is this it?
there's nothing really that happened today worthwhile mentioning...it was more of a day that i ranted to myself, questioned everything up and down, and just kinda left it at that. at work one of the hostess' asked me if i was sad, because i looked sad - i told her i wasn't necessarily sad, i just had a lot going on in my mind, and that was the 'no emotion' look...i guess i looked like little bo peep did all the time.. i will say i am sore today...all the pain from my feet has definitely gone through to rest of my body - at least i can walk now.
i spent the better part of the evening at work in the IRD (in room dining) room..far, far away from my section. i was bored out of my mind i waited on a 4-top that were having cocktails on the patio, a 2 top on the patio, and a one top in the cocktail lounge..all evening long...i offered assistance to my partner who was waiting on the what started out as a 15 but dropped to a 9 top..it was an easy party, preset menu, he just needed hands for bringing food out and clearing...
i was startled at one point, as i walked into the IRD room the two girls were having a discussion about something, but with my entrance they asked my opinion..the topic, "do you believe in love, love at first sight, or just what.." i responding saying, of all times, you ask me now..
wow...my opinion may be a little swayed in light of recent events, but i'll hold to what i would like to believe...i'm still a hopeless romantic, i always have been on, and more than likely will always be one...i want sex to mean love, i know a lot of times it does not, but i would like for sex to mean love. i know not all sex is out of love, there is fucking, there is love making, there's sex... there may not be only one person for you out there, i think there are several that could work...and i think you can make anything work out..hell, look at my last relationship..i can go through every little thing that was wrong with that relationship, but i'd take it back in a heartbeat. it's not settling, it's not compromising, it's just dealing..dealing with someone else.
you take another person with hopes, dreams, failures, a past, problems, and add that to your mix of problems, plans, misadventures, you're gonna have to be flexible. people aren't perfect, and those that are 'perfect' to you are just people you look past their foibles and deal with it. i remember getting into arguments with the ex on several occasions, she would do something that i would get upset about and she'd feel bad because she let me down - she'd ask why are you still with me if i do all these things wrong..i may have given her a 'too real' of an answer when i said, nobody is going to be my perfect mate, nobody is ever going to do everything exactly as i would like, and that's my problem, i have to deal with that and move on.. i know i ask for something that is impossible, so it's not that i'm settling and taking the next best thing, i'm taking the best thing (and through a stupid series of my own self-retardedness picks apart the best thing..)
it's funny, she knew i was picky, i only picked out the best of things, i have an incredible taste when it comes to random things..only the best for the jangus..but she would question why her, i couldn't convince her she was the best..that girl...
so i do believe in a love at first sight, i believe that when you see someone at first, yes, you are drawn to their physical beauty..it's apart of natural selection - you'll see breasts and think they can nurture my children, hips to bear my children, and so forth. but a step beside that i think you can get a feel for that person on another level as well...you can see their interactions with other people, other people's interactions with her, is she the center of attention, just get a feel for her persona, her aura, whatever it is she gives off, you can feel a connection with that. love at first sight might sound absolutely crazy, well, because essentially it is..love is crazy...
a lot of times when a man a woman meet, have some sort of connection, a little bit of chemistry, we automatically assume that it's supposed to be a sexual relationship, ie boyfriend girlfriend..it's in our genes, its our purpose in life, to spread the seed, so naturally when you meet someone of the opposite sex and hit it off, you want romance..but that may not be their purpose in your life...they may be in your life only to serve you as a friend..and that's where we meet that fine line..
sure you can have a friendship with two people..but if you want to go further, it's make or break, there is no turning back..to add sex to a friendship will result in something really good, or really bad..most of the time it's the loss of the friendship you will mourn in the breakup...it's one of those things if you add something to the equation, there's no real getting back to the original solution...all you can do is dissolve it, over and over, take steps down, try a reduction, and you'll have something close, but nothing near like what you had before...all is lost, all because you tried.
and as you can tell my feelings on exes becoming friends..either a breakup happened because someone did something so fucked up that you cannot allow someone like that in your life because friends wouldn't do that..or, where one person falls out of love with the other, and there's always going to be someone in love with the other..and it'll just suck because that other doesn't feel that way anymore - "sure we can hang out, watch movies, go out to dinner, but all those cutsie things we did while we were dating, they are gonna be a no go now, so don't even try it" either way, it just sucks...
now these are in relation to relationships...this does not attribute for the friendships where one really likes the other, but the second person isn't so much into that person, but they try to make it work with some sort of sexual act and it doesn't go well...ok, i know that sounds really crazy and all but i can speak from experience on this..this one girl and i tried on several occasions to make something out of nothing...it turned out being the worst sexual experience of our lives..i remember laughing the entire time for one instance...after all was said and done, we were still great friends..we only ended the friendship because, well, that's what we do...
there's only one girl i had a relationship with that i still talk to, we had a good break, the only good break i know of to this date, and it was only situational..she has a boyfriend now, and when i learned of this, i was a little sad in all honesty - i mean, we had a good relationship, there was nothing that happened that made me want to forget her, we just parted ways and that was that. like i said, i still talk to her, she just recently gave me advice as to why my ex broke up with me, funny to quote her saying, "you should have came to me sooner, i would have told you what you were doing wrong and you could have corrected it" way to go...
