot. we've had several long phone calls, the longest being 2 hours, with some dead air of course, i was running around lowell. But i enderstand where he is coming from, i've felt the pain he is feeling now. I think that is why we have been able to come together like we have. but he's battlnig school, lost loves, life, lack of money and everything else I, and a few others have faced already. In a way i think he looks up to me, like he idolizes me, that's cool i suppose. but he's always posting things i said and stuff like that, like i'm some sort of inspiration oh well....
And I must add in here somewhere that brooke and i have been spending some tme together, it was rough a little bit ago, but now things are getting bettter, yay...
So as you can see, I've added a lot of links, though i can't quite do it like zach does, putting every little word as a different link, grrrrr.
well that's all for today, see you next time...that sounds so stupid for an ending...
Sunday, July 06, 2003
Fireworks, nah, just my.......
So the other night at Target, wendy, one of my night teamleads, sees me and tries to start a conversation with me, like normal people do, but this is a particular hard thing for people to do with me there, well least a normal conversation. So she asks me if i shot off any fireworks or anything like that for the fourth, i replied with, "just my dick....and you should've seen the finale". At first she's in slight shock, then comes back with, "you finally got you some sex?" I reply back with, "Oh no, i woke up and masturbated, talk about an explosion." She did her little "oh my" laugh, walked away and said , "you're strange" and chuckled. So now as i sit here i wonder if what i said was on the level, merely just a joke, or not. Tell me what you think, i mean to me it sounds like something i would say, but then agian, am i sane...questionable indeed.....
So the other night at Target, wendy, one of my night teamleads, sees me and tries to start a conversation with me, like normal people do, but this is a particular hard thing for people to do with me there, well least a normal conversation. So she asks me if i shot off any fireworks or anything like that for the fourth, i replied with, "just my dick....and you should've seen the finale". At first she's in slight shock, then comes back with, "you finally got you some sex?" I reply back with, "Oh no, i woke up and masturbated, talk about an explosion." She did her little "oh my" laugh, walked away and said , "you're strange" and chuckled. So now as i sit here i wonder if what i said was on the level, merely just a joke, or not. Tell me what you think, i mean to me it sounds like something i would say, but then agian, am i sane...questionable indeed.....
Friday, July 04, 2003
Something for Zach...
Check out this link,........., click "winning numbers", "frequency of numbers", then "powerball".....
now tell me it's not crazy that the number 42 has been drawn the most times, but sadly not as the powerball number, interesting, but you see my point..although my number 35 comes close to being dranw the most times for both pick 5 number and powerball number, rock on...
Check out this link,........., click "winning numbers", "frequency of numbers", then "powerball".....
now tell me it's not crazy that the number 42 has been drawn the most times, but sadly not as the powerball number, interesting, but you see my point..although my number 35 comes close to being dranw the most times for both pick 5 number and powerball number, rock on...
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
What the Hell is This???
Yeah so i got this from someone else's webjournal, it was easy, just type your name, and this is what i got...
and for my made up name i got...
ok, so they both somewhat fit, wrath of my peers, angry at everything, straight, devious, but the colors are off...
but i'm not sure what to make of this one, they got the number right...
Yeah so i got this from someone else's webjournal, it was easy, just type your name, and this is what i got...
| ||||||||||||||||||||
and for my made up name i got...
| ||||||||||||||||||||
ok, so they both somewhat fit, wrath of my peers, angry at everything, straight, devious, but the colors are off...
| ||||||||||||||||||||
but i'm not sure what to make of this one, they got the number right...
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
Monday, June 30, 2003
Cheese and Wine
Hey it's me and i've got some things to say....why can't i live and let stupid things die, why must i hold grudges? my forgiveness level is virtually nonexistant, or if i do forgive, it is in the back of my mind only to reappear every now and then and eat away at me. grrrrr. another thing is, why am i so critical of everything else. as i said over the weekend, i don't try to do it, but i always find fault in something. i can't let someting go, i have to make soem shitty remark about it/them/whatever. i guess as of late it's been bothering me, go figure...oh you want to hear someting funny....i got carded to go into an R rated movie, what the shit? never in my life have i ever been asked to see my id. when they asked for it, i started to give them my michigan one so i could get my student discount, but they were like no, id with age on it, i was like, excuse me, and then pulled it out for them. yeah, i thought it was a crock...oh and last night i got called 3 times by the same number, in the end it wasn't a prank, they just were given the wrong number and finally got the right one, so they later called and appologized to me, it was funny....ohh and the comments are back up, so all if you could go back and make your posts on all the previous ones, it should be every blog on this page, thanks...
Hey it's me and i've got some things to say....why can't i live and let stupid things die, why must i hold grudges? my forgiveness level is virtually nonexistant, or if i do forgive, it is in the back of my mind only to reappear every now and then and eat away at me. grrrrr. another thing is, why am i so critical of everything else. as i said over the weekend, i don't try to do it, but i always find fault in something. i can't let someting go, i have to make soem shitty remark about it/them/whatever. i guess as of late it's been bothering me, go figure...oh you want to hear someting funny....i got carded to go into an R rated movie, what the shit? never in my life have i ever been asked to see my id. when they asked for it, i started to give them my michigan one so i could get my student discount, but they were like no, id with age on it, i was like, excuse me, and then pulled it out for them. yeah, i thought it was a crock...oh and last night i got called 3 times by the same number, in the end it wasn't a prank, they just were given the wrong number and finally got the right one, so they later called and appologized to me, it was funny....ohh and the comments are back up, so all if you could go back and make your posts on all the previous ones, it should be every blog on this page, thanks...
