Them's Fighting Words..

what are ya...

...chicken?!

The troubles of ordering a twenty piece...

"At least I'm not a rapist!" is suddenly shouted over any other drum conversation, cheering from patio, bad music playing at this party. It's that scene in the movie where it drowns out everything, shuts up everyone, stops everything, even the music skips off track. It echoes...it echoes

Let me pause here for a moment. Those of you who know me, know I do not deal well with being attacked - physically, I can hold my own...but when it comes to words, it always leads to the physical. As "good" as I am with my words, it's not my preferred method to turn to. Sure, words have gotten me out of fights, but they have equally gotten me into them.

And just like Marty McFly, I cannot back down from certain provocations - funny how a character in one of my favorite movies of all time (all time!) learns his lesson, which should be the lesson we all learn from watching, but me..a big pile of 'nopes' is what you get.

I come from the south side of Chicago, chi-ca-ghetto - the heights, and sure it may not have been as bad as other areas, it was still an area wherein my elementary school practiced bomb threats and school shootings more than we did fire drills...and this was before it was "cool."

It was where men settled their differences like men; if you had problems, you solved them. That was the law of the land, the way things were as kids, the way things should still be today. People didn't hide behind things like the internet and police protection - wherein the law enforcement is actually protecting the wrong individuals, as seen in my plight with the O-city efftectives on Wednesday....or kinda like how SoCaliJoshi was first to talk shit, and yet when I confronted via messages how we could settle our discrepancies in person, he was quick to tell me how he was going to print out our conversation and take it to the police..charge me with harassment or threats or some other bullshit.

These later generations are producing more and more internet shit-talkers and bullies, yet, their flame war on their keys is as hard as they'll ever hit something. So keep on doing what you're doing, hiding behind those anorexic pictures, maybe one day they'll be man enough...

People will argue this with me, but I see nothing wrong with a good old fashioned fist-to-cuffs...I'm not saying you can't ever talk shit out - me the believer in communication - but sometimes, the only way to put someone in their place, is putting them there with a little physicality. I was spanked as a child, shit hurt, I'll do the same to my kids, I don't care what the law says..again, society going soft, creating soft individuals.

I've been in my fair share of fights..I've tried to get out of fights, I've tried to start fights, it's life. I'm not some wild hooligan that's always looking for a fight..wherein the slightest thing will set me off...Heck, even certain times I've been provoked I have walked away, it's just the timing or situation I guess.

Like this one time I was with my girlfriend and some angry guy was yelling at me in a parking lot - short story, his girlfriend was driving down the wrong way and I made no effort to get out of the way as it was clearly my aisle, may have even swerved close to teach them a lesson about paying attention...regardless. So this hot-head doesn't like my innocent lesson and decides he wants to take things to another level...he's cursing me out, running through cars and aisles trying to get to me as my girlfriend and I approach the store..

In response I do yell back things such as "Alright" "ok" "whatever" to show I have no interest in him or his cause. Well, he eventually makes his way to me and I just keep heading for the store, I don't have time for this guy...Then, out of no where he hits me from behind - hard enough to disengage my hand holding with the gf, and I fly forward, head down, almost toppling over, but luckily catch myself.

At that point of stopping my forward progression I realize what had just occurred, and in a hero-esque fashion, regaining my balance with my feet firmly planted on the ground, straighten my back, raise my head up, turn around, look the guy who's now a good ten feet away from me square in the eye, and with a chuckle I respond, "Really?" being finished with my half smirk.

I looked over to see my girlfriend wide eyed, and as I made the move extending my hand out to rejoin hers so we could continue with our shopping experience, the aggressor took off back running to his vehicle. I was dumbfounded by the whole situation, and kept asking her if that really just happened..she was in as much shock as I was, if not more, for I remember her stating, "I seriously thought you were going to lose your shit and I'd have to call an ambulance because you were going to kill that guy" and I remember replying frivolously,"He should be happy that he caught me at a rare time."

The asshole tonight would not be so lucky.

The straw that was in my drink moments ago, through the dissonance found its way to the backbone of Joe, who was, by then, on his toes about to fall over this whole ordeal. I don't recall much as it all went by so fast, yet, in the same token, probably played out in slow motion to me then. And after playing it back in my head, I swear it went both ways.

