lot
alright...so it's the new year and i've shat on all my resolutions it seems....
i need to get back in the habit of doing this.....like for reals....i know i keep saying that, but my intentions are good..i suppose. now that there isn't much going on in my life, i should have all the time in the world to do something...but that's the funny little thing about life..when i was working two jobs i would have killed to have more time off to do things...then i had one job and did less things..and now i have a job i work two days a week and do nothing but sleep, grab my tits and stare at my ass all day...i don't have the motivation for things that i could care less about...or wait, things that are trivial, or...things that...i don't know
so let's start blogging again - despite those who may stand in my way - and let's do more...i started hitting the gym on a regular basis before the year ended...but now it's sporadic and inconsistent...i need to start doing that again...you know i was told, or overheard, or something one time that said, "it's funny how you stop doing all those little things you used to do for yourself once you get someone else in your life" now i'm not blaming cpydi's visit for my gym attendance going down, but it's true, when you start adding more variables into the equation, something's gotta give...
i wanted to "be nicer" this year - get your laughs in now...you know that shit didn't last long at all...the problem i have is that people be stupid...i have no tolerance for people because i know what they are capable of. i expect top notch performances out of them everytime, sure people fail and make mistakes, that's what makes us human, but it's the ignorance that really gets under my skin. when people do shit that pisses me off, i think i take it to heart, and my way of dealing with it is letting them know how pissed i am, i don't come off nicely...
for example...my douchetool of a roommate gary is responsible for the trash...let me go on record right now and say he's the one who gave himself this responsibility, i continue. now when the trash gets full...it sits..and gets fuller, as in overflowing...then eventually the bag gets removed and placed next to the garbage can...but no bag replaces the old one....so then trash gets thrown into the can, and all around the old bag...*(side note, on two occasions we have actually taken all the trash and piled it up around his bedroom door so he could get the hint to take it out)* i see no reason for the lack of action and naturally i get pissed...he defends himself saying, he'd take care of it when he got back from *insert random place like gym or work or eating* so my offense goes on and start making shity comments...my counter-defense is that taking care of the trash is a chore NOT to be completed when it is convenient for you, but rather when it is needed. it's not like cleaning out your room which only effects you, this is something that ripples down to everyone...you couldn't just stroll into your 4pm shift at 515 because you were out doing other things..no, work is a chore, taking out the trash is a chore and you will jump when they give out the orders....what an asshole...
but then, here i am, i'm the asshole because i just called someone out on something, called then an asshole, made them look like a doofus..i guess i have no tact for confrontation when things get in my opinion, retarded.
i don't know where my high standards for others came, i hold high standards for myself, i know what people are capable of, i know what people should do, or at least what i think i know what people should do..greater good and all that shit, and i just hate it when people can't excel to that level...
i try to make people better themselves all the time as well....even though in the end i realize i just bring out the worst in everyone. if i see someone has a sincere desire or passion to do something, i turn into little motivator larry (ok, i just made that up, i don't know what i am talking about with that name...) i think it stems from the fact i have no passion, i don't know what i want, so i live vicariously through other people...wanting them to reach their goals with a little help from me, giving me a sense of accomplishment...
like the chick on the cruiseship who envied me for writing everyday, i kicked her in the ass and got her going..that's all people really need, a little bit of a motivational kickstart and they are on their way....it's like in physics, sure you may only need x amount of force to keep an object moving consistently, but that initial push is greater than the minimal continuing force..all because of the coefficient to static force....wait, when was i last in physics...
i helped a girl a week ago, i think...she doesn't have a driver's license and has never really driven a car. when she has, it's always been just practicing with someone who doesn't have the time..well, i've been told i have the patience of Job, or a saint, or something meaningful like that...of course, the way i help it's always impromptu...the person then feels on the spot..but i feel that this is best for the lesson...if that person can really trust you, then there should be no problem with the teaching..i have the patience, just listen to me...once the person tries to give up or says they can't, i lose my patience and become a bit more aggressive..like when i told her to park in the handicapped spot and she said no and tried to exit the car - with a lean over onto the brake pedal i put it back into drive...she parked the car in the end....
i guess if it's one thing i can do, it's make people feel comfortable around me - feeling comfortable gives way to a sense of trust whether false or real it's apparent none-the-less...i've always heard the best pictures come from when a client feels comfortable with the photographer..that's partially why i thought i would always do well in that field..
i guess that's why people fall in love with me so fast too...feelings of comfort...feelings of trust...the close intimacy...
well, my mind sucks right now so i'm taking a sleeping pill to clear the conscious....
