the actual holiday..
..that just won't end...
wait, didn't i just have a long day yesterday?
my alarm is going off, i open my eyes and start grabbing at where i believe the noises are coming from..eventually my flailing is rewarded. i look at the clock and see that it's 8:35am, that means i slept through my first alarm and that was my backup, great. well it's a good thing i passed out in my clothes, more time to get ready i suppose. a good ol fashioned whore shower is all i have time for- that's where you don't actually shower, you just rub on some deodorant and spritz some cologne a couple of times and you are all set - grab my bag and i'm out the door...
it's sunday morning, the sun is shining brightly, and i'm heading back to work - it's a weekend and early enough for me to get a good parking spot today, which makes me a little happier with my disposition...ughhhh, back to work at 9am...not only did i agree to come in an hour and a half earlier, i also agreed to work the night shift tonight as well, what was i thinking last night, oh right...those illusive dollars signs...like titties on a girl..
i get to work just as the first wave of reservations start walking in the door - but it's not until an hour or later when i actually get my first table, then for what was i there so early...it was the start of how my entire day would go...
i worked in a section the was devoid of any parties, the only section mind you, with nothing larger than a three top sat in it...everybody was running around like John Wayne Bobbitt with his....you get the picture (early 90's slang anyone?) but as for me, it takes a lot to get me in the weeds...moving fast, not so much as that's just how i operate, but i was slow, had the lowest cover count, and just dicked around by making fun of everyone else..people get pissed when they are crazy busy and i walk past them casually with my phone in my hand updating my tweeter..
the rush comes to a lull, so the crew from lunch quickly puts the kitchen back in order - its amazing to see just how disheveled a kitchen can become during it's peak hours..the more war-torn the alley and kitchen become, the harder it is for servers to do their jobs..making only more of a mess...it's a wicked process that all comes down to, if you would have done it right the first time, it wouldn't be so bad now...
the doubles all get to take a break except me, i stay on, with the 'reward' of getting to take care of a ten top at 4. my 'break' consisted of me sitting down to do my checkout from lunch, while making calls to all four of my mothers, and watching my ten top get sat on camera...
from there on out my night was a bust....the first ten top racked up a bill close to 600, which may sound good to you, but i'm at a place where my average PPA is over a hundred....*whispers* that means based off of my sales i average over a hundred dollars a head, so this party basically took a shit on me..my five top turned into a three top, leaving me with a verbal tip and 9%...at this point i started pleading with the manager to send me home - i actually made the mention of getting rid of me somewhere around 2:30 when my day had already turned to shit, i had the hopes of salvaging it by calling it a night and enjoying the beautiful weather..not so much...
i swear the hosts were having a blast seating me..in the morning it was any walk-in that came off the street, no actual reservations for me...nothing but slacked jawed yokels...at the point i was blowing up i actually made the comment that i had had more foreigners and colored people in my section today than i've had in the past year, what's next, Asians?! the host hands me a ticket that lets me know i've just been sat, i go out to greet my new table, and the couple, well..they're Asian...
the manager knows i'm not having it - i'm not the only one though, most of the staff are all strung out from the shift earlier, many worked the night prior as well..something about this weekend killed everyone...i've worked 27 hour shifts, i've put in over 40 hours in three days, i've worked Halloweekends, but this weekend i tells ya...something must have been in the air..
the manager did his very best to throw me bones all night long, my cover count had to be something outrageous by the end of it all - i'm guessing like 40 - but my sales and entree count would reflect differently...people were not out to spend money in my section, not on the food nor the service..maybe they saw it in my face, maybe i was so weary i could no longer keep my 'server facade' up and it snowballed down, i don't know.
my favorite part of the night was right after i got 10% off the Asians and was told i was still on, i was at a terminal ringing in an order or something when this bitch of a hostess comes over, grabs my hand, pulls it back, as i am pecking away mind you, all to see what time it was. i, in what was later refereed to as a stone cold sober look, said,"do it again and i'll bitch slap you" then turned my head back to the terminal and started re-pecking...the only time i ever appear to be serious is when i'm pissed, go figure...just a few moments later i walked by the manager on duty and said, "oh yeah, the pregnant hostess is probably gonna come to you later about something and it's probably all true too" - she's known for her tattling on anyone for anything.
