OK, Cool Dude, Thanks

the out,

of all outs

ever in a jam, just recite that phrase

It was March 31st in the turning millennium 2000, the infamous Pity Party was walking through the mean streets of downtown Chicago, just leaving the Art Museum, a staple for Chicago Tourists, we were approached by a pan-handler, as many there are in DTC.

We all did our part in dis-acknowledging the man, except one member...he mistakingly took the pamphlet and tried to carry on about his way.  You see, that's how they get you, force something into your hand, then expect a hand-me-out in return.  We were all the wiser and less sensitive by not sticking our hands out and grabbing the tri-fold paper for a dollar.

So as we tried to walk away, more importantly, as Hines tried to walk away, the 'homeless' man was in pursuit, trying to get something in return for a worthless sheet of paper.  As we walked the man kept talking, pestering...yet Hines was oblivious to this; and kept saying, "ok, cool dude, thanks" trying to blow him off....little did he know he broke the cardinal rule and took that paper, thinking it was free.

This went on for a few minutes, along the stretch of sidewalk, before the man started to get irate, his voice loudening to a point that all made us feel very uncomfortable.  Finally, I had enough of the situation, ripped that stupid piece of propagandist paper from Hines hands and returned it to the angry fellow, calling out to 'now go' to my vacuous comrades...and we did, all the way to the vehicles.

We mocked Hines for the longest time about his innocent, obliviousness to the situation, often calling out his now trademarked catch phrase "cool dude, thanks" at random times....but, over time we come to realize just how brilliant of a phrase that really was.

It's really a universal sentence, able to be utilized in various scenarios.  Whether oblivious, unwanted, or simple apathetic disdain, that phrase can be a life saver.

I think I've adopted the more asshole version of the phrase, of course.  When someone has pissed me off with their horrible lack of logic or understanding and keep pressing an issue, that phrase it uttered in such a sarcastic, disparaging tone...most of the time repeated during any pause of the logicless assailant's discourse.

Sure, it usually pisses that person off, but, you're not saying anything harmful..in fact, you're being polite (what with the thanks and all)..you're agreeing (ok)...it's the most innocent rebuttal possible, and most of the time the conversation ends there...victory being yours of course.

I forgot just how powerful the phrase was until I had to use it yesterday...may have lost an acquaintance in the process, but, it's whatever.

"its like he's a broken record"

Silent (K)Night

Get it..
silent letter..

getting the silent treatment....

Oh hey, there you are, didn't notice you - oh, you've been here all weekend..waiting for an update..shoot, I guess you wanted an update about as badly as I wanted to be acknowledged, your presence will suffice....

This weekend wasn't uneventful and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something going on or blog worthy material (and we know i don't like to lie), rather it's the question of what should be said. Fear that prying eyes will just mock my every word, laughing it over with friends and colleagues from afar, all the while i once again pour out my heart and soul into something i do for myself and those who care.

I thought about a blockade, limiting my online presence, taking time off - and well, we see how far it got me...i figure why should i put myself out there for all (her) the world to see when i sit here with bated breath on a response from emails sent her way...it's just not fair.

You know, I do have a lot to talk about, and holding it back would just be silly. If one (she) really cared enough to still read these blogs then the words that fall onto the screen are nothing but old news, repeated emotions, holding onto where I stand..

So read on if you so desire, and I'll continue to write. Read every word over again for the first time, and I'll continue to stand beside them til I die. Now is not the time to be silenced; I shall be heard, for every word I write is honest and real..

and shutting me up isn't gonna make all this any less true...






"So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll
I'm very sorry, baby, doesn't look like me at all
I'm standing by the window where the light is strong
Ah they don't let a woman kill you not in the tower of song"

The Write Structure

emotionally charged..
..positive writing?

that's a chemistry joke...get it? like..electrons=emotions...nevermind...

I do my best to write as often as I can...most of the time I want to write I am in no place to do so, no access to a lappy or the internet, or I just do not have but a few seconds, hardly enough time to sufficiently adapt my thoughts to words...

But every now and then comes a time when the stars align; I have the time, the lappy, the internet isn't being a bitch, and last and most important piece falls into place...not just something to write about, but something I'm charged up and wanting to write about.

Just like an athlete, a fighter, a warrior, or someone in a life or death situation gets that sudden surge of adrenaline flowing through their bloodstream which allows them to accomplish superhuman feats, thus is the same for my writing. I know not every day I write is a masterpiece, because not everyday I'm filled with that raw emotion..a lot of days are just blah...but then, something happens, something to get my blood flowing and my fingers pecking..those are the moments when greatness occurs.

