i think...
It was around 1pm before we all woke up..it seems as if one person wakes up, everyone else will follow suit. We walk over to the office to find our little leasing consultant lady - we were really going through with this..correction, I was really going through with this. I signed my life way away, signed the next bit of my time away, I sealed my fate - for reasons I will never understand...
With the final signatures our keys were handed to us and we were on our way..today was the moving day, granted it didn’t start til 2, we had a mission we hoped to complete - take one apartment and move it three doors down.
Of course this sounds a lot easier in our heads than when we actually go forth with it...for the next..long time, we grab items from one place and walk them over to the new place - had you been a neighbor or passer-by it would have made no sense...around 5 I take a break and go back to my place...i want to move some of my stuff for a change. On the way back to my place I try to think of how I am gonna break the news to the Land Lady..i arrive at my place and she’s downstairs - cool..i was hoping to make this less obvious..so I gather my stuff, trying to box and bag up as much as possible, getting it ready to run out the door with when she finally heads up the stairs...we communicate via email, so I was just thinking I’d send her one telling her my situation..
I get a call as I am packing, from an old friend - Barbie girl - name given because it’s been her ring back tone as far as i can remember..we talk and that it my out..i start to make the trips to my car and load it up...those fucking cats are back...there are four cats on the sidewalk every time I open the door to get out of the house...they all come running up, thinking I’m the cat lady going to feed them...i kick and shoo them away..i fucking hate the strays..i’m glad I’m moving
While in my room on the phone I am approached from the doorway by the Cat Lady, she’s holding a sign that reads, “are you moving” I can’t ignore it, but I blow it off with a quick response of yeah, well, I’ve got a lot going on, I’m putting stuff into storage, some of these things are a waste of spaces, I’m just getting my shit in order..she asks me when do I think I’ll be gone..i respond with my lease is over on the fifth, so til then..she panics and runs off...one week notice on a month to month lease is pretty good notice, and hell, a week from me is a great notice...
She returns again this time not caring that I am in conversation on the phone and starts asking me questions, I hate confrontation and I hate getting interrupted..i hate stupid questions, I hate being put on the spot...i return answers to her being short and sharp...if she pushes it, I may just go off on her, telling her everything I have ever wanted to say...about how I hate those fucking cats, hate the fact she feeds them to give her a feeling of self worth and neediness, how her cooking smells horrible, how she constantly overloads the fridge and freezer making all my food go bad, how it makes her food go bad, how there’s no air flow in there what-so-ever and it’s just causing the machine to break faster...i’ve got more, but she has left my sight, and I remember I am on the phone...back to packing...
I finally leave and head for the apartment. On my way back I reflect and think about how this parallels my time spent in btown..actually it’s all too similar...i lived in btown for two years, almost, I changed where I lived after the first ten months - right after a girl broke up with me, went from a house to an apartment, just down the road, and then I left btown for CP...so at this rate, come this time next year I won’t be here...scary.
I’m back at the apartment throwing things into my room, trying to get things together, make it seem like I actually live somewhere...Phil’s gf comes over, putting the potential for dinner on a halt, so Gary, his soon to be gf and ex gf, and I leave to get stuff for our shared bathroom..
We return after 9 and dinner is just now being prepared, thank the lord, I’m starving...people start coming over, we have shit everywhere and are barely moved in and people are showing up...one of which was hilary. Dinner is served and is delicious..actually I’d eat anything at this point..i do the dishes - as I was not the one who made the dinner, so it’s only fair right? Later phil’s gf and I make blueberry muffins for some reason and hilary pops the champagne she bought us as a moving in present - not vueve, but it’s still good.
