Re-enlist?

Give up, or

give 4 more?

that will be the question

I'm over the half-way mark of my (first) enlistment.  The recruiters got me good for I am in a 5-year contract instead of the standard four.  The MC tries to justify the longer contracts based off MOS schooling - if you're in school for a year, that's one less year you have to spend in the fleet, and since they are spending all this time and money on you, they want to make sure they get their four.

Well, truth of the matter is, my school was 30 days.  Justification?  None what-so-ever other than its the MC screwing people at all costs.  I did not know better at the time -  wasn't young and dumb, I just thought that's how it was, I didn't know I could negotiate with the government (for one last time).

So I am stuck in my 5 year contract, in an overly populated MOS, that for some reason they continue to push people into, even though our Jr ranks are almost at 300% capacity...

I'm not a fan of this job - it bores me.  Sure it's an easy desk job, in the heart of the CoC...it's cushy, it's safe, it's behind a computer..it's the complete opposite of anything you'd think MC (i.e. grunts).

But where it lacks in 'hard work' it makes up in stupidity.

In order to get this MOS you have to have one of the highest GT scores in the MC - that means we are all smart people.  Yet, higher ups still treat us as if we just came from the special-ed third grade.  No trust, no awareness, no understanding.  To make matters worse, with the influx of people being pushed into this job, and those who joined/lat moved at the height of the war and ranked up really fast and now refuse to leave because they are up to such ranks; there is little to no promotions.

Smart people are already disgruntled, the MC says let's make them more disgruntled...

Nothing is more disconcerting than being on a deployment with people from a different shop, that you are working side by side with, who are chasing a cutting score in the 1500s...These folk are getting furious that 'if they would have done all their MCIs they would have the 20 extra points to pick up to Cpl at 1570" HOLY FUCK...I think my first composite score was around that score...

but here I am, 2 years after picking up E3, and with a composite score of 1700 I finally pick up...If my MOS isn't closed out, the cutting score is extremely high.

I remember before I picked up, having to take orders from E4s from other shops that picked up with cutting scores that were a joke.  I understand that I am older, and I've made piece with taking orders from younger people...however, where I draw the line is taking orders from someone who has been in the MC less time than I have..and the only reason they have is a higher rank is they either sucked someone off, or their MOS is a joke.

So one may ask, why not lat-move yourself when you go to re-enlist?  If I were to re-enlist, this would be my path...but, the first question remains..will I?

Since I'm over the half-way mark, I have to set my sights on what's the next hurdle - Feb 12, 2016.  That is my EAS date..either the last day I am owned by the government, or time to renew their lease on me.  As this is a year deployment, by the time I return back to my home duty station, I'll have a year left on my contract and that will be the time I'll either be putting in my package to re-enlist, or jumping through all the hoops in order to get out.

I have stated my future in the MC really depends on this deployment - some will say I cannot base deployments or the MC on this "deployment", but, when it's all I have seen, then yes, yes I can.

I've given the MC and my command years of my service and time to 'prove me another way', and they have failed to do so.  I've been lied to time and time again.  I've been backstabbed, I've had rumors spread about me, all by people who are supposed to take a grenade for me - honestly, I'd rather have the gay and short Bruno Mars have my back.

I've stated one thing that will make or break the decision will be if I get into Afghanistan or not.  In 2012 when I MEF deployed, they already had their crew who would be going out.  We were told they would do 6 and out, and others (myself) would replace them..to give everyone a chance to go.  That never happened.  Then an opportunity arose for one person to go out for about 6 months at the end of it all.  Once again I was looked over and some other douche was sent to go for some reason.

So then, as the next cycle for 2014 came up, those who were looked over and never got the chance were first in line to go this time.  As the time grew closer to chop forward and cease stepping foot in the rear office, we all were getting excited...but excitement would turn into frustration soon enough.  There was a Sgt they wanted to throw into the mix.  Their reasoning was "he's never had a deployment and we want him to be more competitive for SSgt" - and that meant he would take my place.  I did not like this.  But then there were two people were removed from the group - both on shady accounts.  One person was going through a divorce and that was their justification, the other was coming off BCP (he was fat), so they got the ax.  This allowed me to retain a place...except things would be rearranged.

