like a drifter i was born to walk alone
the day started as haphazardly as any day off would...me sleeping in, not wanting to get up..i don't think i even got up for the first two hours, i don't know how i didn't piss myself. i find myself at the computer, it's just a natural thing for me to do now-a-days; i wake up, move the mouse trackpad around with my finger, then depending on what i see, i'll sit up and bring the lappy on over.
i converse via aim to several friends of mine (some like to tease me though, lol) all the while i sit and think, what am i gonna do..i should have gone to Ohio, anything is a means to nothing. i don't feel like getting up and doing anything yet, it's all i wanna do...my phone starts ringing, it's from work, i know i don't wanna do that, so i just let it ring, today's my day off, and my daughter's wedding day...it's somewhere after two thirty, i've still yet to remove myself from the blankets when i get a text from Betty, she's asking about meeting up after 3..
i remember sending texts last night, trying to instill ideas of action into people's heads..one out of how many are my kind of odds....doesn't matter how many lame responses you don't receive, it's the one that comes back that counts. in her defense it wasn't that i didn't think she'd come through, i didn't think plans would come through, so i was a little surprised when i see her asking about meeting in less than an hour. problem, btown is an hour away, and i'm still a woken up mess, definitely in need of a good shower and comb over, or something...so i make plans, just pushing back the time a little and i'm on my way.
we meet and decide to catch a bite with drinks at a local hot spot, and just are luck, it's half off Wednesday...Betty is contemplating drinks and tells me she may just go easy and get beer..not for me, not tonight i order my double tangueray and tonic, short...she then orders a double jack and coke, tall, responding that she liked my style.
we sit, we drink, we eat, we drink, we talk, we drink...we talk about a lot, i enjoy my time with Betty, she's smart, can follow my stories, even my rapid speech - she's a happy girl, i've never known her to really be upset about anything, maybe we're not that close - i mean i'm sure she's had her tragic life experiences, who hasn't, but she shows no chips what-so-ever. in a round-about way i tell her how i'm drawn to her for some reason or another. i know we are just friends, i know she has a boyfriend, but i tell her there's something about her that says 'good person' that i like. i even go over the things i wouldn't normally like, making mention of random things only i could, and i could get away with. we both giggle at the mention of everything i just said, she knows she's a force to be reckoned with, either you roll with her or you stay at home...if you're lucky enough to get you hook into her, maybe you aren't so lucky, she'll just tire you out before you know it...maybe that's what i need?
i know Betty reads the blog, i know she'll read this, but that was another thing that was so alluring for me..anyone who can take the time out of their lives to use this as a device for reflection, or for laughter, or whatever - i have time for that. i forget at times when talking to people i know and start to tell stories with players referenced in my blog, i know in my head the person i am talking to knows of these people, i just forget to change their names to the fake names, or make the proper reference..
Betty eyes the nachos intensely as she sips from her straw, and strategically removes a chip from the mound of cheese and chicken; and then, it happens. i didn't want to talk about the ex, i rehearsed it going into this conversation how i would skate around it, but there's no point avoiding it anymore..prior to this moment i had been working on brushing by the topic to the point i wanted to just blurt it all out, but i had no lead in, so i sat and discussed other topics, until now.
i talk, she offers her insight and i just keep telling myself using her as a bounceboard, just how pointless the relationship was. whether this is me being sincere, me using that defense to feel better, whatever the case, i believe it because it's all i can at this point. i won't go into details right now, but that was my theme for the day - "it's stupid that i'm upset about the breakup, and what i hate is that i can't deal with it"
Betty's parents join us on a completely act of randomness, and soon Betty's boyfriend would join too. it starts to rain, so we became one of those tables who rushes inside to seek shelter and find a new table. once inside i realize i know one of the bartenders and ask our server to have her stop by..it's been ages since i've seen her, maybe a time a comedy caravan within the past year, but prior to that, who knows, last time i lived in btown?
now here's the point that's absolutely absurd, and i wish i could say i was making this up on part of being a horrible writer, but i digress, i cannot...our waitress was of Asian decent, and as more alcohol got into me, the more of an idiot i became..i asked the waitress what her major was, her response in stereotypical Asian fashion, mathematics and astronomy....and i'm right on the ball asking if she intended on joining NASA, all the while my thoughts are now into TJ's blog and how he has people from NASA checking in on him..well, she was thinking about NASA, but it's a really selective program so she said something else we couldn't understand...but it gets better..so later i ask my friend bartender what our waitresses names was, because, well, she never gave it and she had been serving us for a couple hours now..i kid you not, Saki Honda...i didn't believe it when i first heard it either - i thought it was some sort of nickname or joke name..no, when i called it aloud, our waitress responded..
