OK, Cool Dude, Thanks

the out,

of all outs

ever in a jam, just recite that phrase

It was March 31st in the turning millennium 2000, the infamous Pity Party was walking through the mean streets of downtown Chicago, just leaving the Art Museum, a staple for Chicago Tourists, we were approached by a pan-handler, as many there are in DTC.

We all did our part in dis-acknowledging the man, except one member...he mistakingly took the pamphlet and tried to carry on about his way.  You see, that's how they get you, force something into your hand, then expect a hand-me-out in return.  We were all the wiser and less sensitive by not sticking our hands out and grabbing the tri-fold paper for a dollar.

So as we tried to walk away, more importantly, as Hines tried to walk away, the 'homeless' man was in pursuit, trying to get something in return for a worthless sheet of paper.  As we walked the man kept talking, pestering...yet Hines was oblivious to this; and kept saying, "ok, cool dude, thanks" trying to blow him off....little did he know he broke the cardinal rule and took that paper, thinking it was free.

This went on for a few minutes, along the stretch of sidewalk, before the man started to get irate, his voice loudening to a point that all made us feel very uncomfortable.  Finally, I had enough of the situation, ripped that stupid piece of propagandist paper from Hines hands and returned it to the angry fellow, calling out to 'now go' to my vacuous comrades...and we did, all the way to the vehicles.

We mocked Hines for the longest time about his innocent, obliviousness to the situation, often calling out his now trademarked catch phrase "cool dude, thanks" at random times....but, over time we come to realize just how brilliant of a phrase that really was.

It's really a universal sentence, able to be utilized in various scenarios.  Whether oblivious, unwanted, or simple apathetic disdain, that phrase can be a life saver.

I think I've adopted the more asshole version of the phrase, of course.  When someone has pissed me off with their horrible lack of logic or understanding and keep pressing an issue, that phrase it uttered in such a sarcastic, disparaging tone...most of the time repeated during any pause of the logicless assailant's discourse.

Sure, it usually pisses that person off, but, you're not saying anything harmful..in fact, you're being polite (what with the thanks and all)..you're agreeing (ok)...it's the most innocent rebuttal possible, and most of the time the conversation ends there...victory being yours of course.

I forgot just how powerful the phrase was until I had to use it yesterday...may have lost an acquaintance in the process, but, it's whatever.

"its like he's a broken record"

Blogger Life

Jen..

you..

in?

Yes. My blog is hosted by google, the blog is written in blogger, bought out by google, and the email address that is attached to this blog is run by google. That being said, every now and then I will receive email notifications from google about my blog; mainly, when people are brought to my site because they google searched something.

I typically no longer give notic

e to these emails after seeing a disturbing trend in them. Apparently there are a lot more sick people out there in the world, and I was just made light of the situation. Most of the hits my blog gets are from people searching "kids in tighty whities" (this is sure to get me even more creepy hit results now...fail).

Now immediately i know what you are thinking, there are two questions posed here, and I'll answer one. Why does my blog come up as a result for that creeptastic search? Well, it dates back to a post somewhere around 2004? It wasn't even a real post but one of those stupid online quizes I much so loved to post when I had nothing else to say...However, the real questions remains...why are people searching that stuff?! I feel dirty just for being in association with it.

However, all this leads me up to another story. This morning I awoke to the sound of my alarm on my phone going off. And as I do every morning, I dismiss the alarm, which opens the phone, and I see all my nightly notifications - texts, facebook, emails, etc. I use these notifications as a waking up method, checking and dismissing them, deleting, until they all go away..hopefully gaining some awareness in the process, making my rise a little more loose. This morning I was blessed with one of the google update emails about my blog. And in my fumbling process wherein i continue to miss the trash can button with my finger over and over I read more and more of the email. This weeks searches caught my idle eye.

It seems as though if one were to search "fucked his daughter in the ass" not only would my blog show up, but it would be the number 1 hit - of course I think for hilarity it should be number 2, but let's not get anal about it. Of course the post it references was back when I went to court for my dog, which is also an infamous post that still leaves a certain someone a little unsettled. Of course this is my morning delight and I share it with the world via my twitter. Naturally, one of followers is offended, which of course just so happens to be the person of which the post is about. This, as you can probably guess, starts a fight - if there's one constant in my life, it's that the things I say get me in trouble...today is no different, even if they are new words speaking of old words.

my readers comment to my tweet stirred up my wit, as i responded with a sly monty hall proposition. You see, this reader wants that amazing post deleted, removed, erased from existence; and as all of you know by now, I am not one to just edit myself (unlike certain people who try and photochop their lives to fit whatever emotion is the current trend that day for them) So I suggest that I'd be more than willing blot out the blog post should one pass on the papillon. This does not go over well as you would imagine, and results in another chirping attack proclaiming the reader has paid me for the dog and is therefore theirs..true, but again, that was after the courts decreed proper ownership was mine..but you know what, I paid my dues to host that post, so I guess if she wants to buy that post as well she can too do.

