Bump in the Road..
..but I was sleeping...

So right...not cool at all.....

So I'm going to say this started with Wednesday Night, that may be a little too harsh on everything..but I believe it to be true...

of course I told you that Wednesday night I was in typical Wednesday night fashion...dissenent and angry at the world...leave me be, have your fun, I'm a spectator here, do you're thing and for the love of god, don't interrupt me or try to make me apart of it...

and then of course to only strengthen this poor mood, we got the illicit acts that I so heavily frown down upon...and as I said, the result was me going to escape the party for good in the safety of the Blue Palace of Lost Anglatis...cute no?

after the party talked with Neil, wherein he passed out as I was telling a story..funny how the one moment I actually get a word in edgewise on this kid he passes out..so back to the tent, got myself caught up on some things and called it a night....

but my dreams are just a horror of my what is about to be present and past....

I woke up actually disturbed from the dreams I had..there weren't anything horrifying in description, just living it out in the dream was really messed up...typical dream with an unnatural twist..something was wrong....

I could tell instantly from the few moments I was awake and moving around that it was me v world attitude...if anybody said something I was bound to go off on them...I wasn't in a good mood..and god forbid I was in that emo state...but just why was I feeling depressed, anxiety, hate, and utter disdain towards anything around me..beats me...

as I made it up the stairs I made myself a bowl of cereal, Lucky Charms of course, and noticed the dream Interpretation book still sitting on the edge of the couch, and has been for months now...in fact it was brought up the night prior for someone to return it to their bookshelf, but they refused...why? probably because they don't like to pick up after themselves..whatever, it's not my book and I didn't ask them to return, so this argument I'm just playing the Devil's Advocate....

and because I didn't feel like going through my actual dream book, I looked through this one, knowing perfectly well how much I hated and disagreed with it...but I continued because it was there ( how many times have you heard me say that....)

the quick interpretation it gave me was devastating...nothing that I wanted to hear (or read for that matter)..and by reading it only pushed further in my head these notions of animosity and despair.

so now that I have a preconceived feeling towards how my life is turning out, it will most likely turn out that way since my mind will 'want' it to happen, because that's how the mind works, once it has something tangible to get a hold of, BAM, there it is..whether good or bad you're basically jinxing yourself...if you think it...

work was incredible, in the sense that I actually made it through it all. in order to make a smile I've had to bite my lip..I've been giving the cold eye to anyone who looks in my direction...I shunned away all touch...at times I felt like I wanted just to stop, and cry..well maybe just stop...

people let me down way too much, and as a result, my life is a testament to that...