Cold Turkey

cold

hearted

cold like the wood floors of this house...

I want a drink right now...i haven't had a drink in over a month because of this new diet plan...but it's not lack of routine...it's not the addiction that makes it a necessity..it's because i need one right about now.

I laid in bed all day Saturday - correction...I laid in bed with minor breaks to use the bathroom or to make food.  My day consisted of not wanting to be awake, too tired to keep my eyes open, but the moment they closed too many thoughts running kept me awake.  It was torture.  At 10pm I made a steak..a steak, and just that.  At 11pm, I made a fire in the fireplace.  At midnight I made two s'mores. At 1am I went back to sleep.

Sunday wasn't any better, except i did leave the house...among other things.

My first post of the year..my first post in forever.  i wrote an email earlier today, and it stung of lack of focus.  I have had several updates i wanted to post this year already, but, like always, i put them off...because if you put things off, those feelings go away too.

and just like that this post is over.  I've got a lot of work to do...a lot of work.

"just keep helicoptering..."