You

fucking

ruined

me

Sigh, that comment is directed to a number of people, including myself, so don't take it the wrong way. Ehh, I don't feel like going down that path right now, I'm still trying to catch up from this past week, what with the holiday and visitors and all. I guess I just wanted to get that statement out there, get it said. Funny, because almost every night as I lay in bed, right before I pass out I think of a title for my next blog - and they've pretty much all been something along the lines of one word phrases calling someone out on something.

It's sumer, and I don't write much in summer..I guess my mind goes on its own little vacation without me knowing it…maybe its just habitual now after all those years of schooling…may ending the year and the end of august kicking it back off.

I remember hating trying to get back into the grove of things in august..back on a sleep schedule, back on any schedule, back to making your head retain pointless knowledge all the while trying to remember everything you forgot in those few months off.

Maybe summer school would be good for kids..maybe year round school would be good for kids. Of all the archaic institutions in America, it seems silly to still let children off from school during the summer months to tend to the crops. Of course this type of thinking would only anger everyone…wonder why we are listed so low on the most intelligent nations list.

Right now everything in my life and around me is a mess…but not such a chaotic mess..more like that uncomfortable numb acceptance mess…like you're that sock in the washing machine that's just kinda sitting in the middle of things as the center blades churn back and forth. You're getting tugged and pulled in all directions, but it's not violent. You're kinda floating, not really getting sucked down into the mix of things..but you realize, even that would be better than where you are right now…because at least then you'd be doing something. you're just a sock in a washing machine, and nothing is living up to its purpose.

let's hope it's not a pink sock in the whites...

"to today, middle finger response"

Turn, turn, turn

to everything..
there is a season..

a reason why i hate summer...

it's that time of the year again, inevitably so, that summer has come upon us. Most people will go with some archaic mythological belief that summer starts on (approximately) june 21st, or rather the "summer solstice" - those who are a little more educated will know this to be the day the earth stands still, well one of the two in a year.

for those living in the northern hemisphere we incorrectly and haphazardly call june 21st the first day of summer, as it has been dubbed the summer solstice...all that means is, hey, today is the longest day of the year, from here on out days will be getting shorter again...if anything how does that mark the beginning of summer, shouldn't it mark the beginning of fall, or the end of summer?

but no, we call it the beginning of summer based on some stupid beliefs we recklessly hold onto...in my opinion summer starts when those pools open, when it's ok to wear white again, when the temperature is conducive to turning on the air conditioning, when school is no longer is session...for some of those things that would sometime in may, maybe strectching towards memorial day at that...

maybe it's the turning over to a new month in a calendar, june 1st - that would make sense with all of the incoherant dribbling posts i've read over the past couple of days from people estatic for it to be june...*looks around the room* i'm sorry, di-did i miss something...does, or did, something crazy happen in june i am not aware of?

i can't say i have ever seen such overwhelming responses from the multitude of the idiots i claim to be friends with who were so jubilated with the turning over to june that they not only had to declare it in social media form, but with such uncertainty "couldn't believe june was already here!?"

at first glance i thought they were happy because it was june, but to me that just didn't seem right...so naturally itried to offer any other explanation to make the masses less foolish...maybe somebody named June was appearing in concert, tv show was debuting, visiting, anything of the sort which just so coincidentally happened to occur on the new month, which just so happened to be june...yeah, no such luck

however this is not my sole reason for hating summer, rather it was a catalyst to remind me of how much i hate summer, and the reasoning still standing, because of idiots.

one strong factor is that the weather changes, for the better - so how can i hate that you ask...well it's not so much as the amazing weather i hate, but rather insomuch as to what it causes. people.

and you know, it's not even summer as a whole that i hate, it's the Midwestern mentality of what summer is and what it means. i'm sure that if i lived in a tropic climate such that of hawai'i or cali, or some other part of the dessert that this inexplicable behavior wouldn't take place...only in the god forsaken midwest. now yes those places mentioned do go through varying weather conditions and season changes, but to a far less degree than that of midwest and the like states - drastic changes in temperature where you can have weeks at over 100 degrees to weeks under 0 degrees all within the confines of 365 days...

