Two on Tuesday

the double that was...
..but never should have been

the problem is that i care to much?

my day off, or so it was supposed to be...my drive to replenish my bank account coupled with the fact i am a nice guy, well, to the few who i actually have respect for, made it not my day off. i received two phone calls monday afternoon from two different employees needing shifts covered, ironically the same day, opposite shifts, on one of my only two days off...and because i like both employees and would do anything to help them out (hell, i'm helping one of them move into his new house) and because i am on a hot streak at work i decided to take them up on the offer...what was i thinking?

sure i may be on that gambling hot streak, that server high, taking home the big bucks on a very consistent basis for the past two weeks now..but i am forgetting at what cost..my health, my well being, more importantly my mental health and well being...the break i had monday, which was really having an afternoon off allowing me to sleep in and rest for a couple hours, was exactly what i needed in order to pull myself back into the throngs of work. soooo, picking up a double, so soon after my crazy double weekend seems like a bad move already..but i think to myself that i have nights only on monday, wednesday, and thursday....plenty more of rest periods and sleeping in til noon...i can make, can't i?

even though tuesday is supposed to be my day, it was no match for the karmatic kick me while i'm down week i've been having. i'll do my best to keep these stories short and sweet..as much as i can....my lunch shift was a shit on my face kind of shift....it was a beautiful day out so the patio was packed...of course i had the section furthest away from the patio so i was unfortunate to not have the opportunity to pick up any tables, unlike everyone else....so six covers into my shift it's now 1pm and i'm starting to do my closing sidework...yes i am finished for the day, but i am told that i cannot leave until all the entrees for the twenty top are ran out...the 20 top is not schedule to show up until 130...awesome..

2:20 the entrees are all ran out, i'm super shitty as i have just sat in the back while i've watched these jackpads running around taking care of their 15 covers each when all of a sudden the host comes up to me and asks me to take a two top on the patio...what? now? i've been pulling my dick for the past hour and a half - ok i was actually reading the waiter rant again (i find it helps me write a little better once i have that voice in my head, and that book makes that voice pop back out..whatever) so i see charles woodson on the patio as the table the host wants me to pick up...yeah, i'll take it...

sure it's 2:30 and i'm just taking a table, sure that means i'll be here til 4pm or so, sure i have my next shift starting at 4pm, sure i'll get no break, sure i'll get nothing to eat, sure that won't make me agitated for the rest of the night...well, turns out, that's pretty much what went down...except me finishing up my lunch shift at 4pm...no, instead i was doing my lunch checkout at 6pm, because that's when my last lunch table cashed out....so with the receiving of cash i ran down the alley over to jimmy johns, not really what i was wanting, but i needed to eat something...one number nine order and eaten in six minutes i was back to work, just in time to start helping out my partners on a party in one of the private dining rooms.

the night doesn't run smoothly either, i prefaced the evening's events to the manager saying, when i kill someone or put in my two week tonight, do not be surprised....the other party i was supposed to lead was running late..so they sat me in the back dining room, furthest point away from where my party will be sitting..in fact they double seat me, both anniversaries - which means i got to do all sorts of stupid shit for them, moreso than a normal table...and of course as i am mid-spiel in the first table, my ten top party is being sat...so the third person in my group took charge of that, making me trying to float between two private rooms and the back dining room...awesome...i really didn't matter, it just was what it was....the end of the night we are all wanting to get out..me especially, and our SA was also on a double too, so she was feeling it like i was - even though she did get an hour and a half break.

that's when shit one hit the fan...there was a confusion about tip out...apparently the SA felt we shorted her...as she confronted all of us in one of the private rooms we were flipping (setting up for the next table/reservation/business day) i pulled myself away saying i had nothing to do with the money, i didn't even know what the sales totals were on any of the parties, i had two tables in the back, that's all...apparently she checked our sales with the manager, and the manager forgot to deduct the $1000 add-on from our sales that were tacked onto one of the private parties for some past bill...we got no tip o of that, so we did not tip on that, makes sense right? well in the end we all gave her five extra bucks..i don't know why, but we did, whatever..

shit two was me and the no talent clown lady getting into it twice today. the first time was when i chilling at the host stand, waiting for my last guest to finish his food and pay his tab - this was my form of a break at the time, standing and watching my guest eat..when all of a sudden no talent clown comes up to me and starts to bitch about how there weren't any sets from lunch..i said "that's great, i've had 10 covers and i did a rack..go get the other guys who had 30 covers a piece" and started to read my book again. then she starts bitching about how the two opening servers said the close was last night was shitty and that an entire credenza was left empty...this is where i start getting pissed...i closed last night, we made extra sets at the end of the night until we couldn't make any more, nothing was wrong with the close, a manager even walked through checking us out...everything was fine..so i snap and tell her if she would have made her sets last night maybe there wouldn't have been a problem..she gets short saying she swears she made them..i remind her i was in section one and i never signed her out..she walked away telling me to head to the back to make more sets, no thanks, i'll stand right here...

the second confrontation came at the end of the night..by that time i was tired of everyone's bickering and bitching..i just wanted out of that building and everytime i thought i was getting close, something else had to be done...i was polishing wine glasses when she tells me i need to make more sets..again...and again i refuse, we just made four racks between the three of us, that's plenty..then she starts complaining about breaking the soda station..now she was in the right, but it was the way she said it, and kept saying it...i had been told by one of my partners that our sidework was coffee/iced tea...but left out it also included soda/cappuccino....i never looked at the sidework sheet and went off that guys word...well i should have checked....but she just kept nagging and nagging and i kinda went into a fit saying something along the pissy lines of "oh no, i'll take care of that too, why not..i just need everyone to shut the fuck up..seriously, this bitching...just shut the fuck up and i can do it..."

i'm about done with it by this point...i just can't keep on keeping on...i have senioritus it seems...but what's the next move...all i want is a permanent vacation...it'll be summer soon enough..maybe the weather can improve things....but, where?










"i'm not even supposed to be here today and frankly, i'd rather be anywhere but here right now"

Why So Difficult?

ends versus means
where's machiavelli when i need him

this month is proving to be a difficult one, but, is it worth it?

