but in an alright kinda way..
After having to recant everything that just went down on the ill fated TTown trip to Phil, we moved forward with the night..well, at least that's how i would like to remember it...as much as i would like to say it was only a ten minute conversation of just the details, it was not...phil asked questions, one of which was what the next move was, i said just as she wants, she's gonna get her shit and that'll be the end of her...note that it was at this time i changed her name on my phone from "Buttercup" to "waste of energy", so if you see any "waste of ___" it's in reference to her more than likely...
i've never actually hung out with Phil before, so it was a night of bonding for us...with gary gone to talk to his future ex girlfriend and passing out on us, it was just phil and i to reflect back onto things...this got me into story mode - i covered everything from scarface to showering with my ex to bringing it back old school with pity party...
phil sat and listened, being wildly entertained by my stories - i hope to one day record them all, jot them all down, somehow get them published one way or another...just because they are something special to me..i also feel it's the best way for me to remember them...it seems like as i get older i keep telling the same jokes and the same stories over and over...i wish i could remember them all..i guess that's what friends are for...
the night grows into morning and we are still awake, i'm still drinking, and we are still exchanging stories..somehow we work into the supernatural and creep ourselves out...lucky for us dawn is breaking as we look at our phones to see it's almost seven in the morning..Phil realizes he has to be somewhere at 8 so he hops in the shower..i give a call to joy to fill her in on the night's events...(i would later find out that she thought i sounded like i was coked out...sooo, i guess that's what i get for being drunk for an entire night and staying up til 7am...)
Let's just say joy is beyond pissed at the ex, i know if she could make it possible, she would have been over in two seconds to kick somebody's ass..she even threatened to come down on sunday to go off on the waste of time, but i assured her, as much as we would both love for that, it was just a waste of energy...
i pass out shortly after Joy ends the call...i'm awoken at 1130 when Gary goes off to get his haircut..i throw up the deuces to let him know i am still alive and roll over, ball up in the fetal position and adjust the hood on my jacket to not let the light in..
a couple hours pass and i decide it's time to wake up..well, i don't really wanna wake up, but i need to do something about the rumbling in my butt that is making my stomach hate me as well...just for future record, hot wings and rum do not mix..so i gather my stuff and head out...as i open the door i am greeted by the afternoon sun, to which i make the comment, "this has to be the brightest it has ever been..ever". i start to close the door behind me when i hear a noise coming from around the corner of the apartment building..my hand hangs onto the door knob as the sound gets closer...somebody's whistling and having a gay ol time....the originator of the noise turns the corner and i realize it's Gary..so i open the door and head back inside...
back inside the noise and commotion of gary and i wakes up phil, and we just pick up where we left off last night...gary's soon to be ex-girlfriend came over shortly after that as well...she gets the name of "soon to be ex-girlfriend" as a funny little joke..see, they aren't dating yet, but any girl Gary dates soon becomes his ex, it's like a revolving door...i can't really explain it..we're all hungry so we decide to go around the corner to Steak N Shake - i know right, it's like 2 pm not 2am and we are eating SnS? wow.
we're goofing off, being that one asshole table who just wants to have fun - the waitress luckily has time for it, but then Phil gets a call and his girlfriend (actual) is coming to join us...now there are two things kinda wrong with this scenario..the first and most present to you is the fact i somehow just became the fifth wheel..but the other part you don't know about is, Phil's girlfriend is...i like to say, special....no she's not retarded, she just is a lot more innocent and holier than thou art...so the swearing has to drop from a ten to a negative two...with her arrival it was like night and day at the table..sure we still joked around, but it was nothing near as bad as when we first arrived...
now i'm not saying this is entirely a bad thing..we all know how i talk out my ass without ever thinking about what it is i am actually saying...i think the most recent ex would agree whole heartedly with that..it's always been something i am made aware of, something i wish i could work on, but instincts are instincts..and i've become a callous asshole throughout my years...so i think that if i can make an effort to not say fuck every other word, i may make a a transition for the better good...
so after our meal it was back to the apartment..this is where things kinda got heavy...so the two guys are just that, guys, and the place is something short of a cluster fuck, typical stuff - similar to TJ's apartment...i don't know how people can live like that, but it's not my place, so i don't care....but Phil's gf does care..and ensued a little fight...