However just like redbull gives you wings, it also sends you crashing back down to mother Earth once that sugar rush is over..what's leftover is a slow, lethargic ass dragger of a corpse. Same goes for the writing. I try my very best to stay on topic, to stay on the 'larger' picture or topic, and I do so for a good three-quarters of my rant...but then, the emotional push I had breaks down the flood gates and the real story starts to come out...the last part of the blog post becomes personal, relating back and revealing the subject that brought about the general topic. I start to lose focus, and the once brilliantly crafted piece of work starts to fall apart, in a very similar fashion of that infamous runner (Chris Legh) collapsing at the finish line...

The harmonious structure that once was is no longer; the final words meshing together just as if there was a four year old attempting to play the piano..I apologize for all this. I try to keep everything on track, but the very emotions that made the whole post possible is the same bit of discourse that destroys it.

I hope you all understand this and can bare with me in the future..







"letting my emotions show through means letting my guard down, then you're vunerable to anything...even shitty writing"

Something That Should Be Said

because nobody dares to question certain groups..
...because that would be racist/bigot/etc

something i posted the other day...


WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS NOT MEANT AS ANY FORM OF DISRESPECT OR HATE...IN ALL ACTUALITY IT IS TO CAUSE AWARENESS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

That being said, please, do not comment if you're going to be a jerk.


I do not support the wearing purple thing that's going on today, not because it's about homosexuality, but because in a nutshell, it's ignorant. How many children get bullied every single day for various things: wearing glasses, eating glue, having a bad haircut - do you not think those kids don't commit suicide? End bullying altogether, not because some gay killed them self, but because bullying is bad in general. Care about the real fucking issue always, not when some minoritol group gets attacked..it's reverse discrimination when we start catering to people because they are different all the while neglecting everyone else..

but my point is this, when kids were getting bullied and committing suicide before, nobody gave two good fucks about anything...all of a sudden a homosexual commits suicide for being bullied and the world stops. So is the point we are trying to make is, ohh, i don't care if you get bullied or picked on for being different..unless that difference is your sexual preference (which, although is wrong, is still not a legal union in most of these states) We are trying to be sooo PC that we are really going backwards. It goes the same way for race. Example: White kid gets beat up by a black kid=whatever. Black kid gets beat up by white kid=hate crime...because we are putting these labels and causing these concerns we are only perpetuating the differences, the stereotypes, the hate.

I am not trying to be a dick about it, as my random bits thrown in would tell you how I feel about current legislation..but, I just feel it's very selfish on the gay community's behalf. The gay community has the month of June as gay pride month, usually (and intentionally) having the big parades on Father's Day - then they just had a day a couple of weeks ago, coming out day - to which i also made a comment about...

in a nutshell, there's no "i'm straight day" or "i like oranges day" - it's as though every bit of the gay community's life is being forced down our throats, to the extent and extreme as comparable to religious holidays

And sure, cyber-bullying is now largely popular..but again, where's the national awareness, the banners, T-shirts, or an anti-cyber-bullying day..again, there's not

Today is all about "anti-bullying gays" when it should be "anti-bullying" in general

picking people out of the crowd and singling them out, their issues, and trying to make us "all aware" only causes more problems..it's like saying, "don't press this red button"...somewhat. my point is, make this an anti bullying day instead of an anti bullying gays only day

if they want to be inclusive as a whole in society, they need to stop making groups/petitions/etc based on exclusivity. it's selfish to tack on the cause to every other little cause and call it your own.

Again, I in no way am trying to offend anyone with these comments, please understand that, I support you, but I also support causes that make sense while supporting the big picture without alienation or tacking on ulterior motives

my problem is within the community itself - it's like kids getting bullied is ok, but kids getting bullied deserves a special day...being straight and knowing it is fine, but coming out gets a day...soon it'll be like having cancer is ok, but being gay and having cancer gets a day or being gay and stubbing your toe gets a day.. i'm not trying to be a dick or cause more problems, i am trying to cause awareness that EVERYONE gets bullied and THAT needs to have it's day of support..without ulterior motives

Yes the gay community has a lot of hate thrown it's way by the government, the churches, etc but that movement to change all that is happening...now in fact. (Let me remind you that only 28 countries recognize Same Sex Unions.....out of 196. The US isn't the only pricks in the matter for all of those hating on the US..Lily Allen I'm looking in your direction....)

And the only mistreatment i see, is the fact that the LGBT movement keeps getting pushed down my throat "We're queer, we're here, we ain't going anywhere" i get it, i support it...but what i won't support is this media/holiday blitzkreig that has been going on. If there was a magic button I could press that would make people more ok with the LGBT community, make same sex unions legal, and make all this LGBT propaganda go away, I would push it in a heart beat. Everyone has problems, everyone has issues no matter what kind of person they are...women had to fight for rights, blacks had to fight for rights, and now the LGBT community has to fight for rights..i get that..i'm just really sick of the selfish propaganda as much as they're probably sick of the hate..the street goes both ways my dear...I'ma let you do your thing, just don't get in my face about it...

ever wonder why people hates the Jehova's witnesses...same principal.

