Dr. Jekel V Mr. Hyde
Bluey V Johnson

Let's do a little bit of a literary lesson here, it shall be fun...

alright, two sides of the same symbolic character, ohhh it's deep. and let's hit close to home by telling you I'm talking about myself, la la...yeah, so there is a definite difference in my personality right now....there's house me, and ten there's not in the house me - yeah, I can actually pin point the times the two kick in...as I am leaving the house, soon as I cross atwater...and when I return, it's usually 3/4 of the car ride back when it hits me and I become sluggish and outraged...

when I'm at the house I stay in the basement, only going up to use the bathroom or to leave...I don't partake in any other the house discussions I hear going on..I am sleeping everything off...and just stay down here..once I hear people I will go back to the tent, throw covers over me as to hide the sounds of their evil presence...

(funny how whenever I do go up the stairs, I have to turn off lights..whether it be the hallway lights (and it's daytime) or the lights on the credenza....funny thing about those lights..I'll come up, it's around 330am and the lights will be on, so I turn them off...I come up again say it's 8am now, the lights are back on...they're not a set of night lights..I know it's dark at night..but you can actually turn on a sequence of lights, and turn off a sequence of lights that are helpful to your needs believe it or not....I don't know, it's just like the porch light..that thing goes off when everyone goes to sleep, so it varies on time, no later than 2 though...door gets locked and yeah, lights out...whatever I'm not going to argue this, I'll just take the light bulbs out at night..and probably forget to put them back, so now they are purely ornamentation...fuck)

at work it takes a couple minutes for me to be sociable again, forgetting what it is like to be around people (being around people who not necessarily care, but don't not care as to the extreme of hurting you and your life) at work I open up, I'm talkative, I sign and dance, I do my thing..work is now my escape, which should never be the case in any situation. you should never really praise you are going to work, only to escape the abuse you receive from the house you stay at...

but it's counteractive, this being in the house..I feed off of their evil vibes...everything is working against each other, and thus making it hard to defeat any particular one thing.....I am getting sick, which inturn makes me delusional...the stress of being in this house only worsens the sickness, prolonging it's stay only to make me more delusional...then all the delusionalness does not allow for me to eat....not eating doesn't help the sickness and also makes me crazier...being in an unstable state doesn't help the mood that the house has - especially with me carrying around a knife everywhere I go and writing notes in blood...

if it weren't for the distractionary period of me going to work..crazy shit would go down....the time I am at work is like a reset button, clearing up the mood for a couple hours I had at the house...

all this is really crazy and irrational...

*I think somebody is taking out the trash right now......yeah, that's right..*

yeah, so being cooped up in here is just making things ten times worse..you can also throw in cabin fever, haven't gotten there just yet, but soon will I'm sure...so my best thing to do is take some time off and leave...thus clearing my head of all the problems I face every day here...clearing my body of the sickness...filling up my body with food (hopefully)...and cleansing my spirit with new adventure....only to return again and hoping this cycle doesn't happen again for some time...

so long story short...house=evil side, not here=better side...Bob Johnson=evil, Bluey=good...yeah, that's right....we've all known Dr Johnson was my alter ego and arch nemesis at the same time....



you make me wanna LA LA