May may be the new november work wise...for some reason i am struggling to get through this month..day by excruciatingly long day..honestly, i can't even think about the next day, if i were to set my sights that far ahead and think, hey, at this same time tomorrow i'm going to be doing the same thing, i'd probably off myself...that's why i set my sights on the shorter goal....work will be over in 5 hours...then, then you can sit down..then you can relax....then you can eat...then you can escape

another day in a week where my days have been extremely rough, this monday was no different. i was stationed in section one, the head closer, great..another long night, there's no escaping that one, i'm here til after close...and knowing how my nights go, i'll be here way after close...

i was a pretty boring monday...there were a couple private dining parties, and a few other large parties scattered about..of course i was in a section where nothing was plotted...which meant i would be getting all the walk-ins...now, walk-ins aren't a bad thing, no no, they are good...businesses often plan on having walk-ins double their reservation count, and will staff accordingly...sometimes even despite the weather...walk-ins are a good thing because if you can flip your tables on a busy night, you'll more than likely get a chance at one of these non-reservation hoping for a chance fools..who inturn are so grateful that they got a table, will treat you, the server, pretty well at the end, typically.

the problem with tonight is, we have plenty of room and spaces for people...so the walk-ins will have no sense of gratitude or feelings of not getting what they want....now they will just walk in, get a table, and feel as if it is any ol casual dining experience where they can just get apps and sit there for a couple hours..another plight of the walk-in - most come in for drinks and dessert, or something lame like that..not only does that fuck with my cover count at the host stand, but it removes a table from my section for a good couple hours...you can see my sales start plummeting downwards along with my take home cash....this is how it's gonna be tonight..

i get one of the first tables of the night who go out to sit on the patio, it's a walk-in no less. it's a nice day out and i'm surprised to not see more people out on the patios along the street...where i work i have a restaurant across the street, and to my left i have three patios for a couple more restaurants - all of which are casual dining. at times i will stand on our patio and look out onto the other patios...my patio being completely desolate while the others don't have room to squeeze in any more people...i start to get a little upset, knowing i am not making money, starting to wish i was back in casual dining - oh the crazed ten table sections, running your ass off trying to do your best while you and all your tables know you are in the weeds...

but then i think of the money vs work ratio. in casual dining, like the OG, you know you will come in at 5, have tables all night long, run around getting refills on bread, pop, and other free shit..be finished by 10 or 11 and hope to walk with a bill...a lot of work with a nice reward....but where i work, that's not the case...there have only been a handful of instances at this current workplace where i have been in the weeds officially. granted i run around at a fast pace, i may duck and weave in and out of people..but that's just my nature, from driving to walking, i move fast - and others, well, others aren't fast enough.

at my current job i do hustle and bustle...but when i see the servers across the way with their eight table section running around like crazy and they look over and see me with my two tables i'll have all night..it's funny to know we will probably be making the same amount of money...and usually, i'll make more...when i start to think about that..how i'm doing less for more all on the credence i lose part of my personality and stand up straight at the tables, it's a small trade-off but the end of the night cashout doesn't lie.

i spiel my table on the patio, three businessmen all staring down into their menus, i stand at the point of the table which has me facing the patios to the left. most diners for whatever reason when you are talking or answering their questions will only make eye contact with you a few times, generally when they ask their question, then their eyes go straight back into the menu. i, like most servers, will pan their eyes off the table and stare off into the oblivion else-where..spieling for a server is second nature, we can do it in our sleep, and we probably have done it in our dreams. spieling for us is like breathing, we don't have to think about it, and so we can do that while we are doing other things...for me, removing my eyes off the table to scan what's going on around me is starting to become habit as well - i like to look at the other tables in my section, listen in on what the conversations may be, watch the cute girl walk by with her puppy, whatever..today though, i had a little server moment that was probably only worth something to me..

so while i was spieling the table i naturally went off into my own little world, i took my eyes off my table and lifted them upward, towards the patio right across from me...at that very moment a server on the opposite patio was facing me, spieling her table, and as she was spieling her head lifted off her table and she looked over at me. we continued on spieling our tables staring not at them, but straight across, memorized hand gestures flailing and all - to give the customer the illusion we are talking to them and we care..the mirrored image of the casual versus the fine, two sides of the same dynamic character, everybody needs to eat.

the night grows on....of course i get sat the last table at 10:30, on the patio, only there for coffee....AND to watch their son valet next door. Really? if i was this kid, i'd kick my parents ass...i remember these people from a couple nights ago, they did the same thing....came in right about closing time to sit and watch their son at work...look, i don't care when his shift ends, but mine is about to, how bout ya'll stop this nonsense, you're making not only yourselves, but your son, look like idiots.

i'm losing my cool at work..mainly i'm getting tired of the people i work with, for the most part. i'm tired of getting used and abused by everyone, from hosts to management - just because i am the nice guy at work who will practically do anything that is asked of me, doesn't mean to overuse those powers...tonight one of the veterans mouthed off to me...as much as she may have been in the right, she had half a valid point, she came to me with it the wrong way...and i, of course as of late, replied the wrong way...

long story short she tried scamming out of doing work as usual, tried to pawn it off on me, and after an exchange i told her, ahem, quote just get the fuck outta here, i don't fucking have time for you. leaving the kitchen to go and take care of someone else's work i passed by the manager, the same one from the night prior ironically enough, and said the same line i used the night prior, "hey, no talent clown is gonna come to you and say something, it's probably all true..i'll explain later"

i can only take so much of that place..i liked it when i was only working three nights a week there...but last week i worked 47 hours there...maybe that's what the problem is...but maybe this is all in my head as the two year expiration date is nearing as well..only time will tell...










"BOOM goes the dynamite!"

..Have Another Please?

the actual holiday..
..that just won't end...

wait, didn't i just have a long day yesterday?

my alarm is going off, i open my eyes and start grabbing at where i believe the noises are coming from..eventually my flailing is rewarded. i look at the clock and see that it's 8:35am, that means i slept through my first alarm and that was my backup, great. well it's a good thing i passed out in my clothes, more time to get ready i suppose. a good ol fashioned whore shower is all i have time for- that's where you don't actually shower, you just rub on some deodorant and spritz some cologne a couple of times and you are all set - grab my bag and i'm out the door...

it's sunday morning, the sun is shining brightly, and i'm heading back to work - it's a weekend and early enough for me to get a good parking spot today, which makes me a little happier with my disposition...ughhhh, back to work at 9am...not only did i agree to come in an hour and a half earlier, i also agreed to work the night shift tonight as well, what was i thinking last night, oh right...those illusive dollars signs...like titties on a girl..

i get to work just as the first wave of reservations start walking in the door - but it's not until an hour or later when i actually get my first table, then for what was i there so early...it was the start of how my entire day would go...

i worked in a section the was devoid of any parties, the only section mind you, with nothing larger than a three top sat in it...everybody was running around like John Wayne Bobbitt with his....you get the picture (early 90's slang anyone?) but as for me, it takes a lot to get me in the weeds...moving fast, not so much as that's just how i operate, but i was slow, had the lowest cover count, and just dicked around by making fun of everyone else..people get pissed when they are crazy busy and i walk past them casually with my phone in my hand updating my tweeter..

