who cares about racing...
..just show me your tits..
because the best has yet to come...
so my night is over at work; i run my checkout, take one last look at the lobby, and start to head out the backdoors. the everyday procedure i go through is stopping at security for them to check my bag, yes, i carry in an over the shoulder bag to hold all my belongings...i used to just leave everything in my jacket pockets, but people kept stealing all my shit...so i finally got tired and used the bag work gave me....so every day i have to make a stop and let security look inside my bag....
over time with all the stops i have made friends with security, we'll chat it up about all sorts of random things, but today would be a special day. as i enter the security doors we start conversation about the party upstairs...that's when i notice they have three blue bands laying on their desk. i ask what the different colors meant, as i have seen blue, yellow, purple, and red on various peoples in the lobby..security tells me they've just been running out of colors as they have oversold for this event by almost three times..wow. they claim it to be a madhouse up there at the party and don't recommend me going, but i cannot let this opportunity pass. so i snatch the three wrist bands and run out the door down the street to wherever my car is parked.
i made mention to gary earlier in the night about us going, he only wanting to go if he could get in for free, and i said that security would give us the hook up...and well, i turned out to be right. on my way home i gave him a call, told him to get his sorry ass out of bed and be ready in 25 minutes because we were going to the playboy party! he couldn't believe it, but in a way he expected it.
at home it takes me no time at all to shower and pick out an outfit to rock out in. shortly thereafter we head back towards downtown, towards the chaos, towards destiny. we are lucky on a night like tonight to get a parking spot close to the hotel without having to pay. we take a leisurely stroll down to the entrance and make our appearance known. of course i'm going full fledged rocker, wearing my sunglasses at night, but gary is obvious...the hotel employees recognize him right off the bat, and i think our cover is blown....and for a moment it is...i play off as if i have no idea what's going on and just continue to walk in as they question gary if he is allowed in and such...i show my wristband and they open up the velvet ropes
we're in! well, we made it past the initial security and my heart is racing a little bit more with each step i take. after a passing with the security wand we are waved to go up stairs! This is really happening, i want to scream like a school girl at an N'sync concert..i keep repeating "i'm the coolest person alive" we make it up the stair case and start to walk through the open door way to where the party is at. walking in to the room was like walking into a night club..lights flashing all around, loud music playing, bar in the middle, girls in bunny outfits on stage, people everywhere...wow, this is intimidating.
i break my shell when i see an employee i was talking to just hours ago, obviously not recognizing me i walk up to her and say, "so you must be one of the bunnies" to which she gives me a weird look and a reply of "yeah right..no, not at all, i work here" i just smile at her as i place my hand on her waist, dropping my head down to show just a little bit of my eyes from the glasses and say, "well, you could have fooled me" as i give her a wink.
from that moment it's on. i don't make it another two feet without a group of people yelling to me, in a good way. they love my look, they love the fact i am wearing sunglasses inside..yes, i am indeed that guy, BUT i am that guy who can pull it off...which is sad because i can pull off a lot of stupid things, just look at my outfit for that night....
we start walking towards the front of the party, making our way around the bar, that's when we see an employee working the bar area right behind us. we go up and order some drinks, something to get us in the chill attitude...granted it's now 1am and this party started at 8pm...so we are a little behind. i want to get on stage..i brought my travel duck with me for this very reason..sure i can take pics of people with myself in it, but it's more fun to have the duck take my place..
gary spots another employee and starts conversation...we are still not close enough for me to see how to get up on stage, if there's a line or where it begins or just what, but i know you can get on there because there's obviously people up there with the bunnies. so just as the security guy was about to leave i say, "hey, how do we go about getting on that stage? where's the line" he asks, oh you want to get up there..follow me. so he starts walking in the opposite direction and we follow..i'm confused as we are walking away from the stage heading back towards the route of which we entered, but i trust him...then in a "Goodfellas" - esque moment we go through an employee side door and start walking in the back hallways..passing employees doing what employees do behind closed doors, and then we are brought through another door which leads to the side of the stage where an actual armed officer is standing..the security gives him the clearance on us and away we were...up on stage!
so now we are on the stage, but we are off to the side..we need to get in the middle because that's where all the action is, also where all the people are. i ask gary to use his size to bulldoze through to get closer in and i would just follow..but he doesn't ever take initiative, so i down my drink then use my small stature to worm in and out through the crowd.