i couldn't have asked for a worse night, as if my tables weren't bad enough, the kitchen couldn't cook the food right if their lives depended on it...over cooks, under cooks, out right ignoring my message of 'NO ONIONS!'...i was about to go back there and make it myself, but no, not really. and even with all the comps, free desserts, and free wine people still couldn't open up their wallets..
it was at the end of the night, i was helping a busser clean up one of my tables as my last table were saying their goodbyes. he knew i had been having a rough night so he made the comment, "well, they seemed nice, maybe they made up for it" i laughed and said to him, "think of it like this, all is on the line with that last table..it's like it is the bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded, it's a full count...and i need a 10 run homerun in order to win...that's about where i am at" we get up from the one table and move to the recently departed table..."the wind up, here's the pitch...it's a swing" as i flip open the check presenter 'it's probably the most decent hit we've seen all night, but it's just not enough to pull this young team out of the hole this time Bob'
my real reward for the day is somehow i got by without doing sidework all day long, only having to make 1 rack of sets, and still managing to make rent all in one day..hell i've worked just as hard for a lot less...i was happy with the end results by checkout time, though i know it could have been greater, it was just the means to get there that was so troublesome....
i clock out, somehow i managed to get seven hours of overtime this week...then i remembered i also had to stay til 1:30 in the morning on tuesday..ughhh, this week has been killer, err, wrong wording...when i arrive home i immediately hop into the shower...the warm water feels like a comfy blanket..i take a seat in the tub and sigh, it's been a long day.
"i need a drink, a pair of titties, and humor....where do you fall in those categories"
..that just won't end...
wait, didn't i just have a long day yesterday?
my alarm is going off, i open my eyes and start grabbing at where i believe the noises are coming from..eventually my flailing is rewarded. i look at the clock and see that it's 8:35am, that means i slept through my first alarm and that was my backup, great. well it's a good thing i passed out in my clothes, more time to get ready i suppose. a good ol fashioned whore shower is all i have time for- that's where you don't actually shower, you just rub on some deodorant and spritz some cologne a couple of times and you are all set - grab my bag and i'm out the door...
it's sunday morning, the sun is shining brightly, and i'm heading back to work - it's a weekend and early enough for me to get a good parking spot today, which makes me a little happier with my disposition...ughhhh, back to work at 9am...not only did i agree to come in an hour and a half earlier, i also agreed to work the night shift tonight as well, what was i thinking last night, oh right...those illusive dollars signs...like titties on a girl..
i get to work just as the first wave of reservations start walking in the door - but it's not until an hour or later when i actually get my first table, then for what was i there so early...it was the start of how my entire day would go...
i worked in a section the was devoid of any parties, the only section mind you, with nothing larger than a three top sat in it...everybody was running around like John Wayne Bobbitt with his....you get the picture (early 90's slang anyone?) but as for me, it takes a lot to get me in the weeds...moving fast, not so much as that's just how i operate, but i was slow, had the lowest cover count, and just dicked around by making fun of everyone else..people get pissed when they are crazy busy and i walk past them casually with my phone in my hand updating my tweeter..
the rush comes to a lull, so the crew from lunch quickly puts the kitchen back in order - its amazing to see just how disheveled a kitchen can become during it's peak hours..the more war-torn the alley and kitchen become, the harder it is for servers to do their jobs..making only more of a mess...it's a wicked process that all comes down to, if you would have done it right the first time, it wouldn't be so bad now...
the doubles all get to take a break except me, i stay on, with the 'reward' of getting to take care of a ten top at 4. my 'break' consisted of me sitting down to do my checkout from lunch, while making calls to all four of my mothers, and watching my ten top get sat on camera...