The parents and boyfriend stayed for about two rounds and a pizza, and when the bill came Betty and I quickly grabbed it off the table..somehow we managed to acquire a bill of ninety dollars, on half off Wednesday..i was a little in shock, to which Betty replied with, we drank a lot jangus...
after the bill was paid everyone departed, but i stayed to talk with my bartender...i stayed long enough to get stamped so i could come back later..my next stop was visiting hippolover - it was her boyfriend's birthday, they were all celebrating down on one of the lanes of bowl, right off 17th..it was a good time, though i didn't bowl, the lover of hippos and i just talked about things - i went into 'how it's really just so stupid for me to be feeling hurt' lines i used earlier, maybe they were perfected by now because she agreed completely.
Hippolover reads the blog and has been a positive encouraging source for writing and the breakup...you know what would be fucked up, if these people really just invited me to hang out with them so i would write about them, so they could see their made up name...now that's funny, but hardly anywhere near the truth....maybe when i get thousands of hits a day that'll be the case.
bowling ends and i find myself back at Sports, this time its packed..the college hooligans have filled it up, what with their scantily clad outfits, douchebag guys, drinking spilling asses....i remember why i don't go out to bars anymore..and alone, what the fuck was i thinking..(i remember now why they said you had to be drunk before you went to Louie's) this is not my element and it's apparent to the patrons around...to the point where one drunk chick calls me out.
i eventually find my bartender..i came in just because i said i was going to, we chat quickly, she's not too busy, there are too many bartenders in her section..i ask for a lemonade, she gives me a pineapple juice..we end our conversation and i leave some money for my free drink as a tip before turning away..just as i take my second step i am stopped in my tracks by the deafening ringing of a bell, i look over my shoulder back in the direction i came, it's my bartender and she's mouthing the words 'thank you'. i blink as i nod my head and disappear into the crowd.
i converse via aim to several friends of mine (some like to tease me though, lol) all the while i sit and think, what am i gonna do..i should have gone to Ohio, anything is a means to nothing. i don't feel like getting up and doing anything yet, it's all i wanna do...my phone starts ringing, it's from work, i know i don't wanna do that, so i just let it ring, today's my day off, and my daughter's wedding day...it's somewhere after two thirty, i've still yet to remove myself from the blankets when i get a text from Betty, she's asking about meeting up after 3..
i remember sending texts last night, trying to instill ideas of action into people's heads..one out of how many are my kind of odds....doesn't matter how many lame responses you don't receive, it's the one that comes back that counts. in her defense it wasn't that i didn't think she'd come through, i didn't think plans would come through, so i was a little surprised when i see her asking about meeting in less than an hour. problem, btown is an hour away, and i'm still a woken up mess, definitely in need of a good shower and comb over, or something...so i make plans, just pushing back the time a little and i'm on my way.
we meet and decide to catch a bite with drinks at a local hot spot, and just are luck, it's half off Wednesday...Betty is contemplating drinks and tells me she may just go easy and get beer..not for me, not tonight i order my double tangueray and tonic, short...she then orders a double jack and coke, tall, responding that she liked my style.
we sit, we drink, we eat, we drink, we talk, we drink...we talk about a lot, i enjoy my time with Betty, she's smart, can follow my stories, even my rapid speech - she's a happy girl, i've never known her to really be upset about anything, maybe we're not that close - i mean i'm sure she's had her tragic life experiences, who hasn't, but she shows no chips what-so-ever. in a round-about way i tell her how i'm drawn to her for some reason or another. i know we are just friends, i know she has a boyfriend, but i tell her there's something about her that says 'good person' that i like. i even go over the things i wouldn't normally like, making mention of random things only i could, and i could get away with. we both giggle at the mention of everything i just said, she knows she's a force to be reckoned with, either you roll with her or you stay at home...if you're lucky enough to get you hook into her, maybe you aren't so lucky, she'll just tire you out before you know it...maybe that's what i need?
i know Betty reads the blog, i know she'll read this, but that was another thing that was so alluring for me..anyone who can take the time out of their lives to use this as a device for reflection, or for laughter, or whatever - i have time for that. i forget at times when talking to people i know and start to tell stories with players referenced in my blog, i know in my head the person i am talking to knows of these people, i just forget to change their names to the fake names, or make the proper reference..
