but what the heck...
..it's november...
and i'm a little drunk
Who wants a post?!?! ok, don't answer...i've been doing this daily booth thing for y'all every day..it's like an awesome mini blog..of sorts...it's like twitter as in i get to write a blurb, i get to add a picture, and in my picture i add a caption..with stitch as well...sounds great eh?
thought so...
it's november, and just as a self fulfilled prophecy is, it's sucking. i'm only eleven days into this mess and it's beyound a shit show...yes i just said this goes to eleven and yes i used a u in beyound...
you know, the other day i waited on a guy who questioned where i was from...he wanted to play that game...he guessed africa, australia, and everywhere else...fuck, i thought he was gonna go states, but he went for the countries....he was thrown off by a certain dissertation in my voice, that doesn't make sense, he was thrown off by how i was saying things...i explained to him i mimic everyone i am around all day long..i can do impressions of literally everyone - it comes from having a keen sense of observation and trying to mock all noises you heard as a kid, go figure...yes, i was the kid who made siren noises and barked like a dog because i wanted to sound as close as possible to it.
as i said it's november..this is how i handle things...i keep them inside...the mere fact i am blogging right now is a fucking miracle - the fact i am cursing a lot isn't surprising....don't want shit, don't start no shit then...yes i just used a double negative, yes you can fuck off.
i get angry when i drink..at times...i guess it comes with the territory....i mean mood or month or something...i'm rambling..
you know what i hate, emotion. mother fuck emotions. if there is one thing i'd rather live without it'd be emotions...i don't like it when people cry, i don't like it when people are all in my face happy, and i especially don't like it if i become one of those people...i cried tonight...i felt like a fucking pussy - not because crying is gay, but because it's below me. i didn't cry when TJ passed away, but on;t because i was expecting it...throw me a wrench and i break down, i fucking hate that...i hate losing control, i fucking hate defeat..
someone told me i was still hung up on my ex, you know, the fucking bitch who still owes me 6k - and i'm not saying she owes me six letter K's, i mean six to the thousand dollars ..yeah, not hung up on her as so much i'm hung up on the fact that i failed...i tried, actually tried to get her back - even though i knew it was stupid, i knew we weren't supposed to be together and hell, i actually initiated the breakup - what i can't get a grasp on is the fact that i fucking tried and i failed...i wasn't good enough, i couldn't win..i was a fucking loser..
would i be happy with her now, who the fuck cares, probably not, i'd probably be trying to break up with her again because i talk to fast using words she doesn't understand...you want a grading scale for women try this...take her IQ, subtract her weight, if it's positive you're golden....
i hate dumb bitches like i hate...whatever..emotions? go with that one again...my mouth tastes like a night at louies...where the fuck is the dumb bitch in my bed this evening..
you know what i hate...i hate the fact i wanna write my thoughts down about everything right now...but there's sooo many different parties that would fucking eat this shit up that i just couldn't deal with that...how dare i publish what's going on in my life for others to read...
which leads me into my last thought, i hope....a co-worker of mine found out something random about me and stated he wanted to write a book about the mysterious enigma that is The Jangus - to which i replied if you were to do that, either a lot of pages would be blank, or if the truth got out, a lot of people would riot - i'll keep myself as the deleted chapter in everyone else's lives and fade away...
so here you go..it's november, so if you like me, do me a favor and fuck off til december...i don't want to deal with anyone or anything at the moment because i'll break...self-fulfilling maybe, my reality at the moment, yes.
"you want me to promise you something that's happening in June, i can't even commit to next week...."