Maybe everything leading up to what I did next was in slow motion...from the time the words were said, to my action, time may have stood still..allowing those horrendous words that verbalized to channel through my ear cannel, bounce around in my brain - enough times for me to realize the gravity of the situation. I swear it repeated, I swear it played over it my head..not just the words some drunk dumbass spewed, but the whole situation..everything. I saw Detective Whatsherface there. I saw her in her monstrous form, badgering me like some sort of criminal. I saw all of my texts pleading for a response. I relived each and every one of those days that went by without an answer. Those passing seconds re-occupied the night of the alleged "incident". It was probably no more than three seconds but it felt like my life flashing before my eyes..and not necessarily my life, but everything that had been involved with this stupid incident.

I stood there paralyzed reliving the past; all the images, the emotions, just everything going by as slowly as it did the first time..floating in a sea of emotion, not really able to free myself...until eventually the playback caught up with the present, dep breath, and from there it went from slow motion to fast forward...before I knew it, I had reacted.

From what I gather, from my broken memory and pieces of the spectators, I retaliated with vengeance. "At least I'm not a rapist!" was spoken - there was a slight pause, the one I relived my life in, and then it was all over. The crowd instantly grew silent, the dj stopping the music to a screeching halt, while the kegs poured no more, mindless conversations whittled to nothing as all eyes were on me. As the crowd lived in their lifetime slow motion, I took a breath, lived mine, and brought the present up to speed quickly.

I turned, without any sense of recourse, without any care, i turned to face my attacker; but as i turned my fist was swinging. Again, this happened all to quickly. My clenched fist flew threw the air without any care of disposition - had it made contact with anyone at that point justice would have been served, however, luckily, no innocent by standers were harmed.

When those six words were shouted to me, it sounded like they were right next to me, whispering loudly in my ear. I pictured them being on the other side of the room due to the fact the person was a giant passive agressive pussy. But luckily for me, this time, as the perpetrator articulately staggered over those words, he also stumbled closer to me...this would be his downfall...actually, my fist would his downfall, his steps towards me were just stupid.

In one swift motion, my fist met his face with a sudden fury and rage...Everything must have been bottled up in that one shot because I didn't even move after that, not a single other punch was thrown, nothing. I connected with my right hand which contained every bit from the past two months I had been trying to hold onto....everything I just relived was put into that swing..everything I just relived in those 3 seconds was harnessed into leveling any falsities.

Apparently one punch was all it took for Mr. Glassjaw to be corrected. My right hook connected and he went down faster than a fat girl on prom night. After the punch I just stood there...I didn't straddle on top MMA style and give kill punches, I didn't spit in his face like some forfeiting father..it all happened too fast I want to think...but then again, maybe it was because of something else.

I destroyed more than just my opponent in that swing..I shut up more than just some asshole spurting out hate..I was putting an end to the lies..to this whole fucked up situation. That punch, that right fist, embodied the truth..and it silenced any slanderous accusations that were coming against me.

I'm going to continue fighting, because that's what I know to do...because it's easier to make up lies than believe in the truth..and if some fucked up person wants to say otherwise, well, there's gonna be hell to pay.

"I think he just took his wallet"

To The Roommate of the Girl in Room Number 238

a kind request..

kinda..

Once you've passed the point of no return, there's no reason to hold back..

I don't know if you'll get this or if you're even going to read this or anything at all but nevertheless, I'll continue. Though I've never met you, you've somehow formed this hatred towards me. We may have talked on the phone for a few minutes, but that's been the extent of our communication...so I'm really at a dead-end as to why you hate me so much..maybe 'hate' is too strong of a word, maybe you use other words, but from my end that's definitely how it appears. I don't know what I've done to you personally to cause these problems, and I've wanted nothing more than to try and resolve them. I always asked Tink to let me talk to you, but she said you would never have it. So now I'm coming to you personally, in a way I guess.

Maybe you have some grand reason, maybe I'm just unaware of the crimes I've committed, but as of now, and always, I'm in the dark. I'm upset that you hate me so, but I'm also upset that you try to control your friend's life. Why you can't respect your friend's non-harmful decisions. Why do you see it fit to be dramatic and cause problems when there are none to between her and I. And don't sit there and act like none of what I am saying is true, Tink always had to leave the room or hang up the phone when she was talking to me because you didn't like it. What kind of friend does that?

