Shhhh....

This is not from my computer..little does (insert someone's name here) know, but I'm using "their" (yes I know that is bad English, but so be it) computer to make a blog post, he he he.......

You know, I'm a tall cool one, yes indeed....

speaking of tall cool ones, I was actually in Lowell the other day, god only knows what for, and I saw Mike Arlen, that crazy fucker....he looks taller, he's kinda built now, and has lost the glasses...yet is still a pain to talk to..I don't know what is up with that kid..I tried to leave like twelve times..why do I even converse with him, must be that glutton for punishment thing again...

if I ever do something brilliant like write a book or make a movie....tulips will be in there..somehow..they are so frickin' sexual....just say it, yeah..tulips....makes my mouth water....

At Target in some conversation Jenny was brought up..ohh how I miss her..I swear, if I ever get rich by some chance...I will get her back...I mean I like Lucille and all, but Jenny, Jenny was my first, she was amazing..granted we did have our difficulties, she was a bitch at times, moreso than Lucille has been..but as I have always said, I like it when people are bitchy at me....

actually going off of that thought, yeah, I like bitches, so be it right? I hate to go that far and say the word, but yeah, people who bitch in general or at me, I enjoy it..I guess it's a way to keep me inline, not letting me take any possible inch, yet I'll still try for something....I need someone to bitch at me, tell me what's up, tell me I'm not good enough...I was asked the other day why do I, and in general nice guys, go for girls who are "mean"..I explained to them what I just said....like Ashley, she's an Expo, she's defiantly a bitch, I have hardly ever seen her happy, she's smiled at me a couple times if I said something to cheer her up, but damn, she's got an attitude like no other....I get a kick out of I..maybe it's me trying to make someone happy, trying to go against the odds, making the impossible happy...who knows...I know what's up though....

wow, an actual insight into my mind.....well not totally, I left a lot to be desired, and a lot to be mis-construed...I know of a group of people who will definitely read this totally wrong....but it's my fault for typing it like I did, so I'm taking the blame now...whoops, I'm wrong, as always....

well, to learn and know what I actually think, just ask..but be prepared...don't get mad if I don't tell you things when you don't ask, or ask the right way..but if you ask..all I'll ever be is honest with ya......

and I hate lies, going off of a different topic, not the last one....if I do/have/whatever something I don't think is some people's business, I will keep it from certain people's knowledge, right? I make it my discretion who knows what....if they ask, I might reason with them..but if they go out and start making boldface lies, well then, that's when I have to uphold the truth, by not giving it away, yet swatting down the lies..hard to explain, but I'll give you an example if you ask...

alright, that's enough for now...I'm going to get some sleep..maybe have some more fucked up dreams...and maybe feel refreshed enough to take on the world and give it quits..whatever the choice may be, it's already been said and done.