I offered a compromise on a stance I typically don't move on, I thought I was being a good guy, but that's the problem with being real, people really don't like it. I post, and I don't correct - like i always say, this is a one time sit and rant style of blogging..i won't go back and edit things for my approval, and I sure as shit won't do it for yours. What I felt then was how I felt and it remains in the past..unless you try to kick up that dirt. Sure you can try and delete those comments, posts, pictures, and everything else that built your little world up at the drop of a hat because you lost your god damned mind..but it doesn't make it from ever existing...and though you try to block out those details and hide in the dark, the light of truth burns like a thousand eternal suns...but you are no Eloisa..

What has been seen cannot be unscene; what has been felt cannot be unpenned, what has been willed cannot be unquilled.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot."

What's the Fuck

how..
and why

it all started going wrong...

First let me apologize for kinda getting emotionally involved in the last post. It's not like me to allow myself to become apart of the post...normally I write about random topics that were talked about around me, things I notice, or whatever...I try not to let my current situations become the topic, but in my last post I did just that...the latter half was derailed by my current life and took you down a path that I didn't mean to go...and I think I'm about to do it again.

Today didn't have to start out as bad as it did, there was just something in the air I guess. My alarms went off at 9, as I had set them early for today, for whatever reason. Sadly, my mind-despite it being the morning and not functioning-can tell that it's "too soon", and so I'll go back to sleep. I did that this morning. Luckily I awoke only 15 minutes later, but really could not bring myself to get out of bed...I just didn't want to face the day.

But alas, I awoke. It was cold, but not as cold as yesterday..well, only speaking of the temperature..as for the rest of what I would endure, much colder.

While on break at my favorite nook in P'Bread I encountered my first problems of the day. For starters the internet was slower than normal..and normal is already painfully slow..like we are talking dial-up slow. today, simple pages were not even loading. A problem that was resolved on my third hour of my break..leaving only 30 minutes left. Which was about the time I was dealing with my second issue, my car, well cars. This one fagot who fucked me over on an ebay transaction a year ago, still having yet to make it up to me, I contact, in hopes they want to remedy the situation...that's a no-go. They block me from their site and do not allow me to send them messages now...awesome. The other issue is I'm still waiting on a part from Japan that was ordered over 2 month ago...best part is, after finally snapping, I make 2, yes two, phone calls and locate the part in the states..they'll have it by thursday. I love doing other people's job for them.

Then it was time for work...I won't get into the details, just know that I was very displeased by the floorplan and layout for the evening. At one point the chef, with whom I like, was asking me why I was so pissed, which got into a 'heated' conversation - not between us, but got me fired up -to the point where I yelled out, "If they are trying to push me out they need to grow a pair and tell me to my face they don't want me to come in, and I fucking won't" Yeah, that pretty much sums it up right there.

Anything and everything was fuel added to my fire as well. One of my friends has been "really wanting to see me" for quite awhile now. Come to think of it, I don't know when the last time we saw each other was, a year?..best part is, we live in the same city...Now I continue to preach this, I am leaving in X amount of days, if people want to see me before I go, come to me. Give me a time, a date, a place, and I'll do my best to make it so. It doesn't seem that hard...but people keep telling me to come to them. Slap.In.The Face. Think about it..."Oh I really wanna see you, please let's hang out soon...followed by...hey i'm going out with friends meet me here" Look, if I was a priority, we'd be hanging out. People can talk and talk, but cannot support with. Like I've always said, I can tell you I will give you twenty dollars, that I want to give you twenty dollars, but until I give you twenty dollars, it just isn't fucking so. If you want to see me, you're going to come and see me. I got shit going on, yes I know that everybody has shit going on...but I think, in this instance, this scenario, my life changing plans going down in 19 days are a little bigger than you going through your life routine.

I get home and continue a Facebook status comment war I have going on with one of my friends on the alter ego account...I guess the guy was seriously mad or something while I was just joking around (of course) and he makes one last remark to which I try to reply to..uh oh, can't do that...wait..where did his name go..unavailable content..that mother fucker...I was blocked. So I sent a message out to him from my other, real account. Again joking, he again makes the last comment, then blocks me...I know awesome people.

but then, probably the thing I am most upset about, came shortly after that...you know, when it rains, it pours right? I really don't want to get into all the nitty gritty of it, however, I just don't know what to do, about anything anymore.

They say perception is reality..literally what you think to be true is true to you. How you see something is how you see it, the world, whatever. If someone perceives me to be an asshole, then, to them, I am an asshole. Whether it's true to the world or not isn't so much the case, that person, in their world, has made me the character of The Asshole. Now granted, overwhelming opinion can put values back into people and things, sway other's opinions, etc., people can alter their perceptions.

I'm not one to persuade people to think differently of me, and maybe that's a fault of my own, but that's not how I do things. If you hate me from the get-go, fine, that's your own shitty fault for that, maybe I rubbed you the wrong way, wronged you in a past life, whatever..I'm not going to force myself on you (physically or mentally) maybe after time I'll grow on you, maybe I won't, but I'm not going to try and make you think differently of me.

