Guess I Got My Answer

In the future..
but posting presently..

not understanding the logic behind it all

So apparently Blogger still has me locked onto CONUS time..whether it's east or west coast time I'm not certain, I think I may have updated it to West, but who knows...so my posts are like a day late pretty much..

cool story.







"The heart wants what it wants... There's no logic to those things."

Un

full
filled

the clarification...

My last post seemed..short..or to not have as much filler in it as normal...I've had several ideas for the direction my blogs should take...at times I want them to be long, like a frickin chapter out of a book...and then at other times i feel i can get the same thing said in a more direct, quicker fashion. The later always makes me feel like I'm cheating the system, that I'm making an update with just a few sentences, nothing substantial.

In my last post the whole reason why I wrote the thing was mentioned briefly, in a half sentence, I never got into the logistics of what that friend did to make me end communication with them, nothing..it was originally on my mind, amoung other things, but it never got mentioned..so in a way, part of me feels unfulfilled, like i left out the story..but yet my meaning clearly got across...didn't it?

Whatever..it's not like the friend ever read this blog so they wouldn't know the horrific details of what makes them a horrible person...I guess that's one less person to have cried about this blog..so then what does it matter..i guess what really matters is that the week of angry feelings and writings about that person have come to a close, moving on...

Ugh, new note..I just hate being let down..I don't put too high, or unreasonable expectations on people..I guess I just would want someone who calls themselves a good friend of mine to be able to do the same things I'd do for them - no questions asked. It's the ultimate golden rule. I want things done for me like i'd do for you..i want to be treated like i treat you...i want to be loved like i love you...

is that really so much to ask for?









"oh crap...domino effect of the blogs happening now..."

Housekeeping

Cleaning up..
changing up..

trying to show i care

Every time i start to get balls deep back into my blog, I always go through a revamping of the layout itself...it only makes sense, the times have changed, there's a new chapter currently being written, time to spruce up the ol page itself.

I took some time just cleaning up some things, nothing really noticeable, just time consuming..change the widths on the side bars and blog posts themselves, that was something that drove me crazy..it looks cleaner in my opinion now. Changed the fonts a bit...you know, just little things i think give it a better look

I tried changing my background picture because i hate the fact i am using someone else's artwork...i have plenty of pictures to use, but they file sizes are too large and when i resize them, they just get tiled..it's annoying.

alright, that's all i got, just wanted to see how all the new functions were working, how it looked, etc...we will be back to our regularly scheduled program, now.








"the dust on this shit is killing me...fucking allergies..."

Cooooool

neato..
wowzers...

whoa!

Nothing crazy to report, but I wanted y'all to know that I have just updated my blog page..it consisted of one click - i don't even get off that easy - so let's not get too excited..

but now you can view my..err this page on a mobile device..easier, that is...you could always open the web browser on an iphone and read...but this is more legit...

so for all of my iphone followers who like to read up on me while they are bored at work, i got you.








"personal notification"

51 Hours..

too tired to care,
too tired not to

ughhh....that's all i can sum up the past....i don't even know....i was able to squeeze an update out of the lack of internet melon i had the other day...i need to get back on track...it's hard to form habits when other things are making it impossible to stay on beat...

i got another crappy schedule this week, actually it was the same at last week but instead of going somewhere i spent the time cooped up in the apartment from the time i got home from work on tuesday til today...51 hours without stepping foot outside..

i've had plans to do things, but i just hadn't had the motivation to do it..and when i wanted to yesterday i couldn't...you see the AT&T internet guy called at 4 saying he was at a job but would be over right after that..well, i couldn't leave in fear that i would miss the guy..so i waited..and waited...and waited...10pm came around and i decided to make some food, fucking att...

so today i felt extraordinarily tired...that didn't help me get moving, neither did the sudden change in direction for service going well for the apartment...the maintenance people came over to put the screens back on our patio..they've only been off since we've moved in, lord only knows why they took them off in the first place, nothing was wrong with them....after they were finished up, the cable guy showed up..so i sat there and watched him make new cables and connect boxes...after that i laid back down...i was in and out of sleep all day...Phil came in my room to borrow my lapy to hook up the interent, apparently he was on the phone with AT&T...after a bit of time the internet was setup....coool, Thursdays everything gets pieced together it seems...