so what is so wrong with the "Midwest mentality on summer", as i am calling it now, and the bringing out of people, just that. maybe to better understand my hatred towards summer it's best to start with why i like fall most of all. i'll be the first to say and admit that i hate colder temperatures, and if i could have it my way i'd prefer to live in a tropic climate mentioned much earlier. and even though i was born and raised off the lake of michigan in illinois i still hate the cold, and with each passing year that goes by i can handle it less and less. there is no conditioning and tolerance towards sub-freezing temperatures dissipates as you grow older just as quickly as the heat.

i'm not the only mid-westerner who feels this way - as much as we'd like to say how tough we are
as we battle through the conditions year in and out, we despise it...and as soon as the sun starts to lose it's shine and a gentle, cool breeze blows through we all scour with our tails in between our legs back indoors, killing the a/c and cranking up the heat, while frantically searching in our basements for our layers, scarfs, parkas, and shovels...it's true, we're pussies who are prepared.

and that's what i like about fall, people, the general masses, running back inside - not polluting the streets with their cars, flooding parks, jogging about shirtless thinking they in the best shape of their life when all you really wanna do is yell at them like marky mark to put a damn shirt on...

and as much as i encourage people to live their life, to seize the day, and all that, this is not the time.

i hate how the warmer weather brings those people out, because it's a mentality that isn't right, that isn't good - these are the fair weather people we've all been talking about!...they come out in the fancy cars they only take out because the weather is perfect..people driving around in their convertibles with the tops down like they are gods gift of the roads..i hate people that are conditionally convenient bandwagon jumpers on life - people who will run and hide at the first sign of unfavorable conditions, but otherwise try to claim the land like they never floundered..

so it's not the warm weather directly that i dislike, rather i much enjoy a good summer's day on a patio sipping on a sugary concoction that's horribly dressed with colorful fruit and umbrellas wishing it could always be like this, wishing i were somewhere else. but it's the weather that brings out those assholes i could care less to see...those a-holes who, while i'm still on the patio drinking my drink in october, they've long gone to their resort homes or cruise-line vacations

i hate summer because i hate people...but only in the midwest....










"Cause I love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazing on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime"

Cedar Point

most rides..
most drama...

the number one summer job, unless you've worked there...

Can you believe it, the 2009 season has already started...well, a little bit of a later start than normal, but it's here, in full swing....and..are you going back? throughout the months of march-may i saw so many of my former friends and co-worker's facebook statuses relaying the same message, "just waiting on my call from CP" it made me start to wonder what the heck was up..these employees were not trouble makers, finished their contracts, so why would they get a no-rehire or conditional re-hire this season...

well, the answer lays somewhere between the heavens and jim rice? after i contacted several of these people about what was going on, i received some horrifying results..so i thought i'd throw my hat into the process and see if anything they were saying was real, sure enough it seems CP was doing a little 'house cleaning' so to speak - returning employees, not this year...unless you're a double blue ranger or have it in with the executives.

ahhh who was i kidding...did i really want to return to cedar point this year, after my retirement in 2007, after the blow-up in 2008..i may be awesome, i may be the "cedar point kid", but i'm no Micheal Jordan..i don't think there would be a way to pull off that successfully.

returning would just be another out, another dead-end path on the constant run called my life. maybe it would be a form of back tracking, going over grounds i onced treaded before, coming up wit the same results more than likely...it'd be like doing an experiment and getting the same results five times..so then you try for the sixth..because you're stupid...stupid and skeptical, there's a fine line, and i think a return would be crossing it..

or maybe i did want to return...part of the reason for not returning to CP in 2008 was the fact i was getting moved up to a server at the restaurant i am still at - that advancement was a big deal, and who knows what would have happened had i left for four months....granted there were plenty of other reasons i couldn't return to CP, again with the burning of the birdges thing..apparently it's not kosher to fuck the manager's niece, even though he's the one who set you two up..

i mean i do want to get out of indy, i was ready to throw my hat in almost a year ago, ok, pretty much as soon as i got here...CP would provide me with a money making opportunity, moreso than i could make her (i think)..and maybe you do in fact have to take a step back to take two forward...and at this rate, i'm about to...

so where does it all stand..well, i applied but that doesn't mean i'm going...but what if - dreams, dreams...of when we had just started things..dreaming of bigger things










"wait, didn't that place make you wanna go back to school it sucked so much - maybe that's the direction i need"