Friday, June 27, 2003
Mother Fuck
Dammit, just as i make an exciting new post, give great analogies, pose wonderful questions, and publicize it like no tomorrow, the F'ing comment system goes down. Bullmotherfuckingshit is what i say. Damn, damn , damn, it always happens. thanks klink family for fucking up my week, yeah bad enough i have to put up with blogger being down for a day,then you do your maintenance afterwards, convienant, grrrrrrr.......
Dammit, just as i make an exciting new post, give great analogies, pose wonderful questions, and publicize it like no tomorrow, the F'ing comment system goes down. Bullmotherfuckingshit is what i say. Damn, damn , damn, it always happens. thanks klink family for fucking up my week, yeah bad enough i have to put up with blogger being down for a day,then you do your maintenance afterwards, convienant, grrrrrrr.......
Thursday, June 26, 2003
UPDATE
I'm on a roll...
Well blogger fucked up on me during the first post of this, the one time i didn't copy everything before i hit the post button, why does this always happen? anways, like it says, i was on a great streak, i tripped and i was rolling..and nobody could stop me...except blogger, grrrr. So let me tell you about the most recent insights, revolations if you will...
Ok, so i've been working hard today, making posts and such, i even updated my Xanga. Hell i made a new post, triumvirate will be the word to use today, somewhat lengther than normal, but i think we all will enjoy it. but i also updated the picture, hell yes new picture to look at. and in lieu of the new pic, i also updated the subtitle, told you i was on a roll. I mean i want you to go and check it out for yourself, it's a thing of beauty, well to me at least. But i want all the comments from the posed question to go on here, under this posting because, well, i brought it up on here. (i know that sounds wierd, making comments on one blog about another, when they are both run by the same person, ay yi yi) but yeah, "what do you do when the light turns yellow?" it's worded a little diferently on my xanga, but still, what is your response. and it's more than just "how you drive" sort of thing, it's the way you live your life. think about it, that page with the picture and question are of philospoical brilliance. really i'm not crazy. take a minute and reflect on this question, then respond appropriatly on here. i know it is deep, please someone agree with me....
Check it, so in my updated post to the Blue35Tuesday Xanga, i also came up with a new analogy. i may not be as great as the first one, but nonetheless it's golden. basically it goes a little something like this...setup: you know how in horror movies, they actually mention it in Scream, or in video games the evil villian, bad guy, nemesis never die once, old cliche #42. the main characters rejoice after the first "killing" because they think they are free, then out of the blue when they least expect it, they have to fight it agian. well, basically that's what i'm saying love is like, rather love gone wrong, breaking up, giving your heart only for it to be crushed. You and your loved one call it quits, for whatever reason, and you go on fighting how badly you feel, you don't want it to end, or you're trying to figure out why, you're having trouble moving on. then after awhile you come to grips with it and go about your business, only to be struck down by it agian, out of nowhere the depression sinks back in and you're at square one. I know a few of you can relate to this, i've been seeing it happen and able to take notice of it as of late. for some reason i have been able to step out of the frame and look around at things, it's really interesting to see things once you've done that. If you don't understand, maybe the short story on my Xanga will help you out, but in all, i think it's an alright analogy, moving on...
And last but not least, the update we've all been waiting for, the update to the first analogy posted earlier today about life and it's many pieces. ok so you got those little pieces and you're trying to get them together and one falls, what do you do? and everyone knows what they do, they try to rebuild, and once they get everything back into place, they put more attention to that piece that fell...but what happens, another piece falls. they put more attention to the first piece that fell, only to have another piece to fall. then once they rebuild, they put attention on the piece that fell more recent, with less, but still some attention to the first fallen piece, and agian another falls. this process happens over and over, why? hell, it could be that it's not meant to be together, or because the right amount of attention has to be proportioned to the whole, it needs to be balanced adequately, just like life. you can't put that thing together unless every piece has attention, and yes sometimes you need extra help with it, either friend, table, whatever, but it all has to be ballanced out. You can't live your life dropping everything to tend to one matter, leaving behind and forgetting about all those other pieces, less you want to take the extra time to rebuild those back up. I could give examples, but i think we all understand, ok maybe one, "college: need the correct amount of time to study and to party, otherwise you'll fail out", but you see my point. life is all about balance. think about it, balance, that has to be the strongest word, balance. crazy people are said to be unbalanced, your inner ear keeps your equilibrium in balance, it's what the world revolves around. maybe this is stronger to me because i can speak personally about this, and yes, i let some things make me way unbalanced, but to truly put everything into a perfect harmony and balance, is to understand beyond normal thinking, of how you can and can't exist at the same time, how there can be a truth, yet there can't at the same time, to think and understand this is a key principle of buddhism....
the last sentence was achieved after speaking with my favortie asian and his shock to what i had just said to him, so i give him the credit about the buddhist stuff at the end, though i did ask for his help on the subject because i thought it sounded buddhist. the end
P.S. So far I'm liking this new blogger, it's easy ot use, and, so far so good, we'll see how well it stays up though
I'm on a roll...