the rush comes to a lull, so the crew from lunch quickly puts the kitchen back in order - its amazing to see just how disheveled a kitchen can become during it's peak hours..the more war-torn the alley and kitchen become, the harder it is for servers to do their jobs..making only more of a mess...it's a wicked process that all comes down to, if you would have done it right the first time, it wouldn't be so bad now...

the doubles all get to take a break except me, i stay on, with the 'reward' of getting to take care of a ten top at 4. my 'break' consisted of me sitting down to do my checkout from lunch, while making calls to all four of my mothers, and watching my ten top get sat on camera...

from there on out my night was a bust....the first ten top racked up a bill close to 600, which may sound good to you, but i'm at a place where my average PPA is over a hundred....*whispers* that means based off of my sales i average over a hundred dollars a head, so this party basically took a shit on me..my five top turned into a three top, leaving me with a verbal tip and 9%...at this point i started pleading with the manager to send me home - i actually made the mention of getting rid of me somewhere around 2:30 when my day had already turned to shit, i had the hopes of salvaging it by calling it a night and enjoying the beautiful weather..not so much...

i swear the hosts were having a blast seating me..in the morning it was any walk-in that came off the street, no actual reservations for me...nothing but slacked jawed yokels...at the point i was blowing up i actually made the comment that i had had more foreigners and colored people in my section today than i've had in the past year, what's next, Asians?! the host hands me a ticket that lets me know i've just been sat, i go out to greet my new table, and the couple, well..they're Asian...

the manager knows i'm not having it - i'm not the only one though, most of the staff are all strung out from the shift earlier, many worked the night prior as well..something about this weekend killed everyone...i've worked 27 hour shifts, i've put in over 40 hours in three days, i've worked Halloweekends, but this weekend i tells ya...something must have been in the air..

the manager did his very best to throw me bones all night long, my cover count had to be something outrageous by the end of it all - i'm guessing like 40 - but my sales and entree count would reflect differently...people were not out to spend money in my section, not on the food nor the service..maybe they saw it in my face, maybe i was so weary i could no longer keep my 'server facade' up and it snowballed down, i don't know.

my favorite part of the night was right after i got 10% off the Asians and was told i was still on, i was at a terminal ringing in an order or something when this bitch of a hostess comes over, grabs my hand, pulls it back, as i am pecking away mind you, all to see what time it was. i, in what was later refereed to as a stone cold sober look, said,"do it again and i'll bitch slap you" then turned my head back to the terminal and started re-pecking...the only time i ever appear to be serious is when i'm pissed, go figure...just a few moments later i walked by the manager on duty and said, "oh yeah, the pregnant hostess is probably gonna come to you later about something and it's probably all true too" - she's known for her tattling on anyone for anything.

i couldn't have asked for a worse night, as if my tables weren't bad enough, the kitchen couldn't cook the food right if their lives depended on it...over cooks, under cooks, out right ignoring my message of 'NO ONIONS!'...i was about to go back there and make it myself, but no, not really. and even with all the comps, free desserts, and free wine people still couldn't open up their wallets..

it was at the end of the night, i was helping a busser clean up one of my tables as my last table were saying their goodbyes. he knew i had been having a rough night so he made the comment, "well, they seemed nice, maybe they made up for it" i laughed and said to him, "think of it like this, all is on the line with that last table..it's like it is the bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded, it's a full count...and i need a 10 run homerun in order to win...that's about where i am at" we get up from the one table and move to the recently departed table..."the wind up, here's the pitch...it's a swing" as i flip open the check presenter 'it's probably the most decent hit we've seen all night, but it's just not enough to pull this young team out of the hole this time Bob'

my real reward for the day is somehow i got by without doing sidework all day long, only having to make 1 rack of sets, and still managing to make rent all in one day..hell i've worked just as hard for a lot less...i was happy with the end results by checkout time, though i know it could have been greater, it was just the means to get there that was so troublesome....

i clock out, somehow i managed to get seven hours of overtime this week...then i remembered i also had to stay til 1:30 in the morning on tuesday..ughhh, this week has been killer, err, wrong wording...when i arrive home i immediately hop into the shower...the warm water feels like a comfy blanket..i take a seat in the tub and sigh, it's been a long day.










"i need a drink, a pair of titties, and humor....where do you fall in those categories"

Mother May I..

longest day of the year...
..felt like today

give me the strength to make it til tomorrow...

let me start this off with a nice positive note...Happy Mother's Day to all my future Baby Mommas out there...that out of the way, onto other matters, ughhhhhhhhhhh. as i tend to say, before i go into what happened on this sunday, i'll say it all started yesterday...and really i can say it started the day before that...or the day before that....there's always something prior that's for sure...

Saturday - my first day back to work from the trip to ohio..so the prior back stories are that even though i may not have worked thursday nor friday - my first days off since..weeks? - both days were chaotic and stressfull enough - and i am beginning to hate driving in a car for long points in time all of a sudden now.....to sum it all up...saturday was a really long day...i worked a double...it was decently nice out, yet the patio didn't have the pop like it has had the past couple of weeks...they called in two extra servers in 'fears of the rush' ultimately dropping everyone's cover count to about eight guests...and even though it sounds like we were standing around with our thumbs up our asses, we actually weren't....we were all keeping busy either on sidework, or random tasks the managers felt needed to be done. My favorite was when we, as in the 2 breakfast and 2 lunch servers, were given the inventory sheets and told to go at it...then about an hour or so later two other servers come strolling in to, uhh, save us...from the rush? obviously since we were doing more work on those sheets than with guests...

but despite having too many servers i never got a break and rolled right into my evening shift - though i kept my spirits throughout my entire night shift, even with what could have been a disastrous conversation, i am never serious, thus taking the more comedic side to it. i had just did my cash out from lunch and walked into the kitchen to start working on things for the dinner shift.

as i am reading the floor chart and sidework sheets a server walks up to view the items as well when all of a sudden the walrus goes off into this rant about a wristband i have on.."i didn't know you were a faggot, what's with the wristband faggot, did you just get off the court from shooting hoops, god that's gay, you move in with a homo and you turn into one?" i let the server continue with these insults and more, and just sit there..then i think by the look on my face the walrus realizes something is up, that or he just ran out of breath, and now it is my turn...i explain to him that my best friend had passed away this week, we all wore red to the funeral, and i've been wearing that wristband since his passing in memory of him. the walrus interrupts at a point and asks if i was kidding, i chuckle as i reply with "i wish i were joking, but sadly i'm not" the walrus makes a motion of hanging himself, apologizes, but tries to defend himself saying how was he supposed to know....i'm hardly ever serious so i let him know it's all ok, he did not have any way of knowing and i am not going to hold anything against him, it was humorous..and it reminded me i needed to pull my sleeve down a little further as it had worked it's way up on my arm during my first shift.

