Conversation

bitch..
don't make me..

but instead i'm more like, what the fuck.....

So let me tell you a story about this mother fucker..this mother fuck...this mother fucker.....yeah it gets said twice..but let me back this ass up first...

Alright, so I'm at this boutique store right across the street from my house, I frequent the store often, maybe twice to three times a week depending. Now, naturally after visiting said place multiple times and seeing the same faces over and over again you start to build a nice rapport with the staff. Being new to an area I can always ask advice on where to go, get food, do whatever.

And of course, you all know me, you know how I am when it comes to talking to people, it's just what i do, it's what i've done..as shy as i've ever been all my life, being sociable is a skill i aquired at a young age...and then working in the industry is what really flared up this disease.

Anywhere i go i can start up a conversation with people..and this has always caused problems with former gfs because of the fact they think i'm "flirting" when in reality, it's just me being me; added in of course is "flirting" was my job for over 12 years and i recently broke from that...soooo get off your fucking self...

I digress. So naturally i go into the shop, make conversation, we don't detract too far off the topic of business..i do my thing, purchase whatever, and continue the conversation...then walks in this guy.

I think he's just another customer, but the exchange is different between the girl behind the desk and this new guy..as he takes a seat. Oh, i get it, they're together, ok whatever no big whoop, not a customer i'll continue talking. So then the lady asks me if I had anymore questions, which i don't, we bid our adieus and i go to my vehicle...however, on my way out the guy blurts out something that i know was said for me to hear.

"Fucking ridiculous" he says loudly, to which the lady says back, "what..what are you talking about?" - i know for a fact he's talking about me and not his day, but i want to give him the benefit of the doubt and i carry on.

I get to my car, hop inside, grab my phone from the center console and start playing catch up with texts. Now, my car is facing directly at the shop just a few rows away from it, and i notice the guy walk out..slowly go over to his truck, all the while looking over at my car..then he heads back inside..it's not but two seconds later he pops back out and starts walking again...howver this time he's not headed to his car...he's headed towards mine.

this should be good - is exactly what i say as i play with my phone not trying to pay attention to whatever the fuck is about to go down...i wait diligently then he's at my window waving, lord knows should he place a hand on my car shit would really go down. I pretend to be startled and give him a "you can't be fucking serious" look as i roll down the music with my left hand and turn down my music with my right...he begins to speak...

Guy - "Ca-can i help you?"
Me - "Ummm, no? You came to me?"
Guy - "Oh, uh, do you got something going on there.."
Me - "What?"
and before i could even finish that word he comes in with..
Guy - "That's my girlfriend in there"
Me - "Ok...???"
Guy - "We live together.....are you trying to steal my girlfriend?!"
Me - "Wait, what?! We we're just talking?"
Guy - "Oh, just talking, it looked like more than that"
Me - "??????" (yes, i said some noise that sounded like question marks) "You're joking right?"
Guy starts walking away, "That's my girlfriend....."
Me - "Sorry, I didn't know I couldn't have a conversation with someone....."
Guy - "It's ok"
Me - "Well obviously not"
guy continues walking away, doesn't respond...
mind you the guy was shaking as he spoke to me, and even backed up as i rolled down the window to greet him...

I continue texting and finalize plans before driving away...and it was about halfway to my destination that it finally hit me..and pissed me off...that fucking asshole...what the fuck was he thinking..what the fuck did he see that made him think there was more than just "talking" going on....the bitch was behind a desk..unless my penis somehow fucking grew to a length measured in yards and circled around, back behind, and all the way over to here, i'm pretty sure we were just talking..and he wasn't even there to hear what was said; tone, inflection, whatever.