Well blogger fucked up on me during the first post of this, the one time i didn't copy everything before i hit the post button, why does this always happen? anways, like it says, i was on a great streak, i tripped and i was rolling..and nobody could stop me...except blogger, grrrr. So let me tell you about the most recent insights, revolations if you will...
Ok, so i've been working hard today, making posts and such, i even updated my Xanga. Hell i made a new post, triumvirate will be the word to use today, somewhat lengther than normal, but i think we all will enjoy it. but i also updated the picture, hell yes new picture to look at. and in lieu of the new pic, i also updated the subtitle, told you i was on a roll. I mean i want you to go and check it out for yourself, it's a thing of beauty, well to me at least. But i want all the comments from the posed question to go on here, under this posting because, well, i brought it up on here. (i know that sounds wierd, making comments on one blog about another, when they are both run by the same person, ay yi yi) but yeah, "what do you do when the light turns yellow?" it's worded a little diferently on my xanga, but still, what is your response. and it's more than just "how you drive" sort of thing, it's the way you live your life. think about it, that page with the picture and question are of philospoical brilliance. really i'm not crazy. take a minute and reflect on this question, then respond appropriatly on here. i know it is deep, please someone agree with me....
Check it, so in my updated post to the Blue35Tuesday Xanga, i also came up with a new analogy. i may not be as great as the first one, but nonetheless it's golden. basically it goes a little something like this...setup: you know how in horror movies, they actually mention it in Scream, or in video games the evil villian, bad guy, nemesis never die once, old cliche #42. the main characters rejoice after the first "killing" because they think they are free, then out of the blue when they least expect it, they have to fight it agian. well, basically that's what i'm saying love is like, rather love gone wrong, breaking up, giving your heart only for it to be crushed. You and your loved one call it quits, for whatever reason, and you go on fighting how badly you feel, you don't want it to end, or you're trying to figure out why, you're having trouble moving on. then after awhile you come to grips with it and go about your business, only to be struck down by it agian, out of nowhere the depression sinks back in and you're at square one. I know a few of you can relate to this, i've been seeing it happen and able to take notice of it as of late. for some reason i have been able to step out of the frame and look around at things, it's really interesting to see things once you've done that. If you don't understand, maybe the short story on my Xanga will help you out, but in all, i think it's an alright analogy, moving on...
And last but not least, the update we've all been waiting for, the update to the first analogy posted earlier today about life and it's many pieces. ok so you got those little pieces and you're trying to get them together and one falls, what do you do? and everyone knows what they do, they try to rebuild, and once they get everything back into place, they put more attention to that piece that fell...but what happens, another piece falls. they put more attention to the first piece that fell, only to have another piece to fall. then once they rebuild, they put attention on the piece that fell more recent, with less, but still some attention to the first fallen piece, and agian another falls. this process happens over and over, why? hell, it could be that it's not meant to be together, or because the right amount of attention has to be proportioned to the whole, it needs to be balanced adequately, just like life. you can't put that thing together unless every piece has attention, and yes sometimes you need extra help with it, either friend, table, whatever, but it all has to be ballanced out. You can't live your life dropping everything to tend to one matter, leaving behind and forgetting about all those other pieces, less you want to take the extra time to rebuild those back up. I could give examples, but i think we all understand, ok maybe one, "college: need the correct amount of time to study and to party, otherwise you'll fail out", but you see my point. life is all about balance. think about it, balance, that has to be the strongest word, balance. crazy people are said to be unbalanced, your inner ear keeps your equilibrium in balance, it's what the world revolves around. maybe this is stronger to me because i can speak personally about this, and yes, i let some things make me way unbalanced, but to truly put everything into a perfect harmony and balance, is to understand beyond normal thinking, of how you can and can't exist at the same time, how there can be a truth, yet there can't at the same time, to think and understand this is a key principle of buddhism....
the last sentence was achieved after speaking with my favortie asian and his shock to what i had just said to him, so i give him the credit about the buddhist stuff at the end, though i did ask for his help on the subject because i thought it sounded buddhist. the end
P.S. So far I'm liking this new blogger, it's easy ot use, and, so far so good, we'll see how well it stays up though
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Great Analogy...
So i was talking with my favorite asian, tony, this morning. (oh funny side story, at kendall's open house, eating the fuit salad, i made some remarks about it and it's contents. well there were mandarin oranges in it, and i remembered that Tony is Mandarin. ok i thought it was hysterical). So we were talking about life, love lives, and everything else, and in retrospect of all this i came up with this great, brilliant?, analogy. now remember i had just woken up and instantly he's messaging me, i think he just woke up too, so this is pretty good for that circumstance. I made the comment how nothing in my life can be right all at once, bascially i was trying to state that as you solve or remidy one thing, something else goes amiss. then i made up this analogy on the spot to describe what i meant, and it's something i think we all can relate to as well. My life and what's been gonig on recently with it can best be related to when you're putting something together (like a model or anything that has come undone for that matter). You've got your fingers holding all the little pieces together (basically i am saying your life's problems are in your control, only you have reign over them, hence they are in your hand), and now all you have to do is screw it together, make it one (you want everyting to always be right, one entity, nothing wrong, all one piece), but, as we all know, there's always that peice that slips away, falls off, and so forth (i think this is selfexplanitory, solve one thing, there goes another).