And maybe that's me picking the wrong fight to lay down for, because I mean honestly, I'm a kick ass awesome person, you should want to get to know me. But that does not mean I will not be effected by how you view me, how I make you feel...most of the time I upset people I intend on doing just that..it's when I "innocently" make people feel a certain way that I never intended on, that's when I become upset, let down - by myself. If all I am trying to do is love you, and you think all I like you for is your looks, I'm doing it wrong. and that's when I'll fight...maybe not necessarily fight to change how you feel, but to get to the root of what I'm doing that causes you to feel like that. (Yes I understand people can go bat-shit crazy for a moment and be afraid or feel things that are not really warranted..it happens, but you can't take this route out in an excuse for how you make someone feel)

I think this is one of my best moments of clarity I've had..you can't force yourself onto people and expect them to change...you can't chase down that crush and constantly throw yourself at them, all this will get you nowhere...you need to address what you are doing that they are perceiving. Like I said, get to the root of the source...don't tell them they are wrong for feeling that, convince them with actions, not words.

All this said, I don't know what I've done wrong..and people can sit and say all day, "it's not you it's me" and I'll still take it to heart. Whatever I did to today to make it so mad at me I do not know. I hate ending on feelings like this, because, as someone else goes to sleep, I stay awake...so it's not really an ending at all.

Even when I think I'm at my best, somebody sees me as my worst.









"If I ever say I want to work here again, shoot me in the fucking head - Don' worry, I know you won't be back"

Pro-Noun

NOT more important
NOT any better

it should be fair across the board dammit!

So, in light of one of my more recent postings I became under fire for my arguing with a professor, mainly calling me out as being "lazy because i don't capitalize my i's" This is true, I, for the most part, will not capitalize my i's...it's not because i'm lazy, it's just that i've never done it.

When I gets capitalized on my assignments it's because Word automatically corrected it for me, thanks Word. But when i type on here, there is no auto-correct, so 90% of the time the i sits there all lower-cased and shit. The times i do capitalize my I is because it's almost been instilled into me, and depending on the time of day, if i just did homework, wrote an email, etc, then the capitalization bug is still with me.

but let's take a logical look at it for just a moment, shall we? Or maybe I should say, shall We? Oh wait, no, that's incorrect...another other pronoun, be it: we, us, they, them, it, he, she,you does not get any capitalization..what the fuck is up with that?! "I'm sorry but we do not get any capitalization, but if you stand right over there I will..."

What kind of pretentious mother fucker made that rule?! Some self-absorbed asshat was like, damn I'm so awesome that when I talk about myself in the first person using a pronoun THAT too should be capitalized...next thing you know, that person started talking in the third person just to prove more of a point of their doucebaggery...

you know, walt whitman said funk all that and didn't even care to capitalize the letters in his own name.....though i cannot find reason as to why he didn't..no time to investigate..continuing on..

anyways, i'm not a fan of capitalizing the i...it's not lazy, it takes my hands off from the very important keys..shift...fuck shift...it's allll the way over there in the corner...oh shit..there's two of the fuckers, that's how unimportant they are! they want you to use them so badly they'll put the stupid keys all over the damn place...give me another function key, two delete keys, something i'll actually use....my fingers have no time to press two keys at one when the outcome is only a larger letter..that's what CAPS is for...

CAPS IS FOR ANGRY!










"you know, when i is capitalized it just looks like a fucking lower case l..."

Don't Say That..

no no no...
this is NOT contradictory..

this is a public service announcement and you should heed warning....

Right off the bat I'm gonna sound like a prick, i'm gonna sounds contradictory, i'm gonna become my enemy upon typing these keys..So instead I'll sit in the matinee and tell you about all the boys i hate, all the girls i hate, all the words i hate, how i'll never be anything i hate...bear with me.

I hate goodbyes. See, I knew I was going to get that response...yes, yes, I have ALWAYS said, say goodbye...and yes, I want people to say goodbye. When people are leaving in the morning, or whatever, say frickin' goodbye (except for that one time I asked a person not to say goodbye, so in my head it never ended..ahh, memories..) but say.the.words. I've gone on hating enough people for not saying goodbye, but I suppose there is a fine line.

Goodbye is final, nothing cuts like a knife moreso than 'goodbye' - especially when that word is said in haste, said abruptly, said in anger. So it's not so much the word I hate, it's the context of which it is used...I hate the person's reluctance to deal with the situation, their abandonment of the situation...

Why can't people just say what's on their minds, like me? LOL But seriously, more would get accomplished, there would be no awkward situation, there would be no argument, no stupid emotion like how I'm feeling right now...

All my life I stress that people be honest with me, people tell me what is up...after that I expect the truth from them..when I start to question them and they reassure me, then I cannot question anymore because then I'm a dick, I'm not trusting them like I should be. And that is wrong.

Maybe i'm taking it out of context, maybe i'm reading more into than i really should...maybe CAPS DOESN'T MEAN ANGRY...but perception is reality...

this, sadly, is my reality.








"CAPS MEANS ANGRIES!"