Even when a conversation got dark i still entertained myself all night with ideas for my next blog, the development of the character of "gary", and all the other random quotes from the night..it was enough to keep my mind occupied....i pooled with another server in one of the private rooms that were available for open seating...funny that my one table of 8 people spent more money than all of his other tables combined...good thing i worked the host stand to get that table in our room as opposed to some other server's section....but as the night started to wind down, so did my energy levels...it was midnight before i got to sit down for the first time all day...and that was when i went to the bathroom...that's right, i pissed sitting down i was that tired - i didn't care how emasculating it was...i needed to sit.

it was a former co-worker's birthday saturday night and she was celebrating it at the cigar bar downtown...lucky for me (or for the owners really) it is located just on the corner of the alley out from my restaurant...so i call my friend to meet me outside - this is twofold A) i don't want to go in and have 'one' drink and get suckered into staying all night long, especially after today, especially having to work tomorrow..and 2) indy still has yet to ban smoking in their bars, so i know that when i go home tonight i'm just gonna passout in the clothes i am wearing..and wreak of smoke...even if i just pop my head in for two seconds, it will attach itself to me like a ditsy blond onto a doctor...

we meet outside, talk for a bit, exchanging the latest news or gossip, talks of work, etc...she knows me to not be one of the people to have sand in my vagina when it comes to hanging out or doing things so she knows something must be up about why i can't stay for very long...then she says to me, "wow, you look tired..and i know you...you can go two days without sleep and still look a lot better than that..you do need to go" ughhh, i carry all my emotion in my face, even if it is all bottled up on the inside.

i depart and head back home, Gary greets me at the front door confused...i left work before him, yet got home after him..i remind him i am a better person than he is and made the effort to at least stop the bar to wish our friend a happy birthday...and even though i was one of few from work who did stop by, i still felt shitty for not staying out, but, that's just me and that's how i roll...no excuses, just live.

i kick off my shoes, which feel permanently attached to my feet, start to derobe, but i do not make it that far before i find myself in my bed, setting the alarm for tomorrow...even earlier time in...and in mid conversation, i fall asleep....










"there's two more hot chicks than wedding rings on that table"

Nothing

I don't have much to say
and i really don't care

just a little update so my fingers don't forget where the letters are...

i do my blogging at night..that's when i feel my creative juices are flowing the most....but right now it is 1:00pm and i've been up for about an hour..i really do not know what is going on, let alone what would make for an alright blog...

well, as most of you have probably heard, my best friend passed away on Friday, May 1st after a two year long battle with cancer. it is really sad to see someone as young as me pass...mind you this is also the very first person close to me who has passed away...the only time i have had anything come close was when my dog of 14 years died...i think the only thing that makes TJ's death a little different is because it wasn't as sudden as my dog or people in the past..sure i didn't have the date pinpointed, but as he said when he was put into home hospice, "it's close to the end my man" We all knew the time was coming soon than not, but even as we knew..most of us still weren't prepared...i'll be honest, reality hasn't settled in yet

and with the loss of a close friend, the restaurant gods are doing their damage as well. Last night i went into work, it seems like it's been forever since i worked on a monday night...probably back to a time when i was on the weekly rotations of working monday nights..i was scheduled in at 530, which i absolutely love because then i don't have to pay for parking and i can grab a spot in the alley - not to mention most of all the startup sidework is completed, but i really have no qualms with that..it's just the parking that kills me...anyways i walk into work, i see the italian mafia outside on the back dock smoking, sadly i could never know that would be the last smoke for them.

i stroll into work and go about my dressing procedures (funny as i looked back from my distraction i could have sworn i wrote 'depressing procedures') when i get rushed by a co-worker in a frenzy about something...i tell the talentless clown to calm down..apparently people have arrived for this party that i and one of the other half to the italian mafia are on..i tell no talent to breath and calm down, i just walked in, let's go out and asses the situation..as she starts huffing and puffing about people being scheduled at 5:30 i turn to her and snap "oh like you have never been scheduled in at 5:30 EVER!" ughh, i want a cas/lax night and this woman could give a stoner an ulcer.

it would shortly be revealed that the older half of the female italian mafia had been fired...she was on final final probation and she just couldn't keep her nose clean...the final straw was a blow up between her and a, well, guest at the time, at the bar in front of a couple guests...not just guests but regulars/wine locker holders...granted this guy is a piece of shit and had no business being at the bar, as he was fired from this very restaurant for being a drunken asshole - go figure...but i guess you can only take so much of a person before you explode...and she did...and in all thick like thieves instances, if one goes, so does the other....as the older of two got canned, the other threw in her apron, and they walked out together...

it will be sad to see them go, they were really talented servers..but on the other end..their attitudes towards work was appalling...i mean i hate that place as much as the next person, but these people organized the hate club..they also were on the list of people who could get away with anything they wanted...got the premo shifts, all the parties with minimums, and had an extensive call party list...knocking these two birds out opens the door for a lot of possibilities there...more shifts, more tables, and in the end, more money...

this all happening not even a week after a manger was fired, or excuse me, 'moved on to pursue other ventures'...per B Hewey..the firing rumored to have happened because of past warnings of fraternization with the staff...then the most recent occurrence of dropping baseball tickets off at the host stand for a server to pick up later...of course, none of the guys i work wit have a problem with things like that..it's the fucking woman we work with....drama drama drama....i hate having to walk on pins and needles in fears that i might say something that will offend someone, offend them enough to call corporate and me lose my job about it...fuck those bitches...i think all that's left really now is just to get rid of that no talent clown....if she were to go, wow...it'd be like we killed off the queen of the harpies and the skies would open up

and as if that drama weren't enough, as happy as i am to report that my eye has finally stopped twitching, in lieu of that i believe my sex drive has diminished drastically....i'm almost to the point to look up testosterone boosters online....but as much as i do not care for sex, having a lack of sex drive makes me feel like less of a man....but conversely, when having a raging sexually hardon, i feel like i am some piece of gary shit...no real happy medium as happy mediums generally do not exist with me...if i had some sort of a gf around like before i think it would be different....and as much as i hate commitment, sometimes it is good....

and speaking of commitment...well meh, talking about commitment isn't worth my time right now...i've said enough in this post as it is...each topic could have been their own blog, but i will finish it here, good day...









"Nothing is forever, There's got to be something better than in the middle, But me & Cinderella.."