I got bumped from Afghan to Kuwait, losing out an all that, a secondary rate deployment in anyone's minds.  Happy to still be going somewhere, I figured I'd be able to wiggle my way into a country that is a stone's throw away.  The last missing spot would be another "interesting" choice.   Out of everyone that was left in the office, they selected the one person who hadn't been doing the actual job..the one person who just got in from the schoolhouse...the one person who didn't know anything....the one person who wore makeup and could take a dick.

Those in charge would sit back and try to justify taking the girl to everyone around, but we're not stupid...we knew they wanted eye candy, we knew it wasn't any of the hundred reasons they would spout off..it's because she was a woman...and she would get that spot in afghan, not me...

Well, it gets even more interesting...that Sgt ended up getting selected for Staff...so when the Monitor found out he was a Staff Select filling a billet for a Sgt, he got removed from the deployment - my original fucking spot - but by then it was too late to move me back over, since kuwait and afghan deployed at different times.  So that spot ended up getting filled by a Cpl from a lower group, who just picked up Cpl a couple months before me - has been in since '09, and is EAS'ing this year...

yes, because that makes sense...have the shitbag nco who is getting out halfway through the deployment get to go on the deployment...

Getting to Afghan won't make me re-enlist, but not getting into Afghan will definitely make it a zero percent chance for me to do so.  I'm not a fucking "ribbon chaser", but it's the last time in who knows how long anybody will get a campaign ribbon.  And the MC is a pissing contest, we all know that.  And for someone to say "it doesn't matter the stack that's on your chest" is feeding you bullshit.

So basically, if I don't get into Afghan, 0% chance of re-enlistment

If I do get into Afghan, 5% chance of re-enlistment...

that's where we are...looks like I'm over it.

"so you're saying there's a chance..."

Feminists are WHOREBLE

This...

fucking...

cunt.

I hate a variety of things.  Some may say a lot of things, some may call me grumpy; whatever..I'm intelligent so a lot of shit pisses me off - ignorance is bliss.  I hate soccer, I hate vegans, but above all that, I hate feminists...

I'm sorry, let me get you to where I am...my blood is boiling over a review I just found and read on my Facebook feed.  It's from that extremely feminist website jezebel...which I had spent my entire life happy not knowing of its existence..so i read unknowing what I had got myself into.  Sure I saw the title "I Rewatched Love Actually and Am Here to Ruin It for All of You", and I thought they had something funny to say, or maybe they would pick at some minor flaws that I hoped to agree with (fucking Karl)...but no, this monstrosity of a review went over every plot, every character and just ripped it to feminist shreds.  

It is obvious the author has never been in love, knows what love is, and probably never was loved as a child, thus forming these anti-male feelings because she has daddy issues.  As much as it pained me, I read the entire, overly wordy/lengthy article, and only grew more and more hatred for this lady.

Who the fuck does she think she is?!  At first I had to double check the website as I thought it was a spoof site, like the Onion...but no, I was not being trolled, this was real life, these were someone's horrid views.  Mein Kampf was less disturbing of a read than this Feminist Centipede...

I love conspiracy theories, and pulling random shit of of books, movies, etc - I thank my highschool English teacher for allowing myself to get in touch with my inner troll...but this fucking article....this shit on my computer screen was by far the worst thing I've ever seen.

And it got me so riled up I started to say nonsensical that, I do not regret still.  I'll reiterate for you.  It's people who think like this that need to be eradicated from the Earth.  These, not even glorified to be called humans, are what kill a society; neglect it to grow, refuse it to evolve.  They are the ones that perpetuate this self-instilled hatred towards certain things.  These are psychopaths with appalling agendas that only do more harm than good.

These are the people we need to remove from society.  People that prolong this type of criticism are doing so to stay in business, to add fuel to the already burning fire...these ladles need to be removed.  My original comments were not so..nice, they were more along the lines of "it's bitches like this that need to die. I repeat, I do not regret saying these things...If the author was on fire and I had water, I'd skull fuck the remains and piss on the ashes....hell, I probably would have thrown gasoline on her as well...bitches like this are the worst thing in the world...she needs to die, people like her need to die.i would serve a life sentence for the things i would do to this bitch...and i'd be ok with it"

I still do not regret saying those things...and all the other things I rambled off while seeing red...it's only been minutes after all that commotion so it's a little hard to type when my fists are clenching so tightly.

Women like that deserve the title cunt...women like that deserve to die. I'm too angry to type now...I've worked myself into a tizzy...