Maybe that's why this insecure bastard was there to begin with...making sure his lady doesn't go home with any strangers that happen to pop into the shop. This of course is only going to make for an awkward situation the next time i make an appearance there and she's working. It will be awkward only because you know i'm going say some shitty comment like "due to your over-protective live-in boyfriend, i must cease and decist all future conversation with you. A polite "hello" will be allowed, however anything further will only give the insinuation to all those watching that my penis is, has been, or will be inside of you. you can thank you're awesome boyfriend. Sincerely, the jangus"

But honestly...i was more stunned by the situation that i couldn't really throw down at that moment...of course as the initial shock wore down, i was about to turn around and lay his stupid ass out. I can't wait to see him again.

people always seem to catch me when i'm in a good mood...consider yourself lucky.







"Don't worry 1117, i'm fucking your world up instead..i'm all smiles today"

"Am I Really a Bad Person?"

Really?
No, not me...

but this was the question i was asked, in all seriousness, today by my roommate Gary...

'i..i...i just don't know how to respond to this' i reply to him as i choke on the sip of apple juice i just took. you can't be serious, he can't be serious...he is serious, i can tell by the tone and that cocked-head look on his face...i understand the question, but what i am confused about is why he is asking the question....didn't i just write a blog several weeks ago about all this..i thought everything was cleared up then and there - where i thought he stood, where everyone else thought he stood, and where he actually stands in society...did this not happen?

i was so in shock and utter dismay by the absurdity that was him asking me that i had to walk away, shaking my head the entire time...of course at the time i said i couldn't even justify giving him a serious answer because i already had given one at one point...but apparently i should have....

i honestly don't know why i take the time out of my life, and out of yours - the readers - ranting about the woes and ways of my roommates, but i suppose it makes for good daytime TV. and also i suppose when shit reaches it's boiling point (which if you look is actually a really high temperature) there's nothing left for me to do...i guess it's more therapeutical for me to release on here, then to have it constantly fall on deaf or ignorant ears...

you know, i think what would happen only hours after being asked that question would suffice as a good enough answer to himself, but he probably doesn't even think about what he did...

we leave for Btown , having both a mutual night off wherein we don't have to work til 9pm the next day, a whole 24 hours without work for me, my largest amount of time off i'll have this week. so down to btown we go (oh, i should mention i didn't have any plans for wednesday night because the plans that i had weren't...enticing enough? they didn't wet the panties? all because i couldn't sell a night of chilling, preemptive cas/lax/thurs style..) so as i said, down to the town of B, for an evening of whatever - i was so self-consumed with hanging out with people and having a good time that i didn't feel a sense of regret...until we hit the road.

About half-way down i started getting the cancellation texts - it's my own fault, i mean i did ask right before we got on the road if everything was still on, to which i got replies of yes, or of course...but it's my fault, i let my guard down being overwhelmed by living in the moment. I don't have friends, i know people who can't keep promises...i think all my exes and potential exes would say it's poetic that all my friends have commitment issues....

so fast forward the night..we are at sports...gary is off being gary...trying to hunt down one of his btown girls that is on a date with someone else..so i mingle with some of the co-workers - which is odd for me seeings how i really have yet to make friends with the co-workers down there...i swear i talk more to the mexicans who bring me dishes than anyone else...so i'm talking to this one girl..she reminds me slightly of someone i know..i call out her type, making reference to her being an opera singer...to which she tells me she was ranked 14th in the state of texas...i can read them like a book...

so i'm making intelligent conversation with this girl, when all of a sudden re-enters gary and from there the conversation goes sexual, gee, who saw that coming..and this is why i hate him...he has this alpha dog complex about him...he sees me enjoying myself with someone and now all of a sudden he has to butt in and mark his 'territory'. it's like he's in some wild imaginary race with me to see who can fuck the new person first...of which i am unaware of and should i be aware i would want nothing to do with.

any and every time i start to have any interest in a new person, it doesn't have to be sexual or not, he will be there to try to get his dick in it...i'm afraid to bring any girl of mine over to the apartment when he is home...like when cpydi came for a week - nothing against her - but i was afraid he'd just walk in my room buck naked while she was in there and try to get it on with her..irrational, sadly no...this is what he does...

