Bad Boys Bad Boys

whatcha gonna do..
whachta gonna do when they are you?

Nobody wants to be the bad person, but sometimes you are..and you just can't admit it.

They say winners write history, and it's true. The winners are always prevailed to be the "good guys", but think about it the other way; had the other guys won, those bad guys would have been the heroes. When recanting the story of your life, or any story involving your life, you never want to be the bad guy; you tell "your" side of the story; you tell your friends who are obviously on your side; ultimately you are playing the victim card.

Guess what, you are the bad guy, just in someone else's story.

I'm not the typical friend some would say - as much as I'd drop everything for someone (even someone who turned their back on me) I won't play the typical friend card...as in, I'll tell it like it is, tell you the truth, say what your friends want to say but are too afraid to say it. In that sense I'll call people out like it's a hobby, in fact, I may as well add that to my FB hobbies list...

As the story goes I was calling out this flake of a friend who, for the life of her, could never organize plans to get together (let's not even get into the fact how bad of a text replyer she was...) Well after a random text from me she replies back, telling me that I make her feel like a bad person. I chuckle, and as the smile set in across my face i replied back. "I tell a non-fiction recalling your actions, and if those words upset you maybe you should go back to the source, yourself" Of course this did not go over well..not to bore you with the details, she tried to defend herself, bla bla bla...people will come up with reasons to not do something, as i always say, there's always a million reasons to not do something...I'm glad that others read my blog because that does remind me of a side story where someone once said, "if there's anything you taught me during our relationship it's if something is important you'll find a way.." Ok, we are way off topic..

Back to feeling like a bad person...she didn't feel like a bad person when she did those things, or rather not did those things...but it wasn't until someone kicked open the door in her head and called her out on it (I just like the visual of kicking her in her head..) And I know why she said it, same reason anyone says it, they start to see the truth, but heaven forbid they be the bad person, so they try to turn the tables onto you..call you manipulative, saying how badly you make them feel by saying that..and while most people would cave, I stand by my statements...not only have you fucked me over in the past, but you're going to try and make me the bad guy for getting upset over it?!

That's just some straight up bull.

And so when you go back to your friends, and continue to talk the shit about me, continuing to make me out to be the bad guy..you'll only be lying to yourself. Heck, when I tell a story and someone thinks the other person is the bad guy I am usually sticking up for that other person..but that's me...and I'm not as bad a person as you make me out to be.

Ironically enough, I was typing all this up when I received a text, late night 1am text, from a friend needing to vent. My friend wanted to talk to, as they said, verbatim, a 'sane' person...I scoffed and had to reply back asking "ME?!" followed with questioning whether or not I was the last on the list...my friend replied back telling me I was more sane than I give myself credit for...I say "I'm on the verge of k-exert deleted-f and you're calling me sane?!" And I get this as a response "You might have your own problems but you deal with others' well" ...

And that reminded me of a lot of things...How just earlier that same day another friend with whom I rarely speak to was having a rough day, or so they posted, and I texted to see what was up...and in fact that happened two days ago as well..and then it comes back to one of the greatest compliments I was ever indirectly given...

This goes back to my first year at CP...A friend who was also a current co-worker was having a random chat with a previous co-worker of mine on a lunch break or something...amoung the random discussions somehow I was brought up into the conversation, maybe the current co-worker asked the previous one what it was like to work with the Jangus..and this is what was said, "Jangus is a great guy..you just know that..because...he could have twenty of his own things going on and you'd ask him for help...and then he'd have 21." When my friend told me that, I was shocked...shocked because this previous co-worker of mine wasn't a buddy, I was never close with, heck, I probably kept my distance...but the fact that they recognized that, that I stood out in that way...that's what blew my mind.

So you see..I can be that deleted excerpt from your life, maybe a footnote, or a brief mention...heck, maybe I will get mentioned as the horrible person that ruined your life or some random crap you like to spill from your lips..but the truth of the matter is, I'm not..I'm not that guy...I'm not the bad guy...However, I am your escape goat. I'm what you manifest your own badness into so you, in your own story, can be the victim, the hero, the good guy.

It's not my fault I'm 'bad'....afterall, you made me this way...