The article, if you want to see what I'm talking about:

http://jezebel.com/i-rewatched-love-actually-and-am-here-to-ruin-it-for-al-1485136388

Expectations

not great..

the french version..

the one where it means everything sucks

I wrote a blog in my head last night...i was in such a mood I don't know what stopped my fingers from finding the keys.  Oh wait, probably school - though i didn't want to go -or maybe it was the packing i needed to do - lord only knows how i found the strength to do those things...and all without a nap or so much as a break in my entire day; which i would soon realize around 1130pm as a drugged feeling started to overcome my body and mind.

But regardless, i'm here now...where you ask..sitting in an airport...in indiana..because several of my plans, failed.   Yes, I over planned...I had 3 different scenarios to get me where i needed to go, and they all backfired.  Which makes me wonder, sitting here in an airport terminal for hours upon hours, leaching off the electricity or wifi, what makes it that I keep coming back...why do i return, if it's always a let down like this.

i'm stupid.  I expect things to get better, for people to learn, or mature, or grow, or something.  I expect not to be as let down in the past...i don't let the actions of the past dictate how i live my present...and maybe i'm wrong for that.

This ties into the feelings from yesterday, being taken advantage of and being let down.  You know, people wonder why I'm such a dick, an asshole, so mean, etc...it's because the times I do open up, lend the suit off my back, offer a helping hand to a friend - i'm left vulnerable, the suit gets torn to shreds, the hand gets slapped away..

that's just the way it is..

"things will never ever change"

MAYbe the Problem is ME

fuck work..
fuck you'whore..

because i want you to stop fucking me....

i'm writing this blog after getting home from work tonight, after chilling out to some rolling stones...this post could have been a lot angrier, but now it will slightly be subdued.

i used to believe in some sort of karma-esque force in the world, but believing in that shit would be like believing in a god - leaving you with the same fucking questions as any other organized religion before...why do good things happen to bad people and vice versa..why is this happening to me..etc. they say that god gives us only what we are able to handle, oh yeah, then why do people kill themselves...isn't it because they couldn't handle something in their lives; stress, a breakup, family problems, whatever - yeah, great programming there...i guess computers are a lot like people...they are programmed to do things and, i'm sure you've all had this happen before...you go to open a program, or try to do something and you get the "blue screen of death" - yeah, that's the computer not being able to handle what it should be able to and kills itself...sound familiar god?

at work i try to have a very positive demeanor about myself...i put in my 6 to 8 hours, or however how long, and i go home...i don't bring home-problems into work, and i make everyone laugh..i bust my ass..what more could be asked.....well, lately, this has not been the case....i walked in tonight and on of my associates, sean, came up to me with a big smile on his face..they talked about attitudes in pre-shift today, though i missed that because i came in at 530..so sean tells me attitudes must be getting on edge lately because even though he snaps once a week, he has never heard me raise my voice in anger or seen me in a fit of rage since he's worked there....now sean is the guy who i have had some good times with at work, even the time we had no covers from 630am til noon was still one of the best shifts worked. sean made a comment that he was gonna start wearing a shirt that said, "i'm a witness" as in he was a witness to the jangus being pissed off, lol.

i was in a decent mood tonight, i was a closer but right from the start i questioned the floor mapping. the other closer was apart of a cocktail party - not much work to be done on it, but an easy fifty bucks in the pocket...but after that she got an 8 top in a private dining room...this on a night when everyone has an 8, or 9..except me...what do i get, all the walk-ins, because other than those large parties, there's nothing left...i made the comment to my manager, the one who has watched me get fucked in the ass for the past four days, manager scott, why does no talent clown get two parties..shouldn't she get the cocktail party to start her night off with fifty bucks then take in all the walk-ins and give me, the other closer, that eight top? i got shushed..yes, i was told to stop bitching. so i walked away.