To conclude, the recent suicides made national attention and brought awareness of kids being bullied. If everyone in every community would have seen this as an opportunity to end all bullying that would have been great. We could have had the "Anti-Bullying Day" and still worn purple in memory of the homosexuals who lost their lives that made us all aware of the extremes that is bullying. But wen you go an ad one little word into that day, it changes everything.

What happened with those kids sucks, what happens with ALL kids being bullied sucks. Instead of addressing the BIG picture of bullying as a whole, the gay community kept it an exclusive thing, and what I'm saying is I don't think that's right or fair. It's not fair to everyone else being bullied. Plenty of kids go through their lives, mainly in school, getting called names for things they have no control over. So what if they have glasses or red hair or whatever. the point is people are people, in the end we are all the same .

Bullying is wrong, domestic abuse is wrong, discrimination in all forms is wrong...

End the Hate.








"It's an objective observation, and I'm sorry that I wasn't swallowed up in the propaganda and wanted to stand for ALL equality and against bullying on EVERYONE."

to KAT

the anonymous..
and the confused...

Dear Kat, you sound like a delicious little dish - your prose and witty response reminds me of Amber..but you're not...just some fiery hell cat that i definitely have time for...

anyway, thanks for not breaking 'guy code', but seeings how you are a chick i don't think that applies, so the curtain of anonymity you are donning can be removed.

i think, Kat, you may have gotten the wrong idea behind my blog, and i will try to clarify any misunderstandings - i know it's a story and there's the old literary saying, if you packed it you meant to take it with you, but this time the author will try to communicate what was supposed to be conveyed the first time.

my 'teachings' as we will call them were more-or-less confidence boosters. i was more about the art of opening a set, breaking the ice, the initial interaction; as opposed to the latter potential or possibility part of the process, getting into the pants in this case...whatever happens after "Gary" opened a set and 'negged' or "dhlv'ed" is out of my hands..i was merely trying to get him to talk to women, show him they all don't bite (at first) i am all about meeting new people, making new friends, sharing stories, etc...there's a way about talking to people when you are out...whether the intentions are, well, whatever, it really doesn't matter..there's certain things to provoke certain actions, whatever...the hardest part for most, is really the simplest, saying hello - starting the conversation...

i thank you Kat for trying to relieve me of my guilt, but, in all honesty, i don't think i'm entirely to blame, i'm just one person - granted one person could be your guru, or messiah...i'm here just trying to help others out as best as i can...

now if it's out of my hands, why do i care about him womanizing or playing...because that's not what i taught him, and following what i said about helping others, i feel as if i should steer him on a better path...of course, who am i to say what is right and wrong, especially in pertaining to another person's life..who am i to tell them they can't fuck as many women as possible, or do drugs, or stick their finger into an electrical outlet...i'm nobody's parent (yet). but isn't that what a friend does as well...isn't a friend someone who holds similar values or beliefs - maybe goals or a certain lifestyle...whatever it maybe, you keep close those who want the same quality of life as you want...so maybe it's a test to see where Gary stands...should he want to continue with a destructive lifestyle and disregard any help from his friends, wouldn't we just toss him to the wayside?

i'm not even sure where i am going with this anymore....all i was trying to say in the blog was, yes, gary has been that guy on a lot of occasions..but he doesn't want to be..and i know he can not be..it's just this "hot streak", as he lovingly calls it, that he is on is really the death of Dr Jekyll...

do we have an intervention...are these blogs and comments helping to reverse the process of forever becoming Mr Hyde....just what do we do - tell all the girls he's fooling around with to stop talking to him? how effective would that be...Gary is a danger to not only other women at this point, but in a greater sense, to himself...once someone gets that 'i'm single and i can do whomever i want' bug in them, it's hard to get it out..

there's a whole other side to gary you may not be familiar with, and even though it wasn't good for him then, i'd almost rather have it back presently...but, from a psychological standpoint, the transgression between the two is an easy lapse really....as i was saying, gary was prone to fall in love with any girl that gave him the time of day...in his last relationship his workplace took bets to see how soon he would say the dreaded words "i love you" to the girl (i won with 2 weeks)..

it's just clingy insecurities....and now that he has throngs of women hanging off of him he feels as if he has succeeded in something, finally, in his life...back to the highschool comment...we could go further with this, but this blog is long enough

so longblog short; my teachings were really a guide to meeting people, they weren't meant for or responsible for gary hooking up with many women, maybe gary is that guy, and if so, what, if anything, should be done about it..do we just sit idly by and watch it all happen...do we allow gary to play the game, only to get burnt in the end by another player...just what should be done so that he is not a 'frail, insecure little man' anymore?

it's getting late and i was tired four hours ago...this day, like this blog, has run on long enough without any constructive direction...goodnight.








"it's just like in karate where they tell you 'what we teach you here is meant as a last resort'"