Phil is doing everything he can to meet the gf half way on things - i mean she's a typical girl with her typical issues...i mean in all actuality she's a really good girl, as a person and for him..she makes him want to better himself and she comes off as pretty cool...but in the same breath i will say at times she just needs to get it the fuck together..girls, can't explain them..so i just put my dick in them, joke joke..
well Phil grabs me and we go to Walmart to pick up cleaning supplies, anything to make the gf content...we talk about things, relationships, and we realize from the past almost 24 hours we have spent together, we are pretty close to the same person...we hare similar styles of comedy, we are able to play off one another and have witty banter, it's a change up from the usual people who have been present in my life, i say present as in people i interact with everyday face to face...not my close friends who are reading this getting pissed right now...sheesh
we are back at the apartment and the girl i sporadically dubbed my girlfriend has left..she came over after SnS and to make me feel more acceptable to the group, she was called that..now she is gone..so everyone starts cleaning, phil is trying his best to keep from blowing his top, i'm gently weeping while i play the guitar, offering some sort of cleaning music...i quickly get tuned out when Gary plugs in the ipod.
we spend the next two hours cleaning and rearranging, the apartment is really coming along, it's after 8 and we need a break for dinner...nobody has a preference on what to eat so we just all pile into one car...there's the debate on whether or not to take two vehicles or not..seeings how we have five people...we could either all cram together...or take two and be comfortable..had there been a nice even number, no doubt on what to do..
we change restaurant decisions several times before finally pulling into Pizza Hut..cool, we need a five top, so they pull together a couple tables, leaving six chairs...we start to look at the menu, and for the family meals they have an option for four people, and six people...it's cool, i'll just go fuck myself...
in all honesty i'm just playing around with the fifth wheel thing, honestly it should have some effect on me, what with the loss of my girlfriend and all..i should be a pitiful little bitch right about now...but instead, it's all jokes and rolls right off my back...
after dinner we make a stop at linens n things...apparently it is going out of business, but they kick us out because it's nine o'clock...the group gives me crap because i was talking with one of the store associates the entire time we were in there...they asked if i got her number..sure did...five..
back at the apartment we were all trying to figure out what to do..i randomly picked to play Loser - my favorite board game ever...next to monopoly...so only two highlights were worth mentioning...the first being Gary is probably the biggest loser of all time...he had spelt loser twice before anyone spelt it the first time...and he almost made it to a third...Phil's gf was last to get loser, on a challenge by me...who doesn't like tomatoes or mushrooms?
the second highlight was when i was about to roll the dice when i noticed all the game pieces were all on one square...except mine...on the complete other side of the board, all by itself...again, another fifth wheel reference...i told everyone i was just gonna go kill myself..using the safety scissors of course...
the night eventually winds down...the girls leave one by one...i stick around for a bit, but then decide to go home as well as Gary sits in the car with his gf to be ex soon and Phil is having an argument with his gf on the phone..didn't...didn't they just leave..so i went home...went to sleep...should have had Pat pick up my shift...
i've never actually hung out with Phil before, so it was a night of bonding for us...with gary gone to talk to his future ex girlfriend and passing out on us, it was just phil and i to reflect back onto things...this got me into story mode - i covered everything from scarface to showering with my ex to bringing it back old school with pity party...
phil sat and listened, being wildly entertained by my stories - i hope to one day record them all, jot them all down, somehow get them published one way or another...just because they are something special to me..i also feel it's the best way for me to remember them...it seems like as i get older i keep telling the same jokes and the same stories over and over...i wish i could remember them all..i guess that's what friends are for...
the night grows into morning and we are still awake, i'm still drinking, and we are still exchanging stories..somehow we work into the supernatural and creep ourselves out...lucky for us dawn is breaking as we look at our phones to see it's almost seven in the morning..Phil realizes he has to be somewhere at 8 so he hops in the shower..i give a call to joy to fill her in on the night's events...(i would later find out that she thought i sounded like i was coked out...sooo, i guess that's what i get for being drunk for an entire night and staying up til 7am...)
Let's just say joy is beyond pissed at the ex, i know if she could make it possible, she would have been over in two seconds to kick somebody's ass..she even threatened to come down on sunday to go off on the waste of time, but i assured her, as much as we would both love for that, it was just a waste of energy...
i pass out shortly after Joy ends the call...i'm awoken at 1130 when Gary goes off to get his haircut..i throw up the deuces to let him know i am still alive and roll over, ball up in the fetal position and adjust the hood on my jacket to not let the light in..
a couple hours pass and i decide it's time to wake up..well, i don't really wanna wake up, but i need to do something about the rumbling in my butt that is making my stomach hate me as well...just for future record, hot wings and rum do not mix..so i gather my stuff and head out...as i open the door i am greeted by the afternoon sun, to which i make the comment, "this has to be the brightest it has ever been..ever". i start to close the door behind me when i hear a noise coming from around the corner of the apartment building..my hand hangs onto the door knob as the sound gets closer...somebody's whistling and having a gay ol time....the originator of the noise turns the corner and i realize it's Gary..so i open the door and head back inside...