Yes, a friend should be there for another friend..should encourage them to do right things..help them in their times of need..should be able to voice their opinion on matters, but also know when to back away. This is the part you failed. You could've hated me all you wanted, and I would have tried to work on that, but you interfered with Tink and I's relationship. Making threats and ultimatums is not cool. I've never seen or heard of anyone so bent out of shape about someone dating someone else, especially someone as irreproachable as myself.

I made Tink happy. I was good to her. I never did anything to harm, impair, compromise...yet you still have reservations. Whether you liked me or not, whether you thought I was horrible or not, that Tink shouldn't be with me or not...you should have said your peace, then, that's it. Let her find out on her own if she is supposed to be with me or not..because it's obvious that she does want to, but can't because of people like you dictating her life. She doesn't want to cause problems with people in her life, and neither do I.

I just have never seen anything like this before. A group of people so hell bent on destroying somebody else's happiness. You can make the claim that being with me caused her loads of stress, but that would bring me right back to you..for, without the ability to just live her life and be happy with me..with someone always interjecting, disrupting, it created that stress.

Enough, I've rambled enough. I wanted to contact you, to talk to you about things and I ended up letting my emotions get the best of me. I came out swinging and I'm sorry. Tink holds you and your opinion in high regards, and so that must mean something. I'm sure you're a great friend and I don't know what I did to cause us to get on the wrong foot..I've always wanted to remedy that. Whether you choose to believe it or not, but I love Tink…and I care about Tink greatly. I care about her and everything that makes her her. I would never change who she is, make her change who she is, negatively influence her, compromise her beliefs...I would have treated her like a princess, because that who she was to me.

Sorry for disturbing you with my message, I appreciate your time. I'd love to actually talk with you, but I don't see that happening. Regardless, enjoy your spring break.

Jangus

"...this should go over well..."

Rules We Live by

Never Give Up,
Never Surrender

funny how this carries over into all aspects of life.

As a member of the services, especially the Marines, there are a lot of guidelines, policies, procedures, rules, etc that we are to adhere to. Did you know there are actually policies put in place for should you get captured? But of course that is something we strive not let happen, as my subtle title thing indicates.

I guess I was born a fighter, I don't know how else to explain how I am what I am today..it's not like I had brothers or sisters I had to constantly do battle with. It's not like I had a male figure head to battle with (clarification, I love my grandfather more than anything, he just was working two jobs and wasn't around as much..but he did everything he could, and more). I don't recall getting into many fights as a child; I remember being competitive, I remember having a temper..but fighting, hmmm. So that leads me to where we are now, I was born this way.

What I hate the most is the phrase "I'm a lover, not a fighter" - as if those who fight are incapable of loving. On the contrary, I fight for what I love. To me, that statement, I'm a lover not a fighter, just means you'll go about peacefully when something you love is taken, damaged, hurt, destroyed..you'll just lay down, putting up no resistance. So to me, being a fighter could be the best of both worlds - I'm definitely a lover, but I'll definitely put up a fight as well.

Call me stubborn, relentless, ridiculous, whatever…I just don't stop, in fact you could say I never stop. But wouldn't you rather have someone that will fight for you, than to have someone just sit there and watch you try to walk out of their life.

There's a saying, "All's fair in Love and War", so wouldn't the policies I live by for War, aka work, apply to when I'm in Love..especially when Love becomes War?

I don't know..maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm what's wrong, or who's wrong..maybe..but regardless I'll keeping doing what I do, what I know to do, what I've always done...Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.

I'll be here, solitary stagnant.







"I'd rather be with the wrong person for the right reasons, Then the right person for the wrong reasons."

Fuck the Rules

fuck the man..
let creativity ring

the fine line between being rebellious and creative.

I keep getting dinged in my classes for my "grammar" problems...be it the ellipses i use, the use of commas, the fact I don't capitalize my I's, whatever the case my be I lose points for it...BUT as my professors strike down their red pens and mark me wrong for it, in the same stroke they congratulate me, uplift me and my findings, my brilliant writing, my prose and wit..and this bothers me.

I am bothered by it because I feel they are creating a double standard, that what they want is impossible almost. In a world of 100 percents, if I excel at one part, something else has to suffer. I can keep my eyes close for 10 minutes, heightening my other senses in the process, while my sense of sight is at zero.

But it's not only that, but that's my style, that's who I am, that's how I write..part of the reason why it is so brilliant is because of the way it is written. If I were to employ perfect English grammar, the read would not be as smart, as enjoyable, as witty, or convey as much personality as it does currently.