from there on out my night was a bust....the first ten top racked up a bill close to 600, which may sound good to you, but i'm at a place where my average PPA is over a hundred....*whispers* that means based off of my sales i average over a hundred dollars a head, so this party basically took a shit on me..my five top turned into a three top, leaving me with a verbal tip and 9%...at this point i started pleading with the manager to send me home - i actually made the mention of getting rid of me somewhere around 2:30 when my day had already turned to shit, i had the hopes of salvaging it by calling it a night and enjoying the beautiful weather..not so much...
i swear the hosts were having a blast seating me..in the morning it was any walk-in that came off the street, no actual reservations for me...nothing but slacked jawed yokels...at the point i was blowing up i actually made the comment that i had had more foreigners and colored people in my section today than i've had in the past year, what's next, Asians?! the host hands me a ticket that lets me know i've just been sat, i go out to greet my new table, and the couple, well..they're Asian...
the manager knows i'm not having it - i'm not the only one though, most of the staff are all strung out from the shift earlier, many worked the night prior as well..something about this weekend killed everyone...i've worked 27 hour shifts, i've put in over 40 hours in three days, i've worked Halloweekends, but this weekend i tells ya...something must have been in the air..
the manager did his very best to throw me bones all night long, my cover count had to be something outrageous by the end of it all - i'm guessing like 40 - but my sales and entree count would reflect differently...people were not out to spend money in my section, not on the food nor the service..maybe they saw it in my face, maybe i was so weary i could no longer keep my 'server facade' up and it snowballed down, i don't know.
my favorite part of the night was right after i got 10% off the Asians and was told i was still on, i was at a terminal ringing in an order or something when this bitch of a hostess comes over, grabs my hand, pulls it back, as i am pecking away mind you, all to see what time it was. i, in what was later refereed to as a stone cold sober look, said,"do it again and i'll bitch slap you" then turned my head back to the terminal and started re-pecking...the only time i ever appear to be serious is when i'm pissed, go figure...just a few moments later i walked by the manager on duty and said, "oh yeah, the pregnant hostess is probably gonna come to you later about something and it's probably all true too" - she's known for her tattling on anyone for anything.
i couldn't have asked for a worse night, as if my tables weren't bad enough, the kitchen couldn't cook the food right if their lives depended on it...over cooks, under cooks, out right ignoring my message of 'NO ONIONS!'...i was about to go back there and make it myself, but no, not really. and even with all the comps, free desserts, and free wine people still couldn't open up their wallets..
it was at the end of the night, i was helping a busser clean up one of my tables as my last table were saying their goodbyes. he knew i had been having a rough night so he made the comment, "well, they seemed nice, maybe they made up for it" i laughed and said to him, "think of it like this, all is on the line with that last table..it's like it is the bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded, it's a full count...and i need a 10 run homerun in order to win...that's about where i am at" we get up from the one table and move to the recently departed table..."the wind up, here's the pitch...it's a swing" as i flip open the check presenter 'it's probably the most decent hit we've seen all night, but it's just not enough to pull this young team out of the hole this time Bob'
my real reward for the day is somehow i got by without doing sidework all day long, only having to make 1 rack of sets, and still managing to make rent all in one day..hell i've worked just as hard for a lot less...i was happy with the end results by checkout time, though i know it could have been greater, it was just the means to get there that was so troublesome....
i clock out, somehow i managed to get seven hours of overtime this week...then i remembered i also had to stay til 1:30 in the morning on tuesday..ughhh, this week has been killer, err, wrong wording...when i arrive home i immediately hop into the shower...the warm water feels like a comfy blanket..i take a seat in the tub and sigh, it's been a long day.
"i need a drink, a pair of titties, and humor....where do you fall in those categories"
1 comment:
This weekend was a soul sucker all around. I don't know what it was about it... maybe the fact that everyone and their mother has been working doubles since Friday (we had graduation to contend with too)... but there was a total fuckin melt down over here. I came down deathly ill with 3 shifts to go in the weekend... first time I've ever cried (probably about 12 times throughout the course of my last shift) at work. It's in the water.
Also, I had a dream with you in it last night.
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