What's the Real Deal with Bill McNeal???

So I am thinking I'm in some sort of slump, but I don't recall ever having a late July early August slump, normally everything is fine at that point, except for three years in a row of car troubles happening around that point( cursed curse) I mean I was even moping around at the Sox game Friday (yesterday still in my head) as I mentioned in my Xanga, but I was totally enjoying it, just couldn't show it. So today (really yesterday, but I'll just say Saturday) I figured I just needed rest, sleep cures all right? well except laziness and other things, but sleep should do the trick, by the time I'd wake everything would be forgotten and I'd be fine. Think agian, sleep only fed it. And not only did sleep make things worse, but during my sleep I had dreams, or should I say nightmares, yeah nightmares, I had nightmares. There were a multitude of dreams, but i can't remember what order they were in or where they broke, they just ran together. I remember they made me depressed in the dream, I cried or felt like crying, sometimes I was in my old house, sometiems here, renting out parts of them as well becasue they were made into one house, and brooke was there but she was saying things which only made everything worse. and then there were ghosts, god i am so terrified of ghosts, but only in my dream, I mean I have always wanted to go to ghost sites and be a parapsychologist. but for some reason ghosts are in my dream and they are always evil spirits, always doing some sort of harm, and I think this time I was going to die. eek. at one point I thought they were gone, but then as the parapsychologist came over his detectore thing was going crazy and the whole house was haunted, not just one room. I don't know what any of this means really, I've always thought my old house was haunted, but I didn't think about that at all yesterday or any time recently. So there must be a lot going on, I don't know what is going on really. At work tonight Wendy asked me if I wanted to go to the warehouse with her after everyone left, normally I would say yes becuase I hate the fact that we're there on saturdays for only a couple hours, but i told her no, it would be best for me not to be around people at that point because earlier i went off on a coworker for writting on my car, which I had warned them about many times prior. I don't know, it's just something that makes me erally mad, probably because it's harder to get off. i'd rather have someone piss on it then write in the dirt messing up the paint and all. Well I'm hoping tomorrow is nice, I just want to sit outside and look around for a bit, maybe go driving out in te country and whatnot, just someting to get away from it all, or clear my head, or find direction. I'm getting a little tired, though I'm afraid to fall asleep knowing that it will probably mess with me some more, but at this point I'd say if I were to fall asleep, I'd be lucky to not wake.
"Search til the end, when you do you'll realize you're at the beginning"