Those painters, artists, etc are known for "coloring outside of the lines", i mean fuck, look at monet! Their works of art wouldn't be considered amazing historical pieces had they done what they were told to do..had they lived within the strict confines of "how to properly do their thing"

they all said fuck the rules

they said that not because they were rebelling against the structure, but because their creativity did not allow for it. Their minds were busy at work making something beautiful that they didn't have time to go back over with stupid little details of capitalization in short.

walt.fucking.whitman.

i shouldn't even have to say more with that statement. do you know most fucking authors, poets, writers don't follow the "laws" of writing, and the only reason why we the people see the perfect writing is because the publishing companies change it all as it is being pressed. Publishing houses clean it up, leading us to believe that those artists write perfectly ALL the TIME!

and yes, I know the difference between not caring because it's beautiful and not caring because you're a dumbass. If someone reads what I've written and is cranialy pleased, I've done my job, but furthermore it proves that "perfect english" had nothing to do with what was said...it didn't make my writing any dumber by not following the rules, and if anything my writing can stand on its own.

in the end, nothing is going to change the way i write, my writing is my expression of self, by reading you can tell i'm not some random joe, that my prose is beautiful, my thoughts witty, my knowledge vast, and those who say otherwise are haters. end of story.

quit trying to stifle creativity, it's fucking college!

(oh, and I'll justify full all-fucking-day long!)









"all in all we're just another brick in the wall apparently..."

To Fight the Good Fight

or any fight..
..just fight

I'm a fighter who loves coincidentally.

Funny, this has come up on several occasions this week alone, so I feel it now time to be blog-worthy. We've all heard the phrase "I'm a lover not a fighter", but I honestly cannot recall a time I've ever heard the opposite said. Is society saying it is better to be a lover an not to fight, but what if you are fighting for what you love?

I guess I just love to fight, give me a cause and I'm there. My English teacher in highschool once said to me, "Jangus, not everything is a revolution!" I think I can see where he is going with this, pick and chose your battles, don't make mountains out of molehills, shit like that...but, I guess I don't understand that logic. If something is said, if something is brought up, obviously it's "big enough" to point out...so why bust my balls when I defend it? Maybe I can't live things down, let things go, but that's just who I am and what I do, I'm a fighter.

I hate it when people say it's not that big of a deal, it's not that deep, when they are the assholes who said it in the first place. They attack, I counter, I'm the asshole?! Failed logic right there. Just because I was able to squash your accusation or claim or whatever, just because I was able to defend myself, the other side, etc doesn't make me the asshole, buddy.

Every cause is worth fighting for.

As long as you have conviction, you have the right, no, the responsibility to fight. Now granted there are key ways to go about fighting, not every cause needs your full on militia, but be prepared to deploy them at a moment's notice when things get out of hand.

I got ejected from my football game tonight. I disputed a call, I wanted a touchdown overturned. I knew I was right because I was involved with the play - the guy was down a good two yards before he or the ball cross into the endzone. I was fueled to defend myself beyond normal arguing limits by the horrible play calling that led up to that point - sure it didn't help that our team was losing, but it didn't help that we didn't have a call go our way up to that point either. As I tried to explain my point, I got a flag thrown for unsportsmanlike conduct. As the sand-filled yellow flag hit the turf, I lost my cool. I said some choice words letting the ref know how I really felt. His response was, "alright 35 here's another." The second flag hit the ground, he tossed me from the game, and I laid into him. I figured I was already gone, there was no turning back, what was there to lose. (being ejected also prohibits you from playing in the following game, the following game just so happens to be the last game of the season).

I was upset, I stood up for myself, I stood up for my team (as I am their coach), I stood up against the horrible play calling - did I go too far with it, maybe, but I was only brought to that point by everything else. It's not like it was one play and I went off the deep end, it was antagonized.

I fight because I believe.

I have "fights" with people not because I am angry, nor because I am trying to cause problems, drama, etc; I fight because I want to evoke emotion from those people. One of my girlfriends once told me that we "fought' more than any of her other boyfriends ever did. Now I am using the term "Fight" really loosely here, hence the quotes. Again, these weren't real fights, just me challenging a person's ideas/convictions/beliefs...I do this to see how true and how passionate they really are. I like to play Devil's Advocate a lot, and a lot of people hate it a lot. People hate when they come under fire and they cannot come up with an argument for their reasoning, people hate when they are wrong (I wouldn't know, I'm never wrong).