..it's november...
and i'm a little drunk
Who wants a post?!?! ok, don't answer...i've been doing this daily booth thing for y'all every day..it's like an awesome mini blog..of sorts...it's like twitter as in i get to write a blurb, i get to add a picture, and in my picture i add a caption..with stitch as well...sounds great eh?
thought so...
it's november, and just as a self fulfilled prophecy is, it's sucking. i'm only eleven days into this mess and it's beyound a shit show...yes i just said this goes to eleven and yes i used a u in beyound...
you know, the other day i waited on a guy who questioned where i was from...he wanted to play that game...he guessed africa, australia, and everywhere else...fuck, i thought he was gonna go states, but he went for the countries....he was thrown off by a certain dissertation in my voice, that doesn't make sense, he was thrown off by how i was saying things...i explained to him i mimic everyone i am around all day long..i can do impressions of literally everyone - it comes from having a keen sense of observation and trying to mock all noises you heard as a kid, go figure...yes, i was the kid who made siren noises and barked like a dog because i wanted to sound as close as possible to it.
as i said it's november..this is how i handle things...i keep them inside...the mere fact i am blogging right now is a fucking miracle - the fact i am cursing a lot isn't surprising....don't want shit, don't start no shit then...yes i just used a double negative, yes you can fuck off.
i get angry when i drink..at times...i guess it comes with the territory....i mean mood or month or something...i'm rambling..
you know what i hate, emotion. mother fuck emotions. if there is one thing i'd rather live without it'd be emotions...i don't like it when people cry, i don't like it when people are all in my face happy, and i especially don't like it if i become one of those people...i cried tonight...i felt like a fucking pussy - not because crying is gay, but because it's below me. i didn't cry when TJ passed away, but on;t because i was expecting it...throw me a wrench and i break down, i fucking hate that...i hate losing control, i fucking hate defeat..
someone told me i was still hung up on my ex, you know, the fucking bitch who still owes me 6k - and i'm not saying she owes me six letter K's, i mean six to the thousand dollars ..yeah, not hung up on her as so much i'm hung up on the fact that i failed...i tried, actually tried to get her back - even though i knew it was stupid, i knew we weren't supposed to be together and hell, i actually initiated the breakup - what i can't get a grasp on is the fact that i fucking tried and i failed...i wasn't good enough, i couldn't win..i was a fucking loser..
would i be happy with her now, who the fuck cares, probably not, i'd probably be trying to break up with her again because i talk to fast using words she doesn't understand...you want a grading scale for women try this...take her IQ, subtract her weight, if it's positive you're golden....
i hate dumb bitches like i hate...whatever..emotions? go with that one again...my mouth tastes like a night at louies...where the fuck is the dumb bitch in my bed this evening..
you know what i hate...i hate the fact i wanna write my thoughts down about everything right now...but there's sooo many different parties that would fucking eat this shit up that i just couldn't deal with that...how dare i publish what's going on in my life for others to read...
which leads me into my last thought, i hope....a co-worker of mine found out something random about me and stated he wanted to write a book about the mysterious enigma that is The Jangus - to which i replied if you were to do that, either a lot of pages would be blank, or if the truth got out, a lot of people would riot - i'll keep myself as the deleted chapter in everyone else's lives and fade away...
so here you go..it's november, so if you like me, do me a favor and fuck off til december...i don't want to deal with anyone or anything at the moment because i'll break...self-fulfilling maybe, my reality at the moment, yes.
"you want me to promise you something that's happening in June, i can't even commit to next week...."
2 comments:
I'm pretty sure I'm one of those parties... just guessing. I'd prefer you air the dirty laundry here. How can people know there's a problem if you hide it and keep pretending nothing is wrong.
And as far as "failing" with your ex... if I wouldn't have watched you try with her I probably wouldn't have given you another thought. Who cares if you failed, where would you be if you hadn't? I certainly wouldn't ever have talked to you again. Who knows, maybe that's still a big old fail in your book.
Re: Cynthia's last paragraph, I probably wouldn't have either. That was like the most ridiculously annoying thing ever. It was impossible to hang out with you without a million ridiculous texts and at least one cranky call involving crying. Not to mention when the "I know you two are friends, can I have some advice?" emails started. Exhausting, dude. So think about what an epic fail it wasn't. I think you would probably die without me in your life.
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