Oh, No...Need Your Help

here we go...
playing devil's advocate...

because i'm too stubborn (and always right) to back down from things...

alright, i'm gonna propose a question to you, state some arguments, and i need for you the reader to make a fair assessment of the situation....do you think you can handle the task at hand?

so this is a response to some comments from my last blog "To My RoommateS, Plural", which was received pretty well from those that were targeted....all agreeing with my rationale EXCEPT on the case of the oven cooking, which we will call, "The Case of the Corndog"

now my argument as presented before was plain and simple...for what reasoning would someone go to the extreme of pre-heating an oven at 350 for twenty minutes (or longer depending on how long it takes between the timer going off and the food going in) and then cooking a single, sometimes two, corndogs for an additional twenty minutes...the total time of the oven being on ranging from 45-60 minutes....

the argument goes further into detail now....in my opinion, the cooking of such a small item in the oven is careless and completely absurd, and therefore any consequential resulting factors are also careless, absurd, and irresponsible..so i digress.....with the pre-heating and cooking of, say one corndog, you have a temperature change in the apartment...you have less item in the oven to absorb the heat, thus it dissipates into the kitchen and surrounding rooms, triggering the a/c to kick on, and making the power bill raise even more....

now the argument at hand here is, does the amount, size, quantity of people served matter....is in fact, a meal a meal....should one corndog not be allowed to be cooked in the oven when it is feeding one person, but one pizza for one person be allowed to be cooked in the oven....that i believe is a simple argument....with a pizza you are only given one option, oven...with a corndog you are given several options...hell, look at tv dinners, mini pizzas, bagel bites, potatoes, etc...they all give you a plethora of choices ranging from the microwave to a conventional oven....but a standard pizza can only go in the oven....believe me, if i could cook my pizza in the microwave i more than likely would...i cook everything else in there...

but also with a pizza, i more than likely am not just feeding myself..but in the event that the pizza is just for me, i guarantee i have slices leftover....and you know how i go about cooking those pieces when i want them later (if i don't want cold pizza), i put them into the microwave...why would i reheat them in the oven, that would just be absurd!

and then the other argument that gets thrown out, because just like a drowning gasps for one more breath of air this defeated argument just won't die...is the resentment for having lights on in the house...now here's the backstory...as the outside turns to darkness, i'll turn on the light above the stove - it's an open kitchen centrally located in the apartment, providing ample light from the entryway to all the way down the hall on the opposite end. in them morning, once the sun is shining on in the light gets turned off...is this not a common thing? i think in all the houses i have ever been in, stayed at, there has always been one light on in the house, typically the stove light, for whatever reason..

i beleive it to be a theft deterrent, acting as a sense of security as well....i mean, who wants to walk into their house with no lights on inside or on the front porch...it's an unsettling feeling as you enter because who knows what lingers in the darkness..anyone creeping inside has the advantage on you because they are well clad from the invicabling lack of light....also, if i were to wake up in the middle of the night and start to meander through my apartment, i don't want to walk into a wall, stub my toe, or trip over the guy stealing my tv....

now, here's the kicker...gary recently purchased an energy efficient light bulb to replace the original oven light, which is saving a lot of money, said so from the packaging...but, just to make sure i did some research on the cost of running an electric oven at 350 degrees for an hour versus running the 40watt energy efficient light bulb for twelve hours...the results aren't shocking...

the oven at 350 for one hour on average costs $.50 - and that light bulb for 12 hours, $.02 - i'd have to leave the lightbulb on for two entire weeks straight before it would meet the amount that the single corndog caused....and i didn't even add in the kicking on of the a/c or the time the oven was accidentally left on for over seven hours....but that would have never happened with the microwave....oh, how much does it cost to run a microwave, $.01 per five minutes....

so, tell me....what's right...now's the time viewers for you to make your decision, text "CORNDOG" to 3524..kidding, i'm not that advanced...leave your comments below....











"it's not a matter of money, it's a matter of ignorance and lack of consideration"

To My RoommateS, Plural

i'm not your mother..
you're not a child..

oh, it's cool..don't worry about it..i'll take care of it....

This may be the first time in history i've ever uttered the words, "i am looking forward to November" - for those of you who know me and my relationship to that month know how extreme this situation may be. and the situation i am talking about is my current living condition. and the reason why i'm actually wishing november to come now is because our lease on this three bedroom hell will be over.

now granted, it isn't nearly as bad as the living arrangements back in the days of 412 - i at least have a room here. but the follies are just about the same - living with a bunch of kids who aren't ready to take on responsibilities yet.

we tried to set up a system to make things work, after things early on started to not do just that. we divided a few chores amoungst ourselves so one person was solely responsible for that one task. i am responsible for doing the dishes - the dishes that make their way into the sink - buying the necessary products to wash with, etc. i clean and put away. Gary is in charge of the trash, taking it out and buying the bags. And Phil, well..i guess he's only in charge of buying the milk now.

as i said, i am in charge of dishes...HOWEVER, that does not mean i am in charge of cleaning the entire kitchen, or cleaning up after the messes others make after cooking. Now i will say that when i run the dishwasher i will try to take the damp washcloth and run it over certain areas of the countertop and such...but i will not be accountable for the splatter of food from their attempts at cooking. on two occasions i have cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom - gone unnoticed mind you..those two occasions are also two more than anyone else has ever done.

the last time i cleaned i striped the stove top of the drip pan thingies...i soaked them, ran them through the dishwasher, then scrubbed them afterwards...taking off 95% of the crap that was on there..also cleaning underneath those in hopes that the house would stop smoking every time we turn on the stove or oven...i inform my roommates by showing them how clean the pans are now, wishing they would give recognition later when they cook, they could tell if they spilled something...well, i guess that was foolish of me...

so phil cooks something, makes a mess, naturally, on the stove top and in the drip pan....but not only does he not clean it after he cooks...not only does he not clean it after i remove the coils from the stovetop to bring notice to the problem, but he has the audacity to say to my face 'oh did i make that mess...yeah i was drunk when i cooked..' and still not clean it...

do these idiots not realize how A) foolish they sound, and 2) how childish they act?! I'm sorry your mother or maid or whomever cleaned up after you as a child no longer lives with you..i'm sorry you were given no responsibilities and not held accountable for chores growing up..but you're on your fucking own now...seriously, man up.

and then there has been the problem with the trash...gary, as stated before, is nothing more than a child - there's no hiding it. the trash will constantly fill, over fill, and sit there....eventually gary will pull the bag out of the trash and sit it next to the can but not reline the trash can itself, saying 'oh it's not full' then it will sit there, garbage now being thrown in the bagless trashcan, on the bag on the ground, and all around the ground....maybe then the trashbag will move over to the front door...where it will sit for another couple days....by then, another trashbag is about full..and the process starts all over again...