I fight because I want to take a stand on what I believe. I fight because I know what's right. I fight because it's worth it. I fight because it's the only way I know. I fight because giving up is not an option. I fight for what matters most to me.

Tenacity, that is what defines me. I'm the fighter in the ring that keeps getting back up..even after the match is long over, I'm still fighting. Til I win I'll keep fighting. Til I die I'll keep fighting. I'm gonna keeping fighting for you. Always.










"You think we're fighting, I think we're finally talking..."

You're Outta Here!

because you're a jerk...
..and so is that guy

The story of my ejection, yes, ejection

No, not ejaculation, there is no typo here, this is about my ejection from our football game on tuesday. Finally in five season I got my first ever ejection from a game, which also means I am suspended one game as well. Kinda harsh considering exactly what I, well we, were ejected for.

I knew my time would come, but I didn't think it'd be this season, heck, after the first two seasons I thought my time had passed, but apparently it did not. You see, as a player who is rushing the QB, for some reason there builds a riff between you and anyone that stands in your way...maybe not necessarily on the rushers part, I'll put blame on the other guy, naturally.

Inevitably when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, some crazy shit is about to go down. Here you have a guy rushing from a distance of about five yards at full speed into a guy who's been set in his position since the team lined up..shit's gonna happen.

tonight, however, had a build up, be it a quick one, it also had a quick ending. The play prior is the starting point for this, and in a matter of that one minute, enough tension was build, tempers flared, and you got people getting tossed out by the refs.

So on the previous play the opposing teams QB ran with it, up the right of the field and everything started to bottleneck. One of my teammates while chasing after the QB, stumbled, slid, and fell into the quarterback from behind. Instantly the other QB starts bitching about being tackled so on and so forth..to the point where even the ref told him to be quiet. I of course defend my teammate, saying it was an accident, obviously, and just basically man up. My teammates do not throw intentional hits like that. So as he gets up, he starts talking shit to me..mentions something about tackle, to which i respond saying if he wanted to we could go outside and play tackle, I've got two guys on my team who went to college to play football...and all i ever hear from those two is why they cannot tackle in this league. He mistook my retort as some sort of wanting to start a fight, and continued to talk. By this point both teams were lining up and I could no longer hear him. I asked the QB if he was still talking shit..of course I could hear noise, just not make sense of it. Then I told him to get the dick out of his mouth and play some football...of course the ref was within earshot.

the following events are incredulous. Hike was shouted and I took off from my corner position running straight in between two wide receivers, who were coming at in full sprint - the fierocity in the nature of running like that through me off but i stayed my course, veering onto the left shoulder of the innermost receiver. As I passed him I gave him a "chip block" as it is known in the game, just a push or nudge to throw the other person off as you run your route. For me, i open-handed (this is key) pushed him with my left arm and made my move to the QB. As I approached, the center was already engaged with the other blitzer so I was on my way to the QB, or so I thought. I watched as he cocked back his arm, looking downfield, about ready to make a throw. At that moment i jumped in the air in hopes of at least tipping it, little did I know the QBs intent. The moment my jumped reached it's apex the QB turned and looked right at me flying through the air. He then hurled the pass right towards my midsection, luckily, i had enough of time/reflexes to stop the ball from hitting me in my most sensitive of areas.

As I landed and the whistles blew, a very discerning sense of unsportsmanship engulfed the field. I was just starting to call out the QB for the intentional ballpunch to my nuts when the receivers, whom i passed, were charging back to me. Their allegations went from me punching them as i passed to me throwing an elbow to god knows what. This moment is a blur to me and so it's hard for me to give an accurate depiction of what really occurred.

I remember my team running up and getting in between me and the other team, even though I was walking away, ready to get back into formation. I did stop at one point to turn to the team, but only because I was getting yelled at and I wanted to calmly address them, honestly! The other team were all over the refs yet again and that's when they decided to toss me and one of the other players. I really don't remember who it was, it wasn't the QB, i think it was the receiver i pushed on my way by, but who knows. The ref came over to me and told me i was gone, all i did was look at him and say ok.

As i made it back to our bench, starting to undress, the other team's person who also got ejected started to make his way over, opening his mouth, asking me if i wanted to still 'take it outside' Once again my teammates who were on the bench with me got up to get in between. Me, well, I could care less..I really didn't 'start' a fight, wasn't looking to fight, i just wanted to play.