before i know it i'm face to face with a playmate..i start to get a little nervous about doing the photo shoot with the duck, let alone speaking to her..but once he pops his little yellowed head out everything was golden. the first playmate, stephanie, was really nice - even throughout the rest of the evening she was one of the most chill - so stephanie, loving the duck takes him and shoves him in her cleavage...if only i were that duck...from then on i was no longer intimidated by the bunnies and kept my social high rolling
i find more bunnies to shoot with..we continue to stay on stage realizing this was where all the cool people hung out..and celebrities. we met other girls who were in love with our rockstarness...but the best part came when security, along with the armed officers, came to clear out the stage...they started kicking people off the stage as deemed necessary by the fire marshal in order to not shut down the party..so i figure, well, it was fun while it lasted - but the officer comes up to me, asking to see my wristband, to which i show him, and he gives me the clearance to stay on the stage...apparently it was the blue wristbands that were the uber-VIP's, the blue wristbands which i got from security, which allowed for me to have the best night of indy..
funny side story, while the officer was clearing off the stage one of the girls i had made friends with had on a purple wristband and he asked her to leave...so i try to play it cool and ask if it's cool if i say she's with me, would the ultimate blue band be above the law..but that's when he tells me about the fire Marshall and all that jazz, shutting down the party...so then i apologize to the officer, turn to the girl, and tell her to get the fuck off my stage...priceless.
the night continues..more dancing..then three ladies on the floor come up to the stage and finger-call gary and i to come on down...they don't look worth my time, but i follow to to see where this might take us. it ends up these girls work for a radio station, to which i had a surreal moment when one of them starting talking in my ear..i swear i was listening to the radio at that point...
gary goes to get the girls some drinks and that's when it gets shady..one of the girls asks me to get the attention of some guy on stage..i'm not playing lackey..so then a little bit after gary returns with drinks he asks me for my other blue band...why's that? oh because one of the whores wants to get on stage of course...using him for a blue band to go and find another guy..women are manipulative bitches..and they just got free drinks...this is why i don't buy a drink for a girl unless i'm drunk or i care, see former...
i separate myself from gary and bitchnumber3 and do my own thing...i get lost in the sea of people on the floor, returning to the stage every now and then...then in a random chance i run up with a bunny i had yet to meet. she was alone on the edge of the stage, sitting, and dancing. so i approach her and start to make conversation...she complains that her feet her, so i pop a squat next to her and dance with her...we talk more..she loves the duck..yadda yadda yadda
after awhile she says her boss is watching and she has to get up and dance...so i hep her onto her feet and she pulls me back into the crowd. we dance. she strips off my jacket and wears it. then, she has to go, saying something came up...riight, i know how this goes, she's spent enough time with me, now she's off to play with others, got ya..
in the meantime derek hough and i become friends - he actually said he was jealous of me for being able to pull off the popped collar on the jacket and sunglasses inside...he then wore my sunglasses as he sang and then popped his collar...i told him i appreciate the gesture, but people will see him and people will see me and think I'M copying HIM! he realizes i am right and returns the glasses and pulls down on his collar.
more dancing, more singing..i swear i have to be in a hundred photos because i was center stage the entire time...it was interesting because i had no idea who these people were i was singing and dancing with...any time i met up with gary on the floor with his girl he would tell me, "uhh, do you realize you were just dancing with *insertcelebritynamehere*?!"
in my random ways, i almost got in trouble. see, the girls have these bunny ears and bunny tails..and it's hard not to go "bloop" and hit them. well the one time i touched the ears the bunny turns and starts to bitch out gary..apparently touching the costume is an offence worth getting kicked out for...wow, drastic. so gary throws me under the bus, to which she doesn't believe him, but i apologize taking full responsibility..to which she becomes all not angry and sweet with me, telling me i'm a nice guy..loves it.
it's nearing 3 and the party is about to end, then i feel a tug on my jacket as i'm in the middle of doing whatever, singing to boston? no i don't need another drink, yes my wristband is blue..oh wait, it's...her...the bunny who said she would return..pilar. she felt bad for the time away but had to get tings straightened out..but she returned...of course it was the end of the night and the bunnies were leaving...so what do i do..ask to exchange numbers...with a playmate...
first of all, who the hell do i think i am..asking for a bunnies number....i don't remember lying to her..what the...ughhh....but the worst part of it all...it worked
so the party ends, we exit the hotel when a gentlemen asks to see my duck...to put in his Maserati...so he does and i take pics..i swear that duck is actually cooler than me!by this point i am on cloud nine...and gary, his whore, and myself all go to SnS where i get a steakfrank. home by 6am..the end.
