Trying to go for two in a row here....

keeping up..
and keeping it real...

Ughh, I’ve got this really upset feeling in me..as I left work it started in my stomach, whether it was butterflies or hunger I’ll never decide, but now it has seemed to flow through my body and enter my head...i almost feel as if I am hung over...on what is what I would like to know...

Tonight at work it was pretty shitty...well this morning’s lunch was just god awful, any time you barely have one table and tip out a third of what you made, barely making double digits a lot can be said. I told my story of Bob Dylan’s song and all the random connections I had last night with it to my bartender, she’s a believer in signs so she definitely felt it meant something...but what? Sure you throw signs at me, for once noticeably enough for me to recognize them, but I have no idea what it means or what I am supposed to do with it...it’s like giving a baby a loaded gun...err, that’s too graphic..

I suppose the day started off with a kick when while in preshift the managers were talking about a party in one of the private dining rooms for some Obama campaign or some bullshit...so one of my fellow employees speaks up and says, “oh, I’m sure the jangus would love to get on that party..” everyone just turns to me and without hesitation I pull myself up from my slumped position where I had been daydreaming of something else and say, “fuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuu”, and slumped back down...everyone laughed, even the managers, my work there was done.

Besides only making ten bucks, I never left the building tonight, I didn’t work straight on through..but I got off somewhere after 2 and just sat around eating food and talking with people...Greg stayed and chatted it up even though he was the breakfast guy, he’s also the one who made the obama party comment to me..love that guy...he’s definitely fun to work with, able to play right off my humor...uh-oh...did someone say replacement TJ..i think not....this ass only has room for one dick.....god that sounds gay..

I really just wished that I could have a audio recorder for the dialogue in my head...that would be a blog I’d be proud of...everything in my head, they way the thoughts flow and are so crisp...thats what makes me wanna blog..but my poor typing skills are not up to par with the speed of my thoughts...and I’d do audio recordings, but I don’t want to talk to myself all the time...i guess I would even settle for video blogs..but those have to be sooo rehearsed...i just want cameras to follow me around all the time, then people would appreciate and understand my quikiness..???

See the thing about this blogging is....its not very cohesive to my lifestyle. You see I will sleep in at any chance I can get, I hate mornings, and I hate waking up just as equally much..put those two together and I’m not a happy camper...and to get a good post you got to talk about what happened throughout your day, and that cant happen as soon as you wake up...so naturally you must blog in the evening...well that’s whats so hard - most of the nights I get off work ad return home around midnight, that’s not going out either...and as soon as I get home I have to respond to texts, calls, comments, check on updates across the land...its a process...and even if I try to slip away into the night and blog right then and there, there’s always someone who’s been waiting for me to get off of work that would like to talk to me...

I like to make these blogs in a one sitting, one constant flow venture. I cant write a blog and im people, I cant write and call people, its me and the writing as onlies..sure I’ll pause and look around, have a moment of hesitation, but nothing really to break my train of thought...sure it may seem like it lacks structure, but it is pure, raw emotion bleeding off the pages...i’ll be honest, I don’t read any of this over before I publish it...i mean yeah I want my blog to hit a couple of notes, try into everything nicely, and end on a solid note....but tats not what always happens, I’ll get off on a tangent, meander around in lostville finally realizing what I wanted to say, forgetting half of it, and finish sloppily..hey, it works for me...

Now I will try and go through it and correct some typos, but other than that the only time I read it is when somebody makes a comment on something I said or directly quotes me out of it, then it’s usually me wondering, when did I say that, or what context was that in, read it through and then comment back...these are all just fleeting thoughts that if I were to not put onto...paper...err...screen, they would probably be lost forever, and so my writing style treats it the same...it’s a rant to make me feel better, and for your enjoyment.

Ughh, something must have really did a number on me...i was hellbent on writing long-winded blogs and actually trying to figure out how to publish them..i didn’t think I was gonna sleep tonight and just be dicking around with this shit all the while, but now, now I just wanna sleep....but I’ll write because it’s on my mind..

Hey..can you guess who just got interrupted? Oh yeah, that’s right, me! You know...maybe I am coming off a little mean sounding when I say “interrupted”, you know its not like I don’t want to talk to these people, because in reality I do...i just happen to pick the worst time to try and write a blog...people have been waiting all day to get ahold of me, and once they know I’m online, something gets updated, BAM they are on it..who could blame them, I mean I love myself...i’ll just wait til 4am to blog...every night...

I am starting to feel a little better, go figure, it was only four hours ago when I first started feeling bad...maybe it was just dehydration, that could explain the ‘hung-over’ like symptoms...maybe I’ll start working on the actual blog website like I promised...

“Life is like a bad blowjob - it starts out all fun and games, but before too long you just want it to end..one way or another”