god I fucking hate people...
..when really its self-loathing I preach

ughhh, I just woke up..and it feels as if everything is out of place, weird feeling...and I've got this headache like thing where it feels like I'm drunk, but not in the good drunk sense, the overly drunk coming down off of everything type of way...but I didn't drink last night, unless someone forced booze down my throat as I napped...

I just took a poop, that will be every day this week, that's enough to piss me off

on the brightside I won a game of bingo yesterday, but the pot was split with two other people, whatever...

the internet is probably only used for good 10% of the time...I mean think about it...I guess I'm glad that I can actually say I'm in that small portion, what with trying to unite everyone through a common medium...but then I make something like this, an online journal where I rant about my eyes not being blue, and yeah, brings me back down to the scum level of society...

god, and when it comes down to it, this is just bullshit...I'm so..pissed isn't the right word, that implies that I'm uber-angry....and upset with splashes of disappointment, feelings of being let down, and utter distain for the general populous

can I tell you I officially feel like a worthless piece of trash..add in really frickin' stupid as well...and the reason, because I don't go to college...how fucking sad is that...

but what's more sad is the fact that I really won't go anywhere with my life..everyplace on the face of this ridiculous planet requires you to have been schooled with a degree in some bullshit courses..well excuuuuuuuse me!

there's too many thoughts running through my mind...and honestly, I'm about to cry

this is a totally messed up feeling and yet can't explain things worth crap..

I just try...things never amount to anything anyways, when will I ever learn...people are set in their ways and don't want to break pattern, I don't blame them..new things frighten most, look at crystal pepsi...and what really gets me, is that no matter what I've accomplished or succeeded at, I will always know my own faults, and won't feel like I've succeeded at anything, there'll always be somebody better and I'll just be a failure again...

I want to take a walk..

and coming up on some old crap posted in the abandoned xanga
Q: What do you hate?
A: What Is And What Should Never Be

I think I need to go back to sleep, never should have gotten up to begin with....close myself off to "jason-land", the real reality of life..it isn't all glamorous like you think....