back inside the noise and commotion of gary and i wakes up phil, and we just pick up where we left off last night...gary's soon to be ex-girlfriend came over shortly after that as well...she gets the name of "soon to be ex-girlfriend" as a funny little joke..see, they aren't dating yet, but any girl Gary dates soon becomes his ex, it's like a revolving door...i can't really explain it..we're all hungry so we decide to go around the corner to Steak N Shake - i know right, it's like 2 pm not 2am and we are eating SnS? wow.
we're goofing off, being that one asshole table who just wants to have fun - the waitress luckily has time for it, but then Phil gets a call and his girlfriend (actual) is coming to join us...now there are two things kinda wrong with this scenario..the first and most present to you is the fact i somehow just became the fifth wheel..but the other part you don't know about is, Phil's girlfriend is...i like to say, special....no she's not retarded, she just is a lot more innocent and holier than thou art...so the swearing has to drop from a ten to a negative two...with her arrival it was like night and day at the table..sure we still joked around, but it was nothing near as bad as when we first arrived...
now i'm not saying this is entirely a bad thing..we all know how i talk out my ass without ever thinking about what it is i am actually saying...i think the most recent ex would agree whole heartedly with that..it's always been something i am made aware of, something i wish i could work on, but instincts are instincts..and i've become a callous asshole throughout my years...so i think that if i can make an effort to not say fuck every other word, i may make a a transition for the better good...
so after our meal it was back to the apartment..this is where things kinda got heavy...so the two guys are just that, guys, and the place is something short of a cluster fuck, typical stuff - similar to TJ's apartment...i don't know how people can live like that, but it's not my place, so i don't care....but Phil's gf does care..and ensued a little fight...
Phil is doing everything he can to meet the gf half way on things - i mean she's a typical girl with her typical issues...i mean in all actuality she's a really good girl, as a person and for him..she makes him want to better himself and she comes off as pretty cool...but in the same breath i will say at times she just needs to get it the fuck together..girls, can't explain them..so i just put my dick in them, joke joke..
well Phil grabs me and we go to Walmart to pick up cleaning supplies, anything to make the gf content...we talk about things, relationships, and we realize from the past almost 24 hours we have spent together, we are pretty close to the same person...we hare similar styles of comedy, we are able to play off one another and have witty banter, it's a change up from the usual people who have been present in my life, i say present as in people i interact with everyday face to face...not my close friends who are reading this getting pissed right now...sheesh
we are back at the apartment and the girl i sporadically dubbed my girlfriend has left..she came over after SnS and to make me feel more acceptable to the group, she was called that..now she is gone..so everyone starts cleaning, phil is trying his best to keep from blowing his top, i'm gently weeping while i play the guitar, offering some sort of cleaning music...i quickly get tuned out when Gary plugs in the ipod.
we spend the next two hours cleaning and rearranging, the apartment is really coming along, it's after 8 and we need a break for dinner...nobody has a preference on what to eat so we just all pile into one car...there's the debate on whether or not to take two vehicles or not..seeings how we have five people...we could either all cram together...or take two and be comfortable..had there been a nice even number, no doubt on what to do..
we change restaurant decisions several times before finally pulling into Pizza Hut..cool, we need a five top, so they pull together a couple tables, leaving six chairs...we start to look at the menu, and for the family meals they have an option for four people, and six people...it's cool, i'll just go fuck myself...
in all honesty i'm just playing around with the fifth wheel thing, honestly it should have some effect on me, what with the loss of my girlfriend and all..i should be a pitiful little bitch right about now...but instead, it's all jokes and rolls right off my back...
after dinner we make a stop at linens n things...apparently it is going out of business, but they kick us out because it's nine o'clock...the group gives me crap because i was talking with one of the store associates the entire time we were in there...they asked if i got her number..sure did...five..
back at the apartment we were all trying to figure out what to do..i randomly picked to play Loser - my favorite board game ever...next to monopoly...so only two highlights were worth mentioning...the first being Gary is probably the biggest loser of all time...he had spelt loser twice before anyone spelt it the first time...and he almost made it to a third...Phil's gf was last to get loser, on a challenge by me...who doesn't like tomatoes or mushrooms?
the second highlight was when i was about to roll the dice when i noticed all the game pieces were all on one square...except mine...on the complete other side of the board, all by itself...again, another fifth wheel reference...i told everyone i was just gonna go kill myself..using the safety scissors of course...
the night eventually winds down...the girls leave one by one...i stick around for a bit, but then decide to go home as well as Gary sits in the car with his gf to be ex soon and Phil is having an argument with his gf on the phone..didn't...didn't they just leave..so i went home...went to sleep...should have had Pat pick up my shift...
"I got her number...what was it...5!"
2 comments:
whoops...
wow...I felt like I wasted a day reading this blog...I can't imagine how you felt living it... lol
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