now when i spoke to heather about this shortly after tony, she had some insight for this analogy
heatherlouise27: that's good...but it's not always just one piece, right now it seems like the whole thing just fell apart and now i have to start all over by putting them all together again...who the hell knows if things will ever be screwed together
heatherlouise27: matter of fact, i know they won't be, cuz that's not life
Blue35Tuesday: i don't think they ever will be, and that is how life is,
Blue35Tuesday: but you have to have help when putting it together, friends, family, something, to help you get things in order
heatherlouise27: ok, this may sound messed up but how do you know how they are to be put together in the first place? what shape should they take?
Blue35Tuesday: because of the ideals in your head
Blue35Tuesday: you think that's how they should be
heatherlouise27: should be? or want them to be?
Blue35Tuesday: yeah
Blue35Tuesday: both
Blue35Tuesday: we want them to be like that, and therefore think they should be like that, for our betterness
wow, fucked up conversations early in the morning. maybe i should wake up every morning with some sort of philospoical question and attempt to answer it, or not. if you have any insighteither make a comment, or do like the others and chat to me online, i think we all know my aim name. have a great day....
So i was talking with my favorite asian, tony, this morning. (oh funny side story, at kendall's open house, eating the fuit salad, i made some remarks about it and it's contents. well there were mandarin oranges in it, and i remembered that Tony is Mandarin. ok i thought it was hysterical). So we were talking about life, love lives, and everything else, and in retrospect of all this i came up with this great, brilliant?, analogy. now remember i had just woken up and instantly he's messaging me, i think he just woke up too, so this is pretty good for that circumstance. I made the comment how nothing in my life can be right all at once, bascially i was trying to state that as you solve or remidy one thing, something else goes amiss. then i made up this analogy on the spot to describe what i meant, and it's something i think we all can relate to as well. My life and what's been gonig on recently with it can best be related to when you're putting something together (like a model or anything that has come undone for that matter). You've got your fingers holding all the little pieces together (basically i am saying your life's problems are in your control, only you have reign over them, hence they are in your hand), and now all you have to do is screw it together, make it one (you want everyting to always be right, one entity, nothing wrong, all one piece), but, as we all know, there's always that peice that slips away, falls off, and so forth (i think this is selfexplanitory, solve one thing, there goes another).
now when i spoke to heather about this shortly after tony, she had some insight for this analogy
heatherlouise27: that's good...but it's not always just one piece, right now it seems like the whole thing just fell apart and now i have to start all over by putting them all together again...who the hell knows if things will ever be screwed together
heatherlouise27: matter of fact, i know they won't be, cuz that's not life
Blue35Tuesday: i don't think they ever will be, and that is how life is,
Blue35Tuesday: but you have to have help when putting it together, friends, family, something, to help you get things in order
heatherlouise27: ok, this may sound messed up but how do you know how they are to be put together in the first place? what shape should they take?
Blue35Tuesday: because of the ideals in your head
Blue35Tuesday: you think that's how they should be
heatherlouise27: should be? or want them to be?
Blue35Tuesday: yeah
Blue35Tuesday: both
Blue35Tuesday: we want them to be like that, and therefore think they should be like that, for our betterness
wow, fucked up conversations early in the morning. maybe i should wake up every morning with some sort of philospoical question and attempt to answer it, or not. if you have any insighteither make a comment, or do like the others and chat to me online, i think we all know my aim name. have a great day....
Monday, June 23, 2003
Don't Say You Didn't
Yeah, well tonight was one fucked up night, yeah i'm swearing, i'm fucking aggitated. well there's so much that happened, but basically i didn't end up gonig to RtC like i said i was going to, and apparently planned. yeah, but right now, i know they are there, and i know they are just talking shit right now. started by one individual, which got another going, and then they all chimmed in. hell they even got andy in it as well. it just fucking pisses me off, they have no idea what the situation is, yet they are quick to judge and put in their shitty little comments. grrr, fuck it. i'm so...i don't even know, like i said tongiht was a night from hell. all i know is i'm fuckng hungry and this is one pissy blog, there hasn't been one of those in awhile. well i guess those fuckers can make it up to me tomorrow (tuesday) if they so wish, or i can get them back, i do nothing all day tomorrow...century 21 cancelled their floor meeting, and i got myself off from alco, only to be ditched kinda, and i don't work at target, one hell of a fuckng day tomorrow, let's see what happens...this is your only redemption bastards...
Yeah, well tonight was one fucked up night, yeah i'm swearing, i'm fucking aggitated. well there's so much that happened, but basically i didn't end up gonig to RtC like i said i was going to, and apparently planned. yeah, but right now, i know they are there, and i know they are just talking shit right now. started by one individual, which got another going, and then they all chimmed in. hell they even got andy in it as well. it just fucking pisses me off, they have no idea what the situation is, yet they are quick to judge and put in their shitty little comments. grrr, fuck it. i'm so...i don't even know, like i said tongiht was a night from hell. all i know is i'm fuckng hungry and this is one pissy blog, there hasn't been one of those in awhile. well i guess those fuckers can make it up to me tomorrow (tuesday) if they so wish, or i can get them back, i do nothing all day tomorrow...century 21 cancelled their floor meeting, and i got myself off from alco, only to be ditched kinda, and i don't work at target, one hell of a fuckng day tomorrow, let's see what happens...this is your only redemption bastards...