3 pm rolled around and i meant to get going with my To-Do list, but with the new acquisition of internet and cable, i had a lot of catching up to do...a lot of porn to view and stalking...i became grossly engaged in online conversations with people that ate into my time frame...4 pm - no trip to btown...5pm - no trip to the antique stores...6pm - no trip to take a look at the bedroom set...7pm - ok seriously, let's get a move on...

i went tanning, partially fell asleep in the bed, probably the best tanning experience i have ever had though, at no time did i get hot, and it was very peaceful..way to kill myself...then i drove around, went to furniture stores...i've come to realize i hate buying new things like beds and tables because of how poorly made everything is..cheap flimsy wood, lightweight...funk this..i'll stick to the antique stores and get quality...

i was on the east side of southport by this point so i made a stop into meijer - now i had only two things on my list, tweezers and razors...but it's meijer, a million reasons a sinlge store, that's meijer...i never grab a cart (because there's always one around) - i find the two initial items i am looking for and decide to continue looking..starts in electronics but then moves onto the other half of the store, you know, where the food is located...

i decide i want chocolate milk, you know me...but upon my arrival in front of the dairy rape juice barriers of glass i noticed something..something that only comes out once a year....eggnog! it's my thing to buy a half gallon of eggnog every year the first time i see it....and it seems that every year it comes out earlier and earlier...

continuing on with my grocery adventure i walk next to the end of the aisles looking down them, trying to remember what it is like to grocery shop...it's one of those things tat makes me happy, or least it used to, don't ask me why...but it's been so long since i've actually lived in a place where i had access to ovens, fridges, an actual kitchen...i can't even remember the things i used to buy all the time to stock my freezer or cabinets...

while passing by one aisle and young lady catches my eye - i'm still in my sleepy what the fuck state and it takes me to the next aisle for me to realize the girl and process the sighting...i double back or a second look and my thoughts are confirmed, sorta...she looks like a girl i used to work with..so there i stand looking like some sort of freak at the end of the aisle, tilting my head trying to get a good look at the face to tell whether or not it is the girl - i'm an idiot...so then i start to make my way down the aisle and she looks at me, smiles and then we both realize we know each other..we converse, all in all it was a good talk. for some reason she gave me her number and told me that i should stop by sometime, i could bring the boys too, since they live right across the street from meijer..coool.

i continue shopping, i come across the cereal aisle and of course have to get me some lucky charms...by now it's hard to hold the two half gallons of milk, two boxes of cereal, and the random small items i got in H&B...i start to walk away, but it isn't long before i find an empty abandoned shopping cart, and then it was on...

in the next couple minutes i pick up random items, it wasn't true shopping, just frozen goods and shit like that..i make my way to the front of the store and call it quits..as i walk my cart by the check out lanes i see the girl again and she sees my cart, i just shake my head and say, "i don't even know how this happened...."

stop at subway, pick up some food....i really don't want to do anything today..i barely wrote this blog...fuck me right?

" ..of course i care...but she's a different person now, she changed and so she's no longer what i loved, and that's all she wrote "

I'm Bring it Back, Foo

Old Habits...
New Swing...

so the first thing to happen to me on this started with text message that awoke me from my slumber around 1pm...I'm not complaining that it woke me, i don't need to sleep past 1 regardless of the time i went to bed the night/day prior. it was from the ex, she wanted to know if i randomly paid a visit to The Hole. i was confused as i remembered i worked a double and responded no, but curiosity sparked and i also asked why...was there someone else leaving love notes and flowers for my girl, er ex girl? well as it turns out, the guy who the ex had been hanging out with, some coworker, had his car keyed...she said she didn't think it was me, but i guess the guy did..i ramble off how i don't know the guy, never seen him nor the car he drives, and that i had no motivation, what kind of crazies is she dating?! she reassures me that they only hung out a few times and they are not dating, besides, he is going to jail tomorrow...and this is the kind of guy she falls out of love with me for, nice..lol

after the wake up i brought myself to finally get out of bed and start my day. While in the shower i soon realized i had a lot of little things planned for today - never a free day off...and you wonder why i sleep in so much..i made multiple phone calls, got things organized, and yes, even worked on this website - finally getting it UP and Running...so now everyone can be happy