Betty eyes the nachos intensely as she sips from her straw, and strategically removes a chip from the mound of cheese and chicken; and then, it happens. i didn't want to talk about the ex, i rehearsed it going into this conversation how i would skate around it, but there's no point avoiding it anymore..prior to this moment i had been working on brushing by the topic to the point i wanted to just blurt it all out, but i had no lead in, so i sat and discussed other topics, until now.
i talk, she offers her insight and i just keep telling myself using her as a bounceboard, just how pointless the relationship was. whether this is me being sincere, me using that defense to feel better, whatever the case, i believe it because it's all i can at this point. i won't go into details right now, but that was my theme for the day - "it's stupid that i'm upset about the breakup, and what i hate is that i can't deal with it"
Betty's parents join us on a completely act of randomness, and soon Betty's boyfriend would join too. it starts to rain, so we became one of those tables who rushes inside to seek shelter and find a new table. once inside i realize i know one of the bartenders and ask our server to have her stop by..it's been ages since i've seen her, maybe a time a comedy caravan within the past year, but prior to that, who knows, last time i lived in btown?
now here's the point that's absolutely absurd, and i wish i could say i was making this up on part of being a horrible writer, but i digress, i cannot...our waitress was of Asian decent, and as more alcohol got into me, the more of an idiot i became..i asked the waitress what her major was, her response in stereotypical Asian fashion, mathematics and astronomy....and i'm right on the ball asking if she intended on joining NASA, all the while my thoughts are now into TJ's blog and how he has people from NASA checking in on him..well, she was thinking about NASA, but it's a really selective program so she said something else we couldn't understand...but it gets better..so later i ask my friend bartender what our waitresses names was, because, well, she never gave it and she had been serving us for a couple hours now..i kid you not, Saki Honda...i didn't believe it when i first heard it either - i thought it was some sort of nickname or joke name..no, when i called it aloud, our waitress responded..
The parents and boyfriend stayed for about two rounds and a pizza, and when the bill came Betty and I quickly grabbed it off the table..somehow we managed to acquire a bill of ninety dollars, on half off Wednesday..i was a little in shock, to which Betty replied with, we drank a lot jangus...
after the bill was paid everyone departed, but i stayed to talk with my bartender...i stayed long enough to get stamped so i could come back later..my next stop was visiting hippolover - it was her boyfriend's birthday, they were all celebrating down on one of the lanes of bowl, right off 17th..it was a good time, though i didn't bowl, the lover of hippos and i just talked about things - i went into 'how it's really just so stupid for me to be feeling hurt' lines i used earlier, maybe they were perfected by now because she agreed completely.
Hippolover reads the blog and has been a positive encouraging source for writing and the breakup...you know what would be fucked up, if these people really just invited me to hang out with them so i would write about them, so they could see their made up name...now that's funny, but hardly anywhere near the truth....maybe when i get thousands of hits a day that'll be the case.
bowling ends and i find myself back at Sports, this time its packed..the college hooligans have filled it up, what with their scantily clad outfits, douchebag guys, drinking spilling asses....i remember why i don't go out to bars anymore..and alone, what the fuck was i thinking..(i remember now why they said you had to be drunk before you went to Louie's) this is not my element and it's apparent to the patrons around...to the point where one drunk chick calls me out.
i eventually find my bartender..i came in just because i said i was going to, we chat quickly, she's not too busy, there are too many bartenders in her section..i ask for a lemonade, she gives me a pineapple juice..we end our conversation and i leave some money for my free drink as a tip before turning away..just as i take my second step i am stopped in my tracks by the deafening ringing of a bell, i look over my shoulder back in the direction i came, it's my bartender and she's mouthing the words 'thank you'. i blink as i nod my head and disappear into the crowd.
"cheer up, you look sad"
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