these are just some of my thoughts and views on things..they are not right, i know that..but it's my interpretation of the world..which changes with every life experience..
i spent the better part of the evening at work in the IRD (in room dining) room..far, far away from my section. i was bored out of my mind i waited on a 4-top that were having cocktails on the patio, a 2 top on the patio, and a one top in the cocktail lounge..all evening long...i offered assistance to my partner who was waiting on the what started out as a 15 but dropped to a 9 top..it was an easy party, preset menu, he just needed hands for bringing food out and clearing...
i was startled at one point, as i walked into the IRD room the two girls were having a discussion about something, but with my entrance they asked my opinion..the topic, "do you believe in love, love at first sight, or just what.." i responding saying, of all times, you ask me now..
wow...my opinion may be a little swayed in light of recent events, but i'll hold to what i would like to believe...i'm still a hopeless romantic, i always have been on, and more than likely will always be one...i want sex to mean love, i know a lot of times it does not, but i would like for sex to mean love. i know not all sex is out of love, there is fucking, there is love making, there's sex... there may not be only one person for you out there, i think there are several that could work...and i think you can make anything work out..hell, look at my last relationship..i can go through every little thing that was wrong with that relationship, but i'd take it back in a heartbeat. it's not settling, it's not compromising, it's just dealing..dealing with someone else.
you take another person with hopes, dreams, failures, a past, problems, and add that to your mix of problems, plans, misadventures, you're gonna have to be flexible. people aren't perfect, and those that are 'perfect' to you are just people you look past their foibles and deal with it. i remember getting into arguments with the ex on several occasions, she would do something that i would get upset about and she'd feel bad because she let me down - she'd ask why are you still with me if i do all these things wrong..i may have given her a 'too real' of an answer when i said, nobody is going to be my perfect mate, nobody is ever going to do everything exactly as i would like, and that's my problem, i have to deal with that and move on.. i know i ask for something that is impossible, so it's not that i'm settling and taking the next best thing, i'm taking the best thing (and through a stupid series of my own self-retardedness picks apart the best thing..)
it's funny, she knew i was picky, i only picked out the best of things, i have an incredible taste when it comes to random things..only the best for the jangus..but she would question why her, i couldn't convince her she was the best..that girl...
so i do believe in a love at first sight, i believe that when you see someone at first, yes, you are drawn to their physical beauty..it's apart of natural selection - you'll see breasts and think they can nurture my children, hips to bear my children, and so forth. but a step beside that i think you can get a feel for that person on another level as well...you can see their interactions with other people, other people's interactions with her, is she the center of attention, just get a feel for her persona, her aura, whatever it is she gives off, you can feel a connection with that. love at first sight might sound absolutely crazy, well, because essentially it is..love is crazy...
a lot of times when a man a woman meet, have some sort of connection, a little bit of chemistry, we automatically assume that it's supposed to be a sexual relationship, ie boyfriend girlfriend..it's in our genes, its our purpose in life, to spread the seed, so naturally when you meet someone of the opposite sex and hit it off, you want romance..but that may not be their purpose in your life...they may be in your life only to serve you as a friend..and that's where we meet that fine line..
sure you can have a friendship with two people..but if you want to go further, it's make or break, there is no turning back..to add sex to a friendship will result in something really good, or really bad..most of the time it's the loss of the friendship you will mourn in the breakup...it's one of those things if you add something to the equation, there's no real getting back to the original solution...all you can do is dissolve it, over and over, take steps down, try a reduction, and you'll have something close, but nothing near like what you had before...all is lost, all because you tried.
and as you can tell my feelings on exes becoming friends..either a breakup happened because someone did something so fucked up that you cannot allow someone like that in your life because friends wouldn't do that..or, where one person falls out of love with the other, and there's always going to be someone in love with the other..and it'll just suck because that other doesn't feel that way anymore - "sure we can hang out, watch movies, go out to dinner, but all those cutsie things we did while we were dating, they are gonna be a no go now, so don't even try it" either way, it just sucks...
now these are in relation to relationships...this does not attribute for the friendships where one really likes the other, but the second person isn't so much into that person, but they try to make it work with some sort of sexual act and it doesn't go well...ok, i know that sounds really crazy and all but i can speak from experience on this..this one girl and i tried on several occasions to make something out of nothing...it turned out being the worst sexual experience of our lives..i remember laughing the entire time for one instance...after all was said and done, we were still great friends..we only ended the friendship because, well, that's what we do...
there's only one girl i had a relationship with that i still talk to, we had a good break, the only good break i know of to this date, and it was only situational..she has a boyfriend now, and when i learned of this, i was a little sad in all honesty - i mean, we had a good relationship, there was nothing that happened that made me want to forget her, we just parted ways and that was that. like i said, i still talk to her, she just recently gave me advice as to why my ex broke up with me, funny to quote her saying, "you should have came to me sooner, i would have told you what you were doing wrong and you could have corrected it" way to go...
these are just some of my thoughts and views on things..they are not right, i know that..but it's my interpretation of the world..which changes with every life experience..
"I can be anything you want. Just tell me what you want and I’ll be that"
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