Sunday, June 22, 2003
The Name's Dumass...
Ok, after a quick look over the "Let's See..." posting i noticed that as i was telling my quasi sleep-deprived story about being somewhat insomniac, i went on totally diffferent tangents and never really got on track agian.so yeah, i'm a dumbas, what can i say. see that's the reason why i don't make many casual postings, if i do, it's an event, also another reason why i don't read, i have ADHD, or something like it. I guess that's all for now, just ranting about myself being retarded, until next time, this is jason angus signing off.....
Ok, after a quick look over the "Let's See..." posting i noticed that as i was telling my quasi sleep-deprived story about being somewhat insomniac, i went on totally diffferent tangents and never really got on track agian.so yeah, i'm a dumbas, what can i say. see that's the reason why i don't make many casual postings, if i do, it's an event, also another reason why i don't read, i have ADHD, or something like it. I guess that's all for now, just ranting about myself being retarded, until next time, this is jason angus signing off.....
Damn....
Ha, she was right, i would fall to my little blog....well instead of talking about that, just yet, i'll talk about other random crap.....Oh so i think it is unbelievable the fact that my insomnia state might be coming back, but it's not really insomnia, it's a little different, let me explain...thursday=got some sleep til about 10, was up for a bit and tried to lay back down, due to unsettling things and phone calls and this and that i didn't clunk out til after 630, then got up at 915 and headed to the land of high to work at target for the evening, but also making a quick stop into RtC to see Andy and Vince. After work i had to take a fellow employee home in merillville, damn people, and then it was onto shopping at meijer. they were having thier saturdaze sales, i got 4 jack's pizza for 6.36! realizing it was well after 9 i quickly flew home where i tried shoving all the frozen stuff i bought into the little top freezer part, showered then it was onto nancy's. from 10 to 12ish she was giving some new agent orientation thing. she's...i don't want to say out of fear of the wrong people seeing it, but you all know what i think. Came home a little bit later and got things together here, got directions and a time for the comstock open house, so as i said in my previous blog, i wasn't able to eat. came to the conclusion that the open house didn't start til 3 so i had time to kill, not enough to sleep, but i wasn't tired anyways. so i headed up to office something or another and got some legal paper and other things i needed, then headed back to lowell. luckily there were signs and thus was able to find the place. i did eat, but it wasn't plate filling and i didn't go back for seconds. played a quick game of volleyball or so and then we all sat down. there were a lot of people i didn't know, no big whoop, i'm antisocial so it's ok, but more people came as the time passed. then entered Corinne (i think that is how you spell it, pronounced Core-inn) with the light coming from behind her i thought she took a stunning resemblance of my lovely brooke. Ironically enough she sat across from me and soon there after started to make conversation with me. even her personality reminded me of her, i quickly pointed this out to her and asked if she knew brooke, but she didn't. we talked, her about stupid things, me about my lovely brooke, it was good. i thought a funny thing that happened was we were taling then, for some reason i had to say my name, so i said jason angus, the first time everyone heard my name in full, but i was just saying it to one person, everyone over heard and it was funny how one by one everyone made a comment, first it was corinne, saying how she knew me, and other chimed in after wards, funny, but the clincher is someone whom i never seen before tunred to me and was like, "oh yeah, i remember you, i touched your hair" and left it at tat like i sould remember or something. what in the hell? ah well back to my main story..left there around 7, then laid down. got up at 930 and headed to target. crazy time, up for 22 hours on little sleep, then only getting 2 hours of sleep, and heading back out to target. got done with that and got home by 715, got woken up by a phone call at 1111 and then stirred from there on out til i got out of bed around 1230 and here i am. agian i am hungry as hell, but am holding out for that free open hosue food, kendalls' open house is today, but i am waiting for someone like vince to return my call so we can go over together, i hate going to these things alone.so it's about 3 and i think i'll wrap up this post. i've already ruined my day, but i won't talk about that, instead, i'll listen to music, later get free food, pass out agian, and then go to work, hopefully all my worries will wash away, or something of the sort. till then. hopefully i'll blog later, maybe tomorrow, yeah, i l*******, goodbye.....