and it's because of these foolish ways i can't meet new people....he ruins every chance i get at making new acquaintances because he does what he does..i meet them, he pops in, trys to fuck them, we never speak again, or if we do, it's weird and they can't be around me that much because gary has made things awkward....way to go...

so what happens...he brings the girl over to the place we are staying in bloomington...that's right...not her house...not our place in indy...but becky's place - the place we have been guests at while we stay in btown - without her knowledge might i add...i've had it with the both of them by this point so i go to sleep on the couch...only to have them fool around a couple feet away from me on the other couch...coooooooool..i guess it was so bad it kept becky up in her room...i guess it got so bad becky almost came out their to get me and bring me into her room....they finished up around 7ish and she went home..i was awake for that part...

so here we are again, another blog about my 'horrible' roommate....it doesn't matter what i say anymore..it doesn't matter what anyone says..it's just not going to get through..does gary care...does gary have any consideration for other people....better yet, does gary even have a soul...all the answers are the same, and i think we all *coughahem* know....












"he says as some ironic foreshadowing, 'the motel 6 is only $30 a night..' "

To The Roommate, Again

Part Deux...
Part Duh...

Why did I actually think that my blogging would actually help?

Who am I to try and help a guy out, help a friend out - change comes from within and usually takes 21 times....well, I don’t have time for 21 times..and you can only change if you want to change....

Gandhi said be the change you wish to see in the world, then he killed himself...ok, not really, but that would have been fitting..somebody really needs to do that

So the blog was read by my roommate Gary after I tipped him off...he made someback-hand comment to which I replied with something along the lines with, “remember when you broke guy code and I blogged about it” granted this was two days later, everything I write about is in some sick way a bit of foreshadowing in my life...do we need to go back to one of the first blogs that got me going last year...

As I was saying, gary, while out on the in-spite of Jangus date, was tipped off by me, then phil about the blog, so he grabbed the girls computer and read the infamous article - mind you he also told her she was not allowed to read it sadly enough..

It was then and there he wanted to make a change..apparently the words I spewed out cut like a firey knife...everything I mentioned, sadly, was true - confirmed by other friends within the circle of gary....to which gary still believes not everything was completely the truth...

Regardless...he came home last night and he went straight to his room only to come out five minutes later...i was going to talk to him about everything as soon as I saw him, but I needed to finish my sandwich I just made myself - caring I know...

We talked, I had to open with a hug and tell him I didn’t hate him, I just hated what he had become, because I knew he could be so much better. He seem visibly shaken with everything, but it all came to a crashing halt when word got back to one of his most recent ‘conquests’ - EmEl - in which she was told it was probably not a good idea to be hanging out with him

*Backstory - EmEl’s friend mickee (a chick don’t worry) came over to study with me - we arrived at the apt almost the same time, which ended up being only five minutes before gary showed up..but it was within those five minutes that she got a brief rundown on where gary was - she kept true to her girl code and warned her friend...but did I break guy code by divulging too much information...again, as my last blog opened, I can only take so much before insert something here and in all respect I have been pretty faithful to guy code - given example of a message I was supposed to relay to gary about one girl in front, but it happened to be at a time when a different girl was present, I pretended as if I forgot what I was supposed to say...

so now gary starts fighting for EmEl - saying all the things guys who get backed into a corner say...she’s the one he wants to be with..but in the same breath he also states that he’s not ready to settle down, he’s “enjoying his time being single” - as if this is the first time in a long time he’s been single...NO

I can say I’ve been in a similar boat, more like a ship..and in an entirely different bed of water...he’s just so happy that he’s “on a hot streak” after being cold for so long....this wishy-washy state of wanting your cake and eating it too can only do major damage if not stopped dead in it’s tracks

We talk til 230 in the morning - I work at 6am mind you - and I think there’s some progress being made until he says the lines, “I really want to be with EmEl...she’s the one I am most interested in............i still think I’m going to fuck kooliho”

On that note...*sigh* shakes head and walks away....










"You want to have your cake and eat it too...you can't do that...and even if you're upfront and honest to the cake, you're still a fucking douchetool"