and as for the milk thing...well, it was originally milk and eggs...and phil thought he had the better end of the chore detail...but then down the road it magically changed to just milk as the phrase, "we never talked about or agreed on any of this" was uttered....really? so gary's been getting heat for the trash for no reason because it's technically not been his responsibility because we never technically talked about it? come on....

and then there's the issue of the power bill - i really don't want to mention the headache they had me going through but i will some other time, this is what the blog is for, right? anyways, my real gripe about the power is everybody else's hypocritical gripes about the power bill...Mr Go Green Gary wants to save the planet, goes out shopping and doesn't get plastic bags, buys energy efficient shit, things i could give two shits about...but the killer is, when he's home - and even sometimes when he isn't - every light in the house is on...the classic move is for him to be in the shower, listening to the radio, while the kitchen lights are on, the TV is on, and his room lights are on..this happens all the time..mostly without the shower part..he'll come home and turn everything on..it's absolutely ridiculous...

but the best is what phil does...he's concerned about the power we use and how much we spend, yet, YET he'll be the one to, every day, preheat the oven for 15 minutes, and cook 1 to 2 corndogs for another 15 minutes.....i don't want to repeat myself, so just read the absurdity again.....you read it correctly...not a whole pizza, not a whole box of corndogs, but 1-2...and like i said, it's almost every day...something so small and simple as corndogs that can easily be cooked in the microwave taking 1-2 minutes, sucks away at our power bill for no real reason...i'm sorry but corndogs aren't gourmet cooking, so just use that microwave for reals-or better yet, two words...toaster oven.

and i know we all have our quirks, i'm only hitting on their refusal to clean and maintain a livable environment...i know i'm not perfect, my big problem is i like the apartment to be clean, to be organized, to not be a shithole, to be guest-ready at any given moment...i want people to be responsible for themselves, i want people to care in essence..and that's my problem, i always care too much....

and as i finish this up i am sure to get the, "well why didn't you ever approach them/me/us" from someone..but you know what...again, it's not my fucking job to remind you to be responsible people...it's not my fucking job to clean up after you...it's not my fucking job to raise you...to not be so ignorant...to not to want to live in filth...to not use thirty cups a week instead of reusing them....to be respectful of others...it's not my fucking job, period.

see you in november...new place....










"i'm nobody's father...and i'm for damn sure i'm nobody's bro either.."

E-arth Day?

who actually cares?
google?

so on the one day i'm supposed to hug a tree or whatever i did the exact opposite.

i suppose the opposite would be to yell at a tree, and i haven't done that yet..maybe the opposite is to ignore a tree..and i know i've done that...just walked on by like it didn't even exist, that'll get back at her for cheating on me while we were 'on a break', yeah, i bet i just ruined her day!

whoa, anyways...today was earth day or some shit and frankly, i think you can tell, but i could give two less shits about it...i try to do my part on my own, i don't use plastic bags, i used to bike and walk to work - hell i still park far away and walk..but this being forced to give a damn, no...this is how ignorance happens...you start force feeding your fucking causes down my throat and i'll go 180 on you...awareness my ass, you're just trying to make other's lives as horrible by making them succumb to your pathetic and tolerate you...jew, gays, blacks, i've had enough...

so seriously, earth day...it was somewhere in the afternoon and our class was on our hour lunch break so we headed on over to the mall's food court - what are we like twelve - not my idea...and who's ever idea it was should have been punched in the face..the firefighters convention is in town - and as much as they would like to be called the FDIC, i'm sorry, that has already been taken, try again - along with some schools deciding it would be an amazing idea to take a field trip..to down town? don't ask me what the fuck is beneficial or mentally stimulating about indy...there's no architecture worth noting, not a lot of original things remain...it's just a fucking shithole..the chicago fire should have happened here, and now!

anyways, food court...the place is packed, the lines are long..there goes our break for sure..so we all decided to stay together and we get in line for Chinese...one person makes a mention "well, we know if there's a fire we're safe" - are you fucking kidding me, i'm sure these marshalls are about to have a heart attack for the overpopulation of people in this one area...should there be a fire we would all get trampled to death..and you better believe i'm pushing you first bitch.

so as we are getting our food, to-go now, the lady asks if we want a plastic bag - as if our Styrofoam containers weren't bad enough..well, that same bitch who made the comment about the fire says yes. I am in an uproar now..."What?! are you kidding me, it's earth day and you're getting a plastic bag...what the fuck do you need it for?!" - "Well, i may have to carry it back to class" - "and are your arms fucking broke or something..how does the bag assist in the carrying of one lightweight box?" - "*no reply*

so my turn comes up - "you want bag?" - "me, oh, yes please..yes, i would love a plastic bag..in fact double bag it..i may have to carry it" said as i throw my straw wrapper to the ground...yeah, that's right....take that mother nature....i hate my real mother so you're no different!!!

but i'll let you know, it was a really nice day today...the walk back to my car (that mile) was enjoyable..and back at home i went out onto the patio with my lappy and enjoyed the sunlight while i made this blog....awwwwww

i hope everyone catches the sarcasm in this post..if not, i come off as some sort of asshole, and i really just want to come off as a clearly distinguished asshole..not any sort...









"Go green?! i look horrible in green, choose another color please"

Tired of Tires

Treading on nothing..
...it's kind of a trend..

tuesdays are supposed to be my good days, what happened?

it's a little after five o'clock and my training seminar downtown has just let out...the three ladies who are training with me have already bolted for the door, but i am slow to leave - the trainer had a ghost story to tell me, and you all know how i definitely have time for ghost stories. So after the anti-climatic story i headed on out to the streets of downtown...there's a slight sprinkle of rain coming down so i pop up my hood..there's also a chill in the air as the temperature has dropped to the lower forty's, making the rain, though slight, even worse...

but there's tomorrow to look forward to i think to myself as i scurry the sidewalk along my mile long hike to where i parked my car...the temperature is supposed to get in the 80's by friday so this is here to make us appreciate what's to come....ahhh, who am i kidding...even with the sweet, the sour will always be hated.

i finally make it to my car - i consider this my cardio for the day - and i notice my front passenger tire is low, cooooooool. Well the thing with that is yes it is low, yes i made a comment to myself on the drive to work today that it was going to need air again, but i just filled it up with air a couple of days ago....and the thing about that is...it didn't start this problem of loosing air until i checked and filled my tires when i got gas two weeks ago...and it wasn't really low then...maybe down by a couple pounds....but ever since that air filling it's been leaking like a sieve...

i gave it a peek to see how low it was...it wasn't looking good at all...so i walked around my car and opened the backdoor, and then stood there, peering in...where's my air pump? No seriously, where's my- and then in some dramatic fashion my minds clears and the camera shot raises up from me looking down aerial view, flies south across the city, pauses at our apartment complex, duh, closer in on our apartment building, duh, zooms in on our apartment, duh, then the patio closer still, duh, and then freeze frame on the airpump as it sits next to gary's bike on the patio DUH DUH!

oh, and cue the rain to start pouring down at this point..