I changed itno my street clothes and walked away from the bench and playing field. I preoccupied myself with a younger kid tossing a football to himself. He proved to be a good distraction as chatted it up playing catch. The one instance I turn back to see how the progression of the game was going, I see our big guy bullrushing their center. A warning was given to us and I was about ready to call the game at that point.

There's no sense in needless anger. It's a game, tempers will flare, I know this..I play to win! but when it comes down to it, we all have our own lives and real jobs we have to go back to in the morning. Had the main ref been near my bench when the bullrushing occurred, I would have told him to just end it, i don't care how close we are to pulling off a comeback, just end the game...it's not for fun anymore and somebody's gonna get hurt.

but that didn't happen, and things calmed down a little. We still ended up losing, i didn't shake hands as i wasn't allowed near the field, and i apologized to my team for letting them down by getting ejected for standing up for them.

I talked with refs and organizers after the game, then my team as a whole, escorted me to the parking lot. We function as a team; we all look good together, we all look bad together.

and my hand hurts like a mother....

"*in the parking lot looking at my hand* You know, if these marks here are teeth imprints..maybe i did hit him in the face..."

The Beginning..

of some ends..
to a means..

Daddy, always said, "son.."...wait no, that's not it

"Jangus, everything is not a revolution", the one phrase that plays back like an annoying ad you see ay every commercial break. No it wasn't said by my father, rather it was an english teacher i had two years in high school; a phrase that i'll never forget and never be able to live down.

i know i've had to mention it on here before in some previous post as it always seems like a reoccurring theme in my life..the only advice i hold onto, yet, sadly can't do anything about. so i apologize in advance if now i've turned into the broken record.

they say we study history as to not repeat it, to learn from the past - funny, some of the biggest mistakes are made without any regard to past events. Being a history buff that i was back in the day i always like to make reference to WWII. In this situation i'd quote Hitler when he said, "where Napoleon failed, i will succeed" the irony is that that never happened and Hitler made the same mistakes Napoleon did, fighting a multiple front war.

is it just human ignorance that we disregard other's past failures, is it an ego boost of superhuman characteristic to think we can do what other's did not, or is it optimism at it's best - i know the latter with the positive note threw you off...

Whatever the case may be i'm going to be guilty of trying my hand at the same demise maker that is, fighting the multiple front war. combine that with the "everything IS a revolution mentality" and you'll see your forces stretched very, very thin.

they say when it rains it pours, and once again i feel as if i am fighting to keep myself dry with only a napkin. fighting every cause that arises with a piss and vinegar attitude all the while taking on new fights and arguments will quickly get you into a 'you versus the world' mentality.

that's about where i am headed right now.

but i know i have my support out there, it's just the front lines, or those in the closest proximity of your life, whether be it physically, emotionally, or destinationly, are always the ones you'll find that change sides and you end up fighting against.

over this weekend i've somehow managed to have declared war on three different fronts - and though those fronts are not at all surprising as they have all been something that have been in the making, it still comes as a shock...now when i say i have declared war it seems as if i am the one taking the initiative to attack, rather that is hardly the case here, if ever - which is why it always feels one against the world.

the problem with me is, if someone wants to fight, i'm more than likely going to fight back, and to my fullest extent. and with three fights picked in two days, it only fuels the" pack up and go" type of attitude that in the end only would cause more damage. of course each and every front on the opposing side doesn't know about the other fronts that are being fought - so when push comes to shove with me and one front, that one front gets the anger and onslaught not equivalent to just the one fight, but to all the fights combined. Again, it's like the breaking straw, the kid that snaps, the bottle that explodes; the end reaction isn't that constituting of one action, but many added up.

if "all's fair in love and war" i fight fair, but it's dirty. with revolution type of fights you're willing to do what it takes to change the tide - most people will fight just because they're bitches, i fight like there's a cause, something that actually matters on the line...this usually results in me doing "drastic measures" ultimately cutting off those other fronts high and dry. i'm an extremist, i know no mercy and will show none, i'll put everything on the line just to walk away with a "victory", even if it means losing everything in the process. my ego versus other's irrational attitudes. what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force...they disappear and i move on...

this is just the prologue...and i'm the narrator?










"see, the thing about me is, i don't save any for the swim back.."