Ha, she was right, i would fall to my little blog....well instead of talking about that, just yet, i'll talk about other random crap.....Oh so i think it is unbelievable the fact that my insomnia state might be coming back, but it's not really insomnia, it's a little different, let me explain...thursday=got some sleep til about 10, was up for a bit and tried to lay back down, due to unsettling things and phone calls and this and that i didn't clunk out til after 630, then got up at 915 and headed to the land of high to work at target for the evening, but also making a quick stop into RtC to see Andy and Vince. After work i had to take a fellow employee home in merillville, damn people, and then it was onto shopping at meijer. they were having thier saturdaze sales, i got 4 jack's pizza for 6.36! realizing it was well after 9 i quickly flew home where i tried shoving all the frozen stuff i bought into the little top freezer part, showered then it was onto nancy's. from 10 to 12ish she was giving some new agent orientation thing. she's...i don't want to say out of fear of the wrong people seeing it, but you all know what i think. Came home a little bit later and got things together here, got directions and a time for the comstock open house, so as i said in my previous blog, i wasn't able to eat. came to the conclusion that the open house didn't start til 3 so i had time to kill, not enough to sleep, but i wasn't tired anyways. so i headed up to office something or another and got some legal paper and other things i needed, then headed back to lowell. luckily there were signs and thus was able to find the place. i did eat, but it wasn't plate filling and i didn't go back for seconds. played a quick game of volleyball or so and then we all sat down. there were a lot of people i didn't know, no big whoop, i'm antisocial so it's ok, but more people came as the time passed. then entered Corinne (i think that is how you spell it, pronounced Core-inn) with the light coming from behind her i thought she took a stunning resemblance of my lovely brooke. Ironically enough she sat across from me and soon there after started to make conversation with me. even her personality reminded me of her, i quickly pointed this out to her and asked if she knew brooke, but she didn't. we talked, her about stupid things, me about my lovely brooke, it was good. i thought a funny thing that happened was we were taling then, for some reason i had to say my name, so i said jason angus, the first time everyone heard my name in full, but i was just saying it to one person, everyone over heard and it was funny how one by one everyone made a comment, first it was corinne, saying how she knew me, and other chimed in after wards, funny, but the clincher is someone whom i never seen before tunred to me and was like, "oh yeah, i remember you, i touched your hair" and left it at tat like i sould remember or something. what in the hell? ah well back to my main story..left there around 7, then laid down. got up at 930 and headed to target. crazy time, up for 22 hours on little sleep, then only getting 2 hours of sleep, and heading back out to target. got done with that and got home by 715, got woken up by a phone call at 1111 and then stirred from there on out til i got out of bed around 1230 and here i am. agian i am hungry as hell, but am holding out for that free open hosue food, kendalls' open house is today, but i am waiting for someone like vince to return my call so we can go over together, i hate going to these things alone.so it's about 3 and i think i'll wrap up this post. i've already ruined my day, but i won't talk about that, instead, i'll listen to music, later get free food, pass out agian, and then go to work, hopefully all my worries will wash away, or something of the sort. till then. hopefully i'll blog later, maybe tomorrow, yeah, i l*******, goodbye.....
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Let's See....
Well, this is a response, in blog form to a comment on my last post made by Zach. Ok, so for the first question, i'm not sure how long it will be, i'll make a general statement and say my house will probably be on the market for about 60 days. I am not off the ALCO payroll, yet, i still go in and work, and i think next week george has me down for a lot of shifts, i'll see what i can do. I haven't gotten any money from working with nancy yet, though she has, "given" me money for bringing the buyer george to them, she said that would be to cover some start up fees such as name badge, business cards and such. Target is target, i'm happy with them, but there's a new team relations person who is really stinging everyone on attendance issues, and i'm at the end of that stick as well, on probation and such and calling off for my ear infection. hopefully they don't fire me, i've seen 2 walk-offs since i've been there, and one person somewhat justifully fired, but still there's always the others that should be fired but somehow are still there. i see good things to come with this munster store opening. Sadly i haven't learned any songs on the guitar yet, i am stil trying to learn how to progress my chords, i really suck at that, but i got the intro to stairway down pretty well. in fact zach, i'm using methodists suck to help me learn progression, thanks. and last, but never least, brooke and i are, well brooke and i, we all know how that is. i love her very much, but at times it seems i just can't do enough to please her. i don't know what i can do, i make her mad, and she doesn't know why, but when we're good, we're great, i just wish we had more times like that.well that's all for now, hopefully that fills you up, now time for sleep....
Oh, side note, funny little story i thoguht i should add in, i've been hungry ever since i went shopping, and we all know that going shopping while being hungry is a bozo no no. that was at 8 or so, then i had to make it home to shower and change to go to the real estate training thing. so now it is 2 and i still have not eaten, but this whole time i've been telling myself everytime i say that i am hungry, i say no, you are going to an open house,, there will be food there. i told me mom not to let me eat, and as i sat here and blogged i made a post it note not to eat, free food awaits. so yeah i thought that was funny, i'm sure you all can picture that, well yeah, i'm off for my free food before i die, good day.
Well, this is a response, in blog form to a comment on my last post made by Zach. Ok, so for the first question, i'm not sure how long it will be, i'll make a general statement and say my house will probably be on the market for about 60 days. I am not off the ALCO payroll, yet, i still go in and work, and i think next week george has me down for a lot of shifts, i'll see what i can do. I haven't gotten any money from working with nancy yet, though she has, "given" me money for bringing the buyer george to them, she said that would be to cover some start up fees such as name badge, business cards and such. Target is target, i'm happy with them, but there's a new team relations person who is really stinging everyone on attendance issues, and i'm at the end of that stick as well, on probation and such and calling off for my ear infection. hopefully they don't fire me, i've seen 2 walk-offs since i've been there, and one person somewhat justifully fired, but still there's always the others that should be fired but somehow are still there. i see good things to come with this munster store opening. Sadly i haven't learned any songs on the guitar yet, i am stil trying to learn how to progress my chords, i really suck at that, but i got the intro to stairway down pretty well. in fact zach, i'm using methodists suck to help me learn progression, thanks. and last, but never least, brooke and i are, well brooke and i, we all know how that is. i love her very much, but at times it seems i just can't do enough to please her. i don't know what i can do, i make her mad, and she doesn't know why, but when we're good, we're great, i just wish we had more times like that.well that's all for now, hopefully that fills you up, now time for sleep....