I'm playing around with the layout and gadgets off to the side..there's some things visually i want to change, but it's a work in progress so bare with me please (any ideas or suggestions would be nice...) one thing i want to do is make the margins smaller, so the text is a little wider and there is more space between the post and side items..

one thing i have to get used to is this new "Title" bar...it's really throwing my old ways out of wack...i liked it before when i had a Title, subtitle, and then an opening sentence to get the ball rolling..all worked together in a nice little melody, it was music to your eyes people...but now this title bar thing..it's not even listed IN the blog post space and it's all highlighted when i post...so what i am thinking is I'll just have to switch my order up completely backwards..the closing sentence will now be the opening title, and the two latter phrases/words will be my subtitle guys...to understand what i am talking about read some of my past blogs...you'll get it and appreciate it-it'll be the first and last time you see that done-a pure moment of brilliance..

another thing that I'm already getting nutted on now, and have in the past, is my lengthy posts...yes, yes, i know they are a considerable size and take a lot of effort and patience to read...but the long posts are few and far between...come on now..these were my first posts in a really long time..in fact the last time i made a post was on November 11, 2007...and it wasn't even a real post, as i have my standards, it was merely a cry that i wanted to post again..and before that it was on February 19th..and it was a lengthy one as well...it was part of the Hawai'i Series and i doubt that was really the last time i wrote in hawai'i, but it was certainly the last time i got around to publishing it....

but give it some time..i'm rusty and it'll go from me saying every little thing and detail that happened to me, to a brief synopsis that gets to the main point...and if you're lucky you'll have multiples...err, several posts in a day...if not, just check out the twitter feed to the side entitled, "Instantaneous Gratification" for those of you who need to be constant in the know..err, stalking me...

i really like how the twitter application is off to the side though - i have been utilizing the twitter website as my means back into blogging...short, concise blogs, or twitts if you will giving you a basic idea of what i am doing at that current moment - and the ease of the update is unreal..first i had the text option, where i would send a text message from my phone to twitter who would publish what i posted...it was almost like inviting someone out with me in a way "At work...fuck this place" or "hungry, i'm thinking arby's?" all you have to do is get in the habit of doing it every time you do something..and who doesn't carry a phone around with them all the time? Now this is a self-given stalk..you are basically telling anyone and everyone what you are doing and where...so i guess be careful? i know my stalker will soon be onto me once again...hopefully the idleness of this website over the past year has made him forgetful of it..but once he randomly checks this site,it'll all be over...

anyways, twitter then added an app for the iphone, which i downloaded immediately and have used ever since, no more texts, rather its a smaller version of twitter, just on the phone...nice..one problem i do have from time to time is i DO want to go over the 140 character limit they have..yeah, character, not word, but character...you know how i love those ellipses too... .... ... ..... . . .. . ... .they make my day, like little rabbit poo..."oh my god, a rabbits' been here!" - "oh where, i love rabbits?!" conversation i had in my head just now..sorry for that...

let's get back on track here...I'll try to keep the words to a minimum..TJ says 250, I'll try, but then again you must ask yourself, for what do you blog..is it purely yourself and therapeutic, is it for your friends or family for them to see how you are doing, or do you wanna have hordes of people reading, commenting, and you get famous off this shit...if it's the latter, abide by TJ's rules he's well read up on, if it's for any of the other options, be free...there are no rules to a blog..poor grammar, spelling, length, consistancey...whatever....its for you, do what you want

oh...one thing I'll do that i kinda picked up on and liked was the stagnant posting...like, I'll write this blog about Tuesday in the wee hours of Tuesday into Wednesday and I'll post it sometime Wednesday mid-day or so..and it will have the post time and date showing that of Tuesday, not Wednesday...so you'll be a day behind, but not really, but kinda...it's just an insurance thing, gives me plenty of time to try and push out a new blog as i would like to get one, at least one of something out there...maybe if they had blogger for the iphone....

well, I'll let it end there...my night took me for all you can eat shrimp at the Lob..i think i got to 35 in 35..which was good because i was in a hurry to go and see Mindless Self Indulgence at the Murat...now it's already the next day and i have to be to work at 6am..ughhh

"It's 3 a.m. - she won't put out - Lets go make out with her friends... I'd rather fuck you than kiss you"