"oh my god i love me"
..just show me your tits..
because the best has yet to come...
so my night is over at work; i run my checkout, take one last look at the lobby, and start to head out the backdoors. the everyday procedure i go through is stopping at security for them to check my bag, yes, i carry in an over the shoulder bag to hold all my belongings...i used to just leave everything in my jacket pockets, but people kept stealing all my shit...so i finally got tired and used the bag work gave me....so every day i have to make a stop and let security look inside my bag....
over time with all the stops i have made friends with security, we'll chat it up about all sorts of random things, but today would be a special day. as i enter the security doors we start conversation about the party upstairs...that's when i notice they have three blue bands laying on their desk. i ask what the different colors meant, as i have seen blue, yellow, purple, and red on various peoples in the lobby..security tells me they've just been running out of colors as they have oversold for this event by almost three times..wow. they claim it to be a madhouse up there at the party and don't recommend me going, but i cannot let this opportunity pass. so i snatch the three wrist bands and run out the door down the street to wherever my car is parked.
i made mention to gary earlier in the night about us going, he only wanting to go if he could get in for free, and i said that security would give us the hook up...and well, i turned out to be right. on my way home i gave him a call, told him to get his sorry ass out of bed and be ready in 25 minutes because we were going to the playboy party! he couldn't believe it, but in a way he expected it.
at home it takes me no time at all to shower and pick out an outfit to rock out in. shortly thereafter we head back towards downtown, towards the chaos, towards destiny. we are lucky on a night like tonight to get a parking spot close to the hotel without having to pay. we take a leisurely stroll down to the entrance and make our appearance known. of course i'm going full fledged rocker, wearing my sunglasses at night, but gary is obvious...the hotel employees recognize him right off the bat, and i think our cover is blown....and for a moment it is...i play off as if i have no idea what's going on and just continue to walk in as they question gary if he is allowed in and such...i show my wristband and they open up the velvet ropes
we're in! well, we made it past the initial security and my heart is racing a little bit more with each step i take. after a passing with the security wand we are waved to go up stairs! This is really happening, i want to scream like a school girl at an N'sync concert..i keep repeating "i'm the coolest person alive" we make it up the stair case and start to walk through the open door way to where the party is at. walking in to the room was like walking into a night club..lights flashing all around, loud music playing, bar in the middle, girls in bunny outfits on stage, people everywhere...wow, this is intimidating.
i break my shell when i see an employee i was talking to just hours ago, obviously not recognizing me i walk up to her and say, "so you must be one of the bunnies" to which she gives me a weird look and a reply of "yeah right..no, not at all, i work here" i just smile at her as i place my hand on her waist, dropping my head down to show just a little bit of my eyes from the glasses and say, "well, you could have fooled me" as i give her a wink.
from that moment it's on. i don't make it another two feet without a group of people yelling to me, in a good way. they love my look, they love the fact i am wearing sunglasses inside..yes, i am indeed that guy, BUT i am that guy who can pull it off...which is sad because i can pull off a lot of stupid things, just look at my outfit for that night....
we start walking towards the front of the party, making our way around the bar, that's when we see an employee working the bar area right behind us. we go up and order some drinks, something to get us in the chill attitude...granted it's now 1am and this party started at 8pm...so we are a little behind. i want to get on stage..i brought my travel duck with me for this very reason..sure i can take pics of people with myself in it, but it's more fun to have the duck take my place..
gary spots another employee and starts conversation...we are still not close enough for me to see how to get up on stage, if there's a line or where it begins or just what, but i know you can get on there because there's obviously people up there with the bunnies. so just as the security guy was about to leave i say, "hey, how do we go about getting on that stage? where's the line" he asks, oh you want to get up there..follow me. so he starts walking in the opposite direction and we follow..i'm confused as we are walking away from the stage heading back towards the route of which we entered, but i trust him...then in a "Goodfellas" - esque moment we go through an employee side door and start walking in the back hallways..passing employees doing what employees do behind closed doors, and then we are brought through another door which leads to the side of the stage where an actual armed officer is standing..the security gives him the clearance on us and away we were...up on stage!
so now we are on the stage, but we are off to the side..we need to get in the middle because that's where all the action is, also where all the people are. i ask gary to use his size to bulldoze through to get closer in and i would just follow..but he doesn't ever take initiative, so i down my drink then use my small stature to worm in and out through the crowd.