"Ahhhh, fuck my life..well", i said trying to salvage the moment, "let's see if she can make me to the nearest gas station" - the nearest gas station that may, MAY have an airpump is another mile down the road, and of course i am willing to risk it, when else is there for me to do...well, good thing i wasn't playing russian roulette, that's all i'll say...

i get out of the parking lot and it's not even to the corner i can hear thump thump thump thump...and no, i was not carpooling with a fucking rabbit...the car, lucille, is handling horribly so i know it's all over...i pull over at the nearest, an only spot i can, another parking lot...i coast into a spot and throw it in park. 'Gee i don't remember it being that low' as i turn the corner of my car to see smoke coming from all around what used to be a tire..and rim...

now, problem...if you all remember my plight of tire problems from December of last year, you'll remember i no longer have a spare....and for those of you just joining us, i blew my spare only moments after putting it on and getting back on the road back in mid-december..

so what to do...well, let's take the wheel off, i still have high hopes, hopes that i can still inflate the tire and put it back on, just checking it every day...i don't see any rips or holes..yet..so i'm good.....i try to hold an umbrella and jack up the car at the same time...kinda hard..the car goes up, wheel comes off......looks like we are on plan C...oh, we didn't have a Plan C..because we weren't planning on the inner-side of the wheel to be shredded like wheat, coool...

Gary was actually texting me while i was attempting to remove the tire, he tells me he is downtown working and to use his car to get my tire fixed, or a new one, or something....the time is a little after 6..which means a lot of places are gonna be closed by now...but i make my mark back towards downtown using the handy-dandy iphone to locate and call tire places...

i reach the car and drive it back down to my car to pick up the tire...but where to go..i still haven't found an open tire place, well one that didn't have the cheapest, new tire for under $140...ughhhh, i remember a time when i first owned lucille i couldn't spend under $200 a tire on her...imagine trying to by a set of tires and it costing you a grand...on a retail salary..that..that's like one week of working straight...that's horrible...but back then i was 19 and a workhorse and i could do it...now it would take me half the time, but i wouldn't want to...

so i sit and make more calls, not knowing in which direction to head off to because who knows what will happen...but 7pm is approaching, and anything that wasn't closed before will be shortly soon...

i get ahold of a place, they have a new tire but suggest their other location for a cheap, used tire...the man gives me the number...and in my overzealous, please dear god state, i write it down wrong...first try no go...second try no go...wait...did he say three zeros..es you see see eee es es, that's the way you spell success...well, at least the number..they carry the new tire, 120, but he's got to check in back for a used one...i'm on hold..this is really my last chance...i don't want to spend 120 on a tire for a car i plan on driving off a cliff in the next month, i don't have time (money) for that...

he comes back and tells me he's got two in stock, i almost pee myself...i ask him for his location, his exact address so i can plug it into my iphone for directions...then i ask him til what time is he open, 7pm...i called it...and the time currently, 654..the location, the southside..the time it would take to get there...13 minutes...i pleaded with him to stay open for me, he obliged if i could make it in ten minutes or so....

i drove that little cavalier as fast as i could...i was familiar with the area, but my iphone directions actually were accurate and came in handy for once..i pulled into the lot at 7:02, don't ask me how i did it, i just did...the man whom i spoke to was really polite and beyond courteous...the whole process took roughly seven minutes and i was out the door, well, not without me giving the guy a tip - hey, i come from a tipped industry, you better believe i'll tip others who do deserve it...

it was funny, as the guy rolled the wheel out to me i dug in my right pocket for some money, as i was doing so the guy of course started to turn it down..i pulled out what i thought to be the bill i put in there earlier, but it was not..it was just a single -"oh no, that's not right...that's not enough" and i started to jumble through my other pockets to find the correct bill - to which he was very pleased with...

so back to my car, taking my time on this drive - but you think the journey is over...ohh no, not quite yet...things can't go that smoothly...just as in movies and video games...the bad guy never dies just once...

so i return to Lucille, whom i left jacked up in the air while i was away, and attempt to put the tire back on...and here we go..here's the final battle.

sooo, another sidenote....my car pulls...i was told many a moon ago by someone who did my oil change that i needed to get, oh i don't remember, checked out/replaces/something...obviously i care...tie rod?

regardless i know what the problem is i just can't name it...so the deal with the car now is, the tire won't go on the mounts...it's not high enough....so i check the jack and it's almost at it's breaking point...it's as high as it can go...i need something else to raise the suspension/wheel part higher...now normally you wouldn't have to ever do this...but when you got a car like mine...you do...is this healthy, no...could it break off while i'm driving, yes....do i really care...see the first answer...

so i try to think of how to jack the suspension up...gary's car doesn't have a jack, the spare is too small to fit underneath...and i can only hold it for so long..so through some wicked macgyver like brilliance and manipulating i was able to lift up on the rotor and mounts while kicking the tire into place...it actually didn't take me that long...i had too much adrenaline on winning the race from earlier...

so with the tire back on and the lugnuts secured i was on my way home...it was 8pm...three hours later i would return home..what a day...

"i guess it wouldn't be any more poetic to have something bad happen on my day of tues to make me blue"

"Am I Really a Bad Person?"

Really?
No, not me...

but this was the question i was asked, in all seriousness, today by my roommate Gary...

'i..i...i just don't know how to respond to this' i reply to him as i choke on the sip of apple juice i just took. you can't be serious, he can't be serious...he is serious, i can tell by the tone and that cocked-head look on his face...i understand the question, but what i am confused about is why he is asking the question....didn't i just write a blog several weeks ago about all this..i thought everything was cleared up then and there - where i thought he stood, where everyone else thought he stood, and where he actually stands in society...did this not happen?

i was so in shock and utter dismay by the absurdity that was him asking me that i had to walk away, shaking my head the entire time...of course at the time i said i couldn't even justify giving him a serious answer because i already had given one at one point...but apparently i should have....

i honestly don't know why i take the time out of my life, and out of yours - the readers - ranting about the woes and ways of my roommates, but i suppose it makes for good daytime TV. and also i suppose when shit reaches it's boiling point (which if you look is actually a really high temperature) there's nothing left for me to do...i guess it's more therapeutical for me to release on here, then to have it constantly fall on deaf or ignorant ears...

you know, i think what would happen only hours after being asked that question would suffice as a good enough answer to himself, but he probably doesn't even think about what he did...

we leave for Btown , having both a mutual night off wherein we don't have to work til 9pm the next day, a whole 24 hours without work for me, my largest amount of time off i'll have this week. so down to btown we go (oh, i should mention i didn't have any plans for wednesday night because the plans that i had weren't...enticing enough? they didn't wet the panties? all because i couldn't sell a night of chilling, preemptive cas/lax/thurs style..) so as i said, down to the town of B, for an evening of whatever - i was so self-consumed with hanging out with people and having a good time that i didn't feel a sense of regret...until we hit the road.