oh, did you get the part where i was closing with the no talent clown, the same person i have been having problems with for the past three days, yeah, the hits keep on coming...i do shrug that off, even if that 8 top spent more money than two times all my tables combined...but what sent me over the edge was when i had an employee come in on a date and i took care of her....i did all the little special things and such, when the discounted bill came, the male date paid, and tipped, and the co-worker ellen, never checked...when i first saw the tip i was all like, mother fuck...and kinda went on my way...but then as i rang it into the computer, it took me a minute..i wasn't able to distinguish the second number and a bartender looked over my shoulder at the paper
"man, you're doing it wrong"
"what?"
"that's shitty, what the fuck was wrong with that table?"
"that was ellen's table"
"shut the fuck up, are you serious?!"
"yeah, dead serious"
"ohhh my god"
i inputted the tip into the computer screen and ran my checkout. i grab manager scott so he could cash me out and he told me to meet him at the office...i got back there, sat and waited for a bit, then completely changed out of my uniform all the while calculating what percentage the tip was - for some reason we servers love to use the percentage system..if it ain't 20, it better be more...i figure it out and explode, who the fuck tips 12% on a discounted bill?! by the time he got back there he saw me and questioned what was going on, wasn't i the closer..i said yeah, but i don't care, i'm done, i did enough, no talent clown can finish up whenever her table leaves, we are closed. he starts getting shitty with me and i hand him my credit card receipts with ellen's on top and make the motion for him to look. as he grabs the paperwork he utters that he doesn't care and that's the last thing i can fully remember him saying, it was at that point i got the pucker face, my lips trying to crush one-another, started nodding, said "ok" throwing my arms above my head and pulling on my hair, and walked out the backdoor...through the roundabout hallway and out the receiving doors onto the dock where i planted myself

even though i recall manager scott saying, "really" and "goodbye" he chased after me outside. nothing pisses him off more than a shitty attitude, and every night we have worked together i've gotten fucked without lube, and inturn have had a shitty attitude. we talk, there's no way to resolve anything...asking someone to come in with a positive attitude day after day after being fucked by the co-workers, the management, the patrons day after day, without any drugs or alcohol is like asking gary to stop being a flirtatious retard with no direction (i stole it, it's mine now)..it just ain't happening...

after a bit we go back inside, he cashes me out and sends me home, leaving the no talent clown to finish the rest up - that's her karma kicking in...kinda....i just want to know what the fuck..ok, yes i have been making good money lately (with the exception of tonight, the streak finally ended) but i have been paying out the ass for it...the managers can't keep putting me on the parties or other people will get pissed, granted there's always been a group who always get on every party and get what they want...doing that would disturb the balance of things...

it's that time, the clock is ticking down closer and closer to that final moment and i did something stupid, it's worthy of another blog...maybe i'll tell you in, oh, three days?










"twelve percent...on a bill you already got twenty-five percent off..what the fuck?!#@!"

RANT

all bets are off...

anything goes...

fuck you and your fedora...

...if you had a fedora...



this is an old time post full of old school emotion...nice









"i'll see you in another life, when we are both cats!"

Fucking MTV!!!!
why's it got to be so hard...

and why does everything suck tonight/this morning

So after the fucking geek patrol left the rec center i had the liberty of changing the channel on the tv...just flipping through and i came across the mTV channel...a band was playing that caught my attention..they weren't anything really good, but it was synthy with a decent drum and bass beat...so it had potential...i waited patiently watching the entire video without being distracted by anything to catch the group's name..well guess what, mTV doesn't like to put the names of the artists or song title for the videos they are playing...if you are lucky they'll post it at the beginning, but that really doesn't help out that much if your eyes aren't glued onto the screen..i can be sitting here, a song will start with some slow and quiet introduction, when it finally gets going i'll look up, but the title will be fading...and then there is nothing at the end of the video...

what the fuck is wrong with the world, honestly, things shouldn't be this hard....whatever happened to waiting a few seconds, showing the title and all that jazz, and then at the end of the song, putting it up again...and there was a show once, i remember this, that had the artist name and song title up there for the entire song...what the shit people...

i even went so far as to look up on mtv.com to see if they listed the currently played videos or something like that..nope, no such luck...today has not gotten off to a good foot, and it has yet to start..











"i'm gonna throw this macbook across the room..."

This! is why I don't Post!!!
..fucking blogger...

fucking piece of shit false sense of security....

so i was typing up a blog and perusing the web at the same time, yes i know i hate to get interrupted or stop once i get going but this wasn't too vital, i was just trying to get into sync...anyways, i was looking at some videos, finding more of me dancing at CP, and one of the videos killed my browser and there it all went..all 8 of my tabs...wtf mate!?

so i re-open firefox and bring up my blogger account...go to the posts part and use the tool to "recover post" and what does it do...nothing...still a blank canvas for me to post on...wow...way to think that the recover post tool may actually work and my post may not be lost...

you know, this happened last night as well...so this just makes me really mad now...fuck this shit..











"fuck blogger....i quit"