before i know it i'm face to face with a playmate..i start to get a little nervous about doing the photo shoot with the duck, let alone speaking to her..but once he pops his little yellowed head out everything was golden. the first playmate, stephanie, was really nice - even throughout the rest of the evening she was one of the most chill - so stephanie, loving the duck takes him and shoves him in her cleavage...if only i were that duck...from then on i was no longer intimidated by the bunnies and kept my social high rolling
i find more bunnies to shoot with..we continue to stay on stage realizing this was where all the cool people hung out..and celebrities. we met other girls who were in love with our rockstarness...but the best part came when security, along with the armed officers, came to clear out the stage...they started kicking people off the stage as deemed necessary by the fire marshal in order to not shut down the party..so i figure, well, it was fun while it lasted - but the officer comes up to me, asking to see my wristband, to which i show him, and he gives me the clearance to stay on the stage...apparently it was the blue wristbands that were the uber-VIP's, the blue wristbands which i got from security, which allowed for me to have the best night of indy..
funny side story, while the officer was clearing off the stage one of the girls i had made friends with had on a purple wristband and he asked her to leave...so i try to play it cool and ask if it's cool if i say she's with me, would the ultimate blue band be above the law..but that's when he tells me about the fire Marshall and all that jazz, shutting down the party...so then i apologize to the officer, turn to the girl, and tell her to get the fuck off my stage...priceless.
the night continues..more dancing..then three ladies on the floor come up to the stage and finger-call gary and i to come on down...they don't look worth my time, but i follow to to see where this might take us. it ends up these girls work for a radio station, to which i had a surreal moment when one of them starting talking in my ear..i swear i was listening to the radio at that point...
gary goes to get the girls some drinks and that's when it gets shady..one of the girls asks me to get the attention of some guy on stage..i'm not playing lackey..so then a little bit after gary returns with drinks he asks me for my other blue band...why's that? oh because one of the whores wants to get on stage of course...using him for a blue band to go and find another guy..women are manipulative bitches..and they just got free drinks...this is why i don't buy a drink for a girl unless i'm drunk or i care, see former...
i separate myself from gary and bitchnumber3 and do my own thing...i get lost in the sea of people on the floor, returning to the stage every now and then...then in a random chance i run up with a bunny i had yet to meet. she was alone on the edge of the stage, sitting, and dancing. so i approach her and start to make conversation...she complains that her feet her, so i pop a squat next to her and dance with her...we talk more..she loves the duck..yadda yadda yadda
after awhile she says her boss is watching and she has to get up and dance...so i hep her onto her feet and she pulls me back into the crowd. we dance. she strips off my jacket and wears it. then, she has to go, saying something came up...riight, i know how this goes, she's spent enough time with me, now she's off to play with others, got ya..
in the meantime derek hough and i become friends - he actually said he was jealous of me for being able to pull off the popped collar on the jacket and sunglasses inside...he then wore my sunglasses as he sang and then popped his collar...i told him i appreciate the gesture, but people will see him and people will see me and think I'M copying HIM! he realizes i am right and returns the glasses and pulls down on his collar.
more dancing, more singing..i swear i have to be in a hundred photos because i was center stage the entire time...it was interesting because i had no idea who these people were i was singing and dancing with...any time i met up with gary on the floor with his girl he would tell me, "uhh, do you realize you were just dancing with *insertcelebritynamehere*?!"
in my random ways, i almost got in trouble. see, the girls have these bunny ears and bunny tails..and it's hard not to go "bloop" and hit them. well the one time i touched the ears the bunny turns and starts to bitch out gary..apparently touching the costume is an offence worth getting kicked out for...wow, drastic. so gary throws me under the bus, to which she doesn't believe him, but i apologize taking full responsibility..to which she becomes all not angry and sweet with me, telling me i'm a nice guy..loves it.
it's nearing 3 and the party is about to end, then i feel a tug on my jacket as i'm in the middle of doing whatever, singing to boston? no i don't need another drink, yes my wristband is blue..oh wait, it's...her...the bunny who said she would return..pilar. she felt bad for the time away but had to get tings straightened out..but she returned...of course it was the end of the night and the bunnies were leaving...so what do i do..ask to exchange numbers...with a playmate...
first of all, who the hell do i think i am..asking for a bunnies number....i don't remember lying to her..what the...ughhh....but the worst part of it all...it worked
so the party ends, we exit the hotel when a gentlemen asks to see my duck...to put in his Maserati...so he does and i take pics..i swear that duck is actually cooler than me!by this point i am on cloud nine...and gary, his whore, and myself all go to SnS where i get a steakfrank. home by 6am..the end.
"oh my god i love me"
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