About half-way down i started getting the cancellation texts - it's my own fault, i mean i did ask right before we got on the road if everything was still on, to which i got replies of yes, or of course...but it's my fault, i let my guard down being overwhelmed by living in the moment. I don't have friends, i know people who can't keep promises...i think all my exes and potential exes would say it's poetic that all my friends have commitment issues....

so fast forward the night..we are at sports...gary is off being gary...trying to hunt down one of his btown girls that is on a date with someone else..so i mingle with some of the co-workers - which is odd for me seeings how i really have yet to make friends with the co-workers down there...i swear i talk more to the mexicans who bring me dishes than anyone else...so i'm talking to this one girl..she reminds me slightly of someone i know..i call out her type, making reference to her being an opera singer...to which she tells me she was ranked 14th in the state of texas...i can read them like a book...

so i'm making intelligent conversation with this girl, when all of a sudden re-enters gary and from there the conversation goes sexual, gee, who saw that coming..and this is why i hate him...he has this alpha dog complex about him...he sees me enjoying myself with someone and now all of a sudden he has to butt in and mark his 'territory'. it's like he's in some wild imaginary race with me to see who can fuck the new person first...of which i am unaware of and should i be aware i would want nothing to do with.

any and every time i start to have any interest in a new person, it doesn't have to be sexual or not, he will be there to try to get his dick in it...i'm afraid to bring any girl of mine over to the apartment when he is home...like when cpydi came for a week - nothing against her - but i was afraid he'd just walk in my room buck naked while she was in there and try to get it on with her..irrational, sadly no...this is what he does...

and it's because of these foolish ways i can't meet new people....he ruins every chance i get at making new acquaintances because he does what he does..i meet them, he pops in, trys to fuck them, we never speak again, or if we do, it's weird and they can't be around me that much because gary has made things awkward....way to go...

so what happens...he brings the girl over to the place we are staying in bloomington...that's right...not her house...not our place in indy...but becky's place - the place we have been guests at while we stay in btown - without her knowledge might i add...i've had it with the both of them by this point so i go to sleep on the couch...only to have them fool around a couple feet away from me on the other couch...coooooooool..i guess it was so bad it kept becky up in her room...i guess it got so bad becky almost came out their to get me and bring me into her room....they finished up around 7ish and she went home..i was awake for that part...

so here we are again, another blog about my 'horrible' roommate....it doesn't matter what i say anymore..it doesn't matter what anyone says..it's just not going to get through..does gary care...does gary have any consideration for other people....better yet, does gary even have a soul...all the answers are the same, and i think we all *coughahem* know....












"he says as some ironic foreshadowing, 'the motel 6 is only $30 a night..' "

Ode To My Beard

shaggy..
..and scruffy

some of the best things happen, when you learn to stop...

*originally made on march 25th*

so i was recently sick, well, still am, but i'm getting better - all that remains at this point is a cough *knocks on wood* As i was saying, sick, right...i was so sick that i missed out on work..as i'm sure you all read i slept from friday night til sunday afternoon - i hadn't been that sick since the sixth grade and i began to worry...i missed work on friday, saturday, sunday, monday, and tuesday..i was off on wednesday so my next day back was thursday at 6am...i made it to work, god only knows why, i spent more on parking than i made at work...

but the real issue other than missing work was during my sickness, i laid in bed and was pretty much dead to the world...so when i went into work on thursday, it had been 6 days since i shaved...i really didn't want to work so maybe the not-shaving was was supposed to be the fork in the microwave (what is supposed to be the analogy there...) well it worked, kinda...i still had to work the breakfast shift but was told they didn't need me for the afternoon shift...

long story over...so that was my first and last shift for the week...the following days would be filled with a trip to Pittsburgh and a wedding...next day back to work, monday morning...the entire time not shaving...honestly i would have lost it in Pitts had cpydi said it looked stupid...but just the opposite..she loved it...

so i kept it, and for the first time in the history of my life i have a beard, well, facial hair to the very least...now this is a complete change for me, and you all know how well republicans do well with change...i held onto the beard as an homage to my sickness...and the month in which i spent four times as much as i made, causing me to spiral back into debt.

but it wasn't just cpydi who liked, or even loved the beard...across the board i've received nothing but compliments..i've been called justin timberlake or even james bond? whatever..i'll take both as compliments because i know how much love from the ladies these guys get...

one major factor is it makes me look older...no longer do i look twelve..instead i look like a teenager with facial hair! so that's a positive for sure

but as i said, this is the first time i've ever rocked the face hair..soooo, i've trying to learn what's good and what's not...at first i was sporting the neck beard...then i was told to trim it up...so i'm slowly learning the ropes...it's a process for sure...

i have only received one complaint from this entire fiasco....an old friend who said she was 'used to the old, clean shavened jangus' - let it be known as this is true, she doesn't like my facial hard yet has dated guys who, 90% of the time have had facial hair...go figs....can't please them all

so how long will this last..good question....like a good woman, i'm bound to get tired of this too...in the meantime, try to catch me while you can and cop a feel











"you know you wanna touch...go ahead...the first one is free"

Get It Together

i try..
and i try..

i think it's best when i don't try

when i have something worthwhile to write about...i don't have the means to write it out....but when i sit here at the computer, all i do is stare...i'm back form laundry...my whites spotty from something in the wash...i sit on the couch and stare...i turn on the MSU/Uconn game for background noise....i figure a change of scenery will help things out.

here i go, checking all the different tabs on my computer screen again...refreshing pages..hoping for updates..i decide to put my laundry away and make my bed...gettting one task complete before starting another, right?

laundry is away, the ruined whites sit in the basket, i'll do another load tomorrow to see if the clothes are officially ruined, or if i can get those spots out...ughh, add that to the list...i return to my spot on the couch and snuggle up with my fresh and clean blanket. the game hits halftime just as my hunger hits my stomache...over to subway for a quick bite to eat

OHHH, as i type this out, i have a story, yes....subway