Monday, August 15, 2011

O.T.F.

One..
Time..

Fuuuuuck

Not DTF or DTET or DTDT or any other jazz, but OTF…if that's not a phrase, well it is now..that's right, you heard it here first, OTF, One Time Fuck. This, basically in a nutshell, is applicable to such females that are only good for one single event of sex. Now, in my defense I am unaware if such a thing exists in the female community directed towards males, so I will continue with my single-sidedness.

The One Time Fuck. It's really a difficult matter to discuss because it in itself is such a simple idea…basically there are the girls you marry and the girls you fuck..and as a sub-category for the latter, the girls that are only good for one fucking.

These are the girls that in someway intrigue the male species, the ones that maybe aren't their type…they consist of the extremists in most cases - i know you're lost, let me explain.

My friend and I were out in the hipster part of town and decided to dine at a local pizzeria. Our waitress fit the mold of the clientele who would actually take claim as being a resident of that area. She had the tattoos up the arm, the piercings, dark framed glasses, hand me down clothes, and whatever else she could afford from Urban Outfitters to be seen (scene). She wasn't sexy by any means, but she was probably the best looking female in a fifty foot radius and so something was compelling about her..she was different…this was noted by both myself and my dining companion.

"Damn, she's sexy..I'd pee in her butt," and it was with this statement from my friend that made me see the woes of our ways..we were duped into wanting to have sex with this creature. Right then and there I created the title's phrase, "NO, she's only good for a one time fuck", and I continued to explain. You see, you'd have sex with her, it'd be whatever, but when morning came, and she pulled back the doors to her closet it'd reveal a lot more than just clothes…well, actually, just clothes..but her entire wardrobe would look like she skinned a 70's couch..and that little outfit that you thought was so sexy the day prior would just be replicated again in order to create the character she has been playing…

This is not someone you could continue dating…her colored hair you thought that was 'sticking it to the man' and all of her other little rebellious ways would soon grow old as you wanted her to grow the fuck up…being a scenester is only fun until you realize the bills need to get paid and you need to get a real job…but this bitch's warped sense of reality would only prevent you from wanting you to take her out in public, taking her to your parents..and essentially, continue seeing.

I went social deviant route, but it works for all OTFs…the really hot blonde at the beach - if she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend who's out in the water surfing, she's gonna cheat on you too..or the girl you meet while waiting in line who ends up being really fucking dumb..or the girl in the coffee shop who is just a complete bitch..or the girl at the concert who's a druggie..and let's not even get into the "bar girls"..these types of broads only warrant a one time dicking..enough for you to fulfill your sick and twisted fantasy, and then realize the horrible truth.

And that's exactly what it is, some sick fantasy. Guys want to bang "that chick" - and that chick is any chick at that random point..from the sexy cheerleader to the dominating hardcore slut…ohh, click, now you're catching on. These women are not the women we wished to be with, but because of sick libidos we want to fulfill random urges and therefore we are drawn to them..they aren't sexy, they aren't anything special..they are just random pokemon and we are in the pursuit to catch them all.

This is why we ask our women to role play, to fulfill these urges so outside forces aren't so tempting. And for those women who blatantly refuse to go along with the role playing it's as if you are telling your man to sleep with another woman.

It works both ways i'm certain! If my girl were to ask me to dress up as a cowboy and shag her rotten, you god damn right I would…you know why, because I wouldn't want her going out shopping at the grocery store, running into a guy in a 10 gallon hat with snakeskin boots and all of a sudden getting her pants wet about it. You have to nip that shit in the butt.

Now of course I'm not saying that everyone in a relationship is going to cheat on their significant other because they saw a firefighter or librarian…but those urges are there..and people need to be aware of that..and if you really loved your lover, why wouldn't you want to please them so their minds don't wander.

So, I'm not blaming any one person for causing this, I'm just here to spread the good word, making people aware of such randomcies in life. And yes, this was a blog about the direct correlation to erratic urges of people you randomly see out in public and role playing in the bedroom.

Soooo, who wants to play Civil War Hospital reenactment…i'll be the amputee victim...






"Hi, your personality and presentation of self is nothing i would ever want out of a partner, and frankly I find your existence to be quite annoying - whatever character you've created and decided to live everyday as is a triumph against all normalcies in life and i can only hope and pray one day you wake the fuck up, however that being said it compels me enough to want my dick inside of you just once..i cannot explain as to why, maybe it's my self-expressive or rebellious side peaking out, me being completely absent minded going against the grain, but i know for certain come tomorrow i'll never want anything to actually do with you again"

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