Oh, side note, funny little story i thoguht i should add in, i've been hungry ever since i went shopping, and we all know that going shopping while being hungry is a bozo no no. that was at 8 or so, then i had to make it home to shower and change to go to the real estate training thing. so now it is 2 and i still have not eaten, but this whole time i've been telling myself everytime i say that i am hungry, i say no, you are going to an open house,, there will be food there. i told me mom not to let me eat, and as i sat here and blogged i made a post it note not to eat, free food awaits. so yeah i thought that was funny, i'm sure you all can picture that, well yeah, i'm off for my free food before i die, good day.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Hey, What Up Yo....
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know it's been awhile for me to update, or even go on a streak of steady bloggings, even my Xanga is behind. So what is going on with me, well somehow I am still living in my house, yes I am selling it, but I'm still here, i keep telling myself that it won't be for much longer so when it does happened, I will be prepared. I got started with my real estate thing, I work for Nancy at Century 21 Destiny Realty in Lowell, yay. Yeah, a homeless realtor, go figure. well my internet connection is being a bitch, can't load up thses pages worth crap. I'm not sure as to why I am donig this, I mean I have nothing to really say. I've taken some time off from ALCO, partly because i hate it and trying to get my feet wet in this realty thing, and since i've asked for some time off george has been a **insert bad word here** agian. apparently because i don't work at alco, he assumes i don't work at all, as shown here in this conversation:
gtvon (12:26:39 PM): i'll go eat something now
gtvon (12:26:45 PM): and then to work
gtvon (12:26:49 PM): you know what that is?
gtvon (12:26:54 PM): >:o
he's always said i can take 28 days off, and bla bla bla, yeah, i've said before i want to quit alco, it's pathetic. and since i've taken some days off i've loved it, i've been catching up on my sleep and everything, Ohh how i wish i could do this more often, i knw i've said this before, but i don't want to qork so much especially when brooke is in town, i want to be able to spend time with her. oh what a crazy world we live in. oh, and thanks to vince for letting me borrow your guitar, even though i'm still trying to make time to play it, sad face, well that's it, i'm gonig to sleep now...
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know it's been awhile for me to update, or even go on a streak of steady bloggings, even my Xanga is behind. So what is going on with me, well somehow I am still living in my house, yes I am selling it, but I'm still here, i keep telling myself that it won't be for much longer so when it does happened, I will be prepared. I got started with my real estate thing, I work for Nancy at Century 21 Destiny Realty in Lowell, yay. Yeah, a homeless realtor, go figure. well my internet connection is being a bitch, can't load up thses pages worth crap. I'm not sure as to why I am donig this, I mean I have nothing to really say. I've taken some time off from ALCO, partly because i hate it and trying to get my feet wet in this realty thing, and since i've asked for some time off george has been a **insert bad word here** agian. apparently because i don't work at alco, he assumes i don't work at all, as shown here in this conversation:
gtvon (12:26:39 PM): i'll go eat something now
gtvon (12:26:45 PM): and then to work
gtvon (12:26:49 PM): you know what that is?
gtvon (12:26:54 PM): >:o
he's always said i can take 28 days off, and bla bla bla, yeah, i've said before i want to quit alco, it's pathetic. and since i've taken some days off i've loved it, i've been catching up on my sleep and everything, Ohh how i wish i could do this more often, i knw i've said this before, but i don't want to qork so much especially when brooke is in town, i want to be able to spend time with her. oh what a crazy world we live in. oh, and thanks to vince for letting me borrow your guitar, even though i'm still trying to make time to play it, sad face, well that's it, i'm gonig to sleep now...
Saturday, June 14, 2003
Here's a Little Something I Thought Was Funny...
Ok, so Tuesday morning comes, just get off work at Target and headed over to Retail Rodeo, i mean ALCO because i was unable to place my order on monday. I'm there, so my thing and Geroge is being pissy once agian, part reason why i left early on Monday, so i told him in lieu of this I wouldn't be coming infor my tuesday night schedule, i don't want to be around in a place that treats me like that, the world does enough for me. He then starts bitching about how tight the schedule is, funny thing, he was just complaining on monday how we could afford to loose at least one person per shift each day, i laughed. then without even questioning why i needed the day off, he yells to me about how he doesn't think it is fair to take a day off to move my shit, yet let's think back to one week ago, he took off an entire weekend and a week's worth of vacation to "move" into his house. the reason why i put move in quotes is because he was given 9 days to get everything over into his house and unpacked, well everything's over yes, but it's all in the garage, and what's worse is that all his stuff had to be moved out of the apartment that first wekend, so what he did with the other 7 days is beyound anyone. once agian i chuckle. I don't know, it just angers me when people are hypocrites.well that's about all for now, i'm sure i'll ramble some more later
Ok, so Tuesday morning comes, just get off work at Target and headed over to Retail Rodeo, i mean ALCO because i was unable to place my order on monday. I'm there, so my thing and Geroge is being pissy once agian, part reason why i left early on Monday, so i told him in lieu of this I wouldn't be coming infor my tuesday night schedule, i don't want to be around in a place that treats me like that, the world does enough for me. He then starts bitching about how tight the schedule is, funny thing, he was just complaining on monday how we could afford to loose at least one person per shift each day, i laughed. then without even questioning why i needed the day off, he yells to me about how he doesn't think it is fair to take a day off to move my shit, yet let's think back to one week ago, he took off an entire weekend and a week's worth of vacation to "move" into his house. the reason why i put move in quotes is because he was given 9 days to get everything over into his house and unpacked, well everything's over yes, but it's all in the garage, and what's worse is that all his stuff had to be moved out of the apartment that first wekend, so what he did with the other 7 days is beyound anyone. once agian i chuckle. I don't know, it just angers me when people are hypocrites.well that's about all for now, i'm sure i'll ramble some more later
Thursday, June 12, 2003
Quick Little Things...