i need to get back in the habit of doing this.....like for reals....i know i keep saying that, but my intentions are good..i suppose. now that there isn't much going on in my life, i should have all the time in the world to do something...but that's the funny little thing about life..when i was working two jobs i would have killed to have more time off to do things...then i had one job and did less things..and now i have a job i work two days a week and do nothing but sleep, grab my tits and stare at my ass all day...i don't have the motivation for things that i could care less about...or wait, things that are trivial, or...things that...i don't know
so let's start blogging again - despite those who may stand in my way - and let's do more...i started hitting the gym on a regular basis before the year ended...but now it's sporadic and inconsistent...i need to start doing that again...you know i was told, or overheard, or something one time that said, "it's funny how you stop doing all those little things you used to do for yourself once you get someone else in your life" now i'm not blaming cpydi's visit for my gym attendance going down, but it's true, when you start adding more variables into the equation, something's gotta give...
i wanted to "be nicer" this year - get your laughs in now...you know that shit didn't last long at all...the problem i have is that people be stupid...i have no tolerance for people because i know what they are capable of. i expect top notch performances out of them everytime, sure people fail and make mistakes, that's what makes us human, but it's the ignorance that really gets under my skin. when people do shit that pisses me off, i think i take it to heart, and my way of dealing with it is letting them know how pissed i am, i don't come off nicely...
for example...my douchetool of a roommate gary is responsible for the trash...let me go on record right now and say he's the one who gave himself this responsibility, i continue. now when the trash gets full...it sits..and gets fuller, as in overflowing...then eventually the bag gets removed and placed next to the garbage can...but no bag replaces the old one....so then trash gets thrown into the can, and all around the old bag...*(side note, on two occasions we have actually taken all the trash and piled it up around his bedroom door so he could get the hint to take it out)* i see no reason for the lack of action and naturally i get pissed...he defends himself saying, he'd take care of it when he got back from *insert random place like gym or work or eating* so my offense goes on and start making shity comments...my counter-defense is that taking care of the trash is a chore NOT to be completed when it is convenient for you, but rather when it is needed. it's not like cleaning out your room which only effects you, this is something that ripples down to everyone...you couldn't just stroll into your 4pm shift at 515 because you were out doing other things..no, work is a chore, taking out the trash is a chore and you will jump when they give out the orders....what an asshole...
but then, here i am, i'm the asshole because i just called someone out on something, called then an asshole, made them look like a doofus..i guess i have no tact for confrontation when things get in my opinion, retarded.
i don't know where my high standards for others came, i hold high standards for myself, i know what people are capable of, i know what people should do, or at least what i think i know what people should do..greater good and all that shit, and i just hate it when people can't excel to that level...
i try to make people better themselves all the time as well....even though in the end i realize i just bring out the worst in everyone. if i see someone has a sincere desire or passion to do something, i turn into little motivator larry (ok, i just made that up, i don't know what i am talking about with that name...) i think it stems from the fact i have no passion, i don't know what i want, so i live vicariously through other people...wanting them to reach their goals with a little help from me, giving me a sense of accomplishment...
like the chick on the cruiseship who envied me for writing everyday, i kicked her in the ass and got her going..that's all people really need, a little bit of a motivational kickstart and they are on their way....it's like in physics, sure you may only need x amount of force to keep an object moving consistently, but that initial push is greater than the minimal continuing force..all because of the coefficient to static force....wait, when was i last in physics...
i helped a girl a week ago, i think...she doesn't have a driver's license and has never really driven a car. when she has, it's always been just practicing with someone who doesn't have the time..well, i've been told i have the patience of Job, or a saint, or something meaningful like that...of course, the way i help it's always impromptu...the person then feels on the spot..but i feel that this is best for the lesson...if that person can really trust you, then there should be no problem with the teaching..i have the patience, just listen to me...once the person tries to give up or says they can't, i lose my patience and become a bit more aggressive..like when i told her to park in the handicapped spot and she said no and tried to exit the car - with a lean over onto the brake pedal i put it back into drive...she parked the car in the end....
i guess if it's one thing i can do, it's make people feel comfortable around me - feeling comfortable gives way to a sense of trust whether false or real it's apparent none-the-less...i've always heard the best pictures come from when a client feels comfortable with the photographer..that's partially why i thought i would always do well in that field..
i guess that's why people fall in love with me so fast too...feelings of comfort...feelings of trust...the close intimacy...
well, my mind sucks right now so i'm taking a sleeping pill to clear the conscious....
1 - If you were to die today, would your life be complete?
2 - well, yeah, I mean, I’d be dead, I couldn’t do much after that...
1 comment:
You could have gone to the gym without me! I wouldn't have minded.
:)
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