Ascension...
Fallen Angels..

So it's getting better, but I better knock on wood while I can...

so yesterday things were slightly better, although I can't be too certain, I was at work for the majority of the day, before I had the chance to even wake up I was at work, and stayed there til late in the evening...so I never really had a chance to bring myself to conscience level while not at work...and once I get home it's a different world...and people weren't home so things were ok....so I guess it's too early in the game to say whether or not I'm alright, yesterday was just a day in passing where nothing happened, a day off from the regularly scheduled program....but let's think positively...

as for my dreams, they still are devastating...for the past week, every single night I have similar themes to them all...they are so disturbing in ways I can't explain I dread falling asleep at night...it's like some bad nightmare on elm street shit, but in all honesty all day I think about how fucked up these dreams are...hoping that I can block them out later...and when I pass out, they are nowhere on my mind, I'm thinking happy thoughts in blue land...

I didn't fall asleep until well after 5am on Thursday night/Friday morning...had a lot of things on my mind, and of course it was so excited it just couldn't think of going to sleep...whether she's to blame or not is a different topic, we all know how well I don't do with sleep to begin with...

but back to the nightmares...nothing bad happens in these dreams, normally run of the mill dreams...sort of...I just find it ironic how the two woman who destroyed my actual reality and world, now are present and haunting my every dream, single handedly crippling my non-reality existence as well....it's like Freddy V Jason, somehow they are working together....When one isn't there, the other is....could this men they are the same person...wow, let's not go there Oedipus...

so even though I haven't had contact with either of these two females, the descructors, in ages, all of a sudden they are back, and with a vengeance..as some suppressed subconscious breaking through to settle the score of differences to make right what once was wrong...or to take the thunder out of my chariot ride to cloud nine...