Later in the night hilary and I start to wrestle, I think it was something about her about to smoke, and I said no..who knows...the only thing I know to be true is this bitch means business when she’s fighting...i could never play this rough with any of my girlfriends in the past, and with guys it gets a lot dirtier, so there’s a fine line...i play to where I have control, but there’s so many double standards..like she cant bite chunks out of my skin, but I can’t because her bf would kill her...i get her in a choke hold, but I don’t apply enough pressure to choke her, just contain her..she gags saying she can’t breath so I left go, and she attacks...she flips me over her back, she bends my fingers greater than a 90 degree angle telling me she’s gonna break my fingers...and then, the crucial par of the night is when she got me good...somehow I got thrown into the corner of the kitchen, she smartly pinned her back to me using her legs on the other walls for leverage...i can hear the cabinets cracking, that’s how hard she’s pushing me into the wall and cabinet..
i congratulate her on the great move, but then I start to panic...i hate being closed in, I’m claustrophobic, so now I think I can’t breath...i panic, my heart races, my breathing increases..i say something to the effect that I wanted out..she wanted me to tell her she won...never...i finally gain control over myself, I pause, and then squirm my way out with all my might and pin her to the ground - fuck yeah!
Afterwards I’m in complete pain...i’m bleeding, and I just drink more so the pain will go away and not be as intense, brilliant idea...things settle down and Gary and his girl go into his room to watch a movie, hilary and phil have a conversation, and i'm left to myself...i was actually apart of the conversation with hilary and phil, but couldn't get a word in edge wise so i just gave up, i hate when people do that..so i walked from room to room, texted, make phone calls, anything to keep myself occupied...
the time spent doing all these things seems to be a lengthy time..who knows how long they actually lasted...cpydi grows weary with the conversation and says she's heading to bed, that's about the time hilary has her on the phone..about the time gary's girl is leaving and everyone else is going to bed...
i follow the lead and start to make a nest on the floor with my blankets and pillows...hilary comes back into my room not wanting to go to sleep just yet...i have nothing left to offer, she's been following phil around like a puppy, i just want to lay down, and now that everyone has gone to bed, the noise has stopped, so can i..
i curl up and hilary comes and sits down next to me, saying she won't stay for much longer...i know where this is going...i ask her what time she had class in the morning, to which i set my alarm for accurately..it's funny how many times that situation will play out and how much of a robotic drone my response is..yet, it does feel good to have someone stay the night with you.
With the final signatures our keys were handed to us and we were on our way..today was the moving day, granted it didn’t start til 2, we had a mission we hoped to complete - take one apartment and move it three doors down.
Of course this sounds a lot easier in our heads than when we actually go forth with it...for the next..long time, we grab items from one place and walk them over to the new place - had you been a neighbor or passer-by it would have made no sense...around 5 I take a break and go back to my place...i want to move some of my stuff for a change. On the way back to my place I try to think of how I am gonna break the news to the Land Lady..i arrive at my place and she’s downstairs - cool..i was hoping to make this less obvious..so I gather my stuff, trying to box and bag up as much as possible, getting it ready to run out the door with when she finally heads up the stairs...we communicate via email, so I was just thinking I’d send her one telling her my situation..
I get a call as I am packing, from an old friend - Barbie girl - name given because it’s been her ring back tone as far as i can remember..we talk and that it my out..i start to make the trips to my car and load it up...those fucking cats are back...there are four cats on the sidewalk every time I open the door to get out of the house...they all come running up, thinking I’m the cat lady going to feed them...i kick and shoo them away..i fucking hate the strays..i’m glad I’m moving
While in my room on the phone I am approached from the doorway by the Cat Lady, she’s holding a sign that reads, “are you moving” I can’t ignore it, but I blow it off with a quick response of yeah, well, I’ve got a lot going on, I’m putting stuff into storage, some of these things are a waste of spaces, I’m just getting my shit in order..she asks me when do I think I’ll be gone..i respond with my lease is over on the fifth, so til then..she panics and runs off...one week notice on a month to month lease is pretty good notice, and hell, a week from me is a great notice...
