Messy Monday...
a death wish...

So despite what I though, this may have been the most drunk I've ever been..

started off the afternoon with a little work-a-thon, not really I only had a whopping four tables yet still was able to walk out after tip out with $42. I wasn't in the best of moods, mindy tried talking to me, but I really didn't want anything to do with it.

so after work, as I was leaving, mindy walked out at the same time, she was going with Chantel for whatever reason, and told me to call her after margarita Monday..I told her I couldn't do that...so after we parted ways I sent her a text message saying I'm in asshole mode because that's what I believe I believe is the best way to get things accomplished, and that I thought it best that she leave me alone for awhile..

after that moment I was on a mission..I was home, I never took a nap, though came close at one point - while online I was pleased to see several away messages all informing others of the wondrous day is was today..so I put up my response to it all, "killing the week early and drowning the past in tequila, somewhere in the middle I will rest"..all too true in the hours to come...

I arrived at 8, as we had all planned, and I waited for others to show..it wasn't til 830 or so when Drapper came in..and again it was the two of us sitting at a large table. while we were waiting this little kid was entranced wit me, kept looking at me, until he started crying...I would call him a cocksucker later...others eventually arrived, and it was a more intimate gathering unlike last time - which was fine with me, except for the arrival of a certain someone..one who I had bit my tongue not to go off on the entire time..if it weren't for his sulking state I would have laid into him (Adam K)..

I was making the standard drunk dials, I even called ALCO for Elizabeth, whom put me through to just about everyone in the store..slightly professed my love, key word there, and continued to drink...when it came time to head out, closing down the place and all everyone ran off as I went to say goodbye to Chase, who opted not to sit with us since an old friend whom he hadn't seen in awhile was in town... we all got up, they asked if I was cool to drive..I knew I really wasn't perfectly fine to drive, but I didn't want to leave my car anywhere other than my place..

so out in the parking lot there was a struggle, as I ran to my car, chase followed me in his car, got out and tried to take my keys...as I rolled down my window to talk he reached in..again with the struggle, and in the process we hit the windshield wiper lever, and the fluid started to spray all over him. well, as funny as this was to me, I continued to do it, and it made him give up on the keys and follow me over to Yogi's (all with the help from racheal bartels)..I had really just wanted to go home, but they convinced me to go to the other bar to sober up and then drive home..whatever...so we get in..I'm there for a only a couple minutes before whatever reason unbeknownst to me, I decide to call mindy and let her know how drunk I am...instantly mad at me, she tries to keep me on the phone as she is now coming to pick me up..knowing that I fucked up, not supposed to see her again I grab my shit, say goodbye and head out home..

so I'm laying on my futon, talking to Dave, and Rahcann keeps calling me, telling me mindy had just been there looking for me, when all of a sudden the doorbell rings, but it sounds so surreal that I say it's the TV..and then Mindy is right in my face, scaring the crap out of me...so I hang up the phone and she starts hitting my head, making a comment about how that won't feel as bad as a windshield..so to get her to stop I lunge at her and bring us both crashing into the floor...at that moment I realize moving was a bad idea..so I get up and proceed to the bathroom..where I begin to vomit...

a glass of water was handed to me to drink, I ask for a straw and the TV to be put on the Cartoon Network...only one of my requests were fulfilled - that being the straw..so I continue to argue about having the TV put on the Cartoon Network to watch Home Movies and more alcohol to go with it..mindy says something about not until I finish my glass of water, so I take it from her hands and dump it into the toilet..then I proceed to tell her I'm going to break the glass..I start tapping it on the toilet as a precursor to what I will do, but a piece chips off, which makes me pull back and smash it into the side of the toilet, shattering the glass in my hands..causing cuts and me to bleed.

mindy tried to get me to get up to go with her back to her place, but I wasn't moving..she had to take Fabi home and didn't want to leave me like that..I told her to take away the glass because I wanted to cut myself with it..she thought I was joking, then ripped the pieces out from my clentched right fist. I ask for more alcohol and tell her it to be wise she remove and cleaning products from underneath the sink, I would drink those too..I even tried to choke on my own vomit, but to no avail...

she left and came back, only to drag me to bed..the entire time I told her how she shouldn't be here, how she wasn't supposed to be here..it was horrible, she called me a mess, and tried to convince me on living..

I eventually fell asleep, but we all know I would just wake up in the morning..














"What did you do to that child - I think he was looking into my soul"