So i had many things to blog about, so much stuff has been going on the past week, but i haven't had any time to blog about them, and because it goes so far back and the newer stuff relies on the older stuff, and i can't remember all the details, it will go without being said, instead here are just some random statemtns that are/went through my mind in no order whatsoever.....
Brooke is back, yay. i know now why i can't eeat candy, i've been really tired lately, i saw this coming, my radar made a new noise the other day, one i haven't heard in my 3 years owning it.deep, the target in highland is hiring, yes that's right all you people who need jobs, i learned the A chord, i suck, i am partly to blame, the Matrix 2 is crap, the dogs are gone, i'm running out of time, i drove without my glasses, i need to get adequate sleep, but i'm not liking the dreams i've been having, does everybody know, why why why, doing laundry is expensive, sometimes the pain is too much, but then agian i'm still here, so it hasn't reached "enough" yet, 3 hours shifts? that's funny, i don't know what else, i forgot everything i was going to say as i sat down screw it i'm donw, there's a post for you...
So i had many things to blog about, so much stuff has been going on the past week, but i haven't had any time to blog about them, and because it goes so far back and the newer stuff relies on the older stuff, and i can't remember all the details, it will go without being said, instead here are just some random statemtns that are/went through my mind in no order whatsoever.....
Brooke is back, yay. i know now why i can't eeat candy, i've been really tired lately, i saw this coming, my radar made a new noise the other day, one i haven't heard in my 3 years owning it.deep, the target in highland is hiring, yes that's right all you people who need jobs, i learned the A chord, i suck, i am partly to blame, the Matrix 2 is crap, the dogs are gone, i'm running out of time, i drove without my glasses, i need to get adequate sleep, but i'm not liking the dreams i've been having, does everybody know, why why why, doing laundry is expensive, sometimes the pain is too much, but then agian i'm still here, so it hasn't reached "enough" yet, 3 hours shifts? that's funny, i don't know what else, i forgot everything i was going to say as i sat down screw it i'm donw, there's a post for you...
Thursday, June 05, 2003
MWHAHAHAHAHA
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Very High |
| Schizoid: | Moderate |
| Schizotypal: | Very High |
| Antisocial: | High |
| Borderline: | Very High |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | High |
| Dependent: | Very High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
I Feel Like Shit
Ohh, I am in a terrible condition. I don't even know where to begin. Let's go with waking up...whenever it is that i do wake up, i am in much much pain. My entire head throbs in pain. opening up my eyes to see what time it is hurts, followed with sharp shooting pains in my temples. my jaw hurts, and i can feel this pain extending to my ears. I toss and turn, rolling over to get comfortable, but nothing is achieved. This happens everytime i wake up. if i am asleep and something wakes me up, i cannot fall back asleep. I may have been asleep for 15 minutes and still have 6 hours to go, i can't fall back alseep. i try everything to get back to sleep, and when i finally do, it's only moments before i have to get up, and getting up is impossible. this goes round and round. it makes me want to cry at times, i'm not sure what is causing this, but i want it to stop, i cannot function properly with iths going on, i drag through thr day, wishing i could go to sleep, and when i do get to lay down, i can't. it's like a terrible hangover that won't go away. ahhh, that is all, goodinght.
Ohh, I am in a terrible condition. I don't even know where to begin. Let's go with waking up...whenever it is that i do wake up, i am in much much pain. My entire head throbs in pain. opening up my eyes to see what time it is hurts, followed with sharp shooting pains in my temples. my jaw hurts, and i can feel this pain extending to my ears. I toss and turn, rolling over to get comfortable, but nothing is achieved. This happens everytime i wake up. if i am asleep and something wakes me up, i cannot fall back asleep. I may have been asleep for 15 minutes and still have 6 hours to go, i can't fall back alseep. i try everything to get back to sleep, and when i finally do, it's only moments before i have to get up, and getting up is impossible. this goes round and round. it makes me want to cry at times, i'm not sure what is causing this, but i want it to stop, i cannot function properly with iths going on, i drag through thr day, wishing i could go to sleep, and when i do get to lay down, i can't. it's like a terrible hangover that won't go away. ahhh, that is all, goodinght.
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