"<3"

People

Why are they so fucking stupid, or
why do the stupid ones flock to me

am i some sort of magnet that attracts these fools???

because let's face it, as a magnet i would not be able to attract people like me; cool mother fuckers who are smart and so forth...and these people are definitely in my life by the numbers. Eventually they make their departure, but not before ransacking the place, ie my fucking head.

anwyays, the following is a conversation i woke up to on my computer thanks to skype being open all night


N: i WILL SAY IT just once and will be completely honest to you, the change in my moods and attitudes is thanks to a clinical depression, which I am trying but facing huge difficulties to handle
N: I am telling you this so tha you can stop contacting me
N: sorry J
N: goodbye
*4 hours later*
b: wait, are you asking me to stop talking to you? because that is not what i want, but if you do not want me around, then i will go

and that was the last i've heard from that person....odd

but the day only gets better when i decide to text an ex to send my regards on her recent, well, recently made to my knowledge, engagement

B: A little overdue, but i believe a congratulations is in order for you
four hours pass
C: Why do u care
C: Anfd why do u talk like that
B: Wait, I'm confused - talking like what? And I just wanted to extend my gratitude...am I not supposed to care? I mean, I hold no hard feelings
C: Why should u
B: Why should I to which part that I said?
C: ...care
B: You're someone who was apart of my life at one point and like I said I don't hate you...I'm sorry if I shouldn't have said anything at all
C: Ok but I got engaged in may and ur just now saying something... looks like u were needing an excuse to talk to me
*my blood starts to rise*
B: Ummmmm no - I just found out today actually - no excuse, just being nice
C: Oh from who cuz we aren't friends
*still rising*
B:I know we aren't friends, otherwise I probably would have known sooner - but it has come up in conversation with X and W
C: Go figure...I knew they were playing as ur informants
*shock, blood pressure encroaching redline*
B:You make it sound like some conspiracy against you...just casual conversation - they thought I already knew..and that's all that was said..no worries
C: Why
B: Why what?
C: Nothing pls just leave me alone
*we've hit breaking point*
B: I was saying congrats, being nice...you need a reality check and grow the fuck up - stop being such a fucking bitch - if this is how you are acting to people now, I don't know you nor wish to know you. I have neither the time not the inclination to explain myself to a woman who I've been nothing but nice to, forgiving, and kept my distance, and then questions the manner in which I do it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you fuck off

*end of conversation*

So that pretty much sums up today, granted there is other shit going on as well...neither the time nor the place as i am growing tired..but wanted to fill you in with the randomness..

so there you have it.









"ahh crap, auto-correct changed my misspelling of "hate" to "have"- that changes the course of this conversation completly...i don't have you...i don't hate you...fucking iphone..."

Cas/Lax/Thurs

whatwhat?!
no times for grammar....

So what's all this hype about this "Cas/Lax/Thurs" I've been hearing about?!

well, let me tell you.....Cas/Lax/Thurs, or CLT for the time being..because in honor of the day i'm getting tired of even giving you the short-hand version, is, well, in short..a day of 'keeping it real' Despite what you may think, it is not a day of rest. However it is a day for relaxing - not stressing out - not getting excited, just a very mellow day.

The name originates from Casual, for the Cas - Relaxed, or Lax - and Thursday turned to the shirthand version of Thurs...put it together and what do you get - Cas/Lax/Thurs....or CLT for the moment...

So what do you do on CLT? well, it's really no different from any other day except for the fact you just tone it down...take it from an eleven to about a five...you bring your "C" game to work...you no longer possess that 'sense of urgency' because you don't need to...on CLT you just go about you daily routine and kick back, soaking life up while you go about your mundane life...

yes that's right..in a way CLT is all about taking the time to appreciate the little things in life - sure we all kid and joke around with how we half-ass the day, but it's in the 'not caring' (as much) that we focus on the essentials we've all been missing out on...

it's taking your mind off of all the things that have been troubling you those other non-relax days - it's where the rules and specs and shit like that are kicked to the wayside - it's like the sabbath for those who don't care as much...it's prepping you for the much needed weekend...it is what it is, it's what we do, or rather what we don't do...its cas/lax/thurs...

"Wait...did you just say Cas/Lax/Thurs could be said as 'CLiT'?!"

Band Names

Rockband
Rock On...

So I forgot to include this in my music=life post from the other day

so in my haste to make a blog post i forgot to mention my oh-so awesome band names, should i ever create a band...also, should a band come out with any of the names i have listed, i will now have indispensable proof that i thought of it first, therefore am the cooler, coolest, person...ok

should i ever have a ska band..or a band that had a big horn section, my name would be Brass Tactics .... get it?

my coverband name..... DJ ASBIC aka Don't Judge A Song By Its Cover...ehh....get it?

i like puns, can you tell?

but my favorite band name of all time, the one i use on Rockband is...Tepid Water! of course you have to hear me say the band name to fully understand it...it's a rock band, duh, and you kinda hafta scream the name as you say it....in like an 80's high pitched voice...

that's all i got for now....










"....and Jangus featuring the Jang-o-fets!"