She returns again this time not caring that I am in conversation on the phone and starts asking me questions, I hate confrontation and I hate getting interrupted..i hate stupid questions, I hate being put on the spot...i return answers to her being short and sharp...if she pushes it, I may just go off on her, telling her everything I have ever wanted to say...about how I hate those fucking cats, hate the fact she feeds them to give her a feeling of self worth and neediness, how her cooking smells horrible, how she constantly overloads the fridge and freezer making all my food go bad, how it makes her food go bad, how there’s no air flow in there what-so-ever and it’s just causing the machine to break faster...i’ve got more, but she has left my sight, and I remember I am on the phone...back to packing...
I finally leave and head for the apartment. On my way back I reflect and think about how this parallels my time spent in btown..actually it’s all too similar...i lived in btown for two years, almost, I changed where I lived after the first ten months - right after a girl broke up with me, went from a house to an apartment, just down the road, and then I left btown for CP...so at this rate, come this time next year I won’t be here...scary.
I’m back at the apartment throwing things into my room, trying to get things together, make it seem like I actually live somewhere...Phil’s gf comes over, putting the potential for dinner on a halt, so Gary, his soon to be gf and ex gf, and I leave to get stuff for our shared bathroom..
We return after 9 and dinner is just now being prepared, thank the lord, I’m starving...people start coming over, we have shit everywhere and are barely moved in and people are showing up...one of which was hilary. Dinner is served and is delicious..actually I’d eat anything at this point..i do the dishes - as I was not the one who made the dinner, so it’s only fair right? Later phil’s gf and I make blueberry muffins for some reason and hilary pops the champagne she bought us as a moving in present - not vueve, but it’s still good.
Later in the night hilary and I start to wrestle, I think it was something about her about to smoke, and I said no..who knows...the only thing I know to be true is this bitch means business when she’s fighting...i could never play this rough with any of my girlfriends in the past, and with guys it gets a lot dirtier, so there’s a fine line...i play to where I have control, but there’s so many double standards..like she cant bite chunks out of my skin, but I can’t because her bf would kill her...i get her in a choke hold, but I don’t apply enough pressure to choke her, just contain her..she gags saying she can’t breath so I left go, and she attacks...she flips me over her back, she bends my fingers greater than a 90 degree angle telling me she’s gonna break my fingers...and then, the crucial par of the night is when she got me good...somehow I got thrown into the corner of the kitchen, she smartly pinned her back to me using her legs on the other walls for leverage...i can hear the cabinets cracking, that’s how hard she’s pushing me into the wall and cabinet..
i congratulate her on the great move, but then I start to panic...i hate being closed in, I’m claustrophobic, so now I think I can’t breath...i panic, my heart races, my breathing increases..i say something to the effect that I wanted out..she wanted me to tell her she won...never...i finally gain control over myself, I pause, and then squirm my way out with all my might and pin her to the ground - fuck yeah!
Afterwards I’m in complete pain...i’m bleeding, and I just drink more so the pain will go away and not be as intense, brilliant idea...things settle down and Gary and his girl go into his room to watch a movie, hilary and phil have a conversation, and i'm left to myself...i was actually apart of the conversation with hilary and phil, but couldn't get a word in edge wise so i just gave up, i hate when people do that..so i walked from room to room, texted, make phone calls, anything to keep myself occupied...
the time spent doing all these things seems to be a lengthy time..who knows how long they actually lasted...cpydi grows weary with the conversation and says she's heading to bed, that's about the time hilary has her on the phone..about the time gary's girl is leaving and everyone else is going to bed...
i follow the lead and start to make a nest on the floor with my blankets and pillows...hilary comes back into my room not wanting to go to sleep just yet...i have nothing left to offer, she's been following phil around like a puppy, i just want to lay down, and now that everyone has gone to bed, the noise has stopped, so can i..
i curl up and hilary comes and sits down next to me, saying she won't stay for much longer...i know where this is going...i ask her what time she had class in the morning, to which i set my alarm for accurately..it's funny how many times that situation will play out and how much of a robotic drone my response is..yet, it does feel good to have someone stay the night with you.
"I'm drunk and i'm horny and i don't want you.."
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